1 00:00:06,150 --> 00:00:09,280 [Grace Potter's "Stuck In The Middle" playing] 2 00:00:13,030 --> 00:00:16,780 ♪ Well, I don't know Why I came here tonight ♪ 3 00:00:16,870 --> 00:00:19,870 ♪ Got the feelin' That somethin' ain't right ♪ 4 00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:24,330 ♪ I'm so scared In case I fall off my chair ♪ 5 00:00:24,420 --> 00:00:28,420 ♪ And I'm wondering How I'll get down the stairs ♪ 6 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:32,300 ♪ And there's clowns to the left of me Jokers to the right ♪ 7 00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:36,050 ♪ Here I am Stuck in the middle with you ♪ 8 00:00:36,140 --> 00:00:40,010 ♪ Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you ♪ 9 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:43,560 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ SYNC by DakinPEx 10 00:00:50,230 --> 00:00:51,650 [Sheree] Hmm. 11 00:00:52,860 --> 00:00:54,400 That's another tough one. 12 00:00:54,490 --> 00:00:56,160 But if you had to say... 13 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,830 Okay, if I had to say, I guess I would say... 14 00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:04,710 Ed would play the pan flute on a Tuesday in the Alps. 15 00:01:04,790 --> 00:01:08,130 But don't forget Ed's dead and the Alps aren't real, so... 16 00:01:08,210 --> 00:01:10,800 May I ask where you're going with these strange questions? 17 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:13,800 No one knows how to get Sheree's house back better than Sheree. 18 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:14,920 That's me! 19 00:01:15,010 --> 00:01:17,180 -She just doesn't know she knows it. -I don't! 20 00:01:17,260 --> 00:01:20,510 So we have to poke around in Ed-and-Sheree-land until she does. 21 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,260 Frankie, you're really good at this. 22 00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:26,390 I'm an amateur sleuth with an unimpeachable track record. 23 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,440 Solving the mystery of who put Jolly Ranchers in the blender 24 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,110 isn't much of a track record. 25 00:01:31,190 --> 00:01:33,360 Me, when I was high. [chuckles] 26 00:01:33,780 --> 00:01:34,990 It was a hard one to crack. 27 00:01:35,570 --> 00:01:39,160 -[cell phone vibrating, ringing] -Oh, it's Jacob. I want to talk. 28 00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:43,240 Oh, but I need an hour just to go through my squirrel story. 29 00:01:43,330 --> 00:01:44,830 Well, we can take a break. 30 00:01:44,910 --> 00:01:47,080 A break? You know who takes breaks? 31 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:48,250 You. 32 00:01:48,330 --> 00:01:49,750 Constantly. 33 00:01:49,830 --> 00:01:51,340 That's my genius. 34 00:01:51,420 --> 00:01:54,800 I appear to be taking breaks, but I am always working. 35 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,170 In fact, I took a break in the middle of that sentence 36 00:01:57,260 --> 00:01:58,430 and you didn't even know it. 37 00:01:58,510 --> 00:01:59,800 I didn't notice. 38 00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:01,390 Um... We have a problem. 39 00:02:01,470 --> 00:02:03,930 Yeah, we should be doing this naked in a sweat lodge. 40 00:02:04,010 --> 00:02:06,390 No, somebody's putting Sheree's house on the market. 41 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:10,770 -Come here. Come. Look. -What? They can't do that yet! 42 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,650 Look at this. 43 00:02:13,940 --> 00:02:14,820 [gasps] 44 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:19,570 Oh, those little shits! Oh, it must have been Patricia. 45 00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:20,870 Arnold's too weak. 46 00:02:20,950 --> 00:02:23,700 How my sweet man could have such hateful children? 47 00:02:23,780 --> 00:02:26,200 We gotta stop them. We gotta kill them. 48 00:02:26,290 --> 00:02:28,040 I know someone. It's me. 49 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:30,750 I saw The Accountant and it really resonated. 50 00:02:30,830 --> 00:02:32,750 I couldn't make heads or tails of that movie. 51 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,960 Ignore her. How did you know Ed wanted you to have the house? 52 00:02:36,050 --> 00:02:38,220 He told me. He said it all the time. 53 00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:40,260 Yeah, but did anyone else hear him say it? 54 00:02:40,340 --> 00:02:43,260 And/or did you happen to record any or all of your conversations? 55 00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:45,850 Okay, you need to go take a run around the block. 56 00:02:45,930 --> 00:02:47,980 I mean, he put it in a love letter. 57 00:02:48,770 --> 00:02:51,900 He wrote it down? In his own handwriting? 58 00:02:51,980 --> 00:02:55,650 I think so. He never told me if he knew other handwritings. 59 00:02:55,730 --> 00:02:59,190 I mean, he did win all those penmanship medals in third grade. 60 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,780 Yes! Third grade. Third. Third place. Bronze medal. 61 00:03:02,870 --> 00:03:05,120 -Test your mettle... -She's stuck in a loop. 62 00:03:05,580 --> 00:03:09,250 A handwritten love letter could possibly supersede the original will 63 00:03:09,330 --> 00:03:11,670 if the letter were signed and dated. 64 00:03:11,750 --> 00:03:14,670 Well, she thinks it's signed. She's just not sure it's dated. 65 00:03:14,750 --> 00:03:17,420 And where is this maybe-signed, possibly-dated letter? 66 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:18,550 Somewhere in her house. 67 00:03:18,630 --> 00:03:21,130 Yeah, but her stepkids changed all the locks 68 00:03:21,220 --> 00:03:23,220 and they filed a thing so she can't get in. 69 00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:27,260 Well, then her lawyer needs to file another thing to vacate the first thing. 70 00:03:27,350 --> 00:03:29,770 Which we can help with, if you can wait a few days. 71 00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:33,900 I don't know if you've heard, but I've been nominated for a Tappy Award 72 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:36,980 for my performance in 1776 and tomorrow's... 73 00:03:37,070 --> 00:03:39,860 Does no one understand "ticktock, ticktock"? 74 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:45,820 On The Doctor House show, this is exactly when he would break into a patient's house 75 00:03:45,910 --> 00:03:47,740 and get the letter himself. 76 00:03:47,830 --> 00:03:50,660 Okay, first of all, the show is called House, 77 00:03:50,750 --> 00:03:53,580 and he mostly cures bizarre diseases after making them worse. 78 00:03:53,670 --> 00:03:57,210 And last time I checked, we are not breaking into any place. 79 00:03:57,290 --> 00:03:59,260 Well, check again, because we are. 80 00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:00,420 I just did. 81 00:04:00,510 --> 00:04:02,930 We're going to get these two to help us do the legal stuff. 82 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:05,220 I'm just afraid if we tip our hand, 83 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:08,310 the stepkids might figure out what we're trying to get. 84 00:04:08,390 --> 00:04:09,470 And destroy it. 85 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,600 Oh, Grace. Oh my God, Sol's right. We need to break in. 86 00:04:12,690 --> 00:04:15,940 I feel like that's a slight bastardization of what I was trying say. 87 00:04:16,020 --> 00:04:17,400 We are not breaking into her house. 88 00:04:17,980 --> 00:04:20,780 Okay. I didn't want to tell you this, 89 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:23,900 but we have to do something while she can still enjoy it. 90 00:04:23,990 --> 00:04:26,870 Because I found some other papers up in the studio. 91 00:04:26,950 --> 00:04:30,870 Sheree is dying from Erdheim-Chester disease. 92 00:04:30,950 --> 00:04:33,830 She is not. You heard that on House. 93 00:04:34,290 --> 00:04:37,460 That may be, but Sheree is out of options. 94 00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:39,210 And frankly, so am I. 95 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:40,670 I'm in limbo here. 96 00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:43,510 I need my home back. I need my studio. 97 00:04:43,590 --> 00:04:45,090 I need to paint. 98 00:04:45,180 --> 00:04:49,100 I tried painting at Starbucks the other day and it was super weird. 99 00:04:49,180 --> 00:04:52,390 Actually, as still-licensed attorneys, 100 00:04:52,470 --> 00:04:57,020 neither Robert nor I can be party to the planning of a crime. 101 00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:59,820 I think we've spent enough time in jail already. 102 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,030 I can't go back, man. 103 00:05:02,110 --> 00:05:04,530 Then we will retreat to Del Taco, 104 00:05:04,610 --> 00:05:06,780 where all my best shenanigans are plotted. 105 00:05:06,860 --> 00:05:08,490 Vámonos, Grace. 106 00:05:08,570 --> 00:05:12,200 I think we all knew this would end with me back at Del Taco 107 00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:15,160 and that I'd be breaking into Sheree's house. 108 00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:19,340 Should I be offended they didn't congratulate me on my Tappy nod? 109 00:05:20,340 --> 00:05:21,840 They're not real theater people. 110 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:26,090 Excuse me, I was in Mummenschanz for three years. 111 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,890 -Don't sit down! -What the fuck?! 112 00:05:34,980 --> 00:05:36,600 Barry, I told you. 113 00:05:36,690 --> 00:05:39,940 Spit uses those pillows to create a safe space. 114 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:41,610 Oh, my God. Come on. 115 00:05:41,690 --> 00:05:45,990 Look, until I start my new job, this is my safe space too, so... 116 00:05:46,070 --> 00:05:49,070 I'm happy to keep paying the dog walker if you can't juggle watching Spit 117 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,200 with the high stakes world of waiting for your job to begin. 118 00:05:52,580 --> 00:05:54,200 Okay, you know, I think I can handle it. 119 00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:57,580 Great. Can I just run you through a few things real quick? 120 00:05:57,660 --> 00:05:58,870 By all means. 121 00:06:01,290 --> 00:06:04,380 So you may have noticed that Spit's bed moves around during the day. 122 00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:05,800 I trip on it regularly, yes. 123 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,180 So that's because Spit likes to follow the sun. 124 00:06:08,260 --> 00:06:10,090 So, 2:00 is lunchtime. 125 00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:12,350 So just take 30 pieces of dry food... 126 00:06:13,310 --> 00:06:14,890 like that, but count them out. 127 00:06:14,970 --> 00:06:18,230 Just think of this room as a giant sundial, 128 00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:20,850 and then move his bed around it accordingly... 129 00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:22,400 And then moisten it with a mister. 130 00:06:24,190 --> 00:06:26,900 ...making sure it's never in full light. 131 00:06:26,990 --> 00:06:28,610 Spit prefers half. 132 00:06:29,530 --> 00:06:33,700 And then hand-feed it to him, crouching down very non-aggressively on the floor. 133 00:06:33,780 --> 00:06:36,790 How about I don't do that? And he's a dog. 134 00:06:36,870 --> 00:06:38,710 Save that attitude for Lauren. 135 00:06:38,790 --> 00:06:42,170 Oh, I have to show you where I keep the Ugg boot he likes to hump. 136 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:43,920 The what? 137 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,710 We call her Candace. 138 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:50,300 Oh. Damn it. Give me another one. 139 00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:54,300 You've broken two of mine. Go break another one of your own. 140 00:06:54,390 --> 00:06:55,510 Fine. 141 00:06:56,930 --> 00:06:58,640 Who still uses Diners Club? 142 00:06:59,350 --> 00:07:01,770 "Steven Capono," that's who. 143 00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:03,230 I'm not gonna ask. 144 00:07:03,310 --> 00:07:04,940 Oh, don't. 145 00:07:07,730 --> 00:07:08,990 Shit. 146 00:07:10,070 --> 00:07:13,490 Oh, don't worry, I've done this hanger thing a million times 147 00:07:13,570 --> 00:07:15,240 to get access to our garage. 148 00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:18,370 -Yeah, or you just leave it open. -Well, that works, too. 149 00:07:18,450 --> 00:07:20,660 Hey, just give it to me. 150 00:07:21,790 --> 00:07:24,840 Good idea. You're taller. I'll keep watch. 151 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:28,260 That squirrel. That squirrel's got its eye on us. 152 00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:31,840 Which is the crux of the squirrel story I have to tell Jacob. 153 00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:35,180 Nice try, CIA robot-squirrel. 154 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:40,140 Ah! I did it! Here. I did it! I did it! Oh, I'm a bad girl. 155 00:07:40,230 --> 00:07:42,520 Grace! Grace! Grace! 156 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,480 Yes! 157 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,110 -[Grace shrieks] -[laughs] 158 00:07:45,190 --> 00:07:46,400 We did it! 159 00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:49,150 Be cool. Be cool. 160 00:07:49,230 --> 00:07:50,360 Shh. 161 00:07:57,780 --> 00:07:59,160 [cell phone rings] 162 00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:03,330 Hi, Grace. Tell Frankie her disguise worked. 163 00:08:03,420 --> 00:08:07,750 The mail lady... person, mailperson, had no idea who I was. 164 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:12,130 I will. But... we're in your garage and we've hit a deadbolt. 165 00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:15,090 Oh, God, why are doors so hard? 166 00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:16,800 But there's another way. 167 00:08:16,890 --> 00:08:18,640 But, oh, you're not gonna like it. 168 00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:26,100 You can do this, Grace. 169 00:08:26,610 --> 00:08:29,150 You've been training for it your whole life. 170 00:08:29,230 --> 00:08:31,780 Yeah, not since I started eating cheddar biscuits. 171 00:08:31,860 --> 00:08:33,650 That's what the cloggasins are for. 172 00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:36,280 If you get stuck, I can kick you on through. 173 00:08:36,370 --> 00:08:38,780 -That is not going to work for me. -Oh, don't worry. 174 00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:42,700 The cloggasins have the heft of a clog, but the softness of a moccasin. 175 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:45,500 They're the one good thing that came out of Santa Fe. 176 00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:48,040 Or are they, in fact, the worst thing? 177 00:08:48,130 --> 00:08:51,710 Oh, come on, Grace. I'd try it, but my back... 178 00:08:52,710 --> 00:08:53,760 Don't kick me. 179 00:08:54,170 --> 00:08:55,840 Oh, Scout's honor. 180 00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:57,930 [Grace] Okay, here we go. 181 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,010 [Grace sighs] 182 00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,810 That's it! You're doing it! 183 00:09:06,270 --> 00:09:07,440 I'm stuck! 184 00:09:09,730 --> 00:09:11,610 I said not to do that! 185 00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:13,940 -But it's helping! -No, it's not! 186 00:09:14,030 --> 00:09:15,280 But it's fun! 187 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,910 -[Grace grunts] -Get this side in. Yes! 188 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,950 That's it! You did it! We're in! 189 00:09:20,030 --> 00:09:22,290 -Oh, God, my knee. -Oh, no! 190 00:09:22,370 --> 00:09:26,000 Which knee? The arthritic knee or the torn meniscus knee? 191 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:30,630 The one that's still strong enough to pin you down while I strangle you. 192 00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:36,630 "To be called a 'newcomer' at age 73 was sweet enough... 193 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,510 but to actually win this? 194 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,470 I have so many people to thank. 195 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,730 First and foremost, my wonderful husband, Sol, 196 00:09:44,810 --> 00:09:49,190 for loving me and talking me down off every ledge in our house." 197 00:09:49,270 --> 00:09:50,480 Pause for laugh. 198 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:51,400 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. 199 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:55,400 "To Peter, our director, Kim, our saint of a choreographer, 200 00:09:55,490 --> 00:09:58,860 all the guys in the cast, and our two dolls... 201 00:09:58,950 --> 00:10:02,120 Guess which show I want to do after The Music Man?" 202 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,160 Pause for laugh. 203 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:04,290 Ha-ha-ha. 204 00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:06,790 -Wait, what show? -Guys and Dolls. 205 00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,420 Oh! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. 206 00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:13,130 "To everyone at dressbarn for sponsoring this fancy evening, 207 00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:16,550 I'm honored, I'm touched, I'm verklempt, 208 00:10:16,670 --> 00:10:20,510 all of which Sol will have to deal with on the car ride home. 209 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,010 Thank you, and God bless." 210 00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:27,640 -Wonderful. Can I make a suggestion? -Always. 211 00:10:27,730 --> 00:10:31,270 What if this is your Vanessa Redgrave moment? 212 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:34,780 I like to think of every moment as my Vanessa Redgrave moment. 213 00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:38,700 I meant at how she used her Oscar speech as a political platform. 214 00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:41,370 Sol, this is a dressbarn platform. 215 00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:44,990 It's hardly the time or the place for burning our bras. 216 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:49,410 We need to take advantage of whatever platform we find ourselves standing on. 217 00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:52,460 There are so many things that need saying right now, 218 00:10:52,540 --> 00:10:54,590 and this is a chance to say it. 219 00:10:55,590 --> 00:10:57,010 Indoors. 220 00:10:57,710 --> 00:10:59,420 In our Sunday best. 221 00:11:00,130 --> 00:11:01,930 With no threat of police action. 222 00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:06,060 That may be more of a "you" thing than a "me" thing. 223 00:11:06,770 --> 00:11:07,810 You mean... 224 00:11:09,810 --> 00:11:11,400 like ironing? 225 00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:22,110 What were you doing? 226 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,950 -Nothing. -Bitch, you were watching something. 227 00:11:25,780 --> 00:11:26,990 I am your boss. 228 00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:30,330 Sorry. Mrs. Bitch, what were you watching? 229 00:11:30,410 --> 00:11:31,420 Okay, fine. 230 00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:32,500 Ooh! 231 00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:36,170 Aw, it's the Spit-cam... 232 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,880 now co-starring Barry. 233 00:11:39,380 --> 00:11:42,010 -[gasps] You're spying. -No, I'm not spying. 234 00:11:42,090 --> 00:11:45,350 -Does Barry know the cameras are there? -Probably, deep down. Yeah. 235 00:11:45,430 --> 00:11:47,220 So, no. 236 00:11:47,310 --> 00:11:50,520 It's lunchtime and I need to make sure that he feeds him correctly. 237 00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:53,230 Good boy, Barry. 238 00:11:57,570 --> 00:12:00,320 No, don't rub his face in it. 239 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,110 This... is... riveting. 240 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:13,460 He tried for, like, two seconds, and then he just gave up. 241 00:12:13,540 --> 00:12:15,830 Yeah, like me and the Big Brother program. 242 00:12:16,460 --> 00:12:18,300 Agh, Diego. 243 00:12:20,590 --> 00:12:24,050 Yeah, I can see why everyone's fighting over this place. 244 00:12:24,130 --> 00:12:26,890 We need to find this letter and get out of here. 245 00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:33,190 I'll do Reiki on your knee when we get home. 246 00:12:33,270 --> 00:12:34,560 Oh, that'll be great. 247 00:12:35,060 --> 00:12:36,980 -Really? -No! 248 00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,480 Now help me look! 249 00:12:38,570 --> 00:12:40,190 [cell phone vibrating, ringing] 250 00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:42,780 -Turn that off! -It's Bud. 251 00:12:42,860 --> 00:12:45,070 They were finding out the sex of the baby. 252 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,620 We have broken and entered. This is no time-- 253 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:48,910 I'll be quick. 254 00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:51,870 Hey, hi, honey. 255 00:12:52,580 --> 00:12:54,830 Yes. Cut right to it. 256 00:12:55,460 --> 00:12:58,500 -It's a girl! -That's great. Now hang up. 257 00:12:59,290 --> 00:13:01,920 Bud, congratulations. I'll call you right back. 258 00:13:02,010 --> 00:13:03,590 Hi, Allison. 259 00:13:14,980 --> 00:13:18,100 Tomorrow's a full moon, I'll come over and bring my crystals. 260 00:13:18,190 --> 00:13:19,520 Bye, Allison! 261 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:22,230 -[scoffs] -Oh! 262 00:13:23,190 --> 00:13:25,740 Just because we are in the middle of a heist 263 00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:28,820 doesn't mean that phone etiquette flies out the GD window. 264 00:13:28,910 --> 00:13:30,990 Yeah, well, what about heist etiquette? 265 00:13:35,750 --> 00:13:39,250 Oh, you are gonna school me on heist etiquette? 266 00:13:39,330 --> 00:13:40,170 Somebody there? 267 00:13:41,460 --> 00:13:42,800 [whispers] Oh, shit. 268 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,050 -Oh, God. -Hello? 269 00:13:48,050 --> 00:13:49,430 Hello? 270 00:13:51,810 --> 00:13:53,770 [off-key playing] 271 00:13:53,850 --> 00:13:54,980 Who the hell are you? 272 00:13:55,890 --> 00:13:56,730 Oh. 273 00:13:56,810 --> 00:13:59,600 -I'm gonna call the cops. -No, no. I'm gonna level with you. 274 00:14:00,190 --> 00:14:02,150 My name is Jennifer Nightingale. 275 00:14:02,230 --> 00:14:05,900 I'm a harpist-slash-tax accountant from out of state 276 00:14:05,990 --> 00:14:08,610 and I don't know how I got here. 277 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:12,080 -What? -And I'm Carol Carruthers 278 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,080 of Carol Carruthers Realty. 279 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:16,330 And you must be... Arnold? 280 00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:17,540 Yeah... 281 00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:20,880 Your sister, Patricia, has been in touch. 282 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,380 I didn't know that she'd already reached out to realtors. 283 00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:26,010 Oh, she has. So I brought my best customer. 284 00:14:26,090 --> 00:14:29,090 -Jennifer Nightinhorse. Nightingale. -Jennifer Nightingale 285 00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:32,050 is thinking about moving here from Santa Fe. 286 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,560 -I always wanted to go there. -Well, do yourself a favor: Skip it. 287 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,440 -Really? -Do you like a hot, brown heat? 288 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,230 Do you enjoy finding snakes in your purse and in your hair, 289 00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:43,480 and not in the empowering Medusa way? 290 00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:45,480 Jenn is looking to make some changes. 291 00:14:45,570 --> 00:14:48,150 She also... she needs a lot of closet space, 292 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:53,030 so we'd like to investigate every one in the house. Every single one. Okay? 293 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,160 I have a lot of jackets. 294 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,700 What about the brown heat? 295 00:14:56,790 --> 00:14:58,540 Well, the jackets are solar. 296 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,330 -Shall we? -Oh. Okay. Uh, follow me. 297 00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,630 I think I love Carol Carruthers. 298 00:15:05,710 --> 00:15:07,920 Well, she is on the fence about you. 299 00:15:10,590 --> 00:15:15,430 And finally, I have to thank my amazing assistant director, Suzanne Wu, 300 00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:20,480 for always being there with great advice and a full glass of chardonnay. 301 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:21,390 [laughter] 302 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,900 Thank you! Thank you! 303 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,320 It's official: I hate the Tappy Awards. 304 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,030 -And I've met Suzanne Wu. She's a jackass. -Shh. 305 00:15:31,150 --> 00:15:32,360 Congratulations. 306 00:15:32,450 --> 00:15:33,450 Thank you. 307 00:15:35,620 --> 00:15:38,410 Well, next year, when you win for The Music Man, 308 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:43,330 you could be up there thanking me and Sol, if you agree to let him be my assistant. 309 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,210 Why would I agree to that? 310 00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,380 -Sorry, Sol. I tried. -It's okay. 311 00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:50,590 I just wish that man's very long speech 312 00:15:50,670 --> 00:15:53,300 had been more than an endless list of thank yous. 313 00:15:53,390 --> 00:15:55,680 On my way out, I'm going to punch him in the neck. 314 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:59,180 The nominees for Best Newcomer in a Play or Musical are... 315 00:15:59,270 --> 00:16:00,480 Oh! Here we go! 316 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,520 Paul Brunetto for Grease. 317 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,020 [cheering] 318 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,150 Robert Hanson for 1776. 319 00:16:08,230 --> 00:16:09,690 -[both] Yay! -Shh. 320 00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:11,650 Stop! I'm not winning. 321 00:16:11,740 --> 00:16:13,150 Maddie Rogers for Annie. 322 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,410 She's gonna win. 323 00:16:15,990 --> 00:16:18,280 She's already won Best Actress, 324 00:16:18,370 --> 00:16:22,080 Best Female Dancer: Tap, and Best Female Dancer: Jazz. 325 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,670 Divonni Sella for Tick, Tick... Boom!. 326 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:27,880 And the winner is... 327 00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:35,050 -Robert Hanson for 1776! -Oh, my God, I won! 328 00:16:35,140 --> 00:16:36,300 You won! 329 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:37,600 Ah! 330 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:38,890 [laughs] 331 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,390 Get up there, "Newcomer"! 332 00:16:43,690 --> 00:16:46,020 Oh, I'll need these. Oh, my gosh. 333 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,400 [laughing] 334 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:51,320 Mwah! 335 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,570 Oh! Oh! 336 00:16:53,650 --> 00:16:54,490 Wow! 337 00:16:54,570 --> 00:16:56,110 [laughing] 338 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,530 Oh, thank... [chuckling] 339 00:16:59,910 --> 00:17:01,450 I mean, wow! 340 00:17:03,460 --> 00:17:07,080 To be called a "newcomer" at age 73 was sweet enough, 341 00:17:07,170 --> 00:17:09,250 but to actually win this... 342 00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:12,380 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 343 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:24,310 You know, it was an honor to play... 344 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,850 John Adams, a man who stood up... 345 00:17:29,190 --> 00:17:30,020 [sighs] 346 00:17:30,110 --> 00:17:33,990 ...to things that were bigger and scarier and more powerful than he was. 347 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:37,990 And, you know, we had a little taste of that 348 00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:40,780 during our run of 1776. 349 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:45,960 We had to stand up to bullies who were threatening to shut us down 350 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:49,040 because we are a gay theater group. 351 00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:51,500 But we did stand up. 352 00:17:51,590 --> 00:17:57,720 Because the show of eradicating intolerance must go on. 353 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:05,390 And for that, I have to thank my director, Peter Higgins... 354 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:11,560 and my beautiful, wonderful, supportive cast: 355 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:16,320 Paul, Charlie, Wenda, Michael, even Steve. 356 00:18:17,030 --> 00:18:19,530 I thank all those brave souls, 357 00:18:19,610 --> 00:18:21,620 my brothers and sisters in battle. 358 00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,870 Must be saving the best for last. 359 00:18:23,950 --> 00:18:26,830 And I thank the one man 360 00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:29,620 who truly made all this possible... 361 00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:34,340 John Adams. 362 00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:39,680 I zoned out. Did he thank you? 363 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,090 [people cheering] 364 00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:44,680 -[barks] -Hey! 365 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,270 Hi, little man. 366 00:18:47,350 --> 00:18:48,180 Oh. 367 00:18:48,270 --> 00:18:49,770 -Hey. -Hi, big man. 368 00:18:50,900 --> 00:18:52,690 -You're home early. -Not really. 369 00:18:52,770 --> 00:18:55,280 So, you guys have a good day? How was Spit? Did he eat? 370 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,070 Yeah. Every last bite. 371 00:18:57,650 --> 00:18:58,780 That's good. 372 00:19:06,450 --> 00:19:07,290 [whimpers] 373 00:19:08,660 --> 00:19:09,960 Okay, here you go. 374 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,040 -Smells good. -Yeah. 375 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,040 So what are you doing? 376 00:19:15,170 --> 00:19:18,970 I just want to make sure I threw all that yogurt out. I hate yogurt. 377 00:19:19,050 --> 00:19:22,260 -I don't know why I keep buying it. -Because I like it? 378 00:19:22,340 --> 00:19:23,720 And I buy it? 379 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,470 So... did you do the hand thing? 380 00:19:27,060 --> 00:19:27,890 What? 381 00:19:27,970 --> 00:19:29,230 When you fed Spit. 382 00:19:29,980 --> 00:19:31,770 Oh. Yeah. [chuckles] 383 00:19:31,850 --> 00:19:32,770 And it worked? 384 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,440 -Yeah, he ate. -From your hand? 385 00:19:36,020 --> 00:19:39,190 -Why do you keep asking that? -No, I was just asking about your day. 386 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:40,570 Oh. 387 00:19:40,650 --> 00:19:42,410 Well, my mom called-- 388 00:19:42,490 --> 00:19:43,700 With Spit. 389 00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:47,080 She got her birthday card. 390 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:52,540 Wow, when you look in a closet, you really get in there. 391 00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:55,590 It's hereditary. Both my parents were gynecologists. 392 00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:58,000 -Oh. -Oh, what do we have here? 393 00:19:58,090 --> 00:20:00,300 Oh, well that's sort of a catch-all room. 394 00:20:03,590 --> 00:20:06,050 Oh, Arnold, isn't this the perfect time 395 00:20:06,140 --> 00:20:09,470 to tell you all about the magical world of tax accounting? 396 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,440 -Well-- -Not much is known about tax accounting. 397 00:20:12,810 --> 00:20:17,070 Of course, the ancients tell us that it all began with Pythagoras, 398 00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:18,730 a known philanderer, 399 00:20:18,820 --> 00:20:20,940 but that's a story for another time. 400 00:20:21,030 --> 00:20:22,240 And that time is now. 401 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,410 -Pythagoras-- -[whispers] We're clean. 402 00:20:25,030 --> 00:20:28,870 Would you stop talking my ear off and let's see the rest of the house. 403 00:20:28,950 --> 00:20:31,700 Okay. Well, there are some closets in the kitchen. Did you see those? 404 00:20:31,790 --> 00:20:33,160 No, but we're about to. 405 00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:35,670 And if there are some crackers and some soft cheese spread, 406 00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:37,040 we'll see that, too. 407 00:20:44,430 --> 00:20:47,930 Ugh. Really slaps you in the rods and cones. 408 00:20:48,510 --> 00:20:50,430 -I found it! -Where'd you come from? 409 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,020 Where was it? 410 00:20:52,100 --> 00:20:55,900 Oh! It was in Ed's humidor where he hid his candy. 411 00:20:55,980 --> 00:20:58,190 Oh, my God! What kind of candy? 412 00:20:58,270 --> 00:21:01,530 -Lots of kinds! What do you like? -Signed and dated. 413 00:21:01,690 --> 00:21:04,320 -[chuckles] -What the hell are you doing here? 414 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,860 The question is what are you doing here? 415 00:21:06,950 --> 00:21:12,160 I have a letter from my husband saying that he wanted me to have this house. 416 00:21:12,290 --> 00:21:14,830 Our house. Our home. 417 00:21:14,910 --> 00:21:17,290 But you knew that already, Arnold, didn't you? 418 00:21:17,380 --> 00:21:19,590 -Answer the woman, Arnold. -Look. 419 00:21:19,670 --> 00:21:22,210 -You know what, I don't know what she-- -What I don't know 420 00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:25,630 is how you and your sister could treat me like this. 421 00:21:26,220 --> 00:21:27,720 I tried with you. 422 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,600 I invited you to every holiday. 423 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:34,600 Every Christmas, I stuffed stockings for you and your kids 424 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,730 and you never came once. 425 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:41,150 Which was a crappy thing to do to your father. 426 00:21:41,230 --> 00:21:42,650 And our friend. 427 00:21:43,070 --> 00:21:44,650 [chuckles] Look, Jennifer, 428 00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:46,990 -I don't know what this woman has-- -Get out. 429 00:21:47,070 --> 00:21:49,820 -What? -Get out of her house. 430 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,580 [door opens, closes] 431 00:21:57,670 --> 00:21:59,670 -He left. -Damn straight he left! 432 00:21:59,750 --> 00:22:01,670 And he better not come back. 433 00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:04,670 I know all kinds of jujitsu I made up. 434 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,300 I can't believe it. 435 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,590 -Thank you both. -You're welcome. 436 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:09,840 Aah! 437 00:22:12,180 --> 00:22:14,100 [Robert] I meant to thank you! 438 00:22:14,180 --> 00:22:16,680 No, no, I understand. 439 00:22:17,690 --> 00:22:20,100 If you had more time, 440 00:22:20,190 --> 00:22:21,900 you would have gotten to me 441 00:22:21,980 --> 00:22:25,820 and the rest of your second-tier thank yous. 442 00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:29,860 You had to get Steve in there, right up there at the top. 443 00:22:29,950 --> 00:22:33,580 Steve, who you once called "Theatrical ISIS." 444 00:22:33,660 --> 00:22:37,120 But you heard my original speech. I thanked you first! 445 00:22:37,540 --> 00:22:41,170 -If you hadn't made me change it-- -Oh, this is my fault? 446 00:22:41,250 --> 00:22:43,960 Well, if you hadn't filled my head with all that political stuff. 447 00:22:44,050 --> 00:22:45,380 Don't put this on me. 448 00:22:45,460 --> 00:22:49,680 Just because I wanted your award to mean something. 449 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,640 Oh, there it is. 450 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,470 -No, no, I don't mean-- -Yes, you did. 451 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,890 Everything about you these days is about saving the world 452 00:22:56,970 --> 00:22:58,810 and all else pales in comparison. 453 00:22:58,890 --> 00:23:02,020 Yes, I'm a terrible person for wanting to heal the world. 454 00:23:02,110 --> 00:23:05,820 No, but you think that everything you do is more important than what I do, 455 00:23:05,900 --> 00:23:08,900 when what I do means as much to me as what you do means to you. 456 00:23:08,990 --> 00:23:10,490 And I respect that. 457 00:23:11,530 --> 00:23:13,160 -But I just think... -Yes? 458 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,870 -...that what I do... -Tread lightly. 459 00:23:15,950 --> 00:23:17,580 -...is more... -You sure? 460 00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:20,250 It's apples and oranges, Robert! 461 00:23:20,330 --> 00:23:22,460 And which do you like more, Sol? 462 00:23:22,540 --> 00:23:24,670 You didn't thank me! 463 00:23:24,750 --> 00:23:26,460 And I'm very sorry. 464 00:23:26,550 --> 00:23:30,930 And I've apologized numerous times, and I would change it if I could. 465 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:36,850 And I'm sorry I implied that your thing isn't meaningful. 466 00:23:37,770 --> 00:23:38,850 Thank you. 467 00:23:39,310 --> 00:23:40,270 Oh, sure. 468 00:23:40,890 --> 00:23:42,190 That you thank me for. 469 00:23:47,730 --> 00:23:51,570 "I learned a lot from 1776 about the great men of the past. 470 00:23:51,650 --> 00:23:53,570 But I learn even more every day 471 00:23:53,660 --> 00:23:56,580 from the greatest man in my present and future, 472 00:23:56,660 --> 00:23:58,490 Sol Bergstein." 473 00:24:00,450 --> 00:24:01,710 When did you add that? 474 00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:05,330 While you were ripping me a new one in the car ride home. 475 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,250 Pause for laugh. 476 00:24:18,810 --> 00:24:19,930 What are you doing with that? 477 00:24:25,980 --> 00:24:28,190 I just hope I didn't peak too soon. 478 00:24:32,700 --> 00:24:34,450 He's not even trying the hand thing. 479 00:24:34,530 --> 00:24:36,410 Ugh, that's why I broke up with my last boyfriend. 480 00:24:36,530 --> 00:24:40,040 Gonna have to say something to him. I mean, before Spit starves to death. 481 00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:42,210 Uh... No, you aren't. Look. 482 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,250 [Brianna] He's eating. 483 00:24:45,330 --> 00:24:46,790 How did he get him-- 484 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:48,540 -[gasps] -Shit! Uh-uh. 485 00:24:48,790 --> 00:24:50,840 -Nope. Nope, nope, nope. -Barry found the cameras. 486 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,130 -Destroy the computer. Meet me in Mexico. -Okay. 487 00:25:04,890 --> 00:25:06,230 Hey. 488 00:25:06,310 --> 00:25:07,360 Hey. 489 00:25:09,230 --> 00:25:11,480 So, there are cameras around so I can watch Spit. 490 00:25:11,820 --> 00:25:13,400 Yeah, I noticed. 491 00:25:16,530 --> 00:25:18,780 So, how did you get him to eat from his bowl? 492 00:25:18,870 --> 00:25:22,290 Well, I put food in it because he continues to be a dog. 493 00:25:23,830 --> 00:25:25,250 Look at you... 494 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,460 -knowing what's a dog. -Okay, you know what... 495 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:32,630 What the fuck is going on? You follow me to Baltimore, you stalk me. 496 00:25:32,710 --> 00:25:35,300 Right? Then I come back. But now I feel like you're testing me. 497 00:25:35,380 --> 00:25:37,760 First with Lauren, and now with Spit. 498 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,050 -I'm not testing you. -Okay, then what are you doing? 499 00:25:40,140 --> 00:25:43,020 I don't know what I'm doing! Isn't that obvious? 500 00:25:43,100 --> 00:25:45,270 How long are you going to use that as an excuse? 501 00:25:45,350 --> 00:25:48,150 At what point do you start acting like a normal person and say, 502 00:25:48,230 --> 00:25:49,610 "I'm in a relationship now"? 503 00:25:49,690 --> 00:25:52,820 But whenever I get to "I'm in a relationship now," I fuck it up. 504 00:25:52,900 --> 00:25:55,530 Except with Spit, and that's probably because he can't leave me. 505 00:25:55,610 --> 00:25:58,240 -I'm not leaving you either. -We don't know that, Barry. 506 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,370 -You can open doors. -Yes, but... 507 00:26:01,490 --> 00:26:03,330 I will always come back to you. 508 00:26:07,750 --> 00:26:09,500 You're a good boy, Barry. 509 00:26:09,580 --> 00:26:10,540 Thank you. 510 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:18,180 One sec. 511 00:26:25,930 --> 00:26:27,140 Damn it. 512 00:26:27,810 --> 00:26:30,100 [Don Knotts on TV] Now if I, as just plain John Doe, 513 00:26:30,190 --> 00:26:33,520 an ordinary citizen, were to see you making a U-turn, I'd have to... 514 00:26:33,610 --> 00:26:37,240 Hey, Jennifer Nightingale, I can hear Don Knotts in my bedroom. 515 00:26:37,820 --> 00:26:39,860 You can? I can't. 516 00:26:40,450 --> 00:26:44,910 Well, your ears are just ornamental at this point, aren't they? 517 00:26:44,990 --> 00:26:46,700 How's that knee, lady? 518 00:26:46,790 --> 00:26:47,790 Oh, it's better. 519 00:26:47,870 --> 00:26:50,000 Just stabbing pains now. 520 00:26:51,290 --> 00:26:52,460 But it was worth it. 521 00:26:52,540 --> 00:26:54,340 -Yeah, it was. -Yeah. 522 00:26:55,420 --> 00:26:57,550 I couldn't have done it without you. 523 00:26:58,010 --> 00:27:01,050 Impersonating a tax accountant and her realtor? 524 00:27:01,340 --> 00:27:04,010 I like to think you wouldn't do it without me. 525 00:27:04,100 --> 00:27:06,180 -Well, I wouldn't. -[Frankie chuckles] 526 00:27:08,810 --> 00:27:11,690 Do you have a secret stash of love letters? 527 00:27:11,770 --> 00:27:14,400 Robert used to write very thorough grocery lists. 528 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:15,860 -Ah. -You? 529 00:27:15,940 --> 00:27:18,900 Oh, yeah. I've got a whole box of letters. 530 00:27:19,650 --> 00:27:20,820 From Bud and Coyote 531 00:27:20,910 --> 00:27:24,950 when they went to the Angela Davis Camp for Feminist Boys. 532 00:27:25,030 --> 00:27:27,040 [Frankie chuckles] 533 00:27:28,750 --> 00:27:31,620 It must be nice for Sheree to have been loved like that. 534 00:27:31,710 --> 00:27:32,750 Yeah. 535 00:27:32,830 --> 00:27:33,960 Hmm. 536 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:39,260 Speaking of, did you fill Jacob in on your squirrel theory? 537 00:27:39,340 --> 00:27:41,680 No, I missed our Skype-Face. 538 00:27:42,300 --> 00:27:45,760 And that means the squirrels win and I'm never getting to sleep. 539 00:27:45,850 --> 00:27:46,970 -Why not? -I told you. 540 00:27:47,060 --> 00:27:50,020 He reads to me every night. That's how I fall asleep. 541 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:52,810 Sometimes we diddle first. 542 00:27:53,190 --> 00:27:55,770 If I'm being honest, that's how I fall asleep. 543 00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:59,320 Well... I'm afraid I can't help you with that. 544 00:27:59,860 --> 00:28:01,860 Can't or won't, Grace? 545 00:28:05,370 --> 00:28:07,200 But I'll tell you what I can do. 546 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:14,170 "Online services such as QuickBooks and ZipBooks 547 00:28:14,250 --> 00:28:18,300 can actually take care of all your small business's bookkeeping needs. 548 00:28:18,380 --> 00:28:21,050 They can generate profit and loss reports, 549 00:28:21,130 --> 00:28:23,220 run balance sheets, 550 00:28:23,300 --> 00:28:26,470 even calculate and distribute your monthly payroll. 551 00:28:26,550 --> 00:28:29,220 There's a difference between bookkeeping..." 552 00:28:55,750 --> 00:28:59,170 ♪ Close your eyes ♪ 553 00:29:02,260 --> 00:29:05,680 ♪ Let them rest ♪ 554 00:29:08,220 --> 00:29:11,720 ♪ I ain't in no hurry ♪ 555 00:29:14,020 --> 00:29:16,850 ♪ No hurry at all ♪ 556 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:24,360 ♪ Rest your head ♪ 557 00:29:27,030 --> 00:29:30,370 ♪ On my shoulder ♪ 558 00:29:32,790 --> 00:29:36,420 ♪ I swear I would carry ♪ 559 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,840 ♪ Carry you on ♪ 560 00:29:45,260 --> 00:29:47,800 ♪ I won't let you ♪ 561 00:29:53,310 --> 00:29:57,230 ♪ Worry at all ♪ 562 00:30:03,780 --> 00:30:05,070 [woman] Okay, good night.