1 00:00:01,626 --> 00:00:04,087 >> HOW DO YOU DISTRIBUTE MILLIONS OF PFIZER'S COVID 19 2 00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:06,631 VACCINES ACROSS THE COUNTRY? 3 00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:10,135 WIDESPREAD SHIPPING, OF COURSE, IS NOTHING NEW, BUT SUBZERO 4 00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:12,220 WIDESPREAD SHIPPING, WE'VE NEVER DONE THAT. 5 00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:16,599 >> THE PFIZER VACCINE REQUIRES STORAGE IN SPECIAL ULTRA-COLD 6 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:19,352 FREEZERS. 7 00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:24,023 LEFT OUT TOO LONG AT ROOM TEMPERATURE, AND IT SPOILS. 8 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:28,194 ( BELL RINGING ) >> HERE COMES MR. SOFTEE, THE 9 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:32,198 SOFT ICE CREAM MAN! 10 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:48,131 >> HEY, MR. SOFTEE, DO YOU THINK THEY'LL EVER COME UP WITH A CURE 11 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:55,680 FOR HAVING AN ICE CREAM CONE FOR A HEAD? 12 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:58,266 >> (LAUGHING) NO, LITTLE TIMMY, I DON'T, BECAUSE WHAT MR. SOFTEE 13 00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:01,144 HAS ISN'T ANY SORT OF OF DISEASE. 14 00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:05,857 WHAT MR. SOFTEE HAS IS -- ( SUSPENSFUL SOUNDS ) 15 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:08,193 -- A CURSE. 16 00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:10,361 ( LIGHTNING AND THUNDER ) >> Announcer: IT'S A "LATE 17 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,619 SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT! 18 00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:20,789 TONIGHT, VACCINATION. 19 00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:27,504 PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES CHRISTOPHER WALKEN AND CHANCE 20 00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:31,341 THE RAPPER, WITH A SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY LAURA BENANTI. 21 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,052 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HOMIN." 22 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:37,347 NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE BUILDING 23 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:43,812 IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 24 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,730 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 25 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:49,859 WELCOME TO A "LATE SHOW." 26 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:52,278 I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. 27 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:55,865 HUGE NEWS-- JUST MOMENTS BEFORE TONIGHT'S TAPING, THE ELECTORAL 28 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:59,202 COLLEGE OFFICIALLY CERTIFIED THAT JOE BIDEN WON THE 2020 29 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:03,039 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. 30 00:02:03,122 --> 00:02:03,540 AGAIN! 31 00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:06,167 HE DID IT! 32 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,418 HE'S STILL THE WINNER! 33 00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:11,548 AT THIS POINT, JOE BIDEN HAS WON THE ELECTION SO MANY TIMES, HE'S 34 00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:14,175 OUR 46TH THROUGH 51ST PRESIDENT. 35 00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:17,720 THIS IS ALSO BIG NEWS, BECAUSE THIS MEANS-- AFTER SIX AGONIZING 36 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,849 WEEKS-- THE ELECTION IS FINALLY OVER. 37 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,560 STICK A FORK IN THE PRESIDENT HE'S DONE. 38 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,228 ALSO, KEEP THAT FORK HANDY BECAUSE POKING HIM IN THE BUTT 39 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:29,732 MIGHT BE THE ONLY WAY TO GET HIM OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE. 40 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,568 I'LL GIVE YOU THE LATEST WHINING IN WHAT I HOPE IS THE FINAL 41 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:36,614 INSTALLMENT OF A FAR-TOO-LONG-RUNNING SEGMENT: 42 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:39,576 ♪ WHEN HAIR DYE LEAKED FROM RUDY'S HEAD 43 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:43,580 ♪ THROW OUT ALL THE VOTES DEPRESSED AND COVERED 44 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:47,584 ♪ IN SPRAY TAN THROW OUT ALL THE VOTES 45 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:55,592 ♪ GO DOWN PROUD BOYS BOOGALOO AND KU KLUX KLAN 46 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:59,804 ♪ TELL OL' ALITO THROW OUT ALL THE VOTES ♪ 47 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:05,977 >> "THE ROAD FROM THE WHITE HOUSE." 48 00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:10,231 >> Stephen: THESE ARE GETTING LONGER, AND I LOVE 'EM, LESS 49 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:13,735 WORK FOR ME, I'LL GRANT YOU THAT. 50 00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,612 LOOKS LIKE THE PRESIDENT HAS FINALLY RUN THROUGH ALL THE 51 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:16,613 POSSIBLE WAYS HE CAN DESTROY OUR DEMOCRACY, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN 52 00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:19,616 HIS MONTHS-LONG ASSAULT HASN'T DONE SOME DAMAGE. 53 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:20,408 I MEAN, JUST GETTING THE RUDY STAINS OUT OF THE CARPET ALONE 54 00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:23,620 IS GOING TO TAKE SOME ELBOW GEASE. 55 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:27,123 I THINK THAT'S WHAT WAS RUNNING DOWN HIS FACE. 56 00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:30,793 CASE IN POINT, THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE VOTE ITSELF. 57 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,796 TODAY, THE MICHIGAN CAPITOL WAS CLOSED, ARIZONA ELECTORS MET AT 58 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,300 AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, AND THERE WAS A SECRET ENTRANCE IN 59 00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,636 WISCONSIN TO KEEP ELECTORS SAFE. 60 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:40,637 THIS IS CRAZY. 61 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:45,475 THESE PEOPLE AREN'T POLITICIANS OR EVEN VOTERS. 62 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,643 THEY'RE MESSENGERS OF WHAT THE VOTERS SAID. 63 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:51,648 THIS IS WHAT THE PHRASE "DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGERS" WAS 64 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:54,525 INVENTED FOR! 65 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:56,194 BUT THANKS TO THE G.O.P., THAT SAYING IS NOW, "BUY THE 66 00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:58,821 MESSENGERS SOME BULLETPROOF VESTS AND SNEAK 'EM IN THROUGH 67 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,114 THE BACK DOOR BECAUSE WE ARE COO-COO BANANAS AND WE GOT A LOT 68 00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:03,201 OF GUNS!" THIS SHOULD ALL JUST BE BORING. 69 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:07,664 EVERYONE KNOWS IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN! 70 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:08,915 IT'S NOT NORMALLY NEWS! 71 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:12,293 IT'S LIKE ISSUING DEATH THREATS TO PAINT FOR DRYING. 72 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:15,171 THIS IS LIKE SIGNING UP FOR THE P.T.A. AND BEING TOLD,"OKAY, 73 00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:16,130 YOU'RE ALL SIGNED UP. 74 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,757 HERE'S YOUR NUNCHUCKS AND YOUR FLAMETHROWERS. 75 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,717 WE'LL SEE YOU AT WEDNESDAY'S MEETING IN THE THUNDERDOME! 76 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,053 CAN YOU BRING SNACKS?" BUT IT WASN'T JUST THE DEATH 77 00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:23,763 THREATS. 78 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:26,474 THE COVERAGE OF TODAY'S VOTE WAS ABSURDLY DRAMATIC. 79 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:31,980 JUST LOOK AT THIS URGENT MOMENT FROM CNN: 80 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:35,692 >> MORE VOTES, BY THE WAY, ARE COMING IN RIGHT NOW. 81 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,151 JUST MOMENTS AGO IN MISSOURI, THE ELECTORS CONFIRMED THEIR TEN 82 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,362 ELECTORAL VOTES FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP AND VICE PRESIDENT 83 00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:53,209 MIKE PENCE. 84 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:58,589 >> STEPHEN: I'M SORRY, WOLF, WE HAVE TO CUT AWAY FROM THAT 85 00:04:58,673 --> 00:04:59,882 DRAMATIC FOOTAGE BECAUSE WE HAVE JUST LEARNED THAT YOUR UNCLE 86 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,593 ALLEN HAS DECIDED TO IRON HIS SHIRT -- 87 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:03,803 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) >> Stephen: WE WILL, OF 88 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:17,400 COURSE, CHECK BACK ON THAT STORY IF THERE ARE ANY NEW WRINKLES. 89 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,360 PERHAPS THE WORST RECENT ASSAULT AGAINST DEMOCRACY WAS THE 90 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,738 SUPER-DUMB LAWSUIT FILED BY TEXAS ATTORNEY-GENERAL AND 91 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,781 MUGSHOT YOU JUST FOUND OF YOUR GRANDMA'S NEW 92 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,367 BOYFRIEND, KEN PAXTON. 93 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:30,538 TEXAS WANTED TO INVALIDATE ALL THE VOTES IN WISCONSIN, 94 00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:33,624 MICHIGAN, PENNSYLVANIA, AND GEORGIA BECAUSE THOSE STATES 95 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,878 MADE IT EASIER TO VOTE DURING A PANDEMIC. 96 00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:39,547 BUT TEXAS DOESN'T GET TO TELL OTHER STATES HOW TO DO THEIR 97 00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:40,757 THING. 98 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,509 I MEAN, IF WE'RE LIVING BY THOSE RULES, LET'S KICK TEXAS OUT OF 99 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,429 THE UNION BECAUSE ALL OUR EXES LIVE THERE. 100 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:50,558 BUT THIS LAWSUIT WAS THE PRESIDENT'S LAST HOPE. 101 00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:51,559 HE CALLED IT, "THE BIG ONE." 102 00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:55,438 WELL, ON FRIDAY NIGHT, HE BIT "THE BIG ONE." 103 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,899 THE SUPREME COURT REJECTED THE TEXAS SUIT SEEKING TO SUBVERT 104 00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,776 THE ELECTION. 105 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,070 THAT'S GOT TO STING. 106 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,404 THE PRESIDENT PERSONALLY STACKED THE COURT TO HAND HIM THE 107 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:07,825 ELECTION, AND THEN THEY WENT ALL REASONABLE ON HIS ASS. 108 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:11,829 THAT'S LIKE FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER GOING, "BRINGING ME BACK 109 00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:16,250 FROM THE DEAD IS FRAUGHT WITH MORAL AND ETHICAL HAZARDS! 110 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:21,923 AND FOR THE RECORD, FIRE QUITE USEFUL WHEN USED WITH CAUTION!" 111 00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:23,883 THE CASE WAS "DENIED FOR LACK OF STANDING." 112 00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:25,468 NO SURPRISE THERE. 113 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:29,138 THE PRESIDENT STRUGGLES WITH STANDING, WALKING, AND EVEN 114 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:33,976 SITTING WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE HE'S ON THE TOILET. 115 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:43,111 WITH THE LOSS, THE PRESIDENT IS NOW ONE-IN-59 IN POSTELECTION 116 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:44,362 LITIGATION. 117 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:45,154 THAT IS SUCH A TERRIBLE RECORD, HE'S GETTING SYMPATHY CARDS FROM 118 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,280 THE NEW YORK JETS. 119 00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:47,198 BUT IN THE FACE OF REALITY, THE PRESIDENT IS DEFIANT, 120 00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:48,491 TWEET-YELLING, "WE HAVE JUST BEGUN TO FIGHT!" 121 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:51,494 WELL, THEN YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE STARTED FIGHTING EARLIER, 122 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:57,458 BECAUSE YOU GOT YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU, AND IT'S OVER. 123 00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,836 ON SATURDAY, BEFORE THE ARMY-NAVY GAME, THE PRESIDENT 124 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:04,841 HELD A FACE TO TOO CLOSE FACE INTERVIEW WITH BRIAN KILMEADE, 125 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:07,885 AND HAD A BIZARRE EXPLANATION FOR WHY HE 126 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:08,928 THINKS HE REALLY WON. 127 00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:11,848 >> THE ELECTION WAS OVER AT 10:00 IN THE EVENING. 128 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,850 I HAD WON, IT WAS 97, 98%. 129 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:14,517 ALL OF THE BOOKIES ALL OVER THE WORLD WERE SAYING THE ELECTION'S 130 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:15,309 OVER. 131 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:19,856 THEY WOULDN'T EVEN TAKE BETS ON IT. 132 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:25,153 SNOWOH, YEAH, EVERYBODY KNOWS IT'S THE BOOKIES WHO PICKED THE 133 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:26,237 PRESIDENT. 134 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:27,196 THAT'S WHY IN 1932, HERBERT HOOVER SUFFERED A CRUSHING 135 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,239 DEFEAT AT THE HANDS OF PRESIDENT SEABISCUIT. 136 00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:31,868 THE PRESIDENT WASN'T ALONE IN HIS FAILED WAR AGAINST 137 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:35,913 DEMOCRACY, BECAUSE A LEGAL BRIEF SUPPORTING TEXAS' TERRIBLE AND 138 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:39,876 STUPID AND WRONG AND DUMB LAWSUIT WAS SIGNED BY 126 HOUSE 139 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,919 REPUBLICANS. 140 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:46,048 TO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE, IF YOU PUT ALL 126 OF THOSE 141 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:51,888 CONGRESSMEN ON ONE RAFT GOING OVER NIAGARA FALLS, I'D WATCH. 142 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:55,099 FOLLOWING THE SCOTUS DECISION, MOST OF THESE GUYS STAYED 143 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,143 SILENT, BUT LOUISIANA REPRESENTATIVE MIKE JOHNSON 144 00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:59,562 TWEETED THIS QUOTE BY JOHN QUINCY ADAMS: 145 00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:03,900 "DUTY IS OURS, RESULTS ARE GOD'S." 146 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,944 OKAY, BUT I ANOTHER FAMOUS JOHN QUINCY ADAMS QUOTE: 147 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,029 "YOU LOST, MIKE JOHNSON! 148 00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:14,744 SUCK MY SIDEBURNS!" SO, WHAT'S TO BE DONE WITH THESE 149 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:15,870 ANTIDEMOCRATIC CULT MEMBERS? 150 00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:19,749 WELL, THERE'S AN INTERESTING IDEA PUT FORTH BY NEW JERSEY 151 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:22,084 CONGRESSMAN BILL PASCRELL, SEEN HERE STAYING PERFECTLY STILL 152 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:29,091 UNTIL HE REMEMBERS WHY HE CAME INTO THE KITCHEN. 153 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,011 PASCRELL SENT A LETTER TO SPEAKER NANCY PELOSI IN WHICH HE 154 00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:33,554 POINTS OUT THAT THE 126 CONGRESSMAN HAVE VIOLATED A 155 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,973 CLAUSE IN THE 14TH AMENDMENT BARRING REBELLION AGAINST THE 156 00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:39,977 CONSTITUTION, ADDING, "STATED SIMPLY, MEN AND WOMEN WHO WOULD 157 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:43,648 ACT TO TEAR THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT APART CANNOT SERVE AS 158 00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:44,774 MEMBERS OF THE CONGRESS." 159 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,944 THAT SEEMS LIKE THE BARE MINIMUM FOR GOVERNMENT SERVICE. 160 00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:50,947 TO BE ELECTED, YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN OUR ELECTIONS. 161 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,114 SAME WAY IN ORDER TO WORK AT ARBYS, YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE 162 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:55,952 IT'S MEAT. 163 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:59,956 BUT BANNING 126 MEMBERS OF CONGRESS MAY BE TOO MUCH. 164 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:03,584 SO I HAVE MY OWN MORE LIMITED SUGGESTION FOR THE SPEAKER. 165 00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:08,089 YOU DON'T HAVE TO BAR 126 REPUBLICANS, BUT 18 OF THEM COME 166 00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,132 FROM THOSE FOUR STATES WHOSE ELECTIONS THEY CLAIMED WERE 167 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,093 FRAUDULENT. 168 00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:14,637 WHICH IS A WEIRD SELF-OWN. 169 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:15,513 IT'S LIKE BEING AT THE ALTAR. 170 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:18,516 SHE SAYS, "I DO," AND YOU'RE LIKE, "REALLY? 171 00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:25,481 WHY?" SO, I THINK IT'S ONLY FAIR THAT 172 00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:29,986 THESE 18 EITHER RECOGNIZE THE ELECTION AS VALID OR BE 173 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:31,279 CONSISTENT AND SAY THAT THEIR WINS WERE FRAUDULENT. 174 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,822 PUT IT TO A FLOOR VOTE ON DAY ONE. 175 00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:33,614 "RESOLVED: THE ELECTIONS IN PENNSYLVANIA, MICHIGAN, GEORGIA, 176 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:37,702 AND WISCONSIN WERE FREE AND FAIR. 177 00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:41,497 THEREFORE, WE WILL SEAT OUR 18 COLLEAGUES." 178 00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:43,666 THAT WAY, THE G.O.P. EITHER HAS TO VOTE THAT BIDEN WON FAIRLY, 179 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:48,045 OR VOTE THAT THESE 18 IDIOTS LOSE THEIR JOBS. 180 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,840 EITHER WAY, IT'S A WIN-WIN. 181 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:51,924 IN THE END, EVEN HAVING A SPINELESS LACKEY HEADING THE 182 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,677 JUSTICE DEPARTMENT WASN'T ENOUGH TO LET THIS PRESIDENT 183 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:55,845 STEAL THE ELECTION. 184 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:59,682 BECAUSE MOMENTS AFTER BIDEN CLINCHED THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE, 185 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:04,061 THE PRESIDENT ANNOUNCED THAT ATTORNEY GENERAL BILL BARR 186 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:09,817 RESIGNED. 187 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,028 IT'S A FITTING END TO MR TOADIE'S WILD LIES. 188 00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,237 IN A BID FOR ATTENTION, THE PRESIDENT TWEETED, "BILL WILL BE 189 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,864 LEAVING JUST BEFORE CHRISTMAS TO SPEND THE HOLIDAYS WITH HIS 190 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,032 FAMILY." 191 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,409 IF ONLY THERE WAS SOMETHING CALLED "VACATION" SO YOU DIDN'T 192 00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,036 HAVE TO QUIT YOUR JOB IN THE ADMINISTRATION TO SEE YOUR 193 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,705 FAMILY FOR CHRISTMAS. 194 00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:26,334 HOPEFULLY, BARR WILL LEAVE OFFICE BY BEING SEIZED BY 195 00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:28,044 ANONYMOUS FEDERAL AGENTS AND BEING STUFFED INTO AN UNMARKED 196 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:32,048 VAN. 197 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:36,052 THIS DOESN'T COME AS A HUGE SURPRISE. 198 00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,720 SOURCES SAY THE PRESIDENT WAS FRUSTRATED WITH BARR OVER HIS 199 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,056 RECENT COMMENTS THAT THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT HAD FOUND NO EVIDENCE 200 00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:42,725 OF WIDESPREAD ELECTION FRAUD. 201 00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,060 SO, BARR HAD TO LEAVE BECAUSE HE REFUSED TO DO WHAT THE PRESIDENT 202 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:44,935 WANTED. 203 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,688 A REWARD USUALLY RESERVED FOR HIS WIVES. 204 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:53,569 I HATE TO TELL YOU, MR. PRESIDENT, YOU CAN'T MAKE AN 205 00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:56,197 ENTIRE CABINET LEVEL AGENCY DO YOUR BIDDING. 206 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,741 IT'S THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE, NOT JUST-YOU. 207 00:10:58,824 --> 00:10:59,909 IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING IF BILL BARR WOULD DISTANCE HIMSELF 208 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:04,121 FROM THE ADMINISTRATION, HIS RESIGNATION LETTER MAKES IT 209 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,748 CLEAR HE WON'T. 210 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,250 HE WRITES, "YOUR RECORD IS ALL THE MORE HISTORIC BECAUSE YOU 211 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,252 ACCOMPLISHED IT IN THE FACE OF RELENTLESS, IMPLACABLE 212 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,088 RESISTANCE. 213 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,881 FEW COULD HAVE WEATHERED THESE ATTACKS, MUCH LESS FORGE AHEAD 214 00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:18,094 WITH A POSITIVE PROGRAM FOR THE COUNTRY. 215 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,096 YOU BUILT THE STRONGEST AND MOST RESILIENT ECONOMY IN AMERICAN 216 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,223 HISTORY." 217 00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:25,935 ADDING "YOUR ASS IS THE SOFTEST AND SUPPLEST HEINIE MY LIPS HAVE 218 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:27,770 EVER SMOOCHED. 219 00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:31,565 IT HAS A VELVETY RICHNESS WITH FAINT NOTES OF JACKBOOT AND 220 00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,650 PEPPERMINT." 221 00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:33,651 OF COURSE, THE PRESIDENT ISN'T THE ONLY SCOURGE THAT'LL 222 00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:36,112 HOPEFULLY BE GONE SOON. 223 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:40,116 THERE'S ALSO COVID, AND I'LL TELL YOU THE LATEST IN TONIGHT'S 224 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:44,120 EDITION OF "CATCH A THIRD WAVE: ENDLESS BUMMER." 225 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,454 >> SURF'S UP, DUDE. 226 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,247 OH, NO! 227 00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:48,124 I'M AFRAID OF NEEDLES! 228 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:55,798 AAH! 229 00:11:55,881 --> 00:12:00,136 >> Stephen: HE'S GOT A NEEDLE AND TEETH. 230 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,680 WE'VE SPENT NINE MONTHS IN HIDING FROM A VIRUS 231 00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:04,014 THAT CONTINUES TO DEVASTATE OUR COMMUNITIES, BUT FRIDAY NIGHT, 232 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,933 WE FINALLY GOT THE NEWS WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR: THE F.D.A. 233 00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:08,227 ANNOUNCED AN EMERGENCY USE AUTHORIZATION FOR THE FIRST 234 00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,312 COVID-19 VACCINE. 235 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:14,483 AND, THIS MORNING, THE FIRST AMERICAN WAS VACCINATED: SANDRA 236 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,776 LINDSAY, A CRITICAL CARE NURSE IN QUEENS, WHICH WAS THE 237 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:22,324 EPICENTER OF THE PANDEMIC IN THE SPRING. 238 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:33,669 [ APPLAUSE ] >> Stephen: THAT FEELS REALLY 239 00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:34,253 GOOD TO SEE. 240 00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:37,506 I MEAN, THAT IS MOVING. 241 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,883 THIS IS THE MOST EXCITED I'VE BEEN TO WATCH SOMEONE ELSE'S 242 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,384 DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT SINCE EVEL KNIEVEL GOT A ROUTINE 243 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:44,805 PHYSICAL OVER SNAKE RIVER CANYON. 244 00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,849 NURSE LINDSAY HAD AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR AMERICANS. 245 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:51,228 >> I FEEL LIKE HEALING IS COMING. 246 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:56,192 I WANT TO INSTILL PUBLIC CONFIDENCE THAT THE VACCINE IS 247 00:12:56,275 --> 00:13:02,031 SAFE. 248 00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:04,200 WE'RE IN A PANDEMIC, AND SO WE ALL NEED TO DO OUR PART TO PUT 249 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:08,245 AN END TO THE PANDEMIC AND TO NOT GIVE UP SO SOON. 250 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,872 >> STEPHEN: ABSOLUTELY. 251 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:12,249 UNTIL THIS IS OVER FOR GOOD, WE CAN'T GIVE UP ON MASK WEARING 252 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,668 AND SOCIAL DISTANCING. 253 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:15,878 EVERYTHING ELSE, I'VE ALREADY GIVEN UP ON: EATING AT A TABLE, 254 00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:22,384 WORKING AT A TABLE, WEARING PANTS BELOW THE TABLE. 255 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:28,224 PLUS, THEY UNVEILED THE BRAND NEW POST-SHOT STICKER: "CRUSHING 256 00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:31,810 COVID-19, GOT MY VACCINE." 257 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,396 A MUCH BETTER RHYME THAN 1885'S "IMMUNE FROM CHOLERA, NOW BACK 258 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:38,275 TO A LIFE OF SQUALOR-A." 259 00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:40,444 BEFORE YOU GET YOUR JAB, THERE ARE SOME GUIDELINES. 260 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:44,240 SPECIFICALLY, THE VACCINE IS ONLY RECOMMENDED FOR PEOPLE 16 261 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:48,244 AND OVER. 262 00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,579 SO WHEN YOU TURN 16, YOU GET TO DRIVE AND YOU GET COVID 263 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:51,789 IMMUNITY. 264 00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:52,248 IT'S SUCH A RITE OF PASSAGE, I LOOK FORWARD TO MTV'S "MY SUPER 265 00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,791 SWEET VACCINE." 266 00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:58,087 WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT! 267 00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:58,712 CHRISTOPHER WALKEN IS HERE! 268 00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:04,260 CHANCE THE RAPPER IS HERE! 269 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:05,094 MELANIA TRUMP IS HERE! 270 00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:08,472 BUT BEFORE WE DO ANY OF THAT, NORMALLY 271 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,432 RIGHT NOW WE WOULD GO TO COMMERCIALS, BUT WE'RE GUESSING 272 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,351 YOU'D PREFER MORE SHOW IN A SEGMENT WE LIKE TO CALL "MORE 273 00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,853 SHOW." 274 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:19,233 SO, INSTEAD OF A COMMERCIAL BREAK, WE'RE GOING TO DO THAT. 275 00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:20,401 TONIGHT'S "MORE SHOW" IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY GOOGLE'S "YEAR 276 00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:23,445 IN SEARCH." 277 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,990 THEIR ANNUAL SHORT FILM, THAT I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU IN A 278 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:28,284 MINUTE, WHICH EXPLORES THE PREVIOUS 12 MONTHS' TOP 279 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:31,495 GOOGLE SEARCH TRENDS. 280 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:34,456 EVERY YEAR, THERE'S ONE SEARCH TERM THAT STANDS OUT MORE THAN 281 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,292 OTHERS. 282 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:39,628 FOR INSTANCE, 2017 WAS THE YEAR OF PEOPLE SEARCHING "HOW?" 283 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,922 AND 2020 WAS THE YEAR OF PEOPLE SEARCHING "WHY?" 284 00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,300 UNDERSTANDABLE. 285 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:47,636 WE'VE ALL BEEN THROUGH A LOT, AND THE "WHY" QUESTIONS THAT 286 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,473 TOPPED 2020 REFLECT THAT, LIKE: "WHY ARE FLIGHTS CANCELED?" 287 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:56,145 "WHY IS THE NBA POSTPONED?" "WHY ARE SCHOOLS CLOSED?" AND 288 00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:57,813 "WHY IS TOILET PAPER SOLD OUT?" I HAVE A FOLLOW UP QUESTION: WHY 289 00:14:57,896 --> 00:15:00,274 HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF THE PANDEMIC? 290 00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:04,320 AND HOW DO YOU SEARCH GOOGLE FROM UNDER THAT ROCK? 291 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:08,324 AND BECAUSE WE'RE DOING THIS GOOGLE THING, WE ASKED THEM WHAT 292 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,575 WERE THE TOP SEARCHES ABOUT ME. 293 00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:12,369 TURNS OUT-- AND THIS IS REAL-- THE NUMBER ONE QUESTION ABOUT ME 294 00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:19,460 IN 2020 WAS "HOW OLD IS STEPHEN COLBERT?" 295 00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:20,252 COME ON! 296 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,921 THAT'S AN UNFAIR QUESTION THIS YEAR! 297 00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:26,342 2020 HAS BEEN BRUTAL, BUT I STILL LIKE TO THINK I'M AGING 298 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,385 LIKE A BOTTLE OF FINE WINE-- OUT OF THE SUN, A LITTLE DUSTY, AND 299 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:32,348 FILLED WITH WINE. 300 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:37,478 ALL THESE QUESTIONS ARE KIND OF A COOL SNAPSHOT OF HUMANITY. 301 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:41,523 IT'S EASY TO FORGET THAT YOU CAN PULL A DEVICE OUT OF YOUR 302 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:44,360 POCKET AND SEARCH GOOGLE FOR LITERALLY EVERY PIECE OF 303 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:46,403 INFORMATION EVER GENERATED BY CIVILIZATION LIKE "HOW DOES 304 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,030 CALCULUS WORK?" "WHAT IS CONSCIOUSNESS?" 305 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:52,493 "WHAT ARE THE FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS?" 306 00:15:52,576 --> 00:16:00,376 THE THINGS WE SEARCH TRULY REFLECT WHO WE ARE. 307 00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:03,212 "CATS DRESSED AS BOBA FETT." 308 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:08,384 (CHUCKLES) TRULY AN AGE OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 309 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,177 SO, WHAT HAS THE REST OF THE WORLD BEEN SEARCHING ALL YEAR? 310 00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:12,137 THAT'S WHAT GOOGLE'S "YEAR IN SEARCH" VIDEO IS FOR. 311 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:19,853 HERE'S A LOOK AT WHAT WAS ON OUR MINDS IN 2020. 312 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:25,401 >> THE MOST HUMAN TRAIT IS TO WANT TO KNOW WHY. 313 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,445 AND IN A YEAR THAT TESTED EVERYONE AROUND THE WORLD, "WHY" 314 00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:31,198 WAS SEARCHED MORE THAN EVER. 315 00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:36,412 ( MULTIPLE LANGUAGES ) >> THE SPREAD OF THE CORONAVIRUS 316 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,080 HAS PASSED A SIGNIFICANT MILESTONE. 317 00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:40,040 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> AND WHILE WE DIDN'T FIND ALL 318 00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:44,420 THE ANSWERS, WE KEPT ASKING. 319 00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,588 SOME QUESTIONS INSPIRED JOY. 320 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:49,091 OTHERS EXCITEMENT. 321 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,593 >> LIFE IN THE BUBBLE. 322 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:52,302 WHOO! 323 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:52,761 >> YOU LOVE ME? 324 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:53,303 >> YES. 325 00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:54,096 >> YOU LOVE ME? 326 00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:54,972 >> YES. 327 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:55,431 >> YOU LOVE ME? 328 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,766 >> YES. 329 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:02,938 >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT AN IMPROPER FRACTION IS. 330 00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:07,067 >> KEEP ALL OF THOSE DISTRACTIONS OUT OF THE WAY. 331 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,111 >> WE FOUND TOILET TISSUE, Y'ALL. 332 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,612 >> PUT IT ON THERE AND START IT UP FOR ME. 333 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:14,450 >> WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING? 334 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:15,033 >> IT'S STILL MARCH. 335 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:18,454 HOW MANY DAYS IN MARCH? 336 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:19,663 >> SOME QUESTIONS MADE US CRY. 337 00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:20,289 >> YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH OUR UPS AND BEEN THROUGH OUR 338 00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:21,498 DOWNS. 339 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:22,624 I THINK THE MOST IMPORTANT PART IS THAT WE ALL STAYED TOGETHER 340 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,126 THROUGHOUT. 341 00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:27,629 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I LOVE YOU GUYS! 342 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:28,964 (CROWD CHANTING KOBE) >> SOME MADE US WORRY ABOUT THIS 343 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,132 SPINNING ROCK WE CALL HOME. 344 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:34,636 >> FIRES WERE DETECTED IN THE AMAZON RAINFOREST. 345 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:38,140 >> WHY WERE SO MANY LIVES LOST? 346 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,517 >> ALMOST 1.5 MILLION PEOPLE HAVE NOW DIED OF COVID-19 347 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,478 WORLDWIDE. 348 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:46,648 >> WHY ARE WE STILL ASKING THE SAME QUESTIONS? 349 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,484 >> GEORGE FLOYD REPEATEDLY TOLD THE OFFICERS THAT HE COULD NOT 350 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:51,779 BREATHE. 351 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:57,534 >> SO WHY DO WE STILL HAVE STRENGTH TO CONTINUE? 352 00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:58,160 ♪ ♪ 353 00:17:58,243 --> 00:17:58,744 >> I BELIEVE IN YOUR POWER. 354 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:04,625 I BELIEVE IN OUR POWER. 355 00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:07,461 >> CHANTS OF "BLACK LIVES MATTER" ECHOED FROM THOUSANDS OF 356 00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:10,589 PROTESTORS IN CITIES AROUND THE WORLD. 357 00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:11,673 >> WHY ARE WE NOT DEFEATED? 358 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:16,637 >> WE HAVE MADE TOO MUCH PROGRESS, AND WE ARE NOT GOING 359 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,223 BACK, WE ARE GOING FORWARD! 360 00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:20,557 >> PLANES ARE STARTING TO ARRIVE IN BEIRUT FULL OF INTERNATIONAL 361 00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:22,184 AID. 362 00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:26,021 >> FIREFIGHTERS FROM AROUND THE WORLD ARRIVING IN CALIFORNIA. 363 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,023 >> THERE ARE OVER 100 CORONAVIRUS VACCINES IN 364 00:18:28,106 --> 00:18:29,191 DEVELOPMENT WORLDWIDE. 365 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:30,692 >> THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES WHEN PEOPLE LOOK OUT FOR ONE 366 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,194 ANOTHER AND HAVE EACH OTHER'S BACKS. 367 00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:36,073 >> WE KEPT GOING FOR THOSE WHO SHOWED US THE WAY. 368 00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:39,868 >> THINK ABOUT HOW YOU WOULD LIKE THE WORLD TO BE FOR YOUR 369 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,119 DAUGHTERS AND GRANDDAUGHTERS. 370 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:44,915 >> REMEMBER, THE STRUGGLES ALONG THE WAY ARE ONLY MEANT TO SHAPE 371 00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:48,043 YOU FOR YOUR PURPOSE. 372 00:18:48,126 --> 00:18:52,548 PRESS ON WITH PRIDE, AND PRESS ON WITH PURPOSE. 373 00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:55,509 >> WHY IS IT THAT THIS YEAR SHOWED US ITS WORST, AND WE 374 00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:56,385 STILL FOUND WAYS TO TRIUMPH? 375 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:57,761 >> AN INCREDIBLE FEAT FROM MAYA GABEIRA. 376 00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,556 >> NAOMI OSAKA, U.S. OPEN CHAMPIONSHIP. 377 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:04,601 >> CAN'T LET CORONA STOP YOU. 378 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,019 CAN'T LET QUARANTINE STOP YOU. 379 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,730 >> SO, UNTIL WE GET TO EVERY ANSWER... 380 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:12,693 ♪ WE WILL GET IT TOGETHER SOMEHOW ♪ 381 00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:12,818 >> ...WE'RE STILL SEARCHING. 382 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:22,286 >> Stephen: FOLKS, IT'S CHRISTMAS SEASON AT THE 383 00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:24,079 WHITE HOUSE WHERE THIS WEEKEND THEY 384 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,455 CONTINUED TO THROW PACKED HOLIDAY PARTIES WITH UNMASKED 385 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:26,665 GUESTS. 386 00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:28,083 I HOPE THEY MAKE THE MOST OF CHRISTMAS, BECAUSE NEW YEARS IS 387 00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:29,251 GONNA BE A PARTY IN THE I.C.U. 388 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:31,420 OF COURSE, THE WHITE HOUSE ALREADY KICKED OFF THE HOLIDAYS 389 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:35,090 BY UNVEILING FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP'S CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS. 390 00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:39,094 AND FOLLOWING YEARS OF CONTROVERSIAL CHOICES, THIS YEAR 391 00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:42,890 SHE WENT WITH SOMETHING TRULY UNEXPECTED: CHRISTMAS 392 00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,975 DECORATIONS. 393 00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:46,894 AND THE FIRST LADY ALSO RELEASED HER USUAL HOLIDAY VIDEO WHERE 394 00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:50,898 SHE WANDERS AROUND THE WHITE HOUSE, LOOKING AT DECORATIONS 395 00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:53,108 ALL BY HERSELF. 396 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,902 IT'S LIKE A SCENE FROM A "HOME ALONE" MOVIE, BUT WITH FEWER 397 00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:58,906 APPEARANCES BY THE PRESIDENT. 398 00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:06,788 ANTICIPATION FOR THESE DECORATIONS WAS HIGHER THAN 399 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,790 USUAL THIS YEAR, BECAUSE THE DAY BEFORE SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH 400 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,459 COVID, A WOMAN WHO PRETENDED TO BE HER FRIEND RELEASED SECRETLY 401 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,419 RECORDED CONVERSATIONS IN WHICH THE FIRST LADY CHANNELS 402 00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:14,838 HER INNER GRINCH. 403 00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:15,797 >> THEY SAY I'M COMPLICIT. 404 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,507 I'M THE SAME LIKE HIM, I SUPPORT HIM. 405 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:18,884 I DON'T SAY ENOUGH, I DON'T DO ENOUGH-- 406 00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:20,969 >> NO, NOPE. 407 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,972 >> WHERE I AM. 408 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,808 I PUT-- I'M WORKING LIKE A-- MY ASS OFF AT-- 409 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:29,811 >> I KNOW. 410 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:30,479 >> -- CHRISTMAS STUFF, THAT YOU KNOW WHO GIVES A (BLEEP) ABOUT 411 00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:31,647 CHRISTMAS STUFF AND DECORATION? 412 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:36,526 >> STEPHEN: OKAY, SOUNDS BAD, BUT THE PRESIDENT WAS RIGHT: 413 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:37,653 WE'RE SAYING CHRISTMAS AGAIN. 414 00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:38,820 SHE DIDN'T SAY "WHO GIVES A (BLEEP) ABOUT HAPPY HOLIDAY 415 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:45,994 STUFF." 416 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,329 SO, HAS THE FIRST LADY FOUND THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON? 417 00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,665 HERE TO TELL US VIA SATELLITE FROM WASHINGTON, PLEASE WELCOME 418 00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:50,624 MELANIA TRUMP! 419 00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,167 MADAME FIRST LADY, THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME. 420 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:56,630 >> MERRY HELLO AND VERY CHRISTMAS TO YOU, STEPHEN! 421 00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:57,839 >> STEPHEN: AND TO YOU. 422 00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:00,384 I HAVE TO ASK ABOUT HOSTING ALL THESE HOLIDAY PARTIES AT THE 423 00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:01,343 WHITE HOUSE. 424 00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:04,554 AREN'T YOU WORRIED YOUR GUESTS COULD GET SICK? 425 00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:09,017 >> OH, WHO DOESN'T WAKE UP A LITTLE SICK AFTER A GOOD PARTY? 426 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,352 BESIDES, I'VE ALWAYS CONSIDERED NAUSEA A SIDE EFFECT OF SPENDING 427 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,688 AN EVENING WITH MY HUSBAND. 428 00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:14,898 HEY-OH! 429 00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:22,906 >> STEPHEN: OKAY. 430 00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:24,241 GOOD. 431 00:21:24,324 --> 00:21:26,952 ( GAGGING ) >> Stephen: NOW I SEE YOUR 432 00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:28,412 TREES THERE. 433 00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:30,414 IT SEEMS LIKE YOU WENT WITH MORE TRADITIONAL DECORATIONS THIS 434 00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:31,581 YEAR? 435 00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:32,666 >> YES, AFTER YEARS OF BUYING SPOOKY DECORATIONS FROM THE 436 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:34,292 HALLOWEEN STORE, I FINALLY WANTED TO EXPRESS THE REAL 437 00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:38,547 MELANIA. 438 00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:41,591 SO, I TOOK THESE BEAUTIFUL, PERFECTLY HAPPY TREES, DRAGGED 439 00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:42,509 THEM INTO THE WHITE HOUSE, AND COVERED THEM IN GLITZ SO YOU 440 00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:53,729 DON'T REALIZE THEY'RE SLOWLY DYING INSIDE. 441 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:54,896 >> STEPHEN: WELL, IT LOOKS GREAT. 442 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,398 AND I'M ACTUALLY CURIOUS ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS ON CHRISTMAS. 443 00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:58,900 BECAUSE THAT TAPE OF YOU REALLY MADE IT SOUND LIKE YOU DON'T 444 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:00,902 CARE FOR IT. 445 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,946 >> STEPHEN, THAT TAPE WAS JUST "LOCKER ROOM TALK." 446 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:05,282 BESIDES, I WAS JUST QUOTING FROM MY FAVORITE CHRISTMAS CAROL. 447 00:22:05,365 --> 00:22:06,366 ♪ WHO GIVES A (BLEEP) ABOUT CHRISTMAS? 448 00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,994 ♪ YES, WHO GIVES A (BLEEP) ABOUT CHRISTMAS? 449 00:22:09,077 --> 00:22:10,996 OH, WHO GIVES A (BLEEP) ABOUT CHRISTMAS STUFF 450 00:22:11,079 --> 00:22:16,418 AND DECOR-A-TIONS ♪ >> Stephen: AS BEAUTIFUL AS 451 00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:20,213 THAT WAS -- AND IT WAS ABSOLUTELY LOVELY -- I WANT TO 452 00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:23,383 POINT OUT THOSE ARE NOT THE LYRICS TO THE SONG. 453 00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:24,593 >> OH, REALLY? 454 00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,970 THEN WHY IS IT ON MY ALBUM "NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL SECRETLY 455 00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:28,221 RECORDED CHRISTMAS!"? 456 00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:29,598 >> STEPHEN: OKAY, SWITCHING GEARS: THERE ARE RUMORS THAT 457 00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:33,101 YOU'RE TAKING MEETINGS WITH PUBLISHERS. 458 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:34,186 ARE YOU WRITING A BOOK? 459 00:22:34,269 --> 00:22:35,437 >> YES, I AM HARD AT WORK ON MY WHITE HOUSE MEMOIR. 460 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,982 DO YOU WANT TO HEAR SOME? 461 00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:41,276 >> STEPHEN: UM... 462 00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:44,404 >> "MY FAMILY LIVED IN THE SOUTH SHORE NEIGHBORHOOD OF CHICAGO, 463 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:46,948 IN A TIDY BRICK BUNGALOW THAT BELONGED-- 464 00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:49,951 >> STEPHEN: MADAM FIRST LADY, YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN. 465 00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:51,328 THAT'S CLEARLY PLAGIARIZED FROM MICHELLE OBAMA'S MEMOIR 466 00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:53,914 "BECOMING." 467 00:22:53,997 --> 00:22:54,956 >> HOW DARE YOU! 468 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,626 THAT IS FROM MY BOOK: "HASHTAG-BE-BEST-COMING." 469 00:22:57,709 --> 00:23:02,964 IT'S GOING TO BE A BE-BESTSELLER. 470 00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:04,466 CALL ME, OPRAH BOOK CLUB! 471 00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:06,968 >> STEPHEN: OKAY, NOW THERE ARE RUMORS THAT UNLIKE THE PRESIDENT 472 00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,303 YOU'VE ACCEPTED THE ELECTION RESULTS AND JUST WANT TO MOVE 473 00:23:08,386 --> 00:23:09,179 ON? 474 00:23:09,262 --> 00:23:11,014 >> YES, STEPHEN. 475 00:23:11,098 --> 00:23:21,024 IT'S LIKE I KEEP TELLING MY HUSBAND: DONALD, IT'S OVER. 476 00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:21,817 WE BOTH KNOW IT ENDED AWHILE AGO. NOW WE JUST NEED TO ACCEPT 477 00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:25,529 THAT AND KEEP GOING UNTIL THE PRENUP 478 00:23:25,612 --> 00:23:26,154 RUNS OUT. 479 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:28,990 >> Stephen: VERY ROMANTIC. 480 00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,700 IN THAT CASE, WITH JUST A FEW WEEKS LEFT IN 481 00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:31,993 THE WHITE HOUSE, ARE THERE ANY OTHER FINAL THINGS YOU HOPE TO 482 00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:32,702 ACHIEVE AS FIRST LADY? 483 00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:33,829 >> PARDON ME, STEPHEN? 484 00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:34,830 >> STEPHEN: I SAID, "ARE THERE ANY OTHER FINAL THINGS--" 485 00:23:34,913 --> 00:23:36,123 >> NO, I HEARD YOU. 486 00:23:36,206 --> 00:23:39,042 BEFORE LEAVING THE WHITE HOUSE, I WANT MY HUSBAND TO PARDON ME. 487 00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:40,043 I CAN'T GO TO JAIL! 488 00:23:40,127 --> 00:23:42,462 I DON'T WANT TO SHARE A CELL CAN KAYLIE McINERNY! 489 00:23:42,546 --> 00:23:45,924 >> STEPHEN: FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP, EVERYBODY! 490 00:23:46,007 --> 00:23:46,508 >> MERRY CHRISTMAS, STEPHEN! 491 00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:49,636 SEE YOU AT THE PARTIES! 492 00:23:49,719 --> 00:23:50,512 >> STEPHEN: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CHRISTOPHER WALKEN. 493 00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:53,723 YOU SHOULD HAVE THAT CHECKED OUT, MA'AM. 494 00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:17,372 ♪ >> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK. 495 00:24:17,455 --> 00:24:20,167 JOINING ME NOW IS AN ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING ACTOR YOU KNOW 496 00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:21,376 FROM "THE DEER HUNTER," "PULP FICTION," AND "CATCH ME IF YOU 497 00:24:21,459 --> 00:24:23,044 CAN." 498 00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:27,424 HIS NEW FILM IS "WILD MOUNTAIN THYME." 499 00:24:27,507 --> 00:24:31,178 PLEASE WELCOME, CHRISTOPHER WALKEN! 500 00:24:31,261 --> 00:24:33,388 CHRISTOPHER WALKEN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE! 501 00:24:33,471 --> 00:24:34,055 >> HI, STEPHEN. 502 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:35,265 GOOD THE SEE YOU. 503 00:24:35,348 --> 00:24:38,685 >> Stephen: YOU KNOW, WE HAVE MET BEFORE, BRIEFLY, A FEW YEARS 504 00:24:38,768 --> 00:24:42,355 AGO, BUT I NEVER HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO INTERVIEW YOU, 505 00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:48,904 AND NOW I GET TO INTERVIEW YOU OVER ZOOM, WHICH I UNDERSTAND IS 506 00:24:48,987 --> 00:24:51,448 A PARTICULAR RARITY BECAUSE IS IT TRUE YOU HAVE NEVER OWNED A 507 00:24:51,531 --> 00:24:53,241 COMPUTER OR A CELL PHONE? 508 00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:55,452 >> YEAH, SOMEBODY HAD TO COME AND SET THIS UP BECAUSE I DON'T 509 00:24:55,535 --> 00:24:58,914 HAVE A CELL PHONE OR A COMPUTER. 510 00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:01,374 >> Stephen: AND WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ONE? 511 00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:05,295 ARE YOU MORALLY, PHILOSOPHICALLY, EMOTIONALLY 512 00:25:05,378 --> 00:25:05,921 OPPOSED? 513 00:25:06,004 --> 00:25:06,922 >> NO, NO. 514 00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:08,340 I JUST GOT TO IT TOO LATE. 515 00:25:08,423 --> 00:25:13,386 YOU KNOW, I THINK I'M RIGHT AT A CERTAIN AGE WHERE IT JUST PASSED 516 00:25:13,470 --> 00:25:19,643 ME BY, AND I NEVER GOT INVOLVED IN IT BECAUSE IT WOULD BE 517 00:25:19,726 --> 00:25:25,065 STRANGE TO HAVE, YOU KNOW, ANY TEN-YEAR-OLD BE MUCH BETTER AT 518 00:25:25,148 --> 00:25:29,444 IT THAN I AM. 519 00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:34,449 SO SO THE OTHER THING IS, CELL PHONES IS A BIT LIKE A WATCH, IF 520 00:25:34,532 --> 00:25:36,660 YOU NEED IT, SOMEBODY HAS ONE. 521 00:25:36,743 --> 00:25:38,995 PEOPLE ARE GOOD ABOUT LETTING ME BORROW THINGS. 522 00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:41,164 >> Stephen: YOU'VE NEVER E-MAILED OR TEXTED. 523 00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:44,668 >> NO. 524 00:25:44,751 --> 00:25:45,627 >> Stephen: YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ON TWITTER? 525 00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:46,795 >> NO, I HAVEN'T. 526 00:25:46,878 --> 00:25:50,966 SOMETIMES ON A MOVIE THEY'LL GIVE ME A CELL PHONE, BUT IT'S 527 00:25:51,049 --> 00:25:53,802 MORE SO THAT THEY CAN FIND ME. 528 00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:57,305 >> Stephen: IT'S LIKE A TRACKING COLLAR? 529 00:25:57,389 --> 00:25:58,473 >> A TRACKING COLLAR. 530 00:25:58,556 --> 00:26:03,645 >> Stephen: A TAG LIKE JACQUES COUSTEAU, WE'RE GOING TO TRACK 531 00:26:03,728 --> 00:26:04,813 YOUR MIGRATION? 532 00:26:04,896 --> 00:26:08,817 >> AND IF I WANT TO USE IT, SOMEBODY HAS TO DIAL IT FOR ME, 533 00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:09,943 THAT KIND OF THING. 534 00:26:10,026 --> 00:26:11,653 >> Stephen: ARE WE CATCHING YOUT AT HOPEFUL RIGHT NOW? 535 00:26:11,736 --> 00:26:12,153 >> YEAH. 536 00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:13,154 I'M IN CONNECTICUT. 537 00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:15,573 >> Stephen: WHAT ELSE SOMETHING PEOPLE MIGHT NOT 538 00:26:15,657 --> 00:26:20,245 EXPECT TO FIND IN CHRISTOPHER WALKEN'S HOME? 539 00:26:20,328 --> 00:26:25,667 >> WELL, I HAVE A SMALL ROOM WHERE I KEEP, YOU KNOW, 540 00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:28,837 MEMORABILIA AND MEMENTOS AND THINGS LIKE THAT. 541 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:36,553 I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED, AND I HAVE MOHAMED 542 00:26:36,636 --> 00:26:40,807 ALI -- MOHAMED ALI, IN THE EARLY '70s, HIS TITLE WAS TAKEN 543 00:26:40,890 --> 00:26:41,266 AWAY. 544 00:26:41,349 --> 00:26:42,225 >> Stephen: SURE. 545 00:26:42,309 --> 00:26:43,893 PEOPLE DON'T KNOW IT, BUT HE DID OTHER THINGS. 546 00:26:43,977 --> 00:26:49,024 HE APPEARED IN A BROADWAY SHOW, AND HE HAD KIND OF AN ACT WHERE 547 00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:57,699 HE TOURED, AND I WAS WORKING IN A THEATER IN CANADA, AND HE CAME 548 00:26:57,782 --> 00:27:04,372 THROUGH TOWN WITH HIS SHOW, AND HE LEFT HIS BOXING TRUNKS TO BE 549 00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:07,542 AUCTIONED FOR CHARITY FOR THE THEATER, AND I WENT AND GOT THEM 550 00:27:07,625 --> 00:27:09,878 AND I BROUGHT THEM FOR YOU TO SEE. 551 00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:13,882 >> Stephen: SO YOU HAVE MOHAMED ALI'S BOXING TRUNKS FROM 552 00:27:13,965 --> 00:27:15,884 THE PERIOD OF TIME THAT HE WASN'T ALLOWED TO BOX BECAUSE HE 553 00:27:15,967 --> 00:27:21,723 WAS A CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR TO VIETNAM. 554 00:27:21,806 --> 00:27:28,730 >> YES, AND HE INSCRIBED THEM MOHAMED ALI 1971, THE REAL 555 00:27:28,813 --> 00:27:29,272 CHAMP. 556 00:27:29,356 --> 00:27:31,441 >> Stephen: CAN I SEE? 557 00:27:31,524 --> 00:27:32,442 DO YOU HAVE THEM? 558 00:27:32,525 --> 00:27:38,740 >> SURE. 559 00:27:38,823 --> 00:27:40,742 >> Stephen: (LAUGHING) THAT'S FANTASTIC! 560 00:27:40,825 --> 00:27:45,747 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TEMPTED TO PUT THEM ON? 561 00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:46,081 >> NO. 562 00:27:46,164 --> 00:27:48,416 WHERE AM I? 563 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:49,667 ( LAUGHTER ) NO. 564 00:27:49,751 --> 00:27:54,923 WHEN I GOT THEM, THEY WERE -- I HAD THEM FRAMED, AND THEY HAVE 565 00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:56,758 BEEN THERE EVER SINCE. 566 00:27:56,841 --> 00:27:58,927 >> Stephen: DID YOU EVER MEET ALI? 567 00:27:59,010 --> 00:28:00,095 >> I DID. 568 00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:06,768 I SAT NEXT TO HIM ONCE AT A MOVIE PREMIERE, AND I COULDN'T 569 00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:09,229 BELIEVE I WAS SITTING NEXT TO HIM. 570 00:28:09,312 --> 00:28:13,483 AND THEN, WHEN IT WAS OVER, PEOPLE WERE KIND OF STANDING 571 00:28:13,566 --> 00:28:17,654 AROUND, AND HE SAID TO ME, DO YOU BOX? 572 00:28:17,737 --> 00:28:21,074 AND I SAID, NO, NOT AT ALL. 573 00:28:21,157 --> 00:28:25,453 AND HE SAID, PRETTY BOY. 574 00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:26,913 THAT'S A LONG TIME AGO, YOU KNOW. 575 00:28:26,996 --> 00:28:31,042 >> Stephen: NOW, HE ACCUSED YOU OF BEING A PRETTY BOY? 576 00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:32,252 >> YEAH, HE SAID I WAS A PRETTY BOY. 577 00:28:32,335 --> 00:28:38,299 >> Stephen: I THOUGHT ONE OF HIS GREAT CLAIMS WAS THAT I'M SO 578 00:28:38,383 --> 00:28:39,551 PRETTY. 579 00:28:39,634 --> 00:28:40,802 >> YEAH, HE WAS -- BUT MAYBE IT WAS A COMPLIMENT, I DON'T KNOW. 580 00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:43,680 >> Stephen: TAKE IT AS SUCH. 581 00:28:43,763 --> 00:28:47,267 THE NEW FILM IS CALLED "WILD MOUNTAIN THYME." 582 00:28:47,350 --> 00:28:48,643 I BELIEVE WE HAVE A CLIP. 583 00:28:48,726 --> 00:28:49,811 DO YOU KNOWT WHAT WE'RE ABOUT TO SEE? 584 00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:58,820 >> I THINK IT'S SOMETHING WITH MY SON JAMIE DORNIN AND HIS 585 00:28:58,903 --> 00:28:59,320 INHERITANCE. 586 00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:01,364 >> Stephen: OKAY, JIM? 587 00:29:01,448 --> 00:29:05,118 I DON'T SEE A CLEAR PATH FROM WHERE TO WHERE. 588 00:29:05,201 --> 00:29:07,328 >> FROM ME TO YOU. 589 00:29:07,412 --> 00:29:07,829 STOP. 590 00:29:07,912 --> 00:29:10,373 IT HAS TO BE SAID. 591 00:29:10,457 --> 00:29:13,376 YOUR FACE IS NOT RIGHT. 592 00:29:13,460 --> 00:29:15,795 YOU COME UP FROM SOME OTHER PEOPLE. 593 00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:18,339 YOU'RE MORE KELLY THAN RILEY. 594 00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:20,800 >> IT'S TRUE, YOU'RE A KELLY IN THE FACE. 595 00:29:20,884 --> 00:29:21,843 >> IN MY FACE. 596 00:29:21,926 --> 00:29:22,886 HE LIKES TO FISH. 597 00:29:22,969 --> 00:29:27,140 AS THE KELLIES, IT'S WELL KNOWN. 598 00:29:27,223 --> 00:29:29,350 JOHN KELLY, HE WAS A FISH. 599 00:29:29,434 --> 00:29:29,851 >> MY NAME IS RILEY. 600 00:29:29,934 --> 00:29:31,519 I'M A RILEY. 601 00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:32,687 >> NO, YOU'RE A KELLY. 602 00:29:32,770 --> 00:29:36,566 YOU TAKE AFTER JOHN KELLY AND THAT MAN WAS MAD AS THE FULL 603 00:29:36,649 --> 00:29:37,358 MOON. 604 00:29:37,442 --> 00:29:37,859 DROWNED HIMSELF IN THE ROYAL CANAL. 605 00:29:37,942 --> 00:29:39,903 >> E FELL IN. 606 00:29:39,986 --> 00:29:41,905 HAD A ROCK TIED TO HIS NECK! 607 00:29:41,988 --> 00:29:45,867 >> Stephen: DID YOU SHOOT THIS IN IRELAND, CHRISTOPHER? 608 00:29:45,950 --> 00:29:46,367 >> YES. 609 00:29:46,451 --> 00:29:48,578 >> Stephen: WHERE? 610 00:29:48,661 --> 00:29:49,829 WHERE IN IRELAND? 611 00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:54,000 >> WELL, A FEW HOURS OUTSIDE OF DUBLIN IN THIS BEAUTIFUL FARM 612 00:29:54,083 --> 00:29:59,172 COUNTRY, AND I HADN'T, IN MY LIFE, BEEN TO IRELAND, AND I 613 00:29:59,255 --> 00:30:02,175 DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE BEEN THERE, BUT IT REALLY IS 614 00:30:02,258 --> 00:30:02,675 BEAUTIFUL. 615 00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:05,220 >> Stephen: I HAVE. 616 00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:06,387 YEAH. 617 00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:11,518 IT WAS EVERYTHING THEY SAY, AND WHERE WE STAYED WAS AN OLD 618 00:30:11,601 --> 00:30:19,442 ESTATE, AND THEY HAD A ROOKERY WHERE THEY RAISED THE HAWKS AND 619 00:30:19,526 --> 00:30:24,697 OWLS AND FAULKENS, AND THE WHOLE THING WAS A LITTLE BIT MEDIEVAL. 620 00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:28,701 >> Stephen: WAS IT APPEALING TO YOU, THE MEDIEVAL QUALITY OF 621 00:30:28,785 --> 00:30:29,827 IT? 622 00:30:29,911 --> 00:30:31,371 BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T HAVE PHONES OR COMPUTERS BACK IN THE 623 00:30:31,454 --> 00:30:32,413 MEDIEVAL TIMES EITHER. 624 00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:33,873 >> NO, NO, REALLY, I'D LIKE TO GO BACK. 625 00:30:33,957 --> 00:30:38,628 >> Stephen: EXCEPT THE HYGIENE, I NEED DENTISTS. 626 00:30:38,711 --> 00:30:43,299 I WOULD LOVE TO GO BACK TO THE MIDDLE AGES, TOO, BUT I LIKE 627 00:30:43,383 --> 00:30:44,050 PENICILLIN AND DENTISTS. 628 00:30:44,133 --> 00:30:45,969 >> THEY HAD LOTS OF THAT. 629 00:30:46,052 --> 00:30:48,638 >> Stephen: OH, YOU MEAN GO BACK TO IRELAND? 630 00:30:48,721 --> 00:30:50,932 I THOUGHT YOU MEANT GO BACK TO THE MIDDLE AGES THERE. 631 00:30:51,015 --> 00:30:51,599 >> NO, IRELAND. 632 00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:53,768 I DON'T MEAN THE MIDDLE AGES. 633 00:30:53,851 --> 00:30:57,438 >> Stephen: I WOULD LOVE TO GO BACK TO IRELAND, TOO. 634 00:30:57,522 --> 00:30:59,983 NOW W "WILD MOUNTAIN THYME" IS ALSO, CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, 635 00:31:00,066 --> 00:31:03,945 IT'S ANT ENDURING LOVE, A SUBJECT WITH WHICH YOU ARE 636 00:31:04,028 --> 00:31:04,946 FAMILIAR. 637 00:31:05,029 --> 00:31:07,991 MY WIFE WILL BE THRILLED TO KNOW OF YOUR EXAMPLE. 638 00:31:08,074 --> 00:31:12,453 YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO YOUR WIFE GEORGEANNE FOR 51 YEARS. 639 00:31:12,537 --> 00:31:15,748 WHAT DO YOU THINK THE SECRET IS TO AN ENDURING MARRIAGE? 640 00:31:15,832 --> 00:31:18,668 >> WELL, LIKE A LOT OF THINGS IN MY LIFE, I THINK THAT THERE'S A 641 00:31:18,751 --> 00:31:24,132 BIG ELEMENT OF LUCK, YOU KNOW, KNOCK WOOD. 642 00:31:24,215 --> 00:31:29,095 BUT, YOU KNOW, THAT SORT OF THING IS CERTAIN DEPUTY, IT'S 643 00:31:29,178 --> 00:31:30,221 COPESETIC. 644 00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:34,058 YOU KNOW, YOU JUST GET LUCKY SOMETIMES AND, YOU KNOW, THE 645 00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:38,771 IDEA THAT YOUR WIFE MAY HAVE WALKED INTO THE ROOM WHEN YOU 646 00:31:38,855 --> 00:31:44,110 WERE LOOKING WRONG WAY AND YOU NEVER MET, THOSE THINGS ARE 647 00:31:44,193 --> 00:31:45,361 POSSIBLE. 648 00:31:45,445 --> 00:31:49,782 I THINK IT HELPS IF BOTH PEOPLE ARE EASY TO GET ALONG WITH, AND, 649 00:31:49,866 --> 00:31:55,330 OF COURSE, FRIENDSHIP, BEING FRIENDS IS VERY IMPORTANT, YOU 650 00:31:55,413 --> 00:31:56,039 KNOW. 651 00:31:56,122 --> 00:31:57,498 LIKING PEOPLE THAT YOU'RE WITH. 652 00:31:57,582 --> 00:32:01,044 >> Stephen: ARE YOU EASY TO GET ALONG WITH, CHRISTOPHER? 653 00:32:01,127 --> 00:32:02,128 >> YEAH. 654 00:32:02,211 --> 00:32:05,673 >> Stephen: DO YOU THINK OF YOURSELF AS EASY GOING? 655 00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:06,841 >> YES. 656 00:32:06,924 --> 00:32:08,843 >> Stephen: DO YOU THINK THAT PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY EASY 657 00:32:08,926 --> 00:32:12,221 GOING THINK OF THEMSELVES AS EASY GOING? 658 00:32:12,305 --> 00:32:15,350 OR DO YOU THINK THAT'S A WARNING THAT MAYBE YOU'RE NOT EASY GOING 659 00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:19,020 BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT A HIGH OPINION OF YOUR EASY GOING-NESS? 660 00:32:19,103 --> 00:32:23,483 >> NO, I THINK SOME PEOPLE ARE MISTAKEN ABOUT THAT, BUT I'M 661 00:32:23,566 --> 00:32:24,692 NOT. 662 00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:26,402 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WELL, CHRISTOPHER, 663 00:32:26,486 --> 00:32:27,695 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. 664 00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:28,905 SO NICE TO TALK TO YOU. 665 00:32:28,988 --> 00:32:30,740 >> THANK YOU, STEPHEN. 666 00:32:30,823 --> 00:32:33,743 IT'S A PLEASURE TO SEE YOU. 667 00:32:33,826 --> 00:32:34,494 >> Stephen: "WILD MOUNTAIN THYME" IS OUT NOW. 668 00:32:34,577 --> 00:32:35,495 CHRISTOPHER WALKEN, EVERYBODY. 669 00:32:35,578 --> 00:32:37,664 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CHANCE THE RAPPER. 670 00:32:53,096 --> 00:32:53,888 ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 671 00:32:53,971 --> 00:32:55,181 WELCOME BACK. 672 00:32:55,264 --> 00:33:00,186 TONIGHT, I'M EXCITED TO SIT DOWN WITH A THREE-TIME GRAMMY WINNING 673 00:33:00,269 --> 00:33:02,063 MUSICIAN WHO HAS JUST RELEASED A NEW ALBUM CALLED "MERRY 674 00:33:02,146 --> 00:33:03,106 CHRISTMAS LIL MAMA: THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING." 675 00:33:03,189 --> 00:33:07,985 PLEASE WELCOME CHANCE THE RAPPER! 676 00:33:08,069 --> 00:33:09,904 HELLO, CHANCE! 677 00:33:09,987 --> 00:33:10,571 >> HI, STEPHEN! 678 00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:12,198 >> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU. 679 00:33:12,281 --> 00:33:14,242 HOW ARE YOU? 680 00:33:14,325 --> 00:33:15,410 PEACE, PEACE. 681 00:33:15,493 --> 00:33:21,624 HERE'S THE THING -- IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, BUT I GET SLIGHTLY 682 00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:25,086 WEIRDED OUT WHEN IT'S THE SECOND TIME I'VE SPOKEN TO SOMEONE OVER 683 00:33:25,169 --> 00:33:26,087 ZOOM DURING COVID. 684 00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:26,963 >> YEAH. 685 00:33:27,046 --> 00:33:30,633 >> Stephen: HOW ARE YOU GUYS HOLDING UP? 686 00:33:30,717 --> 00:33:32,802 >> IT'S -- IT'S STILL GOING, STEPHEN. 687 00:33:32,885 --> 00:33:37,765 IT HAS NOT STOPPED BEING A PANDEMIC, BUT WE'RE BANNING 688 00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:40,560 TOGETHER, ME AND MY WIFE. 689 00:33:40,643 --> 00:33:43,396 WE'RE TAKING TURNS WITH THE KIDS AND -- 690 00:33:43,479 --> 00:33:45,148 >> Stephen: LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE YOU SAID YOU AND YOUR WIFE 691 00:33:45,231 --> 00:33:48,067 HOME WITH THE TWO DAUGHTERS, QUITE YOUNG, FIVE AND ONE, 692 00:33:48,151 --> 00:33:48,860 THAT'S CHALLENGING. 693 00:33:48,943 --> 00:33:52,155 YOU SAID THE KIDS ARE DEFEATING US. 694 00:33:52,238 --> 00:33:54,991 HAS THE PLAYING FIELD LEVELED OUT AT ALL? 695 00:33:55,074 --> 00:34:01,080 >> NO, IT'S STILL TWO-ZERO. 696 00:34:01,164 --> 00:34:03,750 THEY'RE VERY ANIMATED KIDS. 697 00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:07,253 MY YOUNGEST ONE, SHE DOESN'T SAY WORDS BUT SHE STILL TALKS AT 698 00:34:07,336 --> 00:34:08,463 LOT. 699 00:34:08,546 --> 00:34:11,299 THEY BOTH HAVE A LOT OF TALKING TO DOW DO THROUGHOUT THE DAY 700 00:34:11,382 --> 00:34:14,093 WHICH CAN BECOME A JOB IN ITSELF JUST RESPONDING TO YOUR KIDS. 701 00:34:14,177 --> 00:34:18,181 BUT IT'S BEEN GOOD OVERALL AND WE'VE GOT HOPE FROM OUR AWESOME 702 00:34:18,264 --> 00:34:21,184 NANNY AND OUR FRIENDS AND PARENTS WHEN THEY'RE WILLING TO 703 00:34:21,267 --> 00:34:23,478 WATCH THEM FOR A SECOND. 704 00:34:23,561 --> 00:34:26,981 BUT WHEN YOU HAVE TWO KIDS, YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE 20 KIDS. 705 00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:29,442 MORE THAN ONE IS -- >> Stephen: I'M HERE TO TELL 706 00:34:29,525 --> 00:34:33,488 YOU BECAUSE I HAVE MORE THAN TWO KIDS AND THAT IS A LIE. 707 00:34:33,571 --> 00:34:36,449 ( LAUGHTER ) ONE OF MY OLDEST FRIENDS, GUY 708 00:34:36,532 --> 00:34:39,660 NAMED SCOTT WEARY, WHEN HE HAD THREE KIDS AND I ONLY HAD TWO 709 00:34:39,744 --> 00:34:43,164 KIDS, HE SAID, MAN, YOU'VE GOT TO GO FOR THE THIRD, YOU'RE 710 00:34:43,247 --> 00:34:45,041 ALREADY MAXIMALLY INCONVENIENCED, YOU CAN'T GET 711 00:34:45,124 --> 00:34:46,292 MORE TIRED. 712 00:34:46,375 --> 00:34:50,004 AND THEN WE HAD THE THIRD KID, AND I WENT, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING 713 00:34:50,087 --> 00:34:51,422 ABOUT, THIS IS SO MUCH HARDER! 714 00:34:51,506 --> 00:34:55,802 HE SAID, YEAH, I LIED, WE DIDN'T WANT TO BE THE ONLY COUPLE THAT 715 00:34:55,885 --> 00:34:56,302 HAD THREE KIDS. 716 00:34:56,385 --> 00:34:57,970 SO I'LL LIE TO YOU. 717 00:34:58,054 --> 00:34:59,722 GO FOR THE THIRD ONE. 718 00:34:59,806 --> 00:35:00,264 DOESN'T GET HARDER. 719 00:35:00,348 --> 00:35:02,016 GO TO A ZONE DEFENSE. 720 00:35:02,099 --> 00:35:03,351 YOU WILL BE FINE. 721 00:35:03,434 --> 00:35:08,105 I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING THIS -- I'M VERY INTERESTED IN THIS -- 722 00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:12,819 YOU HAVE BEEN AN ONGOING PUBLIC CONVERSATION RECENTLY WITH DION 723 00:35:12,902 --> 00:35:13,319 WARWICK. 724 00:35:13,402 --> 00:35:14,487 >> YEAH. 725 00:35:14,570 --> 00:35:16,989 >> Stephen: SHE HAS TURNED INTO QUITE A MASTER OF TWITTER. 726 00:35:17,073 --> 00:35:20,117 SHE TWEETED AT YOU, HI, CHANCE THE RAPPER, IF YOU ARE VERY 727 00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:25,873 OBVIOUSLY A RAPPER WHY TID YOU PUT IT IN YOUR STAGE NAME? 728 00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:30,044 I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS. 729 00:35:30,127 --> 00:35:32,213 FIRST OF ALL, DION WARWICK! 730 00:35:32,296 --> 00:35:34,340 "SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR YOU"! 731 00:35:34,423 --> 00:35:38,427 WHAT DID YOU THINK WHEN YOU SAY THIS, HAD YOU MET HER BEFORE? 732 00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:42,390 >> NO, I WAS SURPRISED SHE KNEW WHO I WAS. 733 00:35:42,473 --> 00:35:43,224 IT'S STILL GOING. 734 00:35:43,307 --> 00:35:44,225 WE'RE APPARENTLY WORKING ON A SONG. 735 00:35:44,308 --> 00:35:48,271 >> Stephen: YOU AND DION WARWICK ARE DOING A SONG 736 00:35:48,354 --> 00:35:49,230 TOGETHER? 737 00:35:49,313 --> 00:35:51,941 >> YEAH, I KNOW, IT'S A HUGE, IMMENSE HONOR. 738 00:35:52,024 --> 00:35:54,735 SHE SHOUTED ME OUT ON TWITTER AND I FREAKED OUT FOR A WHILE 739 00:35:54,819 --> 00:35:58,739 AND HIT HER BACK, AND SHE STARTED CONTACTING ME IN REAL 740 00:35:58,823 --> 00:35:59,073 LIFE. 741 00:35:59,156 --> 00:36:00,032 IT'S A BLUR. 742 00:36:00,116 --> 00:36:02,118 IT FEELS LIKE MY FIRST TASTE OF REAL THING. 743 00:36:02,201 --> 00:36:04,078 >> Stephen: YOU FINALLY MADE IT. 744 00:36:04,161 --> 00:36:06,914 YOU'RE ON DION WARWICK'S RADAR. 745 00:36:06,998 --> 00:36:07,665 >> EXACTLY. 746 00:36:07,748 --> 00:36:08,749 I WENT TO STARBUCKS THE OTHER DAY. 747 00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:13,337 THEY'RE, LIKE, ARE YOU THE GUY THAT GOT TWEETED BY DION 748 00:36:13,421 --> 00:36:14,088 WARWICK? 749 00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:18,467 I'M, LIKE, IT'S ME, THE SAME GUY. 750 00:36:18,551 --> 00:36:22,972 >> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR EARLY BRUSHES WITH FAME. 751 00:36:23,055 --> 00:36:28,561 2021 IS GOING TO BE THE TEN-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF YOU RECORDING 752 00:36:28,644 --> 00:36:32,982 YOUR DEBUT MIX TAPE "TEN DAY." 753 00:36:33,065 --> 00:36:34,442 DOESN'T THAT SEEM FAST? 754 00:36:34,525 --> 00:36:38,112 DOES IT SEEM LIKE YESTERDAY OR HAS THIS BEEN A LONG TEN YEARS 755 00:36:38,195 --> 00:36:39,864 FOR YOU? 756 00:36:39,947 --> 00:36:40,740 >> I GUESS SO. 757 00:36:40,823 --> 00:36:42,783 MY HIGH SCHOOL REUNION IS NEXT YEAR. 758 00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:49,081 IT WILL BE TEN YEARS SINCE I GOT MY SUSPENDED, SINCE I MADE MY 759 00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:49,957 TEN-DAY SUSPENSION MIXED TAPE. 760 00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:51,125 THAT'S CRAZY TO THINK ABOUT. 761 00:36:51,208 --> 00:36:54,295 I FEEL LIKE, WHEN I FIRST STARTED, I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING 762 00:36:54,378 --> 00:36:59,467 ELSE TO RAP ABOUT OTHER THAN BEING SUSPENDED, SO I'M GLAD I'M 763 00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:02,511 GROWN AND I CAN RAP ABOUT BEING MARRIED AND OTHER COOL THINGS 764 00:37:02,595 --> 00:37:06,140 GOING ON IN MY LIFE. 765 00:37:06,223 --> 00:37:08,309 >> Stephen: WHAT'S YOUR EARLIEST MUSICAL MEMORY? 766 00:37:08,392 --> 00:37:10,478 >> MY EARLIEST MUSICAL MEMORY? 767 00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:13,356 THE FIRST TIME THAT I PERFORMED, I REMEMBER, IT WAS -- 768 00:37:13,439 --> 00:37:15,816 >> Stephen: HOW OLD WERE YOU? 769 00:37:15,900 --> 00:37:16,984 IT WAS FIVE. 770 00:37:17,068 --> 00:37:20,279 IT WAS AT MY KINDERGARTEN GRADUATION AND I ACTUALLY -- I 771 00:37:20,363 --> 00:37:24,158 HAD MY OWN LINE IN THE PROGRAM. 772 00:37:24,241 --> 00:37:28,704 IT WAS SAID CHANCELLOR BENNETT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, MICHAEL 773 00:37:28,788 --> 00:37:29,830 JACKSON DANCE. 774 00:37:29,914 --> 00:37:32,333 I DID A MICHAEL JACKSON IMPERSONATION WITH THE GLASSES 775 00:37:32,416 --> 00:37:33,542 AND ALL. 776 00:37:33,626 --> 00:37:38,339 >> Stephen: WAS IT BILLIE JEAN OR THRILLER OR WHAT WAS THAT? 777 00:37:38,422 --> 00:37:41,300 >> I THINK YOU WERE THERE, IT WAS BILLIE JEAN. 778 00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:42,134 HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? 779 00:37:42,218 --> 00:37:43,386 ( LAUGHTER ) YEAH, I KILLED IT, THOUGH. 780 00:37:43,469 --> 00:37:51,519 I WAS VERY POISED, CUTE KID, VERY INTO SINGING AND DANCING AT 781 00:37:51,602 --> 00:37:53,854 THE TIME. 782 00:37:53,938 --> 00:37:55,398 MIKE, OVERALL, SHAPED MY LOVE FOR MUSIC. 783 00:37:55,481 --> 00:38:01,070 I HAD THE CASETTES AND THE VIDEOS AND WE WERE WATCHING AT 784 00:38:01,153 --> 00:38:02,196 THE HOUSE. 785 00:38:02,279 --> 00:38:05,324 HE VERY MUCH SO SHAPED MY LOVE FOR MUSIC AT A YOUNG AGE. 786 00:38:05,408 --> 00:38:09,370 >> Stephen: YOU USED TO DEAL WITH RAP OPEN MICS WHEN YOU WERE 787 00:38:09,453 --> 00:38:10,621 A KID. 788 00:38:10,705 --> 00:38:14,834 YOU GOT ADVICE FROM A GUY NAMED BROTHER MIKE AFTER, LIKE, SECOND 789 00:38:14,917 --> 00:38:15,501 OR THIRD TIME YOU WENT UP. 790 00:38:15,584 --> 00:38:16,711 >> YEAH. 791 00:38:16,794 --> 00:38:22,216 SO I USED TO DO THIS OPEN MICT AT A LIBRARY, AND MY MENTOR WAS 792 00:38:22,299 --> 00:38:24,343 A GUY NAMED BROTHER MIKE. 793 00:38:24,427 --> 00:38:25,511 HE PASSED AWAY. 794 00:38:25,594 --> 00:38:29,557 HE WAS A GREAT, GREAT MAN, MENTORED A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT OF 795 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:34,395 CHICAGO, AT LOT OF PEOPLE THAT ARE ARTISTS NOW CAME OUT OF THE 796 00:38:34,478 --> 00:38:35,604 SAME MUSIC PROGRAM. 797 00:38:35,688 --> 00:38:38,357 BUT I WOULD GO UP THERE TO THE OPEN MIC AND I GARNERED MY OWN 798 00:38:38,441 --> 00:38:41,444 FAN BASE AT THE OPEN MIC OF KIDS THAT CAME SPECIFICALLY TO SEE 799 00:38:41,527 --> 00:38:48,075 ME, AND I WOULD DO THE SONG I CALLED BRAIN CELLS ABOUT SMOKING 800 00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:52,747 WEED AND GETTING RID OF BRAIN CELLS, BUT I PERFORMED IT EVERY 801 00:38:52,830 --> 00:38:53,205 WEEK. 802 00:38:53,289 --> 00:38:53,748 THE KIDS LOVED IT. 803 00:38:53,831 --> 00:38:55,374 IT WAS A FAN FAVORITE. 804 00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:59,336 BROTHER MIC PULLED ME TO THE SIDE AND SAID IF YOU PERFORM 805 00:38:59,420 --> 00:39:03,215 THAT AGAIN I WILL NEVER LET YOU PERFORM AGAIN. 806 00:39:03,299 --> 00:39:05,384 IT WASN'T BECAUSE TO HAVE THE CONTENT. 807 00:39:05,468 --> 00:39:07,053 HE WANTED ME TO EXPAND. 808 00:39:07,136 --> 00:39:08,304 I GOT IN A COMFORT ZONE. 809 00:39:08,387 --> 00:39:10,681 THAT WAS A SONG I KNEW THE WORDS THAT PEOPLE RESPONDED POSITIVELY 810 00:39:10,765 --> 00:39:12,725 >> Stephen: THAT'S A VOTE OF CONFIDENCE IN YOU AS AN ARTIST. 811 00:39:12,808 --> 00:39:15,895 >> YEAH, IT STUCK WITH ME AND MADE ME REALIZE IF I'M AN 812 00:39:15,978 --> 00:39:21,275 ARTIST, I'VE GOT TO KEEP MAKING STUFF, YOU KNOW. 813 00:39:21,358 --> 00:39:22,485 >> Stephen: CHANCE, WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. 814 00:39:22,568 --> 00:39:26,322 WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL TALK ABOUT HIS NEW CHRISTMAS ALBUM. 815 00:39:26,405 --> 00:39:27,364 STICK AROUND. 816 00:39:58,562 --> 00:39:59,271 ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. 817 00:39:59,355 --> 00:40:00,606 WE'RE HERE WITH CHANCE THE RAPPER. 818 00:40:00,689 --> 00:40:05,611 JEREMIAH AND CHANCE, HERE IT IS. 819 00:40:05,694 --> 00:40:08,656 "MERRY CHRISTMAS LIL MAMA: THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING." 820 00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:09,740 >> YES, SIR. 821 00:40:09,824 --> 00:40:11,659 >> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND JEREMIAH ACTUALLY HAD COVID. 822 00:40:11,742 --> 00:40:13,828 HOW'S HE DOING? 823 00:40:13,911 --> 00:40:16,372 >> SO, YEAH, THAT WAS A REALLY TOUGH THING WE WENT THROUGH THIS 824 00:40:16,455 --> 00:40:17,331 YEAR. 825 00:40:17,414 --> 00:40:20,668 I'VE KNOWN JEREMIAH FOR FIVE OR SIX YEARS NOW. 826 00:40:20,751 --> 00:40:23,379 HE'S ONE OF MY REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. 827 00:40:23,462 --> 00:40:26,340 WE'VE MADE CHRISTMAS SONGS IN THE POST AND WE GOT TOGETHER TO 828 00:40:26,423 --> 00:40:28,509 MAKE MORE THIS YEAR AND HE CAME DOWN WITH COVID. 829 00:40:28,592 --> 00:40:33,514 HE WAS REALLY NOT DOING SO WELL IN THE HOSPITAL FOR I THINK 830 00:40:33,597 --> 00:40:34,515 THREE AND A HALF WEEKS. 831 00:40:34,598 --> 00:40:36,058 >> Stephen: DAMN. 832 00:40:36,142 --> 00:40:40,229 AND ON A VENTILATOR AND IT WAS, LIKE, THE FULL THING AND 833 00:40:40,312 --> 00:40:45,526 REALLY HAD A MIRACULOUS GOD SEND OF A RECOVERY. 834 00:40:45,609 --> 00:40:48,863 SO HE'S DOING MUCH STRONGER. 835 00:40:48,946 --> 00:40:52,533 ACTUALLY JUST SAW HIM YESTERDAY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A MONTH. 836 00:40:52,616 --> 00:40:54,368 YEAH, IT'S JUST A BLESSING. 837 00:40:54,451 --> 00:40:56,579 HE IS DOING BETTER. 838 00:40:56,662 --> 00:40:58,914 HE'S GETTING STRONGER EVERY DAY. 839 00:40:58,998 --> 00:41:00,457 HE'S BEEN DOING REHAB WORK FOR WALKING AND STUFF. 840 00:41:00,541 --> 00:41:03,335 HE'S WALKING WITHOUT ASSISTANCE. 841 00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:04,253 HE'S IN A GOOD SPACE. 842 00:41:04,336 --> 00:41:06,046 I'M VERY, VERY PROUD OF MY GUY. 843 00:41:06,130 --> 00:41:11,427 >> Stephen: WELL, IS THERE A FAVORITE SONG OFF OF THIS? 844 00:41:11,510 --> 00:41:13,220 >> THERE IS, ACTUALLY. 845 00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:16,223 YEAH, THERE'S A NEW SONG ON THERE CALLED WHO'S TO SAY. 846 00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:23,689 IT'S THE OUTRO ON THE RECORD. 847 00:41:23,772 --> 00:41:27,067 I MADE IT FOR MY FAMILY MORE THAN MYSELF. 848 00:41:27,151 --> 00:41:29,862 IT'S ABOUT FORGIVENESS AND SOME OF THE HARD CONVERSATIONS WE 849 00:41:29,945 --> 00:41:33,574 DON'T HAVE AS A FAMILY AND WE TRY TO MULL OVER DURING THE 850 00:41:33,657 --> 00:41:34,742 HOLIDAYS. 851 00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:38,704 AND, YEAH, I HAD -- AFTER THE RECORD DROPPED LAST FRIDAY, MY 852 00:41:38,787 --> 00:41:43,918 FAMILY GROUP CHAT STARTED TALK ABOUT THE SONG AND WE JUST HAD A 853 00:41:44,001 --> 00:41:47,588 REAL NICE, VERY RARE, CATHARTIC MOMENT IN A GROUP CHAT WHERE WE 854 00:41:47,671 --> 00:41:50,716 TALKED AND TOLD EACH OTHER HOW MUCH WE LOVED EACH OTHER. 855 00:41:50,799 --> 00:41:53,928 IT WAS VERY DIFFERENT FROM MY FAMILY. 856 00:41:54,011 --> 00:41:55,095 IT WAS VERY COOL. 857 00:41:55,179 --> 00:41:57,431 I WAS PROUD OF THAT SONG SPECIFICALLY, BUT THE RECORD AS 858 00:41:57,514 --> 00:42:00,100 A WHOLE IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM MOST HOLIDAY ALBUMS. 859 00:42:00,184 --> 00:42:04,980 YOU HAVE TO KIND OF -- ONCE YOU HEAR IT, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND, 860 00:42:05,064 --> 00:42:05,898 YEAH. 861 00:42:05,981 --> 00:42:06,732 >> Stephen: CHANCE, GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN. 862 00:42:06,815 --> 00:42:09,610 >> ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU. 863 00:42:09,693 --> 00:42:11,487 >> Stephen: THE ALBUM IS "MERRY CHRISTMAS LIL MAMA: THE 864 00:42:11,570 --> 00:42:14,448 GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING." 865 00:42:14,531 --> 00:42:14,949 CHANCE THE RAPPER, EVERYBODY! 866 00:42:15,032 --> 00:42:15,991 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 867 00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:18,369 SAY HI TO DION WARWICK FOR ME! 868 00:42:25,334 --> 00:42:27,253 >> STEPHEN: THAT'S IT FOR "A LATE SHOW." 869 00:42:27,336 --> 00:42:28,671 I WANT TO THANK LAURA BENANTI. 870 00:42:28,754 --> 00:42:30,714 JUST FOR BEING THE WAY SHE IS. 871 00:42:30,798 --> 00:42:32,508 HER NEW SERIES, "HOMESCHOOL MUSICAL: CLASS OF 2020," WILL BE 872 00:42:32,591 --> 00:42:35,261 AVAILABLE ON HBO MAX THIS THURSDAY. 873 00:42:35,344 --> 00:42:40,641 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE ANDERSON COOPER, ANDY 874 00:42:40,724 --> 00:42:42,142 COHEN, AND WHOOPI GOLDBERG. 875 00:42:42,226 --> 00:42:42,518 JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. 876 00:42:42,601 --> 00:42:46,272 GOOD NIGHT. 877 00:42:46,355 --> 00:42:47,439 ♪ ♪ 878 00:42:47,523 --> 00:42:47,564 ♪ Captioning sponsored by CBS 879 00:42:50,401 --> 00:42:54,321 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 880 00:42:54,405 --> 00:42:54,697 access.wgbh.org ♪ ♪ ♪ 881 00:43:09,628 --> 00:43:14,341 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 882 00:43:14,425 --> 00:43:18,470 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 883 00:43:18,554 --> 00:43:24,560 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 884 00:43:24,643 --> 00:43:30,399 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 885 00:43:30,482 --> 00:43:34,361 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 886 00:43:34,445 --> 00:43:34,653 ♪ ♪ ♪