Great.
Family game night
ruins another Saturday.
Mae just invited me over for
Mae-ke Your Own Pizza Night.
That's when they make
pizzas at Mae's.
And now I can't go.
Well, we want to go to
movie night at Conner's.
That's when we go
watch movies...
at Conner's.
Okay.
We all have things
we'd rather do,
so tonight's the night.
We got to tell Mom and Dad
we don't want to do
game night anymore.
Yeah.
We're allowed to have lives too.
It's time to take a stand.
No more family game night.
- Who's ready for
family game night?
- Best night of the week!
- Woot!
Why aren't you wooting?
Mom, Dad...
Before we woot,
we want to talk to you
about game night.
I'm getting the sense you're not
super excited about game night.
Yeah, do you guys not want
to do game night anymore?
[all]
[gently] No!
- Great.
I'll get the pencils.
- I'll get the snacks.
Maybe tonight's not the night.
Right.
Plan B.
We lose every game and get
family lame night over with
so we can go to Conner's
and you can go to Mae's.
Great.
So operation "We lose every game
"and get family lame
night over with
so we can go to Conner's
and you can go to Mae's"
is a go.
This is why we don't
let you name operations.
Okay, okay, okay.
Boom...
chaka-laka!
[both shouting]
Guess you win.
- Yeah!
- Yeah! Whoo!
Ready?
Right foot green.
Ahh!
I pulled a hammy!
Yeah!
Ricky got hurt!
You want us to call
you a wahmbulance?
Wahhhh!
If we were in London,
it would sound like this:
Wah-wah,
wah-wah,
wah-wah.
Seriously, are you okay?
I'm fine.
Great.
You guys win again.
Yes!
Okay, another game night
in the books.
Done in record time.
I guess we're on our own
for the rest of the night.
No, no, no, no, no!
There's more.
Tonight's the perfect night
to unveil a little surprise
we've been working on:
The Harper Family Trivia Game.
Here's a teaser:
Which second cousin
moved to Wisconsin
solely for his love of cheese?
Think about that
while we get the game.
I wish Mom and Dad had something
else to do on Saturday nights
besides ruin ours.
Yeah.
They need some friends so they
can go out once in a while.
Dicky, that's it.
They just need friends.
We need to get Mom and Dad
a life so we can have one too.
All in?
I got it.
The cheese man
is our cousin Jack.
He's from Monterrey.
Ohhh.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- [whistling melody]
♪ ♪
[rhythmic clapping]
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
- [whistling melody]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na-na ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na,
na-na ♪
- ♪ One, two ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na ♪
- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
Okay.
We all want our
Saturday nights free, right?
[all]
Yeah.
So who looks like they'd be
a good match for Mom and Dad?
Ooh.
Look no further.
They're perfect.
Ooh.
Look no further.
It's perfect.
Let's look further.
What about those two?
They look perfect.
That's Mom and Dad.
What about those two?
[Dream Weaver playing]
You mean those two
testing the fans?
Yeah!
All right.
Operation "No More Game Night"
is a go.
That's how you name
an operation.
So, you guys fans
of these fans?
[both laughing]
I'll say.
They're pretty fan-tastic!
So, can we help
you find something?
Such great service.
Could you direct us
to the fishing section?
This one's a big fisherman.
So's our dad!
Fishing section's this way.
I'm sorry, could you
repeat that?
I have a little bit
of a herring problem.
[all laugh]
He's just kidding.
He did that on porpoise.
Ohh!
[sighs]
They're the ones.
Our work here is done.
I don't know, guys.
They mispronounce
a lot of words.
Okay, there are the
customers who need help.
Okay, we're going,
we're going!
So, deep sea's your game, huh?
Oh, I dabble.
Tom Harper.
This is my first mate, Anne.
Oh, we're the Milbanks.
- I'm Phil.
- I'm Bonnie.
Come on, Phil, give it up.
Best catch.
Ten-foot swordfish
off the coast of Barbados.
- Wow!
- Yeah.
Take me there.
It's working.
Here's something you
don't see every day.
You've got a purse
and you've got a purse.
[gasps]
Looks like you two have got
a purse-onal connection.
Yours is beautiful.
Oh, thank you.
I got it in London.
You love London.
You know what my
favorite part is?
The sirens.
[both]
Wah-wah, wah-wah, wah-wah!
And then boom!
Ten foot of swordfish sashimi
is flipping at me feets.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
I've always dreamt
that one day I'd...
meet someone with
a story like that.
And now you have.
And perhaps he has pictures.
Well, if it's fish
pics you're into,
I may have one
or two thousand.
Hey, bon-bon,
come on over here.
I'm showing the fish pics.
Oh, look at that.
Huh?
Um, Mr. and Mrs. Harper,
hi.
So, my favorite band
is playing this weekend
and the only way to get tickets
is if you camp in line,
so I was wondering
if I could borrow a tent.
Sure, whatever.
- And a sleeping bag?
- Sure, whatever.
Can I leave now
and have the weekend off?
Sure, whatever.
Amazing!
[all laugh]
[all sigh]
So...
They're blowing it.
Do something!
Watch me work.
Offer them a smoothie.
Hey, could we
offer you a smoothie?
We'd love a smoothie!
That was a great idea!
It just popped in there!
Well, that went more
smoothie than we thought.
Josie, we need a round of--
Where's Josie?
Bye, Phil.
Bye, Bonnie.
- I--yeesh!
- Oh!
So?
When are you crazy kids
getting together again?
We didn't talk about
anything like that.
Well, maybe you
should call them
and, you know, talk
about things like that.
- Ehh.
- Ah, I don't know.
Whoa.
Is that them in the parking lot
talking to some
other cool adults?
Make the call.
We don't want to seem desperate.
[phone rings]
[gasps]
They're calling us!
[gasps]
What do we do?
[all]
Answer it!
- What do I say?
- I don't know!
Just be yourself.
- I can do that.
- Okay, okay.
Tomcat Harper here.
Meow!
I mean roar!
Why am I making animal noises?
Yes. Yes, it was great
meeting you too.
Oh, really great!
Yeah, that was Anne-cat Harper.
Grr!
Yeah--yes, we would love
to get together again.
Oh, Saturday?
That's actually our
family game night.
- It's fine.
- Go ahead.
Don't worry about us.
Do it!
Oh, why not?
Uh-huh.
Saturday night it is.
It's official.
We're seeing the Milbanks
Saturday night!
Oh, good-bye family game night!
[all]
Yes!
And they're bringing their kids
for double family game night!
[all]
No!
Wait, you guys don't want
to do double family game night?
[all]
[gently] No!
Great!
[all groan]
[sighs]
I can't, Mae.
I'm stuck here again
for family game night.
What?
You're making ice cream sundaes
with unlimited toppings?
Aw, nuts.
And cherries?
Well, that's the topper.
Have fun.
We're never gonna
leave this house.
Maybe Mom and Dad will do
something embarrassing
and scare them off.
[doorbell rings]
[Tom]
We'll get it!
This looks promising.
- What do you think?
- You like our fedoras?
They are perfect...
for Operation "Mom and Dad
do something embarrassing
and scare them off."
What did I tell you?
[gasps]
No way!
You have got to be kidding me.
You look fedorable!
You look fedorabler!
Aw!
On the bright side,
it can't get any worse.
And now presenting
the fedorablest:
Jill, Will, and Phil Jr.
- ♪ Hello ♪
♪ Hello ♪
- ♪ Oh, no ♪
♪ Oh, no ♪
Oi.
We brought this on ourselves.
There's still hope.
Not for Nicky.
[all]
♪ Nicky, Nicky, Nicky, Nicky ♪
I told you we could
turn any name into a song.
It's gonna be fine.
Once the games start,
Mom and Dad will get
super competitive
and scare the Milbanks away.
Why take that chance?
Follow my lead.
Listen, there's something you
should know about our parents.
Oh, dear.
Our mom and dad are
super competitive.
Ohh, double dear.
Phil.
Language.
[sighs]
So take a good look
at those friendly faces.
It's the last time you're
gonna see them tonight.
Well, thanks for
telling us, kids.
Uh, Tom?
Anne?
Sorry to have to tell you this,
but we're gonna have to leave...
you in the dust!
Milbanks!
- Ha ha!
- Yeah!
Let the double family
game night commence!
[air horn blows]
[all]
Game night! Game night!
What have we done?
[all]
Game night! Game night!
[all whispering]
- Yeah!
[Phil]
Nice pull, Will!
[all]
Will! Will! Will! Will!
Zip!
Now put that baby to bed.
Sleep tight, little one.
[all cheer]
All right!
Zip!
You're up.
Don't pay any
attention to them.
What do I do?
Well,
if we have to join them,
we might as well beat
these game night freaks.
Let's do this.
[all]
One, two, three, Harpers!
Want some fries
with that shake, boy?
[all cheering]
Okay, Dawn.
Right hand blue.
Can't reach it, Dawn.
Give up.
Never!
- Ha ha!
- Yeah!
Yeah, that's my girl!
- Nice!
- Yeah!
- What is it, honey?
- What do you need, kiddo?
Somebody call the wahmbulance.
Duck,
duck,
goose.
Hey!
I got this.
You're not the goose!
[screaming]
[Milbanks cheering]
That was so--so violent.
Okay.
Come on.
Harper team meeting
in the kitchen!
We're gonna--
it's okay, buddy.
We're gonna whip
these guys into--
What is wrong with these people?
You see it too?
How could we not see it?
I thought they were
gonna hurt you kids.
Thought?
Phil Jr.'s been punching me
in the kidneys
every chance he gets.
[gasps]
Me too!
[all]
Me too!
We had no idea they
were gonna be like this.
I'm so sorry we
invited them over.
Well...
this might actually be kind of
sort of maybe our fault.
Your fault? How?
All you did was
point out two customers
that needed help
in the fishing section.
[all]
Well...
We might have
set you up with them
so you'd make friends and
we could get out of game night.
But you love game night.
[all]
Well...
Why didn't you just tell us?
Because you guys love
game night so much
we didn't have the heart
to tell you we hate it so much.
Huh. Apparently you do
have the heart.
Look, it's not that we hate
spending time with you.
It's just that sometimes
we'd rather hang out
with our friends.
If we had just
told you the truth,
we wouldn't be stuck with
a family of kidney punchers
in our living room.
[Phil]
Harpers,
come out and pla-ay!
We are so sorry.
All right, listen.
I'm not gonna lie.
We're a little disappointed.
That's a lie.
We're a lot disappointed.
But right now, we have to
deal with the Milbanks.
Let us do it.
We weren't honest with you,
so let us make up for it
by going out there and
being honest with them.
Hmm.
- Wow.
- That one takes after me.
[laughs]
Mr. and Mrs. Milbank,
we've been thinking
about game night.
You know--
Oh, whoa.
Thinking time's over.
We've had the mental challenges.
Now it gets physical.
Now it gets physical?
Yeah.
I want the old man.
Um, that is exactly
what we were thinking.
But first, you know,
we're gonna go upstairs
to get our boxing uniforms.
Yes!
Our boxing uniforms.
- Boxing uniforms!
- Get ready to box!
Grr!
So, where are these
boxing uniforms?
There are no boxing uniforms,
Dicky.
Then what are we gonna
wear when we box?
We're not gonna box!
We're just gonna wait up here
until they leave.
That's your plan?
I'm a kid.
We hide from stuff.
It's what we do!
You're right.
I'm the adult here.
I should start acting
like the adult.
Listen, Phil.
I got to tell you something.
Tomcat's tum-tum really hurts
and he had to go
to the hospital.
- What are you doing?
- I don't know!
[stammering]
No, well, you didn't see us
'cause we left
out the back door.
The upstairs back door.
Well, just let yourselves out
and we'll see you all
again real soon, okay?
No, no, no, no, no.
You got enough to worry about.
We'll just stay here
and hold down the fort
till you get back.
No, no, no,
you don't have to do that.
We could be in
the hospital all night.
Well, even more reason.
Someone's got to stay here
and feed the dog, right?
We left the dog down there.
Please do not stay at our house.
All right. Good.
They're not leaving.
Okay.
New plan.
We call Josie and tell her
to come house sit.
Then the Milbanks
will have to leave.
Mom, phone me.
[loud dance music]
♪ ♪
She's not picking up.
We're just gonna have
to wait them out up here
in this freezing cold attic.
Hey, I found
some warmer clothes!
This is ridiculous.
My family's up here shivering.
What kind of a man am I?
There's only one thing to do:
march down there
and box a seven-year-old.
Or,
we could climb out the window
and camp out at the store.
Now there's a kid with a plan.
No, Tom, we are not putting
our kids in jeopardy
to avoid a beating
from a first grader.
Close the window!
[fluttering]
Shh.
Do you hear that?
[all]
Bat!
Open the window!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
[dull thud]
Shhh.
What was that noise?
Sounds like intruders.
Let's call the police.
- Yeah!
- Battle stations. Let's go!
Come on, Milbanks.
Call police.
Guys, you can come out.
It must have flown
out the window.
- Are you guys okay?
- Oh, that was so scary.
You all right, tiger?
Oh. Intense.
Um...
Dawn?
You have a little something.
[bat shrieks]
Can we please go out the window?
Yes!
[all screaming]
Any intruders come down here,
they're gonna get a Milspank!
Good one, Dad!
Yeah!
All right!
Nothing gets past the Milbanks!
Let's go! Come on!
Follow me.
Police!
Hands on your heads.
Gosh.
Officer, I can explain.
You can explain why you're
breaking into this house?
Oh, no, no, no, no, see.
We weren't breaking in.
We're breaking out.
We live here.
Okay.
Let's see some I.D.
Our wallets are in the house.
Then let's go in
and you can get them.
We can't go in there.
It's a long story.
So you're telling me
you'd rather be hauled
down to the police station
than go back into
your own house?
[all]
Well...
- Well done.
- That was so good.
You know, I got to admit,
family game night did turn out
to be pretty fun after all.
Yeah, glad we didn't
miss this one.
Whose turn is it?
- It's mine!
- Okay!
Your Harper family
trivia category is:
geography!
[all]
Ooh!
Which great aunt
moved to Santa Fe
with her good friend, Esther?
Your house guests
confirmed your story.
You're free to go home.
No, thanks.
We're good.
Was it Aunt Wanda?
Yes, it was!
Woot, woot!
- Woot, woot!
Nice wooting!
All right, who's next?
[all shouting]
- All right,
all right, all right!
Here we go:
Which uncle did we bail
out of this very cell?
- ♪ ♪
- [whistling melody]
♪ ♪
- [vocalizing]
♪ Yeah ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪