>> THIS APRIL THE VACCINE WILL BE AVAILABLE TO THE ENTIRE
GENERAL POPULATION WITH THE EXCEPTION OF PLACES LIKE NEW
YORK STATE.
>> OH MY GOD, PRESIDENT TRUMP WITH THOSE COMMENTS ON FRIDAY
ABOUT WITHHOLDING A CORONAVIRUS VACCINE FROM NEW YORK STATE.
IT COMES AFTER GOVERNOR CUOMO SAID HE PLANNED TO HAVE A PANEL
OF EXPERTS REVIEW A VACCINE RATHER THAN TAKING THE WORD OF
THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
>> IT'S A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.
TONIGHT-- STEPHEN WELCOMES JAKE TAPPER.
AND MUSICAL GUEST BENNY FEATURING JON BATTISTE AND STAY
HOHMANN.
AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER, IT'S STEPHEN
COLBERT.
>> Stephen: WELCOME, WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO A LATE SHOW AND
PUPPET THEATER.
I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT, THAT WILL MAKE SENSE LATER.
NOW I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A GOOD WEEKEND, NOT THAT I AM CONCEDING
THAT THERE WAS A WEEKEND, THAT IS FOR THE COURTS TO DECIDE,
THE CORONAVIRUS CONTINUES TO SURGE ACROSS THE COUNTRY, AND
I'LL TELL YOU THE LATEST IN MY VIRAL SEGMENTS:
CATCH A THIRD WAVE: ENDLESS BUMMER.
>> HOT BLOODED, CHECK IT AND SEE.
YOU'LL HAVE A FEVER OF A 103!
HAHA, YEAH!
>> Stephen: GET OUT, GET OUT.
>> Stephen: THE BAD IS GETTING WORSE.
THIS WEEK ALONE, THE U.S. ADDED ONE MILLION NEW CORONAVIRUS
CASES.
BUT TOP MAGA SCIENTISTS HAVE A SOLUTION:
>> STOP THE COUNT!
STOP THE COUNT!
>> Stephen: AND THE WORST PART IS, THIS MIGHT NOT BE THE WORST,
BECAUSE THE HOLIDAYS ARE APPROACHING.
AS ONE HOSPITAL DIRECTOR WARNED: CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR'S EVE
PARTIES COULD LEAD TO A "GIANT, INTERGENERATIONAL CLUSTER."
NORMALLY IF YOU WANT TO SEE A GIANT INTERGENERATIONAL CLUSTER,
YOU HAVE TO ASK SANTA FOR PORNHUB PREMIUM.
SO I'VE HEARD.
LOCAL OFFICIALS ARE SCRAMBLING TO STOP THE SPREAD.
LOS ANGELES MAYOR ERIC GARCETTI ISSUED A STATEMENT, TELLING
CITIZENS, "CANCEL THOSE VACATION PLANS RIGHT NOW.
DO NOT SNEAK IN OTHER HOUSEHOLDS FOR THANKSGIVING."
I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND SAY THAT SECOND THING IS JUST GOOD ADVICE
UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
THERE'S A REASON YOU DON'T HEAR THIS AROUND THE HOLIDAY TABLE;
"OH, MY TURN?
UH, I GUESS I'M THANKFUL THAT YOU LEFT THE BASEMENT DOOR
UNLOCKED."
THANKFULLY, THERE'S ADVICE FROM PEOPLE WHO KNOW STUFF.
FOR INSTANCE, THE C.D.C. IS SUGGESTING AMERICANS HAVE
THANKSGIVING OUTSIDE.
OKAY, LATE NOVEMBER COULD GET LITTLE NIPPY.
SO INSTEAD OF A TURKEY I RECOMMEND SERVING EACH GUEST TWO
CORNISH GAME HENS, ONE FOR EACH HAND.
NOW ONCE YOU ARE OUTSIDE, THE CDC HAS PLENTY OF ADDITIONAL
SAFETY RECOMMENDATIONS SUCH AS USE DISPOSABLE ITEMS.
LIKE UTENSILS.
I'M SORRY, WHY?
DO OTHER PEOPLE SHARE THEIR SILVERWARE AT THANKSGIVING.
NANA COULD YOU PASS THE PEAS, ALSO YOUR FORK, THESE CARROTS
AREN'T THE SAME WITHOUT THE SWEET ZING OF FIXODENT.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT AT ALL.
I DON'T.
CDC ALSO RECOMMENDS BRING YOUR OWN FOOD.
SO JUST TELL YOUR AUNT YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY OF HER HOT FRUIT
CASSEROLE THIS YEAR BECAUSE IT IS DR. FAUCI'S ORDERS, NO OTHER
REASON, I LOVE HOT FRUIT.
THEY ALSO ADVISE USING SINGLE USE OPTIONS LIKE SALAD DRESSINGS
AND CONDIMENT PACKETS.
I KNEW TRA DREW I KNEW THAT DRAWER OF CONDIMENT
PACKETS WOULD COME IN HANDY.
"UNCLE CARL, HERE'S YOUR MASHED POTATOES AND A PACKET OF
TERIYAKI SAUCE FROM 1997.
IT'S GOT A PICTURE OF FRASIER ON IT.
REMEMBER FRASIER DAYS AT PANDA EXPRESS?"
SO, HOW DID THINGS GET SO BAD WITH COVID?
WELL, FOR STARTERS, THERE'S A COMPLETE VACUUM OF LEADERSHIP,
AND NOT JUST BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT SUCKS.
IT TURNS OUT HE HAS NOT ATTENDED A CORONAVIRUS TASKFORCE MEETING
IN "AT LEAST FIVE MONTHS."
OKAY, S IT'S NOVEMBER 16, FIVE MONTHS AGO WAS JUNE 16.
I'M SORRY, WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE OP-ED THAT THE HEAD OF THE
CORONAVIRUS TASK FORCE MIKE PENCE WROTE IN "THE WALL STREET
JOURNAL?" "THERE ISN'T A CORONAVIRUS
SECOND WAVE."
NO, JUST ONE GIANT TSUNAMI OF CRIMINAL STUPIDITY.
DR. FAUCI TRIED TO EXPLAIN THAT DR. FAUCI, EXCUSE ME, OH, THAT
JOKE BACKED UP ON ME.
DR. FAUCI TRIED TO EXPLAIN THAT THE PRESIDENT IS STILL GETTING
VITAL INFORMATION, KIND OF SORT OF.
>> WHEN WE HAVE A TASK >> WHEN WE HAVE OUR TASKFORCE
MEETING, IT'S RUN, AS YOU KNOW, BY VICE PRESIDENT PENCE.
AND THE VICE PRESIDENT THEN TRANSLATES THAT TO THE PRESIDENT
HIMSELF.
>> Stephen: GOD, I WOULD LOVE TO BE A FLY ON THE WALL, OR ON THE
PENCE, WHEN HE TRIED TO TRANSLATE THIS INFORMATION.
(AS PENCE) "MR. PRESIDENT, THIS IS DR.
BADNEWS BURGER.
HE HAS SOME INFORMATION TO SHARE WITH YOU."
(SILLY VOICE) "THIS IS AMERICA'S DARKEST HOUR!
HUH-OH-OH!" I'M DELICIOUS.
>> Stephen: WE MIGHT NEED THIS AGAIN.
THAT WAS THE TOUGHEST PART.
THANKFULLY THERE IS SOME GOOD COVID NEWS.
THIS MORE-MING, PHARMACEUTICAL GIANT MODERNA ANNOUNCED THAT
ACCORDING TO PRELIMINARY RESULTS THEIR CORONAVIRUS VACCINE IS
94.5 PERCENT EFFECTIVE.
THE GOOD NEWS IS THERE ARE AT LEAST TWO COVID VACCINES ON THE
HORIZON.
THE BAD NEWS IS THE PRESIDENT MAY NOT LET EVERY AMERICAN HAVE
THEM.
HERE IS WHAT HE SAID ON FRIDAY.
>> AS SOON AS APRIL THE >> AS SOON AS APRIL, THE
VACCINE WILL BE AVAILABLE TO THE ENTIRE GENERAL POPULATION, WITH
THE EXCEPTION OF PLACES LIKE NEW YORK STATE.
>> Stephen: SO YOU'LL HAVE TO GET THE VACCINE IN NEW JERSEY,
BUT JUST PICK IT UP ON YOUR WAY BACK FROM GETTING YOUR NEW LEGAL
WEED, WHICH PRELIMINARY TESTS SHOW IS 94.5% DANK.
SO THE PRESIDENT IS THREATENING TO WITHHOLD A LIFE-SAVING
VACCINE FROM HIS HOME STATE, BUT DON'T WORRY, HE HAS A GOOD
REASON: GOVERNOR CUOMO HURT HIS FEELINGS.
>> FOR POLITICAL REASONS, THE GOVERNOR DECIDED, THEY SAY--
AND, YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK IT'S GOOD, POLITICALLY; I THINK
IT'S VERY BAD FROM A HEALTH STANDPOINT-- BUT HE WANTS TO
TAKE HIS TIME WITH THE VACCINE.
HE DOESN'T TRUST WHERE THE VACCINE IS COMING FROM.
>> Stephen: WHAT THE GOVERNOR ACTUALLY SAID IS THAT NEW YORK,
LIKE CALIFORNIA, NEVADA, OREGON, AND WASHINGTON, WANTS TO VERIFY
THE FINDINGS.
FOR SOME REASON, CUOMO DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY TRUST THE GUY WHO
TOLD US TO DRINK BLEACH AND JAM SUNSHINE UP OUR BUTTS.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, IT'S BEEN ALMOST TWO WEEKS SINCE THE
ELECTION, AND THE PRESIDENT STILL CAN'T FACE THAT HE LOST.
AND I'LL GIVE YOU THE LATEST IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF OUR SEGMENT
THAT JUST WON'T LEAVE: >> YOU VOTED FOR ME!
YOU VOTED FOR ME!
>> "THE ROAD FROM THE WHITE HOUSE."
>> YOU VOTED FOR ME!
>> Stephen: WELL, IN A STUNNING RESULT THE PEACH STATE
GEORGIA HAS FINALLY BEEN CALLED MACKING THE ULTIMATE TALLY IN
THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE BIDEN WINNING WITH 306 TO 2326789
COINCIDENTALLY, THE EXACT SAME NUMBER OF ELECTORAL VOTES AS
20167.
SO, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THAT FINAL RESULT?
>> WE WON BY A LANDSLIDE.
A LANDSLIDE.
A TREMENDOUS LANDSLIDE.
>> Stephen: ♪ AND THE LANDSLIDE BROUGHT YOU DOWN ♪
( LAUGHS ) ♪ I ALSO HAD SEX WITH-- THAT IS
RIGHT UP THERE -- WITHOUT IS THE GUITAR CHRISTIE McVEE.
>> SORRY LINDS SEE BUCKINGHAM I HAD SOMETHING W IT WAS VERY
DARK, IT WAS VERY DARK, ALL I KNOW IS MUK FLEETWOOD CAN KEEP
TIME, MAN.
BIDEN, BIDEN FLIPPED FIVE STARTS, GEORGIA, ORAZIETTI
ARIZONA, MICHIGAN, PENNSYLVANIA AND WISCONSIN, JOE FLIPPED
STATES IN THE SUN BELT AND THE RUST BELT.
I GUESS THERE IS NOTHING SUBURBAN WOMEN LIKE MORE THAN A
REVERSIBLE BELT.
FACED WITH THE OVERWHELMING WHAT T
FACED WITH THE OVERWHELMING "WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED,"
YESTERDAY, THE NOW LAME-DUCK PRESIDENT QUACKED, OF JOE BIDEN,
"HE WON BECAUSE THE ELECTION WAS RIGGED."
YOU HAD ME AT "HE WON."
THE REST OF IT I JUST KIND OF GOT ALL WARM AND DREAMY FOR.
BUT THEN, THE DENIER-IN-CHIEF DECLARED BACKSIES, TWEETING,
"I WON THE ELECTION!" THAT IS THE DIGITAL EQUIVALENT
OF WAKING UP TO FIND GRANDPA SCREAMING ON THE LAWN.
SCREAMING ON THE LAWN IN HIS UNDERWEAR.
YOU CAN'T GIVE A STANDARD MENTAL COGNITION TEST BECAUSE THE FIRST
QUESTION IS WHO IS THE PRESIDENT.
NOW REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE SOON TO BE NOT PRESIDENT TWEETS, THE
ELECTION IS OVER AND THERE SHOULD BE NO DOUBT ABOUT THE
SECURITY AND FAIRNESS OF THE VOTING IN FACT FEDERAL AND STATE
GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS ISSUED A JOINT STATEMENT THURSDAY SAYING
THAT THIS YEAR'S ELECTION WAS THE MOST SECURE IN AMERICAN
HISTORY.
KIND OF IRONIC KIND OF IRONIC, SINCE IT
DEFEATED THE MOST INSECURE PRESIDENT IN AMERICAN HISTORY.
BUT ONE MEMBER OF THE ADMINISTRATION IS COMING TO
THEIR SENSES: NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISER AND ANDERSON STUPOR,
ROBERT O'BRIEN.
TODAY, O'BRIEN DARED TO SAY THIS ABOUT A POSSIBLE TRANSITION TO A
BIDEN ADMINISTRATION.
>> WE MAY HAVE POLICY DISAGREEMENTS, BUT, LOOK, IF
THE BIDEN-HARRIS TICKET IS DETERMINED TO BE THE WINNER AND
IT'S-- OBVIOUSLY THINGS LOOK THAT WAY NOW-- WE'LL HAVE A VERY
PROFESSIONAL TRANSITION FROM THE NATIONAL SECURITY COUNCIL,
THERE'S NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: NO SURPRISE THAT O'BRIEN IS STARTING TO EASE THE
BIG MAN OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE.
BEFORE SERVING AS NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISER, HE WAS
SPECIAL PRESIDENTIAL ENVOY FOR HOSTAGE AFFAIRS.
SO WE KNOW HOW THIS IS GOING TO END.
"SIR, LEAVE THE BUILDING NOW, AND WE WILL FULFILL YOUR LIST OF
DEMANDS: LEGAL IMMUNITY, A HIGHLY INACCURATE BATHROOM
SCALE, A BOTTOMLESS BUCKET OF K.F.C., YOU GET TO MEET THE
COLONEL, A LETTER FROM YOUR DAD SAYING THAT HE LOVES YOU, A
LETTER FROM THE COLONEL SAYING THAT HE LOVES YOU, AND A SECOND
BOTTOMLESS BUCKET OF K.F.C., AND A SECOND EVEN FALLER
SKYSCRAPER IN NEW YORK WITH YOUR NAME ON IT THAT ALSO, IF I AM
READING THIS RIGHT, HAS-- HAS-- -- THINK ABOUT THIS,
MEANWHILE INSTEAD OF ARGUING WITH A TOLDER, BIDEN IS CALMLY
PREPARING TO TAKE THE REIGNS OF THE GOVERNMENT, UNFORTUNATELY
THE GOVERNMENT HASN'T BEEN COMPANY RATING HE HAD HAS BEEN
DENIED OFFICE SPACE AND DIN-- WOMAN EXPLAINING WHY SHE
WILL CALL THE COPS ON THIS COOKOUTK EMILY MURPHY.
MURPHY WAS INSTALLED BY THE RESIDENT IN 2017 AND HAS
REMAINED A LOYALIST.
EVEN THOUGH BIDEN HAS AN INSURMOUNTABLE LEAD MURPHY HAS
SO FAR REFUSED TO CERTIFIED BIDEN AS THE ELECTIONS WINNER AS
THE PRESIDENT ATTEMPTS TO OVERTURN THE ELECTION RESULTS IN
COURT.
THAT COULTER THAT COURT CASE IS, OF COURSE,
SNOWBALL'S CHANCE V. HELL.
BUT MURPHY DOESN'T SEEM TO THINK THIS ADMINISTRATION WILL LAST
MUCH LONGER, BECAUSE A NEW REPORT SAYS THAT SHE RECENTLY
SENT A MESSAGE TO AN ASSOCIATE INQUIRING ABOUT EMPLOYMENT
OPPORTUNITIES IN 2021.
THIS IS SO UNFAIR!
SHE WON'T LET AMERICA MOVE ON, BUT SHE'S SEARCHING FOR THE NEXT
JOB?
WELL, SHE SHOULD FIND SOMETHING SUITABLE ON EnableAMonster.com.
THIS WEEKEND THERE WAS SOMETHING CALLED THE "MILLION MAGA MARCH,"
A PROTEST IN SUPPORT OF THE PRESIDENT'S FALSE CLAIM THAT HE
WAS CHEATED OUT OF AN ELECTION WIN.
NOW, THE THING ABOUT THE MILLION MAGA MARCH: IT WASN'T QUITE A
MILLION.
INSTEAD, ATTENDEES NUMBERED SOMEWHERE IN THE TENS OF
THOUSANDS RANGE.
10,000, A MILLION, THAT'S JUST HOW THEY COUNT.
YOU ROUND UP FOR MARCHES, ROUND DOWN FOR COVID DEATHS.
IT'S ALL IN THEIR TEXT BOOK, "BASIC ARITH-MAGA."
ONE PERSON CLEARLY NOT IN THE POCKET OF BIG REALITY: WHITE
HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY AND THIRD SISTER FROM "FROZEN" WHO
ACTUALLY WANTED THE TOWN TO DIE, KAYLEIGH McENANY.
McENANY TWEETED, "MORE THAN ONE MILLION MARCHERS FOR PRESIDENT
DESCEND ON THE SWAMP IN SUPPORT."
SO THE ADMINISTRATION ENDS AS IT BEGAN, LYING ABOUT CROWD SIZE.
THEY'VE COME FULL CIRCLE.
THAT'S JUST BASIC GEOM-MAGA.
OF COURSE, THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO MARCH.
AND IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE TO WANT TO HAVE ONE LAST MAGA.
NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, IT'S NO FUN TO LOSE.
AND IF YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE HANGING UP YOUR MAGA HAT, HERE
ARE SOME TIPS THAT MIGHT HELP YOU COPE WITH YOUR LOSS, FROM
PEOPLE WHO KNOW HOW IT FEELS: >> AND NOW A MESSAGE TO DONALD
TRUMP VOTERS FROM HILL RAE CLINTON VOTERS.
SO YOUR CANDIDATE LOST.
SORRY.
WE KNOW IT FEELS TERRIBLE.
WE HAVE BEEN THERE.
BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO MOVE ON.
SO HOWEVER YOU'RE FEELING, HERE ARE SOME COPING TIPS THAT HELPED
US GET THROUGH THE LAST FOUR YEARS.
YOU HAVE GOT TO FEEL YOUR FEELINGS.
WE KNOW IT IS EMBARRASSING.
SO FIND A SAFE SPACE LIKE MAYBE A BUFFALO WILD WINGS.
PRACTICE SELF-CARE.
TAKE A BUBBLE BATH.
MAYBE CRY WHILE YOU LISTEN TO WHATEVER PANDORA PLAYS WHEN YOU
SEARCH ACOUSTIC SAD.
♪ I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL.
♪.
>> PRACTICE DIRECT ACTION.
CONTACT YOUR GOVERNMENT REPRESENTATIVES.
FOR BEST RESULTS DON'T THREATEN TO KIDNAP THEM.
STILL CRUSHED?
THEN IT'S TIME TO BREAK OUT YOUR BLENDER.
WE RECOMMEND A BOTTLE OF BOURBON AND PINT OF FUDGE BROWNIE ICE
CREAM TO MAKE WHAT WE CALL BREAKFAST.
OR IF YOU ARE FEELING REALLY OVERWHELMED, JUST TWEET ANY
VAGUE STATEMENT OF HOPE FOLLOWED BY THE HASHTAG RESISTANCE.
WE WON'T BE NEEDING IT ANY MORE, SNOWFLAKE.
BY THE WAY, SNOWFLAKES ARE BEAUTIFUL AND UNIQUE.
NOT SURE HOW IT GOT TURNED INTO AN INSULT.
WE DON'T MEAN IT THAT WAY.
SO CHIB UP.
WE'LL SIGH YOU IN FOUR YEARS.
IN THE MEAN TIME, YOU CAN STILL DRINK FROM YOUR LIBERAL TEARS
MUG.
JUST REMEMBER NOW THEY'RE TEARS OF JOY.
>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
MY GUEST IS JAKE TAPPER.
BUT WHEN WE RETURN I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT A COUNTRY THAT IS ALMOST
AS BAD AT HANDLING COVID AS WE ARE.
STUCK AROUND.
>> Stephen: I WAS JUST COMPLIMENTING WHOEVER WAS WORK
ON THE DESK WILE I WAS AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND BECAUSE I GOT THE
BONE HERE WITH MY NAME ON IT.
AND THERE WERE SOME BONE MARKS ON THE DESK.
ANG SOMEBODY CLEANED THE BONE SHADERS OFF PIE DESK.
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT.
A LOT OF THE NEWCOMERS IN THE LATE NIGHT WORLD HAVE TO KNOW,
YOU HAVE TO CLEAN ALL THE BONE SHADERS OFF YOUR DESK AT THE END
OF THE WEEK OR IT BUILDS UP, IT BUILDS UP.
HEY, EVERYBODY, WITH THAT BIT OF WISDOM OUT OF THE WAY LET'S SAY
HELLO TO OUR FRIEND MR. JON BATISTE.
HELLO JON BATISTE.
>> Jon: HELLO, STEPHEN COLBERT, GET THE BONE SHADERS
AWAY, COME ON.
>> Stephen: NOW JON, HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND?
>> Jon: THE WEEKEND WAS BLESSED, I AM GLAD TO SEE A LOT
OF THINGS.
I WILL SAY THAT.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
FOR VISION ITSELF OR JUST THE THINGS YOU ARE SEEING IN THE
WORLD.
>> Jon: BOTH.
I THINK THE THINGS I'M SEEING IN THE WORLD ARE PROMISING.
AND YOU KNOW, IT'S STILL A ROUGH TIME BUT I THINK WE ARE MOVING
OUT OF IT.
I'M GOING TO SPEAK THAT INTO EXISTENCE.
>> Stephen: GOOD, GOOD, THROW IT OUT THERE.
LIKE AN ANCHOR, PULL YOURSELF TOWARD IT ON THE ROPE OF YOUR
HOPE.
>> Jon: I LIKE THAT.
THAT IS DEECH.
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY, THANK YOU, JON.
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
>> Stephen: SO FOLKS, IF THE PRESIDENT IS LISTENING TO A TASK
FORCE AND HE'S NOT, WHO IS ELISE ENING TO.
ENTER CORONAVIRUS ADVISOR AND VITAMIN SALESMAN EXPLAINING WHY
THIS ACTUALLY ISN'T A PYRAMID SCHEME, SCOTT ATLAS.
UNLIKE EXPERTS LIKE DR. FAUCI AND DR. BIRX, ATLAS' PLAN IS FOR
AMERICANS TO INFECT EACH OTHER SO MUCH THEY ACHIEVE SOMETHING
CALLED HERD IMMUNITY.
HERTURD BECAUSE THERE IS A BILE PILE OF BEUL BEEP BLEEP.
A LOT OF PEOPLE DIE UNDER THE SCENARIO OF HE ARE, D IMMUNITY,
UNLIKE DR. FAUCI AND DR. BIRX, IS HE NOT AN IMNOL GUEST, IS HE
A NEURORADIOLOGIST THAT DOES NOT HAVE A BACKGROUND IN INFECTIOUS
DISEASES OR EPIDEMIOLOGY AN HASN'T PRACTICED MEDICINE IN
NEARLY A DECADE.
CALL ME A DREAMER BUT SLUNT THE PERSON CALLED TO LEAD IN THE
PANDEMIC BE AN EXPERT IN I DON'T KNOW, A PANDEMIC.
IF MY LAPTOP BREAKS I TAKE IT TO THE GENIUS BAR, NOT TO A
SEMIRETIRED PODIATRIST.
SO WHERE DID THIS GUY COME FROM.
WELL, THE PRESIDENT BROUGHT ATLAS ABOARD LARGELY DUE TO HIS
FREQUENT FOX NEWS APPEARANCES IN WHICH HE DOWNPLAYED THE VIRUS.
SO HE IS AN AWFUL, AWFUL PICK FOR MEDICAL ADVISOR.
BUT SLIGHTLY BETTER THAN THE PRESIDENT'S SECOND CHOICE FROM
FOX NEWS DR. WALK-IN BATHTUB.
ATLAS HAS BEEN DOING WHAT ANY RESPONSIBLE PHYSICIAN DOES
DURING A PANDEMIC.
INCITING VIOLENCE IN RESPONSE TO NEW LOCKDOWN MEASURES IN
MICHIGAN, ATLAS TWEETED THE ONLY WAY THIS STOPS IS IF PEOPLE RISE
UP.
NO, THE ONLY WAY THIS STOPS IS IF PEOPLE STAY HOME.
THAT IS LIKE SAYING THE ONLY WAY TO STOP THE WAR ON DRUGS IS IF
PEOPLE DO ALL THE DRUGS.
THEN THERE WILL BE NO MORE DRUGS LEFT.
REMEMBER KIDS, JUST SAY BLOW.
BUT ATLAS DENIED TRYING TO START ANYTHING TWEETING HEY, I WAS
NEVER TALKING AT ALL ABOUT VIOLENCE.
NEVER WOULD I ENDORSE OR INCITE VIOLENCE.
NEVER, YES, HE DOESN'T WANT PEOPLE TO DIE FROM VIOLENCE.
HE JUST WANTS PEOPLE TO DIE.
ONE PLACE THAT RESISTED LOCKDOWN AND GAVE HRKSZ ERD IMMUNITY A
WHIRL IS SWEDEN.
THEY HAVE BEEN SEEN AS SORT OF THE EXPERIMENTAL COUNTRY FOR ALL
OF THIS.
I WILL TELL YOU REGARDLESS OF WHAT ATLAS SAYS, THE RESULTS
HAVE NOT BEEN GOOD, SWEDEN PER CAPITA DEATH RATE FROM THE
CORONAVIRUS IS ONE OF THE HIGHEST IN THE WORLD.
THAT MAKES SENSE, AFTER ALL DEATH DEATH IS SWEDISH.
WELL, THIS WEEKEND THERE WAS A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT FROM SWEDEN'S
CHIEF EPIDIMIOLOGIST ANDERS HEADMEL SEEN HERE ON THE BACK
JACKET OF A CRIME NOVEL THAT WILL BE TURNED INTO A MINI
SERIES.
IN LIGHT OF A HUGE FIGHT IN HOVMENTIZATIONS HE ADMITTED THAT
SWEDEN'S LET THEM CATCH IT POLICY DIDN'T DO MUCH TO
INCREASE NATIONAL IMMUNITY ADDING WE SEE COMMUNITY SPREAD
IN MANY REGIONS SIMULTANEOUSLY RIGHT NOW.
WHICH THE SWEDISH GOVERNMENT EXPLAINED IN THIS HELPFUL PSA.
>> COVID-19, NO VACCINE.
♪ GO BACK TO QUARANTINE.
>> Stephen: YOU GOT TO LAND IT, ADMITTING YOUR PUBLIC HEALTH
POLICY DID NOT WORK TAKES SOME BRASS LINGONBERRY.
I WANT TO SAY WE SHOULD NOT BE TAKING MEDICAL ADVICE FROM
SWEDEN AS ATLAS SEEMS TO BE DOING.
THEY SEEM SMART BUT THEY ARE MOSTLY JUST BLOND AND TALL.
I WANT TO MAKE A LIST RIGHT NOW, I WILL TAKE SWEDEN TO TASK FOR
THE NUMBER OF THINGS THAT THEY HAVE SHANKED.
LET ME GET READY FOR IT.
HOLD ON.
HERE WE GO.
I WANT TO POINT OUT WHEN I PUT THIS ON.
ORIGINALLY IN THIS BIT I WAS GOING TO BE SWEDISH WITH THE
ACCENT AND EVERYTHING.
AND THEN I CHANGED IT TO BE JUST YELLING IN SWEDEN AND DECIDED TO
KEEP THE OUTFIT CUZ IT'S DUMB, IT'S-- DO I LOOK DUMB?
>> NO, SIR.
>> NO.
THANK YOU, MARK.
HERE SAY NUMBER OF THINGS THAT SWEDEN HAS SHANKED, NUMBER ONE
PICKLED HERRING.
WE HAVE HAD REFRIGERATION FOR A HUNDRED YEARS, STOP IT.
OKAY.
HERE IS ANOTHER ONE MAYBE THE STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY OF ALL THE
FURNITURE FROM HOME SHOULDN'T DEPEND ON WOODEN DOWELL AGE
ALLEN WRENCH.
THE SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM, SHOULD NOT BE FUNDED BY THE SWEDISH
GOVERNMENT.
I DON'T EVEN THINK BIKINI IS AN OLYMPIC SPORT, HEY SWEDES YOU
NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY THE OLDEST SURVIVING ENGLISH LANGUAGE POEM
BEOWOLF TAKES PLACE IN SWEND-- SWEDEN I DE
WHICH-- BLACK LICORICE, TOUGH ENOUGH WITHOUT THE SALT.
MEATBALLS, THEY'RE DELICIOUS, THEY SHOULD BE LARGER.
OKAY.
MANY WITH THE LINGEN BERRY JAM TRK IS A WEIRD IMING, JAM AND
MEATBALLS AND I AM A HUGE FAN OF THE SKARSGARD, YOU CAN'T HAVE
SKARSGARD AND-- PICK A LANE.
HAVE I ONE FINAL MESSAGE FOR YOU AND I WILL GIVE IT TO YOU IN
YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE.
♪ I ASSUME ALL OF THAT WAS CURSING.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CNN'S JAKE TAPPER.
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS, JOINING
ME TONIGHT IS AN EMMY AWARD-WINNING JOURNALIST AND
AUTHOR WHO HOSTS THE LEAD AND STATE OF THE UNION ON CNN,
PLEASE WELCOME JAKE TAPPER.
HELLO, JAKE.
THANK YOU FOR JOINING US FROM THE NEWS CHAMBER.
THAT IS A VERY-- ARE YOU IN A MUSEUM EXHIBIT RIGHT NOW?
>> MY OFFICE IS DECORATED WITH THE POSTERS OF PEOPLE WHO RAN
FOR PRESIDENT AND LOST.
AND DID NOT WIN.
AND SO YOU MIGHT RECOGNIZE THIS FELLOW, A MEMBER OF YOUR CHURCH.
>> Stephen: OF COURSE, AL SMITH OF DINNER FAME.
>> AND WHO ELSE DO WE HAVE.
>> Stephen: I SEE THE HILLRIES, I GOT THOSE.
>> YOU HAVE THE HILLRIES, JOHN ASHBROOK FOR PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT
RICHARD NIXON WAS TOO LIBERAL.
>> Stephen: GEORGE WALLACE.
DIXIE UP THERE.
>> THERE SAY BIG STROM THURMOND OVER THERE THAT IS A COLLECTORS
EDITION BUT I FELT SO GROSS PUTTING IT UP, I STUCK A STOKELY
CARMICHAEL ON IT TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE UNDERSTOOD I'M NOT DOWN
WITH STROM.
>> Stephen: LET ME ASK YOU ABOUT THIS OFFICE, IS THIS YOUR
OFFICE AT CNN OR A HOME OFFICE.
>> NO, THIS IS MY-- MY WIFE WOULD NEVER LET ME HAVE THIS
STUFF AT HOME.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU BEEN ALLOWED TO GO HOME THIS FALL?
BECAUSE I KNOW IT WAS A FIVE DAY PERIOD THAT ANY TIME I TURNED ON
THE TELEVISION YOU WERE AT THE DESK.
DID YOU-- DID YOU ACTUALLY LIKE SLEEP IN YOUR OFFICE OR
SOMETHING?
DID YOU GO HOME AT ALL FOR THOSE FIVE DAYS AND YOU HAVE
RECOVERED.
>> I DID GO HOME.
EVEN IF JUST LIKE GO HOME, EVERYBODY IS ASLEEP, WAKE UP
BEFORE EVERYBODY WAKES UP WHICH IS WEIRD, RIGHT, IT'S WEIRD.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> I AM STILL CATCHING UP WITH THE SLEEP.
I'M STILL CATCHING UP.
BUT I'M GOOD, I'M FAIRLY RECOVERED.
>> Stephen: DID YOU GUYS HAVE TO LOWER JOHN KING INTO LIKE AN
ICE BATH EVERY DAY, HE NEVER SEEN SAT DOWN, YOU HAD A CHAIR.
>> JOHN IS ACTUALLY AN ANDROID, AS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BE
FAMILIAR.
>> Stephen: OH NO, ALL THE EVIDENCE IS THERE.
>> WE'VE CONSTRUCTED HIM.
I MEAN HOW DO YOU THINK HE WORKS THAT MACHINE SO WELL.
>> Stephen: NO EMOTION, ABSOLUTELY.
>> YES, HE FINDS IT FUN.
>> Stephen: THERE HAVE BEEN FOUR AREAS OF NO SLEEP THOUGH.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: I, I, I POINTED OUT THE OTHER DAY THAT SOMEONE
HAD PUT UP A VERY LOVELY PHOTO OF YOU.
AND I SAID IT WAS VERY NICE FOR SOMEONE TO PUT UP YOUR PROM
PHOTO IS WHEN CNN WON THE WEEK.
HE SAID YES, THOSE FOUR YEARS HAVE AGED US.
I WANT TO POINT OUT, THIS IS YOU, THIS IS YOU IN 2016.
BEFORE ALL THIS MISHUGA.
AND THIS IS YOU TODAY, THIS IS-- OKAY.
BY BEFORE YOU GET MAD AT ME FOR POINTING THIS OUT, THIS IS ME IN
2016, OKAY.
THIS IS ME TODAY, TWO ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHS OF ME.
>> CAN I SAY.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> TO OUTGOING PRESIDENT TRUMP, CREDIT, HE LOOKS THE EXACT SAME.
HE LOOKS THE EXACT SAME.
HE IS THE ONLY PRESIDENT IN THE HISTORY OF THIS COUNTRY WHO HAS
NOT AGED A DAY.
IT'S JUST WE ALL AGED 30 YEARS.
>> Stephen: YES, WE'RE THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY T IS NOT
SUPPOSED TO WORK THAT WAY.
>> LIKE BARACK OBAMA, WHEN HE STARTED HE WAS YOUNG, HE WAS
LIKE A WILL SMITH, EIGHT YEARS LATER, MORGAN FREEMAN.
>> Stephen: YEAH, BUT VERY DISTINGUISHED.
>> IT HAPPENS.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU READ HIS BOOK YET?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: 701, HOW MUCH?
700 AND PAGES, I LOVED IT, IT WAS GREAT.
>> IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A MEMOIR.
AND NOW IT'S AT LEAST GOING TO BE TWO VOLUMES.
MY GUESS IS IT WILL END UP BEING AT LEAST FIVE.
>> Stephen: IT IS LIKE HE IS HIS OWN ROBERT CARO.
NOW YOU, WE ARE STILL IN WEIRD LIMBO RIGHT NOW.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHERE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE GUY WHO IS LEAVING
IS GOING TO DO OR HOW HE'S GOING TO HANDLE THE PROSPECT OF
LEAVING.
WHAT IS THAT LIKE-- WHAT DOES THAT DO TO YOU JOURNALISTS WHO
ARE ACTUALLY HAVING TO REPORT ON WHAT'S HAPPENING.
>> WE KNOW HOW IS HE GOING TO HANDLE IT IN ONE SENSE, WE KNOW
IT IS GOING TO BE POORLY.
HE'S NOT DEALING WITH DEFEAT WELL.
HE'S NOT ACCEPTED IT.
SO WHAT IS IT LIKE DEALING WITH IT, I MEAN I JUST THINK PART OF
IT IS JUST EXPLAINING TO PEOPLE HE LOST.
THAT IS THE REALITY.
THERE IS NO LEGAL PALT PATH, ALL OF THESE LAWSUITS WITH A COUPLE
OF EXCEPTIONS ARE RIDICULOUS.
THERE IS NO WAY HE IS GOING TO OVERTURN ENOUGH VOTES IN ENOUGH
STATES IT IS JUST NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE GUESTS THAT COME ON AND SAY WELL, WE'LL
SEE.
>> NO.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T?
>> NO, I DON'T BOOKS TO GUESTS.
>> Stephen: NOT ANY MORE.
>> I STOPPED BOOKING JUST OUT AND OUT LIARS AWHILE AGO.
BUT I MEAN YEAH, NO, JOE BIDEN WILL BE SWORN IN ON JANUARY
20th, 2021.
PERIOD.
>> Stephen: WE'LL SEE.
WE'LL SEE.
>> NO, THERE IS NO WE'LL SEE.
>> Stephen: A LOT OF CURT CASES OUT THERE, JAKE.
>> I LOOKED THAT A BUNCH OF THEM, YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> AND THEY'RE NONSENSE.
LIKE IT'S HONESTLY, IT'S LIKE-- BECAUSE THE STANDARD OF
EVIDENCE IN A COURT ROOM SAY LITTLE HIGHER THAN ON TWITTER.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> SO AS DONALD TRUMP SAYS, WE DON'T HAVE ANY OBSERVERS IN THAT
PHILADELPHIA CONVENTION CENTER COUNTING ROOM.
AND THEN SOMEBODY TRIES TO PRESENT THAT, IN COURT.
AND THE JUDGE SAYS HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE.
HOW MANY OBSERVERS AND THE LAWYER SHEEPISHLY SAYS WE HAVE
A, THIS SAY QUOTE, THERE IS A NONZERO NUMBER.
A NONZERO NUMBER OF OBSERVERS.
>> Stephen: SO SOME.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND I BELIEVE THE JUDGE THEN SAID GET THE [BLEEP]
OUT.
>> RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> Stephen: BUT JAKE, I WANT TO HE ARE MIND YOU, I WANT TO
REMIND YOU THAT RUDY GIULIANI IS IN CHARGE NOW, RUDY IS IN THE
DRIVER'S SEAT NOW, ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN.
PHYSICAL LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE NO LONGER APPLY IF RUDY IS GOING TO
TAKE OVER THIS THING.
>> I THINK ANYBODY WHO WATCHED THE PRESS CONFERENCE AT FOUR
SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING NORTH OF THE BRUJ RIGHT NEAR THE SEX
SHOP AND ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE CREMATORIUM WHERE HE
PRESENTED HIS EVIDENCE WHICH INCLUDED SOMEBODY FROM NEW
JERSEY WHO WAS A REGISTERED SEX O FIPPEDDER, I THINK ANYBODY WHO
SAW THAT WOULD THINK THIS IS THE CLARENCE DAR OWE OF OUR
TIME-- DARROW OF OUR TIME.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK BUT WHEN WE COME BACK I
WILL ASK JAKE ABOUT HIS KFERTIONZ WITH ANTHONY FAUCI
ABOUT HOW THO LACK OF TRANSITION IS GOING TO SLOW DOWN COVID
PREPAREDNESS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK WITH JAKE TAPPER.
YOU INTERVIEWED FAUCI YESTERDAY.
>> I DID.
>> Stephen: WHAT DID HE HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THE DELAYED
TRANSITION?
IS THAT GOING TO MAKE IT HARDER FOR THE GOVERNMENT TO DO THE
DISTRIBUTION?
ARE WE ALL LESS SAFE BECAUSE OF THAT?
>>.
>> I MEAN YEAH, OF COURSE.
HE SAID AS A PUBLIC HEALTH'S PERSPECTIVE OF COURSE IT WOULD
BE BETTER TO BE WORKING WITH THE BIDEN-HARRIS TEAM TO BE ABLE TO
PREPARE FOR THE TRANSITION AND PRESIDENT-ELECT BIEDEN SAID AS
MUCH TODAY.
I MEAN, THEY ARE GOING TO BE TAKING OVER.
THEY NEED TO BE READY TO GO.
AND YOU KNOW, THEY SAY THEY NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE PLANS ARE.
THE WHITE HOUSE, SOME PRESS SECRETARY AT THE WHITE HOUSE
SAID HERE'S THE PLAN AND HE JUST, THERE WAS SOME LINK TO THE
PUBLIC PLAN AS IF THAT IS ALL THAT IS NEEDED.
YEAH, I MEAN.
IT'S JUST-- IT IS HARD TO COME UP WITH A SENSE OF DISMAY THAT I
FEEL COVERING THIS JUST BECAUSE IT'S JUST THE TRANSFER OF POWER.
WE GO THROUGH THIS EVERY FOUR TO EIGHT YEARS.
AND THIS KABOOKI, THIS PRETENSE THAT EVERYBODY SHOULD BE
CODDLING DONALD TRUMP'S FEELINGS LIKE HE IS A FIVE YEAR OLD WHOSE
PET TURTLE JUST DIED.
LIKE WE SHOULD ALL JUST WORRY ABOUT HIM AND NOT LIKE HAVE
PEOPLE DOING WHAT IN THE MILL TARYL THEY CALL RIGHT SEAT LEFT
SEAT WHICH IS PREPARING TO TAKE OVER.
I JUST DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY EXCEPT, YOU KNOW, THIS WILL
BE OVER BY JANUARY 209, PRESUMABLY.
>> Stephen: IN 2018 YOU TOLL ME YOU JUST WANT FACTS TO BE
RESPECTED AGAIN IN THIS COUNTRY.
DO YOU SEE THAT HAPPENING, JAKE TAPPER.
>> NO, IT'S EVEN WORSE TODAY THAN IT WAS IN 2018.
THAT IS ONE OF THE LESSONS OF THIS ENTIRE ERA IS NO MATTER HOW
BAD ST ON IF I GIVEN DAY, TOMORROW WILL BE WORSE.
>> Stephen: BUT DO YOU THINK THAT MAYBE LIKE THAT COMES FROM
THE TOP AND THAT SOMEBODY AT THE TOP NOW IS GOING LIKE YEAH, I
ACCEPT THOSE FACTS.
MIGHT ACTUALLY TRICKLE DOWN.
>> THEY RECEIPTICALLY THAT IS THE HOPE FOR THOSE OF US WHO
WILL IN THE FACT-LOVING BUSINESS.
BUT YES, I MEAN LOOK, THE PRESIDENT IS LYING ABOUT TWO
THINGS RIGHT NOW.
ONE IS HOW BAD THE PANDEMIC IS.
AND IT IS HORRIBLE.
AND IT IS GETTING WORSE.
AND TWO IS THE ELECTION RESULTS.
SO THESE ARE SERIOUS THINGS OF MAJOR CONSEQUENCE.
AND TENSE OF MILLIONS OF AMERICANS BELIEVE HIS LIE.
AND THAT IS JUST DISTRESSING.
>> Stephen: LET'S MOVE ON TO SOMETHING MORE HAPPY, OKAY.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: HAPPIER, I THINK THEY CALL THAT.
YOUR BOOK FROM-- YOUR NOVEL, IT WAS THE 2018 HELL FIRE CLUB, IS
BEING A DAMENTED INTO A TV, IS IT A SERIES, IS IT.
>> A TV SERIES, YEAH.
>> Stephen: IT IS ALL ABOUT LIKE INTRIGUE IN WASHINGTON D.C.
IN THE 1950S, RIGHT.
>> 1950S, JOE McCARTHY.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> ANY CHANCE FOR A TAPPER CAMIO?
BECAUSE ONE OF THE CHARACTERS HAS AN ACUTE SENSE OF SMELL
WHICH WE KNOW THAT YOU HAVE.
>> THAT'S TRUE.
BUT THAT CHARACTER IS THE HERO AND I AM NOT YOUNG, HANDSOME OR
TALENTED ENOUGH TO BE THAT PERSON.
I MIGHT, I MIGHT DO A CAMIO BUT I WILL TELL YOU SOMETHING, YOU,
YOU ACTUALLY SHOULD BE IN IT.
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ACTUALLY HAVE ACTING CHOPS.
AND THERE ARE SOME ROLES IN IT THAT, I MEAN WHAT ABOUT SENATOR
ESTES KEYFAFFER FROM TENNESSEE.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU KIDDING, HE WAS A VICE PRESIDENTIAL
CANDIDATE, AT ONE POINT.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: WITH ICE, IN THE WITH.
>> >> Stephen: ADELAIDE
STEVENSON.
>> YOU WOULD BE GOOD AT THAT.
YOU WOULD BE GOOD IN THAT ROLE.
>> Stephen: PEOPLE HAVE OFTEN CALLED ME KEYFAWFERRESQUE.
JAKE, WE HAVE TO GO, THANKS STO MUCH FOR STOPPING BY.
I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO TELL
PEOPLE.
>> EVERY YEAR I HAVE AN AUCTION TO RAISE MONEY FOR WOUNDED
VETERANS TO BUILD HOMES FORCE THEM.
YOU ALWAYS, YOU ALWAYS KICK IN WITH A VISIT TO THE SET AND A
MEET AND GREET, IT VERY GENEROUS.
THIS YEAR OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE OF THE PANDEMIC ARE YOU NOT DOING
THAT.
YOU DONATED A ZANEIOUS SUIT, PEOPLE CAN GO TO eBAY.COM/HFOT
HOMES FOR OUR TROOPS AND ALL OF YOUR STANDS, ALL OF THE COLBERT
STANDS CAN BID ON YOUR SUIT AND GET THAT MONEY GOING FOR THE
WOUNDED VETERAN.
>> Stephen: I SUIT I ACTUALLY WORE ON THE SHOW AND JUST MOILD
MILDLY SOILED.
WELL.
>> WELL, I HOPE NOT TOO MUCH BECAUSE I'M ONE MUCH THE
BIDDERS.
>> Stephen: NO, IT IS DRY CLEANED, OBVIOUSLY, DRY CLEANED,
JAKE, ALL BEEN STERILIZED.
>> WITH THE BLOOD OF YOUR LEAST FAVORITE GUEST.
>> Stephen: THE LEAD WITH JAKE TAPPER AIRS WEEKDAYS ON CNN.
HIS NAME IS JAKE TAPPER, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY BENI.
THANK YOU, JAKE.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
Stephen: A CELEBRATION AS PRESIDENT TRUMP'S MOTORCADE
DROVE THROUGH DOWNTOWN WASHINGTON.
THE EVENT BILLED AS A MILLION MAGA MARCH.
>> FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP WILE YOU CAN BECAUSE THE GUY HE PUT IN
CHARGE OF THE COUP IS RUDY GIULIANI SO I GUARANTEE TRUMP
WILL BE GONE IN TWO MONTHS.
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.
PERFORMING "HAPPEN TO ME" FROM HER DEBUT ALBUM, "HEY U X,"
BENEE.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ HOPE I DON'T DIE
INSIDE A PLANE ♪ I'D LIKE TO DIE
A BETTER WAY ♪ AND IF I LIVE
TO AN OLD AGE ♪ I WOULD HAVE SEEN
EVERYTHING CHANGE ♪ I UNDERSTAND
WHY PEOPLE LEAVE ♪ BUT LEAVING SEEMS
SCARY TO ME ♪ I THINK ABOUT THESE
THINGS TOO MUCH ♪ MY MIND LIKES TO
WIND ITSELF UP ♪ AND I DON'T GET
A LOT OF SLEEP ♪ 'CAUSE WHAT IF THEY
HAPPEN TO ME?
♪ 'CAUSE WHAT IF THEY HAPPEN TO ME?
♪ YEAH, WHAT IF THEY HAPPEN TO ME?
♪ WHAT IF MY ROOM ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ WHAT IF MY ROOM BURNS DOWN IN FLAMES?
♪ AND I DIE IN MY SLEEP AND NEVER WAKE
♪ YOU SAY I SHOULDN'T BE THIS WAY
♪ BUT I DON'T THINK THAT I CAN CHANGE
♪ I THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS TOO MUCH
♪ MY MIND LIKES TO WIND ITSELF UP
♪ AND I DON'T GET A LOT OF SLEEP
♪ 'CAUSE WHAT IF THEY HAPPEN TO ME?
♪ YEAH, WHAT IF THEY HAPPEN TO ME?
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ I THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS TOO MUCH
♪ MY MIND LIKES TO WIND ITSELF UP
♪ AND I DON'T GET A LOT OF SLEEP
♪ 'CAUSE WHAT IF THEY HAPPEN TO ME? ♪
>> Stephen: BENEE, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE FORMULA ONE CHAMPION
LEWIS HAMILTON, AND MUSICAL GUEST, ANDREA BOCELLI.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.
Captioning sponsored by CBS Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org