ACCORDING TO ERIC, RUPERT MURDOCH MAY HAVE
SEPARATED FROM HIS FIANCEE LESLIE SMITH AFTER SHE SAID
TUCKER CARLSON AS A MESSENGER FROM GOD.
♪ ♪ I AM HERE.
GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO "TUCKER CARLSON TONIGHT."
WHAT IS YOUR MESSAGE? SPEAK OF THE GREEN M&M IS NO
LONGER WEARING SEXY BOOTS, NOW SHE'S WEARING SENSIBLE SNEAKERS.
NICKI MINAJ WAS NOT SWOLLEN, AS FAR AS WE KNOW HE IS FINE.
IT'S NICKI MINAJ'S FRIENDS TESTICLES WHO ARE SWOLLEN.
IS THERE ANYONE ELSE I CAN SPEAK TO?
UNDER TIERNEY, THE METRIC SYSTEM.
WOULD YOU MIND COMING WITH ME FOR A MOMENT?
EVEN MORE BECAUSE JOE BIDEN TALKS LIKE THAT.
I THOUGHT THIS MAN WAS A MESSENGER FROM GOD, TURNS OUT HE
IS JUST SOME DOUCHEBAG! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪ Announcer: FROM "THE LATE
SHOW" STEPHEN COLBERT! TONIGHT WELCOMING NICOLAS CAGE,
AND MUSICAL GUEST CHRISTINE AND THE QUEENS!
FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND.
AND LIVE ON TAPE FROM. SULLIVAN THEATER IN
NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪
Stephen: YEAH, BABY, YEAH! IT'S TRUE!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WATCH OUT. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
HAPPY THURSDAY. HAPPY, HAPPY.
HEY, EVERYBODY! THANKS, HEY!
[CROWD CHANTING "STEPHEN"] ♪ ♪
Stephen: THANK YOU, FOLKS. WELCOME ONE AND ALL, AND HERE
COME OUT THERE! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
TO WHAT THE MINSTRELS CALL "THE LATE SHOW."
I AM YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE IT IS SPRING BREAK, FOR INSTANCE,
PRESIDENT BIDEN IS ON A TOUR OF IRELAND RIGHT NOW BEING SHOWN
AROUND BY HIS COUNTERPARTS IRISH PRESIDENT AND MAGICAL BUSINESS
GNOME MICHAEL D HIGGINS. HIGGINS INVITED JOE BIDEN TO
SPEND THE MORNING AT HIS HOME AND CEMENTED THEIR FRIENDSHIP
WITH A TREEPLANTING CEREMONY. ♪ ♪
WITH A TREEPLANTING CEREMONY.
♪ ♪
Stephen: THAT SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF FANFARE FOR SOMETHING SO
SMALL. [LAUGHTER]
OH, LOOK AT THAT, MY TIE IS CROOKED.
♪ ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHTER] OKAY, I THINK WE GOT ALL OF THE
JUICE OUT OF THAT ONE. BIDEN ALSO BECAME THE FIRST U.S.
PRESIDENT WHO WERE RINGING THE PEACE BELL WHICH COMMEMORATES
THE GOOD FRIDAY AGREEMENT. LOOK AT HIM GO.
[BELLRINGING] ♪ ♪
THIS ONE PER PIECE. Stephen: FOR THE TIMES THE
CHARM! [BELLRINGING.
ONE MORE TO GROW ON. [BELLRINGING]
TO LUCKY NUMBER SEVEN. [BELLRINGING]
JUST COME GET ME WHEN IT'S DINNER TIME, JACK.
POP JOE'S GETTING HIS CLANG ON. BACK STATESIDE, YOU KNOW THAT
GIANT LEAK OF CLASSIFIED PENTAGON INFORMATION ABOUT THE
WAR IN UKRAINE AND A LOT OF OTHER STUFF THAT'S BEEN ALL OVER
THE INTERNET THIS WEEK? WELL, THIS AFTERNOON THEY CAUGHT
THE LEAKER. IT'S 21-YEAR-OLD NATIONAL
GUARDSMEN JACK TEIXEIRA, SEEN HERE ARE NOT READY WHAT COMES
NEXT. TEIXEIRA WAS TAKEN INTO CUSTODY
IN MASSACHUSETTS, WHERE JUST MOMENTS BEFORE HE WAS SEEN
READING A BOOK ON HIS PORCH. THAT BOOK "SOLITARY CONFINEMENT
FOR DUMMIES." FOR TAKING THESE CLASSIFIED
DOCUMENTS HOME TO SHARE A TEIXEIRA COULD FACE CHARGES
UNDER THE ESPIONAGE ACT AND COULD GET UP TO TEN YEARS IN
PRISON PER DOCUMENT, UNLESS HE'S DECLASSIFIED THEM WITH HIS MIND.
YOU CAN TAKE ANYTHING HOME. THE FEDS MAY HAVE BEEN TIPPED
OFF BY A STORY IN TODAY'S "WASHINGTON POST," REPORTERS
TRACKED DOWN A VIDEO GAME CHAT PLATFORM USED BY TEIXEIRA AND
INTERVIEWED AN ANONYMOUS MEMBER OF THE GROUP WHO SAID HE KNEW
THE LEAKER'S REAL NAME, THE STATE WHERE HE LIVES, AND THAT
HE WENT BY THE NICKNAME OG, WHICH STANDS FOR O-GEE SUS, I
SHOULD NOT HAVE TOLD THAT GUY MY REAL NAME AND THE STATE WHERE I
LIVE." THE INFORMANT DESCRIBED AS
TEIXEIRA A CHARACTERISTIC GUN ENTHUSIAST WHO WHILE SEARCHING
FOR COMPANIONSHIP AMID THE ISOLATION OF THE PANDEMIC SHARED
HIGHLY CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS. PROVING THAT MEN WILL TALK ABOUT
LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE BEFORE SHARING A SINGLE EMOTION.
NO SURPRISE HE ALSO MADE A VIDEO IN WHICH HE STANDS AT A SHOOTING
RANGE WHERE HE YELLS A SERIES OF RACIAL SLURS.
ALSO BLURRED HIS FACE AND BACK LEAD HIM TO HIDE HIS IDENTITY.
BUT WE HAVE OBTAINED AN EXCLUSIVE CLIP WHICH MAY CONTAIN
A FEW CLUES. HE DID SEE THE LEADER OF THIS
GROUP. AND ULTIMATELY HE WAS.
BRANDON, DINNER, IT'S TIME FOR DINNER, BRANDON.
MOM, DON'T SAY MY NAME, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ANONYMOUS.
BRANDON, NOAH, JOHNSON, YOU GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: BRANDON NOAH
JOHNSON, OKAY, WE CHECK THAT OUT.
OF COURSE THE FACT THAT THIS STUFF WAS SITTING AROUND ON A
VIDEO GAME CHAT IS STILL EMBARRASSING FOR OUR
INTELLIGENCE SERVICES AND THEY HAVE ANNOUNCED THAT THEY MAY
CHANGE HOW THEY MONITOR SOCIAL MEDIA AND CHAT ROOMS.
SO GAMERS, KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED FOR A POST LIKE THIS "HEY OTHER
GAME-TEENS. WHERE'D YOU EAT THOSE DOPE
CLASSIFIED DOCS? YOU CAN TELL ME, A FELLOW YOUTH.
I HATE PARENTS, NO FAMILY CLOSED."
OVER AND FOX NEWS TODAY THEY BEGAN JURY SELECTION AND DEMANDS
$1.6 BILLION DEFINITION SUIT AGAINST FOX.
IN THE TRIAL IS GOING TO BE INTRUSIVE.
FOR INSTANCE THE JUDGE HAS RULED THAT DOMINION CAN COMPEL
TESTIMONY FROM THE NEWS PRSONALITIES TUCKER CARLSON,
SEAN HANNITY, AND JANINE PIRRO, AND TO MAKE SURE JANINE PIRRO
TELLS THE TRUTH, THEY ARE SWEARING HER IN ON A BOX OF WI
WINE. OH, I LOVE A NICE BOX!
THE EXCITEMENT IS ALREADY BEGUN, YESTERDAY THE JUDGE SANCTIONED
FOX FOR WITHHOLDING EVIDENCE AND APPOINTED A SO-CALLED "SPECIAL
MASTER" TO INVESTIGATE WHETHER FOX PREVIOUSLY MADE ASSERTIONS
TO THE COURT THERE WERE UNTRUE OR NEGLIGENT, SO THE JOB IS TO
FIGURE OUT WHETHER FOX NEWS LI LIES?
[LAUGHTER] HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
AM I A SPECIAL MASTER? [LAUGHTER]
DO I GET A SASH? WHERE'S THE FANFARE?
♪ ♪ [LAUGHTER]
LET'S GET TO THE WITHHOLDING AND/OR LIES.
TURNS OUT FOX'S ALSO BEING SUED BY ONE OF THEIR FORMER PRODUCERS
AND THAT PRODUCER'S LAWYER RELEASED THIS BOMBSHELL.
THERE ARE SECRET FOX AUDIO RECORDINGS OF RUDY GIULIANI AND
OTHER ALLIES OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT.
AND THIS JUDGE IS PISSED, BECAUSE FOX HAD THESE TAPES AND
NEVER TURN THEM OVER, JUST ASK FOX NEWS HOST AND REAL HOUSEWIFE
OF NUREMBERG MARIA BARTIROMO. BEFORE GOING ON AIR WITH HIM,
SHE GRILLED RUDY WHETHER HE HAD ANY PROOF TO BACK UP HIS CLAIMS
ABOUT DOMINION. AS MUCH EVIDENCE AS YOU CAN
TELL US ABOUT THE LAWSUIT, WHATEVER YOU CAN TELL US IN
TERMS OF THAT INTERVIEW WOULD BE HELPFUL.
OKAY, GREAT. I WILL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT
WE HAVE. JUST GIVE ME AT, DOES
NANCY PELOSI HAVE AN INTEREST IN IT?
YES, I HAVE READ THAT. I CAN'T PROVE THAT.
Stephen: I HAVE READ IT, BUT I CAN'T PROVE IT.
BUT THIS BOTTLE CAN PROVE IT. IT SAYS ON THE LABEL...
80 PROOF! SO NOW FOX NEWS EMPLOYEE MARIA
BARTIROMO KNOWS THERE IS NO PROOF THAT NANCY PELOSI WAS ON
DOMINION'S PAYROLL. SO IF SHE IMPLIED OTHERWISE IT
MIGHT PUT HER OR FOX IN LEGAL JEOPARDY.
LET'S GO TO THE TAPE. I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT THESE
ALGORITHMS AND DOMINION SOFTWARE.
I UNDERSTAND NANCY PELOSI HAS AN INTEREST IN THIS COMPANY?
[BELLRINGING] Stephen: MARIA BARTIROMO
SAID THE PHRASE THAT PAYS. JOHNNY, TELL THEM WHAT TO
DOMINION HAS ONE. $1.6 BILLION AND A DINETTE
SET FROM GLORY HILL, ROY HELLO, SUCK IT, GROUPIE, YOU REAP WHAT
YOU SOW YOU WRINKLY DEMON SCROTUM.
BACK TO YOU. Stephen: THANK YOU, JOHNNY.
THE JUDGE WAS ALSO UPSET THAT AFTER FOX'S LAWYERS CLAIM THAT
RUPERT MURDOCH HAD NO OFFICIAL POSITION AT FOX NEWS, IT TURNS
OUT HE ACTUALLY DOES. AND IT DOESN'T LOOK HE IS GIVING
UP CONTROL SOON, BECAUSE REPORTEDLY ASSIDUOUSLY AVOIDS
ANY DISCUSSION OF A FUTURE IN WHICH HE ISN'T IN COMMAND OF THE
MEDIA EMPIRE, AND REMINDS PEOPLE THAT HIS MOTHER LIVED TILL 103.
AND HE CANNOT MAKE IT TILL 103. BECAUSE JUST LIKE A FINE WINE,
THE OLDER HE GETS, THE MORE THE WEIRD SENTIMENT BEGINS TO
COLLECT. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
IT'S NOT JUST HIS WORK LIFE THAT IS GOING DOWN THE RUPE-TUBE.
RUPERT MURDOCH CALLED OFF HIS ENGAGEMENT TO A FORMER DENTAL
HYGIENIST AND LESLIE SMITH JUST TWO WEEKS AFTER ANNOUNCING IT.
I KNOW, THAT'S SO SAD. BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE...
LADIES, HE'S BACK ON THE MARKET! HELLO.
PUT ON YOUR FLIRTING SHOES, AND GET GOOD AT TELLING WHETHER
SOMETHING IS A LIVER SPOT OR A LESION.
[LAUGHTER] YES, IS THAT--
IS THAT? IS THAT A SKIN TAG IT, OR YOU
JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME? WOW.
IT'S A FUN IMAGE. SHE MAY NOT BE MISSING OUT ON
MUCH, BECAUSE APPARENTLY RUPERT IS NOT THE GREATEST HUSBAND,
CASE IN POINT, A YEAR AGO HE WOKE BROKE UP WITH HIS WIFE
SAYING "ENDING ALL MARRIAGE, WE HAVE HAD SOME GOOD TIMES, BUT I
HAVE MUCH TO DO. MY NEW YORK LAWYER WILL BE
CONTACTING YOURS IMMEDIATELY" ADDING, "USE DISCOUNT CODE
SPLITS PILFERED 10% OFF OF DIVORCE ATTORNEY."
THERE IS NEWS FROM BASEBALL, AMERICA'S PASTIME.
THE MLB INTRODUCED A PITCH CLOCK AND IT IS WORKING, BECAUSE
AVERAGE GAME TIME IS DOWN 31 MINUTES ON TRACK TO BE THE
LOWEST SINCE 1984. YEAH, MAN.
YES. OF COURSE IN 1984 PLAYERS SPED
UP THE GAME WITH AN INNOVATION KNOWN AS PILES OF COKE IN THE
DUGOUT. BUT THE PITCH CLOCK HAS HURT ONE
OF BASEBALL'S MOST IMPORTANT TRADITIONS, AND THAT'S DRINKING.
BECAUSE SHORTER INNINGS MEANS THAT TEAMS HAVE LESS TIME TO
SELL BEER GAMES. WHAT?
IF I CAN'T HAVE THREE $12 BEERS, HOW AM I GOING TO BE DRUNK
ENOUGH TO BUY T TWO $15 HOT DOG? WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT. MY GUEST IS NICOLAS CAGE!
YES, THAT ONE. AND WHEN WE COME BACK, I TALK
SCIENCE! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
Stephen: GIVE IT UP FOR "THE LATE SHOW" BAND WITH
MR. LEWIS KATO UP FRONT THEY'RE MY GOODNESS!
RIGHT HERE AND HOLD THAT MAGIC TICKET.
THIS IS THE MAGIC TICKET RIGHT HERE, BECAUSE THIS IS THE THING.
THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS I WILL ASK HIM JUST A LITTLE WHILE OF
THE ONE AND ONLY NICOLAS CAGE THAT IS GOING TO BE RIGHT HERE!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] FOLKS, I LOVE SCIENCE.
IT HAS GIVEN US SO MANY EXPERIMENTAL DISCOVERIES.
PENICILLIN, ELECTRICITY, FROOT WITH TWO Os.
THEY SYNTHESIZED IT IN THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER.
AND I LIKE TO BRING YOU ALL OF THE LATEST SCIENCE NEWS AND MY
LONG-RUNNING SEGMENT, THE SOUND OF SCIENCE.
♪ HELLO SCIENCE MILD FRIEND ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
PEOPLE LOVE IT! PEOPLE LOVE IT!
FIRST UP, NEW RESEARCH SUGGESTS THAT THE EARTH'S CORE SEEMS TO
BE SURROUNDED BY AN ENIGMATIC LAYER BETWEEN THE EARTH'S SOLID
MANTLE AND ITS SCORCHING HOT LIQUID OUTER CORE.
A REASON SEISMOLOGISTS REFERRED TO AS THE FIRST BITE OF FRENCH
ONION SOUP. [LAUGHTER]
THE NEW RESEARCH SUGGESTS THAT PREVIOUSLY WE HAVE THOUGHT OF
THE AREA AROUND THE EARTH'S CORE AS SIMPLE NESTED LAYERS, BUT THE
ZONE IS MORE OF THE GEOLOGICAL ASPECT BEING DESCRIBED AS "HOT
ROCKY JELL-O." OR IS IT IS KNOWN IN THE
MIDWEST, "SALAD." [LAUGHTER]
NEXT UP-- SURE, WHY NOT. NEXT UP, ACCORDING TO NEW
RESEARCH, STRESSED PLANTS MAKE ULTRASONIC CLICKING NOISES WHICH
RESEARCHERS RECORDED BY PUTTING MICROPHONES NEXT TO LIVING
PLANTS. WORST PODCAST EVER.
[LAUGHTER] THE RESEARCHERS FOUND THAT
PLANTS AND MEANT A SOUND WHEN THEY BECOME DEHYDRATED OR
INFECTED OR WHEN THEY ARE CUT. SO THE NEXT TIME YOU MOW THE
LAWN IF YOU HEAR A MILLION TINY SCREAMS, THAT'S JUST THE GRASS
BEGGING FOR MERCY AS YOU DISMEMBER IT.
AND IF YOU HEAR ONE BIG SCREAM, THAT'S JUST YOU COPING WITH THE
REALITY THAT YOU KNOW THIS NOW. [LAUGHTER]
NEXT UP, ACCORDING TO NEW DATA, AFTER A LITTLE BECAUSE OF COVID
IN RECENT MONTHS, SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS
HAVE SPIKED SIGNIFICANTLY ACROSS THE BIG APPLE.
WELL, IT'S JUST LIKE SINATRA'S FAMOUS SONG--
♪ START SPREADING THE GONORRHEA ♪
IN ORDER TO STOP THE SPREAD, THE CITY'S INCREASING TESTING BY
REPURCHASING LAB EQUIPMENT USED FOR COVID TESTS.
THAT'S FINE AS LONG AS THEY DON'T ALSO REPURPOSE THE TESTING
SITES. [LAUGHTER]
WOW. [APPLAUSE]
FOUND THE LINE. NEXT UP, ACCORDING TO NEW
RESEARCH "DRUNK MY SOBER UP TWICE AS FAST WHEN GIVEN A
HORMONE INJECTION." OH, THANK GOD.
STUART LITTLE CAN'T AFFORD ANOTHER DUI.
NEXT UP, SCIENTISTS HAVE DISCOVERED A LEAK IN THE BOTTOM
OF THE OCEAN OF LOW SALINITY MINERAL RICH SPRING WATER THAT
ACTS AS SORT OF A TECTONIC LUKE LUBRICANT.
TECTONIC LUBRICANT IS ALSO SO MUCH BETTER THAN KY JELLY FISH.
ACCORDING TO THE RESEARCHERS THE FLUID IS COMING STRAIGHT FROM
SOMETHING CALLED THE CASCADIA MEGA THRUST.
TECTONIC LUBE, MEGA THRUST, DOESN'T MATTER IF WE POLLUTE THE
OCEAN? IT'S ALREADY SO DIRTY.
NEXT UP THERE IS SOME BIG PALEONTOLOGY NEWS, BECAUSE
TYRANNOSAURUS REX HAD LIPS, A NEW STUDY SUGGESTS.
FINALLY HE EXPLAINS ALL OF THOSE T-REX SKELETONS FOUND BURIED
WITH THE TRUMPET. [LAUGHTER]
THAT'S FOR YOU, BABY. THAT'S FOR YOU.
NEXT UP, SCIENTISTS TRIED MAGIC TRICKS ON MONKEYS AND DISCOVERED
THAT THE SLEIGHT-OF-HAND TO MOVE BEING DEMONSTRATED HERE WAS MORE
LIKELY TO FOOL THEM IF THE MONKEY HAD OPPOSABLE THUMBS.
THIS IS SURE TO BE A BIG HIT AT THE UPCOMING INTERNATIONAL
SCIENTIFIC SYMPOSIUM OF STUFF WE DID INSTEAD OF CURING CANCER.
OH, AT 2:00 P.M., HOW TO IMPRESS WORMS WITH JUGGLING.
[LAUGHTER] NEXT UP, A LUMP OF BROWN FUR ARE
FOUND DEEP IN THE YUKON TERRITORY HAS BEEN
IDENTIFIED AS A 30,000 YEAR OLD SQUIRREL.
WOW, THAT'S QUITE A TURN FOR SCRAT.
BUT I AM EXCITED FOR THE NEW "ICE AGE 8, I THOUGHT THERE
WOULD BE MORE DIGNITY IN DEATH." UNTIL NEXT TIME THIS HAS BEEN...
♪ THE SOUND OF SCIENCE ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH NICOLAS CAGE!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW"
ALREADY IN PROGRESS. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY GUEST
TONIGHT IS AN ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING ACTOR WHO HAS BEEN
IN SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES. NOW STARRING IN THE NEW FILM
"RENFIELD," PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW" NICOLAS CAGE!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Nicolas: THANK YOU!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: YES!
Nicolas: WELL, FIRST OF ALL IT'S REMARKABLE TO ME THAT THIS
IS THE FIRST TIME WE ARE MEETING.
Stephen: I'VE LOOKED FORWARD FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
VERY EXCITED YOU ARE COMING ON. Nicolas: AND IT'S BEEN OVER
TEN YEARS SINCE I HAVE BEEN IN. SULLIVAN THEATER WITH DAVID
LETTERMAN COMING I'VE DONE SOME AMAZING THINGS!
SPILLING A COUPLE OF COATS OF PAINT.
Nicolas: IT'S ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.
Stephen: IT IS VERY EXCITING TO HAVE YOU,
NICOLAS CAGE, I AM A NICOLAS CAGE FAN, AND THERE YOU
ARE, NICOLAS CAGE RIGHT THERE. Nicolas: IT'S JUST ME.
IT'S BEEN ON BUT IF YOU WANT THAT NICOLAS CAGE FEELING, YOU
CAN DO BETTER THAN NICOLAS CAGE. YOU HAVE BEEN IN SO MANY MOVIES,
EVERYONE HAS THEIR FAVORITES, OBVIOUSLY I AM A "NATIONAL
TREASURE" MAN. "RAISING ARIZONA" "LEAVING
LAS VEGAS" "VALLEY GIRL." Nicolas: I WAS 17 YEARS
OLD. IT'S BEEN ON MY HIGH SCHOOL
GIRLFRIEND HAD A CRUSH ON YOU AND I'M STILL A LITTLE MAD ABOUT
THAT. WHAT ARE NICK CAGE TOP FIVE NICK
CAGE FILMS? Nicolas: I WILL START WITH
"PIG." I LOVE "MANDY."
I LOVE "BRINGING OUT THE DEAD" MARTIN SCORSESE DIRECTED.
SO I LOVED "BAD LIEUTENANT" I LOVED A MOVIE CALLED "JOE" THAT
DAVE AND GREANEY DIRECTED. Stephen: ALL RIGHT, THERE
YOU GO. I GO FACE-OFF.
Nicolas: I LIKE THAT ONE A LOT.
I LOVE "FACE-OFF." Stephen: IT LOOKED LIKE IT
WAS A LOT OF FUN TO MAKE WHILE YOU WERE MAKING IT.
Nicolas: WHAT WAS INTERESTING ABOUT "FACE-OFF" AND
IT COULD HAVE MENTIONED "VAMPIRE'S KISS" WHICH IS WHAT I
MADE WHEN I WAS ABLE TO EXPLORE MY ABSTRACT DREAMS WITH FILM
PERFORMANCE. I WAS PLAYING A CHARACTER LOSING
HIS MIND BUT BEGINNING TO THINK THAT HE WAS THE VAMPIRE FROM THE
ORIGINAL "NOTES NOSFORATU" MOVIE.
SO I GOT TO ACT LIKE A FRENCH FILM STAR, WHICH WAS COOL.
BUT "FACE-OFF" WAS A BIG MOVIE I MADE AT PARAMOUNT AND I WAS ABLE
TO USE WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS LITTLE "VAMPIRES KISS" MOVIE AND
IT WORKED. AND PEOPLE DIG IT.
SO I WAS HAPPY WITH THOSE RESULTS.
Stephen: YOU MADE HEADLINES, SOMETIMES, I THINK IT
MIGHT'VE BEEN DURING COVID, YOU SAID YOU PREFERRED THE WORD
"THESPIAN" TO THE WORD "ACTOR." AND I'M CURIOUS WHY YOU BEING IS
APPEALING TO YOU? [LAUGHTER]
THAT'S WHY I SAY COLBERT. Nicolas: THAT IS A GREAT
THING THAT YOU BROUGHT THAT UP. WHAT I WAS SAYING WAS OF COURSE
YOU CAN CALL ME AN ACTOR. AND BY THE WAY, I NEVER SAID
DON'T CALL ME AN ACTOR, CALL ME A THESPIAN.
THAT'S WHAT CLICKBAIT DID, AND SOMEHOW IT GOT PICKED UP BY CNN.
I'M NOT SURE HOW IT GOT PICKED UP BY CNN, SURE THAT THEY HAVE
MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO REPORT ON.
BUT I SEE ACTING AS STORYTELLING.
AND WHAT IT IS IS TRYING TO GET TO THE TRUTH OF A CHARACTER.
IN THE FIRST ACTOR IN EUROPE WAS SOMEONE CALLED THESPIS.
AND HE BROKE FREE FROM THE COURSE AND STARTED NARRATING AND
TELLING A STORY TRUTHFULLY. SO I THINK ACTING IS FINDING THE
TRUTH OF A STORY. WHAT IS INTERESTING IS ACTOR IN
GREEK MEANS HYPOCRITE. I DON'T WANT TO BE THOUGHT OF AS
A HYPOCRITE. I'M SORRY IF THAT SOUNDS
PRETENTIOUS. [LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT
YOUR NEXT MOVIE, WHICH IS EXTREMELY ENJOYABLE, THE NEW
MOVIE IS CALLED "RENFIELD," STARRING YOU, NICHOLAS HOULT,
AWKWAFINA, AND BEN SCHWARTZ. IT'S FUNNY, IT'S HORRIFYING.
YOU ARE DRACULA. WHAT IS THE PREMISE?
Nicolas: WELL THE PREMISE IS A UNIQUE ONE AND IT'S A VERY
GOOD WHEN I THINK, VERY RELEVANT AND CURRENT, AND NICHOLAS HOULT
PLAYS RENFIELD, AND IT'S HIS MOVIE.
Stephen: FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T REMEMBER, RENFIELD--
Nicolas: HE WAS PLAYED BY DWIGHT FRY BEAUTIFULLY FROM THE
UNIVERSAL STUDIOS "DRACULA." Stephen: HE IS LIKE A MAN
SERVANT TO DRACULA. Nicolas: IN THIS MOVIE
RENFIELD IS THE STAR AND HE IS TRYING TO ESCAPE FROM A TOXIC
RELATIONSHIP, A CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP.
HE IS TRYING TO FREE HIMSELF FROM THAT.
AND DRACULA WANT TO LET HIM. Stephen: WHO IS A
NARCISSIST. Nicolas: A SOCIOPATHIC KING
OF BAIT AND SWITCH TACTIC, I'M SURE THEY HAD A LOT OF FUN
TOGETHER MAYBE 200 YEARS AGO ON THE ROAD AS ROGUES.
Stephen: BUT THE SPARK IS GONE.
Nicolas: NOW THE RELATIONSHIP HAS TURNED SOUR.
AND RENFIELD ONCE OUT TO. AND HE REALIZES THE ERROR OF HIS
WAYS. AND I DON'T WANT TO LET HIM OUT.
BECAUSE TO ME DRACULA FROM MY VIEW, THE REASON WHY DRACULA IS
SO COMPELLING AS A CHARACTER IS STILL ABOUT THE HUMAN
EXPERIENCE. THIS ADDICTION TO BLOOD.
WELL, YOU CAN SUPPLY THAT WITH ALCOHOL, HEROIN, SEX, AND THAT'S
A HUMAN ISSUE. OR THIS CURSE HE HAS.
ETERNAL LIFE, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS HE IS GOING TO GET HIS HEART BROKEN OVER AND OVER AGAIN
FOREVER. SO HE IS VERY PAINED BY THAT.
SO IN THIS CLIP YOU WILL SEE LATER WHEN RENFIELD ONCE TO
LEAVE, IT'S A BETRAYAL TO DRACULA AND IS VERY HURT BY IT.
Nicolas: BECAUSE RENFIELD GOES INTO GROUP THERAPY.
Nicolas: HE GOES INTO A CODEPENDENT GROUP THERAPY.
Stephen: HE DOES. Nicolas: BUT THAT WAS THE
TRICKY BALANCE, BECAUSE IT IS ACTUALLY NOT A FUNNY SUBJECT
MATTER, IT'S A SERIOUS SUBJECT MATTER.
SO WE HAD TO FIND A WAY TO PLAY IT AND GIVE GENUINE REGARD FOR
THE SERIOUS SITUATION AND TAP DANCE AROUND IT TO FIND WHERE WE
COULD MIND THE HUMOR. Stephen: THE HUMOR AND THE
MULTIPLE DECAPITATIONS. IT'S A HORROR MOVIE TOO, LET'S
NOT FORGET. Nicolas: ONE OF MY FAVORITE
TONES AND FILMMAKING IS THIS BLEND, YOU WOULD NOT THINK THAT
HORROR AND COMEDY GO SO BEAUTIFULLY TOGETHER.
BUT "AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON" HER DELICIOUS.
I WAS WATCHING IT AND I WAS LIKE I'M LAUGHING AND I'M REALLY
SCARED. IT SLAPS YOU AROUND.
I'M LIKE THIS IS GREAT FILMMAKING.
AND THAT'S THE BULL'S-EYE WE WERE TRYING TO HIT WITH
"RENFIELD." Stephen: HERE IS ONE OF THE
BULL'S-EYES RIGHT HERE. JIM.
♪ ♪ WOULD YOU LIKE TO INTRODUCE
YOURSELF TO THE GROUP? I AM THE PRINCE OF MALAYSIA.
SOME CALL ME THE DARK ONE. OTHERS THE LORD OF DEATH.
HOWEVER, TO MOST I AM KNOWN SIMPLY AS--
RENFIELD'S BOSS. ♪ ♪
I AM DRACULA. OKAY, OBVIOUSLY WE ARE
DEALING WITH A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN NARCISSISM HERE.
[LAUGHTER] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT DON'T GO
ANYWHERE. WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
NICOLAS CAGE, EVERYBODY! STICK AROUND!
Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WE
ARE BACK HERE WITH THE STAR OF THE NEW FILM "RENFIELD," IT'S
NICOLAS CAGE, EVERYBODY, HOW DO YOU APPROACH PORTRAYING DRACULA?
YOU HAVE DONE A LOT OF PARTS OVER 100 MOVIES, BUT THIS IS SO
ICONIC AND I'M SURE SO MANY PEOPLE PLAY THE PART BEFORE, HOW
DID YOU AVOID THOSE ROLES OR HOW DID YOU DRAW INSPIRATION?
>>> Nicolas: WELL, WHAT I DID AS A STARTING POINT WAS TO LOOK
AT MY FAVORITE INTERPRETATION AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE WAS
CHRISTOPHER LEE IN THE HAMMER HORROR FILMS, I THOUGHT HE
LOOKED GREAT WITH THE '60s HAIRDO, HE BROUGHT THE
FEROCIOUSNESS TO THE CHARACTER, I LOVE WHAT OLD MEN DID, AND SO
THERE WAS A LOT TO LOOK AT. BUT I ALSO WANTED TO FIND
INFLUENCES THAT WERE MORE CLOSE TO ME.
AND I THINK THE BIGGEST INFLUENCE BECAUSE MY FATHER
AUGUST, HE LIKED TO SPEAK WITH THIS MID-ATLANTIC ACCENT.
I WAS CHANNELING HIM AND "VAMPIRES KISS."
YOU KNOW, NICOLAS LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU.
IT IS TO BE HOW YOUR FATHER WOULD TALK?
Nicolas: HE SAID I WANT TO SPEAK WITH THE DISTINCTION
BECAUSE HE IS A LITERATURE PROFESSOR.
BUT I NEVER COULD UNDERSTAND-- Stephen: HE WAS AN ACTOR
HIMSELF? Nicolas: I GUESS HE WAS
SPEAKING WITH DISTINCTION BECAUSE HE WAS TEACHING ABOUT
GREAT LITERATURE, SO WHAT WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO?
SO HE WAS A BIG INFLUENCE, AND THEN THE OTHER INFLUENCE WAS AN
BANKROLL FROM "TO THE GRADUATES. HER PERFORMANCE AS
MRS. ROBINSON, I THOUGHT WAS A VERY TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH
DUSTIN HOFFMAN, AND THE WAY THAT SHE SPOKE.
IT DOESN'T HE LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF GUY WHO HAS TO FIGHT THEM
OFF. YES, HE DOES.
THAT'S DRACULA. Stephen: YOU ARE TRYING TO
SEDUCE ME. Nicolas: THAT'S RIGHT.
I HAD NOT THOUGHT OF IT. DO YOU WANT ME TO SEDUCE YOU?
[LAUGHTER] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Stephen: HE HAS SOME GREAT CLOTHES.
DID YOU EVER KEEP THE STUFF THAT YOU WEAR?
DO YOU EVER KEEP THE STUFF FROM SET?
Nicolas: I CAME INTO "WILD AT HEART" WITH THIS SNAKESKIN
JACKET I FOUND AT A SECONDHAND STORE.
Stephen: YOU SOURCE TO THAT?
Nicolas: I SOURCED IT. I SAID I DON'T KNOW WHERE, BUT I
WILL WEAR IT IN A MOVIE AT SOME POINT.
AND I SAID TO DAVID LYNCH I WANT TO HAVE KIND OF A MARLON BRANDO
IN "THE FUGITIVE" LOOK, SO I WENT TO WHERE THE SNAKESKIN
JACKET, SO IS THAT I LOVED IT, NEXT HER.
THAT SOLID GOLD, BUDDY. AND HE WOULD WRITE THIS IS A
SYMBOL OF MY INDIVIDUALITY AND BELIEF IN PERSONAL FREEDOM, SO I
WANT TO BRIN ELVIS PRESLEY INTO THIS.
I THINK THAT SEALER WOULD LOOK UP TO IT AS A CHANNEL, SO IT'S
WHAT I CALL A WARHOL PERFORMANCE, AND I WAS TAKING
THESE ICONS AND MESHING THEM TOGETHER AND DOING WHAT I WANTED
IN THE WAY THAT THEY SPOKE AND DRESSED.
Stephen: DID YOU EVER MEET BRANDO?
Nicolas: I DID MEET MARLON. AND I SAID TO HIM, HE WAS GIVING
A TALK, HE SHOWED HIS MOVIE "BURN" AT CAA, AND I WENT TO THE
SCREENING WITH GIOVANNI, AND I SAID, MARLON, I JUST WANT TO
KNOW THAT EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE HAS INSPIRED ME.
AND HE SAID "OH, JESUS, NICK, GIVE ME A [BLEEP] BREAK."
AND AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT RESPONSE I HAD WAS JERRY LEWIS
WHO I ALSO GREW UP WATCHING AND HE WAS MY FAVORITE COMEDIAN.
AND I WOULD WATCH HIM AND WAIT FOR THEM BY THE TV IN THE '60s
WISHING, WILLING THAT HE WOULD COME ON TV AND THE 90 PROFESSOR
WOULD COME ON. AND MORE OFTEN THEN NOT IT DID
BECAUSE IT WAS THE '60s. AND I SAID, NICK, IT'S JERRY, I
JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THERE'S AE THAT JUST LOVES WHAT YOU'RE
SAYING. WHY DON'T YOU COME OUT TO
LAS VEGAS. I HAVE A GREAT SHOW WAS SAMMY
DAVIS JR. I WANT YOU TO BE MY GUEST."
SO I FLEW OUT WITH MY BROTHER AND WE SAT DOWN AND SAW THE
SHOW, IT WAS A GREAT SHOW. AND HE THE TYPEWRITER GAG AND IT
WAS WONDERFUL. AND I WENT TO HIS SUITE TO SAY
HELLO, ANNIE CAME OUT IN A JAPANESE KIMONO AND BASEBALL
SOCS WITH A SHRIMP PLATTER ON THE PIANO.
AND I WAS LIKE "JERRY, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, IT'S JUST YOU
AND BRANDO." AND HE TOOK ABOUT A 32ND PAUSE
AND HE SAID, WELL, "BRANDO IS GOOD ALSO."
[LAUGHTER] Stephen: SO JEALOUS!
TO WHAT IS INTERESTING ABOUT THAT AS YOU SEE TWO UNIQUELY
DIFFERENT RESPONSES, ONE IS VERY BRANDO AND ONE IS VERY JERRY.
Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER BREAK, BUT DON'T GO AW
AWAY. NICOLAS CAGE WHEN WE COME BACK.
STICK AROUND. ♪ ♪
Stephen: BACK IN THE
BASEMENT WHERE JERRY LEWIS WILL JUDGE ME.
HEY, EVERYONE, WE ARE BACK WITH THE STAR FROM "RENFIELD,"
RENFIELD, IS IT TRUE OR THINKING ABOUT DOING A MUSICAL?
Nicolas: IF I WAS IN ROUTE TO GO ON BROADWAY AND DO A
MUSICAL, THE ONLY PART THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE FOR ME, BECAUSE
I HAVE OVER THE YEARS BLOWN OUT MY VOICE SINGING "PURPLE RAIN"
INCORRECTLY AND KARAOKE BARS, SO NO I HAVE A PUNK ROCK GRAVEL.
BUT I THINK THAT MIGHT LEND ITSELF TO PONTIUS PILATE IN
"JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR." Stephen: IT'S MY FAVORITE
MUSICAL EVER. I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO HAVE A
PART. MAYBE PETER OR SOMETHING.
Nicolas: DO YOU HAVE TIME? EIGHT SHOWS A WEEK, YOU ARE
HERE. Stephen: I WOULD QUIT THE
SHOW. LET PONTIUS PILATE, ALL OF THE
POWER OF ROME. SO THE KING IS ONCE AGAIN MY
GUEST. Nicolas: I WON'T BREAK OUT
INTO SONG TONIGHT. Stephen: ♪ AND WAS HEROD
UNIMPRESSED ♪ ♪ WE TURN TO ROME ♪
Nicolas: ♪ THE GRACE OF DESTRUCTION ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO ♪ ♪ YOU AND THIS PUPPET ♪
Stephen: IT HAS TO HAPPEN. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WELL, LOOK. LOOK, NICK CAGE.
LET'S NOT MAKE IT ANOTHER 58 YEARS BEFORE WE TALK AGAIN.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] "RENFIELD" OPENS IN THEATERS
TOMORROW. IT'S NICOLAS CAGE, EVERYBODY!
WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Stephen: PERFORMING "TO BE HONEST" FROM HIS UPCOMING
ALBUM PARANOIA, ANGELS, AND TRUE LOVE, CHRISTINE AND THE QUEENS!
♪ ♪ ♪ I GET LOST IN MY THOUGHTS ♪
♪ AND FOR HOURS OF TIME ♪ ♪ AND IT'S MAKING ME FEEL ♪
♪ LIKE I AM NOT ALONE ANYMORE ♪ ♪ TO BE HONEST ♪
♪ I AM TRYING TO LOVE ♪ ♪ BUT I'M AFRAID TO KILL ♪
♪ AND I NEVER KNOW WHEN ♪ ♪ WHEN TO SEARCH OR STAY STILL ♪
♪ SO I FLY ♪ ♪ TO BE HONEST WITH YOU ♪
♪ BROKEN AND YET TENDER ♪ ♪ ALWAYS IN, ALWAYS OUT ♪
♪ HEADING TO THE WATER ♪ ♪ DROWNING IN WHAT IT CAN HIDE,
HIDE ♪ ♪ KIND OF ALWAYS CAUTIOUS ♪
♪ DON'T YOU, DON'T YOU BREAK MY HEART ♪
♪ FEELING KIND OF LOVELESS ♪ ♪ YET ALWAYS READY TO TRY ♪
♪ AND I'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH ♪
♪ THAT SOMETIMES IT FEELS FAR ♪ ♪ IT IS LIKE A MOVIE ♪
♪ PLAYED BY ANOTHER STAR ♪ ♪ SHE'S A STRANGER ♪
♪ TO BE HONEST ♪ ♪ NOW I'M SITTING ALONE ♪
♪ AND I'M TRYING TO LISTEN ♪ ♪ TO THE STORIES THAT COULD ♪
♪ MAKE MINE A LITTLE SOFTER AND FINE ♪
♪ TO BE HONEST ♪ ♪ BROKEN AND YET TENDER ♪
♪ ALWAYS IN AND ALWAYS OUT ♪ ♪ HEADING TO THE WATER ♪
♪ DROWNING IN WHAT IT CAN HIDE ♪ ♪ KIND OF ALWAYS CAUTIOUS ♪
♪ DON'T YOU, DON'T YOU BREAK MY HEART ♪
♪ FEELING KIND OF LOVELESS ♪ ♪ YET ALWAYS READY TO TRY ♪
♪ AWAY, AWAY, AWAY ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen:
CHRISTINE AND THE QUEENS, THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW"!
GOOD NIGHT! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]