1 00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:49,258 Oh, my God, Grace. 2 00:00:49,342 --> 00:00:52,553 Did you fall roller-skating down the stairs? 3 00:00:52,637 --> 00:00:56,099 'Cause I specifically said in my video not to try this at home. 4 00:00:56,182 --> 00:00:57,433 Oh, Frankie. 5 00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:01,687 -This was a sex accident. -Ah. 6 00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:03,106 I've been in one of those. 7 00:01:03,189 --> 00:01:05,358 Ask Sol's pelvis. 8 00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:08,194 Well, I'm sure that's a great story for never. 9 00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:11,531 This one was due to Nick's ankle bracelet. 10 00:01:11,614 --> 00:01:13,825 Nick did my Dew! 11 00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,993 This is an untenable situation. 12 00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:17,203 We'll get new Dew. 13 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:20,081 Look, I know Nick living here isn't ideal. 14 00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:21,874 Or good at all. 15 00:01:21,958 --> 00:01:23,376 You have to admit, he's trying. 16 00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:27,505 He hollowed out that bagel and stuffed it with marshmallows for you. 17 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,840 Untoasted. 18 00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:31,884 Well, I'll call the imperceptible slights police. 19 00:01:31,968 --> 00:01:35,555 No need. I made a Nick voodoo doll. 20 00:01:35,638 --> 00:01:36,764 Let's see. 21 00:01:36,848 --> 00:01:38,683 Oh, Mitch McConnell. 22 00:01:39,475 --> 00:01:41,602 -Here he is. 23 00:01:41,686 --> 00:01:44,355 Nick living here wasn't what I wanted either. 24 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:47,358 But let's just give him a chance to prove himself. 25 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,194 Well, he can prove it by getting out of the way today. 26 00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:51,696 Well, he will. 27 00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:55,616 I've made it clear we're doing things on my terms. 28 00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:56,701 Good. 29 00:01:56,784 --> 00:02:00,246 Because our big toilet cheese is due in 30 minutes. 30 00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:02,582 And he thinks I'm kind of a whack job. 31 00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:04,167 I wonder where he got that idea. 32 00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:06,210 Could have been any number of things, Grace. 33 00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:08,296 But after Shark Tank aired, 34 00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:10,423 he decided to give us a second chance, 35 00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:13,050 but only if there's an adult present. 36 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:17,096 I think there's an adult present. Between the two of us, we're 161. 37 00:02:17,722 --> 00:02:21,684 God! It is nice to have a bathroom with a door again. 38 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,895 Though I do miss the applause. 39 00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:26,606 -It's a little prison humor. 40 00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:29,400 Nick, um-- 41 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,485 Nick, we're... 42 00:02:32,028 --> 00:02:34,197 We're gonna have a meeting in about a half hour, 43 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,823 -so if you could just-- -Of course. 44 00:02:35,907 --> 00:02:38,242 I'll grab my book and head to the country club. 45 00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:40,745 That's what I'm calling the bedroom. Ah. 46 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,705 That's depressing. Hey, kooky. 47 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,665 Hey, Third Wheel. 48 00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:48,419 Okay, okay. I know you're pissed. 49 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,713 But as a thank-you to both of you, 50 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,049 I swallowed what little pride I have left 51 00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:55,301 and reached out to Mark Cuban about your toilet. 52 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,762 Really? Oh, my God. 53 00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,305 That must've killed you. 54 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:02,099 Oh, he still has the power to hurt my feelings. 55 00:03:02,934 --> 00:03:05,353 That's really something, huh, Frankie? 56 00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:06,604 Still out of Dew. 57 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,898 I don't even know if he's gonna call back. 58 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:13,152 I heard him laughing in the background, but I owed it to both of you. 59 00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:15,988 Well, it's much appreciated. 60 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:21,077 Oh, I'm a human Tesla, don't mind me. 61 00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:26,707 Just go about your business as if I'm not even here. 62 00:03:26,791 --> 00:03:30,044 How are we gonna have a meeting with the Birdman of Alcatraz 63 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:32,588 -holding up the wall? -Don't worry. 64 00:03:32,672 --> 00:03:34,882 I'll play down the house arrest thing 65 00:03:34,966 --> 00:03:37,093 and play up the dropping-the-charges part. 66 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:40,388 Or we could just pretend the jail thing never happened. 67 00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,723 Oh, I am great at pretending I'm not a criminal. 68 00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:46,143 I did it for a decade before anyone caught on. 69 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:55,987 So, besides the boxes, they also stole your watch, 70 00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:59,865 some ornamental bookends, and an assortment of Hawaiian shirts. 71 00:03:59,949 --> 00:04:01,492 Did I get everything? 72 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,786 He stole my sense of security. 73 00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,454 Did you write that down? 74 00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,582 -Yeah. -Can I see? 75 00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,459 Fine, I'll write it down. 76 00:04:10,543 --> 00:04:14,088 Detective, what is the plan for catching this marauder? 77 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:17,550 Well, we have your grainy footage of probably a person, 78 00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,051 so we'll run with that. 79 00:04:19,135 --> 00:04:22,013 How often do you catch these types of criminals? 80 00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:24,932 -We caught a guy in 2006. -Aha. 81 00:04:25,016 --> 00:04:27,268 You hear that, Sol? That's reassuring. 82 00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,812 Although, to be honest, he turned himself in. 83 00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:32,648 And in a bizarre twist of events, turns out 84 00:04:32,732 --> 00:04:35,318 -he didn't even do it. -I feel so violated. 85 00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:38,029 We were home, and even that didn't deter him. 86 00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:40,990 If I hadn't taken a sleeping pill, this never would've happened. 87 00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:43,284 Probably lucky you didn't wake up. 88 00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:44,910 No, he's lucky I didn't wake up. 89 00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:46,579 No one's lucky. 90 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,748 We were robbed. 91 00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:51,417 Now I don't feel safe in my own home. 92 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,420 That is how I felt when I got robbed. 93 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,714 Didn't catch that guy either. 94 00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,800 So, what do you suggest we do? 95 00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:02,845 -Should we weapon-up? -Oh, God, no. 96 00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:04,889 I don't even like having mine. 97 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,933 But you do have a very active neighborhood watch. 98 00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:11,187 Oh. That's good. We can take care of ourselves. 99 00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:14,982 Or we can hide in our house, put bars on our windows, 100 00:05:15,066 --> 00:05:17,818 -and get a bigger dog! -Sol, look at me. 101 00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:20,446 Have I ever let anything bad happen to you? 102 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:21,947 Oh, I don't know. 103 00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:24,367 Maybe we should ask the detective who's here 104 00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,285 because something bad happened to me. 105 00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:29,163 It's never gonna happen again. Not on my watch. 106 00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:30,539 Or mine. 107 00:05:30,623 --> 00:05:32,291 Because it was stolen. 108 00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:39,673 Hey. How was your walk? 109 00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:42,051 Great. I peed, Spit didn't. 110 00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:44,011 We're both adjusting to the neighborhood. 111 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:48,015 Why are you ironing? You iron when you're nervous or I need something ironed. 112 00:05:48,099 --> 00:05:51,352 I also iron when I'm excited. I'm very excited. 113 00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:54,397 -My parents are finally gonna meet you. -Bullshit. You're nervous. 114 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,858 -I can hear your intestines from here. -Okay. It's just... 115 00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:01,445 my family's not like your family. We like being together, 116 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:04,949 and try to be, you know, nice to each other. 117 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,158 No. 118 00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:07,827 Yeah. 119 00:06:08,661 --> 00:06:09,578 Really? 120 00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:13,999 Thought the whole point of family is you don't have to be nice. 121 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,837 Well, now I'm nervous. Here, give me that. 122 00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:21,298 My parents are gonna love you. 123 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:25,594 And I don't need you to be nice, I just need you to be yourself. 124 00:06:25,678 --> 00:06:28,180 But maybe slightly less yourself. 125 00:06:28,973 --> 00:06:30,474 Excuse? 126 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:34,603 For example, try to throw in the occasional "darn" 127 00:06:34,687 --> 00:06:36,689 when you're inclined to say "motherfucker." 128 00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:39,525 Maybe we should fucking cancel this motherfucker, Barry. 129 00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,110 Gosh darn it. 130 00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,278 Okay. 131 00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:49,285 Okay, just don't-- Smooth, easy strokes. 132 00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:50,578 There you go. 133 00:06:51,996 --> 00:06:53,539 It's gonna be fine. 134 00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,499 I'm afraid it's not going to be fine. 135 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,669 -And thank God I invited Mallory. -Wait. 136 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,713 Mallory's coming and you didn't tell me? 137 00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:02,715 The original plan was to only have Mallory, 138 00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:05,843 -but she refused to answer to "Brianna." -My parents were expecting 139 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,470 -it was just gonna be us. -Look. 140 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,597 I want your parents to like me. 141 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,433 And Mallory is like a golden retriever. Everybody loves her. 142 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:16,812 If some of that puppy love falls off of her and onto me, it's a win-win. 143 00:07:16,896 --> 00:07:20,149 -You really should have told me. -I already apologized. 144 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:21,150 Check your texts. 145 00:07:23,152 --> 00:07:24,403 Oh, wow. 146 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,697 There's your clitoris. 147 00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,658 I'll take that as "apology accepted." 148 00:07:29,742 --> 00:07:32,995 Oh, God. Wait till my diary hears about this. 149 00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:37,917 So don't mention Abba-Zabas or Big Hunks. 150 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:42,463 Or that Blockbuster had a warrant out for my arrest. 151 00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:44,965 We know who won that waiting game. 152 00:07:45,049 --> 00:07:47,843 -Oh, he's early. I like him already. 153 00:07:47,927 --> 00:07:49,094 That's good, Grace. 154 00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:51,805 That's exactly what a mature adult would say. 155 00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:54,308 Wait till you see his tidy mustache. 156 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,646 Oh. You shaved. 157 00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:00,022 I wax. 158 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:05,486 I'm looking for Nick Skolka. I'm his probation officer, Patty Smyka. 159 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:08,322 He's the one plugged into the wall. 160 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,699 Patty. I wasn't expecting you. 161 00:08:10,783 --> 00:08:13,327 That's kind of the point of home visits. 162 00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:15,204 Dear! 163 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:19,291 This is Patty! My probation officer! 164 00:08:19,375 --> 00:08:21,627 Patty! This is Grace. 165 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:25,214 Hello, Grace! Nice to meet you! 166 00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:27,466 She's not quite ready for visitors. 167 00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:30,719 Could I have a moment to get her into her comfies? 168 00:08:31,262 --> 00:08:35,432 Sure. I'll give you one minute while I survey the exterior. 169 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:36,642 Thank you. 170 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:41,105 Nick, what the hell is going on? 171 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,399 And should I change into my comfies too? 172 00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:45,401 Quick story about my plea deal. 173 00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:48,362 I have house arrest because my lawyer told them 174 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,949 I needed to stay home to take care of my enfeebled wife. 175 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,076 Oh, my God, Grace. That's you. 176 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,869 What the fuck, Nick? 177 00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:57,496 I know, Grace, but please. 178 00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,540 I had to get out of prison, and-- 179 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:04,378 All I need you to do is act a smidge decrepit, and Patti will be on her way. 180 00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,088 It'll be a fun improv. 181 00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:10,050 Your character is completely incapacitated, 182 00:09:10,134 --> 00:09:12,636 and my character gets to stay out of jail. 183 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,680 But our toileteer is coming. 184 00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:17,266 I need Grace to seem uber-competent. 185 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,643 I am uber-competent. 186 00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:21,270 I know that. 187 00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:24,106 But if Patty knows that, she'll send me back to jail. 188 00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:27,026 And what if I promise Grace will write you this time? 189 00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:28,277 Grace, please. 190 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:34,533 I know it's a lot, but I'm just asking you to pretend for a little while. 191 00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:36,118 Grace, please. 192 00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,540 Okay. I mean, yeah, I'll-- 193 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,500 I'll do it. 194 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:44,918 Thank you. 195 00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:47,963 I'll be right back with your afghan and drool pot. 196 00:09:48,047 --> 00:09:50,382 Don't-- No drool pot! 197 00:09:50,466 --> 00:09:53,010 I can't believe you're doing this. 198 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,429 What choice do I have? 199 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:59,224 He called Cuban for us. You know how hard that was for him? 200 00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:01,727 Oh, how do we even know he called Cuban? 201 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,812 He lied to get house arrest. 202 00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:07,358 This whole thing is gonna be done before our guy shows up. 203 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,569 Honey, are you cold? 204 00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:13,197 -No. -Are you sure? 205 00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:16,325 Be a little cold. 206 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,040 You got us a bird. 207 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,918 What a great housewarming gift. 208 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,378 What you gonna name it? 209 00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:28,629 -Mr. Beaks. -Bird. 210 00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,506 -Oh. -Bird's good too. 211 00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:32,007 So, Brianna. 212 00:10:32,091 --> 00:10:37,346 You're the one that he's engaged to, but not going to marry. 213 00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:40,391 Which is different than the one he's having a baby with, 214 00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:44,436 -but is never going to be with. -Tricky, and you got it in one shot. 215 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,563 -Good job, Hal. -Oh, it's Al. 216 00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:49,108 I knew that. The H is silent. 217 00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:57,324 Is there any possibility that you guys might, you know, 218 00:10:57,408 --> 00:10:59,076 get married down the line? 219 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,746 Great question. 220 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,665 Wine, anybody? 221 00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,419 Oh, uh, we don't drink before sunset. 222 00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:10,003 And even then it's just soda. 223 00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:11,672 Caffeine is a drug too. 224 00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:14,258 I got busted a lot for that in high school. 225 00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:17,761 Well, that's adorable as all heck. 226 00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:18,887 Uh-oh. 227 00:11:18,971 --> 00:11:22,307 Oh, someone's gonna need to put some money in the family swear jar. 228 00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:23,934 -Oh. -Really? "Heck"? 229 00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:26,437 Are you fucking kidding me? 230 00:11:27,813 --> 00:11:29,314 Oh, my stars. 231 00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:32,359 Uh... Here. 232 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:34,903 Pay up. 233 00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:37,906 Okay. 234 00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,534 I'm preemptively putting 40 in. 235 00:11:41,118 --> 00:11:44,621 Yeah, we bought Mr. Beaks with the money from our swear jar. 236 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:49,543 Ten years of swears to buy a new bird brother for Barry. 237 00:11:50,461 --> 00:11:51,795 I'm gonna get that wine now. 238 00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:54,631 Okay. 239 00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,759 So, um... 240 00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:59,845 -I brought you a little welcome gift. -Oh... 241 00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:02,347 Nothing big. Just all of our best-selling products. 242 00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:05,476 Oh, Mallory. You didn't have to get us a gift. 243 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:08,604 -What a thoughtful gesture. -Whatever that is, it's from both of us. 244 00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:10,105 Yes. It is. 245 00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:12,608 Hey, let's take a family photie. 246 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,444 That's what we call a photo. 247 00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:18,238 Really testing me today. 248 00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:19,865 Everyone on the couch. 249 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,913 Okay, you all need to shove down. 250 00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:27,790 My left side's my good side. 251 00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:28,749 -It's true. -Okay. 252 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,375 Shove a little bit. 253 00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:31,460 Here we go. 254 00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:34,379 Hey, what's your passcode on the phone? 255 00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:37,841 Uh... 3-8-2... 256 00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:42,304 You know what? It's "fuck me." 257 00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,348 Okay? The passcode is "fuck me." 258 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,557 Okay. 259 00:12:45,641 --> 00:12:48,101 Just put that on my tab. 260 00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:49,895 Okay. Here we go. 261 00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,980 All right. Say "cheese"! 262 00:12:52,064 --> 00:12:54,483 -Cheese! 263 00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:55,651 All right. 264 00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,487 -Okay. How about a silly one? -Okay. 265 00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:03,617 I cannot wait to see that last one. 266 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:04,910 These are great. 267 00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:06,370 Oh, my gosh. 268 00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,497 Oh, wow. 269 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,166 Oh, must be a good one. Let's see. 270 00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:12,501 Yeah. Just one sec. 271 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,711 Brianna? You're getting a call. It's your boss. 272 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,463 Aren't you my boss? 273 00:13:17,548 --> 00:13:19,675 Okay. Let's take a look at this guy. 274 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,261 You have naked pictures on here! 275 00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:23,971 Yes. It's a phone. 276 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,557 You need to delete them. 277 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,016 Oh, I'm not deleting anything. 278 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,352 I literally bent over backwards for those. 279 00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:32,396 Yeah. I saw that one. 280 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,898 You need to transfer them to your laptop. 281 00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:37,985 -Okay. Fine. -Okay. 282 00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:41,071 And I need the name of your yoga instructor. 283 00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:44,741 Num, num, num... 284 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:47,870 Ah. Look who's getting her appetite back. 285 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:50,706 All right. You've seen it all now. She's old, she can't walk. 286 00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:53,917 She probably doesn't even remember I'm her sister. 287 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,253 Adelaide? Is that you? 288 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,838 See? Case closed. 289 00:13:57,921 --> 00:14:01,925 Please leave so we can enjoy what little time we have left 290 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,428 with this hollow shell of a woman. 291 00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,513 I'm sorry, I can't leave just yet. 292 00:14:06,597 --> 00:14:09,099 But don't worry, I'm only here for a few more hours. 293 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,643 Oh! That's great news. 294 00:14:11,727 --> 00:14:13,604 -Uh... 295 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:16,899 Excuse me, but I have an important meeting, 296 00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:20,777 that I guess I will be taking on the patio! 297 00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,696 Anyone care to join? 298 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:25,449 -I... -I love you too. 299 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,492 Have a nice meeting, Adelaide. 300 00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:29,036 Yeah, thanks. 301 00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:31,580 Everyone, enjoy your decisions. 302 00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:49,264 Mr. Purcelli. 303 00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:51,767 The gays of 1420. 304 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:55,771 I knew you would come crawling to me for help someday. 305 00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:57,564 Thank you for coming over. 306 00:14:57,648 --> 00:15:01,151 We are very excited about joining the neighborhood watch. 307 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,445 Oh, really? When I sent you an email, 308 00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:08,492 Sol responded by saying I was running a paramilitary organization. 309 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:12,287 And you responded by saying "unsubscribe." 310 00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:16,124 So our support in the past hasn't been deep, but... 311 00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:19,127 The cavalry has arrived. 312 00:15:19,211 --> 00:15:22,005 Robert, I'm not going on neighborhood watch. 313 00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,465 I'm barely safe here. 314 00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:26,051 You can't be afraid the rest of your life. 315 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,762 -You have to face your fears. -No, you don't. 316 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,766 Mr. Purcelli, as a man who patrols our streets, 317 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,310 would you please tell him how safe our neighborhood is? 318 00:15:35,394 --> 00:15:40,732 Oh, I wish I could, but it's Thunder Road out there. 319 00:15:40,816 --> 00:15:44,486 Kids are throwing toilet paper at Halloween, 320 00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:50,617 I'm finding feces that couldn't possibly be left by a domesticated animal, 321 00:15:50,701 --> 00:15:56,873 and on the corner, some brute killed a trash can and didn't even stop. 322 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,583 -Ha. -I think that was me. 323 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,420 Even if the kids with all that toilet paper 324 00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:05,215 cleaned up after the animals with the giant feces, 325 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,926 I still wouldn't go out there. 326 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:13,598 Just one night and I promise you, Sol, you will regain your sense of security. 327 00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:15,517 Or be dead by dawn. 328 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,518 Or... 329 00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,315 Take in that view! 330 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,193 Taken in. 331 00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:28,321 You know, Curt, for some of Earth's creatures, 332 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:30,198 the ocean is their toilet. 333 00:16:30,282 --> 00:16:35,620 But for us, toilets are our toilet. You hear my song? 334 00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:38,415 When is Grace joining us? 335 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:45,130 Oh, soon. Uh... But before she gets here, I would love to hear about you, Curt. 336 00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:48,550 What makes Curt tick? 337 00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,678 How'd you get into the toilet biz? 338 00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:55,348 Well, my dad was in toilets. His dad was in toilets. 339 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,392 His dad was in outhouses. 340 00:16:57,476 --> 00:16:59,186 I'm gonna go out on a limb 341 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:02,564 and assume that his dad was in ground holes. 342 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,608 Can we start this meeting, please? 343 00:17:07,486 --> 00:17:10,530 As soon as you tell me about these tiny toilets. 344 00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:13,658 Please. 345 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:17,621 That's a photo of a sushi roll I had for lunch last week. 346 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,373 I didn't prepare this slideshow. The phone does it for you. 347 00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:24,461 Well, I need a copy of these for my Barry's Lunches Scrapbook. 348 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,005 Yeah, hey! Can we see that silly photo? 349 00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:31,551 Just a second. And, done. 350 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,683 -Okay, let's see. -What? 351 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,354 Al, you're hilarious. 352 00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,815 Well, I've always had a putty face. 353 00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:45,732 "Putty face." 354 00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:50,487 -Spit, no! 355 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,115 Hey. Brianna, are you printing something? 356 00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:56,409 No, no, no. 357 00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,286 Stop. 358 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:00,997 All right. 359 00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:04,084 We're gonna need a bigger swear jar! 360 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:09,965 It must have been so hard for you while Nick was away, Mrs. Skolka! 361 00:18:10,549 --> 00:18:11,675 Who's Nick? 362 00:18:12,843 --> 00:18:15,262 Can I borrow my sister? 363 00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:18,682 I wanna be with Adelaide! 364 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,225 She's a little tired. 365 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:23,145 She's had a big day with all these visitors. 366 00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:29,192 Right you are. Look at that, 3:47, time for Grace's nap. 367 00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:33,321 Oh, poor dear. Probably won't wake up till tomorrow. 368 00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:35,782 If she wakes up. God, let her wake up. 369 00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:39,286 I guess you should probably go now. 370 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:40,954 Actually, I can't go yet. 371 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,330 Why not? 372 00:18:42,414 --> 00:18:46,459 I have to show you the perimeter so you don't set off your monitor. 373 00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:48,503 Oh, great. Let's do that. 374 00:18:48,587 --> 00:18:49,588 Oh, God. 375 00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:53,758 What about Grace? We can't just leave her there. 376 00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:57,179 Oh, don't worry. I'll look over old Adelaide. 377 00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:58,680 I mean, I'm Adelaide. 378 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:01,433 Adelaide will look after her. Just go. 379 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,394 Jesus. 380 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:06,730 What are you printing? 381 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:11,943 This is just some boring work stuff. You know, the beauty biz. 382 00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:15,572 You know what they say, the cream never stops. 383 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:16,907 Never heard that one. 384 00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:19,784 -I'd love to see what you're working on. -I'm sorry. 385 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,536 It is-- This is top secret. 386 00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:26,958 What could be so secretive that you couldn't share it with-- 387 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,002 Oh. Oh... 388 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,548 -Oh, thank God. 389 00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,009 I know what to do. 390 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,429 Okay, I'm trying to cancel the print job, 391 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,014 and it's not letting me. 392 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:42,599 Hey, I don't wanna brag, 393 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,809 but I happen to be a bit of a computer whiz. 394 00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:46,895 -Let me take a look at this. -No! 395 00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,980 Never fear, the paper is here. 396 00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:51,024 Damn it, Barry, read the room! 397 00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:02,869 -There's that temper he mentioned. -Oof. 398 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:08,833 That's... 399 00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:13,838 That is not me. 400 00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:15,757 If we take that into account, 401 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,301 then our ROI projection should increase 402 00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,470 by 20 percent in the first year. 403 00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:25,100 Well, you know my motto. "It's good to sell a lot of toilets." 404 00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:27,686 -Amen, sister. -And your marketing plan. 405 00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:30,063 Well, initially we plan to pro-- 406 00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,856 Oh, patio's full! 407 00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:34,985 -She got out. -Go on. 408 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:38,655 She okay? 409 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:39,990 Oh, here. Hey, hey. 410 00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:43,285 That's just the way she looks when she goes into her thought palace. 411 00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:45,996 You're lucky she didn't go to her tear dungeon. 412 00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:46,913 Not pretty. 413 00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:49,874 Why are they taking the one who makes sense away? 414 00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:50,792 As you know, 415 00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:55,005 we have had a lot of interest in our toilets since appearing on Shark Tank. 416 00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:56,423 I'll be honest, Curt, 417 00:20:56,506 --> 00:21:00,385 we're fielding calls internationally and in Europe. 418 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:03,555 She's taking a meeting inside right now while I'm still here? 419 00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:05,223 I'm not one for hardball, 420 00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:09,352 but this is the hottest thing in toilets since the flush. 421 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:14,274 So I guess I have to ask you: are you in? 422 00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:17,110 Actually, I couldn't be further out. 423 00:21:17,736 --> 00:21:20,405 Really thought that was gonna go the other way. 424 00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:23,491 -Here we go. 425 00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:29,289 I'm sorry. I have to take this. 426 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:31,666 Hey, Cubes. 427 00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,209 Uh-huh. 428 00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:37,088 So you want back in? What's your offer? 429 00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:40,216 Fuck you, you piece of shit. 430 00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:41,634 No! 431 00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:43,428 She's having a seizure. 432 00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:48,266 She's fine. Don't give me this "final offer" bullshit. 433 00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:50,852 You haven't changed a bit, you son of a bitch. 434 00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:52,354 He hung up. 435 00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:54,397 It'll be okay-- 436 00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:55,982 He's leaving! 437 00:21:58,068 --> 00:22:00,070 Oh, he's leaving! 438 00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,783 Are you gonna just sit there and drool? 439 00:22:04,866 --> 00:22:07,285 What do you expect her to do? She just had a seizure. 440 00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:08,328 Wait. 441 00:22:08,411 --> 00:22:12,791 Oh, thank God! Her medicine is finally kicking in. 442 00:22:12,874 --> 00:22:16,836 As I said earlier, we wanna focus on clear messaging. 443 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,799 I mean, The Rise Up isn't just another toilet, 444 00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:25,303 it's a product that will elevate your quality of life. 445 00:22:25,887 --> 00:22:28,056 Okay, are you pitching me or him? 446 00:22:28,139 --> 00:22:30,475 You! You. Oh, he's nobody. 447 00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:32,644 And my heart breaks again. Come on. 448 00:22:32,727 --> 00:22:34,312 Let me take you to bed. 449 00:22:34,396 --> 00:22:37,941 Sir, are you so eager to close this deal 450 00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:42,529 that you are trying to bed my partner-slash-sister? 451 00:22:42,612 --> 00:22:48,034 It's so sad to see this kind of behavior still so prevalent in the toilet biz. 452 00:22:48,618 --> 00:22:54,332 Look, I don't know what's going on here, but toilets are serious business. 453 00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:56,167 This isn't sinks. 454 00:22:58,461 --> 00:23:00,964 Oh, God. Oh, God. 455 00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:03,758 You're gonna be okay. 456 00:23:03,842 --> 00:23:05,677 She's in there somewhere. 457 00:23:07,762 --> 00:23:10,140 Looks like you've got your hands full. 458 00:23:10,223 --> 00:23:13,726 So I'll leave you to take care of your wife and her sister. 459 00:23:14,811 --> 00:23:17,689 It was so nice meeting you, Grace! 460 00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:20,692 And you too, Adelaide. 461 00:23:23,528 --> 00:23:25,530 Would you two join me at the charging station 462 00:23:25,613 --> 00:23:28,116 for a long-winded apology? Please? 463 00:23:31,286 --> 00:23:33,329 I get why Purcelli told us to bring snacks. 464 00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:34,372 I was starving. 465 00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:37,125 We've been out here 15 minutes, 466 00:23:37,208 --> 00:23:41,212 and you've finished two ice cream cones and a bag of pretzels. 467 00:23:41,296 --> 00:23:43,339 You still mad that I ate your ice cream cone? 468 00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:47,010 We both know that was never my ice cream cone. 469 00:23:50,889 --> 00:23:52,140 It's so quiet. 470 00:23:54,184 --> 00:23:55,226 Too quiet. 471 00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:58,438 Sol, you have nothing to worry about. I'm here with you. 472 00:23:58,855 --> 00:24:02,233 It's the fact that I'm here with you that surprises me. 473 00:24:03,151 --> 00:24:04,152 Oh, God. 474 00:24:05,612 --> 00:24:06,529 What was that? 475 00:24:07,447 --> 00:24:09,574 Oh, God! Every man for himself! 476 00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:12,785 What the hell? 477 00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:15,788 It-- It was just a raccoon. 478 00:24:15,872 --> 00:24:19,459 But you didn't know that when you shoved me in front of you. 479 00:24:19,542 --> 00:24:21,961 Well, it was tactical. You were covering the front, 480 00:24:22,045 --> 00:24:25,757 and I was making sure that nothing was coming from behind. 481 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,634 The scary thing was in front! 482 00:24:27,717 --> 00:24:29,928 The important thing is we are okay. 483 00:24:30,011 --> 00:24:31,804 We are not okay. 484 00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:45,777 On the upside, it was one of your less graphic photos. 485 00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:49,781 My legs were akimbo, Mallory. 486 00:24:49,864 --> 00:24:51,366 Everything was akimbo. 487 00:24:51,449 --> 00:24:54,536 Okay. I'm gonna need the whole bottle. They hate me. 488 00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:56,996 They won't forget you. 489 00:24:58,039 --> 00:25:01,251 We wanna make sure you're making the best decisions. 490 00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:04,170 She said herself she never wants to marry you. 491 00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:07,507 She sent me that nude as an apology for inviting Mallory tonight. 492 00:25:07,590 --> 00:25:08,716 Which she only did 493 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,135 because she wanted to make a good impression on you. 494 00:25:11,219 --> 00:25:15,014 When you wanna apologize to someone, you should say "I'm sorry." 495 00:25:15,098 --> 00:25:16,808 But this is our love language, Mom. 496 00:25:16,891 --> 00:25:19,978 Question is, is this the right relationship for you? 497 00:25:20,728 --> 00:25:22,772 Whoa. Whoa. 498 00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:23,898 Okay. 499 00:25:23,982 --> 00:25:26,025 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 500 00:25:26,109 --> 00:25:29,529 Okay. Really wanted you guys to like me and I can see I've lost that battle. 501 00:25:29,612 --> 00:25:30,488 Agreed. 502 00:25:31,739 --> 00:25:35,243 Now, I know I might be a little-- 503 00:25:35,326 --> 00:25:36,911 -Crass? -Vulgar? 504 00:25:36,995 --> 00:25:40,373 Was gonna say "unconventional," but... 505 00:25:42,959 --> 00:25:46,045 Look, I love your son like nobody's ever loved your son before. 506 00:25:46,129 --> 00:25:48,047 And I'd kill for him. 507 00:25:49,424 --> 00:25:50,633 You don't have to like me. 508 00:25:50,717 --> 00:25:52,302 You just have to... 509 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,139 You have to forget what my butthole looks like. 510 00:25:59,100 --> 00:26:01,311 And I just happen to love 511 00:26:01,394 --> 00:26:05,648 this crass, vulgar, 512 00:26:06,858 --> 00:26:10,153 -unconventional woman with all my heart. -Well, I respectfully disagree 513 00:26:10,236 --> 00:26:11,279 with your choice. 514 00:26:11,362 --> 00:26:14,198 Well, I choose Brianna anyway. 515 00:26:15,950 --> 00:26:22,081 Oh, and just so you know, I sent Brianna an apology photo too. 516 00:26:22,582 --> 00:26:25,543 No! You sent that to me. Yeah. 517 00:26:26,753 --> 00:26:29,130 And you should get that mole checked. 518 00:26:29,714 --> 00:26:30,632 Okay. 519 00:26:31,090 --> 00:26:34,385 So now we've got no Curt and no Cuban. 520 00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:38,139 You're a real Benjamin Arnold. 521 00:26:38,222 --> 00:26:39,724 Benedict Arnold. 522 00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:43,686 No, I don't want an iced tea- slash-lemonade drink right now. 523 00:26:43,770 --> 00:26:45,188 I know you're mad at me, 524 00:26:45,271 --> 00:26:48,399 but trust me, I'm mad enough at myself for both of us. 525 00:26:50,234 --> 00:26:52,654 I don't even drink martinis. 526 00:26:52,737 --> 00:26:56,658 If you were not so self-absorbed, you might have known that. 527 00:27:00,328 --> 00:27:01,871 You have every right to be angry. 528 00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:04,499 I fucked things up with Cuban. 529 00:27:04,582 --> 00:27:06,209 You fucked up our chance with Curt. 530 00:27:06,292 --> 00:27:09,629 Yes, and I feel horrible. But you understand the stakes for me. 531 00:27:09,712 --> 00:27:12,965 Yeah, I do. But you never seem to understand the stakes for me. 532 00:27:13,049 --> 00:27:15,468 I thought me going to prison would have stakes. 533 00:27:16,427 --> 00:27:18,137 That's not the point. 534 00:27:18,596 --> 00:27:21,766 I keep thinking you've changed or that we've changed, 535 00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:24,560 but I'm realizing that none of that may be true, 536 00:27:24,644 --> 00:27:29,732 because, look, we still end up in exactly the same place we always do. 537 00:27:29,816 --> 00:27:31,275 I said I was sorry. 538 00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,194 Well, that's not enough. 539 00:27:33,277 --> 00:27:34,320 What is enough? 540 00:27:34,404 --> 00:27:36,531 How about you don't screw up to begin with? 541 00:27:36,614 --> 00:27:38,282 How about I go back to prison? 542 00:27:41,411 --> 00:27:42,495 Are you serious? 543 00:27:42,578 --> 00:27:45,039 You have to admit, our relationship was better then. 544 00:27:45,123 --> 00:27:48,251 Not for me. Newsflash: prison blows. 545 00:27:48,334 --> 00:27:51,045 I don't want you to go back to prison, but I-- 546 00:27:51,129 --> 00:27:53,172 Couldn't you find somebody else to live with? 547 00:27:53,673 --> 00:27:56,718 You're my only option. Pardon me for thinking I'd live with my wife. 548 00:27:56,801 --> 00:27:59,011 I don't wanna be your wife anymore. 549 00:28:02,557 --> 00:28:04,058 I think you've made that clear. 550 00:28:04,142 --> 00:28:08,187 And so, to protect my feelings, I don't wanna be your husband anymore. 551 00:28:09,647 --> 00:28:11,524 Well, then maybe you should go. 552 00:28:12,567 --> 00:28:13,484 Watch me. 553 00:28:23,536 --> 00:28:25,413 Warning: perimeter breach. 554 00:28:25,496 --> 00:28:27,623 -Warning: perimeter breach. 555 00:28:27,707 --> 00:28:29,375 Warning: perimeter breach. 556 00:28:29,459 --> 00:28:31,127 Anyone up for some Boggle? 557 00:28:31,794 --> 00:28:32,670 Coming!