A MAJOR SHIFT MAY BE ON THE WAY IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH.
LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS ONE. POPE FRANCIS SIGNALING HE'S OPEN
TO ENDING THE VOWS OF CELIBACY FOR ROMAN CATHOLIC PRIESTS.
HAVE YOU SWORN A LIFE TO CELIBACY BUT NOW POPE FRANCIS
SAYS IT'S OKAY TO DATE? INTRODUCING EHOMILY, A DATING
SITE WHERE YOU CAN FIND A HER FOR YOUR HYMN.
WE LOVE ROMANTIC DINNERS. OF COURSE, HE NEVER PAYS.
I TOOK A VOW OF POVERTY. HE DOES HAVE A NICE CAR,
THOUGH. IT TURNS OUT A THOUSAND YEARS
OF TRADITION WAS ONLY A TEMPORARY PRESCRIPTION.
SO NOW, CLERGYMEN, IT'S TIME TO LIVE IT UP.
I LOVE HIM. AND I LOVE HIM.
WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON. I LIKE TO EXERCISE.
AND I LIKE TO EXORCISE. THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU.
BOOP. SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
BECAUSE THIS IS THE CHURCH. THIS IS THE STEEPLE.
AND THIS IS THE WEBSITE TO MEET SINGLE PEOPLE.
Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT... VICE GUYS FINISH LAST.
AND A ST. PATRICK'S DAY MESSAGE FROM LIAM NEESON.
FIRST, STEPHEN WELCOMES... REGE-JEAN PAGE,
SKYLAR ASTIN AND MUSICAL GUEST
JOHN MAYER. FEATURING LOUIS CATO
AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND. AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE
FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY,
IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT. Stephen: OH!
OH. I WASN'T SURE WHAT WAS GOING ON
THERE. HAPPY TUESDAY.
HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY. Audience: [AUDIENCE
CHANTING] Stephen: NICE TO HAVE YOU
IN HERE COME OUT THERE, ALL AROUND THE WORLD.
WELCOME, ONE AT ALL TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. I'VE GOT AN ATTITUDE OF
GRATITUDE RIGHT NOW AND THE PEOPLE THAT I WANT TO THANK OUR
THIS AUDIENCE FOR BEING HERE TONIGHT.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THESE PEOPLE.
AFTER WEATHERING THE AGGRESSIVE FLURRIES OUTSIDE.
YOU'RE THE HEROES, AND I WISH WE THOUGHT AHEAD TO TURN
UP THE HEAT ON IN HERE. OF COURSE, THERE'S BAD WEATHER
ALL OVER. MASSIVE SNOW UP IN NEW ENGLAND.
OUT IN CALIFORNIA, THEY'VE BEEN HIT BY SOMETHING CALLED AN
ATMOSPHERIC RIVER. COINCIDENTALLY, ALSO MY FAVORITE
SCENT FROM PACO RABANNE. THIS RIVER HAS CAUSED TORRENTIAL
RAINS AND DEVASTATING FLOODING LIKE THIS.
WHICH IS YET ANOTHER REASON WHY SOME CALIFORNIA BANKS
ARE UNDERWATER. SOMETHING HAS CLEARLY THROWN OFF
- MIXED REACTION FROM THE AUDI
AUDIENCE. SOMETHING HAS CLEARLY THROWN OFF
THE BALANCE OF OUR PLANET. MAYBE IT'S GLOBAL WARMING.
MAYBE IT'S THE FACT THAT THE FORMER PRESIDENT MADE HIS
FIRST IOWA VISIT FOR THE 2024 CAMPAIGN.
[BOOING] AGGGGHHH!
THIS IS THE MOMENT I'VE BEEN DREADING FOR OVER TWO YEARS.
I SAID I WOULDN'T DO THE IMPRESSION ANYMORE, BUT HIS
CAMPAIGN HAS BEGUN, SO HERE WE GO.
[CLEARS THROAT] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
"MYEH, SEE! I USED TO BE THE PRESIDENT!
MYEH!" PERSON, WOMAN,
MAN, CAMERA, TV, MYEH!"
I'LL WORK ON IT. I LOVE PD BUT T--
I LOVE PT BUT NOT THAT MUCH. THE FORMER PRESIDENT STARTED
TALKING TO THE PRESS BEFORE HIS PLANE EVEN LANDED,
SPECIFICALLY ABOUT HIS FORMER VICE PRESIDENT AND
CHILD'S DRAWING OF A SAD MAN, MIKE PENCE.
OVER THE WEEKEND, AT THE GRIDIRON DINNER, PENCE SAID
HISTORY WILL HOLD THE FORMER PRESIDENT
ACCOUNTABLE FOR JANUARY 6TH.
BUT THE FORMER PRESIDENT FOUND SOMEONE ELSE TO BLAME, TELLING
REPORTERS "HAD PENCE SENT THE VOTES BACK TO THE
LEGISLATURES, THEY WOULDN'T HAVE HAD A PROBLEM WITH JANUARY 6TH,
SO IN MANY WAYS YOU CAN BLAME PENCE FOR JANUARY 6TH."
NO, NO, NO, NO. HE'S RIGHT, IN MANY WAYS
MIKE PENCE IS TO BLAME FOR THE CROWD TRYING TO HANG HIM.
I MEAN, DID YOU SEE WHAT HIS NECK WAS WEARING?
THAT ADAM'S APPLE LEFT NOTHING TO THE IMAGINATION.
THE FORMER PRESIDENT CONTINUED, "HAD HE SENT THE BALLOTS BACK,
I BELIEVE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HAD JANUARY 6TH,
AS WE CALL IT." AS WE CALL IT?
IT'S A DAY! WE'VE ALWAYS CALLED
JANUARY 6 JANUARY 6 'CAUSE THAT'S THE DAY IT IS.
"I'M GONNA GRILL UP SOME HOT DOGS, LIGHT SOME FIREWORKS,
AND CELEBRATE A LITTLE THING I LIKE TO CALL
THE FOURTH OF JULY. TRADEMARK."
HE ALSO WENT AFTER HIS CHIEF 2024 RIVAL, FLORIDA GOVERNOR
RON DeSANTIS, WHOM HE CLAIMED IS IN THE NATIONAL SPOTLIGHT
ONLY BECAUSE OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S 2018
ENDORSEMENT, SAYING, "IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME,
RON DeSANCTIMONIOUS WOULD RIGHT NOW BE WORKING
AT A LAW FIRM OR MAYBE A PIZZA HUT."
OR, IF HE WAS REALLY AMBITIOUS, A COMBINATION
LAW FIRM-PIZZA HUT. YOU KNOW THEIR SLOGAN:
"NO ONE OUT-PIZZAS SCHAFERMAN, LAKIN, AND ASSOCIATES."
"HELLO, I'D LIKE TO ORDER A LARGE MEATLOVERS DIVORCE.
OOH, GARLIC KNOTS." THE FORMER PRESIDENT ALSO
EXPLAINED HIS NEW NICKNAME FOR DeSANTIS, SAYING:
"I USE THE WORD RON DeSANCTIMONIOUS
OR RON DeSANCTUS, IT'S JUST A SHORTER VERSION."
YES, BECAUSE ALL NICKNAMES NEED A NICKNAME.
"THEY CALL ME T-BONE, WHICH IS OF COURSE SHORT
FOR "TYRANNOSAURUS BONE." THE FORMER PRESIDENT IS CLEARLY
LOSING HIS NICKNAME GAME, BECAUSE HE ALREADY HAS A
PERFECT NICKNAME FOR DeSANCTUS THAT HE'S REJECTED.
AND IT'S "MEATBALL RON," WHICH HE SAYS IS "TOO CRUDE."
YEAH, HE SAYS A LOT OF NASTY THINGS, BUT HE DRAWS THE LINE
AT MEATBALLS. THAT IS SACRED GROUND.
BEEF, PORK, VEAL, LAMB. WHEN IT CAME TIME FOR HIS
SPEECH, THE FORMER PRESIDENT BRAGGED ABOUT ALMOST
HAVING DONE SOMETHING. I VIRTUALLY ELIMINATED THE
UNFAIR ESTATE TAX, OR DEATH TAX. IF YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN,
YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR FARM TO YOUR KIDS.
IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR KIDS THAT MUCH OR DON'T LIKE THEM
AT ALL, WHICH HAPPENS ON OCCASION, DON'T LEAVE THEM
A THING. Stephen: "HEY!
DAD'S TALKING ABOUT ME! THANKS FOR THE
SHOUT OUT, DAD! THE ONLY THING I WANT YOU TO
LEAVE ME... IS A HUG."
OR JUST... OR JUST SLIP ME IN THE CASKET
WITH YOU. KINDA DARK, KINDA SAD.
THE EX-PRESIDENT ISN'T THE ONLY ONE OUT THERE
RAISING HIS PROFILE. DeSANTIS WAS ON FOX NEWS
THIS WEEKEND, TALKING TO THE BROWN HAIRED GUY WHO'S NOT
STEVE DOOCY ABOUT WHAT HE LEARNED FROM PLAYING BASEBALL
IN COLLEGE. LOCKER ROOM GETS YOU READY
FOR THE PRESS RIGHT? BECAUSE YOUR TEAMMATES IF THEY
LIKE YOU A LOT, THEY RIP YOU ALL THE TIME.
THE WAY YOU KNOW THAT PEOPLE LIKE YOU IS IF THEY'RE
MAKING FUN OF YOU. Stephen: WELL, THEN,
RON DeSANTIS, I'M ABOUT TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND.
IN FACT, I LIKE YOU SO MUCH, I'M GONNA SAY YOU LOOK LIE
A FRANKENSTEIN STITCHED TOGETHER FROM DEAD
PERSONAL INJURY LAWYERS. NOW YOU MAY BE WONDERING, WHY IS
THAT INTERVIEW OUTSIDE? 'CAUSE RON DeSANTIS
WANTS TO CONNECT WITH EVERY DAY SPORT-LOVING AMERICANS,
SO HE PLAYED CATCH IN A LITERAL SOFTBALL INTERVIEW.
ALTHOUGH YOU'LL NOTICE, THROUGHOUT THE SEGMENT,
THE EDITORS CUT AWAY SO THAT YOU DON'T ACTUALLY SEE
THE BALL BEING THROWN AND CAUGHT IN THE SAME SHOT.
NOW, THAT'S A WEIRD WAY TO SHOW TWO GUYS TOSSING A BALL, BUT I'M
SURE IT WAS A REAL GAME OF CATCH.
THAT'S JUST HOW WE DO IT ON TV. FOR INSTANCE, LOUIS AND I HAVE
A CATCH ALMOST EVERY NIGHT. HEY, LOUIS, CATCH.
Louis: NICE TOSS, STEPHEN. Stephen: THANKS.
GO LONG! YOU'VE GOT THE ARM.
SMOKING THAT PITCH. SPEAKING OF EUROPE, WE GOT NEWS
FROM ROME, BECAUSE THIS WEEK, POPE FRANCIS SUGGESTED HE'LL
REVIEW THE CATHOLIC CHURCH'S VOW OF CELIBACY FOR PRIESTS.
NOW, I DON'T THINK THIS IS THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
I MEAN, THERE ARE NOT A LOT OF SEXY PRIESTS.
OH, MY GOD. OH, FROCK ME.
JUST A MOMENT, I'M BEING TOLD WE FORGOT ONE HOT PRIEST.
FORGIVE ME, FATHER, FOR I HAVE ZADDIED.
THE PONTIFF PONTIFICATED SAYING CELIBACY IN THE WESTERN CHURCH
AS A TEMPORARY PRESCRIPTION I WANT TO POPES IS TEMPORARY, HE
MEANS SINCE THE 11TH CENTURY. FOR THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, 1,000
YEARS IS YESTERDAY. IT'S WHY THEY STILL HAVEN'T
ADOPTED THE CUTTING-EDGE TECHNOLOGY OF PANTS.
FOLKS, FOR THIS STORY, I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY
ON BEHALF OF MYSELF AND THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA,
FOR WOEFULLY FAILING YOU. WHILE WE WERE BUSY TALKING ABOUT
BANK FAILURES AND A LAND WAR IN EUROPE, WE HAVE NOT GIVEN
SUFFICIENT SCRUTINY TO THE STORY THAT WAS BROKEN BY THE
TALLAHASSEE DEMOCRAT OVER TWO WEEKS AGO.
THAT STORY: A LARGE CLAM WAS DISCOVERED IN FLORIDA.
IT'S THE KIND OF STORY YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAY, UNLESS YOU'RE IN
FLORIDA, WHERE THERE ARE A GOOD NUMBER OF LARGE CLAMS.
AS I'M SURE YOU'RE NOW ALL AWARE.
THIS IS NO ORDINARY LARGE CLAM. THIS ONE IS BELIEVED TO BE BORN
IN 1809, THE SAME BIRTH YEAR AS OUR 16TH PRESIDENT,
WHICH IS WHY IT GOT THE NICKNAME
ABRA-CLAM LINCOLN. NOW,
SO FAR IT ALL CHECKS OUT. I JUST HAVE ONE PROBLEM WITH
THIS THIS STORY.
WE'VE ALL SEEN THE SENSATIONALIST REPORTING.
ABRA-CLAM IS "GIANT," "HUGE," "MASSIVE."
THAT SOUNDS LIKE ONE BIG MOTHER-SHUCKER.
BUT I'M ABOUT TO BLOW THE LID OFF THIS CLAM.
BECAUSE WE HAVE NOW LEARNED THAT WHILE MOST OCEAN CLAMS HAVE
"A SHELL LENGTH OF ABOUT 2 TO 4 INCHES LONG",
THIS SO-CALLED BEHEMOTH CLOCKED IN AT A MERE SIX INCHES!
AND DON'T TELL ME IT'S 'CAUSE THE WATER'S COLD.
IT'S FLORIDA! AND IT'S NOT EVEN THE TYPE OF
CLAM WE ALL ORIGINALLY WERE TOLD IT WAS.
TURNS OUT, ABRA-CLAM IS A SOUTHERN QUAHOG, EVEN THOUGH THE
MEDIA FALSELY REPORTED THAT IT'S AN OCEAN QUAHOG,
WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN EXCITING, BECAUSE THOSE ARE NORMALLY FOUND
BETWEEN NEWFOUNDLAND AND NORTH CAROLINA, WHICH MEANS THIS
MOLLUSK FOUND ALONG THE GULF OF MEXICO WAS FAR FROM HOME.
THERE'S YOUR FIRST HINT THAT THIS WAS ONE FISHY MOLLUSK.
THE IDEA THAT CLAMS TRAVEL. THE ONLY PLACE CLAMS ARE GOING
IS ONTO A BED OF LINGUINE. MOST SHOCKING OF ALL, IT SEEMS
THAT "AFTER THE SURGE OF MEDIA COVERAGE OF ABRACLAM, ITS AGE OF
214 YEARS OLD IS QUESTIONABLE," AND THEY NOW THINK THE CLAM
IS BETWEEN 107 AND 214 YEARS OLD, BUT ONE CLAM EXPERT
SUSPECTED THAT IT MIGHT BE EVEN YOUNGER.
I JUST WANT TO SAY THIS. THE ONLY THING MORE
HEARTBREAKING THAN THE LIES WE WERE FED IN THIS STORY IS
GROWING UP TO BE A CLAM EXPERT. "SO...
[APPLAUSE] "SO WHAT DOES YOUR SON DO?"
"UH, HE'S A MARINE BIOLOGIST." "AMAZING.
DOES HE WORK WITH DOLPHINS?" "I'M GONNA SAY YES."
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
MY GUESTS ARE REGE-JEAN PAGE AND STAR OF "SO HELP ME TODD,"
SKYLAR ASTIN. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
A VERY IMPORTANT ST. PATRICK'S DAY MESSAGE FROM LIAM NEESON.
STICK AROUND.
♪ ♪
Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. GIVE IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO AND
"THE LATE SHOW" BAND RIGHT THE THERE.
DANG. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
HAVE A SEAT. LOUIS, TONIGHT IN A LITTLE WHILE
WE'VE GOT FROM "SO HELP ME TODD," NEW SHOW ON CBS, SKYLAR
ASTIN WILL BE HERE, TODD HIMSELF.
TODD IN THE FLESH AND THE FEW MOMENTS RIGHT OVER THERE
REGE-JEAN PAGE FROM THE "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS" MOVIES.
WE KNOW HIM FROM, WHAT'S IT CALLED, BROCKINGTON?
Louis: BRIDGERTON. Stephen: WITHERINGTON?
BRIDGERTON. I USED IT TO COME INTO THE ROOM
AND WATCH EVIE WATCHING IT BUT HE'S GOING TO BE HERE AND
SCIENTISTS HAD RECENTLY THAT SCIENCE SAYS, DUE TO THE GOLDEN
RATIO, HE IS THE MOST HANDSOME MAN IN THE WORLD.
Louis: REALLY? Stephen: THAT IS SCIENCE.
IT'S NOT ME, IT'S SCIENCE. HE WOULD MAKE A VERY SEXY PRI
PRIEST. FOLKS, THIS FRIDAY IS
ST. PATRICK'S DAY AND I AM... I AM SO PROUD OF MY IRISH
HERITAGE. I WEAR IT ON MY SLEEVE.
WHICH IS ALMOST AS PALE AS MY THIN, TRANSLUCENT SKIN.
WE DON'T PRODUCE COLLAGEN. SADLY, FOR SOME REASON,
A HOLIDAY THAT ENDS WITH SCRAPING GREEN VOMIT AND TEETH
OFF YOUR SHOES CAN SOMETIMES CONTRIBUTE TO
HARMFUL STEREOTYPES. BUT THERE IS A CONSTANT
THREAT TO THE DIGNITY OF THE IRISH PEOPLE AND, MORE
IMPORTANTLY, TO THEDIGNITY OF IRISH CELEBRITIES.
THANKFULLY, ONE OF THOSE CELEBRITIES JUST RECORDED
A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT TO ADDRESS IT ONCE AND FOR ALL.
SEAMUS? HI THERE.
I AM DRAMATIC IRISHMAN LIAM NEESON AND I'M HERE TO ADDRESS A
VERY SERIOUS ISSUE AFFECTING MY COUNTRYMEN.
I AM TALKING OF COURSE ABOUT IRISH NAME AWARENESS.
MY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN HAVING THEIR NAMES SLAUGHTERED BY AMERICANS
WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT PROPERLY.
SO PLEASE REMEMBER, IT'S-- DONALD GLEASON.
SINEAD O'CONNOR. KATKENNETH BRANAGH, NOT AS I'VE
HEARD I'VE HEARD MANY OF YOU PRONOUNCE IT KENNETH BRANA-HANA.
THINK OF THE SUFFERING YOU MAY CAUSE MY PEOPLE.
PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW AS... AND EVEN MYSELF,
THIS ST. PATRICK'S DAY I'M
BEGGING YOU PLEASE SAY OUR NAMES CORRECTLY AND DON'T FALL TO LAZY
IRISH SEROTYPES. IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, IT'S TIME
FOR ME LUCKY CHARMS WITH MY SPOON MADE OUT OF, YOU GUESSED
IT, POTATO. Stephen: THANK YOU, LIAM
NEESON. YOU CAN SEE LIAM IN
"MARLOWE," IN THEATERS NOW! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
REGE-JEAN PAGE.
♪ ♪
Stephen: IS THAT JAMES JAMES BOND?
HEY, EVERYBODY. WELCOME BACK.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST IS AN ACTOR
YOU KNOW AS THE BREAKOUT STAR OF SEASON ONE OF "BRIDGERTON."
YOU CAN SEE HIM IN THE NEW MOVIE "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS:
HONOR AMONG THIEVES." PLEASE WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW,
REGE-JEAN PAGE.
♪ ♪
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT. NICE TO SEE YOU.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. Regé-Jean: VERY, VERY
WELCOME. THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
Stephen: MY PLEASURE. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
AS YOU CAN TELL-- Regé-Jean: ARE THESE YOURS?
Stephen: THEY ARE. WE SHIPPED AND SOME WHO DOWELS.
AS YOU CAN TELL FROM THE REACTION FROM THE AUDIENCE EVEN
WHEN I SAID YOUR NAME EARLIER, PEOPLE REMEMBER YOU QUITE FONDLY
FROM SEASON ONE OF BRIDGERTON. MULTIPLE PARTS OF YOU FROM
SEASON ONE. THAT SHE WAS SUCH A PHENOMENON.
IT'S HARD TO SEE SOMETHING LIKE THAT COMING IN YOUR CAREER BUT
WHEN DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR CAREER HAD CHANGED BASED ON
THERE? Regé-Jean: WHEN DID I KNOW
MY CAREER HAD CHANGED? THERE WERE A COUPLE OF MOMENTS.
WHEN WE WERE SHOOTING "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS" WE WERE IN
BELFAST WE WERE IN THE AIRPORT. Stephen: HOW LONG AGO?
Regé-Jean: TWO YEARS AGO. MARGE MAY BE OF 2021.
MARCH MAY BE. I REMEMBER LANDING IN NORTHERN
IRELAND AND I GOT IN THE CAR, THE RIDE FROM THE AIRPORT ON THE
DRIVER TURNED ON THE RADIO AND THEY WERE RUNNING A COMPETITION
TO FIND ME. THEY WERE LIKE REGE-JEAN PAGE IS
IN TOWN. CALL US IF YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS
SO I KIND OF HOLD UP IN THE HOTEL.
IT'S A BIT OF A MIXED BLESSING. YOU ARE LOVELY AND GIVE ME LOTS
OF ATTENTION. LOVELY AND LOTS AND LOTS OF
ATTENTION. Stephen: DID ANYBODY FIND
YOU? Regé-Jean: NO.
ACTUALLY, A COUPLE OF DID. FOLKS ARE VERY, VERY FRIENDLY IN
BELFAST AND FORTHCOMING. THEY JUST KIND OF RAN UP TO ME
AND GRABBED ME, WELCOME TO BELFAST!
THANK YOU SO MUCH. I MOSTLY KEPT QUIET.
HE WAS A VERY WEIRD INVERSION. WHERE SET WOULD BE THE
EXTRAORDINARY PLACE. THAT WOULD BE THE PLACE WHERE
DREAMS HAPPEN. YOU PLAY HOLLYWOOD AND THEN YOU
KNOW HOME AND USE IT IN COFFEE SHOPS IN LIFE IS NORMAL AND THEN
AFTER BRIDGERTON, SET WAS WHERE PEOPLE TREATED YOU NORMALLY.
I JUST WENT TO WORK AND I HAD INTERACTIONS WITH MY WORKMATES
AND THE PUBLIC BECAME THE PERFORMANCE SPACE FROM BEING
WATCHED ALL DAY LONG. IT'S A VERY, VERY ODD FLIP THAT
HAPPENED AND I'M STILL KIND OF LEARNING HOW TO NAVIGATE.
KIND OF WITH GRACE, BECAUSE YOU WANT TO MEET PEOPLE AND YOU WANT
TO SHARE THE JOY YOU GIVE PEOPLE.
THAT'S THE REASON THAT YOU DO THE JOB.
Stephen: AND YOU ARE GRATEFUL THAT THEY LIKE YOUR
WORK. Regé-Jean: OF COURSE.
HUGELY GRATEFUL. LEARNING HOW TO SHARE THAT
ENERGY. YOU TAKE THE EXTRA STEP AND TAKE
A BREATH AND THEN YOU WALK OUT THE FRONT DOOR AND YOU'RE READY
TO MEET FOLKS ENSURE THE THING YOU CREATED TOGETHER.
ONSTAGE, YES, EVERYONE IS PRESENT IN YOUR HAVING THIS
CONVERSATION BUT EVEN ON TV, THERE'S A SHARED ASPECT.
THE REASON BRIDGERTON WAS SUCH A SENSATION AS IT GAVE US COMMUNAL
ESCAPISM WHEN WE WERE KIND OF TRAPPED IN OUR OWN LITTLE
BUBBLES AND THAT WAS SPECIAL. TREATED WITH CARE AND GRATITUDE.
Stephen: A LOT OF SURPRISING THINGS WHEN YOU
BECOME FAMOUS. IN JANUARY, PLASTIC SURGEON IN
THE U.K. DECLARE THAT YOU ARE THE MOST HANDSOME MAN IN THE
WORLD, GIVEN YOUR FACE-- LEGALLY I HAVE TO ASK.
GIVEN YOUR FACE'S ALIGNMENT WITH SOMETHING CALLED THE GREEK
GOLDEN RATIO, WAS THAT NEWS FOR YOU?
OR YOU ARE LIKE, ABOUT DAMN TIME SOMEONE NOTICED.
Regé-Jean: IT WAS NEWS TO ME.
IT'S NOT THE CONVERSATION I HAD WITH MYSELF IN THE MIRROR EVERY
MORNING. THAT GUY !
IT WAS AN AMBUSH HEADLINE. YOU DO A SHOW WHEN YOU RIDE THE
PRESS CYCLE. PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE LOOKING
OUT FOR YOU MORE. YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A MOVIE.
BRIDGERTON HAD JUST COME OUT. I HAD WRITTEN THIS THING I WAS
AT HOME FEELING RELAXED, IN A LULL AND THEN I AMBUSH HEADLINE.
I HAD NO IDEA THAT I WAS APPARENTLY SCIENTIFICALLY
HANDSOME. Stephen: YOU CAME SO CLOSE
TO GIVING PEOPLE A CLIP THEY COULD PLAY LATER.
ANY ACTORS AND ACTRESSES THAT YOU WERE WITH YOU FIND
DISTRACTINGLY ATTRACTIVE AND DON'T WORRY.
IF YOU DON'T NAME CHRIS PINE, HE WON'T BE UPSET.
HE IS A GOOD LOOKING GUY. Regé-Jean: CHRIS PINE IS
STUNNING AND SMELLS DELICIOUS. Stephen: HERE'S WHAT PEOPLE
DON'T KNOW AT HOME. YOU SMELL FANTASTIC.
Regé-Jean: ARMANI CODE. Stephen: MY GOODNESS.
Regé-Jean: YOUR VERY KIND TO SAY SO.
YOU SMELL VERY GOOD YOURSELF. Stephen: THANK YOU, IT'S
DECAF COFFEE. Regé-Jean: IT'S THE
DECAPITATION THAT DOES IT. PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT
BRIDGERTON, WE HAD HORRENDOUS COFFEE BREATH.
YOUR APPROACH THE OTHER AFTERNOON AGO HEY, SCENES AFTER
LUNCH, WHAT ARE THE RULES? NO ONIONS, NO GARLIC?
DO I HAVE TO GET THE COFFEE IN EARLY AND WE ARE BOTH LIKE,
ACTUALLY I REALLY LIKE COFFEE SO I DON'T MIND.
THANK GOD. WE HAD A COFFEE SAFE SPACE ALL
THE WAY THROUGH THAT SHOW. Stephen: I'VE GOT ANOTHER
QUESTION AND THAT IS ABOUT "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG
THIEVES." I WANT TO GET
"DUNGEONS & DRAGONS" IN A MOMENT IN THE MOVIE BECAUSE I'M A HUGE
D&D FAN. THIS IS A HEADLINE, IT'S A QUOTE
FROM YOU SO YOU HAVE TO ANSWER FOR THIS.
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY. REGE-JEAN PAGE SAYS HE HAD THE
BEST ASS OF MY LIFE MAKING "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS."
YOU ARE ALREADY ADMIRED FOR YOUR POSTERIOR AND YOUR GENEROSITY OF
SHARING WITH US IN BRIDGERTON. BUT WHY DID IT GET BETTER?
WHY DID YOU IMPROVE? WHY DID YOU GILD THE LILY, SHALL
WE SAY QUESTION ON HOW TO GET BETTER AND TO PROMOTE
"DUNGEONS & DRAGONS"." I'M ONLY QUOTING YOU.
Regé-Jean: WHY DID I GILD THAT LILY?
SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE, SQUATS. Stephen: WHY WAS THERE SO
MUCH SQUATTING? Regé-Jean: THERE WAS A LOT
OF SWORD FIGHTING AND ON TOP OF THAT IT WAS SWORD FIGHTING IN
TONS OF ARMOR. VERY HEAVY.
SO IMPRACTICAL, SO HEAVY. SWORD FIGHTING AND SQUATS.
CRAB WALKING. Stephen: DEEP PLIES.
Regé-Jean: LOTS. Stephen: YOUR ASS WAS JUST
BUMPING UP A LITTLE BIT HOW LONG SINCE YOU RAPPED ON
""DUNGEONS & DRAGONS"? Regé-Jean: MARCH, APRIL,
MAY 2021. Stephen: ALMOST TWO YEARS,
HAVE YOU CHECKED IN ON YOUR ASS. HOW'S IT GOING?
Regé-Jean: WE DON'T HAVE DEEP AND MEANINGFUL
CONVERSATIONS ON THE REGULAR. Stepen: DO YOU CHECK ON IT
JUST TO MAKE SURE. Regé-Jean: ASK THE COUCH
AFTER I'M GONE. STILL WE HAVE EXPERTS HERE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK
BUT WILL BE BACK WITH MORE RUSH A JEAN PAGE, EVERYBODY.
DON'T GO AWAY
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. WE ARE BACK WITH THE STAR OF
"DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES," REGE-JEAN PAGE.
WHO DO YOU PLAN WHAT HAPPENS? IS IT A QUEST WITH THE PARTY OF
PEOPLE LIKE A MAGIC USER AND FIGHTER AND CLERIC AND THIEF?
Regé-Jean: YES. NO ONE RESPECTS HEALERS SO WE
HAVE NO HEALERS. Stephen: THERE IS NO CLEAR?
Regé-Jean: NO. WE HAVE A RELATIVELY BALANCED
PARTY. PALADIN, BARBARIAN, VERY HORNY
BARD, SORCERER ANAEROBIC. AND A ROGUE.
I AM THE PALADIN. PAINFULLY RIGHTEOUS, INCREDIBLY
STOIC, THOROUGHLY CHARMING RIDICULOUSLY HEROIC MAN IN
SHINING ARMOR AND THE CAPE WHICH IS REALLY, REALLY FUN BECAUSE
YOU GET TO BE THE STRAIGHT MAN TO WHOM EVERYONE ELSE BOUNCES
OFF AND THEY HAVE DONE THIS IN A VERSION WHERE I WOULD BE THE
HERO AND ANY OTHER MOVIE. JONATHAN GOLDSTEIN TALKS ABOUT,
LIKE THIS CHARACTER WANDERED IN FROM ANOTHER LOT.
A SERIOUS FANCY MOVIE AND THEN BLUNDERS UPON THESE IDIOTS
MAKING THE "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES" MOVIE AND
SPENDS THE MOVIE VERY CONFUSED. THERE SOMETHING COOL ABOUT THE
GUY WHO SHOULD BE THE HERO, HE DOESN'T GET TO ENJOY ANY OF THE
FUN BECAUSE HE'S TAKING IT ALL SO SERIOUSLY.
Stephen: LAWFUL GOOD. WE HAVE A CLIP.
Regé-Jean: YOU HAVE THE CLIP WHERE WE ARE--
IT'S A VERY D&D JOKE BUT IT'S ALSO VERY FUNNY.
THERE IS A VERY SPECIFIC SET OF RULES THAT YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW IN
ORDER TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM. IT ILLUSTRATES WHAT I WAS
TALKING ABOUT HERE. MORE THAN ONE SOLUTION OF THE
PROBLEM. Stephen: GYM.
SPEAK THE BRIDGE IS PROTECTED BN ANCIENT TRAP.
THERE IS THE PRECISE FORMULA WE MUST FOLLOW.
WHAT IS THE FORMULA. IT'S QUITE SIMPLE.
ODD-NUMBERED BLOCKS ONLY MOVING FORWARD WITH EACH STEP EXCEPT
FOR EVERY FIFTH STEP WHICH MUST BE A LATERAL MOVE.
LEFT OR RIGHT, IT MATTERS NOT. AT THE MIDPOINT WE SWITCHED
EVEN-NUMBERED BLOCKS, SAME PATTERN EXCEPT THE FOURTH STEP.
[RUMBLING] I MAY HAVE TRIGGERED THE
MECHANISM. SO, SORRY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: I'LL BE THERE.
LOVELY TO MEET YOU. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE,
REGE-JEAN."DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: G THIEVES" OPENS IN THEATERS ON
MARCH 31. REGE-JEAN PAGE EVERYBODY.
WILL BE BACK WITH THE STAR OF "SO HELP ME TODD," SKYLAR ASTIN.
Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
HELLO, EVERYBODY. WELCOME BACK.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW MY NEXT GAS FROM THE
PITCH-PERFECT MOVIES AND "SO HELP ME TODD."
PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," SKYLAR ASTIN.
♪ ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Skylar: WARM WELCOME. Stephen: NICE TO HAVE YOU,
NICE TO GO CONGRATULATIONS ON "SO HELP ME TODD," THAT'S A BIG
HIT. YOU'RE BEING PICKED UP FOR
ANOTHER SEASON. I WANT THEM TO PICK YOU UP FOR
ANOTHER SEASON BECAUSE I LOOKED AT THE MINUTE-BY-MINUTE'S.
IF YOU HAVE AN ORIGINAL SHOW ON A THURSDAY NIGHT, OUR RATINGS
ARE BETTER. Skylar: WE'VE GOT YOUR
BACK. Stephen: THERE ARE WEEKS
WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE ORIGINAL SHOWS AND I AM HERE TO SAY, GET
BACK TO WORK, SKYLAR. Skylar: I'M SORRY.
MY PARENTS AGREE WITH YOU. MY PARENTS ARE ALWAYS UPSET
WHENEVER THEY ARE LIKE, WHAT'S GOING ON?
IT'S A RERUN? Stephen: PEOPLE OF GOD TO
SLEEP SOMETIMES PEOPLE HAVE GOT TO SLEEP SOMETIMES.
YOU'RE KNOWN FOR "PITCH PERFECT. YOU'VE DONE A BUNCH OF OTHER
STUFF, DO YOU STILL GET STOPPED ON THE STREET FOR PITCH-PERFECT?
Skylar: I DO. IT'S SOMETHING THAT REALLY
STRUCK A CHORD WITH PEOPLE. Stephen: WHAT DO THEY DO?
Skylar: I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THEY DID THAT.
THEY STOP ME. THEY WANT ME TO DO THE ICONIC
LINES FROM IT AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
IF YOU LIKE I'M ALSO JUST RECOGNIZABLE AND OF THE PEOPLE
THINK THEY KNOW ME PERSONALLY. THEY WANT TO RELATE TO ME IN
SOME SORT OF WAY. THEY ARE LIKE, HEY, DID WE SPEND
TIME IN FLORIDA TOGETHER? AND I ALWAYS LIKE, THE--
Stephen: TO SOME PEOPLE YOU LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF GUY THAT I
SPENT SOME TIME IN FLORIDA WITH AND WE WERE TO [BLEEP]
TO REMEMBER IT. Skylar: THAT'S EXACTLY
RIGHT AND I HAVE TO GO ALONG WITH IT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO
NAME DROP MY CELL. I'M THE GUY FROM PITCH-PERFECT.
THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM. I'M LIKE, DELRAY BEACH.
THINKING MORE TALLAHASSEE AND I'M IN THIS AWKWARD CONVER
CONVERSATION. Stephen: DO THEY SAY, LET
ME GET YOU A DRINK? Skylar: I'VE BEEN TO
SEVERAL FAMILY REUNIONS BECAUSE OF IT.
YOU GET DEEP ENOUGH, THERE'S NO TURNING BACK.
SPILL LET ME ASK UNIPART QUESTION.
WHEN DID YOU FIRST KNOW THAT YOU WERE.
Skylar: MAYBE IT'S RIGHT NOW, HONESTLY.
I'VE NEVER GOTTEN SO MANY APPLAUSE BREAKS.
THE GROWING SUCCESS OF THE MOVIE AND I WAS PREPPED FOR BECAUSE I
DIDN'T START OUT ON BROADWAY'S I'VE HAD SOME FAME IN A BUBBLE.
AND THEN I RIDE THE SUBWAY HOME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
THEY HAVE THE PLAYBILL. Stephen: NOTHING LIKE A
BROADWAY THEATER. LUCKY TO DO THIS SHOW IN A
BROADWAY THEATER. WHAT IS THAT YOU LOVE MOST?
HOW GLAMOROUS THE BACKSTAGE'S? Skylar: PEOPLE DON'T
REALIZE ABOUT BROADWAY SHOWS, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND THE SECOND
THAT YOU STEP INTO THE WINGS IT'S LIKE A BUILDING FROM THE
1800s SUBSTANTIVELY CRAWLING WITH MOLD.
BUT THAT'S ALSO THE CHARM. Stephen: THE RATS ARE
UNIONIZED. Skylar: WE SUPPORT THE
LOCAL RAT UNIONS. Stephen: HOW DID YOU
DISCOVER MUSICAL THEATER? Skylar: I AUDITIONED FOR
LOCAL PRODUCTION IN MY COMMUNITY OF "GODSPELL."
Stephen: WE ARE REALLY JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR.
"DAY BY DAY" IS FINE. Skylar: IT'S A LITTLE SOFT.
JESUS IS A BIT OF A ROCK STAR. Stephen: AS HE WAS.
Skylar: KIND OF A BIG DEAL. Skylar: YOU DON'T GET THOSE
ABS FROM FOLK MUSIC. Skylar: THERE IS NO
MANDOLIN IN HIS WORKOUT ROUTINE. Stephen: LET'S MOVE ON.
YOU ARE STARRING IN THE CPS DRAMA, HIT DRAMA "SO HELP ME
TODD." WHO IS TODD AND WHO IS HE SO
HELPING. Skylar: HE'S A PRIVATE
INVESTIGATOR STRIPPED OF HIS LICENSE FOR HIS ILLEGAL ACTIVITY
AND ASKED TO GO TO WORK FOR HIS HIGH-POWERED ATTORNEY MOTHER
PLAYED BY THE INCREDIBLE MARCIA GAY HARDEN.
OR AS I LIKE TO CALL HER, MAR-GAY-HAR.
I REALLY DO. I CAN'T BELIEVE I GET AWAY WITH
IT EVERY DAY. WE ARE MOTHER AND SON AND WE
NAVIGATE OUR FRACTURED RELATIONSHIP AND NAVIGATES
HOLDING CASES TOGETHER SO THERE'S A LOT OF BICKERING,
MISPRONUNCIATIONS OF APPS AND THE THINGS YOU DO WITH YOUR
MOTHER AND YOUR SON. Stephen: HERE'S A BETTER
PICTURE. DO YOU THINK?
DO YOU THINK YOU TWO COULD WORK TOGETHER?
Skylar: WE COULD. WE OBVIOUSLY LOVE EACH OTHER.
TRAVELING WOULD BE DIFFICULT. MY MOM IS VERY PARTICULAR ABOUT
HER DIET AND HER PACKING AND OVER PACKING AND SHE IS AN
CANTALOUPES BECAUSE SHE PICKS THEM AT THE MARKET AND IS
VERY-- WE LITERALLY WENT TO FRANCE ONCE
WITH A WHOLE SUITCASE OF CUT UP CANTALOUPE.
Stephen: YOU CAN'T BRING FRUITS OR VEGETABLES INTO
FRANCE. Skylar: I AM AWARE.
Stephen: YOU MIGHT AS WELL STRAP HEROIN AROUND YOUR WAIST.
Skylar: SPEAKING OF THAT. IT ACTUALLY DOES ESCALATE.
SHE TRAVELS WITH THIS NONDAIRY CREAMER AND FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T
KNOW, NONDAIRY CREAMER IS A WHITE POWDER THAT SHE ALWAYS
CARRIES AROUND IN THIS LITTLE TUPPERWARE THING.
SHE'S ALWAYS, SHE'S A HUGE FLIGHT RISK SHE'S ALWAYS STOPPED
BY TSA. WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE?
ALWAYS PULLED INTO A BACK ROOM AND MY DAD AND I HAVE TO BE
LIKE, SHE'S NOT A DRUG LORD. SHE'S JUST PARTICULAR ABOUT HER
CREAMER. THAT WOULD BE THE ONLY RISK IN
WORKING WITH HER BECAUSE IT WOULD TAKE SOME TIME.
Stephen: WHY CANTALOUPE? THAT IS A TRASH FRUIT.
IT'S ONLY PUT ON THE FACE TO FILL OUT THE TABLE.
Skylar: IT IS FILLER. I AM GRAPES, STRAWBERRIES,
BLUEBERRIES KIND OF GUY. ANY MELON, I AGREE IT'S FILLER.
Stephen: THIS IS WHY YOU'RE A STAR.
SKYLAR. "SO HELP ME TODD" AIRS THURSDAY
NIGHTS AT 9:00 P.M. ON CBS. SKYLAR ASTIN, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
Stephen: HIS SOLO ACOUSTIC TOUR KICKED OFF
LAST WEEKEND. PERFORMING "WAITIN' ON THE DAY,"
JOHN MAYER.
♪ ♪ ♪ WAITING ON THE DAY ♪
♪ WHEN MY THOUGHTS ♪ ♪ ARE MY OWN ♪
♪ WHEN THIS HOUSE IS MY HOME ♪ ♪ AND PLANS ARE MADE ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'LL BE THERE ♪ ♪ FOR ME, BABE ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'LL LOVE ME ♪ ♪ ALL OF THE WAY ♪
♪ WHEN YOU TAKE MY SIDE ♪ ♪ IN EVERY LITTLE FIREFIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU HANG ♪ ♪ YOUR THINGS AND STAY ♪
♪ I'M WAITING ON THE DAY ♪ ♪ WHEN MY LIFE ON THE RUN ♪
♪ BLEACHES OUT IN THE SUN ♪ ♪ AND SHOWS MY AGE ♪
♪ I'M WAITING ON THE DAY ♪ ♪ WHEN THAT VOICE ♪
♪ COMES TO SAY ♪ ♪ THAT IT'S NOT WRONG ♪
♪ WHAT YOU DID FOR JUST A KID ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU'LL BE THERE FOR ME
BABE ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU'LL LOVE ME ♪
♪ ALL OF THE WAY ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU TAKE MY SIDE ♪
♪ IN EVERY LITTLE FIREFIGHT ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU HANG ♪
♪ YOUR THINGS AND STAY ♪ ♪ WELL, I'M WAITING ON THE DAY ♪
WHEN YOU FINALLY GO MY WAY I'M WAITING ON THE DAY ♪
WHEN YOU FINALLY GO MY WAY MAYBE I'M CRAZY FOR WAITING ON YOU
STILL BUT I THINK YOU SOMEDAY WILL.
♪ WAITING ON THE DAY ♪
WHEN THE KIDS ARE ALL GROWN AND WE GO DANCING ♪
♪ CAN YOU DO IT, BABE ♪ ♪ CAN YOU LOVE ME ALL OF THE WA
WAY ♪ ♪ TIE ME TIGHT AND LITTLE
STRANDS PARADISE ♪ ♪ WILL YOU WALK WITH ME BEFORE
THE MORNING PHASE ♪ ♪ I'LL BE WAITING ON THE DAY
♪ LA DA LE DA DE LA ♪ ♪ LA DA LE DA DE LA ♪
[APPLAUSE] Stephen: THANK YOU, JOHN.
JOHN MAYER, EVERYBODY. THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW."
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ ♪