1
00:00:48,424 --> 00:00:52,762
Here. "Oldest person
ever shot out of a cannon
2
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:55,807
into a giant banana cream pie."
3
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,643
Has a nice ring to it. Wouldn't you say?
4
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:01,062
Frankie, I'm gonna be honest.
5
00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:05,483
When you first explained
what we were doing, I wasn't listening.
6
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:09,654
So, before we shoot anything
out of a cannon,
7
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,573
I feel like I should know what's going on.
8
00:01:12,657 --> 00:01:16,744
It's pretty simple.
I need a triumphant ending for my life.
9
00:01:16,828 --> 00:01:19,831
And I think a world record
would hit the spot.
10
00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:21,541
Oh, good.
11
00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:22,959
Well, look, there's--
12
00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:25,545
There are lots of records we can tackle.
13
00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:28,714
Beard of bees, face of snails.
14
00:01:28,798 --> 00:01:31,175
All kinds of weird shit on your head.
15
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:34,595
What about the weird shit in my head?
Anything there?
16
00:01:35,471 --> 00:01:37,348
Oh, my God, Grace.
17
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,392
Are you... eating?
18
00:01:39,475 --> 00:01:42,603
I need something soothing, damn it.
19
00:01:43,146 --> 00:01:45,022
And these pretzels aren't doing it.
20
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:48,734
Grace quit the Valivan.
She's looking for something to replace it.
21
00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:51,070
Oh, I hear heroin is excellent.
22
00:01:51,571 --> 00:01:53,406
I also know it's excellent.
23
00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:56,242
How many poppy-seed bagels
equal one heroin?
24
00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:59,704
Four hundred, but you'll throw up
before you get there.
25
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:04,375
Wait a minute. There was this dish
that my mother used to make.
26
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,669
It made me warm and happy.
27
00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:08,754
God, it was comforting.
28
00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:14,051
It was this spicy, red,
chicken-y, paprikash-y thing.
29
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:16,429
-Chicken paprikash?
-Can't be.
30
00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,306
-Too obvious.
-Yes.
31
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:20,850
Chicken paprikash.
32
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,645
I want my mother's chicken paprikash.
33
00:02:24,729 --> 00:02:27,398
Of course. There it was
in front of us the whole time.
34
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,650
I spent some time in Hungary.
35
00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:31,861
Incredible heroin.
36
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,453
Look. Molly lifted her own head.
37
00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:41,913
Look.
38
00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:44,373
Her neck muscles
are actually starting to Hulk out.
39
00:02:44,457 --> 00:02:45,291
See that?
40
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:46,209
Yeah.
41
00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:49,378
You used a laser pointer
to show me, remember?
42
00:02:49,462 --> 00:02:51,214
In the video of her gurgling.
43
00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:55,134
You should at least respect the science.
44
00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:56,844
I mean, look. A year ago...
45
00:02:57,470 --> 00:02:58,763
this was my sperm.
46
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,681
Now it's making noises.
47
00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:06,187
It's so noisy that maybe we should
take a break from the baby talk.
48
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:09,065
Okay. I see where you're coming from.
49
00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:12,944
It's that place that hurts my feelings.
50
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,029
I'm sorry, it's...
51
00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:19,659
It seems like our entire lives
have been on hold since the incident.
52
00:03:19,742 --> 00:03:23,037
I wish you'd stop referring
to my daughter's birth as "the incident."
53
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,249
Look, I just miss you, okay?
54
00:03:28,668 --> 00:03:32,046
I'm starting to wonder if you're capable
of getting through a single dinner
55
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:36,175
without talking about her
and just being present.
56
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:38,010
Here. With me.
57
00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:41,013
Of course I can.
58
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:43,891
Great.
59
00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:49,814
Because I had a bitch of a day.
60
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,734
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just--
61
00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:58,531
I thought of this thing
that happened yesterday. At work.
62
00:03:59,115 --> 00:04:00,032
To a co-worker.
63
00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:02,118
-An old lady.
-Huh.
64
00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:05,871
Who--? Who was it?
65
00:04:05,955 --> 00:04:08,165
She's new. You don't know her.
66
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:11,127
She's real old.
67
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,673
-Yeah.
-What's her name?
68
00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:18,843
Um, Bellingham.
69
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,886
-Her name is Bellingham?
-Bellingham.
70
00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,179
Like the town.
71
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:23,306
In Washington.
72
00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:26,434
-State.
-Yeah, I know Bellingham is the baby.
73
00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:28,185
Yeah. Bellingham's the baby.
74
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:31,397
You know what?
Let's do a real date night this weekend.
75
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,817
And I promise I'll focus my attention
solely on you.
76
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:37,320
Now there's the man I refuse to marry.
77
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:38,904
That's me.
78
00:04:40,156 --> 00:04:42,783
Frankie Bergstein
attempting the world record
79
00:04:42,867 --> 00:04:47,538
for fastest recitation
of "Yankee Doodle Dandy."
80
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,833
Okay. Three, two, one. Go!
81
00:04:55,588 --> 00:04:57,006
You did it.
82
00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:59,550
Four seconds. That's a new record.
83
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:00,885
-Yay!
84
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:06,182
What are you so happy about?
85
00:05:06,766 --> 00:05:11,437
That was the world record
for speed-reciting "Yankee Doodle Dandy."
86
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:12,813
Four seconds.
87
00:05:12,897 --> 00:05:16,233
That was the world record
for speed-reciting gibberish.
88
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:21,822
I don't think anyone here is qualified
to judge whether it's coherent.
89
00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:22,865
It's not.
90
00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:25,076
Damn it.
91
00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:27,495
There must be a record I can break.
92
00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:29,663
Well, before you do that,
would you try this?
93
00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:32,917
Does it taste like my mother's?
94
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,087
I don't have any idea
what your mother's tasted like.
95
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:38,297
And definitely not.
96
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:43,094
I'm on my fifth recipe
and I can't seem to get it any closer
97
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,553
to the way she made it.
98
00:05:44,637 --> 00:05:48,140
Well, you must know someone
who has the recipe.
99
00:05:48,224 --> 00:05:50,684
Oh, my brother, Jeffrey, has it.
100
00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:54,522
But we haven't talked
in a couple of decades.
101
00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:58,401
I can't believe that you've been estranged
all these years.
102
00:05:58,484 --> 00:06:01,445
I'm sure he's a real bastard
who caused their falling out.
103
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,447
No, he's a wonderful guy.
104
00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:06,492
Grace is a real bastard
who caused their falling out.
105
00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:07,952
We didn't have a falling out.
106
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:11,914
It was just one of those things
where we didn't speak for a while,
107
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:14,458
then it's too embarrassing
to even talk about it,
108
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:17,420
so you just wait
until one of you hopefully dies.
109
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:18,838
That's insane.
110
00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:21,632
Take it from someone
who's dying next Thursday.
111
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:25,219
You don't want to leave things
unresolved with your brother,
112
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:28,848
especially when all you had to do
was pick up the phone.
113
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:31,767
You really don't understand WASPs.
114
00:06:31,851 --> 00:06:34,186
Okay. Here's what you do.
115
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,189
I sleep with him...
116
00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:44,488
Well, I think we can all agree
that plan is not without merit,
117
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,949
but also not fully realized.
118
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,827
Come on, Grace. Call your brother.
119
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,579
What are you afraid of?
120
00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:55,207
I don't want to get
into a whole thing with him.
121
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:59,420
I just want chicken paprikash.
122
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:05,134
Maybe you'll get
the tastiest paprikash of all:
123
00:07:05,885 --> 00:07:06,886
love.
124
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,264
I've lost the thread.
125
00:07:11,015 --> 00:07:12,892
Am I still sleeping with him?
126
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:23,903
Oh, good. It's you.
127
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,906
I don't think you've ever said that
to me before.
128
00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:28,157
Where's Robert?
129
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:32,536
Oh, he went to Palm Springs a day early
130
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,456
to set up the rental
and go grocery shopping.
131
00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:38,334
-So he's at the outlets?
-He's at the outlets.
132
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,378
-What's wrong?
133
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:46,550
I got the advance Guys and Dolls review
from On Stage San Diego.
134
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:47,760
It's a pan.
135
00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:49,887
-We got trashed.
-What?
136
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,514
But Shushman wrote it!
137
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,182
Shushman loves you guys!
138
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:55,476
Shushman boned us. Hard.
139
00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:58,020
What did he say about Robert?
140
00:08:04,026 --> 00:08:06,779
"The usually reliable Robert Hanson
141
00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:10,824
is unfortunately a shadow
of his former self.
142
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:14,662
Although he said all the right lines,
143
00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:18,374
it was as if he was struggling
to remember them.
144
00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:22,461
Mr. Hanson doesn't so much
strut across the stage
145
00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:24,672
with Sky-like swagger
146
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:30,386
as much as he gasps his way
to the nearest chair for a rest."
147
00:08:33,389 --> 00:08:35,683
This is going to destroy Robert.
148
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:36,600
Yes.
149
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:39,853
He's overly sensitive,
even by gay actor standards.
150
00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:43,607
We can't show up in Palm Springs
with this review.
151
00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:48,571
Which is why we should stay someplace else
with a nice view and no Roberts.
152
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:51,991
-Peter!
-Sol, this is even worse for me.
153
00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:54,285
I did the thing.
154
00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:58,247
-What thing?
-The thing I do.
155
00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,999
A week before opening night,
156
00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:01,709
I meet Shushman for drinks,
157
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:04,295
sleep with him, and we get a great review.
158
00:09:05,004 --> 00:09:06,380
What?
159
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:09,508
You sleep with him for a good review?
160
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:10,884
You're welcome.
161
00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:13,679
Oh, my God.
162
00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:15,889
The Republicans are right.
163
00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:18,142
Show business is terrible.
164
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:19,560
Wait...
165
00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:24,231
If you do this every year,
why didn't it work this time?
166
00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:26,567
Okay.
167
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,571
So maybe it wasn't my best performance.
168
00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:33,407
I had Thai for lunch.
169
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,491
Thai bloats.
170
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:37,036
Who knew Shushman would be so discerning?
171
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:38,370
He's a critic.
172
00:09:38,454 --> 00:09:41,582
His whole job is to be discerning.
173
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,669
We need a plan to fix this.
174
00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,087
Kill Shushman?
175
00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:48,255
Too risky.
176
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:53,427
We're going to kill the review
before it ever gets published.
177
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:54,678
I get it.
178
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:58,432
I have to sleep with him,
but really bring the magic this time.
179
00:09:58,515 --> 00:09:59,516
Go to the gym.
180
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,435
Eat a light lunch. I got this.
181
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:04,480
No. This isn't an '80s steam room.
182
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,774
I'm talking about blackmail.
183
00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:09,860
I love it. How?
184
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,362
-And... go.
185
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:14,740
Oh, shit.
186
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:19,203
Oh. Oh, damn it!
187
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,372
What's happening, Frankie?
188
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,290
It's this fucking arthritis.
189
00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:26,877
I can't break a world record
with these hands.
190
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,254
I can barely hold the chopsticks.
191
00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:33,050
It's the world record for eating dumplings
we're talking about.
192
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,635
Can't you rally, woman?
193
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:35,928
I thought I could.
194
00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,429
But face it, J-M,
195
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,974
I'm just another old broad
with "chopstick hand."
196
00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:43,268
So use a fork.
197
00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:45,354
It's not a big deal.
198
00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:47,856
If I can't use chopsticks, who am I?
199
00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:50,275
Don't you understand?
This is about my life.
200
00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:52,820
How could anyone understand that?
201
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,905
I thought I'd lived a big life.
202
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:58,784
But as it turns out,
I never really did anything big.
203
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,661
What are you talking about?
204
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:04,707
I use the vibrator you invented
every night.
205
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:06,667
And on some of the tougher mornings.
206
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:09,169
But I never became a famous artist.
207
00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:12,089
And the pot strain named after me
turned out to be indica.
208
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:15,175
And my manifesto was rejected
by The New York Times.
209
00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:19,763
You are always gonna be disappointed
if all you remember are your failures.
210
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:24,226
But as you approach the end,
you start to wonder who you really are.
211
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:27,146
And I'm worried
that I became the one thing
212
00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:31,066
I never wanted to be:
just like everybody else.
213
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:32,943
Good grief.
214
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,154
You old people are impossible.
215
00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:36,280
Oh, God.
216
00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:39,450
This is a disaster.
217
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,786
He's coming here.
218
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,330
-Who?
-My brother.
219
00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:47,541
I told him I'd love to see him sometime
220
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:50,669
and he didn't get that I was being polite.
221
00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:53,005
I didn't even get a chance
to ask for the recipe.
222
00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:56,300
And I'm a stranger to myself. Get over it.
223
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:59,219
Why don't you get over your thing?
224
00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:01,430
My thing's about to come
through that door.
225
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,182
Fine. I'll pull it together.
226
00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:04,516
As long as when we're done,
227
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,769
you agree to work full time on helping me
228
00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:11,857
to achieve immortal greatness in this,
the hour of my death.
229
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,942
Yes. Fine. Whatever.
230
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:16,195
See?
231
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,405
That's nice.
232
00:12:18,489 --> 00:12:20,073
Welcome.
233
00:12:20,157 --> 00:12:22,117
You moved. I love it.
234
00:12:22,201 --> 00:12:23,994
Ehh. I don't.
235
00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:27,164
I was so happy to hear from you.
236
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:31,710
And relieved that you're not a guy
who harbors bad feelings about a review.
237
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,963
Oh. Uh...
238
00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:36,882
Hello. Who are you?
239
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:40,177
A guy who harbors bad feelings
about a review.
240
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:45,057
And if you insist on publishing
your vicious takedown
241
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:47,351
of my husband's Sky Masterson,
242
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,311
I'm the guy who's gonna tell your editor
243
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,730
about your arrangement with Peter.
244
00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:53,232
What arrangement?
245
00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:57,152
You're sleeping with the director
of the productions you review.
246
00:12:57,236 --> 00:13:00,531
Ever hear of a little thing
called "journalistic integrity"?
247
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,991
Um, not at On Stage San Diego.
248
00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:04,409
It's owned by Food-n-Things
249
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:07,329
and free at the grocery store
with purchase of sparkling water.
250
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,706
My editor knows
about my relationship with Peter.
251
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:12,292
-He gave me a high-five.
-Wait. They already know?
252
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,628
Wait. We have a relationship?
253
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,630
Not a relationship. But you met my mother.
254
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:20,509
You live with her. We had to walk past her
to get to the bedroom.
255
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:22,886
Hold on. I thought
this was a quid pro quo.
256
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:26,056
How? We had great sex
and I still gave him a bad review.
257
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,976
Hold on. We had great sex?
258
00:13:39,403 --> 00:13:40,445
Grace.
259
00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:43,073
God, it was great
to hear your voice again.
260
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:47,411
Oh, it's-- That's the beauty of the phone.
261
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,037
This is good too.
262
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,292
You look wonderful.
263
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,170
Hi, I'm Frankie.
264
00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:59,298
I'm your sister's best friend.
265
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,633
Then you must be a very special person.
266
00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:03,844
-Ehh.
-Don't mind her.
267
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,554
She's having a late-life crisis.
268
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:08,348
I just wanted to leave something behind.
269
00:14:08,432 --> 00:14:11,518
But all I did was carve my initials
in a block of ice
270
00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:13,145
on the hottest day in August.
271
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:15,731
-Jesus.
-Can I get you a drink?
272
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,817
Thanks, but actually,
I don't drink anymore.
273
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:21,820
-Oh, boy.
-Do you eat food?
274
00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:23,655
I happen to love food.
275
00:14:23,739 --> 00:14:26,450
But right now,
I'm just happy to see my sister.
276
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,201
So...
277
00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:31,038
why'd you call after all these years?
278
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:32,581
I was hungry...
279
00:14:33,457 --> 00:14:36,335
to connect with you again.
280
00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:39,755
-Me too.
-Well, I'll leave you to it.
281
00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:43,300
If you catch me lurking,
I'm just eavesdropping.
282
00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:48,847
Another hour?
283
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,058
You're already an hour late.
284
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:54,770
Look, if Brianna catches me
with her, she'll kill me.
285
00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:57,981
What? No, no, no, just me.
286
00:14:58,065 --> 00:14:59,900
I don't think she'd murder an infant.
287
00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:02,945
No, I didn't just put emphasis
on the word "think."
288
00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:06,406
-Oh, crap. Crap, crap. I gotta go.
289
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:07,407
Gotta go.
290
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:09,785
-Hey. Shh.
291
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:12,329
Here you go. Yeah.
292
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,665
A little... nap.
293
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:15,666
Just...
294
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:23,298
Oh, yeah.
295
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,469
Okay, here we are. Yeah.
296
00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:31,348
Babe?
297
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,892
I've got a surprise.
298
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:37,062
Okay, peanut, stay quiet for
your uncle / dad / best friend Barry
299
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,439
and maybe we'll both survive this.
300
00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:41,358
-Hey.
-Okay.
301
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:47,781
Pop quiz. If you could wish for anything
right now, what would it be?
302
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:48,782
A time machine.
303
00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:53,745
Exactly. A return to simpler times.
304
00:15:53,829 --> 00:15:56,248
Let's be honest, we're not parents.
305
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,417
We're youths.
306
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:04,464
Oh, my God.
307
00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:05,757
Mushrooms.
308
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,010
Let's get weird.
309
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:10,137
Tonight? I don't think it's a good idea...
310
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,264
for my stomach.
311
00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,266
I just ate a bunch of prunes.
312
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:16,435
You have to suck it up
because I've got a plan.
313
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:21,148
We scarf these ASAP
and throw on Leprechaun 2.
314
00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:23,275
Babe. Recreating our second date?
315
00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:25,527
Just reminding you how magical I am.
316
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:26,778
How can I forget?
317
00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:30,741
We ran after a car for miles 'cause
we thought it was a giant Tootsie Roll.
318
00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:33,744
And that can all be ours again.
319
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:37,289
Mm.
320
00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:46,715
Hey, nerd, grow a pair
or I'll dose you like I did last time.
321
00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:48,675
No! No. I mean...
322
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,344
Ha! I'll dose myself.
323
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:52,345
Uh...
324
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:54,473
As soon as my stomach settles.
325
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,559
Which usually takes 60 minutes.
326
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:05,275
What the fuck is this?
327
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,234
Shit.
328
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,571
Uh, that's for one of my figurines.
329
00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:14,117
It's a sleeping bag.
I was playing Campground Galactica.
330
00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:20,165
It's...
331
00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:25,796
What's that smell?
332
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,422
Must be the prunes.
333
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:38,600
No.
334
00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:41,228
It's her.
335
00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,438
I can smell her all over you.
336
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:46,233
-No way.
337
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,401
She's here?
338
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,363
-Oh, my God...
-No way!
339
00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:54,616
-Uh... Who?
-Where is she?
340
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:56,368
I know she's here somewhere.
341
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:00,914
Brianna. Come on.
342
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,333
Bellingham!
343
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,293
Show your face!
344
00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:12,801
I know I've been talking your ear off
about my grandkids.
345
00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:16,930
But I swear, the little one
just smiles at me...
346
00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:18,932
and fills up my heart.
347
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:20,767
Yeah.
348
00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:23,353
You know what fills me up?
349
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,272
Chicken paprikash.
350
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:28,191
Remember the one we always had
when we were kids?
351
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:29,442
-Oh, yeah.
-Yeah.
352
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:32,696
Isn't it amazing how foods from childhood
can bring back memories?
353
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,281
Exactly.
354
00:18:34,865 --> 00:18:38,451
And are your memories
that it was sautéed until brown?
355
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:42,372
You know, I used to make it for my wife
all the time. She loved it.
356
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:45,458
I don't think I've made it once
since she died.
357
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:48,003
And did you make it with water or broth?
358
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,881
While she was alive.
359
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,592
I'm so sorry I missed the funeral.
360
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:57,220
-I'm just sorry you didn't know her.
-Oh, me too.
361
00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:04,936
We could've had Mama's paprikash
together, and...
362
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:08,398
We would have seen you adding onions?
363
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:11,568
Mom didn't make the chicken paprikash.
That was Dad's dish.
364
00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:13,069
What?
365
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,239
He made the chicken paprikash?
366
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:18,950
I thought that's why you wanted
to make it. You missed him.
367
00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:21,077
No. What I miss is...
368
00:19:21,745 --> 00:19:22,579
chicken.
369
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:26,458
I was off it for a while.
370
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:32,047
And then I wanted to find
a really special dish to...
371
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:34,507
re-enter the world of chicken.
372
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,594
So this has nothing to do with Dad.
373
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,138
Jeffrey, I didn't even know he made it.
374
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:43,642
Jeez, can't we talk
about something besides Dad?
375
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,770
So is this why
we haven't spoken for years?
376
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,939
Because you're afraid
we'll talk about Dad?
377
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:52,025
Can't we just, you know,
keep it light and friendly?
378
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,276
Recipe-based?
379
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,946
You're my sister.
I want to have a real conversation.
380
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,156
But you only want to talk about Dad.
381
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:02,786
Yes, but it doesn't mean we have to talk
about that horrible day at the beach.
382
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,371
Well, it overwhelms everything.
383
00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:07,707
I just want to know more about him.
I was 4 years old when he died.
384
00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:11,336
-I have no memory of him.
-Well, then you're lucky, Jeffrey.
385
00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:15,924
You didn't have to go through that.
Count your blessings.
386
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:19,344
I'm sorry if I don't consider it lucky
never to have known my father.
387
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:22,597
You also didn't have to see the person
you loved the most in the world
388
00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:25,392
disappear into the water
and never come back.
389
00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:27,435
Holy breakthrough!
390
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:36,319
But if you did enjoy the sex,
why did you give us such a bad review?
391
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,321
I didn't like the play.
392
00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:40,490
Why is that so hard for everyone
to understand?
393
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,033
Robert was all over the place.
394
00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:45,412
When he started "Luck Be a Lady,"
we'd all be lucky if he got through it.
395
00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:48,248
You really didn't like the production?
396
00:20:48,331 --> 00:20:50,000
-That means that...
-Yes, Peter, yes.
397
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,294
It means I really liked your other ones.
398
00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:55,588
And as pathetic as it makes me feel now,
I really liked you too.
399
00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:57,674
And if you wanted me
to change that review,
400
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,217
if it meant that much to you,
401
00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:02,137
all you had to do was roll over and ask.
402
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:05,015
So...
403
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:07,350
too late now?
404
00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:09,144
Uh, that's what I'm thinking.
405
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,604
-Because...?
-Well...
406
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,523
You brought me here to blackmail me,
407
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:17,027
and then tell me you've been sleeping
with me cynically for years.
408
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,362
-Please don't do this!
-What is the big deal?
409
00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:21,489
Everyone gets a bad review
once in a while.
410
00:21:21,573 --> 00:21:23,408
But it's different this time.
411
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,120
Robert's losing his memory.
412
00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:30,790
-He barely made it through the play.
-What?
413
00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:36,129
I had to convince him to wear an earpiece
and I fed him the lines from backstage.
414
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,215
That's why you had to be backstage?
415
00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:41,760
I thought you just didn't want
to pay for a ticket.
416
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,638
This is Robert's last play.
417
00:21:46,556 --> 00:21:50,518
And I was hoping to protect him
from having to face that.
418
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:54,481
But...
419
00:21:55,940 --> 00:22:00,570
I guess you really can't protect anyone
from facing what they have to face.
420
00:22:04,032 --> 00:22:06,368
I used to play cards with my mother
every Sunday.
421
00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:08,787
And then she started...
422
00:22:10,872 --> 00:22:12,749
At first I thought she was cheating.
423
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,212
Pretty soon I realized
she just couldn't remember.
424
00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:22,801
I saw that she couldn't play bridge
long before she did,
425
00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:26,471
and I wish I could have protected her
from it.
426
00:22:27,097 --> 00:22:31,518
Please give my husband the chance
to end his acting career with dignity.
427
00:22:33,061 --> 00:22:34,979
I'll change my review tonight.
428
00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:37,107
I am so sorry
about what you're going through.
429
00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:39,401
You have my deepest sympathy.
430
00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:41,820
Thank you, Simon.
431
00:22:41,903 --> 00:22:44,531
Peter, you're screwed.
I'll see you in the morning edition.
432
00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:47,992
You are so fucking hot right now.
433
00:22:48,076 --> 00:22:52,163
Ugh. Call me, maybe. Piece of shit.
434
00:22:53,623 --> 00:22:56,334
I am really starting to like him.
435
00:22:57,585 --> 00:23:00,088
I'm so sorry about your dad.
436
00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:01,756
Yeah, I know, Frankie.
437
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:05,844
I can't imagine
how painful that was for you.
438
00:23:05,927 --> 00:23:08,179
And it explains so much.
439
00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:11,975
About your fear of attachments
and sudden loss.
440
00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:14,561
Why you won't go in the ocean.
441
00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:18,189
Frankie, you know
why I won't go in the ocean.
442
00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:20,567
Fish poop in there.
443
00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:22,444
I should go, Grace.
444
00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:27,907
I clearly remind you of a lot of things
you don't want to think about.
445
00:23:27,991 --> 00:23:30,368
I'm sorry that I upset you.
446
00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:33,997
You're not gonna just leave
without so much as a hug?
447
00:23:34,539 --> 00:23:35,623
Or a recipe?
448
00:23:35,707 --> 00:23:37,500
Oh, Jeffrey, don't go.
449
00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:40,211
I think there's a way for both of you
to get what you want.
450
00:23:40,837 --> 00:23:45,175
Grace wants the recipe and Jeffrey
wants to know about his dad.
451
00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:47,635
So every ingredient you give Grace,
452
00:23:47,719 --> 00:23:50,263
she'll give you a detail
about your father.
453
00:23:50,346 --> 00:23:51,431
Frankie, that--
454
00:23:52,182 --> 00:23:54,309
That is the most insane idea that you've--
455
00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:56,352
One quartered chicken.
456
00:23:56,436 --> 00:23:58,188
Oh! Oh.
457
00:24:00,523 --> 00:24:01,441
Okay.
458
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,195
He slept in the hospital
when you had pneumonia.
459
00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:09,532
One diced onion.
460
00:24:11,534 --> 00:24:14,412
At night he would lie on the floor
next to my bed, and--
461
00:24:15,455 --> 00:24:17,832
And sing me the Mills Brothers.
462
00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:20,710
Two cloves of garlic.
463
00:24:23,838 --> 00:24:26,508
He smelled of vanilla on Sunday mornings
464
00:24:26,591 --> 00:24:28,801
when he made us pancakes.
465
00:24:30,011 --> 00:24:32,263
Two tablespoons of Hungarian paprika.
466
00:24:32,347 --> 00:24:35,058
He did a great Bugs Bunny impression.
467
00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:36,935
Can you do it?
468
00:24:37,018 --> 00:24:38,728
Where's my ingredient?
469
00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:40,104
One pinch chili flakes.
470
00:24:40,730 --> 00:24:43,691
-No, I can't do it.
-I'd like a crack at it.
471
00:24:44,943 --> 00:24:45,777
Wait a minute.
472
00:24:45,860 --> 00:24:48,655
I almost forgot the chicken stock...
473
00:24:49,489 --> 00:24:50,865
and the sour cream.
474
00:24:51,533 --> 00:24:53,409
And I almost forgot:
475
00:24:54,619 --> 00:24:59,374
he never left the house
without wearing a hat.
476
00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:08,132
Thank you.
477
00:25:08,216 --> 00:25:09,551
Oh, thank you!
478
00:25:09,634 --> 00:25:12,595
Aw. You're welcome. Oh.
479
00:25:14,639 --> 00:25:17,225
-Any time. Literally, any time.
480
00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:19,811
I'm sorry.
481
00:25:19,894 --> 00:25:23,356
They were supposed to pick her up
before you got home. It was an emergency.
482
00:25:23,439 --> 00:25:25,900
An emergency?
They went to Costco at rush hour.
483
00:25:25,984 --> 00:25:27,944
They're adrenaline junkies.
484
00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:29,362
If they didn't feel terrible,
485
00:25:29,445 --> 00:25:32,365
they wouldn't have bought us
the Jamón de Serrano.
486
00:25:32,448 --> 00:25:33,449
The pig's leg?
487
00:25:34,409 --> 00:25:36,286
I'd rather have my fiancé.
488
00:25:36,369 --> 00:25:40,164
Brianna, we agreed
that I was gonna be on call
489
00:25:40,248 --> 00:25:41,874
until they get a handle on things.
490
00:25:42,625 --> 00:25:45,670
-It's just temporary.
-Except it's not.
491
00:25:45,753 --> 00:25:47,297
It's the new normal.
492
00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:48,423
In fact...
493
00:25:49,549 --> 00:25:51,509
it's the life you always wanted.
494
00:25:51,593 --> 00:25:53,094
Yeah, but with you.
495
00:25:53,636 --> 00:25:55,888
Come on,
it's not like I'm cheating on you.
496
00:25:55,972 --> 00:25:56,931
It's worse.
497
00:25:57,015 --> 00:25:59,225
I'm like the third wheel
in my own relationship.
498
00:25:59,309 --> 00:26:00,810
Not true. No. No, no.
499
00:26:00,893 --> 00:26:04,606
We are a post-modern fam
and you are my number one gal.
500
00:26:04,689 --> 00:26:06,774
Then why change your phone background
from me to her?
501
00:26:06,858 --> 00:26:08,776
That was National Baby Day!
502
00:26:08,860 --> 00:26:10,486
I was gonna change it back!
503
00:26:10,570 --> 00:26:12,655
Why do we need a National Baby Day?
504
00:26:13,197 --> 00:26:15,700
-What is wrong with everybody?
-Brianna, get a grip.
505
00:26:15,783 --> 00:26:17,910
I'm here. I love you.
506
00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:21,039
Nothing has to change.
507
00:26:24,125 --> 00:26:26,377
You honestly still believe that?
508
00:26:27,837 --> 00:26:29,881
You just hid your child from me.
509
00:26:29,964 --> 00:26:31,883
Do you know how fucked up that is?
510
00:26:33,134 --> 00:26:34,969
Actually, you know what's fucked up?
511
00:26:35,511 --> 00:26:37,263
Is that I felt like I had to.
512
00:26:41,517 --> 00:26:43,645
This is really bad, isn't it?
513
00:26:54,238 --> 00:26:58,451
And... the shrooms are kicking in.
514
00:27:06,626 --> 00:27:07,835
Hit the spot?
515
00:27:07,919 --> 00:27:09,003
Mm.
516
00:27:10,588 --> 00:27:12,840
-Ah. You full?
-Oh, yeah.
517
00:27:12,924 --> 00:27:13,883
Great.
518
00:27:17,178 --> 00:27:18,680
Back to my thing.
519
00:27:20,473 --> 00:27:21,933
And what was your thing again?
520
00:27:22,016 --> 00:27:25,645
I needed you to help me
achieve immortal greatness,
521
00:27:25,728 --> 00:27:28,523
and you enthusiastically agreed.
522
00:27:28,606 --> 00:27:29,982
-I did?
-Yes.
523
00:27:30,066 --> 00:27:33,194
Do the words
"yes, fine, whatever" ring a bell?
524
00:27:34,070 --> 00:27:35,697
Yes, fine, whatever.
525
00:27:38,032 --> 00:27:39,617
What's going on with you?
526
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,079
I'm average, Grace.
527
00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,540
Shockingly ordinary.
528
00:27:45,623 --> 00:27:47,792
And that's the way
I'm gonna be remembered.
529
00:27:47,875 --> 00:27:50,044
If I'm even remembered at all.
530
00:27:50,670 --> 00:27:54,507
-How do you want to be remembered?
-Well, not like that.
531
00:27:57,635 --> 00:28:00,638
You know, for the first time today,
I remembered my father.
532
00:28:00,722 --> 00:28:03,266
I mean, really remembered him.
533
00:28:03,349 --> 00:28:06,352
You know, not what he did,
or how he died, or...
534
00:28:07,228 --> 00:28:09,063
what he was to the world.
535
00:28:09,147 --> 00:28:11,399
But what he was to me.
536
00:28:12,233 --> 00:28:16,946
And it brought me a comfort that I never--
537
00:28:17,488 --> 00:28:19,615
That I never knew I could have.
538
00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:24,829
God, I wish he could know
how good he made me feel.
539
00:28:25,955 --> 00:28:29,000
Wouldn't you want
to be remembered like that?
540
00:28:29,083 --> 00:28:30,668
-I would.
-Yeah.
541
00:28:30,752 --> 00:28:33,504
And you will be. Trust me.
542
00:28:33,588 --> 00:28:39,260
The people who love you
will never remember you as ordinary.
543
00:28:43,389 --> 00:28:44,348
Thank you.
544
00:28:47,810 --> 00:28:48,936
And in a way...
545
00:28:50,313 --> 00:28:56,110
that powerful insight came
because I made you call your brother.
546
00:28:56,861 --> 00:28:58,654
So in saving you...
547
00:28:59,363 --> 00:29:01,032
I also saved myself.
548
00:29:03,117 --> 00:29:05,119
Yes. Fine. Whatever.