1 00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,926 You outdid yourself, Grace. 2 00:00:50,510 --> 00:00:54,263 That tofu parmigiana was spectacular. 3 00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:57,225 -What is your secret? -Chicken. 4 00:00:57,308 --> 00:00:59,685 Thank you for a wonderful dinner. 5 00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:02,897 After you saved us from the wrath of your insurance company, 6 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,607 it's the least we could do. 7 00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:07,735 I won't feel guilty taking the last few bites. 8 00:01:07,819 --> 00:01:10,822 Oh, no, no, no, I was saving that for the cats. 9 00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:14,158 -We don't have cats. -We will if I leave this outside. 10 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,285 Can I borrow your charger, Grace? 11 00:01:16,369 --> 00:01:18,746 Your phone is at 87%. 12 00:01:18,830 --> 00:01:20,289 What's wrong with my charger? 13 00:01:20,373 --> 00:01:22,125 My charger is your charger. 14 00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:24,752 Oh. Can I use it after Sol's done? 15 00:01:24,836 --> 00:01:25,795 Incoming! 16 00:01:28,798 --> 00:01:29,632 Well... 17 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,219 I don't wanna seem ungrateful, 18 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:36,806 but don't you think you should wash the casserole dish? 19 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:39,433 You always re-washed the dishes when I washed them, 20 00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:41,936 so I figured I'd just skip that step. 21 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:44,564 Aren't you gays supposed to be a tidy bunch? 22 00:01:44,647 --> 00:01:46,524 When someone makes a thank-you meal, 23 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:49,277 it seems like the "thank you" should include cleaning up. 24 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,613 We did clean up. This is a whole new shebang. 25 00:01:52,697 --> 00:01:54,615 Fine. I'll wash it. 26 00:01:54,699 --> 00:01:56,117 Oh, well, thank you. 27 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:01,998 Just gonna let it soak. 28 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:14,010 Oh, that motherfucker. 29 00:02:14,093 --> 00:02:17,305 He slid another plate under the casserole dish. 30 00:02:17,388 --> 00:02:20,600 -Be strong. -One squirt. 31 00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:23,227 -Give me that. -No. That's how it starts. 32 00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:24,770 With just a squirt. 33 00:02:24,854 --> 00:02:26,939 Before you know it, another squirt. 34 00:02:27,023 --> 00:02:30,735 Then here a squirt, there a squirt, everywhere a squirt-squirt. 35 00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,905 -You sound like a dirty nursery rhyme. -Hmm. 36 00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:38,659 Oh, my God, Grace. Don't panic. 37 00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:41,329 But you're old. Your roots are showing. 38 00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:42,330 Yeah, Frankie. 39 00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:45,124 That's what happens when you stop dyeing your hair. 40 00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:47,293 How Frankie Bergstein of you. 41 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:49,462 You are Grace Hanson, are you not? 42 00:02:49,545 --> 00:02:51,047 That's exactly the point. 43 00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:52,632 This is who I really am. 44 00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:53,966 Since when? 45 00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:58,387 Since I stopped letting the color of my hair dictate how young or old I feel. 46 00:02:58,471 --> 00:03:00,223 So no more facelifts either? 47 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,099 TBD. 48 00:03:04,477 --> 00:03:05,728 Oh, God. 49 00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:11,609 My phone is at 4%. That inconsiderate Muppet unplugged it. 50 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,653 Let's see if he washes that. 51 00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:19,492 -So where are you going? -To my happy place. 52 00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:20,409 Prison. 53 00:03:20,493 --> 00:03:23,829 You are the only person I know who escapes into prison. 54 00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:27,166 I love prison. It's totally changed my relationship with Nick. 55 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:29,877 He's always happy to see me, and if he starts to annoy me, 56 00:03:29,961 --> 00:03:33,172 I just yell, "Guard!" and they whisk him away. 57 00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:36,217 I'm wondering, maybe that would work for Robert and Sol. 58 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,301 Guard! 59 00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:41,264 I know, Dad. 60 00:03:41,806 --> 00:03:42,723 It sucks, Dad. 61 00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:47,478 Speak to you about it in 20 minutes when you call again, Dad. 62 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:50,523 Who you talking to? 63 00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:55,236 He calls at 20 and 40 past the hour to complain about my mother. 64 00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:57,238 Then she calls, and by the time she's done, 65 00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:59,699 -it's time for him to call. -You know, 66 00:03:59,782 --> 00:04:02,410 the doctor says less stress means less eczema. 67 00:04:02,994 --> 00:04:06,455 -You should stop answering your phone. -I know, I know. 68 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,791 I know. 69 00:04:09,709 --> 00:04:12,586 We'll surprise them with a Wiffle Waffle brunch. 70 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:13,587 Wiffle Waffle what? 71 00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:16,549 Wiffle Waffle brunch is an ancient Bergstein-Hanson tradition 72 00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:18,384 dating back to the late '90s. 73 00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:21,470 Your family has more brunches than any family in history. 74 00:04:21,554 --> 00:04:23,806 Wiffle Waffle brunch is no ordinary brunch. 75 00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:26,684 Everybody gets jacked up on syrup, they'll remember how much 76 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,936 they love each other, all beefs get squashed, 77 00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:30,771 everybody stops calling Bud. 78 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,194 Hi, Mom. 79 00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:39,822 I know, Mom. 80 00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:42,408 It sucks, Mom. 81 00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:45,328 That last house. Ooh! 82 00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:46,454 That was the one. 83 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,748 Like the house from Up, right? 84 00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:52,293 And that retro avocado kitchen and picket fence 85 00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:54,670 and yellow front door? 86 00:04:55,421 --> 00:04:57,131 Yellow is for happy people. 87 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,759 And two schools right in the neighborhood. 88 00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:01,510 You know what that means, right? 89 00:05:01,594 --> 00:05:03,512 -Sex offenders. -Families. 90 00:05:03,596 --> 00:05:06,515 Come on, Brianna. Look, I love that house. 91 00:05:06,599 --> 00:05:08,559 You've been rejecting everything. 92 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:11,187 -Are we seriously looking for a house? -Yes. 93 00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:15,191 I just don't wanna live in a place where you have neighbors 94 00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:19,695 and sidewalks and mailmen and... 95 00:05:19,779 --> 00:05:21,155 neighbors. 96 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:22,406 Like a bunker? 97 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,075 That sounds good, right? 98 00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,117 No. 99 00:05:25,618 --> 00:05:28,496 I like talking to Fred. 100 00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,623 -Who the hell is Fred? -He's our mailman. 101 00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:33,417 -The guy in shorts and the safari hat? -Oh, God. 102 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,503 I don't know how to explain this, 103 00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:39,548 but wherever we move to, our mail's gonna be delivered by someone. 104 00:05:39,632 --> 00:05:40,508 So... 105 00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:43,511 will you please go back to that house after brunch 106 00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:45,096 and give it another look? 107 00:05:47,056 --> 00:05:48,891 -Fine. -Thank you. 108 00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,894 If you tell Fred to put on some pants. 109 00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:58,692 What's happening? What's happening? 110 00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,903 Where are all my Ray Donovans? 111 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:03,823 You were out of storage space, so I cleaned them up. 112 00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:07,034 You don't do the cleaning up, that's Ray's job! 113 00:06:07,118 --> 00:06:09,495 And stop eating my Abba-Zabas. 114 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:10,746 You have 8 million boxes. 115 00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:14,667 If you want some, put on a costume and see me October 31st. 116 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:19,380 No, no, no! Stop that dog! 117 00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:21,924 -Who's my strong, little boy? 118 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,552 That's my Jerry Garcia sneaker! 119 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:27,972 -Frankie, I'm back from the slammer. 120 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:29,932 Anhalten! 121 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:33,602 Stick your finger up his butt. His mouth will release! 122 00:06:33,686 --> 00:06:36,605 What else might release is what I'm worried about. 123 00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:41,652 Robert, why is your minor-league theater trinket where my ship should be? 124 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:46,157 Grace, the Tappy is one of the theater's most coveted awards. 125 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,617 -It's a painted shoe. -You're just jealous. 126 00:06:48,701 --> 00:06:49,785 What have you ever won? 127 00:06:49,869 --> 00:06:51,120 This house. 128 00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:53,247 -Do something! -Does Carl want a treat? 129 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,332 -Robert does. -Give him your shoe. 130 00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:56,667 This should work. 131 00:06:56,750 --> 00:07:00,421 -These are my best Huaraches. -For God's sake, let him have this. 132 00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:01,964 Grace, no! 133 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,507 -Surprise! -Fetch! 134 00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,342 No! My Tappy! 135 00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:07,094 -What's that? -What the hell? 136 00:07:07,178 --> 00:07:08,637 Get back here! 137 00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:10,389 Guys, what's going on? 138 00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:12,224 What are you doing here? 139 00:07:12,308 --> 00:07:13,392 We brought brunch! 140 00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:15,352 Leave it in the kitchen on your way out. 141 00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:17,771 Bud, okay, let's listen to your mother. 142 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:21,108 I listen to her complain all day. That's why we're here. 143 00:07:21,192 --> 00:07:22,735 Today is all about family. 144 00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:25,571 Hey, the butt thing worked! 145 00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:34,497 Would anyone mind if I wash this dish or make a call? 146 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:37,500 No. Mom told me not to let anyone touch that dish 147 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:40,002 -or she'll cast a spell on you. -She's powerful too. 148 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:41,337 She turned me into a bitch. 149 00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:43,964 Since I'm the newcomer, what's the oral history 150 00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:46,550 -on a Wiffle Waffle brunch? -Good question. 151 00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:49,261 -And thanks for caring. -Stop caring. 152 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:53,933 The tradition started when we were kids. We'd, uh, have waffles together, 153 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:56,185 and then we'd all play wiffle ball on the beach. 154 00:07:56,268 --> 00:08:00,981 But in the third inning of the first game, my mom accidentally hit their mom 155 00:08:01,065 --> 00:08:02,650 over the head with the wiffle bat. 156 00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:05,986 -It was a disaster. -Far from it. 157 00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:08,739 The bat was light, and Mom's turban was thick. 158 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:11,200 So we're not playing wiffle ball? 159 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,036 No, Wiffle Waffle isn't about the wiffle anymore, Barry. 160 00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,329 Why'd I bring my cleats? 161 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:18,582 The important thing is, you brought your enthusiasm. 162 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,376 We're gonna need it. 163 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:24,964 Because today is about being there for one another. 164 00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:27,424 And everyone getting off my back. 165 00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:30,844 I'm confused. Why did the families always have brunch if Grace and Frankie 166 00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:33,764 -couldn't stand each other? -The dads wanted us to be together 167 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,058 at least one Sunday a month. So after waffles, 168 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,310 they would go and work on their model airplanes. 169 00:08:38,394 --> 00:08:39,562 I didn't know that. 170 00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:41,480 -Did you ever work on it with them? -No. 171 00:08:41,981 --> 00:08:44,733 In fact, I never even saw a model airplane. 172 00:08:44,817 --> 00:08:45,901 They were boning. 173 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,904 Do I have to explain everything? 174 00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:52,866 Are there even waffles? 175 00:08:58,581 --> 00:08:59,415 Hi. 176 00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:01,041 -Hey, Dad. -There she is. 177 00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:02,793 My new favorite gal. 178 00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,255 With one of my sons. 179 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,090 Aw, your favorite son. 180 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,217 My favorite white son. 181 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:11,885 Hey, Coyote. 182 00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:13,554 Hey, Bud's ex. 183 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:16,015 Oh. Hey, Rihanna. 184 00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:18,475 Well done. 185 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:19,977 Game recognizes game. 186 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,938 So tell me, tell me: Did you get the house? 187 00:09:23,022 --> 00:09:25,649 -What house? -Doesn't matter. We lost it. 188 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:26,817 It was perfect. 189 00:09:27,318 --> 00:09:32,823 This little cottage with this cute stone walkway and this picket fence. 190 00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,952 -Sorry. I-- -Better get him some tissues 191 00:09:37,036 --> 00:09:39,622 -before he uses a waffle. -I think I used all the tissues 192 00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:42,041 to clean my finger, but I'll check. 193 00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:46,837 Hey, so, bummer, big bums about the house. 194 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:52,968 But you know what they say, when one door closes, a yellow door opens. 195 00:09:53,052 --> 00:09:54,637 I don't think that's the saying. 196 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,013 No, she's right. 197 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,390 -Just look. 198 00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:01,769 Wow, it's adorable. 199 00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:04,480 -Are you guys making an offer? -I wish. 200 00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,732 -Barry hates it. -What? Why? 201 00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:09,777 -It's like the house from Up. -That's what I said. 202 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,779 It even has a picket fence. 203 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,781 You know Barry. He hates fences. 204 00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:15,574 Anyhoo. 205 00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,326 I'll text you the listing. 206 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,703 But don't bring it up at brunch. 207 00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:25,125 If I keep talking about it, Coyote's not gonna be the only one crying. 208 00:10:35,386 --> 00:10:37,304 I'm glad we're all here. 209 00:10:37,388 --> 00:10:40,057 I'm bummed that Mallory didn't wanna Skype in 210 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,308 from San Francisco, but-- 211 00:10:41,392 --> 00:10:43,352 I didn't know being Skyped in was an option. 212 00:10:43,435 --> 00:10:44,645 Here we are. 213 00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:50,359 So our first Wiffle Waffle brunch since our last Wiffle Waffle brunch. 214 00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:53,362 Who wants to share their favorite Wiffle Waffle memory? 215 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,282 This one's my favorite. So far. 216 00:10:57,366 --> 00:11:01,578 Come on, everybody, memories! Don't be shy. 217 00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:02,663 Mom? 218 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,540 Nothing comes to mind. 219 00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,625 -Mom, please? -Fine. 220 00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,962 I remember when Robert choked on a kiwi 221 00:11:10,045 --> 00:11:13,173 and Grace had to Heimlich him by throwing him over a chair. 222 00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:14,425 And broke my rib. 223 00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:15,968 And broke my chair. 224 00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,886 Classic. 225 00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:20,264 -Ooh, I've got a funny one. -No, you don't. 226 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,432 No, you don't. 227 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:22,599 Sure I do. 228 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:26,019 Remember that time that that seagull went after Dad's eyebrows? 229 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:27,688 That was funny. 230 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:30,816 -See, that's a chuckle from Grace. -Grace always laughs at my pain. 231 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:32,943 Who else? 232 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,654 Okay, me again. 233 00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:39,199 Ooh. Yes, remember when Coyote was super on drugs 234 00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:41,160 and put his hands in the waffle batter? 235 00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:44,830 Remember the time Coyote was super on drugs 236 00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,040 and went to the wrong house and ate their waffles? 237 00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:51,086 Remember the time that the whale exploded 238 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:53,797 and Coyote was covered in blubber bits? 239 00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:57,593 I don't remember any of that. 240 00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,511 Probably 'cause you were on drugs. 241 00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:02,055 -I remember when Grace killed Bud's-- -Ah! Robert. 242 00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:06,477 --spirit. 243 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:10,022 -Isn't that every brunch? -I have an un-killable spirit. 244 00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:11,815 -Ask Allison. -He's very good in bed. 245 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:12,900 Take that, Grace. 246 00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:16,779 Wait. Can we go back to the "Mom killed something" story? 247 00:12:16,862 --> 00:12:19,990 -I'm killing this conversation right now. -You had to be there. 248 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,326 No fair. Uh-uh. You already started. 249 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:23,702 Yeah, tell us. 250 00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:27,998 It has been a long time, 251 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,375 and there is a statute of limitations, right? 252 00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:31,376 Oh, dear God. 253 00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:34,546 I am leaning in. 254 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:37,549 It must have been 25 years ago. 255 00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:39,176 It was nothing, really. 256 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,303 -Just a little incident. -Accident. 257 00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:42,971 A little accident. 258 00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:48,644 It all started when we got to the beach house that day 259 00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:52,397 and Grace stepped in a little of Bud's Bunny's poop. 260 00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:55,859 It was no big deal. 261 00:12:56,485 --> 00:13:03,158 You stupid, fucking, disgusting, dirty, poop-everywhere rabbit! 262 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:10,666 Robert! Rob-- Robert! 263 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,170 Dear Lord, Grace. 264 00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:17,339 What have you done? 265 00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:19,758 You killed Bud's Bunny? 266 00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,844 I yelled at it a little... 267 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,179 -bit. -You yelled it to death. 268 00:13:24,263 --> 00:13:25,806 Can you yell something to death? 269 00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:26,932 I don't think so. 270 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,059 -My dad's still alive. -No, it's a real thing. 271 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,519 I lost a bird that way. 272 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:32,896 Miss you, Chick Jagger. 273 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,649 You are a murderer, Grace. 274 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:38,610 -Guard! -Your hands aren't clean either. 275 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,239 You lied to me about what happened. 276 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,284 We couldn't find the bunny. We had to tell you something. 277 00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:49,955 Bud, you should also know, you're not their biological child. 278 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:54,418 You told me my prowess as a magician made that bunny disappear. 279 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,003 I made the bunny disappear. 280 00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:04,845 No body, no conviction. 281 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:08,307 -What'd you do with--? -Let's just say, it's good it's high tide. 282 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:12,936 We looked for that poor bunny all day. 283 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,939 -And you helped us. -I had to commit. 284 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:16,899 I'm an actor. 285 00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:19,026 Yeah, you're a regular Jessica Chastain. 286 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:23,614 And you, you stood there and watched us lie to our son. 287 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,657 That's not on us. That's on you. 288 00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:29,161 We never told you to make your son think he was David Copperfield. 289 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:33,832 He needed something to fill the void after he got cut from cheer squad. 290 00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:35,834 You try being the bottom of the pyramid. 291 00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:40,047 I can't believe, after all these years, you've never owned up to it. 292 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:43,050 In my defense, I didn't want to. 293 00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:46,553 Is this the togetherness you were longing for? 294 00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:49,848 Wait. When we got back to the beach house that day, 295 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:52,351 you two weren't even here yet. 296 00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:55,687 -How was that possible? -Let it go, Sol. 297 00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:58,190 It's not like it was the cover-up of the century. 298 00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:02,736 What we need here is the cover-up of the century. 299 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:06,406 Oh, I know. 300 00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:07,991 Give me the rabbit poop. 301 00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:08,909 What? 302 00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:12,537 What are you doing? I just cleaned that. 303 00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:15,207 I'm making it look like Bud's Bunny made a run for it. 304 00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,167 In that case, my heart thanks you 305 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,920 for leaving a trail of shit through my house, 306 00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:21,755 but my mouth refuses to. 307 00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:27,469 Okay, we gotta hightail it out of here before they get back. 308 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,680 -Yeah. -We need to split up and rendezvous 309 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,640 at Starbucks to get our story straight. 310 00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:34,351 -We took one car. -You walk. 311 00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:39,731 So you stayed at Starbucks until you were sure we were back 312 00:15:39,815 --> 00:15:41,191 at the beach house. 313 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:44,945 And then you came in after us so you'd look innocent. 314 00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:48,240 -Genius, right? -This is worse than Watergate. 315 00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:49,533 The premeditation. 316 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,536 -The planning. -You didn't even bring us coffee. 317 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:58,166 -I've got to say, I am shocked to my core. -Are family brunches always like this? 318 00:15:58,250 --> 00:16:00,043 It's been my experience, yes. 319 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,170 -Stop scratching. -I can't. 320 00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,048 I told every girl I met up until the age of 25 321 00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:07,509 that I really made a rabbit disappear. 322 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:10,887 Actually, you were 33 when you told me. 323 00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:13,515 This lie changed the course of my whole life. 324 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,893 I only went to magic camp because I thought I had 325 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,271 extraordinary talent. But my heart wasn't in it. 326 00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:22,274 I wanted to go to the stand-up comedy camp like the cool kids. 327 00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:24,985 On the bright side, you became a successful divorce lawyer. 328 00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:27,946 Great. Now I make people cry instead of laugh. 329 00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:29,239 I laugh at you. 330 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:33,243 My way less funny friend, John Mulaney, went to that stand-up camp, 331 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,579 -and look where he is now. -I'm sorry. 332 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,080 What we did was wrong. 333 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,249 And there's no excuse. 334 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,585 But I do have an excuse. 335 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,880 Robert and I only had one day to enjoy the beach house. 336 00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:47,007 Why would you have only one day? 337 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:51,261 We had to clear out so you could have your big M'Challah celebration. 338 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:56,266 And we did not wanna ruin your M'Challah. Am I still pronouncing it wrong? 339 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,393 -It's a little more phlegmy. -M'Challah. 340 00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:00,645 Yeah. 341 00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,647 I'm sorry. What's M'Challah? 342 00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:04,357 Uh, it's, uh... 343 00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:09,154 -It's a Jewish holiday. -I'm Jewish. I've never heard of it. 344 00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:13,867 It's a lesser-known holiday that moves around the Jewish calendar. 345 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,661 I was so jealous of Bud and Coyote. It always seemed to fall 346 00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:20,040 -on Presidential Fitness Day at school. -It also landed when we had to do 347 00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:23,293 our quarterly taxes. And once when we got that audit. 348 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,797 It's weird 'cause M'Challah always landed on my birthday. 349 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:30,717 I just Googled it. The only thing that comes up is a bar in Puerto Rico. 350 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,640 Oh, my God. You made it up. 351 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:41,436 You made up a holiday to get out of doing stuff with us for years. 352 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,272 No, that does not sound like us. 353 00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:47,484 Do you know how many judges and opposing lawyers 354 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:50,862 -I wished a "happy M'Challah"? -I'm gonna go wash that casserole dish. 355 00:17:50,946 --> 00:17:51,988 Sit down. 356 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,992 Hold on. Are you telling me M'Challah isn't real? 357 00:17:56,368 --> 00:17:58,203 -It's the celebration of bread! -Yeah. 358 00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:02,415 We prayed, lit candles, then broke fast with M'Challah challah. 359 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,460 Okay, fine. We made it up. 360 00:18:05,544 --> 00:18:09,714 -But all families make up holidays. -No families make up holidays. 361 00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:11,341 -Yes, they do. -No, they don't. 362 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:15,887 This is insane. I refused to take the bar exam because it fell on M'Challah. 363 00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:17,848 Let's be honest. You weren't ready. 364 00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,350 Is this why I was kicked out of Hebrew school? 365 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,770 -Because I insisted there was M'Challah? -Hebrew school, yes. 366 00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:25,230 Third grade, no. 367 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,860 Well, well, well. 368 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:33,864 -Isn't this an interesting turn of events? -Oh, no. 369 00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:36,658 Our thing isn't nearly as bad as your thing. 370 00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:40,912 Oh, my penis! My penis! My penis! 371 00:18:40,996 --> 00:18:42,831 His thing seems way worse than your things. 372 00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:44,791 -Are you okay? -Does he seem okay? 373 00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:48,253 -His penis is bothering him. -Forget me, you guys keep having fun. 374 00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:51,506 -We're going home. Goodbye, everyone. 375 00:18:51,590 --> 00:18:53,967 I gotta go. 376 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,845 Why can't you get a pain in your penis so I can leave? 377 00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:58,722 I have a hemorrhoid. Want me to announce that? 378 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,932 -Guess what. The realtor texted us. 379 00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:03,476 We can look at that house with the yellow door. 380 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,103 -Unless you wanna stay. -Nope. I'm good. 381 00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:12,277 You told them about the house? 382 00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:13,904 Did I? 383 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:22,162 Men, am I right? 384 00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:41,681 Don't suppose now is a good time to talk about who's cleaning up? 385 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:53,235 I know you're pissed, but you just sped through a yellow light. 386 00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:55,862 -Like you sped through a yellow door. -I'm sorry. 387 00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:58,823 I shouldn't have gone behind your back. I just hated that house. 388 00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:00,700 You promised me we'd go back! 389 00:20:00,784 --> 00:20:01,910 We still can. 390 00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:04,204 I know that when you say you're open, 391 00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,206 you mean you're not really open. 392 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:09,292 Hello, I'm Brianna. 393 00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:14,256 Look... 394 00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:18,885 I'm sorry. I'm just really attached to my house. 395 00:20:18,969 --> 00:20:24,140 I always thought one day, God willing, the authorities would find my body there. 396 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:28,395 Hello, I'm Barry, and don't I deserve to be found dead in a place of my own too? 397 00:20:28,478 --> 00:20:33,984 But I like modern, and you like anything that's not good. 398 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:38,822 So we need to land somewhere between "anything that's not good" and modern. 399 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,199 Okay. I can compromise. 400 00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:44,494 You do realize if you compromise, you're only gonna get 95% 401 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:45,704 of what you want, right? 402 00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:46,913 Yes. 403 00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:50,750 And I am okay with that. 404 00:20:52,544 --> 00:20:53,378 Look... 405 00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:58,633 how about you pick the neighborhood and I pick the house? 406 00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:00,468 That seems fair. 407 00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:01,970 Deal. 408 00:21:02,554 --> 00:21:04,597 Obviously, it depends on the neighborhood. 409 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,141 Obviously. 410 00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,188 Tell the doctor how much it hurts. 411 00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:15,692 Oh, she knows. She heard you scream your dick is on fire. 412 00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:17,777 Uh-huh. 413 00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:19,195 Huh. 414 00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:21,323 Huh. 415 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,951 Okay. Well, thank you. 416 00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:29,789 Good news. The picture really helped. She's seen this before. 417 00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:31,416 And? 418 00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:34,753 Well, she can't say this legally because you have to come in, 419 00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:39,924 but she's pretty sure that your eczema is strangling your penis. 420 00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:44,220 -And where is the good news? -It's totally fixable. 421 00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:46,723 -So what? I need an antibiotic? -Not necessary. 422 00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,433 -A soothing ointment? -No. 423 00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:49,851 What is the plan here? 424 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,562 She thinks you're gonna need a circumcision. 425 00:21:54,272 --> 00:21:56,274 I think I'm gonna need a second opinion. 426 00:22:00,862 --> 00:22:04,866 Killing our bunny and throwing its body in the ocean, who does that? 427 00:22:04,949 --> 00:22:07,410 The people we live with and owls. 428 00:22:08,078 --> 00:22:09,287 Big deal. 429 00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:12,499 We accidentally killed a rabbit once. 430 00:22:12,582 --> 00:22:16,294 They repeatedly celebrated a fake holiday to stay away from us. 431 00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:17,587 M'Challah. 432 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:18,838 As in the bread? 433 00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:23,343 Like making up a Christian holiday called "Christmistletoe." 434 00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:26,596 They methodically engineered a cover-up. 435 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:30,475 She killed an animal with her bare voice. 436 00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:34,354 You know how you always used to say she was Cruella de Vil? 437 00:22:34,437 --> 00:22:35,355 This is the proof. 438 00:22:36,439 --> 00:22:39,359 It's not like she was gonna make a coat out of the bunny. 439 00:22:39,442 --> 00:22:40,944 How do you know? 440 00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:42,445 We never found a body. 441 00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:45,031 She's not the devil, Sol. 442 00:22:45,115 --> 00:22:46,157 Give her a break. 443 00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:48,368 Are you forgetting how awful she was to you? 444 00:22:49,661 --> 00:22:50,495 No. 445 00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:56,376 But I did make up a holiday and lie to my children about it just to avoid her. 446 00:22:56,459 --> 00:22:58,628 I had plenty of things I wanted to get out of. 447 00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:00,630 I wish I'd thought of M'Challah. 448 00:23:02,006 --> 00:23:04,342 You hated Frankie so much, I'm surprised you didn't. 449 00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:07,929 -I was pretty awful to her. -You weren't so great to me either. 450 00:23:08,012 --> 00:23:09,639 But she didn't deserve it. 451 00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,891 If Grace had known what I did, 452 00:23:11,975 --> 00:23:14,060 do you think we ever would have become friends? 453 00:23:14,144 --> 00:23:16,855 If Frankie knew back then what I had done, 454 00:23:16,938 --> 00:23:19,065 do you think we ever would have become friends? 455 00:23:19,149 --> 00:23:22,402 I don't think there's anything that could have stopped you two... 456 00:23:22,485 --> 00:23:23,611 From becoming friends. 457 00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:27,574 I should go... 458 00:23:27,657 --> 00:23:29,367 Apologize to her. 459 00:23:29,993 --> 00:23:33,455 ...get another martini, then apologize to her. 460 00:23:44,674 --> 00:23:47,427 I know how thirsty you get when you're high. 461 00:23:48,803 --> 00:23:50,930 -Thank you. -You're welcome. 462 00:23:55,018 --> 00:23:56,519 All right, I have to ask. 463 00:23:57,270 --> 00:23:59,564 How could you not tell me for all those years? 464 00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:04,694 Sol, I was lying to Grace about so many other things 465 00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,030 that were so much worse, like us. 466 00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:10,450 I felt I had to be loyal to her this one time. 467 00:24:10,533 --> 00:24:11,409 Yeah, I get it. 468 00:24:13,411 --> 00:24:17,957 I kept lying about M'Challah for Frankie because I felt guilty about us too. 469 00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:21,753 Are we okay? 470 00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:27,675 -Except for how dry my mouth is... -Oh. 471 00:24:28,593 --> 00:24:29,594 ...we're fine. 472 00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:31,554 Hey... 473 00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:34,265 you know what we should do? 474 00:24:34,349 --> 00:24:35,183 What? 475 00:24:39,354 --> 00:24:40,188 Grace. 476 00:24:41,189 --> 00:24:42,357 Oh. 477 00:24:42,774 --> 00:24:44,192 I'm so sorry. 478 00:24:44,859 --> 00:24:46,069 Me too. 479 00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:50,532 What happened with Bud's Bunny would never, ever, happen again. 480 00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:53,826 I'm not carrying around the rabbit-killing, 481 00:24:53,910 --> 00:24:58,915 mad-at-the-world anger anymore because of you. 482 00:24:59,916 --> 00:25:03,044 You've made me a better, more delightful person. 483 00:25:03,127 --> 00:25:05,129 Delightful may be pushing it. 484 00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:11,177 And I want you to know that I would never make up a holiday 485 00:25:11,261 --> 00:25:12,887 to stay away from you now. 486 00:25:12,971 --> 00:25:15,306 But I would make one up to be with you. 487 00:25:16,057 --> 00:25:17,141 Come here. 488 00:25:17,225 --> 00:25:18,393 Oh! 489 00:25:19,060 --> 00:25:20,270 Oh, Grace. 490 00:25:20,353 --> 00:25:22,939 What do you think is going on with my son's penis? 491 00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:25,149 I'm trying not to think about it. 492 00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:30,947 The lengths we go to to get you to wash a dish. 493 00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:33,866 You'll be happy to know I also rinsed off my phone. 494 00:25:33,950 --> 00:25:35,034 It's at 4%. 495 00:25:35,660 --> 00:25:37,203 Can I borrow your charger? 496 00:25:38,454 --> 00:25:39,289 Voilà. 497 00:25:40,331 --> 00:25:41,916 Oh, my God. 498 00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:44,752 You--? You call that clean? 499 00:25:44,836 --> 00:25:46,087 Jesus.