1 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:53,888 Ah-ah-ah! 2 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,933 -Put that ship down. -That's what we're doing. 3 00:00:57,016 --> 00:01:00,645 -No, not there. Back on the mantel. -But we're gonna watch Cajun Pawn Stars. 4 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,522 -I don't care. -You understand 5 00:01:02,605 --> 00:01:06,359 that we always move the ship so that we can actually see the TV? 6 00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:11,531 That's when you were staying a few days. New rule: You touch my ship, you die. 7 00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:15,493 -Prison's hardened you. -No. You two have hardened me. 8 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,994 Prison's been a joy. 9 00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:22,041 Usually, when a loved one is behind bars, there's less glee and more gloom. 10 00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,334 What's to be gloomy about? 11 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,212 I get to see Nick an hour every day. We make the most of it. 12 00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,506 He's never on his phone 'cause it's contraband, 13 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,676 so when we talk, he is really there. 14 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,344 Hm. Captive, in fact. 15 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,139 We never argue about dinner 'cause it's a set menu. 16 00:01:36,222 --> 00:01:37,682 And then we do our own thing. 17 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,851 He goes back to his room, I go back to mine. 18 00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:43,855 But your room is a beach house and his is a jail cell. 19 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:47,191 Since you've been living here, my beach house is also a jail cell. 20 00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:49,360 -Well, scoff all you want. 21 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,488 This arrangement has done wonders for my marriage. 22 00:01:52,572 --> 00:01:55,032 It's kind of a perfect relationship. 23 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:58,744 I don't know how I ever had a relationship with somebody that wasn't locked up. 24 00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:03,082 Well, it must be working because you're absolutely glowing. 25 00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:06,794 -Can we move the ship? -Try it. 26 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:16,679 Frankie, should we really be taking this meeting without Grace? 27 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:17,597 Why? 28 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,725 Because she said we shouldn't be taking this meeting without her. 29 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:23,895 Oh, it's fine. She's in jail. She's happy. 30 00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:27,690 She'll be thrilled to find out we've landed a manufacturer for the Rise Up. 31 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:30,359 With what? We're candy rich and cash poor. 32 00:02:30,443 --> 00:02:32,820 We haven't reached the point in our money laundering 33 00:02:32,904 --> 00:02:34,488 where we actually get the money. 34 00:02:34,572 --> 00:02:36,490 How much candy have we moved? 35 00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:38,034 Three boxes. 36 00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:39,785 To my nephew. 37 00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:42,330 And I had to really lean on him. 38 00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:47,084 And Robert ate seven, so we're actually in the red. 39 00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:50,963 Okay, money is a tomorrow problem. 40 00:02:51,047 --> 00:02:53,841 This is just a meeting to schmooze the guy. 41 00:02:53,925 --> 00:02:56,010 Grace is the closer, we're the schmoozers. 42 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:59,305 Oh, I see. It's one of those get-to-know-you meetings 43 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:03,392 where I tell charming anecdotes while they stare at my chest. 44 00:03:03,476 --> 00:03:04,602 Exactly. 45 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,188 You never talk brass tacks this early. 46 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,734 As newcomers, we appreciate you welcoming us 47 00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:14,820 into the community of toileteers. 48 00:03:14,904 --> 00:03:18,532 My pleasure. Now, let's talk rubber washers, shall we? 49 00:03:18,616 --> 00:03:20,910 That's what we call "brass tacks" in the biz. 50 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:27,708 You know, I have a charming anecdote that I'd love to share 51 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:31,379 about a young child's bravery during the Blitz. 52 00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:32,421 And, yes... 53 00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:34,465 that child was me. 54 00:03:34,966 --> 00:03:38,511 Interesting you say "child" because I too was a child once. 55 00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,805 All right, ladies, I have a hard out, 56 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:45,184 so to get this into production, I'm gonna need a 30% startup fee. 57 00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:48,604 My prices are competitive. That said, I can't do it for peanuts. 58 00:03:48,688 --> 00:03:51,232 Of course not. How about Abba-Zabas? 59 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,275 Excuse me? 60 00:03:52,358 --> 00:03:54,986 Let's say the toilets cost 100,000. 61 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:58,990 I could pay you up front, in cash, with candy. 62 00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:01,742 I'm sorry. I'm a little lost. 63 00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:04,328 Is "candy" code for something? 64 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:05,496 Money. 65 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,082 So you're going to pay me with money? 66 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,959 No. Candy. 67 00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:12,169 Okay. Is this a prank? 68 00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:13,337 Oh. 69 00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:16,382 Did those meatheads over at David Budin's Shower & Bath send you? 70 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,426 No! We're serious. 71 00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:22,638 Now, are you going to take our 200,000 dollars' worth of candy 72 00:04:22,722 --> 00:04:25,266 and make toilets for us or not? 73 00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,813 -I can't believe you made this. -Hmph. 74 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,398 It's actually good. 75 00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:34,233 A lot of time to work on my skills. 76 00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:35,484 Want a tat later? 77 00:04:35,568 --> 00:04:38,487 No. I'll stick to the quesadillas. 78 00:04:38,571 --> 00:04:39,905 It's a "prison-dilla." 79 00:04:39,989 --> 00:04:41,782 We steal cheese from the kitchen, 80 00:04:41,866 --> 00:04:44,660 put it on a tortilla made of Flaming Hot Cheeto dust, 81 00:04:44,744 --> 00:04:46,912 then all you need is a microwave and Blowtorch. 82 00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:49,081 Why need a blowtorch if you have a microwave? 83 00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:52,293 Blowtorch is a person. And he owns the microwave. 84 00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:55,004 Visiting hours are almost over. 85 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,298 Say your goodbyes, folks. 86 00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:02,136 Well, I hate to eat and run, but I guess our hour is up. 87 00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:05,348 Time really flies in this place. 88 00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,141 It famously does not. 89 00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:10,186 And I hate it when you leave. 90 00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:12,146 I know. Me too. 91 00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,189 Grace... 92 00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:17,651 I didn't want to jinx this, but I've been talking to my lawyer, 93 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:21,405 and there's a chance I could get out if I admit guilt and write a big check. 94 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,325 You mean, like, "out" out? 95 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:27,995 "Out" out. No more hour visits. No walls between us. 96 00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:29,538 Just you and me. 97 00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:31,374 Oh. 98 00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:34,585 Uh-huh. Yeah. Wow. That's great. 99 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:38,631 -You sure you wanna plead guilty? -Yes! If it gets me out of here. 100 00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:42,551 Yeah, well, sure, but, I mean, isn't there something to be said 101 00:05:42,635 --> 00:05:45,262 for fighting for your innocence and for the truth? 102 00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:46,472 The truth is I'm guilty. 103 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:49,225 Guilty, yes, but not "guilty" guilty. 104 00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:50,768 No, I'm "guilty" guilty. 105 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,937 And that's just the charges they've got me on. 106 00:05:58,692 --> 00:05:59,985 My neck hurts. 107 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,114 What alternative do we have? 108 00:06:03,948 --> 00:06:05,741 Oh, I don't know. 109 00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:08,119 Maybe we move the ship? 110 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,996 Well, you heard Grace, she said she'd kill us. 111 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,581 And she doesn't fear prison. 112 00:06:12,665 --> 00:06:15,793 Oh, Robert, get ahold of yourself. She'll never know. 113 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,462 Careful, Sol. 114 00:06:18,963 --> 00:06:20,423 Oh, I can't look. 115 00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:24,135 Ooh. Ah-ah-ah! 116 00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:27,638 No, no, no. Not there. You'll knock it off. You're all feet. 117 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,641 If you don't like where it is, move it. 118 00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,059 Fine. 119 00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:41,986 Steady as she goes. 120 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,154 Oh, shut up. 121 00:06:50,286 --> 00:06:52,538 We need to leave and never come back. 122 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,582 But our house isn't finished yet. 123 00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:56,917 You wanna be here when Grace finds out? 124 00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:58,752 I can be packed in five minutes. 125 00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:07,094 To be honest, I'd rather get circumcised at a hospital, 126 00:07:07,178 --> 00:07:10,931 but it means a lot to my dad, so I'm thinking of getting a bris. 127 00:07:11,015 --> 00:07:13,893 Bris? I'm here to paint your house. 128 00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,937 Kidding! 129 00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:18,522 Just part of my shtick. 130 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:21,108 -And I'm gonna take part of yours. -Jesus. 131 00:07:21,192 --> 00:07:22,276 Him I don't know. 132 00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:25,571 Listen, I've been doing this for 30 years. 133 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,031 Sober for three. 134 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,868 We should get a second opinion from a doctor. 135 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,412 Doctor-shmoctor. They charge an arm and a leg. 136 00:07:33,913 --> 00:07:35,080 I work for tips. 137 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,751 You want me to do it now? I'll go get my garden shears. 138 00:07:39,919 --> 00:07:41,003 Call the doctor. 139 00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:53,098 Well, you really screwed up this time. 140 00:07:53,766 --> 00:07:55,017 What? What did I do? 141 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,978 You made us look like whack-jobs. 142 00:07:58,062 --> 00:08:00,272 -You don't need me for that. -Exactly. 143 00:08:00,773 --> 00:08:04,193 Joan-Margaret and I went to a meeting, and you weren't there to rein us in, 144 00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:08,113 so we may have insulted the toilet man with our candy offer. 145 00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,241 I told you to cancel that meeting. 146 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:13,077 No. You're not turning this around on me, lady. 147 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,246 Someone had to make the decisions 148 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:18,499 when you were off having the time of your life in jail. 149 00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:20,793 I was gone for only two hours. 150 00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,379 God, you take longer to put on your jewelry. 151 00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,798 It's called layering, Grace. 152 00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:28,551 Look, even if we had the money, there's nothing we can do 153 00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:31,095 until the mechanic finishes testing the new part. 154 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:35,266 Wrong again. Luanne called from the Hot Hot Chili Festival, 155 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:39,019 where she had tested our toilet under adverse conditions, 156 00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:41,063 and it held up like a champ. 157 00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:44,108 That is the most disgusting good news I have ever heard. 158 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,319 Grace, your pantsuit looks marvelous! 159 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:51,532 Oh, and, Frankie, you're very charming on the small screen. 160 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,158 Is that Shark Tank? 161 00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:56,078 We said we wouldn't watch that episode in this house. 162 00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:59,248 You said she couldn't watch porn during her breaks. 163 00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:01,875 That was delicious television, darlings. 164 00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:03,752 I don't come off too bad? 165 00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:05,296 -Not bad at all... -Good. 166 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,298 ...for someone who betrayed her best friend 167 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:10,092 for a man who betrayed the American taxpayer. 168 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:14,096 How did the toilet come off? What is Twitter saying? 169 00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:16,473 That's the interesting part, dear. 170 00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:21,854 Apparently, everyone hates Grace, but they love the toilet. 171 00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:23,772 Let me-- Let me look. 172 00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:26,859 Oh, my God. Listen to these comments. 173 00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:30,863 "Where do I get a Rise Up?" "My mom needs one!" 174 00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:34,867 "Grace is a bitch." "Tried it at Chili Fest, works great!" 175 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:38,203 Oh, we're a hit, ladies! Let's celebrate. 176 00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:41,749 No time. We need to strike while the toilet's hot. 177 00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:45,294 We've got to roll up our sleeves, eliminate all distractions. 178 00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:49,673 -We've got to cancel our plans. -I don't know if we can cancel our plans. 179 00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:53,260 I know you're worried about me missing the ostrich rodeo, 180 00:09:53,344 --> 00:09:57,097 and, yes, tickets are nonrefundable and they're 300 apiece, 181 00:09:57,181 --> 00:10:00,267 and I bought a block of six, but the rodeo can wait. 182 00:10:00,351 --> 00:10:02,353 I'm not worried about the rodeo. 183 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:07,816 See, we might have a small distraction because Nick might be getting out of jail. 184 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,318 -What? -Yeah. 185 00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:12,821 Oh, great. Just as things are coming together, 186 00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:17,159 he swoops in right in time to fuck things up for us. Again. 187 00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:21,288 No, but he's not gonna do that. It probably won't even happen anyway. 188 00:10:21,372 --> 00:10:24,041 -It might. And if it does-- -I'll handle it. 189 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,542 Like you did last time? 190 00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:28,796 This isn't like last time. That's why I told you. 191 00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,256 Trust me, I got this. 192 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:37,930 After the M'Challah debacle, Jessica and I went to see that place Brianna showed us. 193 00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:40,015 -And? -Perfect for us. 194 00:10:40,099 --> 00:10:42,976 -Ooh. -It's like a giant tiny house. 195 00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:44,144 You mean a house? 196 00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:45,062 Yeah. 197 00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:46,730 It's great. 198 00:10:48,107 --> 00:10:50,025 There's just one problem. 199 00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:55,155 We're about 30,000 short on the down payment, 200 00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:57,449 and I was thinking maybe I could get a loan? 201 00:10:58,492 --> 00:10:59,326 Oy. 202 00:10:59,410 --> 00:11:01,745 I'll pay you back in less than six months. 203 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:03,914 Ten years, max. 204 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:08,085 As much as I'd love to help, have you ever thought about selling off some assets? 205 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:12,548 -I'm not allowed to sell any more sperm. -Not what I was referring to. 206 00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:16,802 Assets, plural? Who am I, the Monopoly Man, Archibald J. Peckwith? 207 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,054 No, no. I just... Is that his name? 208 00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:20,347 Shot in the dark. 209 00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:25,102 -I'm talking about selling your Sacagawea. -What? No way. 210 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,979 Mm-mm. I've had that forever. 211 00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:28,605 You got it out of a cereal box. 212 00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:31,233 So what? I'm supposed to just sell my lucky coin? 213 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:34,737 Yeah. Now that it's worth a whole bunch of money. 214 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,907 -It's priceless to me. -Why? 215 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,285 Because... 216 00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:45,581 -It is. -Dude, that is not a good explanation. 217 00:11:46,165 --> 00:11:50,043 Listen, if you want to take this big of a step with Jessica, 218 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:54,339 you need to be willing to make some equally big sacrifices. 219 00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:58,093 Going in for a refill. 220 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:04,224 -When's your dick getting fixed? -Not soon enough. 221 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,146 You're welcome. 222 00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,024 Excuse me? 223 00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:14,735 I opened the door for you. 224 00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:17,237 And no one asked you to. That was your choice. 225 00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:19,072 My choice was to be polite. 226 00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:22,201 Actually, your choice was to assume I needed you to open the door. 227 00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:26,914 I'm sorry for noticing you have your hands full with your Michael Bublé CD. 228 00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:29,833 You got a problem with him? 229 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,337 Not with Bublé. I've got a problem with you. 230 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,090 What? 231 00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:39,885 Have fun listening to your CD on the way to Blockbuster! 232 00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:43,806 Crushed it. 233 00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:49,478 It needs more air again. 234 00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:52,606 Fine, just don't get up too quickly... 235 00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,535 The stupid pump isn't working. 236 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,829 I'm never gonna fall asleep. 237 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,248 Me neither. 238 00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,378 May I interest you in some shut-eye? 239 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,921 Those things never work for me. 240 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:18,841 Couldn't hurt though. 241 00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:25,013 Coming aboard. 242 00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:31,061 Great. Now I have to pee. 243 00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:34,606 Aw, jeez. 244 00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,117 Frankie, dear. 245 00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:46,535 What gives? 246 00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:49,872 I've got someone who can help us move the candy. 247 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,624 I was at Walden Villas, trolling for tail-- 248 00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:55,294 Otherwise known as Thursday. 249 00:13:55,377 --> 00:14:00,757 And I found this total dime-piece screaming at one of the orderlies. 250 00:14:04,303 --> 00:14:05,596 Hello, Frankie. 251 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,097 What's poppin', Howard? 252 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:10,642 My beautiful new girlfriend told me you were in a pickle. 253 00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,811 Oh, I wouldn't say "girlfriend." 254 00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,730 Let's see how lunch goes. 255 00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:20,444 Anyway, I was told you girls need to lose some candy, fast. 256 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,989 But you screwed us over once. Why should we trust you now? 257 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:27,242 One, I never hit a mark twice. 258 00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:29,828 Two, I'm easy to catch. 259 00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:33,165 We promised we'd deal with this when Grace gets back. 260 00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:35,208 Just hear what he has to say. 261 00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:38,045 If the idea sucks, you can show him the door. 262 00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:42,382 But he will be here until Walden Villas comes back with the ramp van. 263 00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:46,219 I was also told that there would be lunch. 264 00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:48,764 There's a full lunch on your shirt. 265 00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:59,232 Fine. What's the play? 266 00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:02,444 When I heard of your predicament, I didn't know if I could help. 267 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:06,657 I mean, sure, I've been in the candy game before. 268 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:10,702 Raised thousands of dollars for my grandson's baseball team. 269 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,664 That's impressive. What's his name? 270 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:16,041 -Whose name? -Your grandson's. 271 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:19,252 What grandson? It was a scam, Kojak. 272 00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:22,464 When the La Jolla Little League found out, they shut me down. 273 00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:25,008 That's Little League. This is the Bigs. 274 00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,969 I got a big solution. 275 00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:30,597 When I heard you were lousy with Abba-Zabas, 276 00:15:30,681 --> 00:15:34,935 it reminded me of something I heard from an old contact. 277 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:39,648 A Norwegian candy smuggler, Hummer Von Vuckinschloker. 278 00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:45,070 He told me that Zabas weren't sold in Norway, 279 00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:49,032 which resulted in a huge black market for them. 280 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:53,662 And once we cut in Von Hamantaschen, what's in it for you? 281 00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:58,208 How about a chance to help a classy broad like Joanie? 282 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:03,005 Spend a few of my last precious moments on earth with her. 283 00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,507 And 40% off the top. 284 00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,508 Oh. 285 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:09,511 Zero percent and you got yourself a girlfriend. 286 00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,694 -Robert, wake up. -No. 287 00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:26,611 Robert! 288 00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:29,281 I think someone broke in. 289 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:32,868 Don't be ridiculous. We've been right here the whole time. 290 00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:38,874 Well, I'll be damned. 291 00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:41,501 How can we have slept through a robbery? 292 00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:45,213 We were on sleep meds. What the hell's his excuse? 293 00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,509 We've gotta figure out our strategy. 294 00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:52,387 I think we can get a reduced sentence and minimum security. 295 00:16:52,471 --> 00:16:55,057 Unless we ask for total freedom, which is a long shot. 296 00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:56,933 -Minimum security. -Total freedom. 297 00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:59,978 -You want me to stay in prison? -No. You heard what Elena said. 298 00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,855 Minimum security is our only option. 299 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,024 -I don't know that I-- -I'm paraphrasing. 300 00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:07,861 But I heard if you roll the dice and lose, they could come down harder on you. 301 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,906 Then you could be put away for who knows how long. 302 00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,240 Am I right, Elena? 303 00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:14,117 -Well... -Thank you. 304 00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,952 It's not like it's a real prison. 305 00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:19,372 It's prison-lite. Right? They're basically country clubs. 306 00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,792 You'd be playing tennis with other tax evaders. 307 00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:25,629 I already do that. And if I testify against my buddies, who'll play with me? 308 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,841 Well, you'll make new friends. Like you did with Blowtorch. 309 00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:33,095 You think Blowtorches grow on trees? Tell them no deal. 310 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:34,930 We'll take the deal. 311 00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:37,933 -What are you talking about? -We gotta get real. 312 00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:39,726 You do the crime, you do the time. 313 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:42,896 No, you do the crime, you pay the dime. That's the saying, right? 314 00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:44,397 -I don't-- -Thank you. 315 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,484 -Don't you want me to get out? -Of course I do. 316 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:52,114 I just don't want you to run the risk of landing yourself in jail for longer. 317 00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:55,283 This isn't something you can just negotiate your way out of. 318 00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:57,786 -Actually-- -Elena, please. 319 00:17:57,869 --> 00:18:02,165 Honey, as your wife, I'm asking you, choose the safer option. 320 00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:04,709 -For me. 321 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,920 Wait. How did you sneak your phone in here? 322 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:11,091 Oh, please. I'm 82. They wouldn't pat me down if I begged them. 323 00:18:11,675 --> 00:18:12,509 Frankie? 324 00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,136 I can't do time. 325 00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:17,514 There has to be some kind of Hail Mary to get me out. 326 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,016 -So Grace is 82? -Mm-hm. 327 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,727 I think I have an idea. 328 00:18:23,562 --> 00:18:26,148 -What's going on? -I'm taking care of business! 329 00:18:26,231 --> 00:18:28,608 I'm gonna make you so proud, mama bear. 330 00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:31,403 Please tell me you're not meeting with another manufacturer. 331 00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:34,447 Nope! I'm meeting with a Norwegian candy smuggler. 332 00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:36,241 Oh, God. 333 00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:41,997 We just have to face the fact that we can't afford that house. 334 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,958 We'll wallow in extreme nachos and then move on. 335 00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,336 Damn it. 336 00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:52,007 I really thought that was the one. 337 00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:54,885 Maybe it still is. 338 00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:58,346 Look, I may have... 339 00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,307 our down payment... 340 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:02,434 right here. 341 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,272 I got it from a cereal box. 342 00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:09,107 Really funny. 343 00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:13,111 -What are you doing? -What are you doing? 344 00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,821 Pull over. Where'd it go? 345 00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:21,161 Dr. Dumanis was called away on emergency, 346 00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:23,580 but there's no need to be nervous, hon. 347 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,665 -Dr. Green is more than capable. -Good. 348 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,877 She likes to listen to music while she operates. 349 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,213 -Wanna look at the options? -Uh... 350 00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:33,465 Whatever makes her hands the steadiest is fine. 351 00:19:33,548 --> 00:19:35,842 -I will play her new favorite. -Great. 352 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,146 Is that Bublé? 353 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,481 It is. 354 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:54,027 How are we feeling today, Mr. Bergstein? 355 00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:58,073 I'm just a wee bit nervous, innit? 356 00:19:59,658 --> 00:20:01,952 More importantly, how are you? 357 00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:06,164 -I'm good. -Huzzah! 358 00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:09,626 Are you currently taking any medications? 359 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,629 -None me can think of, matey. -Mm-hm. 360 00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:17,968 -Oh! It's you. -No, it's not. 361 00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:21,263 Alrighty. Yeah. I will be with you in just a second. 362 00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:26,393 Thank you so much. 363 00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:32,691 Nope. 364 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:38,280 Oh. 365 00:20:40,115 --> 00:20:42,534 Why didn't you tell me it was worth $30,000? 366 00:20:42,617 --> 00:20:43,952 I was about to. 367 00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:46,955 How was I supposed to know that you were gonna chuck a dollar? 368 00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:50,125 -Who chucks a dollar? -I thought you were joking. 369 00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:52,836 You told me you got it out of a cereal box. 370 00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:54,879 That was just the beginning of a story. 371 00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:57,048 Very often that's your whole story. 372 00:20:57,132 --> 00:20:59,175 I've had this in my pocket since I was a kid. 373 00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:01,761 Wow. 374 00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,514 Can't believe you've had it for so long. 375 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:10,437 You know, before I got clean, I used to go on these benders where I'd just... 376 00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:12,897 disappear. 377 00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:17,610 Anyway, years ago, I was on the tail-end of one... 378 00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:19,696 and I was desperate. 379 00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:25,994 So I went to my dealer's house to buy more shit, but I was a dollar short. 380 00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:30,749 And the guy, he was an asshole, he wouldn't give me anything. 381 00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:33,960 So, what'd you do? 382 00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,464 I dug through my pockets. 383 00:21:38,048 --> 00:21:39,341 And found the coin. 384 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,764 But you still have the coin. 385 00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:49,476 When I looked at it, I remembered... 386 00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:54,064 how insanely happy I was, you know? 387 00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:57,317 Just to get this prize out of a cereal box. 388 00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:02,113 And there I was, willing to throw it away 389 00:22:02,197 --> 00:22:05,075 for something that was never gonna make me happy. 390 00:22:07,702 --> 00:22:09,662 So I told the guy to fuck off. 391 00:22:10,413 --> 00:22:12,499 And I checked myself into rehab. 392 00:22:12,582 --> 00:22:15,293 And I've been clean ever since. 393 00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:23,134 Coyote, you can't get rid of that coin. 394 00:22:25,804 --> 00:22:28,932 You have to keep it. No matter what. 395 00:22:30,308 --> 00:22:31,559 No, I don't. 396 00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:35,522 Because I've found something else that makes me insanely happy. 397 00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:39,526 And I wanna live in that house with you. 398 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,037 -Oh! -Oh, dear. 399 00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:55,708 Oh. 400 00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:57,794 Oh, my God. 401 00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:02,632 What? 402 00:23:03,216 --> 00:23:05,051 Some watchdog. 403 00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:09,848 Ah. 404 00:23:15,854 --> 00:23:19,732 That two-bit thief. Doesn't understand the worth of a Tappy. 405 00:23:21,401 --> 00:23:22,735 Oh! 406 00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:25,864 This is the most embarrassing crime I've ever seen. 407 00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:39,377 -You must be Van Helsing. -No, I am Hummer Von Vuckinschloker. 408 00:23:39,961 --> 00:23:44,424 Howard says you bring the candy. So you bring the candy? 409 00:23:45,008 --> 00:23:47,302 Feast your eyes on this, Von Shmucker. 410 00:23:50,722 --> 00:23:51,723 What is this? 411 00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:54,517 Candy, of course. 412 00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:55,894 Where are Kit Kats? 413 00:23:55,977 --> 00:23:59,022 Kit Kats? You need Zabas. Because of the shortage. 414 00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:03,485 What is this, many years ago in the past? Zabas are everywhere since 2018. 415 00:24:03,568 --> 00:24:05,695 Kit Kats are hot now. 416 00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:08,448 Look, Heidi, I didn't get in the toilet biz 417 00:24:08,531 --> 00:24:11,784 to get into the candy biz to be told I've got the wrong candy. 418 00:24:11,868 --> 00:24:14,037 What the fuck is going on? 419 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:20,710 Frankie, the candy jig is up. 420 00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:22,295 We don't need that guy. 421 00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:24,464 According to this candy chat room, 422 00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:27,509 there's a guy from Manila hunting for Necco Wafers. 423 00:24:27,592 --> 00:24:29,427 -Frankie, enough. -But, Grace-- 424 00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:35,099 No buts. You're not a candy smuggler. You're not a money launderer. 425 00:24:35,183 --> 00:24:37,268 Not yet but I am trying. 426 00:24:37,352 --> 00:24:41,231 Do you hear yourself? Even for you, you sound crazy. 427 00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:42,398 What about you? 428 00:24:42,899 --> 00:24:47,487 You made your ex-husband put money down his pants to hide it from the FBI. 429 00:24:47,570 --> 00:24:50,448 I've never been prouder, but it was bonkers. 430 00:24:51,115 --> 00:24:55,703 You wanna hear bonkers? I just tried to keep my current husband in prison. 431 00:24:55,787 --> 00:24:57,914 -Well, that's just bat-shit. -Yeah. 432 00:24:58,414 --> 00:25:00,750 God. And I lied to the FBI. 433 00:25:01,584 --> 00:25:02,585 I don't do that. 434 00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:05,338 I went to Miss Caterwall's Finishing School 435 00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:08,299 and turned in girls for mumbling the Pledge of Allegiance! 436 00:25:08,383 --> 00:25:10,093 Jesus, Grace. 437 00:25:10,176 --> 00:25:11,928 Well, I'm not proud of that. 438 00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:13,429 And I'm not proud of... 439 00:25:14,764 --> 00:25:16,891 Of how I've been acting lately. 440 00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:19,519 When did we become these people? 441 00:25:19,602 --> 00:25:24,065 You know what I think? It all started when we took that money from the couch. 442 00:25:24,148 --> 00:25:26,818 -We knew it was dirty. -Yeah, and pretended it wasn't. 443 00:25:26,901 --> 00:25:30,238 And all it's done since then is made us lose our minds. 444 00:25:30,321 --> 00:25:34,117 Oh, we were so close to making the Rise Up happen. 445 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,995 I just wanted to get us across the finish line. 446 00:25:37,078 --> 00:25:40,164 We'll get there. Just not like this. 447 00:25:42,959 --> 00:25:45,837 So, what the hell do we do with all this damn candy? 448 00:25:49,674 --> 00:25:52,176 You know what? I feel better already. 449 00:25:52,260 --> 00:25:55,263 You really are our "getting out of messes" person. 450 00:25:55,888 --> 00:25:58,391 Coming from our "getting into messes" person, 451 00:25:58,474 --> 00:25:59,684 that means a lot. 452 00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:01,144 Speaking of which, 453 00:26:02,186 --> 00:26:05,565 if we don't return the U-Haul, they will charge us. 454 00:26:06,608 --> 00:26:09,444 -"Us"? -You. They'll charge you. 455 00:26:16,993 --> 00:26:19,537 Anyone need a turtleneck changed into a crewneck? 456 00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:20,496 V-necks are extra. 457 00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:25,543 Okay. If we're gonna do this, we'll need to set up some ground rules. 458 00:26:25,627 --> 00:26:26,628 Sure thing. 459 00:26:26,711 --> 00:26:29,756 -I touch yours, you don't touch mine. -Yes, that's one. 460 00:26:29,839 --> 00:26:32,050 But, also, no more jokes until after the procedure. 461 00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:35,928 You got it. I won't put you in stitches until after the stitches. 462 00:26:36,012 --> 00:26:39,057 I have to be honest. You really need some new material. 463 00:26:39,140 --> 00:26:41,768 -You think you can do better? -Well, yes, I do. 464 00:26:41,851 --> 00:26:45,772 Fine, pitch me some new jokes. But I cut anything I don't like. 465 00:26:45,855 --> 00:26:47,982 Let's just get this over with. 466 00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:58,493 Hear that, Frankie? 467 00:27:00,203 --> 00:27:03,206 That's the sound of no dirty candy. 468 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,168 And no fussy ex-husbands. 469 00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:09,379 Just you and me, baby. 470 00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:13,424 Don't people know not to knock when I'm drinking? 471 00:27:16,386 --> 00:27:17,387 Nick? 472 00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:20,890 How are you here? 473 00:27:21,474 --> 00:27:22,767 Elena worked a miracle. 474 00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:25,895 She got me a deal that beat minimum security. 475 00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:30,108 Cute, huh? And you'll get to see it every day 476 00:27:30,191 --> 00:27:33,277 because I'm here on house arrest with you. 477 00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:34,946 And you.