[classical music]
- Who wants a snack?
- I'm good.
- I'm good too.
I got a biscuit
and a cup of coffee.
This damn computer
is dumb as hell.
[laughter]
- What are you doing, honey?
Are you trying
to get into a website?
- Yeah.
- It says you have to select
all the pictures
that have bicycles in them.
- So there...
there...
- And there.
- Mm-hmm and there.
- Try again. Y'all failed it.
- [laughs]
- Oh, those are birds.
- What are y'all looking at?
- Why can't I just click
onto it and get to playing?
- Well, Nanny, it's trying
to make sure you're not a robot
so nobody can spend your money.
- What account have you been
trying to get into?
- This is my slush fund.
I'm going to the casino.
- [laughs]
- Okay, we can do this.
We've got this.
- Okay, a bike.
Okay, there's one.
- Yeah.
- And there's one.
- There you go.
- We're going to get you
into this account.
- Okay, now verify.
- Try again.
- My goodness.
- How many damn people does it
take to find freaking bicycles?
- Well, you had--
- I hate these stupid things.
- To hell with this.
I'm going analog.
You can take and ram this
where the sun don't shine.
[laughter]
[bright classical music]
* *
- Lunch looks delicious,
Mama.
- Thank you.
- Excuse me.
- Well, darling, that's cute,
what you have on.
- Thank you.
- Y'all have on
about the same thing.
- No, we do not.
It's completely different.
- She has a poofy sleeved dress
and I've got on a jumpsuit.
- Well, either way,
you both look cute.
both: Thank you.
- So Mama, how you liking
the new house?
- It has been a great little
move for us.
- It's been a blessing for us.
- Right.
But there's a few things
that need to be done.
- Julie, this is a rental.
Call the landlord.
- I mean, certain things are
the landlord's responsibility,
but then, there's some drapes
that need to go up
in Chloe's room.
Oh, as much as you
like to rock and glide,
there's a glider
that needs to be put together
for the front porch.
- Ju, just put it on the list,
honey, and I'll get it done.
- I mean, I put it
on the list last week.
- Okay, well,
I must've forgotten.
- How is it that you always
manage to forget,
like, repairs to a home,
but you could remember
what your mama wore
to kindergarten graduation?
- I focus on the things that
are important like fashion.
- Gotcha.
I love my husband,
but, you know,
it seems like he's allergic
to anything DIY.
- Well,
at least I'm consistent.
- I don't know why I bother
putting a honey-do-list
together
because at the end of the day,
I'm the one that has to do it.
- Maybe you should call it
a Julie-to-do-list?
- Mm-hmm, you think?
I just wish you'd take a little
more proactive approach
that would just help me out
a little bit.
- Honey, I will help you.
I want to help you.
What about the lightbulb
in the garage?
- Um, I did that.
- A point proven.
[laughs]
* *
- Nanny,
you know I went out to eat
with Savannah last night.
Do you know what this
psychopath does?
- What?
- She will take a chip,
dip in in the salsa,
and then go
into the cheese dip.
- She does what?
- Isn't that nasty?
- Yeah.
[laughter]
Slow down.
We may see a bunch of birds.
- Nanny, birding
is way more fun...
- Slow down. No, it's not.
- When you're going fast.
- Stop, stop.
Right there's a blue bird.
- Let me see those things.
- Let me get my bird,
a blue bird.
1:30.
- What are you doing?
- I got to write it down
so I know
exactly what time I seen it.
- Why?
- Well, we compare them.
So--
- Who is we?
- The bird club.
- Tell me more
about this birding club.
- We have contests
and we have cash prizes.
- I should have known there
was a cash incentive for you.
- [laughs]
I don't even
get up out of bed
in the morning
unless there's
a cash reward waiting for me.
- What is that drawing
supposed to be
'cause that looks like
a dinosaur?
- I'm drawing a blue bird.
- Well, you're no Picasso,
that's for sure.
- If I was I wouldn't be
sitting here
with your dumb ass.
- [laughs]
So what exactly do you
have to do to win a cash prize?
- You show your pictures
to the judges
and then they decide
the winner.
Most people take pictures
but the birds
are too fast for me.
So I just do the drawings.
- Have you ever won?
- Not once.
- Well, Nanny, maybe we can
figure out a better way
for you to spot birds
that's easier on you.
And then maybe I can get
some of the prize money?
- Well that sounds good but no.
- So it's the same
as every other thing.
I'll help you
and I don't get paid.
- Chase, you've got such a good
streak of not getting paid,
why would you want
to break it now?
- [laughs]
* *
- Your kitchen's looking
really good, Mom.
- Yeah.
- It's looking really good
these days.
- So there's a switch
right here
and there's a wire
that connects to that
from the blower motor.
Then you kinda gotta
tighten it up a little bit
and make that connection
good again.
- Okay, what is it? Show me.
- All right, so there's
a terminal here that--
- Yeah.
- That's a little loose.
You see how loose that is?
- Yeah.
Wow.
- [laughs]
Right?
I guess this is one time
that your dad not doing
his responsibilities
is paying off?
- I mean, I'll say.
I'm thinking about breaking
a few more things around here
just so he can fix them.
- All right,
so that's tightened up now.
- Perfect.
- Let me see.
That should've done the trick.
[fan hums]
- Yay!
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- There we go.
- You have been a godsend.
You really have.
I am so happy to get this done.
[sighs]
- Look, the kitchen's fixed.
- Hey, how are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Good.
- This is Nathan.
He's a handyman who I hired,
and he actually comes highly
recommended from the landlord.
- So you're just a handyman
around town?
- Yes, I am.
- I mean, do you,
like, have a
background in construction?
- I grew up
in construction, yes.
- You know what, his dad did it
so he did it growing up.
He's from Canada, and he isn't
afraid to show his emotions.
[laughter]
- What the heck's
going on here, Julie?
I walk in with the two of you
and Captain America,
and Savannah's
just a bumbling mess.
- Listen, I just hired
someone to do
what you wouldn't do
around here.
And she's not bumbling.
I think she's just flirting
a little bit.
- Well, the only good thing
coming out of this situation
is realizing that my daughter
has no idea as to how to flirt.
Well, I mean, I'm actually
surprised he's been able
to get anything done
since y'all
are standing in here
talking all day.
- Oh, no, he's
actually gotten a lot done.
I mean, he's already done
half of Mama's honey-do-list
or whatever it's called.
- Well, Nathan, is there
actually anything you can't do?
- Well, sir, I can kind of fix
anything I put my hands on.
- I have no doubt
about that one.
[classical music]
- Nanny, did you just give me
a dirty cup?
- Well, you know what,
I might've drank out of it.
Got a little lipstick on,
but it's not dirty.
- [laughs]
- What do you think
of your gift, Nanny?
- Oh, I love that.
- All right, look, you put the
seed and the food all in here.
- Yeah.
- And this is a camera
that will take a picture
every time a bird comes to eat.
- Now that takes somebody
with some brains to do that.
- It's actually pretty simple,
but yeah.
See, Nanny,
with this bird feeder
you can be a real competitor
in your bird club.
- Chase, this is perfect.
The next competition ends
this week,
and with this nifty gadget,
I may win the grand prize,
a trip to the Caribbean.
- Do I get to come?
- No.
If I bring a man
with me to the Caribbean,
he won't be my grandson.
Chase, you gonna
have to help me hang it.
- Yeah, Nanny, I figured
I was gonna have to do this.
- Well, now--you think I can?
- I think we put it
like this, Nanny.
- No, uh-uh.
Move it over a little bit.
- Like the whole thing?
- Yeah.
- Nanny.
Right here?
- No.
A little bit to your left,
a little bit.
- And don't get it too close
to the street.
Go on over just a little bit.
Right there.
That is perfect.
- This is exactly
where we started.
- You should
have listened to me
the first time that I told you.
- Yeah I know, Nanny.
I should--that's
what I got to do.
I just got to
keep listening to you.
* *
- I need you
to crack my back, Mama.
- No, I'm not doing that.
- Come on, come on.
- I can't, Savannah.
- Ready?
- I can't, you're too tall.
- You got short arms.
- I do have short arms.
[laughs]
Ready. One, two, three.
[bones crack]
- [laughs]
I cracked yours.
- You did.
[laughs]
- What the hell
are y'all doing?
[laughter]
- Well, I had her
crack my back.
- And then she was
going to try and crack mine.
[laughter]
- Julie, I'm going to
meet Mom and Chase for lunch.
And we'll pick up the parts
that you need
to get that glider built.
- Honey, I've got Nathan
already lined up
to come and do it, so you don't
have to worry about it.
Take that off your list.
- Nathan doesn't need to do it.
I got it.
- I thought you'd be happy
that I got Nathan
to handle my honey-do-list?
- But I'm your honey.
I'm supposed to do it.
I mean, I'm a man.
I'm not useless.
- You're not
completely useful either.
I mean, I'm just saying.
- Mm.
Any task that you have,
I can handle.
- Dad, I don't think you can.
Nathan does a pretty good job.
- I can't cancel him.
I've already paid the deposit.
He's coming.
- You know what,
I don't even care.
Do whatever you want to do,
but I'm going
to lunch with Mama.
- Okay.
- Okay, have fun.
- Yeah.
- Whatever.
- He was like
a jealous high school boy.
What was that?
- Listen, a little competition
never hurt anybody.
[laughs]
- Oh, God help us.
Competition?
Is this part of your
master plan to motivate Daddy?
- Well, maybe.
I mean, let's remember
what happened
when he got jealous
of my badminton instructor.
- Now, I know why your mama
didn't want me to be here.
- Yeah, don't blame her.
I mean, look at him
in that sweater.
He looks so sophisticated.
- Good morning.
I'm making breakfast
for my lovely wife.
- You've never
cooked breakfast.
You know, sometimes I feel bad
for pushing Dad's buttons,
but your dad's noticing,
and I'm actually
getting stuff done with Nathan
around, so it's a win-win.
- [laughs]
* *
- All right, where
we want to go for lunch?
- Todd, I'm not going
to put my opinion in, anyway.
Whatever you want to do,
that's what we do.
- Mama, you literally
are delusional,
but I'm not even going
to argue about it.
- Well then,
let's go have barbeque.
- I just had that.
- [laughs]
- Yeah, that's right. Always.
- So Mama,
how's your week been?
- Honey, it's been great.
My grandson gave me
the nicest gift,
a bird feeder with a camera.
- And that's what
you got excited over?
- Yeah, and I think
that I got a rare bird.
Now, I'm not sure,
but I'm pretty positive
that I've got a picture
of a yellow-bellied warbler.
- Hmm, I don't know
if that's it, Nanny.
I mean, that's blurry.
You can only see the tail.
Are you sure that's
a yellow-bellied warbler?
- Well, I know what it is.
It's rare.
- [laughs]
I'm sure it doesn't matter
if you have a crappy photo.
It's not like you and your
group are damn orthinologists.
- Well, hell,
that's a hard word.
Todd, I'm just worried
that somebody else
might get all the glory,
but if all I got is the tail,
this picture won't cut it.
I need a better picture
to get first prize.
- Mama, honey,
if you're just patient,
it'll probably come back.
- Chase, I don't have time
for this feeder to do its job.
I need a winning photo,
so we need to do
something different.
- But Nanny, I don't feel like
you've given the feeder
a solid chance.
- The competition ends
in a few days.
Less yapping,
more thinking, dummy.
- Nanny, does anybody else
have your back like I do?
- Well, I'm gonna say you A
and the rest of them is B.
[laughter]
* *
- So let's just
try to figure out,
kind of, what all we need.
- This is like a--
an expedition for us.
I'm just confused as to what
we're really doing in here.
- I'm going to get a hinge
for that glider.
- Why are we starting
to do this?
Why are we doing this now?
- Because it's something
that your mama needs
to have done.
- But you haven't done this
my entire life.
- Well, I am now because then
I can get this Nathan guy
out of my hair.
- [chuckles] Nathan.
Savannah told me about Nathan.
- I don't need
to hear any more about Nathan.
- Are you jealous?
- As if I would be jealous
of Nathan?
- I mean, you look upset.
You look frustrated.
It's okay. That's good.
Let it out.
- Okay, I hate Nathan.
Does that make you feel better?
- No, that makes
you feel better.
- I don't need your smart-ass
comments right now.
What I need is
for you to help me.
Your mama just needs to realize
that I'm just as capable
as Nate or Nathan
or numb nuts or
what the hell ever his name is.
- But Dad, you're not, though.
- Just need to find
these hinges.
Is this a bolt hinge?
I mean, is this what I need?
- I don't know.
Whenever I have trouble
with stuff like this,
fixing something, I call Papa.
- I don't need you to call him.
- But I think you do.
- No, I don't.
- Hello.
- Hey, Papa.
- Hey, buddy.
- Dad told me to call you.
Said he wanted to talk to you
really bad.
He needs your help.
- Todd, how can I help?
- Hey, Harv, listen,
I need some help
with getting this
glider put together.
Julie has me doing
all this DIY stuff,
and I don't even know
what I'm looking for.
- I can help you, son.
I can be up there tomorrow.
I got everything we need, son.
- All right, see you, bud.
- Hey, he wants
to have dinner with you.
- Done. Done!
Dinner is done!
[classical music]
- Are you excited?
- I'm really excited
'cause you know
I've got to win this contest.
- Nanny, I'm telling you,
this is gonna do it.
I think this is
one of my best ideas yet.
Do you know what
this is called?
- No.
- It's called a ghillie suit.
- Oh.
- Now, you will blend right in.
No one will even know
that you're there.
- I'm gonna be over there.
I'm gonna get a shot,
and hopefully,
that warbler will be here.
- Okay.
- If it is,
we will get that picture.
- This sounds
like a horrible idea.
- Come here.
Come get in this thing.
All right, you see where
your head goes in?
- Yeah.
- This is so ridiculous.
- All right.
- Do I look like a bush?
- Yes, Nanny,
you look like a bush.
- What if they poop on me?
- I'm so excited
for Operation Bush.
I mean, camouflage Nanny,
cover her in birdseed,
and watch the birds
flock to her.
- I don't know, Chase.
Do you think
this is going to work?
- No, but you know what,
I can't pass up
the opportunity to dress
Nanny up in a ghillie suit.
- That's mean.
- No, Grayson,
it's called
a little friendly payback
for her not taking me
to the Caribbean if she wins.
- Do you even see any birds?
- No, but look at these photos
of Nanny.
[camera clicks]
[laughter]
Oh, no, these people
are walking beside her.
- Shh. Shh.
Go away.
Kid, go away.
I'm trying to catch a bird.
- Oh, my God, these pictures,
even if we don't see a bird,
are priceless.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God, these kids.
- [coughing]
- [laughing]
Look at her.
Nanny.
- What?
This damn thing so hot,
I can't hardly breathe in here.
Ooh, oh.
- I told you not to move.
- Well, I did the best I could.
- Did you get a picture
of the rare bird?
- No, Nanny, not a single bird
has come over here.
- I cannot do this.
I don't think
we gonna get any more,
and I can't stand this.
I'm about to die.
- All right, well, come on.
Let's go.
- I should have worn
a bathing suit.
I got so much damn water
in the crack of my ass.
- [laughs]
- I got to get out of here.
* *
- Julie.
- Yes.
- Where are the Q-tips?
- They should be
in the bathroom.
- Well, there's not any more
in here.
- [sighs]
Oh, my gosh.
I think you'll be good
for one night.
- Julie.
- Yes, Todd.
- You know I cannot go to bed
without my ears being clean.
- I will put it on the list
to make sure
that I get it tomorrow.
I'm capable of putting things
on a list
and getting them done.
I know you wouldn't
relate to that, but...
- What is wrong with you?
Why are you having an attitude?
- Well, my attitude is
because you asked my dad
to come up here
to do your honey-do-list.
I didn't even know
he was coming.
- Julie, I was merely
wanting to include him
in the family stuff
so that he would feel needed.
- Okay, do you really believe
the BS that comes out
of your mouth?
- I am speaking from my heart.
- My dad said that
you and Chase called him
from the hardware store saying
that y'all needed help.
And why you would have my dad
drive six hours here
to do handyman stuff when I've
already hired someone to do it.
That is so stupid.
- Okay, no one gives a [bleep]
about "Magic Mike."
- What is the issue
with Nathan?
- Of course I'm gonna have
concerns when my wife
and my daughter is
fawning over some 30-year-old.
- Okay, well first of all,
I'm not fawning
over somebody period.
- So the washboard abs
you don't find attractive?
- Todd, I've lived
without them this long.
I just wish it didn't take
a fit of jealousy
to get you to help around here.
- Okay, Todd does not
do jealous.
- If Nathan looked more like
my dad and less like John Hamm,
would you be shopping
at the hardware store?
Listen, I'll admit,
I kind of used the situation
to my advantage,
but it did light a fire
under you.
I just want you to step up
to the plate.
So since my dad's still coming,
why don't you just get him
to teach you
how to do a few things?
That way next time,
you don't have to bother him,
and you can do it yourself.
- I can do that, Julie.
I can do that.
- That's all I'm trying to say.
I just need a little help.
- Well, I did take care
of one thing for you.
- What's that, honey?
- I fired Nathan.
So you can take that
off your list.
- Oh, my God.
[laughs]
* *
- Do you want
a tomato sandwich with me?
- Nanny, is it a sandwich
without meat?
- I love a tomato sandwich.
Lord have mercy.
I want you to try half of one.
- What if I don't want half?
- Well, then you can have
a knuckle sandwich.
- [laughs]
- Mama, hello, darling.
- Oh, hey.
Do you want a tomato sandwich?
- Yeah, I'll have one.
- Well, get you a plate
and make it.
- [laughs]
- While you gonna stand there
and eat,
Mom, I want to talk to you
about these photos
that Chase showed me.
- Yeah, Nanny,
I was bragging on you.
- What I didn't expect to get
was a bunch of angry emails
from neighbors saying you were
out here scaring children.
- [laughs]
- They wasn't scared.
- I'm honestly pretty proud
of that shot.
I mean, that's action packed.
- Okay, snitchy bitch,
did you tell your dad
that you was the mastermind
behind it all?
- I wasn't the snitch.
- It doesn't matter.
You and your dumb sidekick here
went too far.
- But you got to admit,
it was pretty funny.
- Mama, I think Chase
is messing with you.
- Chase, have you
been hanging out with him,
being a bitch?
- [laughs]
- Did you dress me up
in that ghillie suit
to help me or just
get a good laugh?
- Well, Nanny, I've got
to get somethings out of
our little adventures
every once and a while
because you've
shown me that you're not
going to share
the winnings with me.
- Now, you know, Chase,
when I die,
I'm gonna leave you
a little something special.
- Really?
- Yeah, and you gonna be
disappointed in that too.
- Nanny, I'm gonna
stop helping you.
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
- It was a bust anyway.
I didn't get no photo,
so I called it a day.
- So you went
through all of that
and just wasted that?
- I just submitted my photo
from the bird feeder
and it turned out,
it was a goldfinch.
It wasn't rare,
but it got me third place.
- Mama, no more ghillie suit.
- Well, I didn't like
that ghillie suit anyway.
It was hot, and that damn thing
made the crack of my ass itch.
[classical music]
- You know, I feel like
painting could be therapeutic.
I could be good at it.
And you know what,
some of these people out here
actually get paid to paint,
and they're terrible.
So if they can
get paid to paint,
I can get paid to paint.
- Savannah, you know
there's no paint on the brush?
[wood clatters]
Harvey, how much longer we got?
Just try to ignore that.
- Well, we got the structure
up now.
All we've got to do
is put the back in.
So go ahead
and start the screw in there.
- Okay.
- All right.
But don't let it go
to your finger.
All right, run it in
about halfway
till you see it come out
the other side.
That's it, that's all.
[drill whirrs]
- I mean, who knew that
Todd Chrisley was a real man?
- Oh, I could tell by your tool
pouch you're a real man, son.
- Think it would be better
if we had this monogrammed.
- Yeah, son,
nothing screams masculine like
your own monogrammed toolbelt.
- It would make it look a lot
better 'cause you could
match it to, like, whatever
color your jeans and stuff are.
- Yup.
- Yeah, that's exactly
what you need.
There you go. Got it.
Look at you go.
[drill whirrs]
Tool man.
Ooh, yeah.
- Mr. Fixer Upper.
- Yes, there you go.
- You just wait.
- Hey, I brought
a little goodies.
- Ooh.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Yeah.
- He's getting it done, Mama.
- I mean, check this out.
- That's it. There you go, yes.
- Honey, I am so happy
that you have taken
my honey-do-list seriously.
And it does my heart good
to know
that I actually
have my own handyman now.
- Honey, I just wanted you
to know that I'm listening.
Julie, honey, I don't want you
to feel overwhelmed.
So I want to help you.
I want to do whatever it is
that you need for me to do.
And if it's something
I can't do,
I'll hire somebody to do it.
- And if you don't stick to it,
at least I know I got Nathan
in my back pocket.
It's sexy seeing you do...
- [groans]
- Physical labor like that.
- Well, I can arrange for us
to do it more often.
- Okay, yeah, no.
We don't need to hear all that.
- How do you think
you got here?
- Immaculate conception.
[laughter]