1 00:00:01,634 --> 00:00:04,337 THE NEW VERSION OF CHATGPT, 2 00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:07,340 GPT-4, IS OUT THIS MORNING. THE PREVIOUS VERSION OF CHAT 3 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:10,443 GPT HAD ABOUT A 10% CHANCE OF PASSING THE BAR EXAM FOR 4 00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:12,879 LAWYERS. THIS NEW VERSION THAT'S BEING 5 00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:15,815 INTRODUCED TODAY, CHATGPT-4, HAS ABOUT A 90% CHANCE OF PASSING 6 00:00:15,815 --> 00:00:21,087 THE BAR. 90% PASSING THE BAR IS BETTER 7 00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:25,258 THAN THE HUMAN RATE. HAVE YOU BEEN INJURED IN AN 8 00:00:25,258 --> 00:00:28,928 ACCIDENT? NEED AN ATTORNEY FAST? 9 00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:32,031 THEN CALL THE LAWYERS AT COMPUTER & PHONE, CHATBOTS AT 10 00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:36,870 LAW. REGARDLESS OF WHICH 11 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:40,507 HUMAN-INDUCED MALFUNCTION HAS INJURED YOU. 12 00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:45,211 PROPELLING SELF OFF ROOF, BOUNCY STICK ONTO TABLE, 13 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:48,281 OR CELEBRATORY EXPLOSIVES IN ANAL CAVITY. 14 00:00:48,281 --> 00:00:50,984 WE'LL GET YOU THE MONEY YOU DESERVE. 15 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:56,122 JUST PICK UP YOUR DEVICE AND CALL A DEVICE. 16 00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:59,058 ♪ COMPUTER AND PHONE ♪ ♪ WE WILL HARVEST YOUR TEETH ♪ 17 00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:04,664 ♪ FOR MICROCHIPS ♪ [LAUGHTER] 18 00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:05,498 Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH 19 00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:12,238 STEPHEN COLBERT." TONIGHT... 20 00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,507 PLUS STEPHEN. FIRST, STEPHEN WELCOMES... 21 00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:19,179 VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS! AND CARRIE COON! 22 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:27,654 FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND. 23 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:31,758 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER 24 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:38,298 IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT. 25 00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:39,299 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT! 26 00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:47,474 THAT'S RIGHT! OH, MY GOODNESS! 27 00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:53,713 HELLO! ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:53,713 --> 00:02:04,824 OKAY! HAPPY, HAPPY HOW ARE WE DOING? 29 00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:09,429 [CHANTING "STEPHEN"] THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 30 00:02:09,429 --> 00:02:17,604 THANK YOU UP THERE, DOWN THERE! TANKS, EVERYBODY! 31 00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:22,408 PLEASE HAVE A SEAT! THANKS, FOLKS. 32 00:02:22,408 --> 00:02:25,712 WELCOME, ONE AND ALL TO "THE LATE SHOW," I'M YOUR HOST 33 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:28,748 STEPHEN COLBERT. THANK YOU, CITIZEN. 34 00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:33,152 IT'S A VERY SPECIAL NIGHT HERE ON "THE LATE SHOW" BECAUSE IN A 35 00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:38,491 FEW MINUTES I'LL BE JOINED BY VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS. 36 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:41,160 Y'ALL AT HOME DON'T KNOW IS THIS PLACE IS CRAWLING WITH 37 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,964 SECRET SERVICE RIGHT NOW. I WANT TO THINK THIS AUDIENCE 38 00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:48,401 RIGHT HERE FOR SUBMITTING TO A THOROUGH, BUT TENDER, CAVITY 39 00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:54,040 SEARCH BEFORE BEING SEATED. ALL IN ALL,-- 40 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,409 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] NO EXTRA CHARGE. 41 00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:59,779 ALL IN ALL, SORT OF A SLOW NEWS DAY, NOT MUCH GOING ON. 42 00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:04,517 UNLESS YOU WANT TO COUNT THE DIRECT CONTACT BETWEEN THE 43 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,719 RUSSIAN AND U.S. MILITARIES IN THE SKY OVER THE BLACK SEA. 44 00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:10,523 HERE'S WHAT WE'RE TOLD THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 45 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:11,958 YESTERDAY, A RUSSIAN FIGHTER JET COLLIDED WITH A U.S. 46 00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:13,927 DRONE. AND EVEN WORSE, AFTER THE 47 00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:17,797 COLLISION, THE RUSSIAN PLANE DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE A NOTE ON THE 48 00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:20,867 WINDSHIELD. [LAUGHTER] 49 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,135 NOW OUR INSURANCE IS GONNA GO UP. 50 00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:26,573 OF COURSE, ALL OF OUR DRONES ARE INSURED BY THE GENERAL. 51 00:03:26,573 --> 00:03:32,745 [LAUGHTER] THE DRONE, CALLED AN MQ-9, WAS 52 00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:35,648 ON A ROUTINE FLIGHT IN INTERNATIONAL AIRSPACE WHEN IT 53 00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:38,818 WAS INTERCEPTED BY TWO RUSSIAN FIGHTER JETS WHO USED SOME 54 00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:43,523 UNUSUAL TACTICS. PLEASE EXPLAIN, AIR FORCE MAN. 55 00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:46,693 SEVERAL TIMES BEFORE THE COLLISION, THEY DUMPED FUEL ON 56 00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:50,363 AND FLEW IN FRONT OF THE MQ-9 IN A RECKLESS AND UNPROFESSIONAL 57 00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:53,099 MANNER. Stephen: DUMPED FUEL ON IT? 58 00:03:53,099 --> 00:03:59,339 DID RUSSIA JUST PEE ON OUR DRONE? 59 00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:01,541 THEY'RE JUST BULLYING AN INANIMATE OBJECT! 60 00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:04,010 "HEY, NERD! MEET ME UNDER THE BLEACHERS 61 00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:08,214 AFTER SCHOOL. I'M GOING TO BEAT UP YOUR BIKE." 62 00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:11,050 WE HAVEN'T SEEN THIS KIND OF HAZING ON A HUNK OF METAL SINCE 63 00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:15,188 THE CUBAN MISSILE WEDGIE. [LAUGHTER] 64 00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,090 - THE U.S. HAD TO DITCH THE - - 65 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,758 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] IT MAKES NO SENSE! 66 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,493 IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, IT MAKES NO SENSE. 67 00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,829 THE U.S. HAD TO DITCH THE DAMAGED DRONE IN THE BLACK SEA, 68 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:29,602 AND, NO SURPRISE, RUSSIA OFFERED AN ALTERNTE DESCRIPTION OF THE 69 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:33,940 EVENTS, SAYING THEY SCRAMBLED FIGHTER JETS TO IDENTIFY THE 70 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,876 DRONE, THEN THE UNMANNED U.S. AIRCRAFT MANEUVERED SHARPLY, 71 00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:40,780 LOST ALTITUDE AND HIT THE WATER. "IT WAS NOT OUR FAULT. 72 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:44,484 DRONE ATE BAD SUSHI AND FELL OUT OF SKY WINDOW LIKE MEDDLING 73 00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:49,022 JOURNALIST." NATIONAL SECURITY OFFICIALS ARE 74 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:59,098 NOT BUYING THE RUSSIAN STORY. IN ONE SUR-- WILL NOT SURPRE 75 00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:00,466 YOU. IT SHOULD TAKE EVERY THING ABOUT 76 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:03,803 THE RUSSIAN SAY IN AND AROUND UKRAINE WITH A HUGE GRAIN OF 77 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,471 SALT. Stephen: YES, A HUGE GRAIN 78 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:06,305 OF SALT. A 79 00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:10,276 OR AS RUSSIAN SOLDIERS CALL IT, LUNCH. 80 00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:14,814 SOME REPUBLICANS WERE MAD AND THOUGHT BIDEN DIDN'T GO FAR 81 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,916 ENOUGH. LIKE LINDSEY GRAHAM. 82 00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:19,152 WE SHOULD HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE AND SAY THAT IF YOU 83 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:24,457 EVER GET ANOTHER U.S. JET FLYING IN INTERNATIONAL WATERS, YOU'D 84 00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:25,825 BE SHUT DOWN. WHAT WOULD RONALD REAGAN DO 85 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:28,861 RIGHT NOW? Stephen: THAT'S EASY. 86 00:05:28,861 --> 00:05:30,463 HE WOULD TAKE DOWN RUSSIA BY FUNNELING CRACK INTO THEIR 87 00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:36,669 NEIGHBORHOODS. EDUCATE YOURSELF TO THAT 88 00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:40,807 REALITY. EDUCATE YOURSELF TO THAT 89 00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:42,008 REALITY. A 90 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,977 NOT EVERYONE'S ROOTING FOR AMERICA'S ROBOT IN THIS DUST-UP. 91 00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:46,112 FOR INSTANCE, THE FORMER PRESIDENT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A HUGE 92 00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:51,384 PUTIN FANBOY. IN FACT, LAST WEEK, HE BLURTED 93 00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:56,189 OUT A PEACE PLAN THAT WOULD HAND RUSSIA CHUNKS OF UKRAINE. 94 00:05:56,189 --> 00:06:00,893 THAT IS LEADERSHIP IN A TIME OF CRISIS. 95 00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:01,994 IT REMINDS ME OF WINSTON CHURCHILL DURING THE BATTLE OF 96 00:06:01,994 --> 00:06:06,799 BRITAIN. WE SHOULD GIVE THEM CHUNKS OF 97 00:06:06,799 --> 00:06:09,836 THE BEACHES, GIVE THEM CHUNKS OF THE LANDING GROUNDS. 98 00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:13,005 IF WILL SURRENDER. ADOLPH IS A MEMBER OF MY GOLF 99 00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:16,809 CLUB. Stephen: BUT MOST OTHER 100 00:06:16,809 --> 00:06:20,279 REPUBLICANS HAVE BACKED UKRAINE. UNTIL NOW AT LEAST. 101 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:25,551 ENTER FLORIDA GOVERNOR AND THREATENED CAT, RON DESANTIS. 102 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:28,654 MONDAY NIGHT, DESANTIS RELEASED THIS STATEMENT. 103 00:06:28,654 --> 00:06:31,858 "WHILE THE U.S. HAS MANY VITAL NATIONAL INTERESTS, BECOMING 104 00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:34,894 FURTHER ENTANGLED IN A TERRITORIAL DISPUTE BETWEEN 105 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:37,363 UKRAINE AND RUSSIA IS NOT ONE OF THEM." 106 00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:41,501 SO YOU'RE SAYING THE INVASION OF A SOVEREIGN COUNTRY AND THE 107 00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:45,571 DESTRUCTION OF ENTIRE CITIES AND THE SHELLING NUCLEAR REACTORS 108 00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:48,040 AND THE ATTACKING CIVILIAN TARGETS IS A "TERRITORIAL" 109 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,477 DISPUTE? YOU WERE A HISTORY MAJOR AT 110 00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:53,646 YALE! WAS THAT THE UNIVERSITY OR THE 111 00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:57,984 LOCK COMPANY? [LAUGHTER] 112 00:06:57,984 --> 00:07:05,958 BECAUSE THAT'S CLEARLY-- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 113 00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:09,662 BECAUSE THAT'S CLEARLY GIVING AID AND COMFORT TO PUTIN. 114 00:07:09,662 --> 00:07:11,831 AND YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE HIS STATEMENT WAS RELEASED ON A 115 00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:16,769 RUSSIAN PROPAGANDA PROGRAM, "TUCKER CARLSON TONIGHT." 116 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:17,970 [LAUGHTER] CLEARLY, DESANTIS IS JUST TAKING 117 00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:20,740 THIS POSITION TO ESTABLISH HIS FAR-RIGHT BONA FIDES IN HIS 118 00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:26,112 UPCOMING PRIMARY CHALLENGE AGAINST THE FORMER PRESIDENT. 119 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,847 AND FOR HIS PART, THE FORMER PRESIDENT REPORTEDLY 120 00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:30,516 WANTS TO GO AFTER IS DESANTIS' RECORD AS AN ASSISTANT U.S. 121 00:07:30,516 --> 00:07:32,418 ATTORNEY, WHERE HE PLANS TO ACCUSE DESANTIS OF BEING AN 122 00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:36,689 EXTREMELY LENIENT PROSECUTOR IN CASES INVOLVING CHILD 123 00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:42,662 PORNOGRAPHY. WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. 124 00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:45,431 IT'S LIKE THAT CLASSIC ROOMMATE FIGHT, "YOU ATE MY LAST YOGURT." 125 00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:46,432 "OH YEAH? WELL, YOU'RE HISTORICALLY 126 00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:50,002 LENIENT IN CASES INVOLVING CHILD PORNOGRAPHY!" 127 00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:54,006 [LAUGHTER] AND TO PAINT HIM AS AN INSIDER, 128 00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:56,209 THE FORMER PRESIDENT IS CONSIDERING A NEW NICKNAME FOR 129 00:07:56,209 --> 00:08:00,713 DESANTIS. "RON ESTABLISHMENT." 130 00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:02,148 OKAY, THAT'S NOWHERE NEAR A NICKNAME. 131 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,417 THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FUN PLACE FOR RONS TO HANG OUT WITH OTHER 132 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:08,454 RONS. "WELCOME TO RON ESTABLISHMENT, 133 00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:10,489 RON. I'M RON. 134 00:08:10,489 --> 00:08:11,591 HELLO RON. RON WILL BE YOUR SERVER. 135 00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:14,160 OUR SPECIAL TONIGHT IS RON WITH A SIDE OF RON. 136 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,294 HAVE A GOOD RON. RON. 137 00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:21,300 RON. RON." 138 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:25,538 ONE THING THAT MIGHT AFFECT THE EX-PRESIDENT'S CAMPAIGN IS BEING 139 00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:27,440 THE TARGET OF, AND I'M ROUNDING DOWN HERE, A QUINTILLION 140 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,910 COURT CASES. ONE OF THOSE IS THE MANHATTAN 141 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:36,349 DA'S CASE INVOLVING THE $130,000 HUSH MONEY PAYMENT THE FORMER 142 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:40,519 PREZ MADE TO STORMY DANIELS, WHICH MAY HAVE BEEN AN ILLEGAL 143 00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:44,223 CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTION. AND NOW, PROSECUTORS ARE 144 00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:46,359 SIGNALING THAT CRIMINAL CHARGES FOR THE FORMER PRESIDENT ARE 145 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:57,103 LIKELY. OKAY, I'VE BEEN HURT BEFORE, BUT 146 00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:58,237 I'LL TAKE REPORTS OF "CHARGES LIKELY." 147 00:08:58,237 --> 00:09:01,707 IT'S MUCH BETTER THAN WHAT I USUALLY READ. 148 00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:05,244 "JUSTICE HAZY, TRY AGAIN LATER." [LAUGHTER] 149 00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:07,880 THE EX-PRESIDENT MAINTAINS HIS INNOCENCE IN THE HUSH MONEY 150 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,616 SCHEME, AND LIKE ALL THE MOST INNOCENT PEOPLE, HE WON'T 151 00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:14,654 TESTIFY. SO HE'S KEEPING QUIET. 152 00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:20,226 WAIT A SECOND, DID HE PAY HIMSELF $130,000? 153 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,595 BUT MY FAVORITE PART OF ALL THIS LEGAL DRAMA IS THAT AT THIS 154 00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:25,831 POINT, THE EX-PRESIDENT HAS TO SHOP FOR NEW LAWYERS IN THE 155 00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:29,602 DISCOUNT ATTORNEY BIN. LIKE THE ONE HE'S RECENTLY BEEN 156 00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:34,340 SENDING OUT ON CABLE NEWS. JOE TACOPINA, SEEN HERE SAYING 157 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,275 "MR. LUTHOR! MR. LUTHOR! 158 00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:42,481 I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT, BUT SUPERMAN GOT AWAY AGAIN!" 159 00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:47,186 TACOPINA WENT ON MSNBC YESTERDAY, AND THINGS GOT 160 00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:50,957 A LITTLE SPICY WHEN HOST ARI MELBER PLAYED VIDEO FROM 161 00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:54,126 2018 SHOWING THE EX-PRESIDENT CLEARLY LYING TO REPORTERS ABOUT 162 00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:56,262 THE HUSH MONEY. DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE 163 00:09:56,262 --> 00:10:01,434 $130,000? THEN WHY DID MICHAELS TAKE 164 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:05,838 THIS? YOU HAVE TO ASK MICHAELS. 165 00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:11,477 MICHAEL IS MY ATTORNEY, AND YOU HAVE TO ASK HIM. 166 00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:19,952 Stephen: "ARI, A LIE DOESN'T COUNT UNLESS 167 00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:23,756 IT'S IN COURT! THAT'S IN THE CONSTITUTION. 168 00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:25,624 OKAY, I JUST LIED ABOUT THAT, BUT WE'RE NOT IN COURT, SO IT 169 00:10:25,624 --> 00:10:29,195 DOESN'T COUNT! AND SINCE THERE'S NO JUDGE HERE, 170 00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:33,899 I'M NOT THE ONE WHO CLOGGED THE TOILET IN OUR MEN'S ROOM." 171 00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:35,735 [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] 172 00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:43,509 TACOPINA, TACOPINA. THEN TACOPINA DID WHAT YOU 173 00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:45,544 SHOULD ALWAYS DO WHEN SOMEONE BRINGS RECEIPTS. 174 00:10:45,544 --> 00:10:48,414 TRY TO GRAB THE RECEIPTS. THAT'S NOT ALIVE. 175 00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:54,553 THAT'S NOT A LIE? THAT'S NOT A LIE? 176 00:10:54,553 --> 00:11:00,259 DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS? DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS? 177 00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:02,028 Stephen: WOW! HE TRIED TO GRAB THE EVIDENCE! 178 00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:03,396 I'D LIKE TO SEE THIS GUY IN COURT. 179 00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:06,332 "JUDGE, JUDGE, SHUT UP FOR A SECOND! 180 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:09,568 GIMMIE THAT!" "ENOUGH WITH THE BANG BANG! 181 00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:14,640 AND GIMME THAT, TOO!" "WOW, NOT SO SMART NOW THAT 182 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,510 YOU'RE NAKED! BY THE WAY, NICE PEPPERONI 183 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:23,482 NIPS." [LAUGHTER] 184 00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:31,390 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪ 185 00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:35,494 THEN HE MADE AN ARGUMENT LEGAL SCHOLARS CALL "SUPER KOOKOO." 186 00:11:35,494 --> 00:11:38,564 HERE'S WHY IT'S NOT A LIE BECAUSE IT'S A CONFIDENTIAL 187 00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:41,901 SETTLEMENT. IF YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT, HE'D BE 188 00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:42,968 VIOLATING THE CONFIDENTIAL SETTLEMENT. 189 00:11:42,968 --> 00:11:45,771 IT IS IT THE TRUTH? OF COURSE IT'S NOT THE TRUTH. 190 00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:49,308 HE'D BE IN VIOLATION OF THE AGREEMENT IF HE TOLD THE TRUTH. 191 00:11:49,308 --> 00:11:54,013 Stephen: SO IF I'M FOLLOWING HERE. 192 00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:55,548 A YOU CAN LIE ABOUT COMMITTING ANY 193 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:59,018 CRIME YOU WANT AS LONG AS YOU SIGN AN N.D.A. AFTERWARDS. 194 00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:01,720 "WHERE WERE YOU THE NIGHT OF THE MURDERS?" 195 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,756 "LOOK, OFFICER, IF I COULD TELL YOU THAT I WAS BURYING THOSE 196 00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:06,425 BODIES BEHIND THE DENNYS OUT BY THE AIRPORT, THEN HOSING THE 197 00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:10,096 BLOOD OUT OF MY BUICK LESABRE, I WOULD. 198 00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:11,864 BUT I SIGNED AN N.D.A! MY HANDS ARE TIED-- MUCH LIKE 199 00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:16,302 THE BODIES I BURIED." TURNING TO THE WORLD OF SCIENCE, 200 00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:20,406 METEOROLOGISTS SAY, A GIANT BLOB OF SEAWEED IS HEADING TO 201 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:23,409 FLORIDA. TECHNICALLY, HE JUST GAVE A 202 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:29,048 SPEECH IN IOWA, BUT HE'S HEADING BACK TO FLORIDA. 203 00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:30,616 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 204 00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:34,353 TONIGHT, CARRIE COON FROM THE NEW "BOSTON STRANGLER" MOVIE IS 205 00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:37,690 HERE, BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 206 00:12:37,690 --> 00:13:02,648 VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 207 00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:04,750 ♪ ♪ 208 00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:19,465 Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, 209 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:25,638 WELCOME BACK! GIVE IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO AND 210 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:32,378 THE "THE LATE SHOW" BAND RIGHT THERE! 211 00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:39,385 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IN JUST A FEW MINUTES, CARRIE COON FROM 212 00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:41,587 THE NEW MOVIE "BOSTON STRANGLER" WILL BE HERE TO TALK TO US OVER 213 00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:46,492 THERE, BUT FIRST I'M ON MY FIRST GUEST THIS EVENING IS THE 214 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:47,693 VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. 215 00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:50,529 SHE IS THE FIRST WOMAN, THE FIRST BLACK AMERICAN, AND THE 216 00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:52,665 FIRST SOUTH ASIAN AMERICAN TO HOLD THE OFFICE. 217 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,267 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," VICE PRESIDENT 218 00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:58,437 KAMALA HARRIS. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 219 00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:20,993 ♪ ♪ 220 00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:26,398 THANKS VERY MUCH. HEY, YO! 221 00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:30,336 GLAD TO HAVE YOU. Vice President Harris: 222 00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:34,273 THANK YOU! 223 00:14:34,273 --> 00:14:40,246 THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 224 00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:42,214 Stephen: MADAME VICE PRESIDENT, IT'S AN HONOR TO 225 00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:44,917 HAVE YOU HERE AND THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY AGAIN. 226 00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:47,486 THIS IS YOUR SIXTH VISIT TO "THE LATE SHOW." 227 00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:49,989 Vice President Harris: THIS IS MY SIXTH VISIT LIVE IN 228 00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:52,057 PERSON. Stephen: HERE'S THE THING, 229 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:55,861 THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE INTERVIEWED YOU SINCE YOU GOT 230 00:14:55,861 --> 00:15:01,033 ALL FANCY AND EXECUTIVE BRANCH OVER THERE. 231 00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:02,668 AFTER TWO YEARS AS THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE 232 00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:06,071 UNITED STATES IN THIS HIGH CONSTITUTIONAL OFFICE, HAS IT 233 00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:07,706 SUNK IN AND ARE YOU USED TO WAIT? 234 00:15:07,706 --> 00:15:11,610 IS AT WORK A DAY OR YOU WAKE UP AND DO YOU GO I'M VICE PRESIDENT 235 00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:12,978 OF THE UNITED STATES. Vice President Harris: 236 00:15:12,978 --> 00:15:18,884 HERE'S THE THING, BECAUSE YOU AND I HAVE VISITED BEFORE. 237 00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:20,653 Stephen: ISN'T ACCURATE? Vice President Harris: 238 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:23,989 THERE ARE BITS THAT ARE ACTUALLY QUITE ACCURATE. 239 00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:29,328 LAST WEEK, KNIGHT TM, WE WERE HAVING LONG DAYS AS USUAL 240 00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:33,499 A MEMBER OF MY TEAM DECIDED TO 241 00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:38,504 DO SOMETHING VERY SWEET FOR ME. I WAS OUT OF MY OFFICE IN THE 242 00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:40,706 WEST WING HAVING A MEETING ACROSS THE STREET AND WALKING 243 00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:47,680 BACK TOWARD MY OFFICE AND I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 244 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:52,284 THE WINTER IS ALMOST OVER, IT WAS REALLY COLD TODAY. 245 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:55,688 SO I DECIDED WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MEETING TO LIGHT THE FIRE PLACE. 246 00:15:55,688 --> 00:16:03,862 BUT I FORGOT TO OPEN THE FLU FL. AND SO THE SECRET SERVICE IS 247 00:16:03,862 --> 00:16:06,932 LIKE MA'AM, YOU CANNOT GO BACK TO YOUR OFFICE. 248 00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:10,102 BECAUSE THERE WAS SMOKE EVERYWHERE. 249 00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:12,771 Stephen: A BEAUTIFUL CURE ON THE HAM IN THERE. 250 00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:19,645 Vice President Harris: SO THERE ARE THOSE MOMENTS. 251 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,481 BUT RECENTLY, AN EVENT AT THE WHITE HOUSE, THE FIRST TIME I 252 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:29,154 MET HER AND SHE IS TERRIFIC. Stephen: IN ONE OF THE 253 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:34,626 SCENES OF THE SHOW IS THAT HER CHARACTER IS FRUSTRATED BY THE 254 00:16:34,626 --> 00:16:37,496 SOMETIMES VAGUE DUTIES OF THE ROLE. 255 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:41,867 IT'S A HIGH CONSTITUTIONAL OFFICE BUT NOT DESCRIBE WHAT 256 00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:45,137 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING. DOES THAT RING TRUE AND WHAT'S 257 00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:49,241 THE ACTUAL ROLE ON A DAILY BASIS AS YOU FOUND IT? 258 00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:53,078 I HAVE THE GREAT PRIVILEGE OF SERVING WITH JOE BIDEN WHO 259 00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:57,983 IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. 260 00:16:57,983 --> 00:17:00,119 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] RIGHT. 261 00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:03,188 EXACTLY RIGHT. EXACTLY RIGHT. 262 00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:08,494 WAS VICE PRESIDENT. Stephen: DOES HE UNDER 263 00:17:08,494 --> 00:17:10,095 UNDERSTAND? Vice President Harris: HE 264 00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:12,898 DOES, HE DOES. HE REALLY IS A TRUE PARTNER AND 265 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:15,801 HE UNDERSTANDS THAT JOB. IF WE CAME IN DURING THE HEIGHT 266 00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:19,938 OF THE PANDEMIC. SO MUCH OF THE WORK WAS ABOUT 267 00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:22,007 WE'VE GOT TO COVER A LOT OF BASES AND LET'S FIGURE OUT 268 00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:27,212 BETWEEN US WE CAN DO IT. BUT HE'S AN EXTRAORDINARY LEADER 269 00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:31,150 AND I WISH PEOPLE COULD SEE WHAT I SEE BECAUSE THERE'S ONLY ONE 270 00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:34,720 PERSON WHO SITS BEHIND THAT DE DESK. 271 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,656 THE DECISIONS THAT PERSON HAS TO MAKE ON THE DECISIONS THAT 272 00:17:37,656 --> 00:17:39,858 NOBODY ELSE IN THE COUNTRY CAN MAKE. 273 00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:45,531 HE'S AN EXTRAORDINARY LEADER. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 274 00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:51,403 HE IS. Stephen: THAT'S AN 275 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:56,642 EXCELLENT ANSWER AND THE QUESTION IS, WHAT IS THE JOB OF 276 00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:59,611 THE VICE PRESIDENT? YOUR ANSWER IS PART OF THE JOB 277 00:17:59,611 --> 00:18:01,213 I'M GUESSING. Vice President Harris: YOU 278 00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:04,716 KNOW, MY JOB IS-- FOR EXAMPLE, I WILL TELL YOU. 279 00:18:04,716 --> 00:18:09,254 I WAS RECENTLY IN MUNICH AT THE MUNICH SECURITY CONFERENCE. 280 00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:13,058 THE JOB THERE WAS TO STAND UP AND AS YOU KNOW, MOST OF MY 281 00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:18,430 CAREER HAS BEEN AS A PROSECUTOR. I DECLARE THAT WE COME IN THE 282 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,532 UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, BELIEVED THAT RUSSIA HAS 283 00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:23,702 COMMITTED CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY. 284 00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:26,772 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: WHAT IS THE 285 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:30,242 SIGNIFICANCE-- SORRY TO INTERRUPT, BUT I WAS CURIOUS. 286 00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:34,713 AS SOMEONE WHO WAS A D.A. AND NAG, WHAT'S THE SIGNIFICANCE OF 287 00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:38,484 YOU SAYING THAT IN THAT MOMENT ON THE WORLD STAGE? 288 00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:42,287 Vice President Harris: I THINK THERE'S A GREAT DEAL OF 289 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:45,257 SIGNIFICANCE AND CONTEXTUALIZES MY SPEECH AND STATEMENT IN THAT 290 00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:47,259 WAY. AS A FORMER PROSECUTOR, I 291 00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:51,096 UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE OF REVIEWING AND LOOKING AT THE 292 00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:55,133 EVIDENCE AND COMPARING IT TO THE LAW. 293 00:18:55,133 --> 00:19:01,807 WHEN WE LOOK AT EVIDENCE-- THE U.N. FOR EXAMPLE HAS PRODUCED A 294 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,743 CHILD A GIRL AS YOUNG AS 4-YEAR-OLD ASSAULTED BY A 295 00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:10,249 RUSSIAN SOLDIER. WHEN WE LOOK AT THE IMAGES. 296 00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:14,319 WE ALL SAW OF A PREGNANT WOMAN WHO WAS AT A MATERNITY HOSPITAL 297 00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:19,525 WHO WAS SLAUGHTERED THAT THERE IS NO QUESTION THAT THESE ARE 298 00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:25,531 CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY. WE MUST DECLARE IT AS SO, AND WE 299 00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:28,433 AS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, MUST BE CLEARLY AND FORCEFULLY 300 00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:34,907 ABOUT THE NEED TO MAINTAIN STANDARDS THAT ARE INTERNATIONAL 301 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,643 RULES AND LAWS AROUND BEHAVIOR SUCH AS THAT. 302 00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:41,480 TO ENSURE CONSEQUENCE AND ACCOUNTABILITY. 303 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,416 THAT'S ONE OF MY MOST RECENT ROLES AS VICE PRESIDENT OF THE 304 00:19:44,416 --> 00:19:47,486 UNITED STATES, TO STAND BEFORE OUR ALLIES AND PARTNERS AROUND 305 00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:51,189 THE WORLD IN PARTICULAR IN THE CONTEXT OF OUR TRANSATLANTIC 306 00:19:51,189 --> 00:19:54,493 RELATIONSHIPS AND NOT ONLY STATE OUR POSITION, BUT TO ENCOURAGE 307 00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:58,664 OTHERS TO STAND WITH US AS WE HAVE BEEN DOING SINCE FEBRUARY 308 00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:02,968 THE FOURTH OF LAST YEAR DURING THE-- AND DURING THIS YEAR OF 309 00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:06,271 THIS UNPROVOKED ATTACK. Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MAKE 310 00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:10,275 OF SOMEONE LIKE GOVERNOR DeSANTIS WHO-- WHILE 311 00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:13,478 THERE IS A STRAIN OF ISOLATIONISM THROUGHOUT AMERICAN 312 00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:17,416 HISTORY, IS SAYING IT'S NOT IN AMERICA'S STRATEGIC INTERESTS TO 313 00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:20,819 SIDE WITH THE UKRAINIANS AND OFFER THEM MATERIAL AID THEY 314 00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:25,090 NEED TO DEFEND THEMSELVES AGAINST AN INVADING POWER. 315 00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:26,458 Vice President Harris: AS VICE PRESIDENT, I'VE NOW MET 316 00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:35,167 WITH OVER 100 PRIME MINISTERS, PRESIDENTS, CHANCELLORS. 317 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:41,607 WHEN YOU'VE HAD THE EXPERIENCE OF MEETING AND UNDERSTANDING THE 318 00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:44,376 SIGNIFICANCE, AGAIN, OF INTERNATIONAL RULES AND NORMS, 319 00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:46,979 THE IMPORTANCE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, 320 00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:54,620 STANDING FIRM AND CLEAR ABOUT THE SIGNIFICANCE OF SOVEREIGNTY 321 00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:57,689 AND TERRITORIAL INTEGRITY, THE SIGNIFICANCE I'M STANDING FIRM 322 00:20:57,689 --> 00:21:01,159 AGAINST ANY NATION THAT WE TRIED TO TAKE BY FORCE. 323 00:21:01,159 --> 00:21:07,232 ANOTHER NATION. IF YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND THE 324 00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:12,237 ISSUES, YOU PROBABLY WOULD NOT MAKE STATEMENTS LIKE THAT. 325 00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:16,842 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: SUGGESTING THAT 326 00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:20,145 PERHAPS HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE ISSUES. 327 00:21:20,145 --> 00:21:26,518 WELL, YOU HAVE SAID THAT YOU INTEND TO RUN IN 2024 WITH 328 00:21:26,518 --> 00:21:29,054 PRESIDENT BIDEN. IT IS THAT YOUR WAY OF LETTING 329 00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:31,890 US KNOW THAT HE'S WANTING TO RUN? 330 00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:33,792 Vice President Harris: WE'RE NOT NOT GOING TO MAKE ANY 331 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:36,662 ANNOUNCEMENTS TONIGHT ON THE SHOW. 332 00:21:36,662 --> 00:21:38,897 Stephen: HE WENT IN MIND. Vice President Harris: NO, 333 00:21:38,897 --> 00:21:42,567 HE WOULDN'T MIND AT ALL. Stephen: YOU GETTING OUT IN 334 00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:46,772 FRONT OF IT? I'M SURE PRESIDENT OBAMA FLOATED 335 00:21:46,772 --> 00:21:49,408 A FEW IDEAS HERE AND THERE FOR HIM. 336 00:21:49,408 --> 00:21:52,444 Vice President Harris: OUR JOE BIDEN HAS SAID HE INTENDS TO 337 00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:55,480 RUN AND IF HE DOES, HE'LL BE RUNNING AGAIN. 338 00:21:55,480 --> 00:22:00,218 Stephen: OKAY, SO HE DOES INTEND TO RUN. 339 00:22:00,218 --> 00:22:03,722 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, 340 00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:04,623 BUT WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE AND 341 00:22:04,623 --> 00:22:07,092 VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS, EVERYBODY! 342 00:22:07,092 --> 00:22:09,161 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪ 343 00:22:17,636 --> 00:22:18,336 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 344 00:22:18,336 --> 00:22:23,575 ♪ ♪ Stephen: I WOULD LOVE IT. 345 00:22:23,575 --> 00:22:28,013 HI, EVERYBODY! Vice President Harris: BUT 346 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:31,083 OTHER THAN THAT. Stephen: THAT RIGHT THERE, 347 00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:33,285 THAT'S VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS. 348 00:22:33,285 --> 00:22:35,721 LET'S ASSUME FOR A MOMENT PRESIDENT BIDEN IS GOING TO RUN 349 00:22:35,721 --> 00:22:39,124 AGAIN, WHAT YOU IMAGINE THE NEXT ELECTIONS GOING TO BE ABOUT? 350 00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:42,461 WHAT ARE THE MAJOR ISSUES THAT WILL DEFINE THIS ELECTION? 351 00:22:42,461 --> 00:22:46,364 Vice President Harris: I THINK THERE WILL BE, AS THE 352 00:22:46,364 --> 00:22:49,167 PRESIDENT SAID, ABOUT SEEING IT THROUGH AND BUILDING ON THE 353 00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:51,069 MOMENTUM THAT WE HAVE ACHIEVED THUS FAR. 354 00:22:51,069 --> 00:22:56,408 YOU THINK ABOUT IT, AND ONLY THE LAST TWO YEARS, WE HAVE BY MY 355 00:22:56,408 --> 00:23:03,582 ESTIMATE WITH THE BILLS ON THE LEGISLATION WE HAVE PASSED, WE 356 00:23:03,582 --> 00:23:09,688 ARE PUTTING $1 TRILLION ONTO THE STREETS OF AMERICA AROUND THE 357 00:23:09,688 --> 00:23:12,858 CLIMATE CRISIS, RESILIENCE, ADAPTATION, WHAT WE ARE DOING 358 00:23:12,858 --> 00:23:14,993 AND I KNOW THERE'S A LOT OF STUDENTS HERE. 359 00:23:14,993 --> 00:23:19,998 WHAT WE ARE DOING IN TERMS OF UNDERSTANDING THE IMPORTANCE OF 360 00:23:19,998 --> 00:23:24,803 REDUCING GREENHOUSE GAS EMISSIONS, BUT ALSO THIS VERY 361 00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:28,740 EXCITING MOMENT IN THE WORLD AROUND A NEW ECONOMY, WE ARE 362 00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:31,343 BUILDING A CLEAN ENERGY ECONOMY. WHAT THAT MEANS NOT ONLY IN THE 363 00:23:31,343 --> 00:23:36,815 JOBS THAT WE ARE CREATING AN AMERICAN BASED MANUFACTURING, 364 00:23:36,815 --> 00:23:40,652 BUT WHAT WE ARE RIGHTLY DOING TO PRIORITIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF 365 00:23:40,652 --> 00:23:42,988 CLEAN AIR AND WATER. Stephen: OKAY, WELL, IF 366 00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:48,727 THAT'S THE CASE, THAT'S BEEN OUR PRIORITY FOR THE ADMINISTRATION. 367 00:23:48,727 --> 00:23:52,464 HOW DO YOU SQUARE THAT WITH THE PRESIDENT HAVING SAID THERE WILL 368 00:23:52,464 --> 00:23:56,601 BE NO NEW DRILLING LICENSES ISSUED ON PUBLIC LAND AND THEN 369 00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:59,471 APPROVING THE WILLOW OIL PROJECT IN ALASKA? 370 00:23:59,471 --> 00:24:03,642 PEOPLE SAY THAT'S BREAKING CAMPAIGN PROMISE AND WAS A 371 00:24:03,642 --> 00:24:04,576 CALCULUS THERE? Vice President Harris: I 372 00:24:04,576 --> 00:24:10,182 UNDERSTAND THE CONCERNS BEING MADE. 373 00:24:10,182 --> 00:24:16,755 WHEN YOU LOOK AT WHAT WE'VE MADE, WE ARE PUTTING AMERICA 374 00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:21,393 BACK ON THE GLAM GLOBALLY, RECOGNIZING THAT WE MUST LIVE UP 375 00:24:21,393 --> 00:24:25,363 TO OUR ROLE IN TERMS OF OUR ABILITY TO INVEST IN THE FUTURE, 376 00:24:25,363 --> 00:24:28,633 CREATE JOBS, AND REDUCE GREENHOUSE GAS EMISSIONS. 377 00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:32,204 AGAIN, TRAVELING THE WORLD, THEY ARE WATCHING WHAT WE'RE DOING AS 378 00:24:32,204 --> 00:24:35,207 AN EXAMPLE AND AS A CHALLENGE TO NATIONS AROUND THE WORLD. 379 00:24:35,207 --> 00:24:37,042 WHAT CAN BE DONE TO ADDRESS THIS ISSUE. 380 00:24:37,042 --> 00:24:40,879 I WOULD SAY THAT WE HAVE BEEN QUITE BOLD IN TERMS OF THE 381 00:24:40,879 --> 00:24:42,781 ADVANCES THAT WE ARE MAKING THUS FAR. 382 00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:46,451 WE HAVE MORE TO DO. BUT LOOK FOR EXAMPLE WHAT WE'RE 383 00:24:46,451 --> 00:24:49,521 DOING WITH ELECTRIC VEHICLES. WE PASSED LEGISLATION MEANING 384 00:24:49,521 --> 00:24:54,025 PEOPLE WILL GET REBATES, NOT ONLY IF YOU BUY A NEW ELECTRIC 385 00:24:54,025 --> 00:24:57,062 VEHICLE, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY REBATES ON USED ELECTRIC 386 00:24:57,062 --> 00:25:01,566 VEHICLES. WE ARE INVESTING IN THE 387 00:25:01,566 --> 00:25:05,604 MANUFACTURING OF ELECTRIC SCHOOL BUSES AND PARTNERING WITH 388 00:25:05,604 --> 00:25:12,043 APPRENTICESHIP PROGRAMS THAT ARE TRAINING OUR WORKFORCE TO DO THE 389 00:25:12,043 --> 00:25:14,980 MOST ADVANCED WORK THAT'S BEING DONE. 390 00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:17,182 Stephen: WAS THERE ANY DISCUSSION IN THE WHITE HOUSE 391 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:21,119 ABOUT WHEN THE BLOWBACK WOULD BE FOR APPROVING THE WILLOW OIL 392 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:22,687 PROJECT? BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN QUITE 393 00:25:22,687 --> 00:25:25,223 UPSET ABOUT IT. I THINK THERE'S PROTESTERS 394 00:25:25,223 --> 00:25:26,491 OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. Vice President Harris: I 395 00:25:26,491 --> 00:25:29,828 THINK THE CONCERNS ARE BASED ON WHAT WE SHOULD ALL BE CONCERNED 396 00:25:29,828 --> 00:25:32,430 ABOUT. THE SOLUTIONS HAVE TO BE AND 397 00:25:32,430 --> 00:25:36,167 INCLUDE WHAT WE ARE DOING IN TERMS OF GOING FORWARD AND 398 00:25:36,167 --> 00:25:38,837 INVESTMENTS. Stephen: I'M GOING TO ASK 399 00:25:38,837 --> 00:25:42,807 YOU SOMETHING ABOUT BEING IN THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH. 400 00:25:42,807 --> 00:25:48,413 ARE YOU IN THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH OR ARE YOU IN THE LEGISLATIVE 401 00:25:48,413 --> 00:25:50,382 BRANCH. BECAUSE MIKE PENCE SAID HE WILL 402 00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:54,152 NOT ANSWER THE SUBPOENA GIVEN TO HIM BY THE SPECIAL COUNSEL 403 00:25:54,152 --> 00:25:58,189 LOOKING INTO JANUARY 6TH AND THE DOCUMENTS CASE. 404 00:25:58,189 --> 00:26:01,760 BECAUSE AS THE PRESIDENT OF THE SENATE, HE'S A MEMBER OF THE 405 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,296 LEGISLATURE THEREFORE A SEPARATION OF POWERS. 406 00:26:04,296 --> 00:26:10,435 WHAT'S IT CALLED, THE DEBATE CLAUSE PROTECTS THEM FROM THAT. 407 00:26:10,435 --> 00:26:12,537 SO YOU WILL, VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS, 408 00:26:12,537 --> 00:26:15,974 ARE YOU IN THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH OR ARE YOU IN THE LEGISLATIVE 409 00:26:15,974 --> 00:26:16,975 BRANCH? Vice President Harris: I'M 410 00:26:16,975 --> 00:26:20,412 IN THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 411 00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:23,448 Stephen: LIKE CHECK ONE, YOU GET TO PICK WHEN YOU GO IN 412 00:26:23,448 --> 00:26:25,951 THERE? IS IT LIKE PICK A FISH OR 413 00:26:25,951 --> 00:26:29,354 CHICKEN WHEN YOU GET THE JOB? YOU PICK THE LEGISLATIVE BRANCH? 414 00:26:29,354 --> 00:26:33,525 WITH YOU MAKE OF THAT ARGUMENT? Vice President Harris: I 415 00:26:33,525 --> 00:26:38,330 DON'T MAKE MUCH OF IT. [LAUGHTER] 416 00:26:38,330 --> 00:26:42,233 I THINK-- WELL, LISTEN. IT'S A FACT AS VICE PRESIDENT OF 417 00:26:42,233 --> 00:26:45,203 THE UNITED STATES, I'M ALSO PRESIDENT OF THE SENATE AND 418 00:26:45,203 --> 00:26:47,539 THAT'S BEEN THE CASE FOR EVERYBODY'S PRESIDENT BEFORE ME. 419 00:26:47,539 --> 00:26:53,311 THAT IS A FACT. BUT THIS IS, WITHOUT ANY 420 00:26:53,311 --> 00:26:54,646 QUESTION, THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH OF GOVERNMENT. 421 00:26:54,646 --> 00:26:57,816 Stephen: OKAY, GOOD. WE HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER BRIEF 422 00:26:57,816 --> 00:26:59,651 BREAK, BUT STICK AROUND BECAUSE KAMALA HARRIS WILL BE BACK WHEN 423 00:26:59,651 --> 00:27:03,288 YOU RETURN! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 424 00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:05,357 ♪ ♪ 425 00:27:12,731 --> 00:27:16,067 ♪ ♪ 426 00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:17,502 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: HOLD ON ONE 427 00:27:17,502 --> 00:27:21,639 SECOND, SORRY ABOUT THAT. THIS, YOU RECOGNIZE IS 428 00:27:21,639 --> 00:27:25,076 VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS. NOW AS A FORMER D.A. AND A 429 00:27:25,076 --> 00:27:27,946 FORMER ATTORNEY GENERAL IN THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA, YOU HAVE A 430 00:27:27,946 --> 00:27:30,148 LOT OF EXPERIENCE WITH THE COURTS AND THE EFFECT OF THE 431 00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:36,755 COURTS HAVE OVER LEGISLATIVE LAWS THAT ARE PASSED. 432 00:27:36,755 --> 00:27:39,624 THERE ARE SO MANY LAWS BEING PASSED AROUND THE UNITED STATES 433 00:27:39,624 --> 00:27:41,593 THAT HAVE TO DO WITH REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS. 434 00:27:41,593 --> 00:27:45,163 ARE YOU SURPRISED AT ALL ABOUT THE RAFT OF LAWS THAT WORK 435 00:27:45,163 --> 00:27:49,734 DRAFTED AFTER ROE V. WADE WAS OVERTURNED? 436 00:27:49,734 --> 00:27:51,903 Vice President Harris: I THINK IT'S AT THE HEIGHT OF 437 00:27:51,903 --> 00:28:01,112 IRRESPONSIBILITY AND IN FACT, IN MANY CASES, INHUMANE. 438 00:28:01,112 --> 00:28:03,581 WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING IN STATES AROUND OUR COUNTRY WHO 439 00:28:03,581 --> 00:28:06,584 ARE PASSING LAWS THAT WOULD CRIMINALIZE HEALTH CARE 440 00:28:06,584 --> 00:28:09,320 PROVIDERS LITERALLY PROVIDE FOR JAIL TIME FOR DOCTORS AND NURSES 441 00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:16,461 WHO PROVIDE REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH CARE, THAT WOULD PUNISH 442 00:28:16,461 --> 00:28:20,799 WOMEN FOR SIMPLY SEEKING THE KIND OF CARE THAT THEY CHOOSE 443 00:28:20,799 --> 00:28:24,869 TAT THEY NEED. WE ARE LOOKING AT A SITUATION 444 00:28:24,869 --> 00:28:31,242 WHERE, AGAIN, THERE WOULD BE NO EXCEPTION FOR RAPE OR. 445 00:28:31,242 --> 00:28:33,711 LET'S SPEAK CLEARLY ABOUT WHAT THIS MEANS. 446 00:28:33,711 --> 00:28:38,283 IF AFTER A PERSON HAS GONE THROUGH A MOST VICIOUS VIOLATION 447 00:28:38,283 --> 00:28:44,889 OF THEIR BODY, THEN THE GOVERNMENT WILL TELL THEM AND 448 00:28:44,889 --> 00:28:50,528 AFTER THAT YOU ALSO WILL NOT HAVE AUTONOMY AND BE ABLE TO 449 00:28:50,528 --> 00:28:53,331 MAKE DECISIONS ABOUT YOUR BODY AS IT RELATES TO THE DECISION 450 00:28:53,331 --> 00:28:58,670 YOU MAKE NEXT. AFTER HAVING SURVIVED SUCH A 451 00:28:58,670 --> 00:29:03,108 VIOVIOLATE THOUGH MY VIOLATING . 452 00:29:03,108 --> 00:29:10,281 LET'S BE CLEAR ON THIS ISSUE, ONE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE-- THE 453 00:29:10,281 --> 00:29:15,086 GOVERNMENT SHOULD NOT BE TELLING HER WHAT TO DO WITH OUR BODIES. 454 00:29:15,086 --> 00:29:35,173 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: YOU HAVE A TOUGH 455 00:29:35,173 --> 00:29:39,310 JOB. BEING VICE PRESIDENT REQUIRES A 456 00:29:39,310 --> 00:29:44,616 DEEP LOVE OF THE COUNTRY. I'M JUST CURIOUS, AS SOMEONE 457 00:29:44,616 --> 00:29:47,085 WHO-- JUST RUNNING FOR VICE PRESIDENT OF THE 458 00:29:47,085 --> 00:29:51,489 UNITED STATES WITH PRESIDENT BIDEN, YOU AND THE 459 00:29:51,489 --> 00:29:54,492 PRESIDENT ARE THE PRESIDENT AND VICE PRESIDENT OF THE ENTIRE 460 00:29:54,492 --> 00:29:56,861 COUNTRY AND THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR EVERYBODY. 461 00:29:56,861 --> 00:30:04,235 WHAT IS IT THAT IS-- TO COIN A PHRASE-- GREAT ABOUT AMERICA 462 00:30:04,235 --> 00:30:07,405 AND KINDLES YOUR LOVE FOR IT? Vice President Harris: 463 00:30:07,405 --> 00:30:09,908 THERE IS SO MUCH. THERE IS SO MUCH. 464 00:30:09,908 --> 00:30:13,077 AND YOUR RIGHTS, AND I HAVE THE BLESSING AND PRIVILEGE OF 465 00:30:13,077 --> 00:30:19,450 TRAVELING ALL OVER OUR COUNTRY. IN PARTICULAR, IN THESE YEARS 466 00:30:19,450 --> 00:30:22,520 WHERE WE HAVE WITNESSED SO-CALLED LEADERS ATTEMPTING TO 467 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:32,897 CREATE DIVISION BETWEEN US. I MEET PEOPLE WHO ARE-- PEOPLE 468 00:30:32,897 --> 00:30:36,100 WHO ARE JUST THE MOST OPTIMISTIC ABOUT WHAT IS POSSIBLE, WHO 469 00:30:36,100 --> 00:30:39,270 BELIEVE IN EACH OTHER, WHO UNDERSTAND THAT WE ALL HAVE SO 470 00:30:39,270 --> 00:30:43,641 MUCH MORE IN COMMON THAN WHAT SEPARATES US. 471 00:30:43,641 --> 00:30:47,212 PEOPLE WHO-- WHEN PEOPLE ARE OUT THERE PROTESTING, YOU KNOW 472 00:30:47,212 --> 00:30:49,480 WHAT? GOD LOVE THEM BECAUSE WE HAVE A 473 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:53,918 NATION THAT SAYS WE WILL ALLOW FREEDOM OF SPEECH, FREEDOM OF 474 00:30:53,918 --> 00:30:56,588 ASSOCIATION. FOR THE MOST PART, WE ALL STAND 475 00:30:56,588 --> 00:30:59,557 FOR THAT, EVEN IF WE AGREE TO DISAGREE. 476 00:30:59,557 --> 00:31:05,463 I LOOK AT WHO WE ARE, WE BELIEVE IN FREEDOM AND LIBERTY AS 477 00:31:05,463 --> 00:31:07,599 AMERICANS. AND WE FIGHT FOR IT. 478 00:31:07,599 --> 00:31:13,938 NOW, THERE WILL BE THOSE OF THE EXTREMES, BUT THE VAST MAJORITY 479 00:31:13,938 --> 00:31:18,876 OF US TAKE GREAT PRIDE IN UNDERSTANDING THAT OUR DEMOCRACY 480 00:31:18,876 --> 00:31:22,880 WILL ONLY BE AS STRONG AS OUR WILLINGNESS, EACH ONE OF US, TO 481 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:24,816 FIGHT FOR IT. WHEN I TRAVEL OUR COUNTRY, 482 00:31:24,816 --> 00:31:30,255 THAT'S WHAT I SEE. THAT'S WHAT I SEE. 483 00:31:30,255 --> 00:31:32,890 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: I'M GLAD TO HEAR 484 00:31:32,890 --> 00:31:35,093 IT. Vice President Harris: I 485 00:31:35,093 --> 00:31:36,261 DO. I DO. 486 00:31:36,261 --> 00:31:38,896 Stephen: VICE PRESIDENT HARRIS, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 487 00:31:38,896 --> 00:31:40,798 BEING MY GUEST FOR THE SIXTH TIME. 488 00:31:40,798 --> 00:31:46,537 PLEASE COME AGAIN. VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS, 489 00:31:46,537 --> 00:31:49,274 EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE NEW 490 00:31:49,274 --> 00:31:51,843 STAR OF "BOSTON STRANGLER," CARRIE COON! 491 00:31:51,843 --> 00:31:56,614 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 492 00:32:04,055 --> 00:32:08,660 ♪ ♪ 493 00:32:08,660 --> 00:32:10,628 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, 494 00:32:10,628 --> 00:32:13,031 WELCOME BACK! FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST IS AN ACTOR 495 00:32:13,031 --> 00:32:19,070 YOU KNOW FROM THE LEFTOVERS, AND GHOSTBUSTERS AFTERLIFE, PLEASE 496 00:32:19,070 --> 00:32:21,539 WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," CARRIE COON! 497 00:32:21,539 --> 00:32:34,452 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪ 498 00:32:34,452 --> 00:32:37,855 Carrie: WHAT A NICE WEL WELCOME. 499 00:32:37,855 --> 00:32:38,923 THANK YOU! Stephen: LOVELY TO HAVE 500 00:32:38,923 --> 00:32:41,059 YOU, I DIG THAT SUIT. OF >> Carrie: WHEN YOU'RE ON 501 00:32:41,059 --> 00:32:43,728 WITH THE VP, YOU HAVE TO WEAR A POWER SUIT. 502 00:32:43,728 --> 00:32:48,900 Stephen: HERE'S THE THING, I NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO 503 00:32:48,900 --> 00:32:52,804 INTERVIEW YOU BEFORE, BUT I'M SURE WE KNOW A TON OF PEOPLE IN 504 00:32:52,804 --> 00:32:56,774 COMMON BECAUSE MY SORT OF FORMATIVE ACTING TIME BACK WHEN 505 00:32:56,774 --> 00:33:00,211 I WAS AN ACTOR WAS IN CHICAGO. I WAS THERE FOR 11 YEARS. 506 00:33:00,211 --> 00:33:02,347 Carrie: I KNOW, BEFORE MY TIME. 507 00:33:02,347 --> 00:33:05,183 I'M SO YOUNG. Stephen: WELL, THANK YOU. 508 00:33:05,183 --> 00:33:12,190 THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE-- THANK YOU. 509 00:33:12,190 --> 00:33:15,126 I WAS JUST TELLING THESE PEOPLE. Carrie: I KNOW, I HEARD 510 00:33:15,126 --> 00:33:17,995 THAT PART B PART. Stephen: FIRST PERSON I SAW 511 00:33:17,995 --> 00:33:19,997 ON STAGE. Carrie: EXACTLY, ME TOO, 512 00:33:19,997 --> 00:33:25,436 I'M NOT. THE LAST TIME TJ AND DAVE WERE 513 00:33:25,436 --> 00:33:28,206 IN NEW YORK, TRACY AND MICHAEL SHANNON IMPROVISED WITH THEM, 514 00:33:28,206 --> 00:33:32,910 THE LAST TIME I SAW THEM. Stephen: SO, DID YOU OPEN 515 00:33:32,910 --> 00:33:35,913 CHICAGO OR GROW UP IN CHICAGO? Carrie: I GREW UP OUTSIDE 516 00:33:35,913 --> 00:33:43,087 AKRON, OHIO, USED TO BE WOW BUT NOW IT'S ON THE EDGE. 517 00:33:43,087 --> 00:33:48,893 THEN I WENT TO THE RENOWNED ACTING PROGRAM THAT'S ALSO GONE. 518 00:33:48,893 --> 00:33:53,498 AND NOW THE DIRECTORS I WAS WORKING WITH AT THE OUTDOOR 519 00:33:53,498 --> 00:33:59,437 SHAKESPEARE THEATER. Stephen: LIKE OVER THERE, 520 00:33:59,437 --> 00:34:01,906 TOM IS FROM CHICAGO. WE LOVE CHICAGO HERE. 521 00:34:01,906 --> 00:34:05,610 WHAT IS IT YOU LOVE ABOUT CHICAGO AND WHAT ARE YOUR MOST 522 00:34:05,610 --> 00:34:09,514 FORMATIVE MEMORIES? Carrie: I LOVE THE LAKE AND 523 00:34:09,514 --> 00:34:13,050 I USED TO PLAY SOCCER BY THE LAKE AND THEN JUMPED IN. 524 00:34:13,050 --> 00:34:20,358 VERY IDYLLIC IN THAT WAY. AND ALL THE NORTHWESTERN WAY WHE 525 00:34:20,358 --> 00:34:21,893 WAITRESSES THERE. THEN MY HUSBAND AND I WOULD GO 526 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:26,364 THERE AND HAVE THE CHICKEN FOR $12.95. 527 00:34:26,364 --> 00:34:30,435 Stephen: NICE TONIGHT SPONSOR. 528 00:34:30,435 --> 00:34:36,307 AS YOU SAY, YOUR HUSBAND IS A PRIZE-WINNING ACTOR TRACY LET'S 529 00:34:36,307 --> 00:34:43,047 WHO BY THE WAY I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE SHOW TWICE. 530 00:34:43,047 --> 00:34:46,250 WAS ON MARCH 13TH SHOW THAT WAS CANCELED AND THEN BOOK TO MY GUN 531 00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:52,390 BACK IN THE THEATER AND HE WAS MY GUEST THE NIGHT I GOT COVID. 532 00:34:52,390 --> 00:34:55,893 IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL. HOW DID YOU TWO MEET? 533 00:34:55,893 --> 00:35:03,568 Carrie: IT'S CALLED A SHOW-MANCE. 534 00:35:03,568 --> 00:35:05,636 YUP,-- Stephen: THERE YOU ARE. 535 00:35:05,636 --> 00:35:13,778 Carrie: THAT PLAY ABOUT MARRIAGE. 536 00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:16,314 I WALKED IN THE DOOR AND HE SAID I'M VERY GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 537 00:35:16,314 --> 00:35:20,785 I'M SO GLAD I'M HERE. I THOUGHT WE WERE BEING VERY 538 00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:23,754 SUBTLE ABOUT ALL OF IT BUT THEN AS SOON AS WE TOLD OUR DIRECTOR 539 00:35:23,754 --> 00:35:26,791 AND COSTARS THAT IT WAS ON, THEN IT'S GOING TO BE FULL ON AND 540 00:35:26,791 --> 00:35:29,794 THEY'RE LIKE YEAH, BIG SURPRISE. APPARENTLY THE CHEMISTRY WAS 541 00:35:29,794 --> 00:35:33,698 OBVIOUS FROM THE BEGINNING. Stephen: WONDERFUL THING 542 00:35:33,698 --> 00:35:35,967 ABOUT STAGES ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. 543 00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:38,002 IT'S NOT A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT. 544 00:35:38,002 --> 00:35:39,704 YOU'VE GOT YOUR PREPARATION COME UP WITH THE AUDIENCE CAN CHANGE 545 00:35:39,704 --> 00:35:44,275 THINGS UP. DO YOU HAVE A SCARIEST MOMENT ON 546 00:35:44,275 --> 00:35:46,043 STAGE? Carrie: I MEAN, I DID FALL 547 00:35:46,043 --> 00:35:52,984 FLAT ON MY FACE ONE TIME. THE SCARIEST PART WAS, I DID ONE 548 00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:55,453 OF MY HUSBANDS PLAY BEFORE THE PANDEMIC AND WE BROUGHT THE 549 00:35:55,453 --> 00:35:57,688 PLAYBACK FROM THE PANDEMIC TO OPEN IN THE THEATER BECAUSE IT 550 00:35:57,688 --> 00:36:01,759 WAS READY TO GO. I HAD MY SECOND CHILD SO IT'S 11 551 00:36:01,759 --> 00:36:04,829 WEEKS AFTER I GAVE BIRTH I WAS BACK IN REHEARSALS. 552 00:36:04,829 --> 00:36:09,300 OUT OF MY MIND HERE THAT THERE'S A 10-12 MINUTE SCENE IN THE PLAY 553 00:36:09,300 --> 00:36:12,970 AND SO I WAS JUST PARADING AROUND AS A CHICAGO RITE OF 554 00:36:12,970 --> 00:36:16,007 PASSAGE TO BE NAKED ON STAGE. YOU'VE DONE IT. 555 00:36:16,007 --> 00:36:20,578 Stephen: I HAVE, I WAS 19 THE FIRST TIME I WAS ON STAGE. 556 00:36:20,578 --> 00:36:22,413 Carrie: 19 IS A GREAT AGE TO BE NAKED. 557 00:36:22,413 --> 00:36:27,685 [LAUGHTER] TRY 41 AFTER TWO KIDS. 558 00:36:27,685 --> 00:36:28,920 Stephen: THERE IS NO INTERNET. 559 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:32,156 Carrie: IT'S TRUE, YOU'VE GOT TO BE CAREFUL OF THAT THING. 560 00:36:32,156 --> 00:36:35,226 TRACY SAID IT WAS GOING TO BE LIBERATING AND IT WAS, AND BEING 561 00:36:35,226 --> 00:36:36,827 NAKED WAS THE LEAST OF MY WORRIES. 562 00:36:36,827 --> 00:36:40,798 THE PLAY IS SO HARD TO COME IN THE END OF THE PLAY IS SO HARD 563 00:36:40,798 --> 00:36:43,000 THAT IT BECAME A RELAXING MOMENT. 564 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:46,003 Stephen: WERE YOU A WAITRESS? 565 00:36:46,003 --> 00:36:48,172 Carrie: I'M THE WORST WAITRESS YOU'VE EVER SEEN. 566 00:36:48,172 --> 00:36:51,342 I GOT A WAITRESSING JOB ONCE AND I TOLD THEM THAT THE PLACE IN MY 567 00:36:51,342 --> 00:36:57,882 HOMETOWN THAT I WORKED IN BURNT DOWN AND SO THEY COULD NOT CALL 568 00:36:57,882 --> 00:37:00,518 FOR REFERENCES. St>> Stephen: YOU HAD TO LIEO 569 00:37:00,518 --> 00:37:03,154 YOUR JOB AT BOB EVANS? Carrie: I KNOW, I SHOULDN'T 570 00:37:03,154 --> 00:37:05,590 HAVE DONE THAT. Stephen: I HAD TO FALSIFY 571 00:37:05,590 --> 00:37:08,125 MY PASSPORT TO WORK AT CRACKER BARREL. 572 00:37:08,125 --> 00:37:12,029 Carrie: TERRIBLE. I'M SURE THIS WOMAN SUPPORTING 573 00:37:12,029 --> 00:37:15,633 HER FAMILY, SHE SAID ARE YOU RIGHT-HANDED OR LEFT-HANDED? 574 00:37:15,633 --> 00:37:18,603 I SAID RIGHT HANDED, AND SHE SAID SWITCH YOUR TRADE. 575 00:37:18,603 --> 00:37:21,639 AND I WAS DOING EVERYTHING WRONG. 576 00:37:21,639 --> 00:37:23,941 EVERYTHING WAS BACKWARDS. Stephen: YOU ARE NOW 577 00:37:23,941 --> 00:37:25,543 STARRING IN-- Carrie: YOU'RE A GOOD 578 00:37:25,543 --> 00:37:28,646 WAITER APPEARED >> Stephen: I WAS PRETTY GOOD, IT WAS HARD TO 579 00:37:28,646 --> 00:37:31,082 PUT ME IN THE WEEDS. 580 00:37:31,082 --> 00:37:36,187 Carrie: DID YOU SEE THAT? MAYBE IT WAS CLOSED? 581 00:37:36,187 --> 00:37:38,623 Stephen: YES, BECAUSE YOU'RE SO MUCH YOUNGER THAN I 582 00:37:38,623 --> 00:37:43,394 AM. HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO 583 00:37:43,394 --> 00:37:44,428 SAY THAT? Carrie: ONE MORE, I AM SO 584 00:37:44,428 --> 00:37:46,764 YOUNG. Stephen: THE NEW MOVIE IS 585 00:37:46,764 --> 00:37:52,903 CALLED "BOSTON STRANGLER." DO YOU ENJOY TRUE CRIME? 586 00:37:52,903 --> 00:37:55,506 Carrie: I DO. YES WE ARE ALWAYS AFRAID OF 587 00:37:55,506 --> 00:37:58,843 BEING MURDERED, IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO BE VIGILANT. 588 00:37:58,843 --> 00:38:06,117 Stephen: DO YOU THINK TRUE CRIME KEEPS YOU ON YOUR TOES? 589 00:38:06,117 --> 00:38:08,786 WHAT DID YOU KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING ABOUT THE CASE BEFORE? 590 00:38:08,786 --> 00:38:14,892 Carrie: I KNOW THE TONY CURTIS MOVIE, I KNEW HE WAS THE 591 00:38:14,892 --> 00:38:16,994 KILLER OF ALL OF THE WOMEN. BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE, HE WAS 592 00:38:16,994 --> 00:38:20,164 NEVER CHARGED FOR ANY OF THE MURDERS AND ONLY BEEN CONNECTED 593 00:38:20,164 --> 00:38:24,068 BY DNA EVIDENCE TO ONE OF THE MURDERS SO WE DON'T KNOW IF HE'S 594 00:38:24,068 --> 00:38:27,138 ONE OF THE KILLERS. MOST IMPORTANTLY, I DIDN'T KNOW 595 00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:31,609 THERE'S TWO FEMALE JOURNALIST WHO HELPED BREAK THE STORY AND 596 00:38:31,609 --> 00:38:34,879 WARNED THE WOMEN OF BOSTON THEY MIGHT BE MURDERED. 597 00:38:34,879 --> 00:38:36,147 THEY'VE BEEN COMPLETELY ERASED FROM THE STORY. 598 00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:39,450 IT'S BEEN WHEN WE HAVE A CLIP HERE AND CAN YOU TELL US WHAT'S 599 00:38:39,450 --> 00:38:42,820 HAPPENING IN THE CLIP? Carrie: RIGHT HERE, KEIRA 600 00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:49,326 KNIGHTLEY WAS RECEIVING A LOT OF DEATH THREATS FROM THE CRIME AND 601 00:38:49,326 --> 00:38:57,034 RECEIVED ANOTHER DEATH THREAT. SOMEONE CAME TO THE HOUSE? 602 00:38:57,034 --> 00:39:01,038 PUT IT IN THE MAIL SLOT. JUST ME AND THE KIDS HOME. 603 00:39:01,038 --> 00:39:04,642 DO YOU THINK IT'S A DERANGED COP WAS MAX >> I'M NOT PLEASED 604 00:39:04,642 --> 00:39:09,013 ABOUT IT EITHER WAY 605 00:39:09,013 --> 00:39:20,057 WHERE YOU GOING? I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. 606 00:39:20,057 --> 00:39:23,728 THAT WAS A STUNT. I KNOW YOU WANT TO SELL YOUR 607 00:39:23,728 --> 00:39:26,530 PAPERS, BUT AT WHAT COST? YOU'RE GOING TO GET US ALL 608 00:39:26,530 --> 00:39:33,938 KILLED. TAKE IT OUT! 609 00:39:33,938 --> 00:39:37,908 THEY ARE NOT PUTTING OUR PICTURE IN THE PAPER ANYMORE. 610 00:39:37,908 --> 00:39:41,445 [LAUGHTER] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 611 00:39:41,445 --> 00:39:45,149 Carrie: LOVELY. Stephen: PLEASE COME AGAIN. 612 00:39:45,149 --> 00:39:48,886 SO MUCH MORE TO TALK ABOUT. "BOSTON STRANGLER" PREMIERES 613 00:39:48,886 --> 00:39:51,756 FRIDAY ON HULU. CARRIE COON, EVERYBODY! 614 00:39:51,756 --> 00:39:53,824 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK! ♪ ♪ 615 00:40:10,775 --> 00:40:11,876 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR 616 00:40:11,876 --> 00:40:13,811 "THE LATE SHOW"! STICK AROUND FOR JAMES! 617 00:40:13,811 --> 00:40:15,146 GOOD NIGHT! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 618 00:40:15,146 --> 00:40:17,214 ♪ ♪