[whimsical music]
- What are you making?
- I'm making y'all a special sandwich
in honor of "The King"...
Elvis Presley, on his birthday.
- What is the sandwich?
- Peanut butter, banana, and bacon.
- Eww! - No.
- Have you ever met him? - Yeah.
I knew a lady that lived next door to him.
I've made Elvis a-many of a sandwich like this
and ate one with him, too.
- [laughs] - You are a liar.
- Cross my heart, raise my hand, stick a needle in my eye.
I was friends with Elvis.
- [snickers]
- Now, everybody don't know this,
but I wrote that song "Hound Dog."
- What?
- I'm the one that told him about rock and roll,
you know, like...
- [laughs] - Oh, my God.
- Yeah, rock and roll, rock and roll.
And he'd go all the way down to the floor.
I could then, but I can't now.
- Back in your day, you could drop it like it's hot?
- Yeah, Lord, have mercy.
There are no Elvis Presley
without Faye Chrisley. - [laughs]
- Rockin' and a-rollin'.
[laughter]
- Oh, I love you, Nanny.
[bright classical music]
* *
[regal classical music]
- So, Amanda, what did you think about
the recipes that I had submitted to you?
Those were kind of my classics.
- Yeah, that's a great question.
So we just have to rethink some of those, right?
[bag rustling]
Can I get--um, Julie's notebook comes up, so...
it's really just thinking about the reader.
I mean, how many classic southern recipes
have we've seen, right? So... [plate clatters]
Now it's just, like,
how can we make this different?
- I've been working with a publisher
to develop my own cookbook.
I'm super excited to be working with this publisher.
I mean, she's a professional.
I'm just a mom who likes to cook
and that is pretty good at it.
- Honey, they're gonna love your recipes as much as we do.
- Oh, thank you.
So are you telling me that I have to, like,
change my recipes that I already have?
- I think it's a good start,
- [crunching] - But sometimes
we lean on classic things because we're afraid
to try new things...
[soda can hisses]
It's spot-on
and it's going with, like, the trend...
- This is like 20 and 4.
- Hush. - What?
- [whispers] Get off the phone.
- You feel like nobody else is doing.
I know it's a lot.
- Well, I appreciate that, and I have my list.
And I am working off that list...
- [coughing]
- And the deadlines that you've set forward, so.
Thank you so much. - You're so welcome.
- All right. - Bye.
- Bye-bye.
Are y'all kidding me right now?
- [sneezes]
- Isn't he ridiculous?
- Dorito Dorinda over here.
[chip crunches]
So just tell me how it went.
- I think it went okay.
I mean, I wasn't expecting her to say
that the recipes I had submitted--
- That we love.
Okay, let's just be clear, you're an amazing woman
who knows how to cook extremely well
for Todd Chrisley.
- [chuckles]
I mean, rethink my classics.
I don't even know what that means.
She's given me a lot of deadlines.
- You've got this. You'll be fine.
- I know. I know. It is scary, though.
- And all you have to do is, if somebody says something
about your food, you tell me, and I'll cuss them out.
'Cause now, listen, you know that I don't mind
hurting people's feelings. - Oh, we know.
You're not afraid at all.
- [laughs]
* *
- How are you, girl?
- Well, this girl's doing good.
You know what they say about
wearing sweatpants and things? - What?
- That just proves that you're lazy.
- [laughs]
- What is this on the wall?
- This is a beautiful mural. - It's okay, yeah.
- It reminds me of the first time that I saw a dragon.
- [snickers]
- Where the hell did you see a dragon?
- Don't you remember when we used to take you
on those road trips
when you was a little boy, and we would go
to the woods, and we would see dragons
and Bigfoot, aliens, and trolls.
- [laughs]
- She just made that up, but I mean, whatever.
- You know that I will ride with you on almost
everything that you do and say,
but you just lie, and it's the most outlandish lies.
Like, they're not even a little bit believable.
- Well, tell me one time that I've lied.
- Oh, my God. Are we serious? One time?
- Just one? Just one?
- Mama, you have never met the pope.
- No, not this one, but the two before.
- What about this frog?
- Oh, Morgan Freeman gave me that.
Cross my heart.
I was friends with Elvis.
- [snickers]
- Mama, trolls are not real.
Aliens are not real. None of this stuff is real.
- There are some giant trolls that don't
live far from here in the woods.
And, you know, I can show you some.
We can leave tomorrow.
- Okay. Okay.
- You don't think it's real?
Make it interesting. I bet you 200.
- You're going to bet me $200 that there's trolls
in the forest?
- Yes, that's what I said. - You know what?
This is gonna be the easiest $200 that I've ever made,
so shake on it--ah.
No, we just high-- air--air-five.
- Todd, you're going down.
- No, I'm not, because I know that trolls don't exist.
- Yeah, they exist.
I'm looking at one right now. - [laughs]
- Oh, my gosh.
* *
- Do I like the glass ones, or do I like the other ones?
- I like this kind. [slurps]
- Really? This is a classy store.
Could you please not act like an animal up in here?
- Look at those knives.
- Come on, Mom. What are you buying?
- I am getting some new gadgets.
- What are you getting all that for?
- You know, I've got deadlines that I have to meet
for my cookbook, and I'm trying
to really come up with some fresh
and new ideas, so I need some inspiration.
You know, it's kind of, like,
writer's block but a little bit of food block.
You know, I'm starting to feel a little anxious,
because, I mean, there's a lot of pressure.
I want to make a good impression on this publisher.
- I think when Martha gets that kind of block,
she smokes weed with Snoop.
- Probably.
But since I can't have that right now,
I'm just gonna visit the kitchen store.
- Well, Mama, if you need to test out some recipes,
you have the football party
then you can test it out on all of us.
- I completely forgot about that, actually.
I didn't realize it was, like, coming up this quickly.
I mean, I have so much to do.
I have deadlines for my cookbook that have to be met.
- Mama, if you don't want to do it,
if you don't have time, it's okay.
I'll just...
figure it out.
All of our friends will be disappointed
and hungry and not have anything,
but I have been talking about your nachos for a week.
- Yeah, he has. He's told everyone about them,
said how awesome they were; I mean, all of it.
- Okay. Okay. - And your wings.
- I will do it. I will do it.
I mean, it'll be fine. It'll be perfectly fine.
- That's the attitude to have. - Yeah!
- That didn't sound too genuine.
- Everything is about energy, you know?
Like, you have to have good energy.
- Energy, what he said.
- You need to-- Savannah, shut up.
- [chuckles]
[twangy guitar music]
- * Home on the range *
both: * Where the deer and the antelopes... *
- * Play * - * Roam *
- It's where the deer and the antelope play.
- Okay, well, I'll say it.
Where the deers and the antelopes play.
- Okay, then go ahead.
* Home on the range * - * Home on the line *
both: * Where the deer and the antelopes... *
- * Play * - * Roam *
- It's "play."
You just said you would sing it right.
- Oh. Well, I did, Todd.
'Cause--and they're roaming; they're not playing.
They're trying to find something to eat.
- Okay, let's just move on to something else.
- Todd, I love a road trip,
and these country roads bring me back.
You was my adventure buddy. - [chuckles]
- The smallest things would make you squeal with happiness.
- I didn't squeal.
- You was a squealer.
* *
I can't wait to see the trolls.
Did you bring your money?
- Mama, I'm not gonna have to pay you,
because there's no trolls.
- Okay. - But regardless of that...
Mama, what the hell do you have a paper map for?
- Todd, this is how we travelled
everywhere when you was a little boy.
I did just like this.
This is ac'rate.
- This is what? - This is ac...
[laughs] I can't...
- Accurate.
- Ac'rate. This is ac'rate.
- It's--never mind.
[regal classical music]
- All right.
Are y'all ready to help? - Yep.
Let's get it done. - Yeah, come on.
- What do you need me to do?
- Okay, I need you to focus on the steak.
- Okay.
- Chase, I need you down--
you're gonna separate the chicken wings.
I'm trying to get my recipes for my cookbook together,
so I need you guys to really pay attention
to what you're doing.
- Is it true that you can eat raw chicken?
- Are you dumb? No. - No, you cannot.
I'm gonna try to maximize my time by trying out some of my
new recipes on Chase and Savannah's friends.
- And the great thing about our party is,
even if your recipes are not great,
our friends will eat anything. I mean, they're animals.
- Thanks, Chase.
- I got you, Mama.
- Peel the onion. I need it cut into half-moons.
Thinly sliced half-moons.
[utensil clatters]
Okay, I'll let you go with that.
All right, now. Come on, get busy.
You gotta get those wings done.
I got to get them in the oven
so we can put our glaze on them.
- Mama, I don't know about this.
These wings are not turning out like any wings I've ever had.
- Savannah, what are you doing? - I'm putting pepper in it.
It needs some pepper.
- I don't need you tweaking my recipe.
Chase and Savannah are actually pretty good cooks,
but when you really need them to do something,
they're no help.
- Dude, these are a pain in the ass.
- [laughs] - This tastes different.
I don't like it.
- Okay, well, add in a few different spices.
You know, my recipes have to stand out, Savannah.
I don't know what in the world--
I'm trying to incorporate new things,
Savannah's not liking it.
You want to criticize my vegetables.
- I'm just trying to help.
- You're over here still trying to cut something
and don't know how to do it.
And Elliot, I mean, God love him--
- It's Elliott.
- All I needed was some help.
Are you crying?
- No, it's just the onions.
- I mean, cooking for this party has been a disaster.
- Mama, you're burning some [bleep] up in here.
- Savannah!
- Mom, that's you! - Are you kidding me right now?
- Look, you got it all in my oven.
Take it out. - I give you one job.
You know, this is what you get when you
try to get people to help that don't know what they're doing.
- I can't get it. [gasps]
There's blood on me.
- Go. I need y'all to go.
- Oh, my God. - I was just trying to help.
We were just trying to help.
- Oh, my gosh.
* *
- Todd... - We are lost.
- We're not lost.
Might be a little bit further than I
thought it was, but we're not lost.
- Mama, it's gonna be dark soon.
- Well, maybe I have to do it like
we did in the navy; I have to go up by the stars.
- Mama, we have been driving around aimlessly
for hours trying to find these trolls.
- Todd, just relax and enjoy this road trip.
- This wasn't supposed to be a road trip,
it was supposed to be a few hours at the most.
- On a road trip, the journey is the destination.
- There's literally not one bar.
Literally not one bar.
- Them woods right there look like
the woods where I seen Sas-squash at.
- Sas-squash? - Sas-squash.
- I'm not gonna do this.
I'm sitting out here in the middle of the friggin' woods.
- Those trolls are close by, because I smell 'em.
- You don't smell 'em.
You smell the bull[bleep] you're putting out.
- Oh.
[serene music]
- Take a deep inhale, bring in the light.
And on the exhale allow any darkness to fall away.
Thank you so much for the honor of guiding you guys today.
Namaste. all: Namaste.
- Namaste to you. - I mean, that was the best.
This was great.
- We have to go now?
- I know. Can we just stay?
No, it is what I needed, though.
I feel like it would be hard to find a Zen space
if you were with Todd every day.
- Yeah, that--- you said that right.
- [laughs]
- I got some not-so-favorable feedback on the cookbook.
- What?
- You know, I felt good about what I had submitted,
but then to tell me I need to change my classics.
And, you know, I take that personal.
- Well, yeah.
- Because I like 'em, and everybody
that I cook for likes 'em. - And your family loves 'em.
I love them. - Right.
- You can't make everybody happy, ever.
It does not matter.
No matter what you do you're gonna make somebody upset.
So just stick to what you know.
You do it better than anybody, Julie.
- Well, thank you. That's what I'm gonna do.
And I'm--listen, I'm gonna take what she said,
and I'm gonna apply it in certain areas.
- Sure. - But I'm also gonna stay true
to who I am.
- Well, you have to, 'cause you're good at it.
- You know, thank you so much. I know you're busy.
Thanks for coming
and just letting me vent. - Thank you.
I mean, you should see how offended Jay gets
when he comes home and he's just written a song.
He'll play it for me, and he's like, "What do you think?"
And I'm like, "Eh, it's okay."
He's like, "It's okay?
"I worked all day on this.
You don't understand; listen to that line."
- I know. I feel that way about
my macaroni and cheese.
Like, I do. - [laughs]
[upbeat music]
* *
- This is gorgeous, Todd.
[quirky music]
I love this.
- This is just like-- - "Schitt's Creek."
Okay, so this motel is the first sign
of civilization that we've seen in hours.
And, I mean, this--it's a motel.
I guess I have no choice.
I'm gonna have to sleep with my clothes on.
- [gurgles]
- And besides, I don't even have my night cream.
- Don't this remind you of some of the trips
that we used to go on?
- No, Mama. This is a nightmare.
This is not memory lane.
I'm gonna pull this hoodie over my head,
and I'm gonna pretend
like this is not where my life has ended up.
- Maybe if you'd get a good night's sleep
you'll get the stick out of your ass,
and then we'll go find the trolls.
- Mama, give it up with these freaking trolls.
I'm not doing this tomorrow.
I forfeit this.
- What's happened to you, Todd?
I miss that little boy that always running around
clapping and jumping and wanting to go do things.
Now you don't never want to have another adventure.
- Mama, that little boy that was running around clapping,
dreaming of being a Girl Scout doesn't exist anymore.
- Todd, I'm tired of fighting with you.
So if that means we're going home tomorrow, fine,
but you're going to give me my $200.
- Fine. Thank God we're going home tomorrow.
- You just go ahead. Go to sleep and shut up.
* *
[bag rustling]
[crunching]
- Mama, are you eating pork rinds in the bed?
- I do every night.
- [sighs]
[crunching]
[twangy guitar music]
- So I brought you some syrup for your pancakes.
- Okay, well, thank you.
- Hey.
Did you order this for me? - No. Mm-mm.
- You didn't order me any breakfast?
- No.
You can go somewhere else and eat.
- All right, well, since you not gonna let me have
any of this bacon, I'm gonna go ahead and call Julie,
and let her know we're heading home.
So hurry up and finish up.
- Talk to the hand. Bye.
[line trilling]
- Hey, darlin, how are you?
- Oh, I'm good. How are you?
- I literally feel like I'm in an episode
of "Schitt's Creek."
- [laughs]
- And, of course, Mama thinks it was great.
And she's so salty this morning,
because I forfeited last night
and said, "I'll just pay you the $200 so we can come home."
- I know that it's frustrating,
but I think she's just trying to relive these adventures
from, you know, back when you were a little boy,
you know, it takes her back in time.
It makes her just feel like she's reliving that
a little bit.
'Cause, you know, you never know when it's
gonna be your last adventure.
- I mean, I understand what you're saying.
And, I mean, and I will figure out something to fix it.
- Listen, there's no doubt in my mind you'll figure it out.
- You know, I think I was so focused on proving to my mother
that what she was saying wasn't true
that I couldn't see what she was really trying to do,
which was to spend more time with me.
- And tell me why she wants to do that again.
[light classical music]
[chuckling]
- I'm literally gonna get up from here,
and I'm gonna troll hunt the hell out of this area.
- [laughs] Oh, my God.
[regal classical music]
* *
[indistinct chatter]
- Hey, what time's the game start?
- You know I made all this, right?
- Did you really?
- No, but... - No, see, you're such a liar.
- It sounded good, though. Mama, you killed it.
I don't know what that is, but whoo, it is good.
- Well, I am so glad.
But I want to say that I'm sorry for snapping at you guys
the other day. I was under a lot of pressure.
You know, I had that meeting with the publisher,
and she kind of said some things
that made me question myself
and gave me a little bit of anxiety.
It's just been a stressful time.
- I mean, Mom, constructive criticism,
I know it can be hard.
With Sassy, I do get it,
and sometimes I don't agree with it.
So there's times where I'll listen,
do what they say, or I'll go my own path
and do what I feel in my heart is the right thing.
- Right.
Well, listen, I'm gonna take what Amanda said,
and I'm going to come up with some new recipes,
but then I'm also gonna keep my tried-and-true.
So I kind of did a mix of both.
I'm so glad that I decided to stand up for my
classic recipes, because they're part of me.
But, you know, I also learned this week
that I've got to have the confidence to try new things.
- I have been saying that for 25 years in our bedroom.
- I'm talking about food here, Todd.
- We can use food.
- What is that, like, a teriyaki?
- It's good, right?
- It's unreal. - Try that one.
- Damn, like, sweet
but salty at the same time. - Sweet--exactly.
So see, that's a new one.
Maybe it'll end up in the cookbook.
So which one's your favorite? - Probably the hot one.
- Okay. - But I like them both.
- So you like the tried-and-true,
but you also like the new.
- Paige, did you try the wings?
They're good, aren't they? - Oh, my God.
[laughter]
- All right, the game's gonna start. Let's find our seats.
- That's my cue. - Thank you for the food.
Everybody say thank you to Mom.
all: Thank you, Mom.
- You're welcome. Have fun. - I love you.
- Thank you. I'm proud of you.
- Mwah. All right. See y'all.
- Bye. - Thank you, Mom.
- Thank you for the food-gasm.
- [laughs]
[regal classical music]
- Mama, why are you so quiet?
- Everything I wanna do
there's something wrong with it.
- Mama, there's nothing wrong with it.
- You're trying to take me home.
- I'm not taking you home.
- Huh?
- I talked to those people at the motel.
They told me about the trolls.
- What about the trolls?
They told me there's one in the forest here,
like you said.
And I'm gonna take you to see it.
- Really?
- We're not leaving until we find the trolls.
- Mama, honey, I'm sorry that I was a bit
of a wet blanket, but you know how it is
when I have to step outside of my comfort zone.
- This is it, Todd. Pull over.
Well, that's okay, Todd.
I just want to spend some time with you.
- Well, honey, we talk every day
100 times a day.
- Well, that's not like troll hunting.
- I can't argue with that.
- Todd, now, you've got to be careful now,
'cause these trolls are ugly.
And you know what? They smell terrible.
And, you know, if you get them mad, they're mean too.
There she is, Todd.
[angelic choir music]
There she is.
- That's the troll. - That's the troll.
I told you that there's trolls in the woods.
- I guess I can't say you was lying
because there is a troll in the forest.
- Well, I don't lie.
I'm just a creative storyteller.
- Okay. [laughs]
Mama, did you just lure me out here
because you wanted to have another adventure?
- Well, if I would have told you
that's what we were going to do,
you wouldn't have wanted to come.
Making these memories means the world to me.
- Well, if it means the world to you,
then we'll keep doing it.
You know, despite the bumps in the road,
I'm happy for any time that I get to spend with my mother.
I'm quite sure that there's many adventures
in Todd and Faye's future.
- Many.
- And I will go on any journey that you want to go on.
We're gonna take a selfie. - Okay.
Come on.
One, two, three, trolls! - Trolls!
[camera shutter clicking]
- Next time on "Chrisley Knows Best"...
- Come on.
Oh.
- Savannah, you have a baby and I'll help you with it.
- You're supposed to make me feel better about it.
- I want you to have a baby.
- No! - I want you to wait.
- I'm a very nice, considerate, compassionate human being.
- [chuckles]
- Listen, this is an intervention.
- We're just trying to help you be nicer.
- Oh, here we go.