1 00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:54,472 This is insane. 2 00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:57,642 This is the farthest thing from insane. 3 00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:01,646 We're doing something good for all the folks back home who need us. 4 00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:03,356 We're the Bonida Bandidas. 5 00:01:03,439 --> 00:01:06,442 We are not the Bonida Bandidas. 6 00:01:06,526 --> 00:01:08,945 We have to be extremely careful. 7 00:01:09,028 --> 00:01:11,656 I don't wanna end up in a Mexican jail. 8 00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,449 I promise that won't happen. 9 00:01:13,533 --> 00:01:17,328 I used to do this all the time back in the '70s. 10 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,956 Of course, I was smuggling other drugs in hard fruits, 11 00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:23,417 but the same basic principle applies. 12 00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:26,838 In a pinch, your safest hiding spot is your holes. 13 00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:32,844 Well, Frankie, not all of us are blessed with cavernous orifices. 14 00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,095 You'll get there. 15 00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:36,722 Speaking of orifices, let me do the talking. 16 00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:37,765 You? 17 00:01:37,849 --> 00:01:41,519 Last I checked, I'm the only one who hablas the español. 18 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,147 For the last time, you do not speak Spanish. 19 00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:46,816 Save what you've picked up from telenovelas. 20 00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:52,363 For your information, Corazones Mentirosos is an educational telenovela. 21 00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:56,450 It's about a former call girl named Valentina 22 00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:59,495 who escapes the cartel and joins a convent, 23 00:01:59,579 --> 00:02:02,206 and it is muy hot as shit. 24 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:04,083 Well, we will follow your lead 25 00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:07,837 when we need to untangle egg beaters from a human's hair. 26 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,381 But there is too much at stake here. 27 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:11,299 I hear you, Grace. 28 00:02:11,382 --> 00:02:15,094 That's why I'm gonna make a phone call to my contact, Psycho. 29 00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:17,680 Don't look him in the eye, and don't call him Psycho. 30 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:19,432 No! No call. 31 00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:20,850 No Psycho. 32 00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:25,271 In fact, I'm gonna keep your phone and your passport. 33 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:27,899 I know how you like to lose these things. 34 00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:35,656 Why is Arlene's letter to Dr. Ramirez ripped and re-taped? 35 00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:37,742 Damn post office. 36 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:39,076 You read this. 37 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,913 In my defense, I read everyone's mail. 38 00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:43,581 Well, what does it say? 39 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:48,127 Grace, that's a private letter between Arlene and Dr. Ramirez and myself. 40 00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:49,754 Shame on you. 41 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:52,924 All I will say is, 42 00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:55,801 they're having an affair, she's breaking up with him, 43 00:02:55,885 --> 00:02:57,637 probably because of her brain. 44 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,932 I didn't know she was having an affair. Now she's breaking up with him? 45 00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:01,974 Tell me everything. 46 00:03:02,058 --> 00:03:03,601 No can do. We're here. 47 00:03:04,727 --> 00:03:05,770 What? 48 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,356 When did we cross the border? 49 00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:09,941 I didn't think it was that easy. 50 00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:12,151 Getting into Mexico is easy. 51 00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:15,863 The hard part is getting back with a keister full of drugs. 52 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:38,886 Bravissimo! 53 00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:40,846 That was perfect, Robert. 54 00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:43,516 Worth keeping me up all night to memorize. 55 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:44,809 Come on, Sol. 56 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:47,520 You always wanted to be a mobster's gun moll. 57 00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:48,896 The only way that'll happen 58 00:03:48,980 --> 00:03:51,816 is if Peter accepts my apology and gives me back my part. 59 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,067 And you think he'll show? 60 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,986 I have a 25-year-old Scotch. 61 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:55,987 He'll show. 62 00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:59,240 Besides, he won't be able to resist the apology of a lifetime. 63 00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:02,618 In fact, I wouldn't be shocked if he filmed it. 64 00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:05,204 Robert, you left the oven on. 65 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,164 -No, I didn't. -You did. 66 00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:08,833 You did the other day too. 67 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,294 Can you blame me if I'm a little scatterbrained? 68 00:04:11,377 --> 00:04:13,629 I'm in the fight of my life to win back this role. 69 00:04:13,713 --> 00:04:15,965 It's been pulling all my focus lately. 70 00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:17,842 Okay. No need to get defensive. 71 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,719 Just making sure you're okay. 72 00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,929 I assure you, Sol, I'm fine. 73 00:04:22,013 --> 00:04:25,975 Besides, everyone our age has moments of forgetfulness. 74 00:04:26,559 --> 00:04:29,061 Does everyone put their hats in the fridge? 75 00:04:29,854 --> 00:04:30,980 Oh. 76 00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:33,357 That explains the hoagie in my drawer. 77 00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:36,402 No wonder your underwear smelled like salami. 78 00:04:38,863 --> 00:04:42,074 I don't understand why I should have to do conflict resolution. 79 00:04:42,158 --> 00:04:44,952 Probably because you've created a hostile work environment 80 00:04:45,036 --> 00:04:46,787 with your violent ways. 81 00:04:46,871 --> 00:04:48,205 Please. 82 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:51,459 If there's anyone people are afraid of being battered by, it's you. 83 00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,919 And yet, you assaulted me. 84 00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:55,838 You wanna go again? 85 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,548 I'll go loco on you. 86 00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,551 Let me take off my hoops and I'll be right there. 87 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,677 -What? 88 00:05:02,595 --> 00:05:04,305 The mediator is here. 89 00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:07,016 So stop being weird and send him in. 90 00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:09,435 Yeah, I'm just gonna send him right in. 91 00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:11,520 That's what I just said. 92 00:05:11,604 --> 00:05:12,480 Okay. 93 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:13,898 Uh, you can come in! 94 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:18,652 Brianna. 95 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:20,321 Mallory. 96 00:05:21,197 --> 00:05:23,783 Who's ready for some conflict resolution? 97 00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:25,785 I sure am. 98 00:05:34,794 --> 00:05:38,255 Okay. We're not gonna mention the letter we didn't read 99 00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:40,341 until after we get the Bonida. 100 00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,093 In fact, let me do all the talking. 101 00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:43,010 Got it. 102 00:05:43,094 --> 00:05:46,222 But then, when the time is right, I talk a bunch. 103 00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:48,349 Hola. 104 00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,481 Grace, you are such a gringo. 105 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:08,744 You are both pregnant and I have betrayed you? 106 00:06:08,828 --> 00:06:10,121 Damn it, Frankie. 107 00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:13,874 Perhaps you would be more comfortable if we spoke in English. 108 00:06:13,958 --> 00:06:16,210 Well, that would be fine. 109 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,170 We're here to see Dr. Ramirez. 110 00:06:18,254 --> 00:06:21,715 I'm so sorry, Dr. Ramirez is not seeing anyone else today. 111 00:06:21,799 --> 00:06:24,927 But we came all the way from America to see him. 112 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,680 You'll have to come back at another time. 113 00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:32,518 In that case, would you kindly tell him Arlene needs to see him? 114 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:33,602 Uh, who is Arlene? 115 00:06:33,686 --> 00:06:34,728 I am. 116 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:38,941 Dr. Ramirez and I are very close friends. 117 00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:42,903 Grace, doesn't she have a lovely chestal area? 118 00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:44,613 What kind of friends? 119 00:06:44,697 --> 00:06:45,906 Like brother and sister. 120 00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:47,575 Oh, no. Much, much closer. 121 00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:51,871 Like conjoined twins who would never have sex with each other. 122 00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:53,247 Stop it, Frankie! 123 00:06:54,290 --> 00:06:56,125 Look, between you and me, 124 00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:58,586 he and I are having a little thing. 125 00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:01,297 Stop! 126 00:07:01,881 --> 00:07:03,257 Just tell him Arlene is here. 127 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:06,802 Excuse me for one moment while I go tell my husband 128 00:07:06,886 --> 00:07:09,430 that the end of our marriage has arrived. 129 00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:12,933 Oh, God. 130 00:07:13,017 --> 00:07:15,019 What part of... 131 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,937 ...don't you understand? 132 00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:21,275 If he doesn't show, this counts as your birthday party. 133 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:24,153 You just don't wanna build houses for the homeless. 134 00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:26,614 Peter! 135 00:07:26,697 --> 00:07:27,865 Peter! 136 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,325 My favorite director! 137 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,243 My favorite sycophant! 138 00:07:31,327 --> 00:07:32,161 Well... 139 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,997 time to go prostrate ourselves to Peter 140 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:38,125 and that talking penis he's dating. 141 00:07:38,209 --> 00:07:39,418 That's the spirit. 142 00:07:42,338 --> 00:07:45,716 I just wanted to say, from the bottom of both our hearts-- 143 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:46,634 Hold it. 144 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,969 I wanna film this. 145 00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:52,181 -Action. 146 00:07:53,057 --> 00:07:57,186 We are truly sorry for what we said about the two of you. 147 00:07:57,269 --> 00:08:00,523 We're not making excuses, but since we were robbed, 148 00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:03,692 we've both been in a bit of a state of panic. 149 00:08:03,776 --> 00:08:05,069 Accusing friends, 150 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,196 pushing each other in front of raccoons-- 151 00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:11,033 The point is, we weren't in our right minds. 152 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:14,912 And, of course, you would never steal from us. 153 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:18,082 So please accept our apology. 154 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,917 And I beg of you, Peter, 155 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,753 don't take it out on Robert. 156 00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:24,380 Well... 157 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,509 that was certainly a clear and unequivocal admission of guilt, 158 00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:29,969 wasn't it, Stevie? 159 00:08:31,387 --> 00:08:33,764 Not super sure what you just said. 160 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,852 We accept your apology. 161 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:42,481 And as far as the play goes, you don't have to win me over. 162 00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:44,108 Oh! Thank God. 163 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,192 Who wants Scotch? 164 00:08:45,276 --> 00:08:47,903 It's Stevie you have to win over. 165 00:08:47,987 --> 00:08:49,405 Excuse me? 166 00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:52,658 I've made Stevie my new casting director. 167 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,034 Don't worry, Robert. 168 00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:55,619 I'll keep an empty mind. 169 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,461 So my goal here 170 00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:07,006 is to find a place where both parties feel resolved 171 00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:10,634 and can continue a working relationship. 172 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:12,803 -Dan? -Yes. Mallory. 173 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,388 What the fuck are you doing here? 174 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:15,764 I also have that question. 175 00:09:15,848 --> 00:09:17,182 I'm so glad you asked. 176 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:20,728 Um, I used to be kind of an angry guy 177 00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:22,688 and I realized I had an issue 178 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:26,817 when I found myself in a senseless argument with a waiter. 179 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:30,487 And I ended up punching a slab of meat. 180 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:31,780 Are you kidding me? 181 00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:33,699 Dude, we were there. 182 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:36,160 -That was a separate incident. -Oh, my. 183 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,955 But it was a blessing in disguise. It led me to my calling. 184 00:09:40,039 --> 00:09:43,792 And when I heard there was a problem at Say Grace, I jumped at the chance. 185 00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:47,963 But I must say, I'm kind of surprised to find you here, Mal. 186 00:09:48,047 --> 00:09:50,966 Well, hold onto your hat, Mediator Dan, 187 00:09:51,050 --> 00:09:55,304 because perfect little Mallory put me in a sleeper hold. 188 00:09:55,387 --> 00:10:00,309 I understand. I used to deal with my issues with my fists too. 189 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:04,480 Life is funny... 190 00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:06,523 isn't it? 191 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,653 You staring deep into her soul right now? 192 00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:13,489 Okay. 193 00:10:14,073 --> 00:10:17,868 Obviously we need to get a different mediator in here. 194 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,620 I assure you, I'll be fair. 195 00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:21,747 And when I feel you've resolved this conflict, 196 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,457 I will tell Taneth as much. 197 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:24,541 Now... 198 00:10:25,376 --> 00:10:28,087 who wants to try some fun exercises? 199 00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:30,422 Do I have to move? 200 00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:37,888 You don't get many husband-and-wife pharmacies. 201 00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:40,182 Who are you? 202 00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:41,892 Where is Arlene? 203 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,936 Well, I'm a friend of hers. 204 00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,771 Why did you say you were her? 205 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:48,273 I was trying to get you to come out here. 206 00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:51,026 We had no idea that was your wife. 207 00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:52,528 I had some idea. 208 00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:54,154 I need you both to leave. 209 00:10:54,238 --> 00:10:56,699 Sorry, we can't leave until we get what we came for. 210 00:10:56,782 --> 00:11:00,703 You are not satisfied enough having burned my entire world to ash? 211 00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:01,829 Am I saying this right? 212 00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:04,289 My English is not perfect. 213 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:05,791 You are... 214 00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:10,379 completely fucking up my life, yes? 215 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,547 Yeah. 216 00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:12,631 You nailed it. 217 00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:14,466 Yeah, we need Bonida. 218 00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:15,926 Lots of it. 219 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:19,179 And Frankie could use some Gas-X for the ride home. 220 00:11:19,972 --> 00:11:22,474 Look, I know she's made a mess for you here 221 00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:26,353 but there are people back home who will suffer without this drug. 222 00:11:26,437 --> 00:11:29,523 Please don't punish them for Grace's ignorance. 223 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,526 I will give you the Bonida. 224 00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:35,446 But I'm sure you will understand, 225 00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,823 you can never come back here again. 226 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:50,377 Mrs. Ramirez, we are so sorry. 227 00:11:50,461 --> 00:11:51,837 I'm not Arlene. 228 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,922 My name is Grace, and this is-- 229 00:11:54,006 --> 00:11:57,092 Jennifer Nightingale, for all your real estate needs. 230 00:11:57,593 --> 00:12:00,095 Mrs. Ramirez, if it helps at all... 231 00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:03,557 we know what it's like to be cheated on. 232 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,475 We do. 233 00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:06,018 We're so sorry. 234 00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,187 We're just here for the medication. 235 00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:12,191 Then you will be interested to know that I have called Border Patrol. 236 00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:16,236 They will be on the lookout for two old home-wreckers 237 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,239 smuggling drugs illegally across the border. 238 00:12:20,616 --> 00:12:21,825 Have a nice day. 239 00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:51,939 Oh, this? 240 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,483 It's just my Tappy Award. 241 00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:57,194 I don't even remember why they gave it to me. 242 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,822 Didn't you win that for 1776, Robert? 243 00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:00,989 That's right, Sol. 244 00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:04,993 I guess everybody thought I was the best actor-singer in San Diego, 245 00:13:05,077 --> 00:13:06,370 or whatever. 246 00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:10,874 It's a shoe on a stick. 247 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,087 Now, Stevie, about this role, about Sky. 248 00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,255 I don't know. 249 00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:18,841 If you ask me, I'm going with the devil you know. 250 00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:23,929 Whoever is your most talented, most accomplished actor, you know-- 251 00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:25,222 Whoa! 252 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,391 -Whoa. -Almost dropped my Tappy. 253 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,394 Okay. 254 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,729 I think I see what's going on here. 255 00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:35,107 You want me to give you the role of Sky Masterson. 256 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:37,985 You figured it out, Stevie. 257 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,611 What a smart boy. 258 00:13:39,695 --> 00:13:43,115 Look, I know how important this part is, 259 00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:47,035 and I'm not about to gamble on someone who might not be capable of doing it. 260 00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:47,953 Thank God. 261 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,121 Thank you, Stevie. 262 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:52,332 Which is why I'm casting myself in the role. Mm! 263 00:13:58,964 --> 00:14:00,007 Mm. 264 00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:01,550 Please remember, 265 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:04,803 the point of this exercise is not to win, 266 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:08,682 but to work together to have an equal number of wins and losses. 267 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:12,436 If you can refrain from competing against each other, 268 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,104 you both win. 269 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,439 -Got it? -Mm-hm. 270 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:16,356 Ready? 271 00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,275 -Go! -Ow! 272 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,027 What the hell? 273 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,362 Okay. 274 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,657 I wasn't ready before. 275 00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:27,159 -Are you ready now? -Yes. 276 00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:28,076 Go. 277 00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:29,536 Ow. 278 00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:32,164 Why are you so strong? 279 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,541 -I have four kids and I do Pilates. -Wow. 280 00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,585 Impressive, Mal. Good job. 281 00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:38,587 Thought you said it wasn't a competition. 282 00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:39,546 It isn't. 283 00:14:40,464 --> 00:14:41,882 But Mallory clearly won. 284 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,634 Two tickets to the gun show, please. 285 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:47,095 Am I on whatever the modern version of Punk'd is? 286 00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:48,847 Okay. 287 00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:51,725 Let's try an exercise with a clearer goal. 288 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,560 This one is simple. 289 00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:57,439 You both step inside the hula hoop 290 00:14:57,522 --> 00:15:01,360 and work together to swing it around your bodies. 291 00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:05,030 If you do not work as a team, you will fail. 292 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,328 Anyone ever told you your exercises are stupid? 293 00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:13,121 Many times. 294 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,424 Okay. 295 00:15:24,508 --> 00:15:25,342 All right. 296 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,551 Okay. 297 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,137 -Here we go. Okay. -Okay. 298 00:15:29,221 --> 00:15:30,681 Just swing left. 299 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:31,598 Like this? 300 00:15:31,682 --> 00:15:33,225 No. This way. 301 00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:34,142 This is left. 302 00:15:34,226 --> 00:15:35,268 No, my left. 303 00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:36,520 It's the same left! 304 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,772 No, it is whatever left I say it is! 305 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,023 Okay, Brianna? 306 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:45,278 You're trying a little too hard to boss the situation. 307 00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:47,864 Try being more of a team player. 308 00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,199 Like Mallory. 309 00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:52,619 Seriously? Gonna claim Mallory as the winner of this? 310 00:15:52,703 --> 00:15:55,455 Again, there is no winner. 311 00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:58,917 But if I had to pick, it would be Mallory. 312 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:01,128 Okay, this is some bullshit. 313 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:04,214 Clearly, he's just trying to curry favor so he can win you back. 314 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,466 Oh! Right. 315 00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:11,513 Because it's impossible I could be better at anything than you, right? 316 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:14,433 God forbid I should excel at something based on my own merit. 317 00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:15,350 No! 318 00:16:15,434 --> 00:16:17,102 No, no, it couldn't be that. 319 00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:19,271 It must be because he's in love with me. 320 00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,858 Okay. Well, guess what, Brianna? He's not. 321 00:16:23,442 --> 00:16:24,276 Hmm. 322 00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:30,741 So here's the thing. 323 00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:32,409 Um... 324 00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:34,578 I've done a lot of, uh... 325 00:16:35,871 --> 00:16:36,872 introspection. 326 00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:41,752 And I really wanna make it work between us. 327 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,337 I say we give it one more try. 328 00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:46,465 What do you say? 329 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:51,970 Take a minute. 330 00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:53,722 Think it over. No problem. 331 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:55,766 -Thank you. 332 00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:04,149 Okay, let's not panic. 333 00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:05,901 Not panic? 334 00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:11,031 How does a Mexican restaurant in Mexico only have tamales on Tuesday? 335 00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:11,948 Quiet. 336 00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:13,909 I need to think. 337 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:18,872 We have to lay low, maybe get a hotel room for a couple of days. 338 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:21,333 There must be a Four Seasons around here somewhere. 339 00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:22,375 No. 340 00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,878 You took the lead. Look where it got us. 341 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:29,216 In the same sexy mess as Valentina's twin cousin. 342 00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:33,011 -I've got it. -Hola, señoras. 343 00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:35,347 -Hola. -May I take your order? 344 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,391 I'd like seven al pastor tacos, 345 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:41,770 and I would like you to hold this bag of drugs for a couple of days. 346 00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,271 What are you doing? 347 00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:48,151 Simple. This dude holds the drugs while you and I cross the border legally. 348 00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:50,821 And then one of us comes back to get it. 349 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:52,280 Got it? 350 00:17:52,364 --> 00:17:53,698 He's gone. 351 00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:56,993 Excuse me, what is going on here? 352 00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,245 Oh, shit. 353 00:17:59,037 --> 00:17:59,871 Hello. 354 00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:03,375 Is there a limit on how much salsa one may take to go? 355 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:05,877 I don't want you soliciting my employees. 356 00:18:05,961 --> 00:18:07,921 Tijuana Tony's is a family restaurant. 357 00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:10,257 Well, your employees are narcs. 358 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:13,510 Could I just get a soup container for the salsa? 359 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,470 I'll be calling the police now. 360 00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:18,974 Why does everyone keep calling the cops on us? 361 00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:21,810 Fuck, Frankie, we gotta get out of here. Give me the bag. 362 00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:23,228 I'm not giving you anything. 363 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:24,771 You get out of here. 364 00:18:24,855 --> 00:18:26,189 What are you talking about? 365 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:27,774 I got you into this mess. 366 00:18:27,858 --> 00:18:30,610 Besides, I can do a nickel standing on my head. 367 00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:34,281 But those guards would pass you around like peanut brittle. 368 00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:36,449 Frankie, we are in this together. 369 00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:37,617 Not anymore. 370 00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:40,245 This is something I've got to do on my own. 371 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,663 It was my idea. 372 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:45,458 Catch you in Los Estados Unidos, amiga. 373 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:46,877 Listen to me, Frankie. 374 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:51,298 When I got into that car with you, I wasn't planning to just go halfway. 375 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,258 If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be here 376 00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:56,386 in the final scene of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. 377 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:57,304 That's right. 378 00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:01,474 If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here, doing something selfless. 379 00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:03,810 You do benefit from my tutelage. 380 00:19:03,894 --> 00:19:05,604 Damn straight. 381 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,981 Okay, now, the way I see it... 382 00:19:08,899 --> 00:19:09,941 we have three options. 383 00:19:10,025 --> 00:19:12,485 We can stay and let the police arrest us, 384 00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:15,155 we can ditch the drugs, get home safely 385 00:19:15,238 --> 00:19:17,616 and let Arlene and everybody else down. 386 00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:19,117 Or... 387 00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:21,620 we could go for it. 388 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,372 Are you serious? 389 00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:27,250 Thousands of people cross that border every day. 390 00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:29,002 Besides... 391 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,796 we have a secret weapon. 392 00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:33,423 Our holes? 393 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:34,424 Us! 394 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,635 When we're together, we're unstoppable. 395 00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:39,387 But they're on the lookout for two old ladies. 396 00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:41,056 We are two old ladies. 397 00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:42,390 No. 398 00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:45,393 We are the Bonida Bandidas. 399 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,104 Bonida Bandidas! 400 00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,319 We should go now, though. 401 00:19:58,573 --> 00:19:59,574 Hey, Peter. 402 00:19:59,658 --> 00:20:01,618 -Enjoying the party? -Mm-hm. 403 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,662 Cake is kind of dry. 404 00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:05,121 That's great. Listen. 405 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,874 -You are ruining my freaking life. -I'm sorry? 406 00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:10,335 You see your little porno repairman? 407 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:13,546 Apparently he's decided to make himself Sky Masterson. 408 00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:15,715 He's using our home as his personal gym. 409 00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:19,719 -Have you even heard him sing? -He made me sing last night. 410 00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:22,305 If I were straight, I'd make you high-five me right now. 411 00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:26,476 You are letting your judgment be completely clouded by lust. 412 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,103 Yes. Thank you. 413 00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:29,521 See, Robert? Sol gets it. 414 00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:31,231 Look, this isn't about me anymore. 415 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:33,233 That dunce cannot be Sky. 416 00:20:33,316 --> 00:20:34,985 Robert, I hear you. 417 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:39,030 But I feel like you're not even considering Stevie's badonkadonk. 418 00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:43,743 You are going to make the New Lear look bad. 419 00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:46,955 Do you really wanna kill your community theater career 420 00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:48,456 over a badonkadonk? 421 00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:57,215 It's a classic Sophie's Choice. 422 00:20:57,299 --> 00:20:58,717 But more relatable. 423 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,886 I may have a way we can salvage this. 424 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:02,971 How? 425 00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:05,473 I invoke Prima Nocta! 426 00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,267 -What? -Prima Nocta. 427 00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:11,479 The ancient theater tradition of disputing a role through sing-off. 428 00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:12,564 Is that--? 429 00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:14,357 Are you doing Braveheart? 430 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,276 It's a theater tradition. Look it up. 431 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:17,319 Okay. 432 00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:22,115 Okay, I made it up! Look, I deserve this role. 433 00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:25,118 Give me a chance to prove myself and we'll let the crowd decide. 434 00:21:25,744 --> 00:21:26,828 Prima Canticum! 435 00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,621 Right of first song. 436 00:21:30,332 --> 00:21:32,208 Fine, we can do your sing-off thingy. 437 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:35,879 But if I lose that badonkadonk... 438 00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,422 God help you. 439 00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:40,383 It's a sing-off! 440 00:21:44,763 --> 00:21:47,474 All you need to do is apologize for the punch 441 00:21:47,557 --> 00:21:52,520 and I'll sign whatever form this sad sack brought and we can move on. 442 00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:54,564 Why would I apologize? 443 00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:58,401 Because this whole thing began when you pulled my hair. 444 00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:01,529 That is not where this all began. 445 00:22:01,613 --> 00:22:04,240 Oh, right. It began when you stole my job. 446 00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:06,993 I'm sorry, you mean the job you were offered first 447 00:22:07,077 --> 00:22:08,036 but then turned down? 448 00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:09,662 You knew Say Grace was my domain. 449 00:22:09,746 --> 00:22:12,290 But in typical Mallory fashion, you had to butt in. 450 00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:15,085 I'm surprised you didn't put up a dog fence to keep me out. 451 00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:17,712 -What the hell are you talking about? -When we were kids. 452 00:22:17,796 --> 00:22:19,506 You would have friends over, 453 00:22:19,589 --> 00:22:23,218 you would keep me from playing with you with Jeffrey's old dog fence. 454 00:22:23,301 --> 00:22:25,095 The only way I could get past 455 00:22:25,178 --> 00:22:28,348 was by singing that stupid "Brianna Is Great" song. 456 00:22:30,141 --> 00:22:31,810 Honestly, I got nothing. 457 00:22:31,893 --> 00:22:33,186 How did it go? 458 00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:34,854 Seriously? 459 00:22:42,946 --> 00:22:44,322 You're fucking with me. 460 00:22:44,406 --> 00:22:45,949 I am, yes. 461 00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:48,952 -Is there any chance I could come inside? 462 00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:50,286 I won't hit anything. 463 00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:51,704 I won't hit on anyone. 464 00:22:51,788 --> 00:22:52,956 No! 465 00:22:54,165 --> 00:22:55,125 That? 466 00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:57,627 That is how I felt my whole life. 467 00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,963 You always kept me out. 468 00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:02,048 I just wanted you to leave me and my friends alone. 469 00:23:02,132 --> 00:23:03,925 They always ended up liking you better. 470 00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:06,761 -Really? -Why couldn't you find your own friends? 471 00:23:06,845 --> 00:23:08,638 I had my own friends. 472 00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:11,724 But what I really wanted was to be with you. 473 00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:16,229 I wanted to be on your side of the fence. 474 00:23:31,870 --> 00:23:32,787 You're right. 475 00:23:32,871 --> 00:23:34,289 I'm sorry. 476 00:23:34,372 --> 00:23:37,959 I did block you out, and that must have felt shitty. 477 00:23:41,379 --> 00:23:42,297 Thank you. 478 00:23:43,381 --> 00:23:45,800 And I'm sorry that I punched you. 479 00:23:47,844 --> 00:23:50,763 Now can we figure out a way to get on the same damn side? 480 00:23:53,183 --> 00:23:54,434 Honestly? 481 00:23:55,310 --> 00:23:56,853 I don't know. 482 00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:57,770 What? 483 00:23:58,688 --> 00:24:00,064 I thought we were good. 484 00:24:00,148 --> 00:24:02,066 We are, it's just... 485 00:24:02,984 --> 00:24:04,444 when Mom gave me the company-- 486 00:24:04,527 --> 00:24:05,695 Brianna, I get it. 487 00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:08,072 -It's your company. -No. Mal, listen. 488 00:24:08,740 --> 00:24:09,949 When she gave it to me, 489 00:24:10,033 --> 00:24:13,703 she told me that I could never have someone else as a boss. 490 00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:15,371 I had to be the boss. 491 00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:20,335 I don't think this is gonna work. 492 00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:23,213 What are you saying? 493 00:24:23,713 --> 00:24:25,215 I'm saying 494 00:24:25,298 --> 00:24:28,301 I think I should quit. 495 00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:30,178 No. No. Don't be crazy. 496 00:24:30,261 --> 00:24:32,430 We're gonna find a way to make this work. Just-- 497 00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:33,765 I don't think we can. 498 00:24:36,226 --> 00:24:38,019 Mom was right. 499 00:24:44,609 --> 00:24:45,485 I quit. 500 00:24:48,655 --> 00:24:50,490 Is that really what you want? 501 00:24:51,449 --> 00:24:52,325 It is. 502 00:24:53,368 --> 00:24:54,744 I'll be fine. I've... 503 00:24:55,495 --> 00:24:56,329 got Barry. 504 00:24:56,412 --> 00:24:59,374 He's got thousands of dollars worth of action figures. 505 00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:02,919 I think I need to find my next thing. 506 00:25:06,172 --> 00:25:07,006 Hey. 507 00:25:08,383 --> 00:25:10,176 If you're really gonna leave, 508 00:25:10,802 --> 00:25:14,138 at least let me fire you so you can get severance and stuff. 509 00:25:14,222 --> 00:25:15,431 Really? 510 00:25:16,558 --> 00:25:18,101 Of course, 511 00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:21,813 I will need you to sing the "Mallory Is Great" song first. 512 00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:24,440 Good one. 513 00:25:41,082 --> 00:25:42,000 Okay. 514 00:25:45,253 --> 00:25:46,254 Brianna... 515 00:25:47,422 --> 00:25:48,423 you're fired. 516 00:25:49,507 --> 00:25:50,383 Thank you. 517 00:25:59,309 --> 00:26:00,935 -Whoa! 518 00:26:01,603 --> 00:26:02,562 Did I do it? 519 00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:04,063 I fixed it? 520 00:26:17,577 --> 00:26:19,412 All right. Gracias. 521 00:26:29,505 --> 00:26:32,091 Um-- Hey, no pressure. 522 00:26:32,175 --> 00:26:34,052 Everything's totally cool. 523 00:26:34,135 --> 00:26:37,847 But could you maybe hang a uey and get us out of here? 524 00:26:37,930 --> 00:26:40,975 You don't think that'll arouse even more suspicion? 525 00:26:41,059 --> 00:26:45,355 Unless these two gals have Bonida, 526 00:26:45,438 --> 00:26:46,731 we're going to jail. 527 00:26:49,275 --> 00:26:50,610 -What? 528 00:26:51,194 --> 00:26:52,695 Follow the rainbow! 529 00:26:53,196 --> 00:26:55,573 Frankie, this is no time for a Skittles break. 530 00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:58,159 No, you fool. That's "taste the rainbow." 531 00:26:58,242 --> 00:27:00,495 The rainbow bumper sticker. 532 00:27:00,578 --> 00:27:03,414 It's a sign! It's what Elsbeth predicted! 533 00:27:03,498 --> 00:27:04,832 But what does it mean? 534 00:27:13,883 --> 00:27:15,301 We're gonna switch cars. 535 00:27:15,385 --> 00:27:16,219 Mix it up. 536 00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:17,220 What? 537 00:27:17,804 --> 00:27:20,682 The Border Patrol is on the lookout for two older women, 538 00:27:20,765 --> 00:27:22,475 not two older couples. 539 00:27:22,558 --> 00:27:24,727 Look at these two. 540 00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:28,940 We'll look totally natural. 541 00:27:33,736 --> 00:27:35,863 Can I interest you in some Skittles? 542 00:27:35,947 --> 00:27:37,031 They're tropical. 543 00:27:39,534 --> 00:27:41,911 What a lovely man-bag. 544 00:27:42,995 --> 00:27:44,372 It's called a purse. 545 00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:46,290 Yeah. 546 00:27:48,876 --> 00:27:51,504 My name's Jennifer Nightingale, by the way. 547 00:27:51,587 --> 00:27:53,256 Real estate is my game. 548 00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:56,384 Apartments, condos, farms. 549 00:27:56,467 --> 00:27:58,177 I sold a zoo once. 550 00:27:58,886 --> 00:28:02,432 Anyways, you got any Skittles in here? 551 00:28:02,932 --> 00:28:04,434 Skittles? No. 552 00:28:04,517 --> 00:28:05,643 I'm an old man. 553 00:28:06,602 --> 00:28:10,022 I'll just take a Werther's, then. 554 00:28:20,783 --> 00:28:22,118 Amazing. 555 00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:24,871 Not a hint of embarrassment or self-awareness. 556 00:28:27,206 --> 00:28:29,333 I've never seen anything like it. 557 00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:34,380 He's got an ass like a Summerset peach. 558 00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:45,892 -Ha! -Yes! 559 00:28:46,559 --> 00:28:47,894 That was excellent! 560 00:28:47,977 --> 00:28:49,687 Bravo, Stevie! 561 00:28:50,313 --> 00:28:51,939 Clap, you basics. 562 00:28:52,023 --> 00:28:53,232 God. 563 00:28:53,316 --> 00:28:55,902 -Jealous. You're all jealous. 564 00:28:55,985 --> 00:28:57,320 Good work, Stevie. 565 00:28:57,403 --> 00:28:58,905 I loved it. 566 00:29:00,782 --> 00:29:03,159 You better kill it up there or we're screwed. 567 00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:05,578 Got a secret weapon. I can sing. 568 00:29:29,352 --> 00:29:30,311 I'm sorry. 569 00:29:31,813 --> 00:29:32,897 Sorry, everyone. 570 00:29:34,273 --> 00:29:36,526 Let's try that again, shall we? 571 00:29:51,415 --> 00:29:52,250 You know what? 572 00:29:53,459 --> 00:29:55,002 We just heard that song. 573 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,840 Isn't there another one you could do, Robert? 574 00:29:59,674 --> 00:30:00,633 Of course. 575 00:30:02,552 --> 00:30:03,928 You know "Summer Wind"? 576 00:30:07,932 --> 00:30:10,643 This takes me back to the summer of '66. 577 00:30:57,315 --> 00:30:58,149 Here you go. 578 00:30:59,150 --> 00:31:00,693 Thank you very much. 579 00:31:17,668 --> 00:31:19,962 Whoo! 580 00:31:20,046 --> 00:31:20,963 Whoo! 581 00:31:23,257 --> 00:31:27,511 -I'm just happy to be getting home. -Ah. 582 00:31:27,595 --> 00:31:30,973 Well, now that we made it, time to be honest. 583 00:31:31,057 --> 00:31:33,851 You ladies are smuggling drugs, aren't you? 584 00:31:35,603 --> 00:31:36,520 Oh, yeah. 585 00:31:38,147 --> 00:31:39,440 Yeah, we are. 586 00:31:39,523 --> 00:31:40,858 Funny! Us too. 587 00:31:41,609 --> 00:31:42,860 -What? -Yup. 588 00:31:42,944 --> 00:31:44,403 It's in the other car. 589 00:31:44,487 --> 00:31:47,615 You mean, you're smuggling Bonida? 590 00:31:47,698 --> 00:31:48,950 Well, sure. 591 00:31:49,033 --> 00:31:52,286 -If Bonida is what you call six kilos of-- -Cocaine? 592 00:31:52,370 --> 00:31:53,537 Jesus! 593 00:31:53,621 --> 00:31:55,957 Why don't you just tell the whole world, Jennifer? 594 00:31:56,666 --> 00:31:57,875 Oh, my God. 595 00:32:10,221 --> 00:32:11,514 Oh, my God. 596 00:32:21,190 --> 00:32:22,400 Fuck!