1
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:53,888
Ah-ah-ah!
2
00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,933
-Put that ship down.
-That's what we're doing.
3
00:00:57,016 --> 00:01:00,645
-No, not there. Back on the mantel.
-But we're gonna watch Cajun Pawn Stars.
4
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,522
-I don't care.
-You understand
5
00:01:02,605 --> 00:01:06,359
that we always move the ship
so that we can actually see the TV?
6
00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:11,531
That's when you were staying a few days.
New rule: You touch my ship, you die.
7
00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:15,493
-Prison's hardened you.
-No. You two have hardened me.
8
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,994
Prison's been a joy.
9
00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:22,041
Usually, when a loved one is behind bars,
there's less glee and more gloom.
10
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,334
What's to be gloomy about?
11
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,212
I get to see Nick an hour every day.
We make the most of it.
12
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,506
He's never on his phone
'cause it's contraband,
13
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,676
so when we talk, he is really there.
14
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,344
Hm. Captive, in fact.
15
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,139
We never argue about dinner
'cause it's a set menu.
16
00:01:36,222 --> 00:01:37,682
And then we do our own thing.
17
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,851
He goes back to his room,
I go back to mine.
18
00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:43,855
But your room is a beach house
and his is a jail cell.
19
00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:47,191
Since you've been living here,
my beach house is also a jail cell.
20
00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:49,360
-Well, scoff all you want.
21
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,488
This arrangement has done wonders
for my marriage.
22
00:01:52,572 --> 00:01:55,032
It's kind of a perfect relationship.
23
00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:58,744
I don't know how I ever had a relationship
with somebody that wasn't locked up.
24
00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:03,082
Well, it must be working
because you're absolutely glowing.
25
00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:06,794
-Can we move the ship?
-Try it.
26
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:16,679
Frankie, should we really be taking
this meeting without Grace?
27
00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:17,597
Why?
28
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,725
Because she said we shouldn't be taking
this meeting without her.
29
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:23,895
Oh, it's fine. She's in jail. She's happy.
30
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:27,690
She'll be thrilled to find out we've
landed a manufacturer for the Rise Up.
31
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:30,359
With what? We're candy rich and cash poor.
32
00:02:30,443 --> 00:02:32,820
We haven't reached the point
in our money laundering
33
00:02:32,904 --> 00:02:34,488
where we actually get the money.
34
00:02:34,572 --> 00:02:36,490
How much candy have we moved?
35
00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:38,034
Three boxes.
36
00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:39,785
To my nephew.
37
00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:42,330
And I had to really lean on him.
38
00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:47,084
And Robert ate seven,
so we're actually in the red.
39
00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:50,963
Okay, money is a tomorrow problem.
40
00:02:51,047 --> 00:02:53,841
This is just a meeting
to schmooze the guy.
41
00:02:53,925 --> 00:02:56,010
Grace is the closer, we're the schmoozers.
42
00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:59,305
Oh, I see.
It's one of those get-to-know-you meetings
43
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:03,392
where I tell charming anecdotes
while they stare at my chest.
44
00:03:03,476 --> 00:03:04,602
Exactly.
45
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,188
You never talk brass tacks this early.
46
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,734
As newcomers,
we appreciate you welcoming us
47
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:14,820
into the community of toileteers.
48
00:03:14,904 --> 00:03:18,532
My pleasure.
Now, let's talk rubber washers, shall we?
49
00:03:18,616 --> 00:03:20,910
That's what we call "brass tacks"
in the biz.
50
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:27,708
You know, I have a charming anecdote
that I'd love to share
51
00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:31,379
about a young child's bravery
during the Blitz.
52
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:32,421
And, yes...
53
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:34,465
that child was me.
54
00:03:34,966 --> 00:03:38,511
Interesting you say "child"
because I too was a child once.
55
00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,805
All right, ladies, I have a hard out,
56
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:45,184
so to get this into production,
I'm gonna need a 30% startup fee.
57
00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:48,604
My prices are competitive.
That said, I can't do it for peanuts.
58
00:03:48,688 --> 00:03:51,232
Of course not. How about Abba-Zabas?
59
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,275
Excuse me?
60
00:03:52,358 --> 00:03:54,986
Let's say
the toilets cost 100,000.
61
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:58,990
I could pay you up front,
in cash, with candy.
62
00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:01,742
I'm sorry. I'm a little lost.
63
00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:04,328
Is "candy" code for something?
64
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:05,496
Money.
65
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,082
So you're going to pay me with money?
66
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,959
No. Candy.
67
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:12,169
Okay. Is this a prank?
68
00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:13,337
Oh.
69
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:16,382
Did those meatheads over at
David Budin's Shower & Bath send you?
70
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,426
No! We're serious.
71
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:22,638
Now, are you going to take
our 200,000 dollars' worth of candy
72
00:04:22,722 --> 00:04:25,266
and make toilets for us or not?
73
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,813
-I can't believe you made this.
-Hmph.
74
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,398
It's actually good.
75
00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:34,233
A lot of time to work on my skills.
76
00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:35,484
Want a tat later?
77
00:04:35,568 --> 00:04:38,487
No. I'll stick to the quesadillas.
78
00:04:38,571 --> 00:04:39,905
It's a "prison-dilla."
79
00:04:39,989 --> 00:04:41,782
We steal cheese from the kitchen,
80
00:04:41,866 --> 00:04:44,660
put it on a tortilla
made of Flaming Hot Cheeto dust,
81
00:04:44,744 --> 00:04:46,912
then all you need is
a microwave and Blowtorch.
82
00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:49,081
Why need a blowtorch
if you have a microwave?
83
00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:52,293
Blowtorch is a person.
And he owns the microwave.
84
00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:55,004
Visiting hours
are almost over.
85
00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,298
Say your goodbyes, folks.
86
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:02,136
Well, I hate to eat and run,
but I guess our hour is up.
87
00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:05,348
Time really flies in this place.
88
00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,141
It famously does not.
89
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:10,186
And I hate it when you leave.
90
00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:12,146
I know. Me too.
91
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,189
Grace...
92
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:17,651
I didn't want to jinx this,
but I've been talking to my lawyer,
93
00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:21,405
and there's a chance I could get out
if I admit guilt and write a big check.
94
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,325
You mean, like, "out" out?
95
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:27,995
"Out" out. No more hour visits.
No walls between us.
96
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:29,538
Just you and me.
97
00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:31,374
Oh.
98
00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:34,585
Uh-huh. Yeah. Wow. That's great.
99
00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:38,631
-You sure you wanna plead guilty?
-Yes! If it gets me out of here.
100
00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:42,551
Yeah, well, sure, but, I mean,
isn't there something to be said
101
00:05:42,635 --> 00:05:45,262
for fighting for your innocence
and for the truth?
102
00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:46,472
The truth is I'm guilty.
103
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:49,225
Guilty, yes, but not "guilty" guilty.
104
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:50,768
No, I'm "guilty" guilty.
105
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,937
And that's just the charges
they've got me on.
106
00:05:58,692 --> 00:05:59,985
My neck hurts.
107
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,114
What alternative do we have?
108
00:06:03,948 --> 00:06:05,741
Oh, I don't know.
109
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:08,119
Maybe we move the ship?
110
00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,996
Well, you heard Grace,
she said she'd kill us.
111
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,581
And she doesn't fear prison.
112
00:06:12,665 --> 00:06:15,793
Oh, Robert, get ahold of yourself.
She'll never know.
113
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,462
Careful, Sol.
114
00:06:18,963 --> 00:06:20,423
Oh, I can't look.
115
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:24,135
Ooh. Ah-ah-ah!
116
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:27,638
No, no, no. Not there.
You'll knock it off. You're all feet.
117
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,641
If you don't like where it is, move it.
118
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,059
Fine.
119
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:41,986
Steady as she goes.
120
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,154
Oh, shut up.
121
00:06:50,286 --> 00:06:52,538
We need to leave and never come back.
122
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,582
But our house isn't finished yet.
123
00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:56,917
You wanna be here when Grace finds out?
124
00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:58,752
I can be packed in five minutes.
125
00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:07,094
To be honest,
I'd rather get circumcised at a hospital,
126
00:07:07,178 --> 00:07:10,931
but it means a lot to my dad,
so I'm thinking of getting a bris.
127
00:07:11,015 --> 00:07:13,893
Bris? I'm here to paint your house.
128
00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,937
Kidding!
129
00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:18,522
Just part of my shtick.
130
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:21,108
-And I'm gonna take part of yours.
-Jesus.
131
00:07:21,192 --> 00:07:22,276
Him I don't know.
132
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:25,571
Listen, I've been doing this for 30 years.
133
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,031
Sober for three.
134
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,868
We should get a second opinion
from a doctor.
135
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,412
Doctor-shmoctor.
They charge an arm and a leg.
136
00:07:33,913 --> 00:07:35,080
I work for tips.
137
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,751
You want me to do it now?
I'll go get my garden shears.
138
00:07:39,919 --> 00:07:41,003
Call the doctor.
139
00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:53,098
Well, you really screwed up this time.
140
00:07:53,766 --> 00:07:55,017
What? What did I do?
141
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,978
You made us look like whack-jobs.
142
00:07:58,062 --> 00:08:00,272
-You don't need me for that.
-Exactly.
143
00:08:00,773 --> 00:08:04,193
Joan-Margaret and I went to a meeting,
and you weren't there to rein us in,
144
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:08,113
so we may have insulted the toilet man
with our candy offer.
145
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,241
I told you to cancel that meeting.
146
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:13,077
No. You're not turning this
around on me, lady.
147
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,246
Someone had to make the decisions
148
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:18,499
when you were off
having the time of your life in jail.
149
00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:20,793
I was gone for only two hours.
150
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,379
God, you take longer
to put on your jewelry.
151
00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,798
It's called layering, Grace.
152
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:28,551
Look, even if we had the money,
there's nothing we can do
153
00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:31,095
until the mechanic finishes
testing the new part.
154
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:35,266
Wrong again. Luanne called
from the Hot Hot Chili Festival,
155
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:39,019
where she had tested our toilet
under adverse conditions,
156
00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:41,063
and it held up like a champ.
157
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:44,108
That is the most disgusting good news
I have ever heard.
158
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,319
Grace, your pantsuit looks marvelous!
159
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:51,532
Oh, and, Frankie, you're very charming
on the small screen.
160
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,158
Is that Shark Tank?
161
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:56,078
We said we wouldn't watch
that episode in this house.
162
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:59,248
You said she couldn't watch porn
during her breaks.
163
00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:01,875
That was delicious television, darlings.
164
00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:03,752
I don't come off too bad?
165
00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:05,296
-Not bad at all...
-Good.
166
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,298
...for someone
who betrayed her best friend
167
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:10,092
for a man
who betrayed the American taxpayer.
168
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:14,096
How did the toilet come off?
What is Twitter saying?
169
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:16,473
That's the interesting part, dear.
170
00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:21,854
Apparently, everyone hates Grace,
but they love the toilet.
171
00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:23,772
Let me-- Let me look.
172
00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:26,859
Oh, my God. Listen to these comments.
173
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:30,863
"Where do I get a Rise Up?"
"My mom needs one!"
174
00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:34,867
"Grace is a bitch."
"Tried it at Chili Fest, works great!"
175
00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:38,203
Oh, we're a hit, ladies! Let's celebrate.
176
00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:41,749
No time.
We need to strike while the toilet's hot.
177
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:45,294
We've got to roll up our sleeves,
eliminate all distractions.
178
00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:49,673
-We've got to cancel our plans.
-I don't know if we can cancel our plans.
179
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:53,260
I know you're worried about me
missing the ostrich rodeo,
180
00:09:53,344 --> 00:09:57,097
and, yes, tickets are nonrefundable
and they're 300 apiece,
181
00:09:57,181 --> 00:10:00,267
and I bought a block of six,
but the rodeo can wait.
182
00:10:00,351 --> 00:10:02,353
I'm not worried about the rodeo.
183
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:07,816
See, we might have a small distraction
because Nick might be getting out of jail.
184
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,318
-What?
-Yeah.
185
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:12,821
Oh, great.
Just as things are coming together,
186
00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:17,159
he swoops in right in time
to fuck things up for us. Again.
187
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:21,288
No, but he's not gonna do that.
It probably won't even happen anyway.
188
00:10:21,372 --> 00:10:24,041
-It might. And if it does--
-I'll handle it.
189
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,542
Like you did last time?
190
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:28,796
This isn't like last time.
That's why I told you.
191
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,256
Trust me, I got this.
192
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:37,930
After the M'Challah debacle, Jessica and I
went to see that place Brianna showed us.
193
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:40,015
-And?
-Perfect for us.
194
00:10:40,099 --> 00:10:42,976
-Ooh.
-It's like a giant tiny house.
195
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:44,144
You mean a house?
196
00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:45,062
Yeah.
197
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:46,730
It's great.
198
00:10:48,107 --> 00:10:50,025
There's just one problem.
199
00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:55,155
We're about 30,000 short
on the down payment,
200
00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:57,449
and I was thinking
maybe I could get a loan?
201
00:10:58,492 --> 00:10:59,326
Oy.
202
00:10:59,410 --> 00:11:01,745
I'll pay you back in less than six months.
203
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:03,914
Ten years, max.
204
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:08,085
As much as I'd love to help, have you ever
thought about selling off some assets?
205
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:12,548
-I'm not allowed to sell any more sperm.
-Not what I was referring to.
206
00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:16,802
Assets, plural? Who am I,
the Monopoly Man, Archibald J. Peckwith?
207
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,054
No, no. I just... Is that his name?
208
00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:20,347
Shot in the dark.
209
00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:25,102
-I'm talking about selling your Sacagawea.
-What? No way.
210
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,979
Mm-mm. I've had that forever.
211
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:28,605
You got it out of a cereal box.
212
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:31,233
So what? I'm supposed
to just sell my lucky coin?
213
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:34,737
Yeah. Now that it's worth
a whole bunch of money.
214
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,907
-It's priceless to me.
-Why?
215
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,285
Because...
216
00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:45,581
-It is.
-Dude, that is not a good explanation.
217
00:11:46,165 --> 00:11:50,043
Listen, if you want to take
this big of a step with Jessica,
218
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:54,339
you need to be willing
to make some equally big sacrifices.
219
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:58,093
Going in for a refill.
220
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:04,224
-When's your dick getting fixed?
-Not soon enough.
221
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,146
You're welcome.
222
00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,024
Excuse me?
223
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:14,735
I opened the door for you.
224
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:17,237
And no one asked you to.
That was your choice.
225
00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:19,072
My choice was to be polite.
226
00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:22,201
Actually, your choice was to assume
I needed you to open the door.
227
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:26,914
I'm sorry for noticing you have your hands
full with your Michael Bublé CD.
228
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:29,833
You got a problem with him?
229
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,337
Not with Bublé.
I've got a problem with you.
230
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,090
What?
231
00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:39,885
Have fun listening to your CD
on the way to Blockbuster!
232
00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:43,806
Crushed it.
233
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:49,478
It needs more air again.
234
00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:52,606
Fine,
just don't get up too quickly...
235
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,535
The stupid pump isn't working.
236
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,829
I'm never gonna fall asleep.
237
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,248
Me neither.
238
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,378
May I interest you in some shut-eye?
239
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,921
Those things never work for me.
240
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:18,841
Couldn't hurt though.
241
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:25,013
Coming aboard.
242
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:31,061
Great. Now I have to pee.
243
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:34,606
Aw, jeez.
244
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,117
Frankie, dear.
245
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:46,535
What gives?
246
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:49,872
I've got someone
who can help us move the candy.
247
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,624
I was at Walden Villas,
trolling for tail--
248
00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:55,294
Otherwise known as Thursday.
249
00:13:55,377 --> 00:14:00,757
And I found this total dime-piece
screaming at one of the orderlies.
250
00:14:04,303 --> 00:14:05,596
Hello, Frankie.
251
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,097
What's poppin', Howard?
252
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:10,642
My beautiful new girlfriend told me
you were in a pickle.
253
00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,811
Oh, I wouldn't say "girlfriend."
254
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,730
Let's see how lunch goes.
255
00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:20,444
Anyway, I was told
you girls need to lose some candy, fast.
256
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,989
But you screwed us over once.
Why should we trust you now?
257
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:27,242
One, I never hit a mark twice.
258
00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:29,828
Two, I'm easy to catch.
259
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:33,165
We promised we'd deal with this
when Grace gets back.
260
00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:35,208
Just hear what he has to say.
261
00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:38,045
If the idea sucks,
you can show him the door.
262
00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:42,382
But he will be here until Walden Villas
comes back with the ramp van.
263
00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:46,219
I was also told that there would be lunch.
264
00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:48,764
There's a full lunch on your shirt.
265
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:59,232
Fine. What's the play?
266
00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:02,444
When I heard of your predicament,
I didn't know if I could help.
267
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:06,657
I mean, sure,
I've been in the candy game before.
268
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:10,702
Raised thousands of dollars
for my grandson's baseball team.
269
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,664
That's impressive. What's his name?
270
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:16,041
-Whose name?
-Your grandson's.
271
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:19,252
What grandson? It was a scam, Kojak.
272
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:22,464
When the La Jolla Little League found out,
they shut me down.
273
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:25,008
That's Little League. This is the Bigs.
274
00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,969
I got a big solution.
275
00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:30,597
When I heard you were lousy
with Abba-Zabas,
276
00:15:30,681 --> 00:15:34,935
it reminded me of something I heard
from an old contact.
277
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:39,648
A Norwegian candy smuggler,
Hummer Von Vuckinschloker.
278
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:45,070
He told me
that Zabas weren't sold in Norway,
279
00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:49,032
which resulted
in a huge black market for them.
280
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:53,662
And once we cut in Von Hamantaschen,
what's in it for you?
281
00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:58,208
How about a chance
to help a classy broad like Joanie?
282
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:03,005
Spend a few of my last precious moments
on earth with her.
283
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,507
And 40% off the top.
284
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,508
Oh.
285
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:09,511
Zero percent
and you got yourself a girlfriend.
286
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,694
-Robert, wake up.
-No.
287
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:26,611
Robert!
288
00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:29,281
I think someone broke in.
289
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:32,868
Don't be ridiculous.
We've been right here the whole time.
290
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:38,874
Well, I'll be damned.
291
00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:41,501
How can we have slept through a robbery?
292
00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:45,213
We were on sleep meds.
What the hell's his excuse?
293
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,509
We've gotta figure out our strategy.
294
00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:52,387
I think we can get a reduced sentence
and minimum security.
295
00:16:52,471 --> 00:16:55,057
Unless we ask for total freedom,
which is a long shot.
296
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:56,933
-Minimum security.
-Total freedom.
297
00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:59,978
-You want me to stay in prison?
-No. You heard what Elena said.
298
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,855
Minimum security is our only option.
299
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,024
-I don't know that I--
-I'm paraphrasing.
300
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:07,861
But I heard if you roll the dice and lose,
they could come down harder on you.
301
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,906
Then you could be put away
for who knows how long.
302
00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,240
Am I right, Elena?
303
00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:14,117
-Well...
-Thank you.
304
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,952
It's not like it's a real prison.
305
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:19,372
It's prison-lite. Right?
They're basically country clubs.
306
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,792
You'd be playing tennis
with other tax evaders.
307
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:25,629
I already do that. And if I testify
against my buddies, who'll play with me?
308
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,841
Well, you'll make new friends.
Like you did with Blowtorch.
309
00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:33,095
You think Blowtorches grow on trees?
Tell them no deal.
310
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:34,930
We'll take the deal.
311
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:37,933
-What are you talking about?
-We gotta get real.
312
00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:39,726
You do the crime, you do the time.
313
00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:42,896
No, you do the crime, you pay the dime.
That's the saying, right?
314
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:44,397
-I don't--
-Thank you.
315
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,484
-Don't you want me to get out?
-Of course I do.
316
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:52,114
I just don't want you to run the risk
of landing yourself in jail for longer.
317
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:55,283
This isn't something
you can just negotiate your way out of.
318
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:57,786
-Actually--
-Elena, please.
319
00:17:57,869 --> 00:18:02,165
Honey, as your wife,
I'm asking you, choose the safer option.
320
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:04,709
-For me.
321
00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,920
Wait. How did you sneak
your phone in here?
322
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:11,091
Oh, please. I'm 82. They wouldn't
pat me down if I begged them.
323
00:18:11,675 --> 00:18:12,509
Frankie?
324
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,136
I can't do time.
325
00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:17,514
There has to be
some kind of Hail Mary to get me out.
326
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,016
-So Grace is 82?
-Mm-hm.
327
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,727
I think I have an idea.
328
00:18:23,562 --> 00:18:26,148
-What's going on?
-I'm taking care of business!
329
00:18:26,231 --> 00:18:28,608
I'm gonna make you so proud, mama bear.
330
00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:31,403
Please tell me you're not meeting
with another manufacturer.
331
00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:34,447
Nope! I'm meeting
with a Norwegian candy smuggler.
332
00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:36,241
Oh, God.
333
00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:41,997
We just have to face the fact
that we can't afford that house.
334
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,958
We'll wallow in extreme nachos
and then move on.
335
00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,336
Damn it.
336
00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:52,007
I really thought that was the one.
337
00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:54,885
Maybe it still is.
338
00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:58,346
Look, I may have...
339
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,307
our down payment...
340
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:02,434
right here.
341
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,272
I got it from a cereal box.
342
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:09,107
Really funny.
343
00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:13,111
-What are you doing?
-What are you doing?
344
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,821
Pull over. Where'd it go?
345
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:21,161
Dr. Dumanis was called away on emergency,
346
00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:23,580
but there's no need to be nervous, hon.
347
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,665
-Dr. Green is more than capable.
-Good.
348
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,877
She likes to listen to music
while she operates.
349
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,213
-Wanna look at the options?
-Uh...
350
00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:33,465
Whatever makes her hands
the steadiest is fine.
351
00:19:33,548 --> 00:19:35,842
-I will play her new favorite.
-Great.
352
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,146
Is that Bublé?
353
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,481
It is.
354
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:54,027
How are we feeling today, Mr. Bergstein?
355
00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:58,073
I'm just a wee bit nervous, innit?
356
00:19:59,658 --> 00:20:01,952
More importantly, how are you?
357
00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:06,164
-I'm good.
-Huzzah!
358
00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:09,626
Are you currently taking any medications?
359
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,629
-None me can think of, matey.
-Mm-hm.
360
00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:17,968
-Oh! It's you.
-No, it's not.
361
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:21,263
Alrighty. Yeah.
I will be with you in just a second.
362
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:26,393
Thank you so much.
363
00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:32,691
Nope.
364
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:38,280
Oh.
365
00:20:40,115 --> 00:20:42,534
Why didn't you tell me
it was worth $30,000?
366
00:20:42,617 --> 00:20:43,952
I was about to.
367
00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:46,955
How was I supposed to know
that you were gonna chuck a dollar?
368
00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:50,125
-Who chucks a dollar?
-I thought you were joking.
369
00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:52,836
You told me
you got it out of a cereal box.
370
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:54,879
That was just the beginning of a story.
371
00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:57,048
Very often that's your whole story.
372
00:20:57,132 --> 00:20:59,175
I've had this in my pocket
since I was a kid.
373
00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:01,761
Wow.
374
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,514
Can't believe you've had it for so long.
375
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:10,437
You know, before I got clean, I used
to go on these benders where I'd just...
376
00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:12,897
disappear.
377
00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:17,610
Anyway, years ago,
I was on the tail-end of one...
378
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:19,696
and I was desperate.
379
00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:25,994
So I went to my dealer's house to buy
more shit, but I was a dollar short.
380
00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:30,749
And the guy, he was an asshole,
he wouldn't give me anything.
381
00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:33,960
So, what'd you do?
382
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,464
I dug through my pockets.
383
00:21:38,048 --> 00:21:39,341
And found the coin.
384
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,764
But you still have the coin.
385
00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:49,476
When I looked at it, I remembered...
386
00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:54,064
how insanely happy I was, you know?
387
00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:57,317
Just to get this prize
out of a cereal box.
388
00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:02,113
And there I was, willing to throw it away
389
00:22:02,197 --> 00:22:05,075
for something that was never
gonna make me happy.
390
00:22:07,702 --> 00:22:09,662
So I told the guy to fuck off.
391
00:22:10,413 --> 00:22:12,499
And I checked myself into rehab.
392
00:22:12,582 --> 00:22:15,293
And I've been clean ever since.
393
00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:23,134
Coyote, you can't get rid of that coin.
394
00:22:25,804 --> 00:22:28,932
You have to keep it. No matter what.
395
00:22:30,308 --> 00:22:31,559
No, I don't.
396
00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:35,522
Because I've found something else
that makes me insanely happy.
397
00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:39,526
And I wanna live in that house with you.
398
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,037
-Oh!
-Oh, dear.
399
00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:55,708
Oh.
400
00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:57,794
Oh, my God.
401
00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:02,632
What?
402
00:23:03,216 --> 00:23:05,051
Some watchdog.
403
00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:09,848
Ah.
404
00:23:15,854 --> 00:23:19,732
That two-bit thief.
Doesn't understand the worth of a Tappy.
405
00:23:21,401 --> 00:23:22,735
Oh!
406
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:25,864
This is the most embarrassing crime
I've ever seen.
407
00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:39,377
-You must be Van Helsing.
-No, I am Hummer Von Vuckinschloker.
408
00:23:39,961 --> 00:23:44,424
Howard says you bring the candy.
So you bring the candy?
409
00:23:45,008 --> 00:23:47,302
Feast your eyes on this, Von Shmucker.
410
00:23:50,722 --> 00:23:51,723
What is this?
411
00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:54,517
Candy, of course.
412
00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:55,894
Where are Kit Kats?
413
00:23:55,977 --> 00:23:59,022
Kit Kats? You need Zabas.
Because of the shortage.
414
00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:03,485
What is this, many years ago in the past?
Zabas are everywhere since 2018.
415
00:24:03,568 --> 00:24:05,695
Kit Kats are hot now.
416
00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:08,448
Look, Heidi,
I didn't get in the toilet biz
417
00:24:08,531 --> 00:24:11,784
to get into the candy biz
to be told I've got the wrong candy.
418
00:24:11,868 --> 00:24:14,037
What the fuck is going on?
419
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:20,710
Frankie, the candy jig is up.
420
00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:22,295
We don't need that guy.
421
00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:24,464
According to this candy chat room,
422
00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:27,509
there's a guy from Manila
hunting for Necco Wafers.
423
00:24:27,592 --> 00:24:29,427
-Frankie, enough.
-But, Grace--
424
00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:35,099
No buts. You're not a candy smuggler.
You're not a money launderer.
425
00:24:35,183 --> 00:24:37,268
Not yet but I am trying.
426
00:24:37,352 --> 00:24:41,231
Do you hear yourself?
Even for you, you sound crazy.
427
00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:42,398
What about you?
428
00:24:42,899 --> 00:24:47,487
You made your ex-husband put money
down his pants to hide it from the FBI.
429
00:24:47,570 --> 00:24:50,448
I've never been prouder,
but it was bonkers.
430
00:24:51,115 --> 00:24:55,703
You wanna hear bonkers? I just tried
to keep my current husband in prison.
431
00:24:55,787 --> 00:24:57,914
-Well, that's just bat-shit.
-Yeah.
432
00:24:58,414 --> 00:25:00,750
God. And I lied to the FBI.
433
00:25:01,584 --> 00:25:02,585
I don't do that.
434
00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:05,338
I went
to Miss Caterwall's Finishing School
435
00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:08,299
and turned in girls
for mumbling the Pledge of Allegiance!
436
00:25:08,383 --> 00:25:10,093
Jesus, Grace.
437
00:25:10,176 --> 00:25:11,928
Well, I'm not proud of that.
438
00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:13,429
And I'm not proud of...
439
00:25:14,764 --> 00:25:16,891
Of how I've been acting lately.
440
00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:19,519
When did we become these people?
441
00:25:19,602 --> 00:25:24,065
You know what I think? It all started
when we took that money from the couch.
442
00:25:24,148 --> 00:25:26,818
-We knew it was dirty.
-Yeah, and pretended it wasn't.
443
00:25:26,901 --> 00:25:30,238
And all it's done since then
is made us lose our minds.
444
00:25:30,321 --> 00:25:34,117
Oh, we were so close
to making the Rise Up happen.
445
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,995
I just wanted
to get us across the finish line.
446
00:25:37,078 --> 00:25:40,164
We'll get there. Just not like this.
447
00:25:42,959 --> 00:25:45,837
So, what the hell do we do
with all this damn candy?
448
00:25:49,674 --> 00:25:52,176
You know what? I feel better already.
449
00:25:52,260 --> 00:25:55,263
You really are
our "getting out of messes" person.
450
00:25:55,888 --> 00:25:58,391
Coming from
our "getting into messes" person,
451
00:25:58,474 --> 00:25:59,684
that means a lot.
452
00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:01,144
Speaking of which,
453
00:26:02,186 --> 00:26:05,565
if we don't return the U-Haul,
they will charge us.
454
00:26:06,608 --> 00:26:09,444
-"Us"?
-You. They'll charge you.
455
00:26:16,993 --> 00:26:19,537
Anyone need a turtleneck changed
into a crewneck?
456
00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:20,496
V-necks are extra.
457
00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:25,543
Okay. If we're gonna do this,
we'll need to set up some ground rules.
458
00:26:25,627 --> 00:26:26,628
Sure thing.
459
00:26:26,711 --> 00:26:29,756
-I touch yours, you don't touch mine.
-Yes, that's one.
460
00:26:29,839 --> 00:26:32,050
But, also, no more jokes
until after the procedure.
461
00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:35,928
You got it. I won't put you in stitches
until after the stitches.
462
00:26:36,012 --> 00:26:39,057
I have to be honest.
You really need some new material.
463
00:26:39,140 --> 00:26:41,768
-You think you can do better?
-Well, yes, I do.
464
00:26:41,851 --> 00:26:45,772
Fine, pitch me some new jokes.
But I cut anything I don't like.
465
00:26:45,855 --> 00:26:47,982
Let's just get this over with.
466
00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:58,493
Hear that, Frankie?
467
00:27:00,203 --> 00:27:03,206
That's the sound of no dirty candy.
468
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,168
And no fussy ex-husbands.
469
00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:09,379
Just you and me, baby.
470
00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:13,424
Don't people know not to knock
when I'm drinking?
471
00:27:16,386 --> 00:27:17,387
Nick?
472
00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:20,890
How are you here?
473
00:27:21,474 --> 00:27:22,767
Elena worked a miracle.
474
00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:25,895
She got me a deal
that beat minimum security.
475
00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:30,108
Cute, huh?
And you'll get to see it every day
476
00:27:30,191 --> 00:27:33,277
because I'm here on house arrest with you.
477
00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:34,946
And you.