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00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:09,217
[Grace Potter's
"Stuck In The Middle" playing]
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00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,099
♪ Well, I don't know
Why I came here tonight ♪
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00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,978
♪ Got the feelin'
That somethin' ain't right ♪
4
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♪ I'm so scared
In case I fall off my chair ♪
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♪ And I'm wondering
How I'll get down the stairs ♪
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00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:31,948
♪ And there's clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right ♪
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♪ Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you ♪
8
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♪ Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you ♪
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♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
10
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So, with my bad hips and... and my knees,
I was totally stuck,
11
00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:52,611
and I realized there must be
a lot of people that are in the same...
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Really make eye contact
with Mr. Wonderful.
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Can I get through this just once
without you interrupting me?
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Oh, yes, of course.
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- Okay.
- I'm sorry. Go.
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00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:06,691
So, then we started talking
to other people,
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- and it turns out that...
- I need you to make love to Mark Cuban.
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You know, I'm gonna throttle you.
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- With your eyes.
- With my hands!
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You're just hangry. Nick should be here
with Indian food any minute.
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How do you know?
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He texted your phone
and asked what you wanted for dinner.
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- [scoffs]
- So I texted back and said Indian.
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- You call him Honeybear, right?
- No.
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- It might be a thing you do now.
- [door opens]
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- Hey, Honeybear.
- [slight chuckle] You're welcome.
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Oh, look, there's Frankie. Still. Again.
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- And always.
- I was sort of hoping
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- I could just have dinner with my wife.
- But she hates Indian, and I ordered it.
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Frankie was just leaving.
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Okay.
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I'm picking up what you're throwing down.
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[grunts] I think your couch
wants me to stay.
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- I think my husband wants you to go.
- [slight grunts]
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All right, fine. I'll take out my takeout.
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But if you forgot the tofu tikka,
I'm gonna...
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Frankie! I'll see you in the morning,
9:00 a.m. sharp.
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Can we make it noon?
You see what I'm gonna eat tonight.
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I definitely forgot the tofu tikka.
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Alexa, lock the door.
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- [Alexa] Okay.
- [door locks]
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And you think that's gonna stop her?
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I'm sorry we've taken over the place.
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Oh, stop worrying.
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You're gonna do great,
and Frankie is made for TV.
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I know. And we just need
one Shark to say yes.
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That's right. Little thing, though,
that one Shark can't be Cuban.
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- I'm sorry?
- Anyone but Mark Cuban.
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I'm gonna grab the plates
and the Zantac. Be right back.
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I don't understand.
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[Nick] Curry doesn't sit well with me.
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No. Why can't I make a deal with Cuban?
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I have a bad history with that guy.
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Some ugly stuff went down between us.
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Rich guy stuff.
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Well, what did he do to you?
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- I don't want to talk about it.
- [scoffs]
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It's actually painful just to think about.
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[scoffs]
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Well, you do realize this would reduce
our chances of funding the Rise Up
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by 20 percent.
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How am I supposed to tell Frankie that?
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And there it is again.
The most important thing is Frankie.
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This is a very big thing for us.
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I've completely accepted Frankie
as part of our marriage.
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I've done everything short
of inviting her into the marital bed.
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Yeah, well, that's good,
'cause she'd probably accept.
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So just once,
could you do something for me...
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for the simple reason that...
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I'm your husband and I'm asking?
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Fine.
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Fine. I promise, I... [deep breath]
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We won't sell to Cuban.
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Thank you, Honeybear.
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Now let's eat this damn Indian food
that neither of us wanted.
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00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:05,161
And now all Sol can talk about
is going on a cruise.
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00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,038
Oh, you can't afford that.
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You gave all that money
to save the theater.
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00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:12,835
I know that, Peter.
And I need it back before he finds out.
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Our limit on spending
without telling each other is $679.
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That precedent was clearly settled
with Sol v. Inflatable Jacuzzi.
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You know, when you really look at it,
this is all Sol's fault.
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He's the one who turned
our community theater benefit
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into a fundraiser for a guy with cancer.
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Oh, you're right. Sol's priorities
are way out of whack.
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Why help a guy with cancer
when you can fund A Chorus Line?
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Robert, you're not right
for A Chorus Line.
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[door opens]
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- Hi, honey.
- Hi, Sol.
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Why do you two look so grim?
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Oh, you know, just two old thespians
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trying to figure out
how to raise the curtain one more time.
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You remember, Sol,
how you ruined our fundraiser?
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But don't you feel good
that we did a wonderful thing
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for a man who was suffering?
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00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,220
- I guess.
- Yeah.
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[Sol] Okay, well,
98
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these will at least cheer up Robert.
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Cruise brochures. [slight chuckle]
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I've whittled it down to three choices,
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00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,526
depending on how much we want to spend.
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Queen of the Sea,
which is super luxury deluxe,
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Sea Chaser,
which is medium luxury deluxe,
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or the Drunken Seahorse,
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which is not deluxe at all, but a boat
that goes to some nice places.
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Ah, the Seahorse. It sounds
like they know how to party.
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Isn't the Seahorse the one
that had an outbreak of botulism
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and several passengers perished at sea?
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This is the one I want to go on, Peter.
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But don't we deserve
the super luxury deluxe?
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As Saroyan said,
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"In the time of your life, live."
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We're all gonna end up
in the ground anyway.
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Like the people who died of botulism.
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I'll call Queen of the Sea
and check availabilities.
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Okay.
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You know what that made me think?
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That I'm gonna put you in the ground?
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Didn't you guys just recently buy
fancy burial plots?
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Last year. It was a very emotional day.
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I'm sure it was. You need to sell them.
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What? Are you insane?
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It's the perfect solution
to this mess Sol's put you in.
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By the time it comes out,
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either he'll be dead and have no idea,
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or you'll be dead
and have no idea how angry he is.
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[gasps]
128
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How come I'm not right for A Chorus Line?
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Oh, Robert.
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[exhales]
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I can't believe how nervous I am.
132
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I've never met a blood relative.
133
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What's the worst that could happen?
134
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He punches you off your bike
and thinks you're fucking his mom?
135
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Less that and more...
136
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what if I hate him?
137
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- [scoffs] What if I like him?
- It'll be fine.
138
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If you hate him,
you'll never have to see him again.
139
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And if you like him, then you've
doubled your friend count.
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Do people call cousins "cuz"?
Is that a thing?
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I don't know, bro.
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Look, let's take the pressure off, okay?
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We'll agree on a safe word.
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And if you're miserable, just say it,
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and I'll come up with an excuse to go.
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Okay, good idea. What's the word?
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- Uh, how about "latte"?
- That's not gonna work.
148
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- Why?
- Because I'm ordering a latte.
149
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Order something else.
150
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I have to change my drink?
Change your safe word.
151
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Fine. Uh... [clears throat]
152
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"Sugar."
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Perfect.
154
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- Hey. Are you my... Jordan?
- You must be Bud.
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- Hey!
- Hi.
156
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- Oh. Hey.
- Uh... Oh, yeah.
157
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- Sorry, that was awkward.
- No, it's okay.
158
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This is my brother, Coyote.
159
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:02,815
Oh, hi. How...?
160
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But not as awkward as that.
161
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Please.
162
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So, uh, this is...
163
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- Yeah. Yeah. It is, isn't it?
- [Jordan chuckles]
164
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So, uh, what made you go
onto YourGeneMap-dot-com?
165
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Uh, actually, my wife did.
166
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:24,253
She thought our daughter might be a genius
and was hoping I'd be related to one.
167
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:29,258
Ah, sorry, I was only third
in my class at Stanford.
168
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Ooh.
169
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,345
- Just kidding, I was first.
- Oh.
170
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Kidding again.
Uh, I didn't go to Stanford.
171
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- Sorry, I'm bad at jokes.
- [chuckles]
172
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Please do not think I'm weird.
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I went to Harvard.
174
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,898
- Oh.
- It's okay. My brother just kissed you.
175
00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:46,859
So, weird is a relative term
in this family.
176
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,904
Anyhoo, why'd you go on the website?
177
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Well, actually,
I have this condition called CKD...
178
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- Oh.
- So I was looking around
179
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,245
for a genetic match...
180
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:02,166
because I kind of need a kidney.
181
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,710
- A what?
- A kidney.
182
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:06,461
Donor.
183
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:11,551
- Wow. Can you pass the sugar?
- [Coyote exhales]
184
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:17,056
I'm so sorry about your kidney, man.
185
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,935
Hey, maybe Bud could give you one.
186
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,983
[gulls squawking]
187
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[Grace clears throat] I, um...
188
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:34,156
So, uh, I... I realized there must be
a lot of other people
189
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,660
in the same exact situation that I was...
190
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[exhales]
191
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:41,122
I-I-I can't pitch like this.
192
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:42,248
Is it the rainstick?
193
00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:44,375
No, it's... it's Sol.
194
00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:47,169
- What are you doing here?
- I'm Mark Cuban.
195
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,755
I thought, based on my performance,
it was pretty obvious.
196
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,924
I plucked him out of obscurity.
197
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,676
Ah, give the kid a chance.
198
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,595
No, no, no!
199
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,639
There is no chance
that Cuban is gonna buy this.
200
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,433
I mean, just forget Cuban.
201
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,143
S... Sol, go home.
202
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:05,313
Actually, in doing my research
for the role of Mark Cuban,
203
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:08,065
I discovered he recently had
a hip replacement.
204
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:09,609
Interesting.
205
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:11,152
Go on, Mark.
206
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:15,948
So, even though my character
isn't the target demo,
207
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:19,619
"I" can relate to why a person
would need this.
208
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:23,039
I knew you were one of those actors
who does research.
209
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,499
Looks like Cuban's our guy, Grace.
210
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:28,294
Bingo-bango, that's our mango. [chuckles]
211
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:29,545
[Sol] Want to hear my offer?
212
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,756
No. No offer.
213
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:36,886
Look, I'm telling you, Barbara Corcoran
is gonna flip for the Rise Up.
214
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,055
I don't know, she's pretty fancy.
215
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,474
She is a New York real estate mogul.
216
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:45,311
Do you know how many toilets she controls
in the Upper East Side alone?
217
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:50,232
I'm gonna concentrate on Barbara.
You concentrate on Lori.
218
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,860
She's a Midwestern city gal,
just like you.
219
00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:54,445
I can work that angle.
220
00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:56,530
[Sol] But what about my hip?
221
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,324
Yeah. What about his hip?
222
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:02,119
I could even use the Rise Up
to get up from my Shark chair.
223
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,080
Ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow!
224
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:06,290
Sol! Overacting.
225
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,459
But he does make a good point
with the hip.
226
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:11,253
Frankie, the women Sharks
are gonna get this.
227
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,798
We have to concentrate on them.
228
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:17,843
As your partner,
I'm asking you to trust me.
229
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:21,055
Okay. You're my partner.
230
00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:23,140
I trust you. [slight chuckle]
231
00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:28,229
[Sol] If you want me,
I'll be in my trailer.
232
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,274
[sizzling]
233
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:36,654
We've been in line for 45 minutes.
No tacos are worth this.
234
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,615
Bud said every bite
is like a sunset in your mouth.
235
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:43,327
He told Faith the same thing
about her strained peas.
236
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:46,914
Oh, here he is.
Just as we're getting close.
237
00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:49,583
You know how you said there was
almost a no-percent chance
238
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,377
- I would be a kidney match?
- Yeah.
239
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,879
Well, you were
very, very, very, very wrong.
240
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,923
- No way.
- Are you serious?
241
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,858
Wait. What are... what are you gonna do?
242
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,219
Well, what choice do I have?
243
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:02,304
Call him up and be like,
"Hey, Jordan, good news.
244
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,725
I'm a match, but I gotta look out
for number one. So best of luck."
245
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:09,645
Hold on. You tell him that you're saving
your spare parts for your family.
246
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:13,232
Allison, if you were sick,
and your cousin could save you,
247
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:16,152
I'd want more than anything
for them to give you a kidney.
248
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:19,155
Why can't he just be like other relatives
and ask for money?
249
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:22,575
Oh, speaking of,
could you spot me ten for the tacos?
250
00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:23,826
[Allison scoffs]
251
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,161
This could only happen to me.
252
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:28,330
The first time I meet a real cousin,
and now I'm down one kidney.
253
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,974
You do realize this means
I can't play contact sports now, right?
254
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:33,502
Is badminton a contact sport?
255
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,755
It gets physical out there.
256
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,341
Were you guys talking
about giving a kidney to someone?
257
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:42,845
- Oh, no, you don't need one too, do you?
- No. No, no, no, no.
258
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:43,929
But that's really cool.
259
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:47,349
Yeah, my sister was saved by
an organ donor who died in a car accident.
260
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,478
I've always wanted to thank him,
but, you know, I-I can't.
261
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,201
So how about I thank you, huh?
Free tacos for you and your friends.
262
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:54,523
Oh, you don't have to do that.
263
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,484
It's the least I can do for a hero.
264
00:12:57,359 --> 00:13:00,362
Wow, he called you a hero.
265
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:01,989
That is a first for me.
266
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:05,493
Hey, hero, uh, I could still use that ten.
267
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:13,542
I'm starting to think
this might be in bad taste.
268
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:17,004
Robert, if you're selling bathing suits,
you go to a pool.
269
00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:19,340
If you're selling grave sites,
you go to a graveyard.
270
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:22,468
Nobody sells anything
at either of those places.
271
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:24,011
Pretend we're listed on Zillow
272
00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:26,806
and treat it
like it's any other real estate.
273
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:29,600
Emphasize the view, the neighborhood,
274
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:32,102
- the excellent school district.
- [exhales]
275
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:35,898
Hi. Can I interest you
in a glass of punch?
276
00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:37,857
Okay.
277
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:43,280
You know, the sunset is
particularly spectacular from this spot.
278
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,199
And the neighbors are...
279
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,868
very quiet.
280
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:51,205
Are you having an open house
for a burial plot?
281
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:52,373
It was his idea!
282
00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:54,542
He stole 20 grand from his husband!
283
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,043
Uh... [scoffs]
284
00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:59,922
All right, so that's a soft yes.
285
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:01,799
This was a horrible idea!
286
00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:04,260
And I never should have let you
talk me into it.
287
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:08,222
Excuse me, we're looking
for the sales office.
288
00:14:08,305 --> 00:14:10,683
You found us. You buying? We're selling.
289
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:13,060
Actually, we're looking for a place
for our mom and dad.
290
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,979
They passed unexpectedly.
291
00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:16,522
They studied bats.
292
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,691
I'm so sorry for your loss.
293
00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:20,317
You are Mr. and Mrs...
294
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,861
- Martinez.
- Martinez.
295
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,904
But we're actually brother and sister.
296
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:26,657
Tell you what, you need two,
we've got two.
297
00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:29,410
Fifty grand, and your parents
are sleeping here tonight.
298
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:32,162
Wow, that's really out of our range.
299
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:34,665
And a little offensive. [nervous chuckle]
300
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:36,917
It is a beautiful spot.
301
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,001
Let's go.
302
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:41,463
- Wait. Please.
- Robert.
303
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:47,678
Nobody buys a car
without walking out of the dealership.
304
00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:50,222
I don't want to make any money
off these people.
305
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,725
And I need a check to clear
before Sol finds out.
306
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:55,019
Man, you've got to get out of sales.
307
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,771
I think we can work something out.
308
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,152
[exhales] Grace, look where we are.
309
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,070
I am so proud of you right now.
310
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:08,073
No, I'm proud of you
for telling your story.
311
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,743
I'm proud of both of you.
You're on in 30 seconds.
312
00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:13,579
Oh, okay, remember,
I got Barbara, you got Lori.
313
00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:14,914
[exhales] Pound it.
314
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,000
Just touch your fist to my fist.
315
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:22,379
[makes explosion sound]
316
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:23,547
[laughs]
317
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:27,509
[Shark Tank theme plays]
318
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,527
Hello, Sharks. I'm Grace Hanson.
319
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:47,196
And I'm Frankie Bergstein.
320
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:51,533
And today, we are seeking
a $200,000 investment
321
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:55,287
in exchange for ten percent equity
in our business.
322
00:15:57,373 --> 00:16:02,211
I've had a knee replacement.
Also, I'm 80 years old.
323
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:05,255
And two months ago, I was home alone,
324
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:08,092
and I couldn't get off the toilet.
325
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,138
- [chuckles]
- I grabbed for the toilet-paper dispenser,
326
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:16,225
- and it broke off.
- [laughs]
327
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:20,354
I mean, it was embarrassing,
and, frankly, dangerous.
328
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:25,317
Luckily, my best friend
and business partner helped me get up.
329
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,695
- [chuckles]
- And so, we realized
330
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:29,738
there must be a lot of people
331
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:33,200
in the same exact situation that I was in.
332
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:36,704
If only there was a...
a sleek, stylish product
333
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:38,664
that could help you get off the toilet
334
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:41,208
without making you feel
you were in a hospital.
335
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:43,167
Well...
336
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:44,837
now there is.
337
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,296
[toilet whirs]
338
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,924
[Sharks laugh]
339
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:53,637
Outstanding!
340
00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,016
[Grace and Frankie] The Rise Up!
341
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,684
- [Barbara] Whoa!
- [applause]
342
00:16:58,767 --> 00:16:59,685
- Love it.
- Fabulous.
343
00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:00,769
[Grace] Thank you.
344
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:04,231
So, Sharks, who's ready
to Rise Up with us?
345
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:06,483
Nice job, ladies.
I have a couple questions.
346
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:09,278
Uh, Mark, I think Lori
was saying something.
347
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:11,447
Me? No, I wasn't talking.
348
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:15,075
- Oh, Barbara, it must have been you.
- Oh, no. I'm out.
349
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:16,160
What?
350
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:21,874
Lori, uh, I don't think you know this,
but I'm also from Detroit.
351
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:25,085
Uh, actually, I'm originally from Chicago.
352
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:28,338
And, ladies, I'm sorry. I'm out, too.
353
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,758
What the hell is happening?
354
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:33,385
[scoffs] Have none of you
seen this miracle?
355
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,221
- [Lori] Yeah.
- Uh, Rohan, Mr. Candy Man.
356
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,057
- You ran Snickers.
- I did.
357
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,934
How much nougat
you gonna put into this baby?
358
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,604
I don't know. It depends
how many units you have in production.
359
00:17:43,687 --> 00:17:47,274
Uh, well, there's this one, and there's
one at my ex-husband's house.
360
00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:50,778
So, just two? There's no nougat for you.
I'm sorry, I'm out.
361
00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:53,363
I still have those questions.
362
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:57,076
Mr. Wonderful, I'm happy
to answer your questions.
363
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,244
Look, I'm sure your ex-husband
just loves it.
364
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:00,913
But look, I love money.
365
00:18:00,996 --> 00:18:05,209
And if I don't have data, I'm not gonna
flush mine down that toilet. I'm out.
366
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,211
Thanks for your input.
367
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,005
Are you all crazy? [exhales]
368
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:13,759
Uh, Cube, uh, you had some questions.
Can I call you Cube?
369
00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:16,512
No. What's your background, ladies?
370
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,056
Oh, we cofounded
a company called Vybrant,
371
00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:24,061
which manufactures vibrators
for women struggling with arthritis.
372
00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:26,563
Wait, you make those?
I'm gonna get back in here.
373
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,525
Yes! Oh, Barbara,
I had a feeling about you.
374
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:33,237
Hello? I'm interested.
I recently had a hip replacement.
375
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,073
Yeah, yeah, we-we know
about the hip. Barbara?
376
00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:37,699
- Yeah?
- Do you have a patent?
377
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:40,383
- Barbara, do you have any questions?
- Yes. Do you have a patent?
378
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:43,539
What a great question.
We are patent pending.
379
00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:45,457
- Great.
- I just asked that.
380
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,960
Barbara, how do you put up
with Mr. Chatty?
381
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:51,380
Uh, could we take a time-out
so I can talk to my partner?
382
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:54,299
- Sure.
- Uh, we'll be right back after this.
383
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:55,550
But...
384
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:57,594
[indistinct chattering]
385
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:06,311
So I meet this guy,
who I never even knew existed,
386
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,313
and he asks me for this huge favor.
387
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:11,692
Now what do I say? I'm all,
"Fuck yeah, man. Whatever you need."
388
00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:13,694
And he's all, "Even if it's a kidney?"
389
00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:15,696
And I'm all,
"Especially if it's a kidney."
390
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:16,780
[group chuckles]
391
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,699
That's intense. What did your wife say?
392
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,410
Well, obviously, she was concerned.
393
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:22,953
Who can blame her?
394
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,330
But I said to her,
"When our daughter grows up,
395
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,166
I want her to know two things:
396
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,750
Her Daddy's a hero,
397
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,044
and her shrimp allergies come from Mommy."
398
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,379
[laughter]
399
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,173
Hey, Jordan!
400
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:36,508
Oh, man. I always wanted
to come to this place,
401
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,468
but I don't want to stand in that line.
402
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:41,680
No, no, no, no, no. Lines are not
for kidney givers or kidney getters.
403
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:45,309
- We're celebrities here. Mostly me.
- [chuckles]
404
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:49,229
Hey, Miguel!
Can you get an al pastor for my cousin?
405
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:50,814
Oh, my God, this is so beautiful.
406
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,734
The long-lost cousins.
Hey, I'll bring the tacos to you.
407
00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:54,902
Thank you.
408
00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:57,905
Uh, Bud, I've kind of got to talk to you.
409
00:19:57,988 --> 00:20:00,073
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Okay. All right. Uh...
410
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:02,534
Um...
411
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:07,122
Don't be shy.
I'm about to have my organ inside you.
412
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,792
Well, it's good news, actually.
413
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,419
Another kidney became available.
414
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:14,713
It turns out it's a better match.
415
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:16,381
I'm sorry, what?
416
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,634
It means that you don't have
to give me your kidney.
417
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:19,717
But I want to.
418
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:21,678
You can't.
419
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:25,057
You realize the polite thing to do
is reject a kidney after it's in you.
420
00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:26,141
I thought you'd be happy.
421
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,977
It's just that you give me
this great gift, and now you take it back?
422
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:34,191
But don't you feel relieved?
You get to keep your kidney.
423
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,736
[exhales] It's just...
424
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:41,448
I've always been the guy
that would need a kidney, not give one.
425
00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:45,702
I guess I really liked being
this other guy for a couple of days.
426
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:46,787
Bud...
427
00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,415
you're not that guy
for just a couple of days.
428
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,417
You are that guy.
429
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:55,629
Yeah, but from now on,
you wait in line, hmm?
430
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:58,966
But... You heard all of that?
431
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,049
[Miguel] Yep.
432
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:02,594
You're treating Cuban like dirt.
433
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:05,430
You're interrupting him
every time he speaks.
434
00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:08,100
Yeah, I know, I know.
But I'm telling you...
435
00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:09,643
And I am digging it.
436
00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:11,270
It's working perfectly.
437
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,855
He's eating out of the palm of your hand.
438
00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:17,109
- He is?
- I need you to go at him even harder.
439
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:20,779
- What?
- Sol told me Cuban hates suck-ups.
440
00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:23,657
You've got him looking for your approval.
441
00:21:23,740 --> 00:21:26,868
Yeah, but see,
I've got Barbara on the hook.
442
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,578
She is our whale.
443
00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:30,789
That would be great
if we were on Whale Tank.
444
00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:32,958
Cuban is our Shark.
445
00:21:33,041 --> 00:21:34,668
- [bell rings]
- [man] Time's up.
446
00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:38,964
Now, I need you to go out there
and be a real jerk to him.
447
00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:44,970
[toilet flushes]
448
00:21:45,053 --> 00:21:46,138
[door opens]
449
00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:48,348
[door closes]
450
00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:50,434
That toilet is a hell of a thing.
451
00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:52,311
Please. I'm obsessed.
452
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:53,520
What are you doing?
453
00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:56,481
Just checking our bank balance.
454
00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:58,233
Uh-huh.
455
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,360
I've been thinking a lot about the cruise,
456
00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:02,863
and I just wanted to make sure
it was sensible.
457
00:22:02,946 --> 00:22:03,946
And is it?
458
00:22:05,907 --> 00:22:07,951
It's definitely sensible.
459
00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:09,703
Oh, thank God. [chuckles]
460
00:22:09,786 --> 00:22:11,955
It's about time we had this honeymoon.
461
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:14,750
Of course. And now that we know
we've got the money,
462
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:18,670
let's book the super luxury deluxe
and sail around the Greek islands.
463
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:20,464
[chuckles] Europe?
464
00:22:20,547 --> 00:22:22,299
Yes! We deserve it.
465
00:22:22,799 --> 00:22:24,468
[doorbell rings]
466
00:22:24,551 --> 00:22:26,261
Oh, my God.
467
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:28,638
- Oh, my God.
- Yes!
468
00:22:35,812 --> 00:22:36,897
[exhales]
469
00:22:42,402 --> 00:22:43,278
Who's that for?
470
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,447
- Us, apparently.
- [door closes]
471
00:22:46,114 --> 00:22:47,324
Oh, God.
472
00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:50,452
I begged Sidney not to do this.
473
00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:54,706
He told me he wanted to get us something
for all the money we raised for him.
474
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:55,916
You deserve it, Sol.
475
00:22:55,999 --> 00:22:58,835
And, frankly, so do I.
Now let's dig into these goodies.
476
00:23:00,670 --> 00:23:02,255
Oh, wait. It's addressed to you.
477
00:23:02,964 --> 00:23:04,424
Who are the Martinezes?
478
00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:11,306
"It's so good to know our beloved parents
will rest in peace.
479
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:16,228
Thank you again for selling us
your beautiful burial plots."
480
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:20,732
[muffled] That could mean anything.
481
00:23:26,154 --> 00:23:27,572
First of all, Mark...
482
00:23:29,032 --> 00:23:31,743
I never meant
to be dismissive of you earlier.
483
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:36,039
I think what you have accomplished
484
00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:39,626
as a buyer of basketball teams is...
485
00:23:40,293 --> 00:23:44,047
I mean, really, God,
all those championships.
486
00:23:44,631 --> 00:23:45,841
One, actually.
487
00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:48,218
But it was the best one, right?
488
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:53,890
I gotta be honest.
I don't know what to make of you.
489
00:23:57,894 --> 00:23:59,771
And that has me leaning in.
490
00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:02,232
I'm gonna make you an offer.
491
00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:04,234
- You are?
- He is.
492
00:24:04,734 --> 00:24:08,113
I see Rise Up helping millions of people.
493
00:24:08,613 --> 00:24:11,658
I'm gonna give you
exactly what you asked for,
494
00:24:11,741 --> 00:24:15,996
$200,000 for ten percent.
495
00:24:17,164 --> 00:24:20,208
- Barbara, can you do better than that?
- No, I'm afraid I can't.
496
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:21,501
Can you do worse than that?
497
00:24:21,585 --> 00:24:23,420
Yes, I certainly can. I'm out.
498
00:24:23,503 --> 00:24:27,340
Well, then, that's it.
Bring it home, big boy.
499
00:24:27,424 --> 00:24:28,467
So we have a deal?
500
00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:30,635
- Yes, we do, partner.
- Uh...
501
00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:33,305
- Great.
- No, no, no, we don't.
502
00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:36,766
I am really sorry.
503
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:39,936
I can't accept this deal.
504
00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:42,814
- What?
- [Barbara] What? Could you believe this?
505
00:24:42,898 --> 00:24:45,358
- What?
- I'm sorry, we're out.
506
00:24:45,442 --> 00:24:46,276
- [Mark] What?
- Out?
507
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:47,759
- [Lori] Wow.
- [Mr. Wonderful] Ooh.
508
00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:52,157
What the hell did you just do?
509
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,409
Oh, Frankie, I'm sure
we're gonna find somebody else...
510
00:24:54,493 --> 00:24:57,621
Oh! Oh, no.
No, we have somebody. Mark Cuban.
511
00:24:57,704 --> 00:25:00,916
I think you need to go out there right now
and... and tell him yes.
512
00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:03,168
Well, they're just about
to start the next pitch.
513
00:25:03,251 --> 00:25:05,378
It's for a Frisbee purse.
514
00:25:05,462 --> 00:25:07,214
I don't care how brilliant the idea is...
515
00:25:07,297 --> 00:25:09,633
We can't make a deal with Cuban.
516
00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:11,301
Why not?
517
00:25:11,384 --> 00:25:14,179
Because Nick asked me not to.
518
00:25:14,262 --> 00:25:16,473
What has Nick got to do with any of this?
519
00:25:16,556 --> 00:25:18,725
Cuban did something really bad to him.
520
00:25:18,808 --> 00:25:20,101
What did he do?
521
00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:21,561
Uh, that I don't know.
522
00:25:21,645 --> 00:25:23,980
Well, in that case,
523
00:25:24,064 --> 00:25:28,360
I totally understand
why you blew our deal.
524
00:25:28,443 --> 00:25:31,154
Frankie, Nick asked me
to do this one thing for him,
525
00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:32,364
and he's my husband.
526
00:25:32,447 --> 00:25:35,867
And I'm your partner.
Why didn't you tell me?
527
00:25:35,951 --> 00:25:37,911
Well, because I thought
we'd sell to somebody else
528
00:25:37,994 --> 00:25:39,634
and never have to have this conversation.
529
00:25:39,663 --> 00:25:43,875
The other day, you asked me to trust you,
and I did because it was you.
530
00:25:43,959 --> 00:25:45,252
But you were lying.
531
00:25:45,335 --> 00:25:49,089
Frankie, I did something I had to do
for my marriage.
532
00:25:49,172 --> 00:25:50,632
At the expense of us.
533
00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:52,050
I'm sorry.
534
00:25:52,133 --> 00:25:55,428
You just threw away
everything we worked for.
535
00:25:55,512 --> 00:25:56,513
Frankie.
536
00:25:56,596 --> 00:25:58,056
You betrayed me.
537
00:25:58,598 --> 00:26:02,102
- [exhales]
- But you know who I feel worse for?
538
00:26:02,185 --> 00:26:03,186
You.
539
00:26:03,603 --> 00:26:05,772
Because you betrayed yourself.
540
00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:08,858
And now... [sniffles]
541
00:26:09,484 --> 00:26:10,860
I'm out.
542
00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:13,655
["Incoming" by Greg Felden plays]
543
00:26:14,698 --> 00:26:15,865
[sniffles]
544
00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:18,076
[exhales]
545
00:26:24,874 --> 00:26:28,295
♪ Hits you when you least expect ♪
546
00:26:30,088 --> 00:26:31,423
[bell rings]
547
00:26:31,506 --> 00:26:34,551
♪ You wake up, your life's a wreck ♪
548
00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:41,224
♪ No one told you, "Hit the deck" ♪
549
00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:44,936
♪ Incoming ♪
550
00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:47,856
♪ No one told you, "Hit the deck" ♪
551
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:54,613
♪ It starts falling from the sky ♪
552
00:26:58,199 --> 00:27:01,411
♪ Eighty tons and eight miles wide ♪
553
00:27:04,831 --> 00:27:08,001
♪ Does no good to go inside ♪
554
00:27:08,752 --> 00:27:11,296
♪ It keeps coming ♪
555
00:27:11,379 --> 00:27:14,883
♪ It does no good to go inside ♪
556
00:27:17,802 --> 00:27:21,097
♪ But you are still a friend of mine ♪
557
00:27:21,181 --> 00:27:24,517
♪ Even if we have not spoken ♪
558
00:27:24,601 --> 00:27:27,937
♪ I have looked into your eyes ♪
559
00:27:28,021 --> 00:27:30,940
♪ Through the laughter and the smoke ♪
560
00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:33,693
♪ I will curse the skies for you ♪
561
00:27:34,444 --> 00:27:37,530
♪ If it's all that I can do ♪
562
00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:40,992
♪ Maybe somehow I'll be there ♪
563
00:27:42,577 --> 00:27:43,828
[woman] Okay, good night!