>> A BRITISH TABLOID IS REPORTING AN EXPLOSIVE SCENE ON
THE U.K. SET OF ACTOR TOM CRUISE'S NEW MOVIE "MISSION:
IMPOSSIBLE 7".
IN AN EXPLETIVE-LADEN RANT, CRUISE SCOLDED CREW MEMBERS FOR
NOT PRACTICING PROPER SOCIAL DISTANCING GUIDELINES THAT THEY
WERE SUPPOSED TO, AND THE REPRIMAND WAS CAUGHT ON TAPE:
♪ ♪ ♪ >> SANTA, RUDOLPH ISN'T
FOLLOWING OUR COVID SAFETY PROTOCOLS.
>> WELL, THEN WHO WILL GUIDE YOUR SLEIGH TONIGHT, SANTA?
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT: SNOW PLACE LIKE HOME.
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES TOM HANKS
AND MUSICAL GUEST LESLIE ODOM JR.
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HOMIN'.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
LET'S SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
WHAT'S THE BIG STORY TONIGHT?
WELL, LOOK OUTSIDE, BECAUSE DEPENDING ON WHERE YOU LIVE, IT
MIGHT NOT BE THERE.
SNOW IS BATTERING THE EAST COAST, AND OVER 60 MILLION
PEOPLE ARE UNDER A WINTER STORM WATCH.
PEOPLE ARE BEING ASKED TO STAY HOME, OF ALL THINGS.
CAN YOU IMAGINE, JUST SITTING AROUND IN YOUR HOUSE FOR DAYS ON
END, NOWHERE TO GO, JUST WATCHING TV?
HOW WILL WE ADJUST?
NOW, I'M IN THE NEW YORK AREA, WHICH IS EXPECTED TO GET 12-18
INCHES TONIGHT.
IT'S COMING DOWN SO HARD.
LE ME LOOK OUT MY WINDOW.
JIMMY, YOU CAN GIVE US A LIVE SHOT OVER HERE, PLEASE.
WOW, THAT'S INTENSE.
LOOK AT THAT.
PUT ON A JACKET!
YOU'LL CATCH A CHILL!
HIS LIPS ARE SO CHAPPED.
MAN, THAT GUY IS RIPPED!
THERE ARE NO CARBS IN WESTEROS.
FORECASTERS SAID THAT THE STORM WILL LIKELY COVER NEARLY 1,000
MILES WITH HEAVY SNOW, FREEZING RAIN, AND STRONG WINDS.
AW, JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS.
IT'S JUST LIKE THE SONG: ♪ I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE
CHRISTMAS ♪ AHHHHHH!
I HIT SOME BLACK ICE!
HOLD ON!
WE'RE GOING INTO THE CULVERT, KIDS!
SO IF YOU ARE OUT RIGHT NOW, PLEASE BE SAFE.
I MEAN, IT'S GETTING PRETTY NASTY RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW.
JIM, CAN WE GIVE A LIVE SHOT AGAIN.
WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?
>> COME ON!
GIMME A SIGN HERE!
>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT GOOD.
THAT'S NOT GOOD.
REMINDER TO EVERYBODY OUT THERE: THE A.S.P.C.A. RECOMMENDS YOU DO
NOT LEAVE YOUR DOGS AND CATS OUTSIDE TONIGHT.
REMEMBER TO STUFF THEM INSIDE YOUR TAUNTAUN.
YOU THINK IT SOUNDS BAD ON THE OUTSIDE.
MUCH SNOWFALL, WE'D EXPECT TO SEE SCHOOL CANCELLATIONS, BUT
BECAUSE OF REMOTE LEARNING, BILL DE BLAISO HAD BAD NEWS FOR
NEW YORK CITY KIDS: >> THE SNOW DAY, AS WE KNEW IT
AS KIDS, WHEN WE LOOKED FORWARD TO A DAY OFF.
YES, IT'S TRUE, THAT'S NOW GOING TO BE A THING OF THE PAST, THAT
EVEN WHEN KIDS ARE HOME BECAUSE OF THE SNOW, THEY WILL STILL BE
LEARNING.
>> Stephen: NO!
THIS IS AN ABOMINATION-- NOT JUST FOR KIDS, BUT FOR PARENTS.
THE SNOW DAY IS THE RARE OPPORTUNITY TO WAKE UP YOUR
CHILD WITH THE GREATEST NEWS IMAGINABLE!
"HONEY, THERE'S NO SCHOOL TODAY.
YOU'RE JUST GOING TO TOBOGGAN FOR EIGHT HOURS, THEN DRINK HOT
CHOCOLATE.
NOW GO BACK TO SLEEP, OKAY, WHILE DADDY HAS HIS MORNING
WINE.
LET'S HAVE ANOTHER LOOK OUTSIDE THE WINDOW.
JACK TORRANCE.
HOW DOES IT LOOK OUTSIDE?
AL WORK AND NO PLAY HAS MADE JACK A COLD BOY.
SPEAKING OF WINTERY WEATHER, THE PRESIDENT'S ATTEMPTS TO
OVERTHROW THE 2020 ELECTION HAVE A SNOWBALL'S CHANCE IN HELL.
HE LOST HIS RECOUNTS, HIS LAWSUITS HAVE BEEN THROW OUT
OF COURT, AND HIS PLANS TO RETROACTIVELY DECLARE NOVEMBER 3
NATIONAL OPPOSITE DAY HAVE FAILED.
ON MONDAY, THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE CERTIFIED JOE BIDEN'S WIN; AND
YESTERDAY, SENATE MAJORITY LEADER, MITCH McCONNELL
CONGRATULATED BIDEN ON HIS VICTORY.
EVEN McCONNELL HAS JUMPED SHIP.
LUCKILY, HIS WADDLE WORKS AS A FLOTATION DEVICE.
( LAUGHTER ) THE PRESIDENT WAS NOT PLEASED,
WITH McCONNELL, TWEETING, "MITCH, 75,000,000 VOTES, A
RECORD FOR A SITTING PRESIDENT-- BY A LOT
TOO SOON TO GIVE UP.
REPUBLICAN PARTY MUST FINALLY LEARN TO FIGHT.
PEOPLE ARE ANGRY!" I SEE.
"PEOPLE" ARE ANGRY.
ARE PEOPLE FEELING A LITTLE ISOLATED?
MAYBE PEOPLE ARE A LITTLE SAD?
NOW, I UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE MUST BE FEELING A LITTLE LONELY
AND SCARED RIGHT NOW.
AND I'M SURE PEOPLE ARE UPSET THAT WE THE PEOPLE DIDN'T VOTE
FOR PEOPLE.
MAYBE PEOPLE ARE STRESS-EATING A CAN OF DUNCAN HINES FROSTING?
IT WOULD BE NICE IF "PEOPLE'S" WIFE WAS MAYBE MORE
UNDERSTANDING AND WANTED TO BE AROUND PEOPLE.
BUT REGARDLESS OF HOW ANGRY PEOPLE ARE, PEOPLE NEED TO GROW
THE (BLEEP) UP.
( LAUGHTER ) EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN THAT
TWEET IS THE FACT THAT THE PRESIDENT WROTE IT AT NEARLY
1:00 A.M. ON WEDNESDAY.
OOF.
THE ONLY REASON TO BE UP AT 1:00 A.M. ON A WEDNESDAY IS IF YOU
HAD A REALLY BIG TACO TUESDAY.
OF COURSE, THE PRESIDENT WOULDN'T BE FEELING THIS WAY
IF IT WASN'T FOR THE WORK OF PEOPLE LIKE BIDEN CAMPAIGN
MANAGER JEN O'MALLEY DILLON, SEEN HERE ON THE COVER OF HER
RAP ALBUM "STRAIGHT OUTTA SOUTHAMPTON."
O'MALLEY DILLON SAT DOWN FOR AN INTERVIEW WITH "GLAMOUR"
MAGAZINE AND HAD THIS TO SAY ABOUT BIDEN'S ONGOING CALLS FOR
BIPARTISANSHIP: "THE PRESIDENT-ELECT WAS ABLE TO
CONNECT WITH PEOPLE OVER THIS SENSE OF UNITY.
IN THE PRIMARY, PEOPLE WOULD MOCK HIM, LIKE, "YOU THINK YOU
CAN WORK WITH REPUBLICANS?" SHE ADDED, "I'M NOT SAYING
THEY'RE NOT A BUNCH OF (BLEEP).
MITCH McCONNELL IS TERRIBLE."
OKAY, SO THERE'S KUMBAYA, BUT THERE'S ALSO KISS MY BUTT.
NOW, INSULTING YOUR COUNTRYMEN MAY SEEM LIKE A STRANGE WAY
TO BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER, BUT JOE BIDEN WANTS TO BUILD A TRUE
BIG TENT, WHERE EVERYONE IS WELCOME: THE TERRIBLE PEOPLE,
THE (BLEEP), WHERE THE DOUCHE NOZZLE SITS AT THE TABLE OF
BROTHERHOOD NEXT TO THE ASSHAT, WHERE THE NUMBNUT HOLDS HANDS
WITH THE JACKHOLE, WHERE THE PUTZ CAN RAISE HIS SCHMUCK-FACE
CHILDREN TO BE ANY KIND OF DILLWEED THEY WANT.
THAT KIND OF OUTREACH HAS TO BE IN THE PRESIDENTIAL TOOLKIT.
ALSO, MITCH McCONNELL'S A TOOL.
JOE BIDEN CONTINUES TO ACT LIKE A GUY WHO'S ABOUT TO BE
PRESIDENT.
FOR INSTANCE, TOMORROW, HE'S TALKING TO ME.
AND TODAY, THE PRESIDENT-ELECT ANNOUNCED HE WILL NOMINATE PETE
BUTTIGIEG TO BE SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION.
MAYOR BUTTIGIEG, OBVIOUSLY, UNDERSTANDS TRANSPORTATION.
AFTER ALL, HE'S A RHODES SCHOLAR.
( ♪ "GROOVE IS IN THE HEART" ♪ >> BE THE MILLIONTH PERSON TO
MAKE THIS JOKE.
WIN A FREE SLAM!
>> Stephen: IT'S A HISTORIC NOMINATION.
BUTTIGIEG WILL BE THE FIRST OPENLY L.G.B.T.Q. PERSON IN ANY
CABINET.
THOUGH IT IS POSSIBLE THAT NOBODY TOLD THE PRESIDENT-ELECT.
>> AND BY THE WAY, JILL AND I ALWAYS ENJOYED SEEING PETE AND
KRISTEN-- OR CHASTEN, I SHOULD SAY-- TOGETHER ON THE TRAIL.
( AS BIDEN ) "SORRY, SOMETIMES I GET MY
L.G.'s MIXED UP WITH MY B.T.Q.'S AND MY B.L.T.'S.
HEY, DON'T BE TOO OFFENDED.
REMEMBER, ONE TIME I THOUGHT MY WIFE WAS MY SISTER.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, GIL?
JILL."
I COULD GO FOR A B.L.T.
WHEN IT WAS HIS TURN TO TAKE THE STAGE, MAYOR PETE EXTOLLED THE
VIRTUES OF TRANSPORTATION: >> TRAVEL, IN MY MIND, IS
SYNONYMOUS WITH GROWTH, WITH ADVENTURE, EVEN LOVE, SO MUCH SO
THAT I PROPOSED TO MY HUSBAND, CHASTEN, IN AN AIRPORT TERMINAL.
DON'T LET ANYBODY TELL YOU THAT O'HARE ISN'T ROMANTIC.
>> Stephen: AND IT WASN'T JUST THE ENGAGEMENT.
THEY HELD THE RECEPTION AT CHILI'S TOO.
THEY REGISTERED AT "HUDSON NEWS."
"OH, MAN, SOMEBODY ALREADY BOUGHT THE "WELCOME TO CHICAGO"
SNOWGLOBE.
SHOULD WE GET THEM A NECK PILLOW OR A $15 BAG OF GUMMY BEARS?"
NOW, BUTTIGIEG RECOGNIZED HOW HISTORIC HIS NOMINATION WAS.
>> I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK OF A 17-YEAR-OLD SOMEWHERE WHO MIGHT
BE WATCHING US RIGHT NOW, SOMEBODY WHO WONDERS WHETHER AND
WHERE THEY BELONG IN THE WORLD OR EVEN IN THEIR OWN FAMILY.
AND I'M THINKING ABOUT THE MESSAGE THAT TODAY'S
ANNOUNCEMENT IS SENDING TO THEM.
>> Stephen: YOU HEAR THAT, 17-YEAR-OLD?
YOU STAY IN SCHOOL, AND SOMEDAY YOU, TOO, MAY SEE YOUR NAME ON A
SIGN OUTSIDE A TRUCK WEIGH STATION.
I'M TALKING LEGENDS LIKE CLAUDE S. BRINEGAR, NEIL E.
GOLDSCHMIDT, AND OUR CURRENT SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION--
I HAVE NO IDEA.
IT'S NOT JUST REPUBLICAN SENATORS BAILING ON THE CURRENT
ADMINISTRATION.
SO ARE ITS OWN STAFF MEMBERS.
A LITTLE WHILE BACK, I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE STATE DEPARTMENT'S
HOLIDAY PARTY PLANNED BY SECRETARY OF STATE AND
MARSHMALLOW PEEP IN THE MICROWAVE, MIKE POMPEO.
DESPITE THE PANDEMIC, POMPEO INVITED 900 GUESTS.
WELL, THE BIG EVENT WAS YESTERDAY, AND TURNS OUT,
EVERYBODY HAD A GREAT TIME NOT GOING BECAUSE HUNDREDS OF
INVITEES SKIPPED MIKE POMPEO'S PARTY.
DON'T FEEL BAD, MR. SECRETARY.
IT'S NOT THAT THEY DON'T LIKE YOU.
IT'S THAT THEY THINK YOU'RE A MORON FOR HOLDING A PARTY DURING
A PANDEMIC.
THAT'S WHY THEY DON'T LIKE YOU.
THE NUMBERS WERE PRETTY LOW.
OUT OF THE 900 PEOPLE INVITED, ABOUT 70 PEOPLE R.S.V.P.'d, AND
ONLY A FEW DOZEN SHOWED UP.
A FEW DOZEN PEOPLE?
LET'S BE GENEROUS AND SAY IT WAS 36 PEOPLE.
THAT'S AROUND 4% OF THE INVITES.
THOSE WHO BRAVED THE CONTAGION TO ATTEND WERE TREATED TO A
SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY...
A MASKED SANTA.
WAIT A SECOND, I RECOGNIZE THAT PHYSIQUE.
NICE TRY, MR. PRESIDENT.
I THINK SOMEONE JUST WANTED UNLIMITED COOKIES AND TO KISS
PEOPLE'S MOMMIES.
GUESTS HOPING TO HEAR FROM POMPEO WERE DISAPPOINTED,
BECAUSE AT THE LAST MINUTE, THE SECRETARY CANCELED HIS SPEECH
AND TAPPED A SUBSTITUTE SPEAKER.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
YOU'RE THE HOST OF THE DUMB PARTY!
THAT'S LIKE GOING, "UH, THANKS, EVERYONE, COMING TO ME AND
MICHELLE'S ENGAGEMENT PARTY.
LOOKS LIKE THERE'S JUST A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE HERE, SO I TAP
ROGER AS A SUBSTITUTE GROOM.
GOOD LUCK, ROG.
SHE'S A HELL OF A LADY, BUT NOT VERY POPULAR, EVIDENTLY."
BUT POMPEO WAS THERE, AND HE IS NOW IN QUARANTINE DUE TO
COVID-19 EXPOSURE AFTER THE HOLIDAY PARTY.
IT'S JUST LIKE WHEN EBENEZER SCROOGE LEARNED HIS LESSON AFTER
GETTING A VISIT FROM THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS OBVIOUS.
OKAY, ENOUGH MEAT.
LET'S GET TO THE CHRISTMAS CANDY.
IT'S TIME FOR "LATE SHOW HOT GOSS."
( SIZZLE ) BECAUSE WE'VE GOT SOME BIG
CELEBRITY NEWS.
I'M TALKING ABOUT BLOCKBUSTER MEGA STAR AND MAN WHO I WILL
NOT MAKE A JOKE ABOUT BECAUSE I'VE NEVER INTERVIEWED HIM, AND
I'D LIKE THAT TO HAPPEN SOMEDAY, TOM CRUISE.
CRUISE IS CURRENTLY IN THE U.K.
SHOOTING THE NEW MISSION IMPOSSIBLE SEQUEL, "MISSION
IMPOSSIBLE 7: TURNS OUT THE FIRST SIX TIMES WERE POSSIBLE."
WHILE HE WAS ON SET, CRUISE NOTICED TWO CREW MEMBERS
STANDING TOO CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER IN FRONT OF A COMPUTER
SCREEN, VIOLATING THE MOVIE'S STRICT COVID-19 SAFETY
PROTOCOLS.
WHICH, TO BE FAIR, ARE HARD TO SEE, BECAUSE THEY'RE...
GHOST PROTOCOLS.
NO SOUND EFFECT?
WE HAVE NO SOUND EFFECTS?
WE WILL NEVER HAVE SOUND EFFECTS OR THEY WILL BE LAID IN LATER?
WE'LL FIND OUT.
>> Stephen: OF COURSE-- I DON'T WANT THEM NOW.
YOU REALIZE I DON'T WANT THEM NOW.
OF COURSE, CRUISE TAKES THE SAFETY OF HIS PRODUCTION VERY
SERIOUSLY.
AND SEEING THE RULES BROKEN MADE HIM FLIP OUT, RESULTING IN
THIS LEAKED AUDIO: >> Stephen: IS THAT IT?
>> THAT'S IT!
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
GLAD I CHECKED.
NOW, AS INTENSE AS THAT SOUNDS, AND IT DOES SOUND INTENSE,
THAT'S JUST THE AUDIO.
HE SAID ALL OF THAT WHILE HALO JUMPING FROM A C-17 ONTO THE
MINUTE HAND OF BIG BEN.
YES, TOM CRUISE DOES ALL OF HIS OWN RANTS.
NOW, THE RECORDING GOES ON FOR MORE THAN THREE MINUTES.
MUCH LIKE THE "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE" FRANCHISE ITSELF, IT
GETS KIND OF REPETITIVE, BUT IT NEVER LETS UP ON THE ADRENALINE.
NOW, THIS IS THE RARE CELEBRITY RANT WHERE I LISTENED AND WENT:
"YEAH, HE'S GOT A POINT."
I DON'T KNOW IF WE NEED THE SCREAM OR ANY OF THE POTTY TALK,
BUT CRUISE IS THE PRODUCER OF THE MOVIE, AND HE HAS TO SET
SAFETY STANDARDS TO PROTECT EVERYONE'S JOB ON HIS FILM AND
ALL THE OTHER PENDING PRODUCTIONS LOOKING TO SEE IF
SHOOTING DURING COVID CAN BE DONE RESPONSIBLY.
BUT IT'S THE NOT THE FIRST TIME HE'S LOST HIS COOL WHILE
FILMING.
THE TEAM AT "LATE SHOW HOT GOSS" HAS OBTAINED EXCLUSIVE AUDIO OF
CRUISE ON SET BACK IN 1983.
>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
TOM HANKS IS HERE.
WON'T YOU STICK AROUND FOR TOM HANKS.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."
HOPE YOU'RE STAYING WARM.
LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE.
JON, WHERE YOU ARE, ARE YOU GETTING POUNDED WITH SNOW RIGHT
NOW?
>> Jon: YES, I AM, THERE'S SO MUCH SNOW OUTSIDE.
YOU KNOW, IT'S A WHITE CHRISTMAS.
>> Stephen: DID YOU-- NO SNOW.
THERE'S NEVER SNOW IN NEW ORLEANS, RIGHT, EVER FOR ANYONE
REASON?
>> Jon: NO,UN THE 17 YEARS THEY GREW UP IN NEW ORLEANS, WE
DIDN'T HAVE SNOW ONE TIME.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
>> Stephen: SO NEVER A SNOW DAY?
NEVER A SNOW DAY.
>> Jon: NO, NEVER A SNOW DAY, MAN.
WE HAD LONG FALL.
( LAUGHTER ) FALL EXTENDED, YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: WELL, JON, I'M ABOUT TO TALK TO MR. TOM HANKS.
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU GOT, A LITTLE MUSIC-- MUSIC FOR HANKS?
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, THE HANKS-- THE BEAUTIFUL MR. HANKS.
♪ ♪ ♪ THAT'S SOMETHING FOR HANKS.
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU, JON.
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
♪ DA-DEE-DA♪ >> Stephen: MY GUEST THIS
EVENING IS A GREAT BIG MOVIE STAR WHO HAS A NEW FILM, "NEWS
OF THE WORLD."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," TOM HANKS!
HELLO, TOM.
>> HEY, STEVE.
HOW ARE YOU?
>> Stephen: I'M DOING-- I'M DOING OKAY.
IT'S-- I'M IN THE OFFICE NOW.
LAST TIME YOU SAW ME, I WAS AT HOME.
I'M-- >> YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN TALKING
TO YOUR CRACK STAFF.
I'M A LITTLE DISTURBED BY THIS DUAL OFFICE THING YOU HAVE.
>> Stephen: WHAT?
>> BECAUSE I JUST READ-- I JUST READ THAT PUTIN-- THAT'S RIGHT,
THAT PUTIN-- HAS TWO IDENTICAL OFFICES, ONE IN THE KREMLIN IN
MOSCOW, AND THEN ONE ON THE BEACH DOWN ON THE BLACK SEA.
AND SO NO ONE REALLY KNOWS IS HE AT WORK?
IS HE IN THE WORK OFFICE?
OR IS HE-- IS HE DOWN THERE?
IT STRIKES ME AS A VERY, YOU KNOW, DESPOTIC THING TO DO TO
HAVE TWO OFFICES.
SO WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE YOU ARE.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS THE REAL STEPHEN COLBERT
OR IF IT'S MY BODY DOUBLE.
>> YOU COULD HAVE A GUY THAT SORT OF LOOKS LIKE YOU WITH THE
BAD HAIR AND THE WHOLE BIT AND A COUPLE OF PROSTHETICS --
>> Stephen: YOU HAD TO GO FOR THE EAR.
BALDY!
( LAUGHTER ) >> OH, MAN, I WISH I HAD
SOMETHING FOR YOU.
>> Stephen: YOU EVER SEE THAT MOVIE "DAVE?"
I COULD BE KEVIN KLINE RIGHT NOW.
>> YOU COULD-- YOU COULD BE, YOU COULD BE.
>> Stephen: TOM, TOM HANKS, THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU'VE
JOINED US UNDER COVID CONDITIONS.
THAT GIVES YOU SOME-- SOME IDEA.
WE'VE NOW ACHIEVED TWO HANKS' WORTH OF COVID-19--
>> WELL, MUCH, MUCH LIKE THE VICE-- THE VACCINE REQUIRES TWO,
TWO INOCULATIONS.
>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.
>> SO I'M-- I'M-- THIS IS THE FOLLOW-UP.
THIS IS THE FOLLOW-UP.
>> Stephen: AND I KNOW YOU HAVE TO BE REFRIGERATED BETWEEN
APPEARANCES.
JUST TO KEEP YOU FRESH.
>> NOW -- >> Stephen: HOW HAVE YOU BEEN
SINCE JULY?
>> I WAS DOWN-- I WAS ON HOLIDAY FOR A WHILE, AND THEN I RETURNED
TO WORK, YOU KNOW.
WHEN I GOT COVID THE FIRST TIME BACK IN MARCH, WE WERE SIX DAYS
AWAY FROM BEGINNING TO MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT ELVIS PRESSLEY.
AUSTIN BUT LEER WAS PLAYING ELVIS PRESSLEY.
AND WE HAD TO FIGURE OUT ARE WE STILL DOING THIS?
AND THEY ARE.
SO I WENT BACK DOWN AND DID MY PART, AND THEY'LL STILL BE DOWN
SHOOTING.
THAT'S WHY I HAD TO SHAVE MY HEAD FOR A SERIES OF WIGS AND
BALD PATES AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: IS ELVIS BIG IN AUSTRALIA?
>> ELVIS PRESSLEY IS BIG AROUND THE WORLD, MY FRIEND.
>> Stephen: I AM FAMILIAR.
I AM FAMILIAR WITH HIS WORK, OKAY.
I DO SHOOT IN THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER.
SO DON'T LECTURE ME ON ELVIS PRESSLEY, BUDDY!
>> YOU CAN ACTUALLY TAKE PEOPLE THAT HAVE NEVER SPOKEN THE
ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND NEVER SEEN MODERN TECHNOLOGY, AND YOU JUST
SHOW A GUY WITH SIDEBURNS AND THOSE HIGH COLLARS FROM THE
VEGAS ERA, AND THEY SAY, "LOVE ME TENDER."
>> Stephen: "ALL SHOOK UP."
EXACTLY.
YOU GO TO THE ISLANDS IN THE INDIAN OCEAN--
>> "HOUND DOG.
HOUND DOG."
"SUSPICIOUS MINDS."
>> Stephen: I WAS CURIOUS IF EVEN TO THIS DAY ELVIS IS STILL
A PHENOM DOWN IN AUSTRALIA.
>> ELVIS IS BIGGER THAN-- LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY-- ELVIS IS AS
BUG AS HE EVER HAS BEEN, AND MUCH OF THAT CREDIT GOES TO THE
GUY I PLAYED IN THIS MOVIE, WHICH IS COLONEL TOM PARKER.
>> Stephen: PEOPLE DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE COLONEL.
GIVE US A LITTLE C.V. HERE.
>> COLONEL PARKER WAS A CARNIVAL OPERATOR GUY WHO WAS IN THE
BUSINESS OF PROMOTING THE LIKES OF EDWARD ARNOLD, HANK SNOW,
JIMMY ROGERS SNOW.
AND HE TOOK ONE LOOK AT THIS YOUNG KID FROM MEMPHIS, TIP LOW,
BY WAY OF MEMPHIS, SAW HIS EFFECT AS HE WAS SINGING ON THE
AUDIENCE-- MOSTLY OF WOMEN, GIRLS AND WOMEN-- AND REALIZED
HE HAD PERHAPS-- THIS WAS PERHAPS THE GREATEST CARNIVAL
ATTRACTION ON THE PLANET EARTH.
AND HE HAD NO OTHER CLIENTS.
AND ELVIS NEVER HAD ANY OTHER PROMOTER OR MANAGER.
I WILL SAY "PROMOTER" MORE THAN MANAGER.
AND HE-- HE WAS BOTH A GENIUS AND A SCOUNDREL.
HE WAS BOTH A VERY DISCIPLINED MAN AND ALSO A GUY THAT YOU
MIGHT WANT TO CHECK YOUR WALLET TO SEE IF YOU STILL HAVE ALL
THOSE 5s AND 10s.
"SON OF A GUN, I'VE ONLY GOT SINGLES LEFT IN HERE."
YOU MIGHT WANT TO DO THAT.
BUT I HAD A-- I HAD A DINNER-- AND GOD BLESS HER-- RITA-- MY
WIFE-- RAN INTO PRESILLA PRESSLEY THAT WE KNOW FROM A
FUNCTION IN LOS ANGELES.
AND SHE CAME TAKEOVER DINNER.
AND I WAS EXPECTING TO HEAR STORIES ABOUT THE DISTRUST SHE
HAD FOR COLONEL TOM PARKER OVER THESE MANY YEARS.
AND SHE SAID, NO, HE WAS A WONDERFUL MAN.
AND I WISH HE WAS ALIVE TODAY.
HE TOOK REALLY GREAT CARE OF US.
HE WAS A SCOUNDREL IN HIS WAY.
SO NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT COLONEL TOM PARKER.
I'M GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE RIGHT NOW.
HE DOESN'T LOOK A THING LIKE ME.
I WAS-- I AM-- I AM BURIED UNDER-- LET'S JUST SAY THAT THE
PEOPLE THAT PLAYED GORILLAS IN "PLANET OF THE APES" SPENT LESS
TIME IN THE MAKEUP CHAIR THAN I DID ON THIS MOVIE.
>> Stephen: YOU AND RODDY McDOWELL.
>> IT WAS-- YOU KNOW, WITH THE COCONUTS, YOU KNOW, THE KIND OF
COCONUT MOUTH THING.
IT WAS ALMOST LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: HOW LONG WERE YOU DOWN IN AUSTRALIA?
>> I WAS THERE FOR THE BETTER PART OF 14 WEEKS.
>> Stephen: AND I UNDERSTAND YOU CAME UP WITH A LITTLE
TRICK-- BECAUSE I'VE SPENT SOME TIME-- NOT IN AUSTRALIA, BUT
I'VE SPENT SOME TIME IN NEW ZEALAND, AND IT'S HARD TO DO THE
MATH IN YOUR HEAD WHAT TIME IS IT HERE AND WHEN SHOULD YOU
CALL, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE STILL DOING A JOB IN THE STATES AND
HAVE TO DO MEETINGS.
I UNDERSTAND YOU CAME UP WITH A LITTLE TRICK TO KEEP IT
STRAIGHT.
>> TRYING TO KNOW WHEN TO CALL THE WIFE AND KID WAS VERY TOUGH
SO YOU HAD TO SING A SONG.
AND IT ALTERED WHEN DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME KICKED IN.
BEFORE DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME IT WAS
♪ TAKE AWAY 5 AND FLIP TAKE AWAY 5 AND FLIP ♪
BUT ANYWAY, WHEN DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME CAME IT GOT A LITTLE
EASIER.
IT WAS ♪ TAKE AWAY 6 FOR KICKS
AND FLIP IT ♪ TAKE AWAY 6 FOR KICKS.
AND FLIP IT ♪ THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW WHAT TIME
IT IS IN L.A ♪ YOU TAKE AWAY 6 FOR KICKS AND
FLIP IT ♪ IF YOU WERE CALLING AT 10 A.M.
-- >> Stephen: 4.
>> YOU TAKE AWAY SIX, WHICH WAS 4, BUT P.M. OF THE DAY BEFORE.
SEE HOW SIMPLE IT WAS?
I WAS CALLING FROM THE FUTURE.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> AND TELLING THEM WHAT IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> 10 A.M. WAS 4:00 P.M. THE DAY BEFORE.
>> Stephen: YOU HAD THIS-- YOU COPYWROTE ALL OF THIS, I ASSUME.
>> ACTUALLY, I HAVE AUSTRALIAIAN KIDS THAT ARE SINGING IT IN
SCHOOL RIGHT NOW, RIGHT AFTER THEIR PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO
THE LAND OF THE SOUTHERN CROSS.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, TOM.
STICK AROUND.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MUCH MORE TOM HANKS.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HAY, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE BACK WITH TOM HANKS.
NOW, YOU'RE GIVING US A NEW MOVIE FOR CHRISTMAS, "NEWS OF
THE WORLD."
AND IT'S SET FIVE YEARS AFTER THE CIVIL WAR, AND YOU PLAY
SOMEONE NAMED CAPTAIN KIDD.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL MOVIE.
IT'S SO RESONANT IN SOME WAYS OF OUR COUNTRY RIGHT NOW.
TELL THE PEOPLE WHAT CAPTAIN KIDD DID.
WHAT'S HIS JOB?
>> CAPTAIN KIDD WAS THE ORIGINAL PODCASTER.
HE-- HE READS THE NEWS IN TOWNS THAT DO NOT HAVE NEWSPAPERS, NO
CONNECTION WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD.
SO IN A PLACE LIKE DALLAS OR SAN ANTONIO OR NEW ORLEANS, HE BUYS
ALL THE NEWSPAPERS THAT CAN COME FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD--
"THE LONDON TIMES" THE "BOSTON HERALD," AS WELL AS LOCAL PAPERS
AND HE TELLS PEOPLE WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE WORLD, RIGHT DOWN TO
HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE DEAD OF RUBELLA OR SCARLET FEVER.
WHETHER THE RIVER IS RISING.
WHETHER THE FERRIES ARE OUT.
BUT, ALSO, HE TALKS ABOUT A NEW BASEBALL ORGANIZATION THAT IS
NOW PAYING ITS PLAYERS IN THE-- IN THE GRAND METROPOLIS OF
CINCINNATI.
A TEAM CALLED THE RED STOCKINGS ARE GOING TO BE PROFESSIONAL
PLAYERS OF THE GAME OF BASEBALL.
AND THERE'S NOW AN EIGHT-STORY BRICK BUILDING IN BOSTON THAT
HAS A THING IN IT CALLED AN ELEVATOR, WHICH IS AN AUTOMATED
LITTLE PORTICO THAT TAKES YOU UP INSTEAD OF MAKING YOU WALK THE
STAIRS.
IT IS-- IT'S-- THERE ACTUALLY WERE THESE GUYS THAT DID THIS,
AND FOR 10 CENTS, YOU COULD SIT AND LISTEN TO FABULOUS TELLS
FROM AROUND THE WORLD.
AND EXPERIENCE A SHOW AT THE SAME TIME.
THAT'S WHAT HE DOES.
THAT'S WHAT HE DOES FOR A LIVING.
AND THE ADVENTURE OF THE MOVIE, HE COMES ACROSS A YOUNG GIRL WHO
HAS BEEN TAKEN AWAY BY THE KIOWA TRIBE OF INDIANS AND RAISED AND
HE HAS FOUND HER AND HE NEEDS TO TAKE HER HOME TO WHATEVER FAMILY
SHE HAS.
>> Stephen: ACROSS SOME PRETTY ROUGH PARTS OF TEXAS AND THE
THING ABOUT THIS IS THAT I HAVE NEVER SEEN TOM HANKS ON
HORSEBACK BEFORE.
WE HAVE NEVER SEEN A TOM HANKS WESTERN BEFORE.
WHY DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO GET YOU WITH A PISTOL?
>> BECAUSE THEY DON'T MAKE WESTERNS, SIMPLE AS-- SIMPLE AS
THAT.
>> Stephen: THERE WAS A TIME WHEN EVERY ACTOR HAD TO DO A
WESTERN.
EVERYONE DID WESTERNS.
>> YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN SO MANY WESTERNS WERE MADE
THAT ACTORS ALWAYS RODE THE SAME HORSE IN EVERY WESTERN THEY
MADE.
YOU WANT TO HEAR A SHOW BIZ STORY, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: I ALWAYS DO, I ALWAYS DO.
>> ALL RIGHT, I'M JUST GOING TO THROW OUT A NAME.
I'M GOING TO DROP A NAME NOW.
YOU TELL ME IF YOU RECOGNIZE IT OR NOT.
JIMMY STEWART.
YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE NAME?
>> Stephen: I'VE SEEN SOME OF THE WORK.
>> THROUGH A FATE THAT IS GRANDER THAN ANYTHING I EVER
COULD HAVE IMAGINED IN MY LIFE, I'M IN JIMMY STEWART'S HOUSE
GETTING MY PICTURE TAKEN WITH HIM FOR ONE OF THE MANY
INCARNATIONS OF "LIFE" MAGAZINE.
YEAH, I JUST DROPPED THAT.
THERE YOU GO.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> SO HE'S SHOWING ME-- HE'S SHOWING ME AROUND HIS-- HIS
LIVING ROOM, HIS PARLOR.
AND THERE IS NO SIGN OF JIMMY STEWART THE MOVIE STAR ANYWHERE
IN THIS THING.
ACTUALLY, THERE IS-- THERE'S SOME PHOTOGRAPHS OF A MAN, A
WOMAN, AND A DAUGHTER IN VARIOUS PLACES AROUND THE WORLD IN
PICTURE FRAMES, AND IT'S-- IT'S AN ELDERLY, BALDING MAN, AND--
AND A WOMAN AND-- SORRY ABOUT THAT.
ANSWER THAT!
( PHONE RINGING ).
>> Stephen: DO YOU NEED TO TAKE THAT?
WE'LL WAIT.
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, IT'S THE...
HOLD ON.
>> Stephen: HELLO, HELLO?
>> HI.
>> Stephen: YUP.
>> OKAY, FINE, THANKS.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME.
( LAUGHING ) GOT IT.
>> WHERE WAS I?
THERE ARE NO SIGNS OF JIMMY STEWART.
EXCEPT HIM WITHOUT HIS PIECE.
>> Stephen: NO, I DID NOT KNOW HE HAD A PIECE.
THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW.
>> JOHN WAYNE DID.
SO HE'S SHOWING ME THROUGH-- AND THERE IS NO SIGN-- THERE'S MAYBE
A LITTLE FIGURINE OF HARVEY THE RABBIT, BUT OTHER THAN THAT,
THERE'S NOTHING FROM A CAREER.
THERE'S NOTHING FROM A MOVIE.
THERE'S NOTHING FROM-- NOTHING FROM "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE" OR
WHATEVER.
BUT THERE'S A PICTURE-- THERE'S A PAINTING OF A HORSE.
IT'S NOT BIG.
AND IT'S ABOUT THAT BIG.
AND I SAY, "OH, HERE'S A PAINTING OF A HORSE."
AND JIMMY-- I CAN'T DO A GOOD JIMMY STEWART, BUT HE SAID,
"YEAH, YEAH, HENRY-- HANK FONDA PAINTED THAT FOR ME.
HE PAINT, YOU KNOW.
HANK LIKES TO PAINT AND FANCIES HIMSELF AS A PAINTER.
AND WE MADE A COUPLE OF PICTURES TOGETHER.
WE MADE A WESTERN."
AND I SAID, "THE CHEYENNE SOCIAL CLUB?"
AND HE SAID, "YES, IT WAS THE CHEYENNE SOCIAL CLUB."
AND THAT'S THE PICTURE OF MY HORSE.
AND I RODE THAT HORSE IN ALL MY WESTERNS."
I SAID, "REALLY, YOU RODE THE SAME."
AND HE SAID, "YES, WE KEPT IT BY GRIFFITH PARK.
AND I RODE HIM IN ALL MY WESTERNS.
AND HENGRY WANTED TO GIVE ME SOMETHING.
HE JUST STARTED PAINTING.
AND HE SAID, "JIMMY, I PAINTED A PICTURE OF YOUR HORSE FOR YOU.
I SAID, THANK YOU, THAT'S LOVELY OF YOU.
WE WERE ROOMMATES IN NEW YORK, BACK IN THE DAY.
HERE WE WERE.
GAVE ME A WATERCOLOR.
AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW, A WEEK AFTER HE GAVE ME THE PICTURE,
THE HORSE DIED."
NOW, I'M SLAPPING MYSELF ON THE SIDE OF THE HEAD FOR GETTING
THIS STORY FROM-- FROM THE GUY.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> AND OF COURSE I THOUGHT OF-- MY HORSE IN THIS MOVIE WAS NAMED
WIMPY.
HE WAS A VERY GOOD HORSE.
BUT HAVE-- DO YOU RIDE, STEPHEN?
>> Stephen: WHEN I WAS A KID.
I CAN-- I CAN GET-- I CAN PASS, BUT IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE
I'VE RIDDEN, YEAH.
>> RIGHT, OKAY.
I THOUGHT I COULD PASS AS WELL.
I COULD CLIMB UP ON A HORSE.
THE THING YOU MIGHT NEED TO KNOW IS IF THEY WANT TO, HORSES CAN
KILL YOU.
YOU KNOW -- >> Stephen: I AM AWARE.
I HAVE BEEN DRAGGED BY A HORSE.
SO I UNDERSTAND.
>> THEY CAN KNOCK YOU OFF.
THEY CAN DO ANY NUMBER OF THINGS.
SO WIMPY-- I WAS TOLD WIMPY WAS A LOVER.
HE LIKED INFECTION.
SO I'D THROW MY ARMS AROUND HIM EVERY MORNING AND SAY, "WHO'S A
BIG WIMPY?
WHO IS A GOOD HORSE?" I WOULD KISS HIM.
AND THEY HAVE THE EYES ON THE SIDE OF THEIR HEAD, AND THEY
WOULD JUST KIND OF LOOK AT YOU LIKE THIS...
YOU KNOW, THOSE BIG, DEEP BROWN EYES.
AND I GOT THE DISTINCT FEELING THAT WIMPY WAS DECIDE WHROOG TO
PUT UP WITH ME TODAY.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> YOU KNOW.
AND BY AND LARGE HE DID.
BY AND LARGE.
AND I ACTED LIKE I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING.
I LEARNED HOW TO RIDE, WHICH IS GREAT.
WIMPY WAS A REAL HORSE.
BUT IT ADDS-- IT AS A WHOLE DIFFERENT-- DIFFERENT THING TO
THE DAY, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE WIMPY'S GOT TO BE INTO IT A
LITTLE BIT.
>> Stephen: AND YOU'VE GOT TO MATCH THE RHYTHM OF THAT HORSE.
WHATEVER THE HORSE'S RHYTHM IS THAT DAY, THAT'S YOUR RHYTHM.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
AND WIMPY-- HE DOESN'T LIKE WALKING IN FAKE RAIN.
HE DOESN'T LIKE WALKING IN FAKE MUD.
BUT HE DOES, YOU KNOW.
BUT YOU JUST GOTTA COAX HIM ALONG A LITTLE BIT.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU GUYS STAYED IN TOUCH?
>> WIMPY AND I FACETIMED JUST EARLIER TODAY.
>> Stephen: GOOD, GOOD.
>> HE'S GOT THAT-- HE GOT THAT BIG HOOK --
>> Stephen: YOU'RE ON ZOOM.
YOU'RE ON MUTE!
WIMPY, YOU'RE ON MUTE.
>> HE DOES THAT ALL THE TIME.
"WIMPY, WIMPY, WIMPY."
I POINT ON THE MICROPHONE.
>> Stephen: TOM, I AM TOLD WE HAVE A CLIP HERE.
>> THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS CLIP.
THIS IS A MOMENT WHERE SOME EXTREMELY BAD GUYS ARE
THREATENING MYSELF AND MY CHARGE, WHO IS PLAYED BY HELENA
ZENGEL, A FABULOUS YOUNG WOMAN WHO IS AN EXTRAORDINARY ACTRESS
AT THE SAME TIME.
AND THIS IS US DEALING WITH A PROBLEM.
>> Stephen: JIM.
>> YOU'RE GOOD FOR A MAN OF YEARS!
MAKES YOU SO DAMN TIRED!
FOR IT TO END LIKE THIS WHEN YOU CAN JUST JOIN US!
RICH PICKINGS FOR SOME.
SLIM PICKINGS FOR THE REST OF US.
>> YOU GO.
TAKE THE HORSES AND GO!
I SHOOT, YOU GO.
>> THERE YOU GO.
YOU KNOW IT'S A WESTERN WHEN ONE OF THE LINES OF DIALOGUE IS,
"YOU TAKE THE HORSES AND GO."
THAT'S-- THAT'S-- YOU'RE MAKING-- YOU'RE MAKING A
WESTERN.
UN, I WILL TELL YOU THIS.
I'VE NEVER MET AN OLDER ACTOR WHO MADE-- WHO HAD BEEN IN THE
BUSINESS FOR A WHILE THAT WOULD NOT WALK THROUGH HELL-- WALK
THROUGH HELL IN A GASOLINE SUIT TO MAKE A WESTERN.
YOU ARE OUTSIDE ALL DAY LONG.
YOU'RE IN THE ELEMENTS.
THE WARDROBE IS FANTASTIC.
THE PEOPLE ARE GREAT.
AND YOU-- I MEAN, WE SHOT THAT UP ON THE EDGE OF A CLIFF THAT
WAS VERY DIFFICULT TO GET UP TO.
AND THEN WE DID WHAT WAS REQUIRED, AND TALKED ABOUT
HORSES.
>> Stephen: TOM, WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK FOR THIS WORD FROM
OUR SPONSORS, BUT STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE TOM HANKS.
WE'RE BACK WITH TOM HANKS.
DISNEY IS REBOOTING "TOURNEY AND HOOCH."
>> AND THEY DIDN'T CALL ME!
>> Stephen: YOU COULD PLAY HOOCH.
YOU COULD STILL PLAY HOOCH AT THIS POINT.
>> LISTEN, THERE IS NO "TURNER AND HOOCH" WITHOUT A HOOCH.
I DON'T KNOW WHO DID IT.
ACTUALLY, THEY HAD-- THEY HAD SENT TO ME PHOTOS FOR APPROVAL.
THEY SAID, "HEY, WE NEED THESE APPROVALS OF YOU BECAUSE YOU
PLAYED TURNER."
WHAT THEY WERE-- THEY LOOKED LIKE MAGAZINE PICTURES THAT HAD
JUST HAD MY HEAD CUT OUT AND PUT ON THEM.
AND I SAID, "I'M NOT GOING TO OKAY THIS.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS."
THEN THEY HAD TO EXPLAIN TO ME, "THIS IS JUST TO PUT IN PICTURE
FRAMES IN THE BACKGROUND OF THE SET."
>> Stephen: WHAT A SECOND!
SO IT'S A CONTINUATION?
SO LITERALLY-- IS YOUR CHARACTER DEAD OR SOMETHING?
WHY ARE YOU-- IT'S NOT A REBOOT, IT'S A CONTINUATION?
>> I'M GOING TO ASSUME THAT MY CHARACTER, WHOEVER TURNER IS,
HAS A HELMET THAT HE NEVER REMOVED.
SO THEY DON'T KNOW IF IT'S ME OR-- OR NOT.
>> Stephen: I KNOW YOU LOVE TYPE WRITERS-- THIS IS THE LAST
QUESTION AND I WANT TO ASK YOU THIS ONE.
I HAVE LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET A COUPLE OF LETTERS FROM YOU OVER
THE YEARS.
IT'S ALWAYS ON VERY NICE STOCK, OFTEN, LIKE, BROWN PAPER, ALMOST
LIKE THE PAPER BAG FROM A GROCERY STORE BROWN PAPER, VERY
WARM, VERY NICE, ALMOST WANTED TO PAINT WATERCOLOR ON IT.
>> YOU COULD.
>> Stephen: DO YOU ALWAYS DO THE TYPING, OR DOES SOMEONE ELSE
TYPE ON YOUR TYPEWRITERS?
>> I DO THE TYPING, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: AND YOU TRAVEL WITH THEM.
THE NEXT QUESTION IS, "DO YOU TRAVEL WITH THEM?"
>> BUDDY, I TRAVEL WITH TWO.
I USE THEM LIKE CUFF LINKS.
NOW, CHECK THIS OUT.
CHECK THIS OUT.
MY SON-- MY SON BOUGHT THIS FOR ME.
HE SAW IT FOR SALE IN A STORE.
>> Stephen: $125.
>> THIS IS WHAT IT SAID.
HOLD ON.
IT SAID-- OH, DANG IT.
"$125, NOT A TOY."
THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: "PLEASE ASK FOR HELP."
>> YOU SEE THAT, 125 BUCKS, BUDDY.
AFTER I OWN THIS FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS AND PUT MY SIGNATURE ON
IT, YOU CAN CHANGE THAT $125 TO $128.
IT'S GOING TO BE WORTH $128.
>> Stephen: I'LL GIVE YOU $129.
IT'S MY BEST AND FINAL.
>> OH, MAN!
THAT'S HUGE!
FOUR BUCKS IN MY POCKET.
IT'S $120, STEPHEN, SEND CASH.
>> Stephen: "NEWS OF THE WORLD" IS IN THEATERS ON CHRISTMAS AND
ON VIDEO ON DEMAND JANUARY 15.
>> OH, THAT'S THE DATE?
>> Stephen: THAT'S THE DATE.
HEY, THAT'S THE "NEWS OF THE WORLD," TOM HANKS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY LESLIE ODOM JR.
>> OH, EXCELLENT!
>> Stephen: ISN'T THAT NICE?
GOOD SHOW.
HANKS AND LESLIE ODOM JR. ♪ ♪ ♪
"O HOLY NIGHT," FROM "THE CHRISTMAS ALBUM,"
LESLIE ODOM JR.!
♪ O HOLY NIGHT THE STARS ARE BRIGHTLY SHINING
♪ IT IS THE NIGHT OF OUR DEAR SAVIOUR'S BIRTH
♪ LONG LAY THE WORLD IN SIN AND ERROR PINING
♪ 'TIL HE APPEARED AND THE SOUL FELT ITS WORTH
♪ A THRILL OF HOPE THE WEARY WORLD REJOICES
♪ FOR YONDER BREAKS A NEW AND GLORIOUS MORN
♪ FALL ON YOUR KNEES HEAR THE ANGEL VOICES
♪ O NIGHT DIVINE O NIGHT WHEN CHRIST WAS BORN
♪ O NIGHT, DIVINE O NIGHT, O NIGHT DIVINE
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ O NIGHT DIVINE O NIGHT WHEN CHRIST WAS BORN
♪ O NIGHT O NIGHT, YEAH, DIVINE
♪ O NIGHT, O NIGHT DIVINE ♪ O NIGHT DIVINE ♪
>> Stephen: LESLIE ODOM JR., EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE PRESIDENT-ELECT
JOSEPH R. BIDEN AND DR. JILL BIDEN.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.
Captioning sponsored by CBS Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪