1 00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:08,217 [theme music playing] 2 00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:16,100 ♪ Well, I don't know why I came here tonight ♪ 3 00:00:16,851 --> 00:00:19,979 ♪ Got the feeling That something ain't right ♪ 4 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:23,983 ♪ I'm so scared In case I fall off my chair ♪ 5 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:28,279 ♪ And I'm wondering How I'll get down the stairs ♪ 6 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,948 ♪ And there's clowns to the left of me ♪ 7 00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:32,366 ♪ Jokers to the right ♪ 8 00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:35,328 ♪ Here I am stuck in the middle with you ♪ 9 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,749 ♪ Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you ♪ 10 00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:43,461 ♪ Ooh ♪ 11 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,222 Have you ever not gotten across the border? 12 00:00:54,305 --> 00:00:58,059 I always get across. Sometimes first I go to jail for 10 years. 13 00:00:58,559 --> 00:00:59,644 Oh, Lord. 14 00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,020 Oh, there they are! 15 00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:04,732 [car horn honks] 16 00:01:06,818 --> 00:01:09,987 What the fuck? Where is Frankie? 17 00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:11,447 I don't know who Frankie is, 18 00:01:11,531 --> 00:01:15,284 but Jennifer Nightingale did a Navy SEAL tuck-and-roll back on the other side. 19 00:01:15,368 --> 00:01:18,663 -And you just let her jump out? -I didn't have a choice. 20 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:21,124 She took Duncan's skateboard and zipped out of there. 21 00:01:21,207 --> 00:01:25,169 Are you serious, dude? I just put those sweet trucks on. 22 00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:29,215 Don't worry. Buy yourself a new one with your money from the powder. 23 00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:31,634 Hey, nice doing business with you! Have a nice day! 24 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:34,971 [Duncan] Thanks for helping us with the shmo-shmaine! 25 00:01:36,973 --> 00:01:38,683 The ladies room is shockingly clean. 26 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:41,060 Thank you. It's 'cause I take naps in there. 27 00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,562 [cell phone chiming] 28 00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:51,445 Elsbeth? 29 00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:53,447 -Hello, Grace. -What? 30 00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:57,368 I know it's you. There's toilet paper stuck to your shoe. 31 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,038 Frankie is in grave danger. 32 00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:05,626 Yeah, she's somewhere in Mexico with no passport or phone. 33 00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:09,130 She's fine. You'll see her in 20 minutes at Tijuana Tony's. 34 00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:13,176 -Why would she go back there? -To eat three huge dessert tacos. 35 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:17,763 -Okay, thank you, Elsbeth, I gotta-- -Oh, wait. Uh... 36 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:23,477 I got terrible news for Frankie, and I was hoping you could give it to her. 37 00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:25,354 No thanks. She slapped me in the face 38 00:02:25,438 --> 00:02:27,857 when I told her that One Direction was gonna break up. 39 00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:31,027 Yeah, but it's crucial she gets this today. 40 00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:33,529 What could be more important than me finding her? 41 00:02:33,613 --> 00:02:37,366 I had a vision about something happening to Frankie three months from now. 42 00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:42,079 -Tell her in three months. -I can't. Unfortunately it'll be too late. 43 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:43,956 What, are you dying? 44 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:47,293 Not me, but you're getting warmer. 45 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:49,754 Are you telling me Frankie will die? 46 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:53,925 That would be unprofessional of me. Which is why you'll tell her. 47 00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:58,804 That is just absurd. There is no way that you could know that. 48 00:02:58,888 --> 00:03:02,016 You're right. I'm not that great at this stuff anyway. 49 00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:05,311 -Bless you. -What? 50 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:06,354 [sneezes] 51 00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,358 Goddamn it. 52 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,652 [dramatic score playing on TV] 53 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:23,913 [TV turns off] 54 00:03:25,498 --> 00:03:28,376 You want to start with sudoku or crosswords? 55 00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,920 The one that will let me turn the TV back on. 56 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:34,924 -And why are we doing crosswords? -To boost your memory, remember? 57 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:38,386 Yes, I remember you telling me we were going to, 58 00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:41,555 and I remember having a witty retort. 59 00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:44,058 -You had a witty retort? -I did. 60 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,601 What was it, then? 61 00:03:46,686 --> 00:03:48,145 Repeat the retort. 62 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,106 I don't want to. 63 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,401 Repeat the retort, Robert. 64 00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:57,613 Fine, I didn't have one. And I remember I didn't have one. 65 00:03:57,697 --> 00:04:00,199 So there's nothing wrong with my memory. 66 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:03,619 Do you not remember that you couldn't remember the lines 67 00:04:03,703 --> 00:04:05,037 to "Luck Be a Lady"? 68 00:04:05,121 --> 00:04:07,039 I was an actor going up on his lines. 69 00:04:07,123 --> 00:04:09,583 That's even the phrase for it. That's how normal it is. 70 00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,669 You put your hat in the fridge. 71 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,630 That was just a guy wanting a cold hat. 72 00:04:14,714 --> 00:04:19,135 -You forgot to turn off the stove today. -You wanna play that game? 73 00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:21,554 How about the time you left the house without pants? 74 00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,597 They were shorts. People wear shorts. 75 00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:26,225 Sure, soccer players and French layabouts. 76 00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:28,352 This isn't about me. 77 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:33,983 Look, I'm going to let you in on a little secret of my brain. 78 00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,944 I have an important file and an unimportant file. 79 00:04:37,028 --> 00:04:40,323 The latter is where things go that aren't important to me in the moment. 80 00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:42,158 That is concerning. 81 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:45,077 But not as concerning as turning off the stove 82 00:04:45,161 --> 00:04:46,954 being in the unimportant file. 83 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:50,750 It's a fluid system and sometimes there are hiccups. 84 00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:51,792 Okay, then. 85 00:04:51,876 --> 00:04:57,006 So I can assume our anniversary is in the important file? 86 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:58,549 Of course it is. 87 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:03,137 I distinctly remember us being married in the hospital at 4:43 p.m. on-- 88 00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:07,641 Not our wedding anniversary. The other anniversary. 89 00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:10,186 Our kiss-iversary. 90 00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:12,813 Oh, right. Absolutely. 91 00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,275 I just didn't file it under "kiss-iversary" 92 00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:18,152 because I'm not as gay as you. 93 00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:19,862 Great then. 94 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:23,074 Since I've planned it every year, this year you plan it. 95 00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:25,076 I'd be delighted to. 96 00:05:26,786 --> 00:05:29,038 Which day would you like to celebrate it on? 97 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:32,666 Oh, just on the right day will be fine. 98 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,919 Great. Sounds like a plan. 99 00:05:39,090 --> 00:05:40,466 [indistinct chatter] 100 00:05:47,056 --> 00:05:48,599 [Grace] Oh, my God. 101 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,978 You are actually here. 102 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:55,773 You found me. 103 00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:57,608 You're hard to miss. 104 00:05:58,109 --> 00:05:59,360 Thank you. 105 00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:01,529 Come on, eat those tacos. 106 00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:04,949 We've got a carload of Bonida waiting for us on the other side. 107 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,742 Oh, my God, we did it. 108 00:06:06,826 --> 00:06:10,162 A round of salsa for everyone, on me! 109 00:06:10,246 --> 00:06:11,664 We have to get going. 110 00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:14,458 The baby is already in the basket. 111 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,378 One celebratory margarita? 112 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,922 Fine. Only one. 113 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,590 Alfonso! 114 00:06:21,674 --> 00:06:23,008 Si, senora? 115 00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:27,221 Oh. Alfonso's cool now. 116 00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:30,224 I'll have the Terminator. 117 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:31,892 [slurping] 118 00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:37,940 Ah, we should get going. 119 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:39,817 We should get going. 120 00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:43,529 -It's getting late. -It's getting late. 121 00:06:44,864 --> 00:06:46,866 Why do you repeat what I'm saying? 122 00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:49,493 I thought you were repeating what I'm saying. 123 00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:53,247 We are in no condition to drive. 124 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,373 Or walk. 125 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,083 [groans] 126 00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:59,420 If we're not gonna get the Bonida to them tonight, 127 00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:01,839 we should at least take a selfie 128 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:05,342 to let them see that the mission was accomplished. 129 00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:10,097 Wait. 130 00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:15,769 "Did Grace tell you the thing yet, question mark, sad face." 131 00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:18,147 Did you talk to Elsbeth? 132 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:21,775 Um... Did I? Yeah, I guess I did. 133 00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:22,943 What'd she say? 134 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:26,071 I can't even remember my name, 135 00:07:26,155 --> 00:07:28,657 much less what she told me three hours ago. 136 00:07:28,741 --> 00:07:31,076 -I'll give her a call. -Yeah, no. No. 137 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,328 Why not? 138 00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:35,873 She told me something really crazy that's not even worth listening to. 139 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,751 It's a good thing you pay for my international calling. 140 00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:40,878 Yeah. Oh, jeez. Oh, fine. 141 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:45,007 Put the phone down and I'll tell you. 142 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:50,429 But remember, this is a stupid, unfounded claim 143 00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:53,474 that has no meaning whatsoever. 144 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,851 Okay. 145 00:07:56,352 --> 00:08:01,148 She said that-- This is according to her. --that you'll die in three months. 146 00:08:01,232 --> 00:08:02,816 Which is absurd. 147 00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:04,610 Oh. 148 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:08,864 Oh, no, you shouldn't believe it. I mean, I sure don't. She's a loon. 149 00:08:08,948 --> 00:08:12,076 She's already proven herself twice today. 150 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,662 Nobody's right all the time. 151 00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:17,122 What has she ever not been right about? 152 00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,333 Ever. One thing. 153 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:23,837 And don't say "That disallowed U.S.A. goal at the 2010 World Cup." 154 00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:25,297 That ball went in. 155 00:08:25,381 --> 00:08:26,715 All right, all right. 156 00:08:27,466 --> 00:08:30,386 She said you were gonna have three dessert tacos. 157 00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:33,138 And you've only had two. What about that? 158 00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:37,268 Right? 159 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,478 The cook made too many dessert tacos. 160 00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:40,563 You want it? 161 00:08:41,981 --> 00:08:45,651 Oh, my God, Grace. I do want it. 162 00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:53,242 Were you surprised? 163 00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:57,329 At the proposal? No. At the foreskin? Also no. 164 00:08:57,413 --> 00:09:00,082 That's a romantic story to tell your children. 165 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,252 -Coyote, here's your mail. -Oh. Thanks. 166 00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:05,671 Which I have only received for the last five years. 167 00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:09,883 I promise when we move into our house, I will update my mailing address. 168 00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,386 Bummer. I love reading your catalogs. 169 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,388 Something from the County Clerk's office. 170 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:17,766 -It must be our marriage license. -Ooh. Can I see it? 171 00:09:19,143 --> 00:09:24,648 Uh, why? It's just a boring legal thing. 172 00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:26,859 It's nothing special to see here. 173 00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,527 It's not boring to me. Let me see. 174 00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:30,195 No. It's bad luck. 175 00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:31,905 But you just looked at it. 176 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:33,907 It's bad luck for the bride to look at it. 177 00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:36,327 -That's not true. -Definitely not true. 178 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,538 Okay, all right, you got me. 179 00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:43,751 I was planning on doing something special with it. 180 00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:46,128 Like, you know, like frame it. 181 00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:49,715 But you just folded it into, like, 18 squares. 182 00:09:53,469 --> 00:09:55,429 Coyote, come on. 183 00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:01,477 I just remembered Coyote's right. 184 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:05,439 And it is bad luck for you, the bride, to see that. 185 00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:08,859 -Then I will look. -I was pressing that for the framing. 186 00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:17,660 I have taken ill and must retire to the ladies room. 187 00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:19,244 -All right. -Ah. 188 00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:26,043 Why does this say we can't get married? 189 00:10:27,086 --> 00:10:29,797 Oh, my God, you're already married? 190 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,800 I'm gonna go check on Allison. 191 00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:35,219 No. 192 00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:44,395 -Help. -Hello, Brianna. What's wrong? 193 00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:45,688 What is this? 194 00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:51,068 Black coffee. Maybe a dark roast? Ethiopia? 195 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:54,196 No, Mallory. This is you fucking me. 196 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,948 What are you talking about? 197 00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:59,368 After you insisted that Adam could not get coffee for me 198 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:02,162 if I didn't work here, I went and did it myself 199 00:11:02,246 --> 00:11:04,206 and they gave me this disaster. 200 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:06,333 -What did you order? -My usual. 201 00:11:06,417 --> 00:11:09,128 -What's your usual? -My usual is "Adam, get me my usual." 202 00:11:09,211 --> 00:11:13,674 See, this is why I need him as a part of my severance package. 203 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:17,553 He would just help me adjust to civilian life. 204 00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:19,888 It's not that I can't pick up my own dry cleaning, 205 00:11:19,972 --> 00:11:22,349 it's that I don't know where my dry cleaner is. 206 00:11:22,975 --> 00:11:24,351 And I don't want to do it. 207 00:11:24,435 --> 00:11:25,519 I am unmoved. 208 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,275 -What do you know anyway? -[cell phone buzzing] 209 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,861 You have four kids, that's like having four assistants. 210 00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:36,029 You really don't understand parenthood, do you? 211 00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:38,198 Dad is FaceTiming me. That's weird. 212 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:41,493 Hello, Dad's ear. Why are you FaceTiming me? 213 00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:42,411 [Robert] I'm not. 214 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:45,873 Dad, can you please turn the phone around and look at it. 215 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,918 Where's Mallory? Why did you pick up? 216 00:11:50,586 --> 00:11:52,588 Because you called my phone. 217 00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,214 I was trying to call Mallory. 218 00:11:54,298 --> 00:11:57,634 Okay, hold on, I will patch you through. 219 00:11:57,718 --> 00:11:59,136 Beep, boop, beep, boop, beep. 220 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:00,679 Hi, Dad. 221 00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:03,557 Mallory, help. I'm in a real bind. 222 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:08,228 I can't remember when my kiss-iversary with Sol is 223 00:12:08,312 --> 00:12:10,314 and he'll kill me if I don't get it right. 224 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:13,484 If it was so important to you, how did you forget it? 225 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:16,153 Because he put it in the unimportant file. 226 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,113 That's where I put your kids' birthdays. 227 00:12:18,197 --> 00:12:20,574 I didn't put it in the unimportant file. 228 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:24,578 If Sol finds out I forgot it, he's gonna think I did. Make sense? 229 00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:26,038 -No. -Totally. 230 00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:30,417 Mallory, look, we all know you're great at remembering important dates. 231 00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:31,919 I'm not great at it. 232 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:34,838 I just put in the effort-- Stop stealing my shit. 233 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:37,591 Look, all you have to do is make a Google calendar 234 00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:42,012 with everyone's important dates with reminders so you don't forget. 235 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:42,971 That sounds neat. 236 00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:45,682 Can you check to see if our kiss-iversary is in there? 237 00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:47,351 I'm going to say it isn't. 238 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,646 I tend not to put in the date of when you first cheated on our mother. 239 00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:52,815 Oh, right. Gotcha. 240 00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:55,234 Do you remember any details about the night? 241 00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,361 Well, it was in 1995. 242 00:12:57,444 --> 00:13:00,364 We were at the ABA Family Law Conference in New York. 243 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,491 I spoke at a workshop that day. 244 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,743 Okay, here it is. 245 00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:07,579 The law conference was the 6th to the 9th. 246 00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:11,124 That would mean our kiss-iversary is either the 7th or 8th. 247 00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,626 I know how to handle this. 248 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,878 You need to go with the first date, the 7th. 249 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:18,924 Plan something incredible that can only happen that night. 250 00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:23,011 That way, if you're wrong and it's the 8th, you're covered. 251 00:13:23,095 --> 00:13:26,598 You just say that you had to celebrate it early because of the event. 252 00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:27,891 That's perfect. 253 00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:30,310 I knew there was a reason why I came here today. 254 00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:32,145 Now I just need to find an event. 255 00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:36,692 Ooh! There's a Revolutionary War reenactment at Balboa Park. 256 00:13:36,775 --> 00:13:41,238 Or something maybe Sol, or literally anyone, might enjoy? 257 00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:43,907 Art Garfunkel's playing that night. 258 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,201 Music? Hmm. 259 00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:49,621 I'd better find my Scotch flask. 260 00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:53,417 -Who is Missy Pachangas? -I don't know. 261 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,044 How do you not know? You're married to her. 262 00:13:57,462 --> 00:14:01,091 I'm sorry that took so long. Faking sick made me feel actually sick. 263 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:05,304 Jessica, I am sure there's a rational explanation for all of this. 264 00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:08,765 Coyote, what is the rational explanation for all of this? 265 00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:13,020 I have none. I have no idea who this Missy Pachangas is. 266 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:16,732 Oh, I know her. 267 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:21,278 Why would you propose to me if you're in a relationship with someone else? 268 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,323 I'm not in a relationship with someone else. Okay? 269 00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:27,159 I had no idea that I was married until five minutes ago. 270 00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:28,619 When were you in Oxnard? 271 00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:32,080 Never. No, we met in Vegas on separate benders. 272 00:14:32,164 --> 00:14:34,958 All I remember is we went to a wedding together. 273 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:36,543 Your wedding? 274 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:41,131 -I'm starting to think so, yes. -Okay. So, what do we do now? 275 00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,467 We gotta get this guy divorced. 276 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,469 Yeah. 277 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,347 And we get to go to Oxnard. 278 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,357 Can you put your seatbelt on? 279 00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,484 What's the point? 280 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:04,321 Who would have guessed this would be my last time in Mexico? 281 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,865 I would've guessed it was my last time. 282 00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:10,160 But neither of us is dying in the next three months. 283 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,789 All those Gor-Chupas I have yet to crunch. 284 00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:18,168 Who knew I was gonna die so young? 285 00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:21,630 I guess I need to get my affairs in order. 286 00:15:22,381 --> 00:15:25,050 We have to see if Weird Al is available. 287 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:28,512 -He'll know what to do. -You need to leave that poor man alone. 288 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:32,599 And you are not dying anytime soon, and I'm gonna prove it to you. 289 00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:37,104 I don't even know why we're here. 290 00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:40,899 -I'll be six feet under in no time. -Stop talking like that. 291 00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:42,442 In five minutes, my doctor, 292 00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:46,113 who has an actual medical degree, unlike your doctor, 293 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:49,992 whose degree is a pile of sticks tangled up in fishing line-- 294 00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:54,329 It's a dream catcher, and it saved me from the flu once. 295 00:15:54,413 --> 00:15:56,081 Okay, God. 296 00:15:56,164 --> 00:16:00,168 Well, my doctor went to Harvard, and then he want to Johns Hopkins, 297 00:16:00,252 --> 00:16:02,295 then he went back to Harvard to teach, 298 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:04,464 so if you have something that's gonna kill you 299 00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:07,175 in the next three months, he's the guy who can fix it. 300 00:16:07,259 --> 00:16:11,930 Even if that's true, it only means I'm gonna die some other way. 301 00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:15,434 A car accident, hang-gliding accident, avalanche accident-- 302 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,978 There are no avalanches in San Diego. 303 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,980 -What if we go on a trip? -We won't. 304 00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:22,232 What if a big rock falls on me? 305 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,150 From where? 306 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:26,445 I don't know, Grace, maybe a goat kicks it off a ledge? 307 00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:27,446 Use your head. 308 00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,156 You know what? Fine. 309 00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:33,452 Let's say we do know the day that a goat is gonna kick a rock off a cliff-- 310 00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:34,745 We do. 311 00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,664 Can't we take precautions to stop it from happening? 312 00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:40,083 For instance, we could just stay inside our home 313 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,460 and wrap you in bubble wrap. 314 00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:44,212 Now you'll let me wrap myself in bubble wrap? 315 00:16:44,296 --> 00:16:45,130 -Well... -[door opens] 316 00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:48,967 Okay, Frankie, Grace, sorry to keep you waiting. 317 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:52,929 But we've reviewed the tests and your EKG. 318 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,431 The short of it all: 319 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:58,435 I see no medical reason for you to expire in the next three months. 320 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,021 Oh, that's a relief, isn't it, Frankie? 321 00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:03,023 I guess. 322 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,108 What about you, Grace? 323 00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,526 The last time you were here 324 00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:09,529 we discussed the possibility of you cutting back on your drinking 325 00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:11,907 because your blood pressure was a little high. 326 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:17,162 Well, if my blood pressure is a little high, it's because of this one. 327 00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:21,666 And the only thing that helps with that is the drinking, so, no. 328 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:25,504 I published a paper in the New England Journal of Medicine 329 00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:26,922 on the effects of drinking-- 330 00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:29,424 Yeah, yeah, yeah, Harvard. You don't know everything. 331 00:17:29,508 --> 00:17:30,717 Come on, let's go. 332 00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:33,136 -Hmm. -[door opens] 333 00:17:34,805 --> 00:17:35,847 Okay. 334 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,935 -You want to get some ice cream? -[Frankie] What for? 335 00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:42,395 People say it tastes good. 336 00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:43,480 I guess. 337 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:48,902 Might as well live every moment I have left to the fullest. 338 00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:50,779 Or whatever. 339 00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:54,199 -YOLO. -That's the spirit. 340 00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:57,285 Let's go get you some frozen YOLO. 341 00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,913 You don't understand, Grace. 342 00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:04,918 If I'm not going to die of natural causes, and I can prevent an accidental death, 343 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,045 it can only mean one thing. 344 00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:09,506 Yes, it means you're not gonna die. 345 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,592 No. I'm gonna be murdered. 346 00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:16,221 God. Please don't make a murder board. 347 00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:23,812 All right, Grace. Here are all the suspects. 348 00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:26,439 This is insane. You know that. 349 00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:32,070 Robert, Sol, Brianna, Bud, really don't have a great motive. 350 00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:33,947 Good point, good point. 351 00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:36,491 And Mal doesn't have it in her. 352 00:18:36,575 --> 00:18:38,243 You forgot Coyote. 353 00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:42,539 Yeah, of course. Yeah. And take me off too. 354 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,666 You're the lead suspect. 355 00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:49,713 Like most serial killers, you started by killing bunnies. 356 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:52,424 Honey, if I was gonna murder you, I'd have done it by now. 357 00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:56,178 -Now take my face off the board. -Or what? 358 00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:59,347 You'll murder me in three months? Interesting. 359 00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:02,142 God. Nobody is gonna murder you. 360 00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:06,146 Ever. Everyone loves you. 361 00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,190 That is true. 362 00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,817 Everyone does love me. 363 00:19:10,901 --> 00:19:13,612 That's what makes my murder so confounding. 364 00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:17,991 I'm afraid that we've never seen a case like this. 365 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:20,160 Yeah, well, that's for sure. 366 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,497 Whoa, wait. Why am I back up there? 367 00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:26,166 You're obsessed with me. 368 00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:29,461 I catch you looking at me all the time. 369 00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:31,838 Like right now. 370 00:19:31,922 --> 00:19:33,173 Because I'm talking to you? 371 00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:35,800 Well, then I'm out of ideas. 372 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,888 You said it yourself, Grace. Everyone loves me. 373 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:43,516 Except... 374 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:47,520 Ugh. 375 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:51,274 -He's screening my calls. -How do you know? 376 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,276 Because he keeps hanging up on me. 377 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:57,322 Just because Jack doesn't like you, doesn't mean he's a murderer. 378 00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:58,865 If he keeps hanging up on you, 379 00:19:58,949 --> 00:20:01,159 it does mean that he doesn't want to talk to you. 380 00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:03,662 But I need to talk to him. 381 00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:07,499 I still owe him a serious apology for what I did to him. 382 00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:09,876 And even if he's not my killer, 383 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,588 I still want him to feel super sad when he finds out I've been murdered. 384 00:20:13,672 --> 00:20:15,006 Tell him to come over. 385 00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:18,385 How can I get him to come over when he keeps hanging up on me? 386 00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:20,595 You could pull the classic closure move. 387 00:20:20,679 --> 00:20:22,430 One last shag? 388 00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:24,849 I'm really not in the mood. 389 00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:27,352 -Can I tell him you want to? -No. 390 00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:30,230 You tell him he left a bunch of his stuff here 391 00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:31,606 and he's gotta come get it. 392 00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:35,402 Got it. But put on something a little nicer just in case. 393 00:20:43,952 --> 00:20:46,454 -[Sol] Robert, where are you? -[Robert] Here! 394 00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:53,336 Voila. 395 00:20:55,755 --> 00:21:00,427 Guess our anniversary was in your important file after all. 396 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,387 The system works, Sol. 397 00:21:03,221 --> 00:21:04,139 Have a seat. 398 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,310 And Happy Kiss-iversary. 399 00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:11,688 [cell phone chiming] 400 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,606 Oh. Excuse me. 401 00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:20,488 Yes. 402 00:21:20,572 --> 00:21:22,657 So, I did a deep Google-dive 403 00:21:22,741 --> 00:21:25,076 and figured out the day you spoke at the conference. 404 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,370 It was the 8th. Your anniversary is tomorrow. 405 00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:28,913 Thank you, Mallory. 406 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:33,168 Sol... 407 00:21:34,252 --> 00:21:36,755 what day is our kiss-iversary? 408 00:21:36,838 --> 00:21:39,549 What do you mean? It's today, the 7th. 409 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:44,095 Aha! It's the 8th! It's not tonight. You forgot. 410 00:21:44,679 --> 00:21:45,680 I did? 411 00:21:47,849 --> 00:21:49,642 Oh, God, I did. 412 00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:51,478 -It's the 8th. -Mm-hm. 413 00:21:52,562 --> 00:21:55,023 But why are we celebrating tonight? 414 00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:58,985 Because you forgot too. 415 00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:02,030 So it was in your unimportant file. 416 00:22:02,113 --> 00:22:07,660 Well, Sol, I'm brave enough to admit, just like you, yes, I forgot. 417 00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:11,081 But it has nothing to do with the unimportant file, 418 00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:12,832 or memory loss, or whatever. 419 00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:17,420 Sometimes things just slip out of your brain despite your best efforts. 420 00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,130 I guess so. 421 00:22:21,341 --> 00:22:23,051 But how did you remember? 422 00:22:23,134 --> 00:22:24,135 I didn't. 423 00:22:24,886 --> 00:22:27,055 Mallory just called and told me. 424 00:22:27,138 --> 00:22:28,848 The only reason she found it 425 00:22:28,932 --> 00:22:33,144 is because I remembered it was the night of my speech that we kissed. 426 00:22:33,228 --> 00:22:37,357 Sol, you could never be in the unimportant file. 427 00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:39,317 Oh, honey. 428 00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:45,865 Wait, we didn't kiss the night of your speech. 429 00:22:47,075 --> 00:22:47,951 We didn't? 430 00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:50,537 I don't know, did we? 431 00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:54,207 I'll call Mallory later. Let's eat. 432 00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,002 Cheers. 433 00:22:58,086 --> 00:22:59,003 Yep. 434 00:23:10,598 --> 00:23:12,350 Hi. Missy? 435 00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:13,518 Do I know you? 436 00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:15,145 Not really. 437 00:23:15,770 --> 00:23:17,147 But I'm your husband. 438 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,861 No shit, dude. I remember having a great time in Vegas 439 00:23:22,944 --> 00:23:25,447 with a guy I fished out of the fountain at the Bellagio. 440 00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:29,159 I had bad information that it was the pool. 441 00:23:29,242 --> 00:23:32,620 Apparently you both had such a good time, you got married. 442 00:23:33,496 --> 00:23:34,414 Oh, my God. 443 00:23:34,497 --> 00:23:37,834 Oh, it's bonkers to see you after all this time. 444 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:41,463 So all we need to do here is have you sign these papers 445 00:23:41,546 --> 00:23:43,047 and we can get you both divorced. 446 00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:47,594 Missy Pachangas, 447 00:23:47,677 --> 00:23:51,598 will you make me the happiest guy on earth and divorce me? 448 00:23:53,433 --> 00:23:54,267 Nope. 449 00:23:58,813 --> 00:23:59,939 [knocking on door] 450 00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:08,406 -Hey, Jack. -Hello. 451 00:24:08,490 --> 00:24:12,202 You've aged well. How's it hang-a-langing? 452 00:24:12,285 --> 00:24:13,745 Just fine, thank you. 453 00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:18,124 If you'd please give me my belongings, I'll be on my way. 454 00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:22,212 Certainly, certainly. I know I'd be upset if I left this, so... 455 00:24:22,295 --> 00:24:23,546 This is yours. 456 00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:24,756 I don't think so. 457 00:24:24,839 --> 00:24:27,008 Yeah. Your glasses are still in it. 458 00:24:27,091 --> 00:24:28,801 Agree to disagree. 459 00:24:30,178 --> 00:24:32,639 But can I get my glasses back? 460 00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:37,143 You made me come here for nothing? 461 00:24:37,227 --> 00:24:38,228 No. 462 00:24:38,311 --> 00:24:41,773 I need you to stop hating me with your fiery rage. 463 00:24:42,690 --> 00:24:45,276 I don't have a fiery rage for you. 464 00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:49,072 But I treated you unfairly during our relationship. 465 00:24:49,155 --> 00:24:50,114 Correct. 466 00:24:50,198 --> 00:24:54,661 Now that we've both acknowledged that, maybe you can stop stewing with fury. 467 00:24:54,744 --> 00:24:56,120 I'm not stewing. 468 00:24:56,204 --> 00:25:00,416 And I have no fury whatsoever. I feel quite fine, thank you. 469 00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:03,378 Really? I didn't send you back to the psych ward? 470 00:25:03,461 --> 00:25:04,295 Nope. 471 00:25:04,379 --> 00:25:07,590 -Did you need to up the Prozac? -No. Why would I? 472 00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:12,095 I don't know, maybe to stop yourself from killing me in three months? 473 00:25:19,394 --> 00:25:20,478 I'm stuffed. 474 00:25:21,354 --> 00:25:22,522 I'm sleepy. 475 00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:27,652 I'll get us the water, you turn down the bed. 476 00:25:27,735 --> 00:25:28,736 Deal. 477 00:25:36,494 --> 00:25:38,705 What was I supposed to be doing in here again? 478 00:25:38,788 --> 00:25:39,831 Water! 479 00:25:42,250 --> 00:25:44,419 What am I supposed to be doing? 480 00:25:44,502 --> 00:25:45,628 The bed! 481 00:25:46,713 --> 00:25:47,672 [cell phone chimes] 482 00:26:00,184 --> 00:26:04,355 I assure you that there's no way I'm your murderer in three months. 483 00:26:04,439 --> 00:26:09,152 I believe you, but I can't help but be disappointed by this. 484 00:26:09,235 --> 00:26:12,780 If you're worried about dying with us being unresolved, 485 00:26:12,864 --> 00:26:16,159 I forgive you, and you can stop punishing yourself. 486 00:26:16,242 --> 00:26:19,996 Really? After everything I did to you? 487 00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:23,124 Wow, Jack, you are a really good guy. 488 00:26:23,207 --> 00:26:28,421 And for what it's worth, you did not deserve how I treated you. 489 00:26:30,673 --> 00:26:32,884 But you do deserve this. 490 00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:37,722 And you did come for your stuff. 491 00:26:38,681 --> 00:26:40,391 But I gave that to you. 492 00:26:40,475 --> 00:26:43,478 I want you to have the complete set. 493 00:26:44,687 --> 00:26:46,022 Thank you. 494 00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:48,316 Oh, I feel so much better. 495 00:26:48,399 --> 00:26:50,985 Wanna cap this off with a closure hug? 496 00:26:51,069 --> 00:26:52,487 No thanks. 497 00:26:53,988 --> 00:26:56,366 But I thought you forgave me? 498 00:26:56,449 --> 00:26:58,868 I do. I just don't like you. 499 00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:02,038 What? No. What? You don't understand, everyone likes me. 500 00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:03,915 I don't. I'm going home now. 501 00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:08,378 Okay, what do we need to do to get through this impasse? 502 00:27:08,461 --> 00:27:12,215 Nothing. You just have to live with the fact that I don't like you. 503 00:27:12,298 --> 00:27:16,052 But on the upside, I'm guessing that you're gonna have to live with that 504 00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:18,137 for a lot longer than three months. 505 00:27:18,221 --> 00:27:20,932 Are you trying to get me to date you again? 506 00:27:21,015 --> 00:27:24,018 Because I will. Well played, sir. 507 00:27:24,686 --> 00:27:25,687 Goodbye, Frankie. 508 00:27:39,659 --> 00:27:42,745 Bad news: Jack is not my killer. 509 00:27:42,829 --> 00:27:45,373 That's a real shame. What happened? 510 00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:48,376 He forgave me. We have closure. 511 00:27:48,918 --> 00:27:50,878 Why aren't you doing your closure dance? 512 00:27:50,962 --> 00:27:53,214 Jack says he doesn't like me. 513 00:27:53,297 --> 00:27:54,257 Uh-huh. 514 00:27:55,216 --> 00:27:56,801 I mean, how can he not like me? 515 00:27:56,884 --> 00:27:59,220 You forgive someone and then you like them again. 516 00:27:59,762 --> 00:28:01,305 That's not always how it works. 517 00:28:01,389 --> 00:28:04,475 I need to know in my limited time left on earth, 518 00:28:04,559 --> 00:28:06,686 that I'm universally beloved. 519 00:28:07,687 --> 00:28:14,068 Look, first of all, you are an extremely loved person. 520 00:28:14,652 --> 00:28:16,028 A national treasure? 521 00:28:17,113 --> 00:28:19,449 Yeah, sure, a national treasure. 522 00:28:19,532 --> 00:28:22,243 You know, but it's not so bad to be disliked. 523 00:28:22,660 --> 00:28:26,372 -I mean, a lot of people don't like me. -You know about that? 524 00:28:27,415 --> 00:28:29,751 Yes. It doesn't bother me. 525 00:28:29,834 --> 00:28:33,504 It's kind of a relief not to have to be liked by everyone. 526 00:28:34,213 --> 00:28:37,675 -Just another thing we can't control. -Right. Exactly. 527 00:28:37,759 --> 00:28:38,885 Like when you die. 528 00:28:39,677 --> 00:28:43,723 I mean, the average life expectancy for a woman is 78. 529 00:28:43,806 --> 00:28:45,099 We're past that. 530 00:28:46,309 --> 00:28:48,060 So, what can anyone do? 531 00:28:48,144 --> 00:28:52,106 I mean, we all have a death date. I just know mine. 532 00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:56,027 -Yeah. -You know what's funny, Grace? 533 00:28:56,110 --> 00:28:58,738 You're the biggest control freak I know, 534 00:28:58,821 --> 00:29:02,575 yet the inevitable doesn't seem to bother you at all. 535 00:29:03,034 --> 00:29:04,202 [wheezing] 536 00:29:04,285 --> 00:29:06,496 Grace? Grace? 537 00:29:06,579 --> 00:29:09,081 Grace? Grace, what is it, honey? 538 00:29:09,165 --> 00:29:10,750 What is it? What is it? 539 00:29:10,833 --> 00:29:13,377 Breathe. Breathe, Grace! Breathe! 540 00:29:13,461 --> 00:29:15,087 [dramatic music playing]