FLORIDA GOVERNOR RON DeSANTIS SAYS STATE
LAWMAKERS WILL REASSERT CONTROL OVER DISNEY WORLD'S SPECIAL
SELF-GOVERNING DISTRICT. DeSANTIS AND DISNEY HAVE BEEN
LOCKED IN AN ONGOING BATTLE AFTER THE COMPANY PUBLICLY
OPPOSED THE STATE'S SO-CALLED "DON'T SAY GAY" MEASURE
LAST YEAR. DeSANTIS THREATENED TO
BUILD A COMPETING THEME PARK OR EVEN A STATE PRISON NEXT TO
DISNEY. DeSANTIS IS THREATENING TO
BUILD A PRISON NEXT TO DISNEY.
♪ ♪
Announcer: IT'S "THE LAE SHOW
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." TONIGHT...
OWING 787. FIRST, STEPHEN WELCOMES
ELIZABETH OLSEN AND JENA FRIEDMAN.
FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER
IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU.
ARE WE GETTING THE TROMBONE TONIGHT?
HAPPY WEDNESDAY. HAPPY WEDNESDAY.
HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY. HELLO!
HELLO. HELLO.
HELLO, MY FRIENDS. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
STEPHEN! STEPHEN!
Stephen: PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WELCOME.
WELCOME MORNING ALL TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SPRING DAY
HERE IN NEW YORK. BIRDS ARE TAKING TO THE SKY,
BUNNIES ARE TAKING TO THE FIELD, FOX GOT TAKEN TO THE CLEANERS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 'CAUSE YESTERDAY, FOX NEWS
SETTLED DOMINION'S DEFAMATION LAWSUIT FOR
$787.5 MILLION. THIS IS A HUGE HIT
TO FOX'S BOTTOM LINE, ALTHOUGH IT'S NOT CLEAR IF
INSURANCE WILL COVER SOME OF FOX'S LIABILITY.
OF COURSE, FOX HAS TO HAVE LIABILITY INSURANCE
TO INSURE THEIR ABILITY TO LIE. ALTHOUGH, ALTHOUGH...
[APPLAUSE] I DON'T KNOW WHO WOULD
INSURE THEM. MAYBE FRAUDERS.
"WE ARE FRAUDERS, INSURING FOX WAS DUMB, DUMB,
DUMB!" THIS MASSIVE SETTLEMENT
WAS THE NUMBER ONE STORY ON EVERY SINGLE CABLE NEWS
NETWORK EXCEPT ONE. TAKE A GUESS.
IN FACT, WHEN THE SETTLEMENT WAS REACHED, FOX NEWS COULDN'T
EVEN BRING THEMSELVES TO TELL THEIR VIEWERS HOW MUCH THEY
FORKED OVER TO DOMINION. THE CLOSEST THEY CAME WAS
A STATEMENT FROM FOX NEWS HOST AND TAXIDERMIED CORPSE OF
HOWIE KURTZ, HOWIE KURTZ.
HOWARD, TELL THEM HOW MUCH DOMINION WON.
A DOMINION LAWYER GAVE REPORTERS A DOLLAR FIGURE
FOR THE SETTLEMENT, BUT I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO
INDEPENDENTLY CONFIRM THAT. Stephen: TWO HOURS AFTER THE
SETTLEMENT WAS ANNOUNCED HE CAN'T CONFIRM
HOW MUCH FOX NEWS PAID? IF ONLY THIS FOX NEWS ANCHOR
HAD SOME SOURCE AT FOX NEWS! THIS MIGHT NOT EVEN BE THE END
OF THE CASH PARTY FOR DOMINION. THEY'RE ALSO SUING CONSERVATIVE
NETWORKS OANN AND NEWSMAX, CONSPIRACY LAWYER SIDNEY POWELL,
AND MY PILLOW CEO MIKE LINDELL, FOR $1.3 BILLION.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I DON'T THINK LINDELL HAS THAT
KIND OF CASH ON HAND. HE'S GONNA TO HAVE TO CHANGE HIS
NAME AND FLEE TO MEXICO TO START "MI PILLOW."
"HOLA, MY NAME IS MIGUEL PILLOW, THIS IS MY BRIDE,
MARIA MEMORY FOAM." BURRITO, TACO,
EXTRA GUAC. ♪ ♪
DOMINION ALSO HAS A DEFAMATION CASE AGAINST RUDY GIULIANI,
ALSO FOR $1.3 BILLION. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THAT'S A LOT, MAN. THEY'RE SUING RUDY FOR
EVERYTHING HE'S GOT! WHICH AT THIS POINT, IS A STOLEN
CVS SHOPPING CART FULL OF EMPTY MERLOT BOTTLES AND A JAR
FULL OF SPARE TEETH. FOX NEWS ISN'T EVEN OFF THE HOOK
YET, EITHER. THEY'RE ALSO BEING SUED FOR
ALL THEIR ELECTION LIES FOR $2.7 BILLION, BY A VOTING
MACHINE COMPANY CALLED SMARTMATIC.
AND WE ALREADY KNOW FOX IS AFRAID OF THIS ONE.
FOR PROOF, LOOK AT FORMER FOX HOST AND WAX SCULPTURE OF
WILLIAM SHATNER LEFT NEXT TO AN OPEN FLAME, LOU DOBBS.
LOU DOBBS IS NAMED AS A DEFENDANT IN THIS ONE
AND JUST ONE DAY AFTER THE SMARTMATIC SUIT WAS FILED,
FOX BUSINESS CANCELED LOU DOBBS'S SHOW.
IT WAS A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT FOR HIS AUDIENCE:
A CAGE FULL OF PARAKEETS IN THE DAY ROOM.
BUT FOX IS TRYING TO MAKE SOME MONEY BACK, BECAUSE THEY'RE ALSO
A PLAINTIFF IN AN ELECTION LAWSUIT ON BEHALF OF FOX CEO
LACHLAN MURDOCH, SEEN HERE ASKING RUPERT "WHAT HAPPENED
TO MY NEW STEPMOMMY?" LACHLAN IS SUING AN AUSTRALIAN
WEBSITE FOR IMPLYING HE WAS A CONSPIRATOR IN THE JANUARY
6TH INSURRECTION. THE ACTUAL NAME OF THAT
WEBSITE: CRIKEY NEWS!
NOW, AND IF THEY LOSE, IT'LL BE GOOD FOR ITS MAIN COMPETITOR
DIDGERI-NEWS. "TONIGHT'S TOP STORY:
[DIDGERIDOO MUSIC] ALL THAT, AND DEADLY SPIDERS
IN YOUR SHOWER." SO...
WE DON'T BROADCAST THERE, DO WE?
FOX NEWS IS OUT A WHOLE LOT OF MONEY, BUT THEY'RE NOT
TELLING THEIR VIEWERS THAT. AND THEY DON'T HAVE TO,
BECAUSE THIS SETTLEMENT DOES NOT FORCE THEM TO OWN UP TO THE
DAMAGE THEY DID TO OUR COUNTRY OR APOLOGIZE ON THEIR NETWORK.
SO... [BOOING]
Stephen: WE FEEL THE SAME WAY.
SO WE'VE DECIDED TO MAKE THEM APOLOGIZE ON OUR NETWORK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] JIM?
BEFORE WE GO TONIGHT, WE WANT TO SAY--
WE'RE SORRY-- TO DOMINION--
AND TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. WE HERE AT FOX NEWS--
LIED TO YOU ABOUT-- THE 2020 ELECTION--
REPEATEDLY AND CONSISTENTLY. WE ADMT THAT WE ARE
GUILTY-- OF AMPLIFYING THOSE VOICES.
INSANE PEOPLE LIKE THIS GUY. HELLO, I'M MIKE LINDELL.
A GUY LIKE THIS IS GIVEN A PLATFORM--
BECAUSE WE WANT TO MAKE SURE--
WHEN YOU'RE WATCHING FOX NEWS--
IT WILL MAKE YOU DUMBER. MY ORIGINAL MY SLIPPERS
ARE BACK IN STOCK. PLEASE--
TAKE US OFF-- TELEVISION BEFORE WE--
ALLOW THESE CROOKS-- TO TURN OUR COUNTRY INTO--
DUMPS, BIG MASSIVE DUMPS! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Stephen: WELL... WE'VE DONE OUR PART NOW.
WHILE FOX NEWS IS COUGHING UP CASH FOR SPREADING LIES,
THE GUY THEY WERE LYING FOR IS BUSY SCAMMING CASH
OUT OF THE PEOPLE THEY WERE LYING TO.
'CAUSE YESTERDAY, HE MADE THIS ANNOUNCEMENT.
HELLO AGAIN. THIS IS YOUR FAVORITE PRESIDENT
DONALD TRUMP WITH SOME NEWS YOU ARE GOING TO REALLY LOVE.
A FEW MONTHS AGO WE ALMOST BROKE THE INTERNET WHEN I
ANNOUNCED MY TRUMP DIGITAL TRADING CARDS.
WELL, I'VE GOT SOME FANTASTIC NEWS FOR YOU.
MY TRUMP DIGITAL TRADING CARDS ARE BACK WITH A BANG.
Stephen: HIS DIGITAL TRADING CARDS
ARE BACK WITH A BANG?
LESS NATURAL THAN THE MASHUP WE JUST DID.
THESE CARDS ARE NFTs, WHICH DIGITAL FINANCE EXPERTS DEFINE
AS "A SCAM WE ALL STOPPED FALLING FOR 8 MONTHS AGO."
AND THE FIRST BATCH FEATURED THE EX-PRESIDENT AS
WEARING RACE CAR PAJAMAS, AS A BAD BOY ASTRONAUT
WITH ROBO-BELT AND MAKING STOCKS GO UP WITH THE INSPIRING HAT
MESSAGE. DOW.
THE NEW BATCH OF CARDS HAS SOME REAL AVANT GARDE WORK.
LIKE HIM STEALING THE LIBERTY BELL, AND THIS ONE
WHERE HE'S WITH A LION THAT IS ON FIRE THAT IS PAWING
AT THE EARTH, WHICH IS ALSO FLOATING IN THE CLOUDY SKY OF
EARTH, IN FRONT OF THE BEAUTIFUL CONSTELLATION OF "45 RUUUU!"
THAT ONE, OF COURSE, BROUGHT TO YOU BY KYLE WHO TOOK SOME
MUSHROOMS AND STARTED PLAYIN' AROUND WITH HIS
A.I. ARTBOT. KYLE!
MUSHROOMS, I DON'T KNOW. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!
HERE HE IS REENACTING THAT FAMOUS MOMENT WHEN WASHINGTON
LOOKED INTO THE DRESSING ROOMS OF THE MISS TEEN USA PAGEANT.
EACH OF THESE BEAUTIFUL, COLLECTIBLE EMBARRASSMENTS
COULD BE YOURS FOR ONLY $99. IF THEY WEREN'T ALREADY
SOLD OUT. HONESTLY, I'M HAPPY FOR ALL
THOSE MAGA SENIORS WHO WERE ABLE TO PURCHASE THESE AFTER GETTING
THEIR GRANDKIDS ON THE PHONE TO HELP THEM "DO A COMPUTER."
AS FOR MY FAVORITE, I CAN'T DECIDE BETWEEN SCREAMING
WHILE PLAYING GUITAR AND SCREAMING WHILE PLAYING
GUITAR ON A HARLEY. IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO TOP THAT
ON THE NEXT BATCH. I'M THINKIN' PLAYING GUITAR
ON A MOTORCYCLE, ON A BOAT, HANGIN' FROM A HELICOPTER,
PILOTED BY A LAVA GORILLA IN SPACE!
$98. BACK DOWN ON EARTH, THERE'S SOME
NEWS FROM IOWA. AND IT'S NOT GOOD.
YESTERDAY, THEIR STATE SENATE PASSED A BILL LOOSENING
CHILD LABOR LAWS. YEAH, KIDS HAVE HAD IT EASY
FOR TOO LONG. THEY'RE SO SPOILED THESE DAYS
WITH THEIR iPHONES AND THEIR PS5s AND ALL TEN OF THEIR
FINGERS. IF YOU HADN'T HEARD ABOUT THIS
BILL, IT'S BECAUSE IT WAS PASSED TUESDAY MORNING AT 4:52 A.M.
NEVER A GREAT SIGN. THE ONLY THINGS ANYONE
SHOULD BE DOING AT 4:52 A.M. IS PARTYING BECAUSE YOU'RE
YOUNG OR PEEING BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT.
[APPLAUSE] SURE.
SWOLLEN PROSTATE! NOW, IF PASSED BY THE HOUSE,
THIS BILL WILL ALLOW 14-YEAR-OLDS TO WORK SIX-HOUR
NIGHT SHIFTS. THAT'S GONNA LEAD TO SOME BRAND
NEW HOMEWORK EXCUSES. "I'M SORRY, MRS. LARSEN.
MY DIORAMA OF TREASURE ISLAND GOT CAUGHT IN THE HOG
MANGLER." THIS BILL ALSO ALLOWS
15-YEAR-OLDS TO WORK ON ASSEMBLY LINES MOVING ITEMS UP
TO 50 POUNDS. AND OLDER TEENS GET THE JOBS
THAT ARE EVEN MORE FUN. BECAUSE THIS BILL ALLOWS
16- AND 17-YEAR-OLDS TO SERVE ALCOHOL.
COME ON. HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO POUR
YOUR HEART OUT TO A 16-YEAR-OLD BARTENDER?
"HAD A FIGHT WITH THE MISSUS? I HEAR YA.
I HAD A BIG ARGUMENT WITH TYLER TODAY OVER WHO
WOULD WIN, AN ORC THIEF OR A HALF-ELF MAGIC USER.
ANYWAY, CAN I HAVE YOUR COCKTAIL UMBRELLA?
I NEED TO REDO MY DIORAMA OF TREASURE ISLAND."
GOT CAUGHT IN THE HOG MANGLER. TODAY'S SPECIAL IS MANGLED HOG.
IN ACROSS THE POND NEWS, WE'RE JUST A FEW WEEKS AWAY
FROM THE CORONATION OF KING CHARLES, SEEN HERE LEARNING
THE INGREDIENTS OF BLOOD PUDDING.
"CHARLES WILL OFFICIALLY BE CROWNED KING ON MAY 6TH"
IS A SENTENCE I AM SOMEHOW STILL SAYING IN 2023.
AND WE'RE STARTING TO GET DETAILS ABOUT THE CELEBRATION.
BUCKINGHAM PALACE RECENTLY ANNOUNCED THE OFFICIAL
RECIPE OF THE WEEKEND IS CORONATION QUICHE,
ALONG WITH COOKING INSTRUCTIONS. I'M TOLD WE HAVE A COPY OF
CHARLES' QUICHE RECIPE. STEP ONE: TELL YOUR
VALET YOU WANT QUICHE. STEP TWO: QUICHE APPEARS.
NOT ALL OF THE PREPARATIONS ARE GOING AS SMOOTHLY.
THE PALACE HAS REPORTEDLY HAD A VERY HARD TIME FINDING
ANY MUSICIANS TO PERFORM. THEY'VE BEEN TURNED DOWN BY
HARRY STYLES, ELTON JOHN, THE SPICE GIRLS, ADELE,
AND ED SHEERAN. YOUR HIGHNESS, HEAR ME OUT,
JUST HIRE A D.J. MY COUSIN RICKY HAS AN iPOD,
AND A CONNECTION TO SOME MOLLY. IF THERE'S A BLUETOOTH
HOOKUP AT WESTMINSTER, YOU AND CAMILLA ARE GONNA BE
DOING THE CHICKEN DANCE IN THE AISLES.
BUT THEY HAVE FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE TO SING FOR OL' KING
CHUCKY BECAUSE WE NOW KNOW THAT KATY PERRY AND LIONEL
RICHIE WILL PERFORM AT KING CHARLES'S CORONATION
CONCERT. AH, YES, THOSE FAMOUS ICONS OF
BRITISH MUSIC, KATY PERRY AND LIONEL RICHIE.
YOU KNOW THEIR SONGS "'ELLO" AND "I SNOGGED A LASS,
AND IT WAS ALL RIGHT, INNIT?" WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW
FOR YOU TONIGHT. MY GUESTS ARE ELIZABETH OLSEN
AND COMEDIAN JENA FRIEDMAN. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
THE LATEST TECH TRENDS. YOU KNOW, I LOVE TECH.
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY. GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND.
LOUIS CATO AND "THE LATE SHOW," OUR FRIENDS, BEAUTIFUL YOUNG
FRIENDS OVER THERE. LOUIS, TONIGHT WE HAVE TWO
FANTASTIC PERFORMERS, ELIZABETH OLSEN WILL BE OUT HERE LITTLE
WHILE. YOU MIGHT KNOW HER FROM THE
STUFF SHE DOES. ALSO COMEDIAN JANA FRIEDMAN IS
GOING TO BE OUT HERE IN A LITTLE WHILE.
BIG FAN. ALSO I JUST WANT TO REMIND
EVERYBODY OUT THERE WATCHING, IF YOU ENJOY "THE LATE SHOW" AND
YOU WANT TO SEE MORE OF "THE LATE SHOW," YOU SHOULD
CHECK OUT THE "THE LATE SHOW" POD SHOW.
YOU CAN GO WITH THE PODCAST, THAT THINGAMAJIG.
EXTENDED INTERVIEWS, JOKES THAT WE COLLECT AND UPON THE PODCAST.
WE CUT THEM FOR TIME, NOT BECAUSE THEIR QUALITY.
ALL THE JOKES OR QUALITY. WE HAVE EXTENDED INTERVIEWS WITH
NICOLAS CAGE, BRIAN COX, LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA AND JOHN
KANDER AND THEN NASA ARTEMIS 2 ASTRONAUTS.
MANY MORE. WHO KNOWS.
MAYBE THERE WILL BE EXTENDED INTERVIEWS WITH ELIZABETH OLSON
AND JENNA FRIEDMAN. I'M UP FOR IT.
FOLKS, I LOVE KEEPING UP WITH ALL THE LATEST
TECH TRENDS, UNLESS THAT INVOLVES UPDATING
MY SOFTWARE IN WHICH CASE I WILL BE CLICKING "REMIND ME LATER"
UNTIL THE SUN ENGULFS THE EARTH.
BUT IT TURNS OUT TODAY'S HOTTEST TECHNOLOGY IS ACTUALLY
FROM THE PAST. BECAUSE, ACCORDING
TO MULTIPLE REPORTS, GEN Z IS LOVING VINTAGE
TECHNOLOGY AND THEIR LATEST VINTAGE OBSESSION
IS THE FLIP PHONE. THAT'S RIGHT, THE FLIP PHONE.
THE NUMBER ONE WAY FOR KIDS TO LEARN THAT SNAKES DIE
BY BUMPING INTO THEMSELVES. NOW FLIP PHONES DON'T HAVE
A CAMERA. SO HOW DO THESE RETRO-OBSESSED
YOUNG PEOPLE TAKE PICTURES? WELL, DON'T YOU WORRY, BECAUSE
THE OTHER HOTTEST GEN Z GADGET IS A 20-YEAR-OLD DIGITAL CAMERA.
KIDS, WE STOPPED USING THESE 'CAUSE THEY SUCKED!
THAT'S LIKE SAYING "SURE, THERE'S ANESTHESIA, BUT HAVE YOU
EVER TRIED BITING ON A STICK?" BUT APPARENTLY, THE FLAWS
ARE THE DRAW. BECAUSE, WHILE THE IMAGE QUALITY
IS POORER, GEN Z-ERS FIND THE VINTAGE LOOK MORE MEANINGFUL
AND MORE CHALLENGING. YES, FROM EXPERIENCE, I CAN SAY
THAT LOOKING AT OLD PHOTOS IS DEFINITELY "CHALLENGING."
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
IT'S GOING TO GET BETTER. IT DOESN'T END THERE.
OVER THE LAST COUPLE YEARS, GEN Z-ERS HAVE BEEN DITCHING
E-BOOKS FOR REAL BOOKS, AND DITCHING AIRPODS IN FAVOR OF
WIRED HEADPHONES. PERFECT FOR ANYONE WHO LOVES
LISTENING TO MUSIC BUT WISHES THEY COULD GET CAUGHT ON
EVERY ITEM IN A TWO-FOOT RADIUS. THERE'S EVEN BEEN INCREASED
INTEREST IN EXTREMELY OLD METHODS OF COMMUNICATION,
LIKE HAM RADIO AND MORSE CODE. BUT ALL THIS VINTAGE TECHNOLOGY
IS STILL TECHNOLOGY. SO WHAT IF YOU'RE
A YOUNG PERSON WHO WANTS TO FULLY UNPLUG, BUT STILL NEEDS
TO COMMUNICATE? DON'T WORRY,
"THE LATE SHOW" HAS JUST THE PRODUCT FOR YOU.
JIM? SICK OF SOCIAL MEDIA, IT IS
TIME TO GO TRULY RETRO WITH 18TH CENTURY FLAG BASED
COMMUNICATION. INTRODUCING NOKIA SEMAPHORE, THE
ONLY SYSTEM DESIGNED TO CUT OUT THE NOISE AND LET YOU TALK WITH
YOUR ANDS LIKE AN OLD TIMEY SAILOR
LEARN THE SIMPLE CODE AND YOU BE
CHATTING IN NO TIME. ♪ ♪
C? THAT ONLY TOOK 10 MINUTES.
NOKIA SEMAPHORE IS PERFECT FOR GROUP CHATS.
AND NOW YOU CAN SEXT LIKE NEVER
BEFORE. GIVEN UP SOCIAL MEDIA?
YOU CAN STILL YELL HOT TAKES AT STRANGERS.
UNLIKE YOUR PHONE, FEEL FREE TO USE IT AT THE THEATER.
BEST OF ALL, SAY GOODBYE TO DRUNKENLY CONTACTING YOUR EX.
I'M GOING TO FLAG BRIAN. OH, NO, HE'S BAD FOR YOU.
GIVE ME MY FREAKING FLAG. CALL 911!
NO, USE THE FLAGS
[SCREAMING] NOKIA SEMAPHORE.
EVERYTHING OLD IS COOL AGAIN. Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT
BACK WITH ELIZABETH OLSON.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. WELCOME BACK TO THE
"THE LATE SHOW." MY FIRST GUEST IS AN ACTOR
YOU KNOW FROM "MARTHA MARCY MAY MARLENE,"
"INGRID GOES WEST," AND "WANDAVISION."
SHE NOW STARS IN "LOVE AND DEATH."
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU A LOT AND IT'S REALLY BEEN
BOTHERING ME. I'M NOT SURE WHETHER I WANT YOU
TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT OR NOT. I'M VERY ATTRACTED TO YOU I'M
JUST TIRED OF THINKING ABOUT IT SO I'M GOING TO TELL YOU THAT.
OH. Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BACK
TO "THE LATE SHOW," ELIZABETH OLSEN.
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Elizabeth: HI.
IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL HERE. Stephen: IT'S REALLY LOVELY
TO HAVE YOU BACK. I DON'T KNOW WHETHER I WAXED
ELOQUENTLY ENOUGH THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE ABOUT WHAT A FAN I
AM OF YOUR TALENT AND PERFORMANCES.
ALSO THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, WE HADN'T SEEN "ONE
DIVISION" YET. WHAT AN EXTRAORDINARY SHOW THAT
WAS. YOU'VE DONE A LOT OF MARVEL
STUFF AND THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF THESE MARBLE SHOWS BUT THAT
REALLY BROKE FORM AN INTERESTING WAY AND IT HAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL
AND SATISFYING AND HEARTBROKEN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY FOR YOUR
CHARACTER INFORMATION. DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU WERE PART
OF SOMETHING SORT OF GENRE BREAKING?
Elizabeth: WE JUST FELT LIKE PAUL KEPT CALLING US THE
FORGOTTEN COUSIN TO THE MARVEL UNIVERSE.
HE JUST FELT LIKE WERE SOME ANNOYING COUSIN THAT PEOPLE
THROUGH THE CORNER AND I THINK ANTHONY MACKIE AND SEBASTIAN
WERE TRAVELING ALL OVER THE WORLD AND BLOWING THINGS UP.
PAUL AND I WOULD JUST LIKE, DOING SITCOM ACTING IN A CORNER.
OUR AMAZING CAST AND CREW. WE LOVE WHAT WE WERE DOING, WE
HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING IT. BUT WE REALLY FELT LIKE IT WAS
EITHER GOING TO-- IT MIGHT POTENTIALLY RUIN US
ALL. [LAUGHS]
I THINK THAT'S THE STUFF THAT FEELS THE MOST FUN TO ME.
IT'S WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU COULD FAIL AT ANY SECOND.
Stephen: WELL, THE SUPERPOWER OF THAT SHOW TO ME
WAS YOUR ABILITY TO APPROACH GRIEF IN A WAY THAT WAS
BEAUTIFUL AND HEROIC IN SOME WAYS.
Elizabeth: THE WRITING WAS REALLY BEAUTIFUL AND I THINK IT
TOUCHED ON THE WAY WE GRIEVE, TOUCHED ON SO MANY LEVELS BEYOND
JUST BEING AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY. THEN IT BECAME THIS HUGE SET
PIECE. IT WAS LITERALLY PART OF THE
FABRIC OF ALL OF OUR SET. IT WAS WRITTEN REALLY
BEAUTIFULLY AND DIRECTED BEAUTIFULLY.
tephen: THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, YOU HAD JUST DONE
SOME OF YOUR FIRST REAL AVENGERS STUMPEDS AND HE SAID WOUND OF
THES, YOU HAD TO DO TOO MANY TAKES BECAUSE THEY WOULD HOIST
YOU UP ON THE WIRE. Elizabeth: YOUR STOMACH
LEAVES YOU. IT IS LIKE THE JOY PEOPLE GET ON
ROLLER COASTERS WHICH I DON'T GET THAT PEOPLE OF THAT FEELING.
Stephen: HAVE YOU RECOVERED, YOU HAVE DONE THREE
MARVEL MOVIES SINCE THEN. Elizabeth: I HAVE DONE SO
MANY MARVEL MOVIES. Stephen: WE KNOW OF THREE
THAT YOU'VE DONE. HAVE YOU GOTTEN BETTER AT IT?
BETTER AT THE WIRE WORK? HAVE YOU RECOVERED FROM YOUR
GIDDINESS? Elizabeth: DEFINITELY
RECOVERED FROM MY GETTING THIS. HOW MANY MORE OF THESE DO YOU
WANT? I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY.
SOMETIMES I GET A LITTLE FREAKED OUT.
THERE WAS ONE IN "DOCTOR STRANGE" WHERE I HAD TO
BE DROPPED FROM 30 FEET UP IN LAND AND THEY WANTED TO DROP ME
PRETTY QUICKLY SO THAT IT LOOKED LIKE IT HAD AN IMPACT BUT I KEPT
LANDING LIKE PETER PAN, LIKE FENCING.
JUST USE THE DOUBLE. THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS.
THERE IS A DOUBLE FOR REASON. THEY DO IT ALL THE TIME.
AND THEY USED IT. IN THE MOVIE.
Stephen: THEY USED YOU? Elizabeth: I AM LANDING AND
I LOOK LIKE PETER PAN. I LOOK LIKE I'M FENCING.
IT'S RIDICULOUS. WE HAD SO MUCH TECHNOLOGY, GROW
THROUGH THESE MOVIES AND THEY JUST CHOSE TO REALLY USE ME FOR
EVERY STUNT IN THAT MOVIE. I DIDN'T DO ALL OF THEM BUT I
DID MOST OF THEM WHICH IS A WASTE OF EVERYONE'S TIME BECAUSE
A STUNT DOUBLE DOES IT SO MUCH BETTER.
DO YOU REMEMBER THE ENDING OF "WITCHES OF EASTWICK" WITH
JACK NICHOLSON COVERED IN FEATHERS.
I WAS WAITING FOR THAT MOMENT. I WAS WET, COVERED IN OIL,
COVERED IN BLOOD. AT WHAT POINT ARE THEY GOING TO
BLOW FEATHERS ON ME? THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS.
Stephen: IS IT CHALLENGING TO HAVE THOSE EMOTIONAL MOMENTS
WHEN THE PERSON THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO IS A FACE COVERED
WITH LITTLE WHITE DOTS? SO THAT CGI CAN TRACK THEM.
Stephen: OR PURPLE, OR COVERED IN GLITTER.
PURPLE UNCOVERED IN GLITTER. Elizabeth: WHY GLITTER?
VISION DOESN'T GLITTER. Elizabeth: HE DOES.
HIS LAST AIRBRUSHED LAYER IS GLITTER.
GLITTER. Stephen: IS JUST FOR PAUL.
WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
ELIZABETH OLSON, EVERYBODY. STICK AROUND.
♪ ♪ Stephen: WE ARE BACK WITH
THE STAR OF "LOVE AND DEATH," ELIZABETH OLSON.
YOU COME FROM AN ACTING FAMILY KNEW BEEN PERFORMING SINCE YOU
WERE FOUR. Elizabeth: I HAVE BEEN
DOING CAMPS AND SHOWING UP AT THINGS BECAUSE IT WAS AFTER
SCHOOL CARE BUT I WASN'T IN A PROFESSIONAL--
Stephen: IN OTHER WORDS PERIODS GO BE IN EXTRA IN YOUR
SISTER'S FILM. WE DO OUR RESEARCH.
WAS THERE ANY OTHER OPTION? I'M GOING TO DO THIS.
NO, I'LL BE AN ACTRESS. WAS THERE SOME OTHER PATH FOR
YOU? Elizabeth: I FELT LIKE I
KNEW WHAT I WANTED SINCE I WAS VERY LITTLE.
MY EARLIEST MEMORIES ARE MIMICKING MUSICALS AND I
WATCHED, DANCING, SINGING, ALSO WHAT MY GROUP OF FRIENDS DID SO
WHEN I WENT THROUGH MY ADOLESCENCE, WHEN YOU TRY TO
REBEL AND STAND OUT AND BE DIFFERENT WAS WHEN I THOUGHT I
REALLY THINK I SHOULD BE AN ACCOUNTANT.
THAT WOULD MAKE ME NOT BASIC. Stephen: BEING BASIC WAS--
Elizabeth: I'M FROM L.A. EVERYONE COMES HERE TO BE AN
ACTOR. I CAN'T JUST BECOME AN ACTOR.
Stephen: ONE ABOUT ACTUARY TABLES?
THAT IS SEXY. Elizabeth: I SHOULD BE AN
INVESTMENT BANKER. I THOUGHT I NEEDED TO DO
SOMETHING DIFFERENT THEN I GOT OVER THAT WHEN I WAS 15 AND FELL
BACK IN THE THEATER. Stephen: IS AN EVER
TEMPTING TO GO TO SOMETHING ELSE NOW?
Elizabeth: NOW IT IS. I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME.
Stephen: WHEN YOU'RE UP ON THE WIRE 30 FEET FROM THE
GROUND. WHAT DO YOU DAYDREAM ABOUT
DOING? Elizabeth: I LOVE, LOVE,
LOVE GETTING TO DO THIS JOB, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE
YOU'RE WITH PEOPLE WHO CARE A LOT ABOUT IT.
BUT I DO THINK IT WOULD BE FUN TO DO SOMETHING WHERE THERE'S A
BEGINNING AND ENDING THAT YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF.
Stephen: BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST DOING YOUR PART OF IT IN
SOMEONE ELSE'S EDITING IT AND SPECIAL EFFECTS.
Elizabeth: AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE OH, THAN I SHOULD BE
DIRECTING. THAT'S NOT WHERE MY BRAIN GOES.
I LIKE MAKING MONKS OR WHATEVER. POTTERY IS GREAT.
NOT LIKE IT WOULD BE A CAREER. I'M NOT THAT GOOD.
Eliz>> Stephen: NOT YET. WHO WOULDN'T BUY A MUG FROM THIS
WOMAN. THINK ABOUT IT.
Stephen: NEXT TIME-- Elizabeth: NEXT TIME I'M
HERE, THESE WILL BE REPLACED. Stephen: THAT WOULD BE
FANTASTIC. THE NEW LIMITED SERIES IS CALLED
"LOVE AND DEATH," WHICH IS A GREAT COMBINATION AND IT'S
GETTING A LOT OF BLOWS AND I UNDERSTAND IT'S BASED ON A TRUE
STORY. Elizabeth: IT IS.
IT'S BASED ON A TRUE STORY. THE STORY, LET ME TELL YOU.
IT'S ABOUT A GROUP OF YOUNG FAMILIES LIVING IN TEXAS AND
SLICK AND PRAIRIE IN 1978 AND THEY HAVE DONE ALL THE THINGS
THAT THEY FELT LIKE THEY NEEDED TO DO, THEY HAVE FAMILIES, KIDS,
CHURCH COMMUNITY AND MY CHARACTER IS NOT HAPPY WITH JUST
THAT AND SHE-- LIKE WE WATCHED IN THE CLIP, SHE
TO HAVE AN AFFAIR. VERY PLANNED OUT.
Stephen: VERY RESERVED PROPOSITION.
Elizabeth: YES. THEY PLAN IT OUT FOR MONTHS,
THIS AFFAIR, TRUE STORY. AND IT'S FOLLOWED BY A
SUBSEQUENT MURDERING OF HIS WIFE.
Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP OF SOMETHING BEHIND THE SCENES.
Elizabeth: OH, GOSH. Stephen: THERE IS NO SOUND.
Elizabeth: NO, NO SOUND. IT WAS TAPED IT TO DIO VILLAGE
WHERE PEOPLE WATCH THINGS WHILE YOU'RE SHOOTING THEM.
I HAVE A HUGE FEAR OF ROLLER COASTERS.
Stephen: YOU PERSONALLY. Elizabeth: MY CHARACTER,
THE SCENE BEFORE IS A HARD CUT FROM "YOU LIKE ROLLER COASTERS"
TO US BEING ON A ROLLER COASTER AND WE GOT TO THE CHUTE AND I
KNEW I WAS GOING TO BE TOO SCARED TO DO IT A LOT SO I ASKED
THEM TO BRING IN MY STUNT DOUBLE MARVEL MOVIES.
SHE DOES LOTS OF AMAZING STUNTS. THEY NEED TO DO IT ON MY FACE
FOR SOME OF IT. I BROKE DOWN INTO TEARS.&
Stephen: HAD YOU EVER RIDDEN A ROLLER COASTER BEFORE?
Elizabeth: I HAD AND THAT IT WAS TOO SCARY.
I DIDN'T EXPECT TO CRY. I'M NOT A DRAMATIC PERSON
PREDATOR LINK DRAWING ATTENTION TO MYSELF.
I DON'T LIKE TAKING AWAY TIME FROM SHOOTING BUT IT WAS A
HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE FEELING. THIS IS THE VIDEO OF THE ONE
TAKE THAT I DID ON THE ROLLER COASTER.
OR A SNIPPET OF IT. [LAUGHS]
MY CHARACTER REALLY WAS SUPPOSED TO ENJOY IT.
Stephen: YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT TIME.
Elizabeth: SWEET JESSE WAS REALLY THERE FOR ME IN THAT
MOMENT. AND THEN WE START GOING
BACKWARDS. THEY THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD
IDEA FOR SOMEONE WHO IS SCARED OF ROLLER COASTERS.
YOU DO THE WHOLE THING AND THEN YOU START DOING THE WHOLE THING
BACKWARDS. THAT WAS WHEN I WAS LIKE OKAY,
I'M JUST GOING TO PRETEND TO BE THE CHARACTER BUT THE CHARACTER
WOULDN'T TALK THE WHOLE TIME AND I'M JUST TALKING THE WHOLE TIME.
TRYING TO BE LIKE OH, HOW MUCH FUN WAS THAT?
THAT WAS SO FUN. Stephen: TO JOIN ANY POINT
ENJOY IT? Elizabeth: NO.
Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
"LOVE AND DEATH" PREMIEES APRIL. ELIZABETH OLSEN, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH COMEDIAN JENNA FRIEDMAN.
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: ILL-TIMED.
WELCOME BACK. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MY NEXT GUEST IS A STAND-UP COMEDIAN AND WRITER WHO'S NEW
BOOK IS CALLD "NOT FUNNY." PLEASE WELCOME BACK T
"THE LATE SHOW," JENA FRIEDMAN. ♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU. Jena: SO NICE TO SEE YOU,
STEVIE. Stephen: HAVE YOU BEEN IN
HERE IN PERSON SINCE COVID? I KNOW WE TALKED IN COVID.
I CAN'T REMEMBER IF I'VE SEEN YOU IN THE FLESH.
SINCE THE LAST TIME I KNOW THATT I SAW YOU IN THE FLESH, YOU
BECOME A MOTHER. CONGRATULATIONS ON THAT.
IT'S A BIG DEAL. HOW IS IT GOING?
Jena: IT'S GREAT. IT'S SO REWARDING.
NO, IT'S GREAT. IT'S GREAT.
HE'S WONDERFUL. HEALTHY.
WHATEVER. WHATEVER THEY WANT TO BE, I'M
SORRY. Stephen: I WASN'T ASKING
FOR THAT REASON. Jena: I WAS LIKE, STEPHEN,
I LOVE YOUR SHOW PAIR YOU ARE SO PROGRESSIVE.
Stephen: WANTS HIS NAME? Jena: THERE IS A NAME.
BEFORE I GET INTO IT, ONLY FOUND OUT WE WERE PREGNANT, SORRY, I
KNOW THAT IS SO CHEESY. WE FOUND OUT MY HUSBAND WAS
PREGNANT. Stephen: THIS IS THE TWO OF
YOU TOGETHER WITH THE BABY. THE FAMILY, THE VERY HUNGARY
CATERPILLAR IN THIS COSTUME? THAT'S PRETTY CUTE.
Jena: STEPHEN IS TRYING TO MAKE IT SWEET AND I'M TRYING TO
LAUNCH INTO SOMETHING DICEY. WHEN WE FOUND OUT THAT WHEN WE
FOUND OUT MY HUSBAND WAS PREGNANT WE DECIDED TO GIVE IT A
PET NAME. IT'S FETUS AND NOT A PERSON.
BECAUSE MY HUSBAND'S LAST NAME IS EPSTEIN, NATURALLY WE NAMES
THE FETUS JEFFREY. AND I HAD A PREGNANCY APP AND
EVERY WEEK THEY WOULD SEND ME A NEW REMINDER.
JEFFREY EPSTEIN IS THE SIZE OF A KUMQUAT.
IT WAS SO CUTE. WE NAMED THE FETUS JEFFREY
BECAUSE I WAS 39 WHEN I GOT PREGNANT, HIGH-RISK PREGNANCY
AND GOD FORBID ANYTHING HAPPEN, WE WANTED TO BE ABLE TO SAY
MAYBE JEFFREY EPSTEIN KILLED HIMSELF.
[APPLAUSE] I WASN'T GOING TO DO THE BIT BUT
I'M SLY, I HAVE TO GIVE STEPHEN SOMETHING TO CUT BECAUSE WE ARE
NOT LIVE AND I FEEL LIKE THAT'S MY GIFT TO YOU.
Stephen: I LOVE IT. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT.
IF ANYONE EVER SAW THAT, THEY WOULD LOVE AND TOO.
THE NEW BOOK, AND I DISAGREE, IS CALLED "NOT FUNNY."
THIS MIGHT BE A SURPRISE TO THE AUDIENCE BUT YOU DO NOT SHY AWAY
FROM CONTROVERSIAL HUMOR. DID YOUR EDITOR FIGHT WITH YOU
ON ANYTHING? I HAVE WRITTEN BOOKS AND THEY
HAVE SAID YOU CAN PUT THAT IN THERE.
WAS THERE ANYTHING THAT YOU WANTED TO PUT IN THE DIDN'T GET
IN? Jena: I HAD AN IDEA TO HAVE
A FAMOUS PERSON WRITE THE FORWARD AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE FUNNY TO ACTUALLY HAVE SOMEONE NAMED BILL COSBY WHO
WASN'T BILL COSBY. Stephen: SO "NOT FUNNY"
WITH A FORWARD BY THE COSBY.& Jena: THAT SELLS THE JOKE.
"NOT FUNNY" JUST LOOKS LIKE A FEMINIST DIATRIBE, NOT THAT IT'S
NOT. BUT WITH BILL COSBY.
I NEED TO FIND THE BILL COSBY WHO IS NOT THAT BILL COSBY.
THERE HAVE TO BE SOME. I REOPEN MY FACEBOOK ACCOUNT
WHICH I HAD CLOSE TO HIM THAN I REOPENED IT.
WHEN ZUCKERBERG MET WITH TRUMP. I REOPENED IT AND FIND IT A
BUNCH OF PEOPLE NAMED BILL COSBY.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU READ BUT HERE'S A BOOK.
I WILL PAY YOU TO WRITE A FORWARD.
NO ONE GOT BACK TO ME AND THEN A FRIEND OF MINE, HE SAID WHAT IF
THOSE AREN'T PEOPLE NAMED BILL COSBY.
WHAT IF THEY ARE JUST FANS BILL COSBY NOW AND THEY KNOW
THE-- SO I GOT SCARED AND THEN A
FRIEND OF MINE THAT I GREW UP WITH SAID I FOUND A BILL COSBY
ON LINKEDIN AND HE IS DOWN TO DO IT.
AND THEN MY EDITOR WHO WAS ALSO BRILLIANT, MAYBE DON'T DO THAT.
IS A LOT OF GOOD STUFF IN THE BOOK I THINK A FORWARD BY
BILL COSBY MIGHT DISTRACT FROM THAT.
HE WAS PROBABLY RIGHT. Stephen: WHY DID YOU CALL
IT "NOT FUNNY." THAT IS NOT AN APT DESCRIPTION
OF YOU. Jena: TO SOME PEOPLE IT IS.
THERE ARE A LOT OF REASONS. ONE I TALK ABOUT IN THE BOOK.
ANOTHER REASON AROUND THE TIME WHEN I WROTE THE BOOK I HAD
TWEETED SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE GOT VERY UPSET ABOUT.
Stephen: OH OH? Jena: SHOCKING.
IT WAS AROUND THE TIME OF THE RNC AND I HAD FOUND OUT THAT THE
MCCLOSKEYS, THIS COUPLE, IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER, POINTED A GUN AT
PROTESTERS, WERE THEN INVITED TO SPEAK AT THE RNC.
Stephen: THE COUPLE IN ST. LOUIS ON THEIR LAWN.
Jena: I THOUGHT IT WAS A WEIRD THING TO HAVE ON YOUR
RESUME, TO BE A SPEAKER AT A NATIONAL CONVENTION.
SO I HAD A VERIFIED ACCOUNT, I STILL DO BUT BACK IN THE DAY THE
BLUE CHECK PEOPLE THOUGHT IT MEANT SOMETHING.
NOW IT'S A DIFFERENT TIME. BUT BACK THEN HAVING A BLUE
CHECK MARK, IF YOU TWEET BREAKING NEWS, PEOPLE THINK IT'S
REAL. EVEN IF YOU'RE A COMEDIAN THAT
EVEN IF YOU HAVE IN YOUR BIO, DON'T QUOTE ME.
I TWEETED "BREAKING NEWS: BROCK TURNER, SWIMMER/SEXUAL PREDATOR
SPEAKING OF THE RNC." I ALSO TWEETED "THAT WHO GAVE
WORLD COVID SPEAKING AT THE RNC."
I THOUGHT PEOPLE WOULD GET THAT IT WAS A JOKE.
PEOPLE GOT VERY UPSET. A STANFORD PROFESSOR WAITED AND
SAID... Stephen: COMEDIANS TWEET
ABOUT BROCK TURNER AND THE RNC "NOT FUNNY," STANFORD PROFESSOR
SAID. DID YOU GO TO STANFORD?
Jena: I WENT TO YOUR SCHOOL.
Stephen: THAT'S IT. WE RUN ALL OF OUR JOKES BY THIS
GUY. Jena: YEAH.
I THINK IT WAS A WOMAN, BUT WHATEVER.
[LAUGHTER] IT WAS FUNNY TO ME THE
CONVERSATION BECAME, COMEDIAN TWEETED THIS THING INSTEAD OF
"WOW, A CRITICAL MASS OF THE COUNTRY ACTUALLY BELIEVES THAT
IT CONVICTED SEX OFFENDER WOULD BE SPEAKING AT THE RNC" AS
OPPOSED TO JUST ONES THAT HAVEN'T YET BEEN CONVICTED.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Stephen: JENA, SO GOOD TO
HAVE YOU HERE. HER NEW BOOK, "NOT FUNNY,"
AND IT IS. IT'S AVAILABLE NOW.
JENA FRIEDMAN, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW" TUNE IN TOMORROW
WHERE MY GUESTS ARE RACHEL WEISZ AND DANNY TREJO
STICK AORUND FOR JAMES GOOD NIGHT!