1 00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:05,106 Bank Manager: You wish to open an account? 2 00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:06,740 Yes, please, sir. 3 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:09,009 It would be an honor. 4 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,980 And what would you bring as... collateral? 5 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,249 It's the thing you want. 6 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:18,419 The thing you want best of all. 7 00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:25,593 You've brought me... 8 00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:27,395 The Vessel? 9 00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:29,029 ( door opens ) 10 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:36,170 After all these years, 11 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:39,039 I finally have his precious... 12 00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,680 This is a forgery. 13 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:52,720 You dare attempt to deceive the Bank of Thieves? 14 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,223 You two are toxic assets, 15 00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:58,492 and you know what the Bank of Thieves does 16 00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:01,662 with toxic assets. 17 00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:02,963 It liquidates them. 18 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,165 - Wait. - No! 19 00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:07,368 Wait, I-- ( grunting ) 20 00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:13,541 ( music playing ) 21 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:24,218 Let me be very clear. No touching. 22 00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:25,986 - It can't be. - I don't believe it. 23 00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:28,722 - It's Santa's sleigh! - Yes, it is. 24 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:32,826 And also, no touching. 25 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:35,229 Chassis made of exotic materials, 26 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:38,466 runners forged of reinforced steel. 27 00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:41,635 I wonder how fast this cat can go when it gets on it. 28 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,271 Mr. Stone, 29 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:45,939 please, may I remind you of the enormity 30 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,475 of our responsibility here. 31 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:49,610 This is the first time Santa has ever left the sleigh 32 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,045 in the care of anyone except the elves. 33 00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:54,114 We have a duty of care. 34 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,850 To guard it, to protect it, 35 00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:58,152 and not to touch it. 36 00:01:58,152 --> 00:01:59,520 I think it's wonderful. 37 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,889 The elves are finally due a break. 38 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:05,025 Yes, indeed. So, as Santa was, and we all are. 39 00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:08,128 Yeah, except for us, 'cause we'll on on sleigh duty all Christmas. 40 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:11,232 I'm sorry, Ezekiel. Are we boring you? You keep checking your watch. 41 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:13,301 Yeah. It's a nice watch. I like it, okay? 42 00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:15,569 - Sunglasses! Sunglasses! Where are my sunglasses? - They're on your head. 43 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:18,439 - Ah. Sun hat? Sun hat? Su-- - Also on your head. 44 00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:20,808 I'm not crazy about this whole vacation idea. 45 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:24,478 What are you talking about? To get asked to go on vacation with Santa is an honor. 46 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,447 I'm not in a very relaxing mood. 47 00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,316 That is why you need a vacation. 48 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,617 That's like me saying I'm not hungry 49 00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:31,385 and you saying so have a big cake. 50 00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:34,488 All right, now, thank you. Librarians, please remember, 51 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,690 the sleigh must rest and recuperate 52 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:40,027 in order to recover its Christmas cheer 53 00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:43,397 after the festive rush, so... no touching. 54 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:46,133 Jenkins, I'm getting this strange, almost subliminal sense 55 00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,135 that you don't want us to touch it? 56 00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:50,037 - Uh... - Jenkins, come on! 57 00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:53,241 We've got a door to catch. Let's vamoose. Let's giddyup. 58 00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:57,911 Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. 59 00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,680 You sure you guys are gonna be okay? 60 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,882 Yeah. We're gonna be here at the Library 61 00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:05,386 with a little quiet time like little church mice. 62 00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:12,926 Let's get this party started! 63 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,061 ( chuckles ) 64 00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:17,265 ( Christmas music playing ) 65 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,138 So, what do you think? 66 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:27,341 You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble. 67 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,877 Uh, I'm at a loss for words, literally. 68 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,445 Knew you would love them. 69 00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,614 I was worried they were gonna be a little understated, 70 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,316 but now that I see them with you guys, 71 00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,150 they're perfect! ( chuckles ) 72 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,186 - Try 'em on. - Right now? 73 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:41,154 - Uh, I don't want to ruin it by wearing it. - It's warm in the Library. 74 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:43,357 - It's so... - Go for it. 75 00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:47,761 Listen, I don't want to get the delicious eggnog on this beautiful craftsmanship. 76 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:50,130 I think I'm gonna put one of these stars 77 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:53,033 on this portrait of Septimus the Seer. 78 00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:55,603 He won't mind. Probably saw it coming. 79 00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:57,438 Jenkins said don't put any tacky decorations up-- 80 00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:58,939 Cassandra: Well, Jenkins isn't here. 81 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,642 And one man's tacky is another girl's tasteful. 82 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:05,112 Ooh, Ezekiel, hand me that tinsel baby Jesus. 83 00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:07,981 Ezekiel? 84 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,583 Where'd he go? 85 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,393 ( zaps ) 86 00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:24,732 Voices: * A day for stealing 87 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:29,036 * A day for trouble and much double-dealing * 88 00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:33,807 * Hooray for greed and laws made for breaking * 89 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:38,746 * We're giving up giving for Happy Thankstaking * 90 00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:41,449 ( cheering ) 91 00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:44,017 Happy Thankstaking, girls. 92 00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:47,054 Ooh, Charity. ( chuckles ) 93 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:50,558 - This is... - It's a Crowlex watch. 94 00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:52,760 I stole it from Value Palace. 95 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,462 This is lovely. 96 00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:58,131 You may put the price tag on the shrine, dearie. 97 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,801 Ooh! 98 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,303 I nicked this one from the mall for you, Mum. 99 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:07,140 - Ooh. - ( music playing ) 100 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:12,513 Thank you. Ooh, that is perfect! 101 00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:15,883 Just remember, love, it's the price that counts. 102 00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:18,719 We are doing him proud this year, aren't we? 103 00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:20,554 ( door opens ) 104 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:24,358 ( gasps ) Ezekiel! Oh, my boy. 105 00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:26,460 Happy Thankstaking, love. 106 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:29,162 You are just in time to give me my gift. 107 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,098 Hello, Mum. 108 00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:34,935 Charity, Honor, Mercy. 109 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:42,676 - What's this? - Uh, it's the glass figurine you said you wanted. 110 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,645 I thought it'd be nice, you know. 111 00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,380 - You've got a collection going-- - No, no, no, no, no. 112 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,816 I mean, this. There's no price tag. 113 00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:50,918 - ( gasping ) - You bought this. 114 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:54,988 How am I supposed to honor the Saint of Thieves with a bought gift? 115 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:58,526 The whole point is you have to give Mum something you stole. 116 00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:01,562 We're celebrating the Patron Saint of Thieves. 117 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:04,565 He can't accept a gift that isn't stolen. 118 00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,900 - He's not real! - Neither is Santa. 119 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:10,003 Which is why we celebrate Thankstaking Day. 120 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,605 And you give the gifts to me. 121 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:16,544 But the gift must be stolen. 122 00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:18,145 You know I don't steal anymore. 123 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:19,346 "Can't steal" is more like it. 124 00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:21,381 - You never could. - ( laughter ) 125 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,217 - I can steal just fine. - He's never had a knack for the family business. 126 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,787 Well, actually I have quite the knack. That's not the point. 127 00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:29,122 Remember when he stole that stupid egg thing? 128 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,191 ( laughter ) 129 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,026 It was a Fabergé egg, okay? 130 00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:36,363 Well, last month, your baby sister Mercy here, 131 00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:38,432 stole a pickup truck with a dual hemi 132 00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:41,702 right off the lot. It was the crime of the century. 133 00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,571 Congratulations, Mercy. A pickup truck. 134 00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,305 A dual hemi pickup truck! 135 00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:48,275 You know, you should try and be a little bit more like your sisters. 136 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:51,278 He's not even in our league. 137 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:52,546 I'm not in your league? 138 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:54,448 If you can't make it in crime, lad, 139 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:58,586 you-- you really need to figure out what it is you're doing with your life. 140 00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:01,855 You want to know what I'm doing with my life? 141 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:06,460 Saving yours and yours and yours 142 00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:09,663 and every damn person you know! 143 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:12,365 Remember last year, hmm? When the world didn't end? 144 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:15,603 Well, that was because of me. 145 00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:17,971 Yeah, I've traveled the world. 146 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:21,475 I've traveled through time, alternate realities. 147 00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:24,812 I've battled demons, giants, and beasts. 148 00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:27,280 And for your information, Mother, 149 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,650 Santa is real. 150 00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:32,853 I know, 'cause I met him. 151 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,196 Did you sit on his lap? 152 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:46,433 - ( laughter ) - ( door closes ) 153 00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:52,405 Girls, stop it, stop it. You've upset-- you've upset your brother. 154 00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:57,010 Ezekiel. Oh, Zekey, stop it! Wait. 155 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:59,880 Listen, love, it's good you got an imagination. 156 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,815 You think I'm making it all up? 157 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,051 Just because you can't steal, that-- 158 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:07,420 I can steal, Mother! I have chosen not to! 159 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,456 I'm doing something important with my life. 160 00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,258 ( chuckles ) Magic? 161 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:15,529 What are you gonna do? Birthday parties? Shriner conventions? 162 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,565 I am talking about-- 163 00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:19,299 actually, you know what? Forget it. 164 00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,268 - Come see for yourself. - ( grunts ) 165 00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:24,437 Take a look at this. 166 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:28,108 Does this look imaginary to you, Mum? 167 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:32,079 ( gasps ) Our shed is bigger on the inside. 168 00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:35,282 This is the Library. Yeah, yeah, it's a magic door. 169 00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:37,751 And-- and you spin the globe and it locks on to any door in the world. 170 00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,653 Because that's how cool the Library is. 171 00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,022 I mean, this is where I work now. 172 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,224 It's who I am. 173 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,559 You know, it's the most magical, secretive, 174 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,895 important place on Earth. 175 00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:52,099 And it is full of the most improbable, impossible stuff 176 00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,500 you've ever dreamt of. 177 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,368 And no one knows about it 'cause no one can. 178 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:59,206 It is top secret. No one's even supposed to know that it exists. 179 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,610 Especially you, Mum. All right, uh, look, you know what? We have to go. 180 00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:04,311 You were right. I was joking. 181 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,313 Uncle Harold, he put me up to it. That flaming drunkard. 182 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:09,750 All right, good-bye now. Merry Christmas and Happy Thankstaking. 183 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:14,588 ( exhales ) Stone? Cassandra? I'm back. 184 00:09:19,627 --> 00:09:20,961 - I'm sorry. ( stammers ) - No, no, no, no! 185 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,730 I gotta take one more look. No, no, no. 186 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:26,066 I gotta take one more look. 187 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,235 ( exhales sharply ) Look at this. 188 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,471 Look at the ergonomics. Deceptively simple. 189 00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:34,507 Once you cut this bronco loose, then you better back up, boy! 190 00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,143 'Cause it'll kick you in the head. 191 00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:39,713 Hey, if I'm honest, I like this more than I do the magic door. 192 00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,749 Guys, where's the globe? 193 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:44,985 Someone stole the magic globe. Oh! 194 00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:48,555 ( gasps ) 195 00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:49,923 Someone stole the magic door. 196 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,558 - Oh, God, Mum. - We need to call-- 197 00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:53,326 Call Baird right-- did you just say-- 198 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:56,697 - "Mum"? - Sorry, n-- uh, 199 00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,999 I might have given the, uh, impression that I was 200 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:01,034 the black sheep of my family. 201 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,804 But, um, in actual reality, I'm more like the black sheep 202 00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:06,940 in a flock of black sheep, and my mum is the shepherd. 203 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,709 Your mother stole the magic door? 204 00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,077 What was she doing here, Jones? 205 00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:11,745 Well, I-- you know how it gets with family. 206 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,747 They just get all up in your face and you just-- 207 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:14,948 Bring the to the secret magic library 208 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,249 to steal the secret magic door? 209 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:17,617 That never happens. 210 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,819 How good is she? 211 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,620 Uh, as a mother? Okay. Not great. 212 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,190 - As a thief. - Uh, okay, not great. 213 00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:26,493 Wrong, Jones, all right? She stole a magic door. 214 00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,997 - She can go anywhere she wants. - We need to get it back. Where did she take it? 215 00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:33,300 Uh, no, no, no, no, no. You are not meeting my family. Yeah, yeah. 216 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,303 This is what's gonna happen. I'm gonna sort this out alone. 217 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:37,771 ( ringing ) 218 00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,606 Hello? Oh, Eve, thank God! 219 00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:40,808 ( grunting ) 220 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:44,311 Flynn was right. This is wonderful. 221 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:47,414 I'd say I told you so, but I'm too relaxed even to be right. 222 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:48,548 Eve: How are things with you? 223 00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:49,917 Actually, we have a problem. 224 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,019 Problem? What's the problem? 225 00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,921 No! No! Cass, please, please, please. 226 00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,989 They're my family. I'll sort it out, please! 227 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,258 - I thought we were your family. - You're a different sort of family! 228 00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,860 - Eve: Cass! Cass, what's the problem? - I like you guys. Please! 229 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,895 Please, please! I'm begging you! I'm begging you! 230 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,496 - Cassandra? - I've never seen him like this. 231 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,299 - Me neither. - What's the problem? 232 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,802 It's okay. We got everything sorted out. I found it. 233 00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:11,972 The bottle opener was in the bottle opener drawer with the bottle openers. 234 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,274 - All good. - Okay. 235 00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:15,976 Flynn, can you ask Jenkins to get me one of those drinks 236 00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:17,577 with the little umbrellas inside? 237 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,246 - Actually two. - Two umbrellas? 238 00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:22,883 Drinks. Bye, kids. 239 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,517 I can't believe you made me lie for you. 240 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,286 Ezekiel, I am not a li-- 241 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,121 - Muah! - Hey, man. 242 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,523 You're amazing, you're fantastic! You're my Christmas miracles. 243 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,359 - I'll see you guys later. - Wait, where do you think you're going? 244 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,461 - To get back the door. - Where does she even live? 245 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,596 - Just outside of Sydney, Australia. - That explains the accent. 246 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:39,499 Problem. How are you going to get 8,000 miles across the world 247 00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,668 with no magic door? 248 00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:43,570 - Solution. - No. 249 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,038 - Yes. Yep. - Nope. No way! 250 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,207 Yep! It's time to let this kitty purr. 251 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,109 Oh, no, no, no. You're not coming with me. 252 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:50,844 Jones, I'm not passing up a chance to drive this thing. 253 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:54,514 I am not letting this sleigh out of my sight, 254 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,016 especially with the two of you in it. 255 00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:57,717 It's all or nothing, Ezekiel. What's it gonna be? 256 00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:01,121 All right, fine. But don't say I didn't warn you. 257 00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:04,291 Hey, uh, don't we need reindeer? You know, Comet, Cancer, 258 00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:07,360 - Flasher, Nixon? - What? No. They aren't canonical, okay? 259 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,129 Reindeer didn't show up in Santa's legends 260 00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,364 until "The Night Before Christmas," 1823. 261 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:14,201 - It must run on rocket fuel. - Nope. Christmas cheer. 262 00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:17,737 All the goodwill running through the world at this time of year, see? 263 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,007 Oh, except it's nearly empty. 264 00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:23,276 It's got its own key! 265 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,578 It's got a candy cane key. 266 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,747 ( engine starting ) 267 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,049 ( exhales sharply ) 268 00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:33,086 Careful, you don't need to show off. 269 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,721 Just take it nice and gentle. 270 00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:37,090 Hey, hey, hey! Settle down. 271 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,758 Trying to get the hang of this bronco. 272 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:39,993 Don't break it! Don't break it! Don't break it! 273 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:43,096 Ah! ( grunting ) 274 00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,369 I think I got it. 275 00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:52,605 Whoa! Santa's goggles! 276 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,007 - Get in. - I'm in. 277 00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,708 - I'm already in. - ( engine starting ) 278 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:56,910 ( sleigh screeching ) 279 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:03,650 Stone: Get ready to drop the hammer and raise the throttle. 280 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:08,121 - Let this tiger bite. - Cassandra: Stop calling it animals! 281 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,691 ( Cassandra screams ) 282 00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:12,826 ( Stone grunts ) 283 00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:16,329 ( all grunting, gasping ) 284 00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:19,499 Sorry. Should have took into consideration the jet stream. 285 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:20,934 - Ha! Oh! - Aah! 286 00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:23,971 - You all right? - You don't get to drive anymore. 287 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,139 What if she's used the door and it's all gone wrong? 288 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:30,577 What-- what if she's stuck in nether space or in limbo? 289 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:34,814 Or what if she's used the door to steal Christmas presents from around the world? 290 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,985 Mum! Mum? 291 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,152 Wow. 292 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,290 Huh. 293 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:46,359 I know they said Christmas has gone commercial, but this... 294 00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,995 is weird. 295 00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,762 It's the Patron Saint of Thieves. 296 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:52,933 A family of thieves? 297 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,835 - Today is Thankstaking Day. - Thankstaking? 298 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,871 It's a thieves' Christmas, all right? 299 00:13:57,871 --> 00:14:01,174 It's-- it's a darkened version of-- of the festive season, all right? 300 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,243 Where robbery and greed are celebrated, 301 00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:05,913 not giving, not generosity. 302 00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:07,480 Saint of Thieves. 303 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,850 In stories, it's like Santa's bad brother. 304 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,954 Huh. I can see the familial resemblance. 305 00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:16,056 - She's not upstairs. - Guys, you gotta see this. 306 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:20,060 Guys, I found-- I found the globe. 307 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:24,364 Oh! Oh, Ezekiel, crikey. You nearly gave me a heart attack. 308 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,033 Having fun, are we, Mum? 309 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:29,336 Oh, these? Uh, this is not how it looks. 310 00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:32,940 Really? 'Cause it looks like you've been using the magic door 311 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,341 to steal other people's Christmas presents. 312 00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:36,843 Okay, then it is how it looks. So sue me. 313 00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:39,079 Look, I've been celebrating Thankstaking. 314 00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:42,515 Greed is good. You know, I got greedy. Good! 315 00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:44,151 Guys, you gotta see this. 316 00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:47,720 Cassandra Cillian. Mrs. Jones, It's so nice to meet you. 317 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,024 Ezekiel has told us, well, absolutely nothing about you. 318 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:54,127 I should hope not. I taught him better than that. Tea? 319 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,862 Yeah. 320 00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:59,799 Guys! Do you know what this is? 321 00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:03,703 It's "The Concert" by Vermeer. 322 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:06,506 In 1990, two men posed as police officers 323 00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,341 and walked into the Gardner Museum in Boston 324 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:11,211 and stole this masterpiece, all right? 325 00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,280 No one knows where it's been for 27 years. 326 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,783 I do. Mum, what have you done? 327 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:20,053 I quite liked it. Maybe in the loo? 328 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:23,723 Mum, this painting was stolen by the most dangerous man in the world, 329 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,625 and you just stole it from him. 330 00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:29,129 Well, with a magic door, he's hardly gonna catch me, is he? 331 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:32,699 No, Mum, this man will. 332 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:36,069 This man you cannot hide from. 333 00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,937 This man does not forgive. 334 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,472 Problem! 335 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,441 The globe is on fire. 336 00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:48,281 That wasn't me. It was like that when I got it. 337 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:55,188 ( all screaming ) 338 00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,291 ( whimpering ) 339 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,893 I'm getting pretty good at flying this thing. 340 00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:03,363 ( whimpering ) 341 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,632 We're coming up over Geneva. 342 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:09,269 - Brace! - ( all screaming ) 343 00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:11,738 - ( groans ) - That's it! 344 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,041 Next time, I drive. 345 00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:16,109 - Ha. - Okay. 346 00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,945 So someone explain to me what this bank is. 347 00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:21,281 Well, legend has it it's a bank for thieves 348 00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,882 to protect their loot from other thieves. 349 00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:25,218 You can deposit what you want, they don't ask questions. 350 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,619 It's guaranteed thief-proof. 351 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,521 Ezekiel, have you ever had an account there? 352 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:30,757 No. I never held on to what I stole for long enough. 353 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:33,993 - Like that egg. - Mum, enough about the egg. And it was a Fabergé egg. 354 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:37,397 I don't care what perfume you put on it, love, it was a stupid gift. 355 00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,699 Mum, don't. 356 00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,573 So, where's this Bank of Thieves? 357 00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:48,041 Here. 358 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,677 - Where's the door? - Exactly. 359 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:53,080 Fancy a game of chess? 360 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,382 You don't know how to play chess. 361 00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:02,222 Hmm. 362 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,495 Well, that's really not how you play. 363 00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:12,199 Stone: Seems to be working for him. 364 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,680 - ( gasps ) - How'd you do that? 365 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:31,151 - You're in my world now. - The chess pieces were the combination. 366 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,585 It's incredible. 367 00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:39,259 Mum, once we're inside, I need you to do one thing for me. 368 00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,827 Don't call me by my real name. 369 00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:43,029 - What's wrong with Ezekiel? - Don't even say that out loud! 370 00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,465 You're gonna draw a lot of unwanted attention. 371 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:48,101 - Why? - Because every no-gooder has heard of Ez-- of him. 372 00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:50,770 Oh, please, you're talking like my son's famous. 373 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,472 Unfortunately, he is. 374 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,248 ( gasps ) 375 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:08,788 "Maintain the honor"? 376 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:10,657 Honor amongst thieves, I guess. 377 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:14,361 This is the one place thieves cannot rob, steal, or kill. 378 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:18,064 What would happen is someone got caught stealing here? 379 00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:21,201 ( groaning ) 380 00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,735 ( screams ) 381 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,540 - ( gasps ) - They're liquidated. 382 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,342 Good luck on the adventure, kids. 383 00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,178 Let me know how it all works out. 384 00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:33,313 - ( groans ) - Come on, Mum. 385 00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:39,719 Depositing one Fabergé egg. Total value, 35 million. 386 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:42,855 You didn't tell me that stupid egg was worth that much. 387 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,324 Google it, Mum! 388 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,630 ( indistinct chatter ) 389 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:59,206 Look at this. South American cartel, Russian mafia, 390 00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:00,773 the Chinese Triads. 391 00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:03,142 It's like every flavor of criminal in the world. 392 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,545 Why are they all twitching? 393 00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:10,283 You \silly girl. That's the ancient thieves' language of Fingerthumbs. 394 00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:13,019 We're all fluent in our family. 395 00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,487 - Mm! - ( gasps ) 396 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,790 Careful, boy. If you don't speak Fingerthumbs, 397 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,926 you don't know what your hands are saying. 398 00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:21,694 Scratching your earlobe at someone 399 00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,864 is just about the rudest thing you can say to a thief. 400 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,236 - Can I get a beer? - Yes. 401 00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:30,870 Looks like the vault's one more level down. 402 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:33,240 - We're gonna need a clear-out. - A what? 403 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,509 A distraction to get the guards away from the doorway. 404 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,812 Stone, you speak Russian, right? 405 00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:43,850 ( cheering ) 406 00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:48,455 ( chattering ) 407 00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,730 ( speaking Russian ) 408 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,413 I think this fell out of your pocket. 409 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:14,947 That's not my wallet. 410 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,319 That's my wallet. 411 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,354 Give that to me, thief. 412 00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:24,090 Who you call thief, thief? 413 00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,758 ( grumbling ) 414 00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:29,262 Maintain the honor. Maintain the honor! 415 00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:32,465 ( grunting ) 416 00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:45,945 Mum, you are here for one reason and one reason only, 417 00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:48,981 and that is to show me exactly where you took that painting. 418 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:52,051 So that's no risks, no trouble, 419 00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:53,720 and do not touch anything. 420 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:57,123 Look, the magic door put me directly inside the vault. 421 00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:00,427 Once we're in there, I'll know exactly where to put this. 422 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:01,661 Oh! 423 00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:03,963 Not so easy. 424 00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,698 ( exhales deeply ) 425 00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:09,802 Maybe we should forget about this. 426 00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,771 I mean, we can just leave the painting right here. 427 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,140 I mean, you saw what they did to people who steal. 428 00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:17,477 Mum, we're not stealing. We're putting something back. 429 00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:19,479 All right, see that button over there? 430 00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:21,314 Press that, it'll disable the alarms. 431 00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:23,282 I'm gonna get there, turn it off, 432 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:24,851 and we'll have a clear path to the vault. 433 00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:28,321 How are you gonna get to that button? 434 00:21:28,321 --> 00:21:29,689 By being me. 435 00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:37,296 ( grunting ) 436 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:46,873 - Huh. - Watch out! 437 00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:49,876 ( grunting ) 438 00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:00,353 How did you do that? 439 00:22:09,529 --> 00:22:11,297 Everything I've seen today, 440 00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:14,667 the wallet lift, the laser dance, this, 441 00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:19,171 with all those skills, how come you're not a great thief? 442 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,441 Okay, Mum, why don't you tell me 443 00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:23,342 which slip did you take the painting from? 444 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:26,112 This one. 203. 445 00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:32,519 Ah. All right. 446 00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:34,521 - ( alarm blaring ) - Huh? 447 00:22:34,521 --> 00:22:36,556 Mum, the door! No, no, no, no, no. 448 00:22:36,556 --> 00:22:37,557 No! 449 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:44,497 - ( alarm blaring ) - I don't get it. We did everything right. 450 00:22:44,497 --> 00:22:46,899 ( exhales sharply ) 451 00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:48,901 ( door opening ) 452 00:22:54,173 --> 00:22:57,043 Oh, no. It's him. 453 00:22:59,512 --> 00:23:00,813 Congratulations. 454 00:23:00,813 --> 00:23:03,616 Very few thieves ever get this far. 455 00:23:03,616 --> 00:23:08,287 You have earned my applause for your skill and your audacity. 456 00:23:08,287 --> 00:23:10,857 No, really, it was-- it was nothing. 457 00:23:10,857 --> 00:23:13,793 Forgive me, but you have the advantage. 458 00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:15,562 I don't even know your names. 459 00:23:15,562 --> 00:23:18,164 Uh, I-- I'm Lenore Jones. 460 00:23:18,164 --> 00:23:20,366 Ms. Lenore Jones. 461 00:23:20,366 --> 00:23:23,570 - Mum! - Thi-- this is my son... Ezekiel. 462 00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:24,837 Mum! 463 00:23:24,837 --> 00:23:27,440 Ezekiel Jones? 464 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:32,011 The Ezekiel Jones? 465 00:23:33,613 --> 00:23:37,784 I wondered when our paths would finally cross. 466 00:23:37,784 --> 00:23:41,053 Uh, we weren't stealing. We were actually returning some-- 467 00:23:41,053 --> 00:23:43,590 Mum, shut up, okay? You've got us into enough trouble. 468 00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:46,859 Don't you speak to me like that. Who do you think you are? 469 00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:50,396 Ezekiel Jones, the greatest thief in the world. 470 00:23:50,396 --> 00:23:53,299 - What? Him? - Which leads me to ask, 471 00:23:53,299 --> 00:23:55,602 apart from being Ezekiel's mother, 472 00:23:55,602 --> 00:23:57,470 who the hell are you? 473 00:23:57,470 --> 00:23:59,405 I'm-- I'm no one. 474 00:23:59,405 --> 00:24:02,408 Precisely. And so I wonder, Mr. Jones, 475 00:24:02,408 --> 00:24:05,512 how did a low-rent, low-class nothing 476 00:24:05,512 --> 00:24:07,379 of a shoplifter like her 477 00:24:07,379 --> 00:24:10,082 defeat the security of my bank? 478 00:24:10,082 --> 00:24:12,184 She is not nothing. 479 00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:15,221 Oh, she is the very definition of the word, I'm afraid. 480 00:24:15,221 --> 00:24:17,323 And yet she still broke in. 481 00:24:17,323 --> 00:24:18,658 How? 482 00:24:18,658 --> 00:24:23,563 I know how to keep my gob shut, don't I? 483 00:24:23,563 --> 00:24:25,031 Jones don't crack. 484 00:24:25,031 --> 00:24:28,134 ( demonic voice ) How did you break in? 485 00:24:31,370 --> 00:24:33,139 - With a magic door. - Mum! 486 00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:35,441 I'm sorry! I don't know why that just slipped out. 487 00:24:35,441 --> 00:24:37,209 ( normal voice ) Why not use it again? 488 00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:38,778 Mum, don't tell him. 489 00:24:38,778 --> 00:24:40,580 ( demonic voice ) Why? 490 00:24:40,580 --> 00:24:43,115 Because it overheated and then we had to us-- 491 00:24:43,115 --> 00:24:44,817 - Mum, don't! - Go on. 492 00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:47,053 - In Santa's sl-- - Mum! Shut up. 493 00:24:47,053 --> 00:24:50,790 - Tell me. - In Santa's sleigh. Oh, my God, I'm sorry. 494 00:24:50,790 --> 00:24:52,792 I don't know what's wrong with me. 495 00:24:52,792 --> 00:24:58,264 ( normal voice ) The Vessel... is here? 496 00:25:02,434 --> 00:25:04,503 Oh, you wonderful woman! 497 00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:05,838 I take it all back. 498 00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:10,176 You are the greatest thief in the world. 499 00:25:10,176 --> 00:25:11,510 - I am? - Oh, you are. 500 00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:13,112 For you have brought me something 501 00:25:13,112 --> 00:25:17,083 I have been searching for across unimaginable lifetimes. 502 00:25:17,083 --> 00:25:19,619 Guards! Sweep the streets. 503 00:25:19,619 --> 00:25:23,255 Find the sleigh and bring it to me. ( chuckles ) 504 00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:25,257 Go! 505 00:25:25,257 --> 00:25:28,094 How'd you do that with your voice? You-- you hypnotized her! 506 00:25:28,094 --> 00:25:33,432 Uh, she's a thief. And all thieves must answer me truthfully. 507 00:25:33,432 --> 00:25:35,234 It is my right. 508 00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:37,937 Just as Thankstaking is my day. 509 00:25:37,937 --> 00:25:41,007 You find me at my most powerful, boy. 510 00:25:41,007 --> 00:25:44,911 And soon, Santa's sleigh shall be mine to destroy. 511 00:25:44,911 --> 00:25:49,982 And then I'll finally have revenge upon my accursed brother. 512 00:25:49,982 --> 00:25:53,285 Oh, my God. You're the Patron Saint of Thieves. 513 00:25:53,285 --> 00:25:54,921 The Patron! 514 00:25:54,921 --> 00:25:56,889 In the flesh. 515 00:25:59,125 --> 00:26:02,061 ( chattering ) 516 00:26:05,932 --> 00:26:07,767 Clear the room! 517 00:26:07,767 --> 00:26:09,636 Everyone must go. Now! 518 00:26:12,538 --> 00:26:14,173 Out! 519 00:26:14,173 --> 00:26:17,209 Everyone keep moving. 520 00:26:17,209 --> 00:26:20,980 - Bring it in. - We found this sitting out in the square. 521 00:26:20,980 --> 00:26:22,348 Stop! 522 00:26:22,348 --> 00:26:25,752 They got Santa's sleigh. 523 00:26:25,752 --> 00:26:28,454 Jenkins is gonna be so mad. 524 00:26:28,454 --> 00:26:31,323 ( dance music playing ) 525 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:35,928 Having a good time, Colonel? 526 00:26:35,928 --> 00:26:37,930 I'm trying to drown this all out. 527 00:26:37,930 --> 00:26:39,899 So much for a relaxing time. 528 00:26:39,899 --> 00:26:42,835 Is it just me or does Santa have horrible taste in music? 529 00:26:42,835 --> 00:26:46,005 Horrible. Look, I'm done. Santa's driving me crazy. 530 00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:48,074 Theses elves are driving me crazy. 531 00:26:48,074 --> 00:26:49,742 - All I hear is this ringing in my ear. - ( phone ringing ) 532 00:26:49,742 --> 00:26:52,144 - No, no, that's your phone. - What? Oh. 533 00:26:52,144 --> 00:26:54,480 - Oh. Ooh, ooh, ooh. - ( ringing ) 534 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,316 - Yeah, hello. - Jenkins, hey, hi. 535 00:26:57,316 --> 00:26:59,518 Remember when you said you didn't know what you wanted to get me for Christmas? 536 00:26:59,518 --> 00:27:02,321 Well, what I really want is for you to help me with something, 537 00:27:02,321 --> 00:27:04,356 and then not tell Flynn and Baird that you did. 538 00:27:04,356 --> 00:27:06,558 All right, Miss Cillian, explain. 539 00:27:06,558 --> 00:27:09,461 We broke the door and we really need to get it working again because-- 540 00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:10,830 well, don't worry about that right now. 541 00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:13,666 - Explain "broke." - Well-- hi, Jenkins. 542 00:27:13,666 --> 00:27:18,104 Um, it overheated and then it caught fire a little bit. 543 00:27:18,104 --> 00:27:20,372 Caught fire? 544 00:27:20,372 --> 00:27:22,975 All right, very well. I can you through the repairs. 545 00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:25,244 Okay. And then we need you to do something else. 546 00:27:25,244 --> 00:27:28,314 Something else you want me to keep secret? 547 00:27:28,314 --> 00:27:29,949 Both: Big time. 548 00:27:29,949 --> 00:27:32,719 What's the point in destroying Santa's sleigh? 549 00:27:32,719 --> 00:27:35,321 No sleigh, no Christmas. 550 00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:37,323 No Christmas, no Santa. 551 00:27:37,323 --> 00:27:39,658 Ahh. 552 00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:41,794 It's the only way to end him. 553 00:27:41,794 --> 00:27:45,131 To make the children of the world stop believing in him. 554 00:27:45,131 --> 00:27:49,869 And then he shall just be a tired old man fading into nothingness, 555 00:27:49,869 --> 00:27:53,639 whereas I-- I shall be stronger than ever. 556 00:27:53,639 --> 00:27:57,609 Sir, we found Santa's sleigh. 557 00:27:57,609 --> 00:28:01,447 It's all because of you, Mrs. Jones. 558 00:28:01,447 --> 00:28:03,716 Now, if you'll excuse me. 559 00:28:06,786 --> 00:28:10,689 So, you're a world-famous thief, eh? 560 00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:12,691 Yeah, I've been trying to tell you. 561 00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:15,061 And-- and you've broken into banks and museums. 562 00:28:15,061 --> 00:28:17,296 Yes, but I've given up that life now. 563 00:28:17,296 --> 00:28:18,731 I'm your mother. 564 00:28:18,731 --> 00:28:20,967 How come I didn't know anything about this? 565 00:28:20,967 --> 00:28:23,770 - Mum, because you never listen. - You selfish child! 566 00:28:23,770 --> 00:28:26,605 I took you in off the streets! I gave you a home! 567 00:28:26,605 --> 00:28:29,008 Made you part of my family. 568 00:28:29,008 --> 00:28:31,911 And you had millions of dollars in your hands? 569 00:28:31,911 --> 00:28:34,613 Where's mine? Eh? 570 00:28:34,613 --> 00:28:37,817 They're going to sing songs about you. 571 00:28:37,817 --> 00:28:40,452 ( chuckles ) The sleigh is here. 572 00:28:40,452 --> 00:28:43,355 Now there's just one little thing I need you to do. 573 00:28:43,355 --> 00:28:46,325 You see, to destroy it, I need to own it first. 574 00:28:46,325 --> 00:28:48,627 It's a terms and conditions kind of thing. 575 00:28:48,627 --> 00:28:53,599 I need you to gift me the sleigh willingly, you understand? 576 00:28:53,599 --> 00:28:55,167 No tricks this time. 577 00:28:55,167 --> 00:28:58,670 But I can only accept a gift that has been stolen. 578 00:28:58,670 --> 00:29:02,341 Then she can't gift it to you because she didn't steal it. 579 00:29:02,341 --> 00:29:05,644 I did, and I would never gift the sleigh to you. 580 00:29:05,644 --> 00:29:08,380 Ezekiel's actually right. 581 00:29:08,380 --> 00:29:13,585 Unless, of course, I was to steal it from him first. 582 00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:16,355 There, nicked it. 583 00:29:16,355 --> 00:29:18,457 Saint of Thieves, 584 00:29:18,457 --> 00:29:22,028 I gift Santa's sleigh... 585 00:29:22,028 --> 00:29:24,196 to you. 586 00:29:24,196 --> 00:29:25,197 ( chuckles ) 587 00:29:32,872 --> 00:29:36,442 What are you doing? You said they'd sing songs about me. 588 00:29:36,442 --> 00:29:39,278 Oh, they will. Posthumously. 589 00:29:39,278 --> 00:29:42,048 The penalty for breaking into my vault is death. 590 00:29:42,048 --> 00:29:44,516 I don't care who you are, or in your case, 591 00:29:44,516 --> 00:29:46,652 whose mother you are. 592 00:29:46,652 --> 00:29:48,120 I'll be back to deal with you 593 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:52,124 once I verify the sleigh is real. 594 00:29:53,292 --> 00:29:54,927 Thank you. 595 00:29:54,927 --> 00:29:57,629 Okay, so now I know how to fix the magic door, 596 00:29:57,629 --> 00:29:59,331 but the magic door is in Australia, 597 00:29:59,331 --> 00:30:02,969 and we're in Geneva, which is not Australia. 598 00:30:02,969 --> 00:30:04,971 You know how Jenkins does that thing where he pops up 599 00:30:04,971 --> 00:30:07,673 in the mirrors and the windows and the picture frames? 600 00:30:07,673 --> 00:30:10,709 - Yeah, the thing Judson used to do. - Tell me, Cassandra, 601 00:30:10,709 --> 00:30:12,578 how do you think he's able to do that? 602 00:30:12,578 --> 00:30:16,548 - Magic? - Yeah. 603 00:30:16,548 --> 00:30:19,886 I can't believe you hid your real life from me, Ezekiel. 604 00:30:19,886 --> 00:30:21,453 Mum, we can talk about this later. 605 00:30:21,453 --> 00:30:22,989 Right now, we need to get out of these ropes 606 00:30:22,989 --> 00:30:24,790 before the guards come back and kill us. 607 00:30:24,790 --> 00:30:26,325 Didn't you listen to anything I taught you? 608 00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:29,361 You hold tension in your body when they're tying the knots. 609 00:30:29,361 --> 00:30:32,698 That way, when you relax, you got some slack. 610 00:30:32,698 --> 00:30:34,901 - Yes, Mum, what do you think I'm doing? - What do you think I'm doing? 611 00:30:34,901 --> 00:30:37,469 - Finding the slack? - Yep. Slipping the knot. 612 00:30:37,469 --> 00:30:39,005 Both: Et voila! 613 00:30:39,005 --> 00:30:40,839 So you did listen to me, hmm? 614 00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:43,042 Of course I do, Mum. I've always listened to you. 615 00:30:43,042 --> 00:30:45,211 - Then why'd you cheat me? - Cheat you? 616 00:30:45,211 --> 00:30:47,113 - How did I do that? - My share. 617 00:30:47,113 --> 00:30:49,148 You must have made millions. Where's my cut? 618 00:30:49,148 --> 00:30:52,218 Yes, I stole millions, but I never kept any of it! 619 00:30:52,218 --> 00:30:54,053 Oh, baloney. Who doesn't want money? 620 00:30:54,053 --> 00:30:55,554 It was never about the money! 621 00:30:55,554 --> 00:30:59,391 I stole because it was an art, and I was an artist. 622 00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:03,329 - I gave it all away. - So you gave away money that could have been mine? 623 00:31:03,329 --> 00:31:06,832 I gave it to people who needed it. 624 00:31:06,832 --> 00:31:09,535 Mum, when I stole the Sapphire of Qatar, 625 00:31:09,535 --> 00:31:11,803 a hundred kids went to college. 626 00:31:11,803 --> 00:31:15,107 When I robbed Fort Knox, hospitals were built. 627 00:31:15,107 --> 00:31:17,543 I've helped them build roads and dams, 628 00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:19,278 and I've supported people, 629 00:31:19,278 --> 00:31:20,913 people who couldn't support themselves 630 00:31:20,913 --> 00:31:24,450 for no other reason than they got unlucky. 631 00:31:24,450 --> 00:31:27,619 That's why the Library chose me in the first place, 632 00:31:27,619 --> 00:31:28,887 and that's why I gave it up. 633 00:31:28,887 --> 00:31:30,990 I give my talents freely now, Mum, 634 00:31:30,990 --> 00:31:34,793 for the greater good. 635 00:31:34,793 --> 00:31:36,695 A calling. 636 00:31:36,695 --> 00:31:39,365 All that money? 637 00:31:39,365 --> 00:31:42,034 You weren't just-- 638 00:31:42,034 --> 00:31:44,836 you weren't just a little bit tempted? 639 00:31:44,836 --> 00:31:47,639 When you've got a lot, you share. 640 00:31:51,377 --> 00:31:54,380 ( all snoring ) 641 00:32:06,125 --> 00:32:08,327 - ( ghostly moaning ) - ( screaming ) 642 00:32:08,327 --> 00:32:11,497 - There's something in the mirror! - What now? Oh! 643 00:32:11,497 --> 00:32:16,035 ( moaning ) I am the Ghost of Christmas Future. 644 00:32:16,035 --> 00:32:18,737 Christmas Ghosts! I hate Christmas Ghosts! 645 00:32:18,737 --> 00:32:23,909 It is not too late to make amends for your terrible crimes. 646 00:32:23,909 --> 00:32:25,411 Tell us. Anything! 647 00:32:25,411 --> 00:32:30,449 Inside of your dining room, there is an old globe 648 00:32:30,449 --> 00:32:35,254 with a shocking amount of new technology inside it. 649 00:32:36,822 --> 00:32:38,057 ( engine starting ) 650 00:32:38,057 --> 00:32:41,027 That's the real deal. ( chuckles ) 651 00:32:41,027 --> 00:32:44,030 Oh, nearly out of Christmas cheer. 652 00:32:44,030 --> 00:32:46,865 Once the needle hits zero, 653 00:32:46,865 --> 00:32:48,500 you go to work. 654 00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:54,473 And then it's God bless us, everyone. ( chuckles ) 655 00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:55,474 ( powers down ) 656 00:33:01,780 --> 00:33:04,083 Stone: Hi, guys. 657 00:33:04,083 --> 00:33:05,751 Bear here with me for a second here 'cause I'm still-- 658 00:33:05,751 --> 00:33:08,820 I'm trying to get the language of the Fingerthumbs down. 659 00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:10,722 Now, let me see if I got this right. 660 00:33:10,722 --> 00:33:12,491 What exactly does this mean? 661 00:33:12,491 --> 00:33:15,494 ( all grunting ) 662 00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:39,785 Feels like I'm already fluent. 663 00:33:39,785 --> 00:33:43,155 Oh, Mr. and Mother Jones, we were discussing the matter 664 00:33:43,155 --> 00:33:45,357 of your imminent demise. 665 00:33:47,626 --> 00:33:50,062 Find them! Find them! 666 00:33:50,062 --> 00:33:53,065 - You guys are late. - Well, we got tied up. 667 00:33:53,065 --> 00:33:54,466 Yeah, I'm betting you guys have a plan. 668 00:33:54,466 --> 00:33:57,769 Of course we do. We're Librarians. 669 00:33:57,769 --> 00:34:01,440 Oh, genius! We're gonna push the sleigh through the magic door. 670 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:04,210 Come on. 671 00:34:04,210 --> 00:34:06,812 Oh, dear me. Dear me. 672 00:34:06,812 --> 00:34:08,247 No, no, no, no. ( clicks tongue ) 673 00:34:08,247 --> 00:34:10,616 No, that won't do at all. 674 00:34:10,616 --> 00:34:14,320 You are going precisely nowhere with my sleigh. 675 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:17,556 You have lost, Ezekiel Jones. 676 00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:19,725 Christmas dies... 677 00:34:19,725 --> 00:34:21,727 tonight. 678 00:34:25,931 --> 00:34:27,766 Very disappointed in you, Ezekiel. 679 00:34:27,766 --> 00:34:30,236 Is that your grand plan? 680 00:34:30,236 --> 00:34:33,705 To push the sleigh through a magic door? 681 00:34:33,705 --> 00:34:37,376 Well, the door is not for getting something out. 682 00:34:37,376 --> 00:34:39,178 It's there to let someone in. 683 00:34:41,347 --> 00:34:44,049 I'm so-- am I late? I'm late. I'm so sorry I'm late. 684 00:34:44,049 --> 00:34:47,353 I got stuck in a conga line. Hello. 685 00:34:47,353 --> 00:34:49,455 - This is for you. - What is this? 686 00:34:49,455 --> 00:34:52,691 A pink slip. A vehicle registration. 687 00:34:52,691 --> 00:34:55,794 By the way, the sender also included this note. 688 00:35:01,967 --> 00:35:03,402 "My dear brother, 689 00:35:03,402 --> 00:35:06,505 I am giving you a Christmas present-- 690 00:35:06,505 --> 00:35:07,573 my sleigh. 691 00:35:07,573 --> 00:35:12,211 I gift it to you willingly and freely, 692 00:35:12,211 --> 00:35:13,645 Santa Claus." 693 00:35:13,645 --> 00:35:16,248 He's giving it to me? I don't understand. 694 00:35:16,248 --> 00:35:22,120 You see, the Patron Saint of Thieves cannot accept a gift that is not stolen. 695 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:23,889 And this gift is given freely 696 00:35:23,889 --> 00:35:25,991 by it rightful owner. 697 00:35:25,991 --> 00:35:28,026 Which means you cannot accept it. 698 00:35:28,026 --> 00:35:29,961 Not now, not ever. 699 00:35:29,961 --> 00:35:35,100 The sleigh and Christmas will always be safe from you. 700 00:35:35,100 --> 00:35:39,104 Forever. You lose. 701 00:35:39,104 --> 00:35:40,372 Big time. 702 00:35:40,372 --> 00:35:42,974 You can't do this to me! 703 00:35:42,974 --> 00:35:44,876 Not in my bank! 704 00:35:44,876 --> 00:35:46,678 Not on my day! 705 00:35:46,678 --> 00:35:48,380 It's not fair! 706 00:35:48,380 --> 00:35:52,150 It's not fair! It's not fair! 707 00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:55,587 It's not fair! It's not fair! 708 00:35:55,587 --> 00:35:58,023 It's not fair! 709 00:35:58,023 --> 00:36:00,025 It's so not fair! 710 00:36:00,025 --> 00:36:01,560 Whoa. What happened there? 711 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:04,230 Well, I think the Prince of Thieves 712 00:36:04,230 --> 00:36:06,532 just showed us his true face. 713 00:36:06,532 --> 00:36:08,934 You know, it's been my experience that behind 714 00:36:08,934 --> 00:36:11,537 every egotistical blowhard, 715 00:36:11,537 --> 00:36:14,440 there is a petulant, scared little boy 716 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:16,442 So, what do we do with it now? 717 00:36:16,442 --> 00:36:18,244 I will bring him back to Santa. 718 00:36:18,244 --> 00:36:20,212 Well, if you will excuse me, 719 00:36:20,212 --> 00:36:22,080 I have a really terrible vacation 720 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,882 that I have to get back to. 721 00:36:23,882 --> 00:36:26,218 Oh, oh, and-- and... 722 00:36:26,218 --> 00:36:27,886 my gift to the three of you 723 00:36:27,886 --> 00:36:30,256 is that neither Baird nor Flynn 724 00:36:30,256 --> 00:36:33,492 ever have to know anything about this. 725 00:36:33,492 --> 00:36:37,296 Merry Christmas. Come along, young man. 726 00:36:37,296 --> 00:36:39,798 Excuse us. Love your gloves. 727 00:36:44,603 --> 00:36:45,971 ( powers down ) 728 00:36:45,971 --> 00:36:49,308 All right, thank to Santa's act of generosity to his bro, 729 00:36:49,308 --> 00:36:50,776 the cheer-o-meter is full. 730 00:36:50,776 --> 00:36:53,512 We can finally fly this puppy outta here. 731 00:36:53,512 --> 00:36:56,815 No, thank you. I have had enough sleigh riding for now. 732 00:36:56,815 --> 00:37:01,086 Mum! You will not believe the night we've had! 733 00:37:01,086 --> 00:37:03,121 We saw a-- a ghost! 734 00:37:03,121 --> 00:37:04,690 Boo. 735 00:37:04,690 --> 00:37:06,558 ( all screaming ) 736 00:37:07,993 --> 00:37:10,429 Ah, guess we're good to go. 737 00:37:10,429 --> 00:37:14,032 Mrs. Jones, it was, well, 738 00:37:14,032 --> 00:37:15,634 not exactly a pleasure. 739 00:37:19,838 --> 00:37:22,073 Hope to see you again soon. 740 00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:25,744 My son has excellent taste in friends. 741 00:37:31,583 --> 00:37:34,453 - Let's go. - Oh, hey, uh, Stone? 742 00:37:34,453 --> 00:37:37,689 Do you mind, uh, taking the door as well? 743 00:37:49,067 --> 00:37:53,004 Well, Mum, looks like we've got one last sleigh ride to catch. 744 00:37:53,004 --> 00:37:54,506 We do? 745 00:37:57,309 --> 00:38:01,313 Come on. We've got a festival to fix. 746 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:06,718 We're going to give back every last present that was stolen. 747 00:38:10,656 --> 00:38:14,225 Return gifts to every grandpa... 748 00:38:14,225 --> 00:38:16,662 mother... 749 00:38:16,662 --> 00:38:18,697 and child. 750 00:38:18,697 --> 00:38:21,733 Because that's what this holiday is about. 751 00:38:21,733 --> 00:38:23,869 ( kids laughing ) 752 00:38:23,869 --> 00:38:25,904 Caring for one another. 753 00:38:25,904 --> 00:38:29,341 - Loving one another. - ( sobbing ) 754 00:38:31,643 --> 00:38:34,713 But it's not just gifts we'll be returning. 755 00:38:34,713 --> 00:38:38,884 We'll be giving them back joy. 756 00:38:49,861 --> 00:38:53,499 That's why giving is always better than getting. 757 00:38:59,771 --> 00:39:03,642 Whoo! Ho-ho-ho! 758 00:39:03,642 --> 00:39:07,145 What a rush. You know, it's exciting giving things, isn't it? 759 00:39:07,145 --> 00:39:09,047 I mean, who knew? 760 00:39:09,047 --> 00:39:12,918 - Let's go get the next load. - Oh, uh, Mum, that's-- that's it. 761 00:39:12,918 --> 00:39:15,153 - What? - There's no more presents. 762 00:39:15,153 --> 00:39:18,657 What? No. No! 763 00:39:18,657 --> 00:39:21,760 But I could have given so much more. 764 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,996 Oh, love, I-- oh, my God. 765 00:39:24,996 --> 00:39:29,100 I've lived such a greedy life, haven't I, Zekey? 766 00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:31,269 Oh, Zekey, I'm-- I'm sorry. 767 00:39:31,269 --> 00:39:34,440 Mum, you adopted four cuckoo children 768 00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:36,207 who didn't have a place in the world. 769 00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:38,544 You think all you taught us was greed? 770 00:39:38,544 --> 00:39:40,779 You gave us love. 771 00:39:40,779 --> 00:39:43,214 You gave us a home. You gave us a life. 772 00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:46,552 That is what I learned from you. 773 00:39:48,053 --> 00:39:49,655 Merry Christmas, son. 774 00:39:52,323 --> 00:39:54,760 Merry Christmas, Mum. 775 00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:56,762 I love you, son. 776 00:39:58,597 --> 00:40:00,799 I love you too, Mum. 777 00:40:06,472 --> 00:40:08,540 A little to the left. 778 00:40:08,540 --> 00:40:10,576 A little more. Perfect! 779 00:40:10,576 --> 00:40:12,511 ( globe activating ) 780 00:40:14,179 --> 00:40:15,647 Go, go, go, go, go! 781 00:40:23,755 --> 00:40:26,157 - You're back! - And not a minute too soon. 782 00:40:26,157 --> 00:40:29,294 That is the last time I take your advice about needing a vacation. 783 00:40:29,294 --> 00:40:32,197 Point well taken, I concur. Last time I take my own advice. 784 00:40:33,932 --> 00:40:35,901 Miss Cillian, Mr. Stone, 785 00:40:35,901 --> 00:40:38,103 how very good to see you after all this time. 786 00:40:38,103 --> 00:40:40,205 ( whispers ) Merry Christmas. 787 00:40:40,205 --> 00:40:41,707 Baird: So, how was everything here? 788 00:40:41,707 --> 00:40:45,043 - Quiet. - ( sighs ) 789 00:40:45,043 --> 00:40:47,879 Wasn't this facing the other direction when we left? 790 00:40:47,879 --> 00:40:49,581 No. No, sir. I saw it was pointing in that direction. 791 00:40:49,581 --> 00:40:52,017 - No, I thought 'cause-- - Oh, no, sir. No, no, no. 792 00:40:52,017 --> 00:40:54,520 I think you've had a little too much eggnog, muddled your memory a bit. 793 00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:59,024 Point well taken, I concur. You know, I thought it would be a good idea 794 00:40:59,024 --> 00:41:00,892 to take a vacation for the holidays. 795 00:41:00,892 --> 00:41:04,462 - But as it turns out-- - Nothing beats being with family. 796 00:41:06,765 --> 00:41:10,035 - Here, here. - Who's up for more eggnog? 797 00:41:10,035 --> 00:41:12,804 Maybe put up some decorations in the main Library. 798 00:41:12,804 --> 00:41:16,642 Perfect! And you can try on the sweaters that I made you. 799 00:41:16,642 --> 00:41:19,110 - All: Sweaters? - Yes! 800 00:41:19,110 --> 00:41:21,713 - Come on! - ( muttering )