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00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:04,204
A MAJOR SHIFT MAY BE ON THE
WAY IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH.

2
00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:07,006
LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS ONE.
POPE FRANCIS SIGNALING HE'S OPEN

3
00:00:07,006 --> 00:00:13,413
TO ENDING THE VOWS OF CELIBACY
FOR ROMAN CATHOLIC PRIESTS.

4
00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:16,449
HAVE YOU SWORN A LIFE TO
CELIBACY BUT NOW POPE FRANCIS

5
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:20,720
SAYS IT'S OKAY TO DATE?
INTRODUCING EHOMILY, A DATING

6
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,823
SITE WHERE YOU CAN FIND A HER
FOR YOUR HYMN.

7
00:00:23,823 --> 00:00:28,161
WE LOVE ROMANTIC DINNERS.
OF COURSE, HE NEVER PAYS.

8
00:00:28,161 --> 00:00:29,562
I TOOK A VOW OF POVERTY.
HE DOES HAVE A NICE CAR,

9
00:00:29,562 --> 00:00:32,832
THOUGH.
IT TURNS OUT A THOUSAND YEARS

10
00:00:32,832 --> 00:00:36,836
OF TRADITION WAS ONLY
A TEMPORARY PRESCRIPTION.

11
00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:39,706
SO NOW, CLERGYMEN, IT'S TIME
TO LIVE IT UP.

12
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,142
I LOVE HIM.
AND I LOVE HIM.

13
00:00:42,142 --> 00:00:45,245
WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON.
I LIKE TO EXERCISE.

14
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:49,516
AND I LIKE TO EXORCISE.
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU.

15
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,985
BOOP.
SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

16
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,954
BECAUSE THIS IS THE CHURCH.
THIS IS THE STEEPLE.

17
00:00:54,954 --> 00:00:58,024
AND THIS IS THE WEBSITE TO MEET
SINGLE PEOPLE.

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00:00:58,024 --> 00:01:01,060
Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE
SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."

19
00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:07,434
TONIGHT...
VICE GUYS FINISH LAST.

20
00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:13,006
AND A ST. PATRICK'S DAY
MESSAGE FROM LIAM NEESON.

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00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:17,710
FIRST, STEPHEN WELCOMES...
REGE-JEAN PAGE,

22
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:22,348
SKYLAR ASTIN
AND MUSICAL GUEST

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JOHN MAYER.
FEATURING LOUIS CATO

24
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AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE

25
00:01:32,091 --> 00:01:34,160
FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER
IN NEW YORK CITY,

26
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:47,173
IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT.
Stephen: OH!

27
00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:50,009
OH.
I WASN'T SURE WHAT WAS GOING ON

28
00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:54,848
THERE.
HAPPY TUESDAY.

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00:01:54,848 --> 00:02:02,355
HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY.
Audience: [AUDIENCE

30
00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:04,190
CHANTING]
Stephen: NICE TO HAVE YOU

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00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:08,895
IN HERE COME OUT THERE, ALL
AROUND THE WORLD.

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00:02:08,895 --> 00:02:10,029
WELCOME, ONE AT ALL TO
"THE LATE SHOW."

33
00:02:10,029 --> 00:02:18,438
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
I'VE GOT AN ATTITUDE OF

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00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:19,873
GRATITUDE RIGHT NOW AND THE
PEOPLE THAT I WANT TO THANK OUR

35
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:24,244
THIS AUDIENCE FOR BEING HERE TONIGHT.

36
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:29,215
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THESE PEOPLE.

37
00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:33,686
AFTER WEATHERING THE AGGRESSIVE
FLURRIES OUTSIDE.

38
00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:37,290
YOU'RE THE HEROES, AND I
WISH WE THOUGHT AHEAD TO TURN

39
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:40,226
UP THE HEAT ON IN HERE.
OF COURSE, THERE'S BAD WEATHER

40
00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:41,661
ALL OVER.
MASSIVE SNOW UP IN NEW ENGLAND.

41
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:45,698
OUT IN CALIFORNIA, THEY'VE BEEN
HIT BY SOMETHING CALLED AN

42
00:02:45,698 --> 00:02:49,135
ATMOSPHERIC RIVER.
COINCIDENTALLY, ALSO MY FAVORITE

43
00:02:49,135 --> 00:02:53,907
SCENT FROM PACO RABANNE.
THIS RIVER HAS CAUSED TORRENTIAL

44
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:56,242
RAINS AND DEVASTATING FLOODING
LIKE THIS.

45
00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:58,478
WHICH IS YET ANOTHER REASON WHY
SOME CALIFORNIA BANKS

46
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:09,989
ARE UNDERWATER.
SOMETHING HAS CLEARLY THROWN OFF

47
00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:13,059
-
MIXED REACTION FROM THE AUDI

48
00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,327
AUDIENCE.
SOMETHING HAS CLEARLY THROWN OFF

49
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:15,461
THE BALANCE OF OUR PLANET.
MAYBE IT'S GLOBAL WARMING.

50
00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:19,666
MAYBE IT'S THE FACT THAT
THE FORMER PRESIDENT MADE HIS

51
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:24,971
FIRST IOWA VISIT
FOR THE 2024 CAMPAIGN.

52
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:27,907
[BOOING]
AGGGGHHH!

53
00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:29,742
THIS IS THE MOMENT I'VE BEEN
DREADING FOR OVER TWO YEARS.

54
00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:33,379
I SAID I WOULDN'T DO THE
IMPRESSION ANYMORE, BUT HIS

55
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:37,850
CAMPAIGN HAS BEGUN, SO HERE WE GO.

56
00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:40,920
[CLEARS THROAT]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

57
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:44,791
"MYEH, SEE!
I USED TO BE THE PRESIDENT!

58
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:47,226
MYEH!"
PERSON, WOMAN,

59
00:03:47,226 --> 00:03:49,862
MAN, CAMERA, TV,
MYEH!"

60
00:03:49,862 --> 00:04:00,807
I'LL WORK ON IT.
I LOVE PD BUT T--

61
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,342
I LOVE PT BUT NOT THAT MUCH.
THE FORMER PRESIDENT STARTED

62
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:03,543
TALKING TO THE PRESS
BEFORE HIS PLANE EVEN LANDED,

63
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:06,980
SPECIFICALLY ABOUT
HIS FORMER VICE PRESIDENT AND

64
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:10,617
CHILD'S DRAWING OF A SAD MAN,
MIKE PENCE.

65
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:14,754
OVER THE WEEKEND, AT THE
GRIDIRON DINNER, PENCE SAID

66
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,089
HISTORY WILL
HOLD THE FORMER PRESIDENT

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00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,626
ACCOUNTABLE FOR
JANUARY 6TH.

68
00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:20,994
BUT THE FORMER PRESIDENT FOUND
SOMEONE ELSE TO BLAME, TELLING

69
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:23,696
REPORTERS "HAD PENCE SENT
THE VOTES BACK TO THE

70
00:04:23,696 --> 00:04:29,035
LEGISLATURES, THEY WOULDN'T HAVE
HAD A PROBLEM WITH JANUARY 6TH,

71
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:33,506
SO IN MANY WAYS YOU CAN BLAME
PENCE FOR JANUARY 6TH."

72
00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:36,376
NO, NO, NO, NO.
HE'S RIGHT, IN MANY WAYS

73
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:42,148
MIKE PENCE IS TO BLAME FOR THE
CROWD TRYING TO HANG HIM.

74
00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:43,950
I MEAN, DID YOU SEE WHAT HIS
NECK WAS WEARING?

75
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:47,987
THAT ADAM'S APPLE LEFT NOTHING
TO THE IMAGINATION.

76
00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:50,356
THE FORMER PRESIDENT CONTINUED,
"HAD HE SENT THE BALLOTS BACK,

77
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:52,859
I BELIEVE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HAD
JANUARY 6TH,

78
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:57,430
AS WE CALL IT."
AS WE CALL IT?

79
00:04:57,430 --> 00:05:01,968
IT'S A DAY!
WE'VE ALWAYS CALLED

80
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:07,340
JANUARY 6 JANUARY 6 'CAUSE
THAT'S THE DAY IT IS.

81
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:08,908
"I'M GONNA GRILL UP SOME HOT
DOGS, LIGHT SOME FIREWORKS,

82
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:10,009
AND CELEBRATE A LITTLE THING
I LIKE TO CALL

83
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:17,650
THE FOURTH OF JULY.
TRADEMARK."

84
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,819
HE ALSO WENT AFTER HIS CHIEF
2024 RIVAL, FLORIDA GOVERNOR

85
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:24,357
RON DeSANTIS, WHOM HE CLAIMED
IS IN THE NATIONAL SPOTLIGHT

86
00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:27,593
ONLY BECAUSE OF THE FORMER
PRESIDENT'S 2018

87
00:05:27,593 --> 00:05:29,762
ENDORSEMENT, SAYING,
"IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME,

88
00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:33,900
RON DeSANCTIMONIOUS
WOULD RIGHT NOW BE WORKING

89
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,802
AT A LAW FIRM
OR MAYBE A PIZZA HUT."

90
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:37,970
OR, IF HE WAS REALLY AMBITIOUS,
A COMBINATION

91
00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:49,716
LAW FIRM-PIZZA HUT.
YOU KNOW THEIR SLOGAN:

92
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:52,985
"NO ONE OUT-PIZZAS SCHAFERMAN,
LAKIN, AND ASSOCIATES."

93
00:05:52,985 --> 00:05:58,091
"HELLO, I'D LIKE TO ORDER
A LARGE MEATLOVERS DIVORCE.

94
00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:03,996
OOH, GARLIC KNOTS."
THE FORMER PRESIDENT ALSO

95
00:06:03,996 --> 00:06:06,365
EXPLAINED HIS NEW NICKNAME
FOR DeSANTIS, SAYING:

96
00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:08,000
"I USE THE WORD RON DeSANCTIMONIOUS

97
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:12,772
OR RON DeSANCTUS,
IT'S JUST A SHORTER VERSION."

98
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:17,343
YES, BECAUSE ALL NICKNAMES
NEED A NICKNAME.

99
00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:21,447
"THEY CALL ME T-BONE,
WHICH IS OF COURSE SHORT

100
00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:25,651
FOR "TYRANNOSAURUS BONE."
THE FORMER PRESIDENT IS CLEARLY

101
00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:29,822
LOSING HIS NICKNAME GAME,
BECAUSE HE ALREADY HAS A

102
00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:33,926
PERFECT NICKNAME FOR DeSANCTUS
THAT HE'S REJECTED.

103
00:06:33,926 --> 00:06:41,801
AND IT'S "MEATBALL RON,"
WHICH HE SAYS IS "TOO CRUDE."

104
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:43,369
YEAH, HE SAYS A LOT OF NASTY
THINGS, BUT HE DRAWS THE LINE

105
00:06:43,369 --> 00:06:47,006
AT MEATBALLS.
THAT IS SACRED GROUND.

106
00:06:47,006 --> 00:06:51,844
BEEF, PORK, VEAL, LAMB.
WHEN IT CAME TIME FOR HIS

107
00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:54,680
SPEECH, THE FORMER
PRESIDENT BRAGGED ABOUT ALMOST

108
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,883
HAVING DONE SOMETHING.
I VIRTUALLY ELIMINATED THE

109
00:06:56,883 --> 00:07:00,019
UNFAIR ESTATE TAX, OR DEATH TAX.
IF YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN,

110
00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:02,722
YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR
FARM TO YOUR KIDS.

111
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:06,793
IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR KIDS
THAT MUCH OR DON'T LIKE THEM

112
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:08,795
AT ALL, WHICH HAPPENS ON
OCCASION, DON'T LEAVE THEM

113
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:10,062
A THING.
Stephen: "HEY!

114
00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:16,402
DAD'S TALKING ABOUT ME!
THANKS FOR THE

115
00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:20,173
SHOUT OUT, DAD!
THE ONLY THING I WANT YOU TO

116
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:30,416
LEAVE ME...
IS A HUG."

117
00:07:30,416 --> 00:07:34,487
OR JUST...
OR JUST SLIP ME IN THE CASKET

118
00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:46,299
WITH YOU.
KINDA DARK, KINDA SAD.

119
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,767
THE EX-PRESIDENT ISN'T THE ONLY
ONE OUT THERE

120
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:51,704
RAISING HIS PROFILE.
DeSANTIS WAS ON FOX NEWS

121
00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:53,539
THIS WEEKEND, TALKING TO THE
BROWN HAIRED GUY WHO'S NOT

122
00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:55,942
STEVE DOOCY ABOUT WHAT HE
LEARNED FROM PLAYING BASEBALL

123
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:58,578
IN COLLEGE.
LOCKER ROOM GETS YOU READY

124
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:02,181
FOR THE PRESS RIGHT?
BECAUSE YOUR TEAMMATES IF THEY

125
00:08:02,181 --> 00:08:03,616
LIKE YOU A LOT, THEY RIP YOU
ALL THE TIME.

126
00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:05,852
THE WAY YOU KNOW THAT PEOPLE
LIKE YOU IS IF THEY'RE

127
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:08,221
MAKING FUN OF YOU.
Stephen: WELL, THEN,

128
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:22,335
RON DeSANTIS, I'M ABOUT TO BE
YOUR BEST FRIEND.

129
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,370
IN FACT, I LIKE YOU SO MUCH,
I'M GONNA SAY YOU LOOK LIE

130
00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:26,272
A FRANKENSTEIN STITCHED TOGETHER
FROM DEAD

131
00:08:26,272 --> 00:08:32,111
PERSONAL INJURY LAWYERS.
NOW YOU MAY BE WONDERING, WHY IS

132
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:35,181
THAT INTERVIEW OUTSIDE?
'CAUSE RON DeSANTIS

133
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,184
WANTS TO CONNECT WITH EVERY DAY
SPORT-LOVING AMERICANS,

134
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:43,089
SO HE PLAYED CATCH IN A LITERAL
SOFTBALL INTERVIEW.

135
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:45,892
ALTHOUGH YOU'LL NOTICE,
THROUGHOUT THE SEGMENT,

136
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:48,227
THE EDITORS CUT AWAY
SO THAT YOU DON'T ACTUALLY SEE

137
00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:52,832
THE BALL BEING THROWN AND
CAUGHT IN THE SAME SHOT.

138
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:54,267
NOW, THAT'S A WEIRD WAY TO SHOW
TWO GUYS TOSSING A BALL, BUT I'M

139
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:58,404
SURE IT WAS A REAL GAME
OF CATCH.

140
00:08:58,404 --> 00:09:02,141
THAT'S JUST HOW WE DO IT ON TV.
FOR INSTANCE, LOUIS AND I HAVE

141
00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:07,580
A CATCH ALMOST EVERY NIGHT.
HEY, LOUIS, CATCH.

142
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:13,519
Louis: NICE TOSS, STEPHEN.
Stephen: THANKS.

143
00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:25,998
GO LONG!
YOU'VE GOT THE ARM.

144
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:29,335
SMOKING THAT PITCH.
SPEAKING OF EUROPE, WE GOT NEWS

145
00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:35,675
FROM ROME, BECAUSE THIS WEEK,
POPE FRANCIS SUGGESTED HE'LL

146
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:38,611
REVIEW THE CATHOLIC CHURCH'S VOW
OF CELIBACY FOR PRIESTS.

147
00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:40,947
NOW, I DON'T THINK THIS IS THAT
BIG OF A DEAL.

148
00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:43,249
I MEAN, THERE ARE NOT A LOT OF
SEXY PRIESTS.

149
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:50,756
OH, MY GOD.
OH, FROCK ME.

150
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:55,661
JUST A MOMENT, I'M BEING TOLD WE
FORGOT ONE HOT PRIEST.

151
00:09:55,661 --> 00:10:05,871
FORGIVE ME, FATHER,
FOR I HAVE ZADDIED.

152
00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:08,407
THE PONTIFF PONTIFICATED SAYING
CELIBACY IN THE WESTERN CHURCH

153
00:10:08,407 --> 00:10:11,944
AS A TEMPORARY PRESCRIPTION I
WANT TO POPES IS TEMPORARY, HE

154
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:17,750
MEANS SINCE THE 11TH CENTURY.
FOR THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, 1,000

155
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,885
YEARS IS YESTERDAY.
IT'S WHY THEY STILL HAVEN'T

156
00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:24,090
ADOPTED THE CUTTING-EDGE
TECHNOLOGY OF PANTS.

157
00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:26,225
FOLKS, FOR THIS STORY,
I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY

158
00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:30,296
ON BEHALF OF MYSELF
AND THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA,

159
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:33,799
FOR WOEFULLY FAILING YOU.
WHILE WE WERE BUSY TALKING ABOUT

160
00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:35,701
BANK FAILURES AND A LAND WAR
IN EUROPE, WE HAVE NOT GIVEN

161
00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:39,472
SUFFICIENT SCRUTINY TO THE STORY
THAT WAS BROKEN BY THE

162
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,907
TALLAHASSEE DEMOCRAT OVER TWO
WEEKS AGO.

163
00:10:41,907 --> 00:10:44,477
THAT STORY: A LARGE CLAM WAS
DISCOVERED IN FLORIDA.

164
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,846
IT'S THE KIND OF STORY YOU DON'T
SEE EVERY DAY, UNLESS YOU'RE IN

165
00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:52,385
FLORIDA, WHERE THERE ARE
A GOOD NUMBER OF LARGE CLAMS.

166
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,320
AS I'M SURE YOU'RE NOW ALL AWARE.

167
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:58,824
THIS IS NO ORDINARY LARGE CLAM.
THIS ONE IS BELIEVED TO BE BORN

168
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:04,997
IN 1809, THE SAME BIRTH
YEAR AS OUR 16TH PRESIDENT,

169
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,632
WHICH IS WHY IT
GOT THE NICKNAME

170
00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:12,071
ABRA-CLAM LINCOLN. NOW,

171
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:18,711
SO FAR IT ALL CHECKS OUT.
I JUST HAVE ONE PROBLEM WITH

172
00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:19,678
THIS
THIS STORY.

173
00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:21,080
WE'VE ALL SEEN
THE SENSATIONALIST REPORTING.

174
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:24,784
ABRA-CLAM IS "GIANT,"
"HUGE," "MASSIVE."

175
00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:28,421
THAT SOUNDS LIKE ONE BIG
MOTHER-SHUCKER.

176
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:32,291
BUT I'M ABOUT TO BLOW THE LID
OFF THIS CLAM.

177
00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:35,294
BECAUSE WE HAVE NOW LEARNED THAT
WHILE MOST OCEAN CLAMS HAVE

178
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:37,897
"A SHELL LENGTH OF ABOUT
2 TO 4 INCHES LONG",

179
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:43,102
THIS SO-CALLED BEHEMOTH CLOCKED
IN AT A MERE SIX INCHES!

180
00:11:43,102 --> 00:11:44,870
AND DON'T TELL ME IT'S 'CAUSE
THE WATER'S COLD.

181
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:49,275
IT'S FLORIDA!
AND IT'S NOT EVEN THE TYPE OF

182
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:52,445
CLAM WE ALL ORIGINALLY WERE TOLD
IT WAS.

183
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:54,980
TURNS OUT, ABRA-CLAM IS A
SOUTHERN QUAHOG, EVEN THOUGH THE

184
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:58,484
MEDIA FALSELY REPORTED THAT IT'S
AN OCEAN QUAHOG,

185
00:11:58,484 --> 00:12:00,252
WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN EXCITING,
BECAUSE THOSE ARE NORMALLY FOUND

186
00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:03,122
BETWEEN NEWFOUNDLAND AND NORTH
CAROLINA, WHICH MEANS THIS

187
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:06,759
MOLLUSK FOUND ALONG THE GULF OF
MEXICO WAS FAR FROM HOME.

188
00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:10,996
THERE'S YOUR FIRST HINT THAT
THIS WAS ONE FISHY MOLLUSK.

189
00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:17,937
THE IDEA THAT CLAMS TRAVEL.
THE ONLY PLACE CLAMS ARE GOING

190
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:20,873
IS ONTO A BED OF LINGUINE.
MOST SHOCKING OF ALL, IT SEEMS

191
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:25,211
THAT "AFTER THE SURGE OF MEDIA
COVERAGE OF ABRACLAM, ITS AGE OF

192
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:32,451
214 YEARS OLD IS QUESTIONABLE,"
AND THEY NOW THINK THE CLAM

193
00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:38,624
IS BETWEEN 107 AND 214
YEARS OLD, BUT ONE CLAM EXPERT

194
00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:41,494
SUSPECTED THAT IT MIGHT
BE EVEN YOUNGER.

195
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:43,395
I JUST WANT TO SAY THIS.
THE ONLY THING MORE

196
00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:47,566
HEARTBREAKING THAN THE LIES WE
WERE FED IN THIS STORY IS

197
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GROWING UP TO BE A CLAM EXPERT.
"SO...

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00:12:56,609 --> 00:13:01,280
[APPLAUSE]
"SO WHAT DOES YOUR SON DO?"

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00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,115
"UH, HE'S A MARINE BIOLOGIST."
"AMAZING.

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00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:07,219
DOES HE WORK WITH DOLPHINS?"
"I'M GONNA SAY YES."

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00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:11,023
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW
FOR YOU TONIGHT.

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00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:16,428
MY GUESTS ARE REGE-JEAN PAGE
AND STAR OF "SO HELP ME TODD,"

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00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:18,797
SKYLAR ASTIN.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,

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00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:24,837
A VERY IMPORTANT ST. PATRICK'S
DAY MESSAGE FROM LIAM NEESON.

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00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:26,906
STICK AROUND.

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00:13:49,728 --> 00:13:58,237
♪ ♪

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00:13:58,237 --> 00:14:02,775
Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
GIVE IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO AND

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00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:07,580
"THE LATE SHOW" BAND RIGHT THE THERE.

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00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:15,454
DANG.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE

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00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:20,526
HAVE A SEAT.
LOUIS, TONIGHT IN A LITTLE WHILE

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00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:26,298
WE'VE GOT FROM "SO HELP ME
TODD," NEW SHOW ON CBS, SKYLAR

212
00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:29,835
ASTIN WILL BE HERE, TODD HIMSELF.

213
00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:34,373
TODD IN THE FLESH AND THE FEW
MOMENTS RIGHT OVER THERE

214
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,041
REGE-JEAN PAGE FROM THE
"DUNGEONS & DRAGONS" MOVIES.

215
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:40,746
WE KNOW HIM FROM, WHAT'S IT
CALLED, BROCKINGTON?

216
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:43,382
Louis: BRIDGERTON.
Stephen: WITHERINGTON?

217
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:50,089
BRIDGERTON.
I USED IT TO COME INTO THE ROOM

218
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:53,025
AND WATCH EVIE WATCHING IT BUT
HE'S GOING TO BE HERE AND

219
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:58,831
SCIENTISTS HAD RECENTLY THAT
SCIENCE SAYS, DUE TO THE GOLDEN

220
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:01,667
RATIO, HE IS THE MOST HANDSOME
MAN IN THE WORLD.

221
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:04,637
Louis: REALLY?
Stephen: THAT IS SCIENCE.

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00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:09,241
IT'S NOT ME, IT'S SCIENCE.
HE WOULD MAKE A VERY SEXY PRI

223
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:12,911
PRIEST.
FOLKS, THIS FRIDAY IS

224
00:15:12,911 --> 00:15:20,319
ST. PATRICK'S DAY AND I AM...
I AM SO PROUD OF MY IRISH

225
00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:22,321
HERITAGE.
I WEAR IT ON MY SLEEVE.

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00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:23,455
WHICH IS ALMOST AS PALE
AS MY THIN, TRANSLUCENT SKIN.

227
00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:29,061
WE DON'T PRODUCE COLLAGEN.
SADLY, FOR SOME REASON,

228
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:30,429
A HOLIDAY THAT ENDS WITH
SCRAPING GREEN VOMIT AND TEETH

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00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:31,964
OFF YOUR SHOES CAN SOMETIMES
CONTRIBUTE TO

230
00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:35,701
HARMFUL STEREOTYPES.
BUT THERE IS A CONSTANT

231
00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:39,238
THREAT TO THE DIGNITY OF THE
IRISH PEOPLE AND, MORE

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00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:41,106
IMPORTANTLY, TO THEDIGNITY OF
IRISH CELEBRITIES.

233
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:44,610
THANKFULLY, ONE OF THOSE
CELEBRITIES JUST RECORDED

234
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,545
A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
TO ADDRESS IT ONCE AND FOR ALL.

235
00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:51,884
SEAMUS?
HI THERE.

236
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:55,354
I AM DRAMATIC IRISHMAN LIAM
NEESON AND I'M HERE TO ADDRESS A

237
00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:59,091
VERY SERIOUS ISSUE AFFECTING MY COUNTRYMEN.

238
00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:02,828
I AM TALKING OF COURSE ABOUT
IRISH NAME AWARENESS.

239
00:16:02,828 --> 00:16:05,698
MY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN HAVING THEIR
NAMES SLAUGHTERED BY AMERICANS

240
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:08,801
WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE
IT PROPERLY.

241
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:19,278
SO PLEASE REMEMBER, IT'S--
DONALD GLEASON.

242
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:36,995
SINEAD O'CONNOR.
KATKENNETH BRANAGH, NOT AS I'VE

243
00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:45,871
HEARD I'VE HEARD MANY OF YOU
PRONOUNCE IT KENNETH BRANA-HANA.

244
00:16:45,871 --> 00:16:48,674
THINK OF THE SUFFERING YOU MAY
CAUSE MY PEOPLE.

245
00:16:48,674 --> 00:17:09,061
PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW AS...
AND EVEN MYSELF,

246
00:17:09,061 --> 00:17:10,996
THIS ST. PATRICK'S DAY I'M

247
00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:15,634
BEGGING YOU PLEASE SAY OUR NAMES
CORRECTLY AND DON'T FALL TO LAZY

248
00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:18,904
IRISH SEROTYPES.
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, IT'S TIME

249
00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:24,777
FOR ME LUCKY CHARMS WITH MY
SPOON MADE OUT OF, YOU GUESSED

250
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:33,886
IT, POTATO.
Stephen: THANK YOU, LIAM

251
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,388
NEESON.
YOU CAN SEE LIAM IN

252
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:37,856
"MARLOWE," IN THEATERS NOW!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH

253
00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:42,161
REGE-JEAN PAGE.

254
00:17:53,038 --> 00:18:02,915
♪ ♪

255
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:09,788
Stephen: IS THAT JAMES
JAMES BOND?

256
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:11,256
HEY, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME BACK.

257
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:16,428
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MY FIRST GUEST IS AN ACTOR

258
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:19,598
YOU KNOW AS THE BREAKOUT STAR
OF SEASON ONE OF "BRIDGERTON."

259
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:22,267
YOU CAN SEE HIM IN THE NEW
MOVIE "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS:

260
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,770
HONOR AMONG THIEVES."
PLEASE WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW,

261
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:33,145
REGE-JEAN PAGE.

262
00:18:33,145 --> 00:18:48,961
♪ ♪

263
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:53,198
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.
NICE TO SEE YOU.

264
00:18:53,198 --> 00:18:57,469
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
Regé-Jean: VERY, VERY

265
00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:58,604
WELCOME.
THANKS FOR HAVING ME.

266
00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:03,509
Stephen: MY PLEASURE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

267
00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:04,643
AS YOU CAN TELL--
Regé-Jean: ARE THESE YOURS?

268
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,778
Stephen: THEY ARE.
WE SHIPPED AND SOME WHO DOWELS.

269
00:19:06,778 --> 00:19:11,083
AS YOU CAN TELL FROM THE
REACTION FROM THE AUDIENCE EVEN

270
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:17,322
WHEN I SAID YOUR NAME EARLIER,
PEOPLE REMEMBER YOU QUITE FONDLY

271
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:25,898
FROM SEASON ONE OF BRIDGERTON.
MULTIPLE PARTS OF YOU FROM

272
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:27,733
SEASON ONE.
THAT SHE WAS SUCH A PHENOMENON.

273
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:32,070
IT'S HARD TO SEE SOMETHING LIKE
THAT COMING IN YOUR CAREER BUT

274
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:35,507
WHEN DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR
CAREER HAD CHANGED BASED ON

275
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,342
THERE?
Regé-Jean: WHEN DID I KNOW

276
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:40,679
MY CAREER HAD CHANGED?
THERE WERE A COUPLE OF MOMENTS.

277
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:43,181
WHEN WE WERE SHOOTING
"DUNGEONS & DRAGONS" WE WERE IN

278
00:19:43,181 --> 00:19:47,019
BELFAST WE WERE IN THE AIRPORT.
Stephen: HOW LONG AGO?

279
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:54,159
Regé-Jean: TWO YEARS AGO.
MARGE MAY BE OF 2021.

280
00:19:54,159 --> 00:19:55,761
MARCH MAY BE.
I REMEMBER LANDING IN NORTHERN

281
00:19:55,761 --> 00:20:00,632
IRELAND AND I GOT IN THE CAR,
THE RIDE FROM THE AIRPORT ON THE

282
00:20:00,632 --> 00:20:02,601
DRIVER TURNED ON THE RADIO AND
THEY WERE RUNNING A COMPETITION

283
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:05,203
TO FIND ME.
THEY WERE LIKE REGE-JEAN PAGE IS

284
00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:07,005
IN TOWN.
CALL US IF YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS

285
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:11,810
SO I KIND OF HOLD UP IN THE HOTEL.

286
00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:17,215
IT'S A BIT OF A MIXED BLESSING.
YOU ARE LOVELY AND GIVE ME LOTS

287
00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:20,719
OF ATTENTION.
LOVELY AND LOTS AND LOTS OF

288
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:22,421
ATTENTION.
Stephen: DID ANYBODY FIND

289
00:20:22,421 --> 00:20:24,356
YOU?
Regé-Jean: NO.

290
00:20:24,356 --> 00:20:30,529
ACTUALLY, A COUPLE OF DID.
FOLKS ARE VERY, VERY FRIENDLY IN

291
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:34,566
BELFAST AND FORTHCOMING.
THEY JUST KIND OF RAN UP TO ME

292
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:36,234
AND GRABBED ME, WELCOME TO
BELFAST!

293
00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:39,972
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I MOSTLY KEPT QUIET.

294
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:45,243
HE WAS A VERY WEIRD INVERSION.
WHERE SET WOULD BE THE

295
00:20:45,243 --> 00:20:49,648
EXTRAORDINARY PLACE.
THAT WOULD BE THE PLACE WHERE

296
00:20:49,648 --> 00:20:52,918
DREAMS HAPPEN.
YOU PLAY HOLLYWOOD AND THEN YOU

297
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:56,188
KNOW HOME AND USE IT IN COFFEE
SHOPS IN LIFE IS NORMAL AND THEN

298
00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:58,156
AFTER BRIDGERTON, SET WAS WHERE
PEOPLE TREATED YOU NORMALLY.

299
00:20:58,156 --> 00:21:02,094
I JUST WENT TO WORK AND I HAD
INTERACTIONS WITH MY WORKMATES

300
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:05,263
AND THE PUBLIC BECAME THE
PERFORMANCE SPACE FROM BEING

301
00:21:05,263 --> 00:21:09,267
WATCHED ALL DAY LONG.
IT'S A VERY, VERY ODD FLIP THAT

302
00:21:09,267 --> 00:21:12,004
HAPPENED AND I'M STILL KIND OF
LEARNING HOW TO NAVIGATE.

303
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,439
KIND OF WITH GRACE, BECAUSE YOU
WANT TO MEET PEOPLE AND YOU WANT

304
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:16,541
TO SHARE THE JOY YOU GIVE PEOPLE.

305
00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:18,043
THAT'S THE REASON THAT YOU DO
THE JOB.

306
00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:20,178
Stephen: AND YOU ARE
GRATEFUL THAT THEY LIKE YOUR

307
00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:21,313
WORK.
Regé-Jean: OF COURSE.

308
00:21:21,313 --> 00:21:24,282
HUGELY GRATEFUL.
LEARNING HOW TO SHARE THAT

309
00:21:24,282 --> 00:21:26,752
ENERGY.
YOU TAKE THE EXTRA STEP AND TAKE

310
00:21:26,752 --> 00:21:30,822
A BREATH AND THEN YOU WALK OUT
THE FRONT DOOR AND YOU'RE READY

311
00:21:30,822 --> 00:21:35,627
TO MEET FOLKS ENSURE THE THING
YOU CREATED TOGETHER.

312
00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:37,696
ONSTAGE, YES, EVERYONE IS
PRESENT IN YOUR HAVING THIS

313
00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:40,098
CONVERSATION BUT EVEN ON TV,
THERE'S A SHARED ASPECT.

314
00:21:40,098 --> 00:21:47,773
THE REASON BRIDGERTON WAS SUCH A
SENSATION AS IT GAVE US COMMUNAL

315
00:21:47,773 --> 00:21:49,841
ESCAPISM WHEN WE WERE KIND OF
TRAPPED IN OUR OWN LITTLE

316
00:21:49,841 --> 00:21:55,881
BUBBLES AND THAT WAS SPECIAL.
TREATED WITH CARE AND GRATITUDE.

317
00:21:55,881 --> 00:21:58,016
Stephen: A LOT OF
SURPRISING THINGS WHEN YOU

318
00:21:58,016 --> 00:22:00,986
BECOME FAMOUS.
IN JANUARY, PLASTIC SURGEON IN

319
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:05,157
THE U.K. DECLARE THAT YOU ARE
THE MOST HANDSOME MAN IN THE

320
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:10,429
WORLD, GIVEN YOUR FACE--
LEGALLY I HAVE TO ASK.

321
00:22:10,429 --> 00:22:13,632
GIVEN YOUR FACE'S ALIGNMENT WITH
SOMETHING CALLED THE GREEK

322
00:22:13,632 --> 00:22:16,134
GOLDEN RATIO, WAS THAT NEWS FOR
YOU?

323
00:22:16,134 --> 00:22:19,638
OR YOU ARE LIKE, ABOUT DAMN TIME
SOMEONE NOTICED.

324
00:22:19,638 --> 00:22:21,139
Regé-Jean: IT WAS NEWS TO ME.

325
00:22:21,139 --> 00:22:24,576
IT'S NOT THE CONVERSATION I HAD
WITH MYSELF IN THE MIRROR EVERY

326
00:22:24,576 --> 00:22:27,479
MORNING.
THAT GUY !

327
00:22:27,479 --> 00:22:30,582
IT WAS AN AMBUSH HEADLINE.
YOU DO A SHOW WHEN YOU RIDE THE

328
00:22:30,582 --> 00:22:34,953
PRESS CYCLE.
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE LOOKING

329
00:22:34,953 --> 00:22:38,557
OUT FOR YOU MORE.
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A MOVIE.

330
00:22:38,557 --> 00:22:41,793
BRIDGERTON HAD JUST COME OUT.
I HAD WRITTEN THIS THING I WAS

331
00:22:41,793 --> 00:22:50,135
AT HOME FEELING RELAXED, IN A
LULL AND THEN I AMBUSH HEADLINE.

332
00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:54,439
I HAD NO IDEA THAT I WAS
APPARENTLY SCIENTIFICALLY

333
00:22:54,439 --> 00:22:58,810
HANDSOME.
Stephen: YOU CAME SO CLOSE

334
00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:04,216
TO GIVING PEOPLE A CLIP THEY
COULD PLAY LATER.

335
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:06,551
ANY ACTORS AND ACTRESSES THAT
YOU WERE WITH YOU FIND

336
00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:08,720
DISTRACTINGLY ATTRACTIVE AND
DON'T WORRY.

337
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,857
IF YOU DON'T NAME CHRIS PINE, HE
WON'T BE UPSET.

338
00:23:11,857 --> 00:23:15,694
HE IS A GOOD LOOKING GUY.
Regé-Jean: CHRIS PINE IS

339
00:23:15,694 --> 00:23:19,598
STUNNING AND SMELLS DELICIOUS.
Stephen: HERE'S WHAT PEOPLE

340
00:23:19,598 --> 00:23:24,636
DON'T KNOW AT HOME.
YOU SMELL FANTASTIC.

341
00:23:24,636 --> 00:23:30,575
Regé-Jean: ARMANI CODE.
Stephen: MY GOODNESS.

342
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:33,945
Regé-Jean: YOUR VERY KIND
TO SAY SO.

343
00:23:33,945 --> 00:23:37,415
YOU SMELL VERY GOOD YOURSELF.
Stephen: THANK YOU, IT'S

344
00:23:37,415 --> 00:23:39,317
DECAF COFFEE.
Regé-Jean: IT'S THE

345
00:23:39,317 --> 00:23:42,354
DECAPITATION THAT DOES IT.
PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT

346
00:23:42,354 --> 00:23:45,123
BRIDGERTON, WE HAD HORRENDOUS
COFFEE BREATH.

347
00:23:45,123 --> 00:23:48,760
YOUR APPROACH THE OTHER
AFTERNOON AGO HEY, SCENES AFTER

348
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,830
LUNCH, WHAT ARE THE RULES?
NO ONIONS, NO GARLIC?

349
00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:55,200
DO I HAVE TO GET THE COFFEE IN
EARLY AND WE ARE BOTH LIKE,

350
00:23:55,200 --> 00:24:00,806
ACTUALLY I REALLY LIKE COFFEE SO
I DON'T MIND.

351
00:24:00,806 --> 00:24:02,407
THANK GOD.
WE HAD A COFFEE SAFE SPACE ALL

352
00:24:02,407 --> 00:24:06,778
THE WAY THROUGH THAT SHOW.
Stephen: I'VE GOT ANOTHER

353
00:24:06,778 --> 00:24:12,083
QUESTION AND THAT IS ABOUT
"DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG

354
00:24:12,083 --> 00:24:13,351
THIEVES."
I WANT TO GET

355
00:24:13,351 --> 00:24:15,787
"DUNGEONS & DRAGONS" IN A MOMENT
IN THE MOVIE BECAUSE I'M A HUGE

356
00:24:15,787 --> 00:24:18,890
D&D FAN.
THIS IS A HEADLINE, IT'S A QUOTE

357
00:24:18,890 --> 00:24:22,761
FROM YOU SO YOU HAVE TO ANSWER
FOR THIS.

358
00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:23,962
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY.
REGE-JEAN PAGE SAYS HE HAD THE

359
00:24:23,962 --> 00:24:32,604
BEST ASS OF MY LIFE MAKING
"DUNGEONS & DRAGONS."

360
00:24:32,604 --> 00:24:35,440
YOU ARE ALREADY ADMIRED FOR YOUR
POSTERIOR AND YOUR GENEROSITY OF

361
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:39,945
SHARING WITH US IN BRIDGERTON.
BUT WHY DID IT GET BETTER?

362
00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:45,917
WHY DID YOU IMPROVE?
WHY DID YOU GILD THE LILY, SHALL

363
00:24:45,917 --> 00:24:49,521
WE SAY QUESTION ON HOW TO GET
BETTER AND TO PROMOTE

364
00:24:49,521 --> 00:24:51,590
"DUNGEONS & DRAGONS"."
I'M ONLY QUOTING YOU.

365
00:24:51,590 --> 00:24:56,127
Regé-Jean: WHY DID I GILD
THAT LILY?

366
00:24:56,127 --> 00:24:59,664
SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE, SQUATS.
Stephen: WHY WAS THERE SO

367
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:02,100
MUCH SQUATTING?
Regé-Jean: THERE WAS A LOT

368
00:25:02,100 --> 00:25:06,438
OF SWORD FIGHTING AND ON TOP OF
THAT IT WAS SWORD FIGHTING IN

369
00:25:06,438 --> 00:25:09,708
TONS OF ARMOR.
VERY HEAVY.

370
00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:16,781
SO IMPRACTICAL, SO HEAVY.
SWORD FIGHTING AND SQUATS.

371
00:25:16,781 --> 00:25:22,420
CRAB WALKING.
Stephen: DEEP PLIES.

372
00:25:22,420 --> 00:25:28,693
Regé-Jean: LOTS.
Stephen: YOUR ASS WAS JUST

373
00:25:28,693 --> 00:25:32,864
BUMPING UP A LITTLE BIT HOW LONG
SINCE YOU RAPPED ON

374
00:25:32,864 --> 00:25:35,600
""DUNGEONS & DRAGONS"?
Regé-Jean: MARCH, APRIL,

375
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:40,972
MAY 2021.
Stephen: ALMOST TWO YEARS,

376
00:25:40,972 --> 00:25:43,675
HAVE YOU CHECKED IN ON YOUR ASS.
HOW'S IT GOING?

377
00:25:43,675 --> 00:25:45,777
Regé-Jean: WE DON'T HAVE
DEEP AND MEANINGFUL

378
00:25:45,777 --> 00:25:47,545
CONVERSATIONS ON THE REGULAR.
Stepen: DO YOU CHECK ON IT

379
00:25:47,545 --> 00:25:51,883
JUST TO MAKE SURE.
Regé-Jean: ASK THE COUCH

380
00:25:51,883 --> 00:25:54,486
AFTER I'M GONE.
STILL WE HAVE EXPERTS HERE.

381
00:25:54,486 --> 00:26:01,960
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK

382
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:05,864
BUT WILL BE BACK WITH MORE RUSH
A JEAN PAGE, EVERYBODY.

383
00:26:05,864 --> 00:26:08,066
DON'T GO AWAY

384
00:26:14,673 --> 00:26:19,210
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

385
00:26:19,210 --> 00:26:21,947
Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WE ARE BACK WITH THE STAR OF

386
00:26:21,947 --> 00:26:25,183
"DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG
THIEVES," REGE-JEAN PAGE.

387
00:26:25,183 --> 00:26:29,587
WHO DO YOU PLAN WHAT HAPPENS?
IS IT A QUEST WITH THE PARTY OF

388
00:26:29,587 --> 00:26:32,691
PEOPLE LIKE A MAGIC USER AND
FIGHTER AND CLERIC AND THIEF?

389
00:26:32,691 --> 00:26:39,397
Regé-Jean: YES.
NO ONE RESPECTS HEALERS SO WE

390
00:26:39,397 --> 00:26:43,001
HAVE NO HEALERS.
Stephen: THERE IS NO CLEAR?

391
00:26:43,001 --> 00:26:47,105
Regé-Jean: NO.
WE HAVE A RELATIVELY BALANCED

392
00:26:47,105 --> 00:26:52,177
PARTY.
PALADIN, BARBARIAN, VERY HORNY

393
00:26:52,177 --> 00:27:00,085
BARD, SORCERER ANAEROBIC.
AND A ROGUE.

394
00:27:00,085 --> 00:27:08,360
I AM THE PALADIN.
PAINFULLY RIGHTEOUS, INCREDIBLY

395
00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:09,627
STOIC, THOROUGHLY CHARMING
RIDICULOUSLY HEROIC MAN IN

396
00:27:09,627 --> 00:27:15,500
SHINING ARMOR AND THE CAPE WHICH
IS REALLY, REALLY FUN BECAUSE

397
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,969
YOU GET TO BE THE STRAIGHT MAN
TO WHOM EVERYONE ELSE BOUNCES

398
00:27:17,969 --> 00:27:21,639
OFF AND THEY HAVE DONE THIS IN A
VERSION WHERE I WOULD BE THE

399
00:27:21,639 --> 00:27:24,642
HERO AND ANY OTHER MOVIE.
JONATHAN GOLDSTEIN TALKS ABOUT,

400
00:27:24,642 --> 00:27:30,215
LIKE THIS CHARACTER WANDERED IN
FROM ANOTHER LOT.

401
00:27:30,215 --> 00:27:34,019
A SERIOUS FANCY MOVIE AND THEN
BLUNDERS UPON THESE IDIOTS

402
00:27:34,019 --> 00:27:35,286
MAKING THE "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS:
HONOR AMONG THIEVES" MOVIE AND

403
00:27:35,286 --> 00:27:39,024
SPENDS THE MOVIE VERY CONFUSED.
THERE SOMETHING COOL ABOUT THE

404
00:27:39,024 --> 00:27:41,793
GUY WHO SHOULD BE THE HERO, HE
DOESN'T GET TO ENJOY ANY OF THE

405
00:27:41,793 --> 00:27:43,595
FUN BECAUSE HE'S TAKING IT ALL
SO SERIOUSLY.

406
00:27:43,595 --> 00:27:47,699
Stephen: LAWFUL GOOD.
WE HAVE A CLIP.

407
00:27:47,699 --> 00:27:50,668
Regé-Jean: YOU HAVE THE
CLIP WHERE WE ARE--

408
00:27:50,668 --> 00:27:59,577
IT'S A VERY D&D JOKE BUT IT'S
ALSO VERY FUNNY.

409
00:27:59,577 --> 00:28:01,246
THERE IS A VERY SPECIFIC SET OF
RULES THAT YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW IN

410
00:28:01,246 --> 00:28:05,450
ORDER TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM.
IT ILLUSTRATES WHAT I WAS

411
00:28:05,450 --> 00:28:07,719
TALKING ABOUT HERE.
MORE THAN ONE SOLUTION OF THE

412
00:28:07,719 --> 00:28:09,587
PROBLEM.
Stephen: GYM.

413
00:28:09,587 --> 00:28:13,858
SPEAK THE BRIDGE IS PROTECTED BN
ANCIENT TRAP.

414
00:28:13,858 --> 00:28:17,262
THERE IS THE PRECISE FORMULA WE
MUST FOLLOW.

415
00:28:17,262 --> 00:28:20,732
WHAT IS THE FORMULA.
IT'S QUITE SIMPLE.

416
00:28:20,732 --> 00:28:23,535
ODD-NUMBERED BLOCKS ONLY MOVING
FORWARD WITH EACH STEP EXCEPT

417
00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:26,404
FOR EVERY FIFTH STEP WHICH MUST
BE A LATERAL MOVE.

418
00:28:26,404 --> 00:28:31,709
LEFT OR RIGHT, IT MATTERS NOT.
AT THE MIDPOINT WE SWITCHED

419
00:28:31,709 --> 00:28:38,616
EVEN-NUMBERED BLOCKS, SAME
PATTERN EXCEPT THE FOURTH STEP.

420
00:28:38,616 --> 00:28:48,927
[RUMBLING]
I MAY HAVE TRIGGERED THE

421
00:28:48,927 --> 00:28:55,700
MECHANISM.
SO, SORRY.

422
00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:57,902
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Stephen: I'LL BE THERE.

423
00:28:57,902 --> 00:29:01,072
LOVELY TO MEET YOU.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE,

424
00:29:01,072 --> 00:29:05,944
REGE-JEAN."DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: G
THIEVES" OPENS IN THEATERS ON

425
00:29:05,944 --> 00:29:07,579
MARCH 31.
REGE-JEAN PAGE EVERYBODY.

426
00:29:07,579 --> 00:29:14,752
WILL BE BACK WITH THE STAR OF
"SO HELP ME TODD," SKYLAR ASTIN.

427
00:29:25,430 --> 00:29:27,232
Stephen: THERE YOU GO.

428
00:29:27,232 --> 00:29:28,500
HELLO, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME BACK.

429
00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:31,569
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW
MY NEXT GAS FROM THE

430
00:29:31,569 --> 00:29:36,508
PITCH-PERFECT MOVIES AND "SO
HELP ME TODD."

431
00:29:36,508 --> 00:29:42,914
PLEASE WELCOME TO
"THE LATE SHOW," SKYLAR ASTIN.

432
00:29:42,914 --> 00:30:04,769
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

433
00:30:04,769 --> 00:30:08,573
Skylar: WARM WELCOME.
Stephen: NICE TO HAVE YOU,

434
00:30:08,573 --> 00:30:10,942
NICE TO GO CONGRATULATIONS ON
"SO HELP ME TODD," THAT'S A BIG

435
00:30:10,942 --> 00:30:12,310
HIT.
YOU'RE BEING PICKED UP FOR

436
00:30:12,310 --> 00:30:15,313
ANOTHER SEASON.
I WANT THEM TO PICK YOU UP FOR

437
00:30:15,313 --> 00:30:17,882
ANOTHER SEASON BECAUSE I LOOKED
AT THE MINUTE-BY-MINUTE'S.

438
00:30:17,882 --> 00:30:21,286
IF YOU HAVE AN ORIGINAL SHOW ON
A THURSDAY NIGHT, OUR RATINGS

439
00:30:21,286 --> 00:30:23,721
ARE BETTER.
Skylar: WE'VE GOT YOUR

440
00:30:23,721 --> 00:30:25,557
BACK.
Stephen: THERE ARE WEEKS

441
00:30:25,557 --> 00:30:28,092
WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE ORIGINAL
SHOWS AND I AM HERE TO SAY, GET

442
00:30:28,092 --> 00:30:31,429
BACK TO WORK, SKYLAR.
Skylar: I'M SORRY.

443
00:30:31,429 --> 00:30:34,732
MY PARENTS AGREE WITH YOU.
MY PARENTS ARE ALWAYS UPSET

444
00:30:34,732 --> 00:30:36,234
WHENEVER THEY ARE LIKE, WHAT'S
GOING ON?

445
00:30:36,234 --> 00:30:41,906
IT'S A RERUN?
Stephen: PEOPLE OF GOD TO

446
00:30:41,906 --> 00:30:46,678
SLEEP SOMETIMES PEOPLE HAVE GOT
TO SLEEP SOMETIMES.

447
00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:52,984
YOU'RE KNOWN FOR "PITCH PERFECT.
YOU'VE DONE A BUNCH OF OTHER

448
00:30:52,984 --> 00:30:55,687
STUFF, DO YOU STILL GET STOPPED
ON THE STREET FOR PITCH-PERFECT?

449
00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:58,523
Skylar: I DO.
IT'S SOMETHING THAT REALLY

450
00:30:58,523 --> 00:31:01,693
STRUCK A CHORD WITH PEOPLE.
Stephen: WHAT DO THEY DO?

451
00:31:01,693 --> 00:31:05,096
Skylar: I DIDN'T EVEN
REALIZE THEY DID THAT.

452
00:31:05,096 --> 00:31:07,498
THEY STOP ME.
THEY WANT ME TO DO THE ICONIC

453
00:31:07,498 --> 00:31:12,503
LINES FROM IT AND THINGS LIKE THAT.

454
00:31:12,503 --> 00:31:16,708
IF YOU LIKE I'M ALSO JUST
RECOGNIZABLE AND OF THE PEOPLE

455
00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:21,246
THINK THEY KNOW ME PERSONALLY.
THEY WANT TO RELATE TO ME IN

456
00:31:21,246 --> 00:31:25,450
SOME SORT OF WAY.
THEY ARE LIKE, HEY, DID WE SPEND

457
00:31:25,450 --> 00:31:29,120
TIME IN FLORIDA TOGETHER?
AND I ALWAYS LIKE, THE--

458
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,322
Stephen: TO SOME PEOPLE YOU
LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF GUY THAT I

459
00:31:31,322 --> 00:31:34,826
SPENT SOME TIME IN FLORIDA WITH
AND WE WERE TO [BLEEP]

460
00:31:34,826 --> 00:31:37,128
TO REMEMBER IT.
Skylar: THAT'S EXACTLY

461
00:31:37,128 --> 00:31:38,496
RIGHT AND I HAVE TO GO ALONG
WITH IT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO

462
00:31:38,496 --> 00:31:40,398
NAME DROP MY CELL.
I'M THE GUY FROM PITCH-PERFECT.

463
00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:47,272
THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM.
I'M LIKE, DELRAY BEACH.

464
00:31:47,272 --> 00:31:51,075
THINKING MORE TALLAHASSEE AND
I'M IN THIS AWKWARD CONVER

465
00:31:51,075 --> 00:31:53,077
CONVERSATION.
Stephen: DO THEY SAY, LET

466
00:31:53,077 --> 00:31:55,880
ME GET YOU A DRINK?
Skylar: I'VE BEEN TO

467
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:57,415
SEVERAL FAMILY REUNIONS BECAUSE
OF IT.

468
00:31:57,415 --> 00:32:03,621
YOU GET DEEP ENOUGH, THERE'S NO
TURNING BACK.

469
00:32:03,621 --> 00:32:04,555
SPILL LET ME ASK UNIPART QUESTION.

470
00:32:04,555 --> 00:32:09,494
WHEN DID YOU FIRST KNOW THAT YOU WERE.

471
00:32:09,494 --> 00:32:11,396
Skylar: MAYBE IT'S RIGHT
NOW, HONESTLY.

472
00:32:11,396 --> 00:32:15,466
I'VE NEVER GOTTEN SO MANY
APPLAUSE BREAKS.

473
00:32:15,466 --> 00:32:18,803
THE GROWING SUCCESS OF THE MOVIE
AND I WAS PREPPED FOR BECAUSE I

474
00:32:18,803 --> 00:32:23,941
DIDN'T START OUT ON BROADWAY'S
I'VE HAD SOME FAME IN A BUBBLE.

475
00:32:23,941 --> 00:32:28,112
AND THEN I RIDE THE SUBWAY HOME
LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

476
00:32:28,112 --> 00:32:32,150
THEY HAVE THE PLAYBILL.
Stephen: NOTHING LIKE A

477
00:32:32,150 --> 00:32:35,253
BROADWAY THEATER.
LUCKY TO DO THIS SHOW IN A

478
00:32:35,253 --> 00:32:38,990
BROADWAY THEATER.
WHAT IS THAT YOU LOVE MOST?

479
00:32:38,990 --> 00:32:43,761
HOW GLAMOROUS THE BACKSTAGE'S?
Skylar: PEOPLE DON'T

480
00:32:43,761 --> 00:32:46,631
REALIZE ABOUT BROADWAY SHOWS,
IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND THE SECOND

481
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:50,134
THAT YOU STEP INTO THE WINGS
IT'S LIKE A BUILDING FROM THE

482
00:32:50,134 --> 00:32:51,302
1800s SUBSTANTIVELY CRAWLING
WITH MOLD.

483
00:32:51,302 --> 00:32:56,741
BUT THAT'S ALSO THE CHARM.
Stephen: THE RATS ARE

484
00:32:56,741 --> 00:32:59,143
UNIONIZED.
Skylar: WE SUPPORT THE

485
00:32:59,143 --> 00:33:02,547
LOCAL RAT UNIONS.
Stephen: HOW DID YOU

486
00:33:02,547 --> 00:33:04,415
DISCOVER MUSICAL THEATER?
Skylar: I AUDITIONED FOR

487
00:33:04,415 --> 00:33:14,359
LOCAL PRODUCTION IN MY COMMUNITY
OF "GODSPELL."

488
00:33:14,359 --> 00:33:18,930
Stephen: WE ARE REALLY
JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR.

489
00:33:18,930 --> 00:33:24,102
"DAY BY DAY" IS FINE.
Skylar: IT'S A LITTLE SOFT.

490
00:33:24,102 --> 00:33:28,172
JESUS IS A BIT OF A ROCK STAR.
Stephen: AS HE WAS.

491
00:33:28,172 --> 00:33:32,510
Skylar: KIND OF A BIG DEAL.
Skylar: YOU DON'T GET THOSE

492
00:33:32,510 --> 00:33:35,079
ABS FROM FOLK MUSIC.
Skylar: THERE IS NO

493
00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:42,353
MANDOLIN IN HIS WORKOUT ROUTINE.
Stephen: LET'S MOVE ON.

494
00:33:42,353 --> 00:33:51,562
YOU ARE STARRING IN THE CPS
DRAMA, HIT DRAMA "SO HELP ME

495
00:33:51,562 --> 00:33:54,599
TODD."
WHO IS TODD AND WHO IS HE SO

496
00:33:54,599 --> 00:33:56,701
HELPING.
Skylar: HE'S A PRIVATE

497
00:33:56,701 --> 00:34:00,204
INVESTIGATOR STRIPPED OF HIS
LICENSE FOR HIS ILLEGAL ACTIVITY

498
00:34:00,204 --> 00:34:05,176
AND ASKED TO GO TO WORK FOR HIS
HIGH-POWERED ATTORNEY MOTHER

499
00:34:05,176 --> 00:34:09,547
PLAYED BY THE INCREDIBLE
MARCIA GAY HARDEN.

500
00:34:09,547 --> 00:34:12,884
OR AS I LIKE TO CALL HER,
MAR-GAY-HAR.

501
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:15,520
I REALLY DO.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I GET AWAY WITH

502
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:19,557
IT EVERY DAY.
WE ARE MOTHER AND SON AND WE

503
00:34:19,557 --> 00:34:22,126
NAVIGATE OUR FRACTURED
RELATIONSHIP AND NAVIGATES

504
00:34:22,126 --> 00:34:26,497
HOLDING CASES TOGETHER SO
THERE'S A LOT OF BICKERING,

505
00:34:26,497 --> 00:34:28,499
MISPRONUNCIATIONS OF APPS AND
THE THINGS YOU DO WITH YOUR

506
00:34:28,499 --> 00:34:31,736
MOTHER AND YOUR SON.
Stephen: HERE'S A BETTER

507
00:34:31,736 --> 00:34:39,177
PICTURE.
DO YOU THINK?

508
00:34:39,177 --> 00:34:42,780
DO YOU THINK YOU TWO COULD WORK
TOGETHER?

509
00:34:42,780 --> 00:34:46,284
Skylar: WE COULD.
WE OBVIOUSLY LOVE EACH OTHER.

510
00:34:46,284 --> 00:34:52,390
TRAVELING WOULD BE DIFFICULT.
MY MOM IS VERY PARTICULAR ABOUT

511
00:34:52,390 --> 00:34:57,328
HER DIET AND HER PACKING AND
OVER PACKING AND SHE IS AN

512
00:34:57,328 --> 00:35:01,265
CANTALOUPES BECAUSE SHE PICKS
THEM AT THE MARKET AND IS

513
00:35:01,265 --> 00:35:04,936
VERY--
WE LITERALLY WENT TO FRANCE ONCE

514
00:35:04,936 --> 00:35:06,471
WITH A WHOLE SUITCASE OF CUT UP CANTALOUPE.

515
00:35:06,471 --> 00:35:08,406
Stephen: YOU CAN'T BRING
FRUITS OR VEGETABLES INTO

516
00:35:08,406 --> 00:35:10,508
FRANCE.
Skylar: I AM AWARE.

517
00:35:10,508 --> 00:35:13,144
Stephen: YOU MIGHT AS WELL
STRAP HEROIN AROUND YOUR WAIST.

518
00:35:13,144 --> 00:35:17,582
Skylar: SPEAKING OF THAT.
IT ACTUALLY DOES ESCALATE.

519
00:35:17,582 --> 00:35:20,885
SHE TRAVELS WITH THIS NONDAIRY
CREAMER AND FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T

520
00:35:20,885 --> 00:35:24,021
KNOW, NONDAIRY CREAMER IS A
WHITE POWDER THAT SHE ALWAYS

521
00:35:24,021 --> 00:35:27,959
CARRIES AROUND IN THIS LITTLE
TUPPERWARE THING.

522
00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:31,696
SHE'S ALWAYS, SHE'S A HUGE
FLIGHT RISK SHE'S ALWAYS STOPPED

523
00:35:31,696 --> 00:35:34,665
BY TSA.
WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE?

524
00:35:34,665 --> 00:35:38,102
ALWAYS PULLED INTO A BACK ROOM
AND MY DAD AND I HAVE TO BE

525
00:35:38,102 --> 00:35:41,239
LIKE, SHE'S NOT A DRUG LORD.
SHE'S JUST PARTICULAR ABOUT HER

526
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:43,241
CREAMER.
THAT WOULD BE THE ONLY RISK IN

527
00:35:43,241 --> 00:35:47,111
WORKING WITH HER BECAUSE IT
WOULD TAKE SOME TIME.

528
00:35:47,111 --> 00:35:50,648
Stephen: WHY CANTALOUPE?
THAT IS A TRASH FRUIT.

529
00:35:50,648 --> 00:35:52,817
IT'S ONLY PUT ON THE FACE TO
FILL OUT THE TABLE.

530
00:35:52,817 --> 00:35:57,622
Skylar: IT IS FILLER.
I AM GRAPES, STRAWBERRIES,

531
00:35:57,622 --> 00:36:00,124
BLUEBERRIES KIND OF GUY.
ANY MELON, I AGREE IT'S FILLER.

532
00:36:00,124 --> 00:36:04,629
Stephen: THIS IS WHY YOU'RE
A STAR.

533
00:36:04,629 --> 00:36:05,930
SKYLAR.
"SO HELP ME TODD" AIRS THURSDAY

534
00:36:05,930 --> 00:36:10,401
NIGHTS AT 9:00 P.M. ON CBS.
SKYLAR ASTIN, EVERYBODY.

535
00:36:10,401 --> 00:36:14,238
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

536
00:36:24,849 --> 00:36:26,284
Stephen: HIS SOLO
ACOUSTIC TOUR KICKED OFF

537
00:36:26,284 --> 00:36:27,518
LAST WEEKEND.
PERFORMING "WAITIN' ON THE DAY,"

538
00:36:27,518 --> 00:36:33,324
JOHN MAYER.

539
00:36:33,324 --> 00:36:46,370
♪ ♪
♪ WAITING ON THE DAY ♪

540
00:36:46,370 --> 00:36:50,942
♪ WHEN MY THOUGHTS ♪
♪ ARE MY OWN ♪

541
00:36:50,942 --> 00:36:58,516
♪ WHEN THIS HOUSE IS MY HOME ♪
♪ AND PLANS ARE MADE ♪

542
00:36:58,516 --> 00:37:06,891
♪ WHEN YOU'LL BE THERE ♪
♪ FOR ME, BABE ♪

543
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:16,167
♪ WHEN YOU'LL LOVE ME ♪
♪ ALL OF THE WAY ♪

544
00:37:16,167 --> 00:37:25,176
♪ WHEN YOU TAKE MY SIDE ♪
♪ IN EVERY LITTLE FIREFIGHT ♪

545
00:37:25,176 --> 00:37:29,580
♪ WHEN YOU HANG ♪
♪ YOUR THINGS AND STAY ♪

546
00:37:29,580 --> 00:37:38,255
♪ I'M WAITING ON THE DAY ♪
♪ WHEN MY LIFE ON THE RUN ♪

547
00:37:38,255 --> 00:37:45,663
♪ BLEACHES OUT IN THE SUN ♪
♪ AND SHOWS MY AGE ♪

548
00:37:45,663 --> 00:37:49,700
♪ I'M WAITING ON THE DAY ♪
♪ WHEN THAT VOICE ♪

549
00:37:49,700 --> 00:37:54,572
♪ COMES TO SAY ♪
♪ THAT IT'S NOT WRONG ♪

550
00:37:54,572 --> 00:38:07,718
♪ WHAT YOU DID FOR JUST A KID ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'LL BE THERE FOR ME

551
00:38:07,718 --> 00:38:14,859
BABE ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'LL LOVE ME ♪

552
00:38:14,859 --> 00:38:23,000
♪ ALL OF THE WAY ♪
♪ WHEN YOU TAKE MY SIDE ♪

553
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:29,407
♪ IN EVERY LITTLE FIREFIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU HANG ♪

554
00:38:29,407 --> 00:38:39,150
♪ YOUR THINGS AND STAY ♪
♪ WELL, I'M WAITING ON THE DAY ♪

555
00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:46,290
WHEN YOU FINALLY GO MY WAY
I'M WAITING ON THE DAY ♪

556
00:38:46,290 --> 00:38:56,934
WHEN YOU FINALLY GO MY WAY MAYBE
I'M CRAZY FOR WAITING ON YOU

557
00:38:56,934 --> 00:39:00,971
STILL BUT I THINK YOU SOMEDAY WILL.

558
00:39:00,971 --> 00:39:13,684
♪
WAITING ON THE DAY ♪

559
00:39:13,684 --> 00:39:27,498
WHEN THE KIDS ARE ALL GROWN AND
WE GO DANCING ♪

560
00:39:27,498 --> 00:39:43,247
♪ CAN YOU DO IT, BABE ♪
♪ CAN YOU LOVE ME ALL OF THE WA

561
00:39:43,247 --> 00:39:45,249
WAY ♪
♪ TIE ME TIGHT AND LITTLE

562
00:39:45,249 --> 00:39:51,789
STRANDS PARADISE ♪
♪ WILL YOU WALK WITH ME BEFORE

563
00:39:51,789 --> 00:40:03,901
THE MORNING PHASE ♪
♪ I'LL BE WAITING ON THE DAY

564
00:40:03,901 --> 00:40:09,907
♪ LA DA LE DA DE LA ♪
♪ LA DA LE DA DE LA ♪

565
00:40:09,907 --> 00:40:20,785
[APPLAUSE]
Stephen: THANK YOU, JOHN.

566
00:40:20,785 --> 00:40:23,721
JOHN MAYER, EVERYBODY.
THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW."

567
00:40:23,721 --> 00:40:25,222
GOOD NIGHT.

568
00:40:25,222 --> 00:40:27,291
♪ ♪