>> AND YOU HAVE REPUBLICANS NOW, LIKE YOUR SENATOR MARCO RUBIO,
WHO IS STANDING UP AND SAYING, YOU KNOW, GOSH, IMPEACHMENT JUST
GETS IN THE WAY OF UNITY.
>> NOW THE DEMOCRATS ARE GOING TO TRY TO REMOVE THE PRESIDENT
FROM OFFICE JUST SEVEN DAYS BEFORE HE'S SET TO LEAVE ANYWAY?
I DO NOT SEE HOW THAT UNIFIES THE COUNTRY.
>> I THINK WE NEED TO COME TOGETHER.
>> MEANWHILE...
LET THE HALL OF JUSTICE -- >> HOLY ICE CUBES!
CAPTAIN COLD AND LEX LUTHER ARE FREEZING WASHINGTON, D.C.!
>> SOON THE CAPITOL WILL BE MINE!
>> YOUR PLAN FAILED, LUTHER.
CAPTAIN COLD WAS APPREHENDED.
>> AND RIGHTLY SO.
CAPTAIN COLD SHOULD BE PROSECUTED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT
OF THE LAW!
>> BUT HE WAS UNDER YOUR ORDERS.
NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO POINT FINGERS.
NOW IS THE TIME FOR UNITY!
>> YOU WILL PAY, LUTHER.
BUT I'VE ALREADY LEARNED MY LESSON!
>> I BELIEVE THAT -- -- LEX LUTHER.
HAS LEARNED -- WHOOPS, THAT WAS FROM THE
FIRST TIME I ATTACKED THE CAPITOL.
HERE WE GO.
>> LEX LUTHER -- -- TOUCHED THE HOT STOVE ON
WEDNESDAY AND IS UNLIKELY TO TOUCH IT AGAIN --
>> YES, IT'S VERY UNLIKELY.
NOW, GIVE ME BACK MY TWITTER FEED, OR I WILL DESTROY
WASHINGTON WITH MY MUTANT TERMITE ARMY!
>> ANNOUNCER: IT'S "A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT: IN SCIENCE EDITION.
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES CHRIS ROCK AND MUSICAL GUEST
JOSS STONE.
A SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY AUBREY PLAZA.
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HOMIN'.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY?
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.
YOU KNOW, WHEN I SAW THE EVENTS AT THE CAPITOL LAST WEDNESDAY, I
WAS MORE UPSET THAN I CAN EVER REMEMBER.
I THINK I SAID SO ON AIR, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE SAID TO ME
SENSE, WHAT ABOUT 9/11, STEPHEN?
WELL, YEAH, THAT IS THE MOST HORRIBLE DAY IN AMERICA'S
HISTORY, BUT I WANT TO POINT OUT NO AMERICANS WERE CHEERING TORE
THE TERRORISTS BACK THEN, NO ONE WAS MAKING EXCUSES FOR THE
TERRORISTS, NO ONE WAS PRETENDING THEY WEREN'T
TERRITORIES.
AND NOW THAT WE'VE HAD TIME TO LEARN MORE AND SEE MORE OF WHAT
HAPPENED ON THAT TERRIBLE DAY LAST WEEK, ALL I CAN THINK IS,
OH, STEPHEN FROM LAST WEEK, YOU SWEET, NAIVE CHILD, HOW COULD
YOU HAVE BEEN SO CALM?
BECAUSE THIS ATTACK WAS FAR WORSE THAN IT FIRST LOOKED.
THE TERRORISTS WHO STORMED THE CAPITOL WEREN'T JUST A BUNCH
OFIA HOOSE FED A STEADY DIET OF LIES, FAKE JUICE AND MONSTER
ENERGY DRINK, THIS WAS A COORDINATED AND PLANNED ATTEMPT
TO TERRORIZE IF NOT KILL OUR NATION'S ELECTED LEADERS.
AND THE PROMPTER JUST SAID, INSERT JOKE HERE.
CAN WE GET A JOKE IN HERE LATER?
JUST PUT IT IN POST.
THANKS.
BECAUSE WE'RE LEARNING THOSE RIOTERS BROUGHT MORE THAN JUST
STUPID HATS AND PATCHY BEARDS.
THE CHIEF OF THE CAPITOL POLICE, WHO HAS SINCE RESIGNED, WAS
SHOCKED BY WHAT HE SAW, TELLING THE "WASHINGTON POST:"
"THEY CAME WITH RIOT HELMETS, GAS MASKS, SHIELDS, PEPPER
SPRAY, FIREWORKS, CLIMBING GEAR.
CLIMBING GEAR!
EXPLOSIVES, METAL PIPES, BASEBALL BATS."
HOLY DICK'S SPORTING GOODS.
MEANWHILE, AT THE GEORGE FLOYD PROTESTS, THEY WOULDN'T LET
YOU BRING A HOAGIE BECAUSE IT MIGHT'VE MADE THE POLICE HANGRY.
BUT WAIT, THERE'S WORSE!
HERE'S A FOR-SOME-REASON UNDER-REPORTED DETAIL:
PIPE BOMBS WERE FOUND AT BOTH THE D.N.C. AND R.N.C. BUILDINGS,
WHICH THE FORMER CAPITOL POLICE CHIEF NOW SUSPECTS WERE AN
INTENTIONAL EFFORT TO DRAW OFFICERS AWAY FROM THE CAPITOL
PERIMETER.
THAT'S SOME PROFESSIONAL-LEVEL INSURGENCY TACTICS, COMMITTED BY
HOMEGROWN TERRORISTS ON A JUGHEAD JIHAD.
THEY'RE YEE-HAWDIS!
TO UNDERSTAND THE HORROR THAT WAS PERPETRATED IN OUR CAPITOL
BUILDING, JUST LOOK AT GRAPHIC MOMENTS LIKE THESE, WHERE
RIOTERS NEARLY CRUSHED AN OFFICER TO DEATH IN A DOORWAY,
AND GRABBED ANOTHER OFFICER, DRAGGED HIM DOWN THE STEPS, AND
PROCEEDED TO BEAT HIM WITH POLES BEARING THE AMERICAN FLAG, WHILE
CHANTING "USA!" SO IT'S HARD TO PIN DOWN WHAT
THESE IDIOTS BELIEVE IN.
BLACK LIVES MATTER?
OH, NO.
BLUE LIVES MATTER?
YES, BUT ONLY IF WE'RE NOT CURRENTLY TRYING TO MURDER THEM
WITH THE STARS AND STRIPES.
IT COULD'VE BEEN EVEN WORSE.
ANOTHER TERRORIST WAS ARRESTED AFTER AUTHORITIES SEARCHED HIS
CAR AND FOUND 11 MOLOTOV COCKTAILS.
IF YOU THINK IT'S WRONG TO CALL THESE PEOPLE TERRORISTS,
CONSIDER THIS-- YOU'RE WRONG.
ACCORDING TO G.O.P. CONGRESSMAN PETER MEYER, SOME REPUBLICANS
"KNEW IN THEIR HEART OF HEARTS THAT THEY SHOULD'VE VOTED TO
CERTIFY BIDEN'S WIN, BUT SOME HAD LEGITIMATE CONCERNS ABOUT
THE SAFETY OF THEIR FAMILIES."
THEY CAPITULATED TO ARMED, VIOLENT EXTREMISTS.
THAT'S THE G.O.P.'S NEW MOTTO: "WE DON'T NEGOTIATE WITH
TERRORISTS-- WE JUST GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT."
NO SURPRISE, THE PEOPLE WHO SURVIVED THIS VIOLENT ATTACK ARE
A LITTLE CRANKY.
THIS MORNING, HOUSE DEMOCRATS FORMALLY INTRODUCED AN ARTICLE
OF IMPEACHMENT AGAINST THE PRESIDENT.
SO IT'S TIME FOR OUR HOPED-I'D-NEVER-SEE-SEQUEL:
"DON AND THE GIANT IMPEACH 2: GO FAST, WE'RE FURIOUS."
>> YOU KNEW DAMN WELL I WAS A SNAKE BEFORE YOU TOOK ME IN!
( GROWLING ) >> STEPHEN: NOW, SOME PEOPLE ARE
SAYING, "WHY BOTHER?
HE'S ONLY GOT NINE DAYS LEFT IN OFFICE."
TO THEM I REPLY, "HE'S GOT NINE DAYS LEFT IN OFFICE!"
YOU CAN DO A LOT IN NINE DAYS.
IT'S ENOUGH TO CREATE THE UNIVERSE, AND THEN TAKE A
THREE-DAY WEEKEND.
FOR PETE'S SAKE, SIX DAYS AGO, THE PRESIDENT HADN'T INSPIRED
MURDER IN THE CAPITOL.
MIGHT'VE BEEN HANDY TO HAVE IMPEACHED HIM WAY BACK THEN!
BUT IMPEACHMENT DOES TAKE TIME.
TIME DEMOCRACY MAY NOT HAVE.
WHICH IS WHY HOUSE DEMOCRATS INTRODUCED A RESOLUTION TODAY
THAT CALLS ON MIKE PENCE TO REMOVE THE PRESIDENT UNDER THE
25TH AMENDMENT.
DEMOCRATS AND MIKE PENCE MIGHT MAKE STRANGE BEDFELLOWS, BUT AS
LONG AS MOTHER'S IN THE ROOM, IT'S TECHNICALLY ALLOWED.
IT'S KOSHER.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT KOSHER, BUT YOU GET THE IDEA.
SO FAR, PENCE APPEARS TO HAVE LITTLE APPETITE FOR GOING
FORWARD WITH THAT.
OKAY, HOW DO WE INCREASE HIS APPETITE?
HAVE THEY TRIED SLATHERING THE 25TH AMENDMENT WITH MAYO, AND
SLAPPING IT BETWEEN TWO SLICES OF WONDERBREAD?
YOU'D THINK PENCE WOULD BE MORE INTO THE IDEA, CONSIDERING WHAT
THE RIOTERS WERE CHANTING: >> HANG MIKE PENCE!
>> STEPHEN: WHAT PART OF "HANG MIKE PENCE" DOES MIKE
PENCE NOT UNDERSTAND?
IT'S HIS NAME AND ONE VERB!
EITHER MIKE PENCE IS UNBELIEVABLY FORGIVING OR HE
JUST GETS OFF ON EROTIC ASPHYXIATION.
EITHER WAY, HE'S LIVING UP TO THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF NATHAN
HALE: "I REGRET I HAVE BUT ONE LIFE TO
GIVE FOR THE PRESIDENT WHO WANTS HIS FOLLOWERS TO MURDER ME."
BY THE WAY, CROWD, IF YOU'RE GOING TO HANG MIKE PENCE, YOU'VE
GOT TO CATCH HIM FIRST!
BUT THE VEEP HASN'T ENTIRELY RULED OUT INVOKING THE 25TH.
REPORTEDLY, PENCE WANTS TO PRESERVE THE OPTION IN CASE THE
PRESIDENT BECOMES MORE UNSTABLE.
"MORE UNSTABLE?" REALLY?
"UH, MR. DAHMER, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH YOUR FREEZER, AND WE ARE
DISTURBED BY WHAT WE FOUND.
I'M LETTING YOU OFF WITH A WARNING THIS TIME, BUT IF WE SEE
ANY SIGNS THAT YOU'RE FEELING SNACKY, THERE WILL BE
SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES.
ANYWAY, SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR DINNER."
PENCE ISN'T THE ONLY REPUBLICAN LOOKING TO GIVE THE PRESIDENT A
PASS.
SO IS HOUSE MINORITY LEADER AND MAN POINTING TO WHERE HIS BALLS
USED TO BE, KEVIN MCCARTHY.
ON FRIDAY, MCCARTHY ARGUED, "IMPEACHING THE PRESIDENT WITH
JUST 12 DAYS LEFT IN HIS TERM WILL ONLY DIVIDE OUR COUNTRY
MORE."
WELL, MAYBE OUR COUNTRY NEEDS TO BE DIVIDED.
BY PRISON GLASS.
WE CAN STILL TALK, KEVIN, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO PICK UP
THE LITTLE PHONE.
WHAT KEV NEEDS TO REALIZE, IS THAT IF YOU FLIRT WITH FASCISM
LONG ENOUGH, BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU'RE MARRIED WITH TWO
KIDS, ADOLF AND BENITO.
AND HEY, ALL YOU HAND-WRINGING HYPOCRITES: EVERYONE WANTS THE
UNITED STATES UNITED.
IT'S KIND OF OUR THING.
YOU KNOW, ONE NATION, UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE.
BUT SPEAKING OF GOD, WHAT I LEARNED IN SUNDAY SCHOOL IS THAT
IN ORDER FOR THERE TO BE RECONCILIATION, THERE MUST FIRST
BE REPENTANCE.
IT'S WHY YOU DON'T BEGIN CONFESSION WITH, "BLESS ME,
FATHER, I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG, ANTIFA COVETED MY NEIGHBOR'S
WIFE."
WHO COULD BLAME HIM?
LOOK AT THE CAN ON HER.
ANOTHER REPUBLICAN DEEP IN DENIAL IS MISSOURI SENATOR AND
MAN WITH RESTING JOKER FACE ROY BLUNT.
YESTERDAY, BLUNT WAS ON THE NATION FACE, AND EXPLAINED WE
DON'T NEED TO IMPEACH THE PRESIDENT BECAUSE HE'S LEARNED
HIS LESSON.
>> NOW, MY PERSONAL VIEW IS THAT THE PRESIDENT TOUCHED THE HOT
STOVE ON WEDNESDAY AND IS UNLIKELY TO TOUCH IT AGAIN.
>> STEPHEN: UNLIKELY!
"I'M NOT GOING TO SAY THERE'S NO CHANCE THAT HE WILL USE A
PERSONAL ARMY OF PARAMILITARY TERRORISTS TO OVERTHROW
THE GOVERNMENT.
BUT YOU KNOW, 60-40.
LET'S ROLL THE DICE TOGETHER!
COME ON, DADDY NEEDS A PANIC ROOM UNDER THE ROTUNDA!"
SNAKE EYES!
AND BY THE WAY, HE'S "UNLIKELY TO TOUCH THE HOT STOVE AGAIN?"
THE PRESIDENT ISN'T EXACTLY FAMOUS FOR NOT TOUCHING THINGS
HE SHOULDN'T.
MAY I REMIND YOU, ROY BOY: THE POTUS DIDN'T JUST INCITE A
CROWD TO RIOT, THE PRESIDENT WAS DEEPLY INVOLVED IN THE PLANNING
OF THE RALLY, SENDING MULTIPLE TWEETS ENCOURAGING HIS FOLLOWERS
TO COME TO WASHINGTON ON JANUARY 6, AND PROMISING "BE THERE, WILL
BE WILD!" HE DIDN'T TOUCH THE STOVE.
HE RENTED AN APARTMENT, BOUGHT A STOVE, INSTALLED IT, STUFFED IN
SOME OILY RAGS, TURNED ON THE GAS, RIPPED OUT THE SMOKE ALARM,
INVITED ALL HIS FRIENDS OVER, AND THREW IN A LIT MATCH,
SAYING, "TRUE PATRIOTS, TOUCH THAT STOVE!
IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE HOME, WATCHING IT ALL ON TV WHILE I
PLEASURE MYSELF WITH A DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER."
HE HASN'T BEEN IMPEACHED YET, BUT THE PRESIDENT HAS SUFFERED
SOME CONSEQUENCES.
ON FRIDAY, CITING THE RISK OF HIM FOMENTING MORE VIOLENCE,
"TWITTER BANNED THE PRESIDENT PERMANENTLY."
OH, DAMN!
A LIFETIME TWITTER BAN HAS GOT TO STING.
THEY TOOK AWAY HIS PRECIOUS!
ACCORDING TO A SENIOR ADMINISTRATION OFFICIAL, WHEN HE
FOUND OUT, "THE PRESIDENT WENT BALLISTIC."
A TROUBLING DESCRIPTION OF THE GUY WHO STILL HAS THE NUCLEAR
CODES.
"HE BLEW UP!
HE WENT TO DEF-CON 4.
HIS ANGER DETONATED IN A FLASH OF WHITE LIGHT AND THEN
MUSHROOMED OUT, DESTROYING EVERYTHING IN ITS PATH.
I GUESS WHAT I'M SAYING IS THE FAT MAN ACTED LIKE A
LITTLE BOY."
THEN THE PRESIDENT WENT INTO FULL WEASEL MODE.
FIRST, HE "TRIED TO TWEET FROM THE OFFICIAL @POTUS ACCOUNT,"
BUT "TWITTER SWIFTLY DELETED THOSE TWEETS," SO HE SLITHERED
OVER TO "THE OFFICIAL TWITTER ACCOUNT FOR THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN
BUT HIS CAMPAIGN'S TWITTER ACCOUNT WAS THEN SUSPENDED."
NOW HE'S JUST GETTING KAYLEIGH MCENEANY TO WRITE HIS TWEETS ON
POSTER BOARD AND HOLD THEM OUT BY THE UNDERPASS.
BUT TWITTER ISN'T THE ONLY SOCIAL MEDIA SITE THAT WANTS
NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR PRESIDENT.
HE'S ALSO BEEN BANNED OR RESTRICTED FROM A BEVY OF OTHER
PLATFORMS, INCLUDING FACEBOOK SNAPCHAT, INSTAGRAM, REDDIT, AND
EVEN TWITCH.
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, PORNHUB?
THE PRESIDENT CAN'T EVEN TURN TO ALT-RIGHT CESSPOOLS, BECAUSE
"PARLER HAS BEEN SHUT DOWN AFTER AMAZON KICKED THE WEBSITE OFF
ITS SERVERS."
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT PARLER IS, FIRST OF ALL,
MUST BE NICE.
SECOND, IT'S TWITTER, BUT ALL TROLLS.
IT'S LIKE A THANKSGIVING DINNER WHERE THE WHOLE TABLE IS RACIST
UNCLES.
IN ADDITION TO ITS WEBSITE BEING TAKEN DOWN, PARLER ALSO SUFFERED
A BLOW THE PREVIOUS DAY WHEN APPLE AND GOOGLE REMOVED THE
PARLER APP FROM THEIR APP STORES, WHICH LED TO A CERTAIN
CHIP OFF THE OL' TURD TO COMPLAIN ABOUT A LEFT-WING
CONSPIRACY.
>> DOES ANYONE THINK IT'S A TOTAL COINCIDENCE THAT LITERALLY
THE DAY THAT TWITTER BANS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
PERMANENTLY FROM THEIR PLATFORM, THAT APPLE-- REALLY, IT'S NOT
JUST THE APP STORE, BUT THAT APPLE WANTS TO BAN PARLER?
>> STEPHEN: NO!
NO ONE THINKS THAT'S A COINCIDENCE!
AFTER A MURDEROUS ATTEMPTED COUP EGGED ON BY THE PRESIDENT AND
HIS FOLLOWERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA, SOCIAL MEDIA SHUT THEM DOWN.
IT'S NOT A COINCIDENCE.
IT'S A CONSEQUENCE.
I KNOW IT'S HARD FOR YOU TO RECOGNIZE BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER
FACED ONE BEFORE!
SO, AFTER BEING SHUT OUT OF EVERY SOCIAL MEDIA APP, THE
PRESIDENT HAS NOW SUGGESTED BUILDING HIS OWN PLATFORM.
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
THIS PRESIDENT HAS A REALLY HARD TIME WITH PLATFORMS.
BUT IT'S NOT JUST SOCIAL MEDIA THAT WANTS TO UNFRIEND THE
PRESIDENT.
IN THE WAKE OF WEDNESDAY'S PRESIDENTIALLY-SANCTIONED
TERRORIST ATTACK, THE ORGANIZERS OF THE P.G.A. CHAMPIONSHIP
CANCELED PLANS TO HOLD THE EVENT AT THE PRESIDENT'S BEDMINSTER,
NEW JERSEY GOLF CLUB IN 2022.
THAT'S GOT TO HURT.
THE PRESIDENT LOVES GOLF MORE THAN HE'S LOVED ANY OF HIS
WIVES.
IT'S WAY EASIER TO CHEAT ON, AND YOU RARELY END UP WITH AN
ACCIDENTAL ERIC.
A SPOKESPERSON SAID, "IT'S BECOME CLEAR THAT CONDUCTING THE
P.G.A. CHAMPIONSHIP AT THE PRESIDENT'S BEDMINSTER GOLF
COURSE WOULD BE DETRIMENTAL TO THE P.G.A. OF AMERICA BRAND."
SO, UP UNTIL NOW, THE P.G.A.
THOUGHT TRUMP WAS FINE FOR THEIR BRAND?
I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS THEIR 2016 PROMOTIONAL SLOGAN, "THE P.G.A.:
GRAB 'EM BY THE PUTTER!" WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
CHRIS ROCK IS HERE.
STICK AROUND.
♪♪♪
>> Stephen: HEAIVEDZ, LET'S
SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND JON BATISTE.
JON, YOU AND THE BAND SOUND GREAT IN THOSE BUMPERS.
I NEED THE ENERGY.
YOU GUYS ALWAYS BRING THE JOY.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
IT'S A VERY DARK TIME.
>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S NINE DAYS TILL INAUGURATION, BUT I KEEP
THINKING, WE HAVE YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS OF WORK TO DO,
SO I'M TRYING TO BUILD MYSELF UP TO DO THE WORK.
THAT'S HOW I'M DOING.
>> Stephen: WELL, IF YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT THE WORK IS,
PLEASE GIVE ME AN ASSIGNMENT.
IN THE MEANTIME, DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE OF THAT -- DO YOU HAVE ANY
MORE JOY IN YOUR FINGERTIPS YOU CAN SHARE WITH AMERICA?
>> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS, ALWAYS.
♪♪♪ >> Stephen: THANK YOU, JON.
JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN ACTOR, WRITER, DIRECTOR AND COMEDIAN.
PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," CHRIS ROCK!
HELLO, CHRIS ROCK.
>> WOW!
NO MUSIC, NOTHIN'!
>> Stephen: NOPE.
NOPE.
>> NOTHIN'!
>> Stephen: NO.
WELCOME TO THE DESERT.
>> WOW!
THOSE CHARLIE ROSE PILLS ARE KICKING IN, MAN!
( LAUGHTER ) WOW!
>> Stephen: MM-HMM.
IT'S LONELY OUT HERE.
>> WHOA HOA, HOA!
>> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WEIRDEST PART IS?
AFTER TEN MONTHS, IT STOPS FEELING WEIRD.
THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TROUBLE.
THIS FEELS NORMAL NOW.
>> YOU INTERVIEW GORBACHEV?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
>> Stephen: IF WE PLUNGED EVERYTHING IN DARKNESS, WE WOULD
DO THAT.
THIS IS WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW"'S TINY DESK CONCERT WITH
STEPHEN COLBERT AND CHRIS ROCK.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: CHRIS, I'M SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU ON.
I'VE NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO INTERVIEW YOU BEFORE.
THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
>> REALLY?
>> Stephen: NEVER.
WE'RE BOTH FROM SOUTH CAROLINA, IF THAT MEANS
ANYTHING.
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW IF THAT DOES.
LET'S INTO THAT FOR A SECOND.
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT MEANS ANYTHING.
PEOPLE SAY YOU MUST KNOW CHRIS ROCK, HE'S FROM SOUTH CAROLINA.
I SAID, HE LEFT WHEN HE WAS PRETTY YOUNG AND, B, THE PEOPLE
WHO SAY THAT HAVEN'T SPENT MUCH TIME IN SOUTH CAROLINA.
THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THERE ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT
SOUTH CAROLINAs.
>> VERY DIFFERENT.
>> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW THE STATE MOTTO.
>> WHAT IS THE STATE MOTTO, STEPHEN?
>> Stephen: IT IS DOOM SPIRO SPARROW, WHILE I BREATHE, I
HOPE.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT TOO BAD.
ONE OF THE THINGS I INTRODUCED YOU AS IS A WRITER, DIRECTOR,
PRODUCER AND COMEDIAN.
WHICH OF THOSE IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU?
YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE.
>> CAPRICORN.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
NO.
COMEDIAN.
COMEDIAN IS MY, YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I'M IN THE TOP 20, WHERE I
WOULD BE IN THE TOP 700 ACTORS.
SO I WOULD RATHER BE, YOU KNOW --
>> Stephen: AND THE COMEDY LEADS TO EVERYTHING ELSE.
THAT'S THE NUCLEAR REACTOR THAT DRIVES THE WHOLE MACHINE.
>> YES, HARD DOING COMEDY RIGHT NOW.
>> Stephen: IT IS.
THOUGH I SAW YOUR SPECIAL, AND TOTAL BLACKOUT, AND I WAS VERY
GRATEFUL FOR IT.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: IT'S FROM SOMEWHAT TO HAVE THE BEFORE TIMES.
IT'S NOT FROM THIS MOMENT RIGHT NOW.
>> NO.
>> Stephen: BUT I WAS GRATEFUL YOU WERE ABLE TO BE IN FRONT OF
AN AUDIENCE.
I LOVED HEARING THAT LAUGHTER.
>> GOD GOD, I CAN'T WAIT, MAN!
I CAN'T WAIT!
IT'S HARD DOING COMEDY.
GOVERNMENT MUMFORD & SONS TAKING OVER THE CAPITOL.
I'M, LIKE, IS THAT WINSTON?
THAT'S WINSTON!
WOW!
IT'S CRAZY, JUST THE WHOLE COUNTRY'S JUST LOSING IT!
DID YOU SEE PELOSI ON "60 MINUTES" LAST NIGHT WHEN
THEY ASKED HER ABOUT A.O.C.?
WHOA!
IT WAS LIKE ASKING NIKKI MY IMAGINE A CARDI B -- NICKY
MINAGE A CARDI B QUESTION.
EGOT PLENTY OF EMCEES!
FEELING REALLY OLD AND RICH RIGHT NOW.
AND THEN PICKING UP THAT GIRL, MIA PONSETTO.
>> Stephen: THE ONE THAT GAYLE INTERVIEWED ABOUT THE PHONE?
>> YEAH, GUESS WHAT?
I GOT YOUR PHONE, BITCH!
>> Stephen: IT WAS YOU?
IT WAS ME!
I TOOK IT AND I'M NEVER GIVING IT BACK!
>> Stephen: ONE TO HAVE THETOMICS YOU COVER IN YOUR IN
EFFECT SPECIAL IS THE WAY -- I MEAN, WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS
FOR YEARS, BE UH THE WAY BLACK PEOPLE ARE TREATED BY POLICE,
AND WHEN YOU LOOK AT -- COMPARE THE "BLACK LIVES MATTER"
PROTESTS AND HOW THEY WERE TREATED AND HOW THE TROOPS WERE
BROUGHT OUT TO PROTECT THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL FROM BLACK
PROTESTORS, AND THERE WERE TANKS IN THE STREETS OF VARIOUS TOWNS
INCLUDELE THE CAPITOL OF THE UNITED STATES, AND THEY WERE
SHOOTING TEAR GAS AND RUBBER BULLETS, AND THEN YOU SEE THERE
IS THIS LIGHTWEIGHT REACTION TO ARMED MILITIAS, WHAT DOES THAT
MAKE YOU THINK?
>> YEAH, WITH "BLACK LIVES MATTER," THEY HAD, LIKE, APACHE
HELICOPTERS, AND FOR THIS THERE WAS FOOD TRUCKS OUTSIDE!
IT WAS, LIKE, THEY WERE SELLING BURRITOS!
I WAS, LIKE, WHAT WAS GOING ON?
IF POPCORN WAS BLACK, THEY'D NOT SELL IT IN THE MOVIE THEATERS.
YOU COULD SAY THAT.
IF FRUIT WAS BLACK, YOU WOULD NOT PUT WHIPPED CREAM ON IT!
WHATEVER!
IF EMINEM WAS BLACK HE WOULD BE SACKING GROCERY.
>> Stephen: I'LL MOVE ON TO THE NEXT QUESTION.
I HAVE A SLIGHT BONE TO PICK WITH YOU.
>> WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO PICK WITH ME, STEPHEN?
>> Stephen: THIS RIGHT HERE.
THIS PHOTO FROM LAST FALL.
DO YOU SEE THAT?
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: WE ARE ESSENTIALLY THE SAME AGE.
A, I DON'T BELIEVE A MAN IN HIS 50s SHOULD HAVE ABS, AND, B, I
FIND IT OFFENSIVE FOR A COMEDIAN TO BE SEXY.
WHAT IS THE MEANING TO HAVE THIS, SIR?
ANSWER FOR YOURSELF.
>> EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID, I DON'T KNOW HOW IT GOT THERE.
I LEARNED HOW TO SWIM THIS SUMMER.
>> Stephen: OH.
O IT WAS KIND OF LIKE ONE OF THESE WEIRD THINGS.
IT WAS JUST A PRODUCT OF SWIMMING.
>> Stephen: I ACTUALLY -- I WAS ACTUALLY NOT SURPRISED BY
YOUR ABS, BECAUSE I'VE SEEN YOUR ABS.
I'VE SEEN YOUR ABS IN PERSON.
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE THAT IS?
>> WHERE?
>> Stephen: I WAS AT A VERY NICE RESORT A FEW YEARS AGO,
DOWN IN THE CARIBBEAN, AND IT WAS A BRAND-NEW RESORT, AND I
DIDN'T KNOW IF IT WAS ANY GOOD, AND I'M SITTING THERE ON THE
BEACH WITH MY FAMILY AND I LOOKED DOWN THE PEACH WITH AND I
THOUGHT, OH, THIS MUST BE A VERY GOOD RESORT BECAUSE THAT'S CHRIS
ROCK ABOUT TEN CHAIRS AWAY FROM ME WITH AN EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE,
EXTREMELY YOUNG WOMAN.
DID YOU SEE ME?
>> THOSE WERE THE DAYS...
>> Stephen: DID YOU SEE ME?
I DON'T -- DID WE SPEAK?
DID WE?
>> Stephen: NO, PEOPLE SAID YOU SHOULD SAY HI TO HIM, YOU'RE
BOTH FROM IS SOUTH CAROLINA.
I SAID, NO, IT DOESN'T MATTER!
THAT DOESN'T COUNT!
SO, NO, I DIDN'T GO OVER AND SAY HI.
I WAS URGED TO.
>> WE COULD HAVE HAD A PINA COLADA OR SOMETHING, THAT
WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE.
I WATCH YOU ALL THE TIME.
>> Stephen: I LOVE WHAT YOU SAY IN THE SPECIAL ABOUT LANDING
TO GO TO A RESORT.
>> YEAH, JUST THAT RIDE, THERE'S NOTHING SCARIER THAN THE RIDE
FROM THE AIRPORT TO THE RESORT.
YOU SEE THE WORST POVERTY IN THE WORLD, AND THEN, YOU KNOW, IT'S
LIKE DEAD BABIES AND STUFF AND THEN YOU GET A PINA COLADA AND
YOU'RE LIKE, MMM, JAMAICA'S NICE!
YOU FORGIVE EVERYTHING.
IT'S SO SAD, STEPHEN.
IT'S SO SAD.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE CHRIS ROCK!
♪♪♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH CHRIS ROCK.
THE ORIGINAL WAS THE TAMBORINE SPECIAL IN 2017 AND NOW IT'S A
REMIX.
WHAT'S A REMIX OF A COMEDY SPECIAL?
>> A REMIX OF A COMEDY SPECIAL, IN THIS CASE, THERE'S 33 NEW
MINUTES THAT WERE NOT IN THE ORIGINAL SPECIAL, AND SOMEBODY
ORDERS CHANGE, AND I USE DIFFERENT TAKES FROM DIFFERENT
SHOWS.
SO IT'S KIND OF DIFFERENT.
IT'S KIND OF -- YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS INITIALLY BROUGHT THE IDEA
TO NETFLIX, THEY WERE, LIKE, COME ON, DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT.
WHEN I SHOWED IT TO THEM, THEY WERE, LIKE, THIS IS A NEW
SPECIAL.
SO, YOU KNOW, I CAN'T DO COMEDY WITH NO AUDIENCE DURING THE
PANDEMIC, THAT'S PRETTY HARD.
>> Stephen: YEAH, IT'S KIND OF HARD.
WHO WOULD DO THAT?
THAT WOULD BE A DUMB THING TO TRY TO DO, GO DO COMEDY WITHOUT
AN AUDIENCE.
ONLY AN IDIOT WOULD ATTEMPT THAT.
WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU SEE THAT
AUDIENCE?
WHAT'S THE FIRST THING DO YOU WANT TO DO?
DO YOU WANT TO DO JOKES FOR THEM OR JUST GET NAKED AND JUMP ON
THEM. I JUST WANT TO RUB UP AGAINST PEOPLE.
I MISS HUMAN BEINGS.
>> I MISS THEM, TOO.
I'M TRYING TO GET ME A BUBBLE.
YOU'VE GOT TO GET A BUBBLE.
>> Stephen: LIKE A HAMSTER LOBLE GOING DOWN THE STREET.
>> THE PODS.
>> Stephen: LIKE YOU'RE SHARING YOUR VIRAL BIOME WITH.
ARE YOU ALL ALONE, CHRIS ROCK.
>> YEAH, MY KIDS LEFT, SO I'M KIND OF ALONE RIGHT NOW.
>> Stephen: WITHOUT THE AUDIENCE.
I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN VERY OPEN ABOUT GOING TO THERAPY AND HOW
IMPORTANT THAT IS TO YOU.
FOR ME THE AUDIENCE IS ACTUALLY THE WAY I DEAL WITH MY ANXIETY,
THAT CONNECTION, HEARING THE LAUGHTER OF THE AUDIENCE KIND OF
CALLS ME DOWN.
I GO, OKAY, THIS THING I THOUGHT MAKES SENSE TO YOU, AND, SO, I
FEEL LESS ALONE, AND NOT HAVING THEM, ALL THAT ANXIETY IS STILL
INTERNALIZED.
I'M HAVING TO IMAGINE IT BEING RELEASED TO AN AUDIENCE.
WHAT DOES IT DO TO YOUR MENTAL STATE TO NOT HAVE AN AUDIENCE,
CHRIS ROCK?
>> I USED TO ABUSE AN AUDIENCE IN THE SENSE I WOULD DO
SOMETHING IN MY NORMAL LIFE AND I WOULD GO, AH, MAN, YOU KNOW
WHAT, CHRIS?
YOU DON'T LISTEN TO PEOPLE, YOU TALK OVER PEOPLE, YOU'RE RUDE,
YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE, YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR WAYS.
AND THEN I WOULD GO UP IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE AND THEY'D GIVE
ME A STANDING OVATION AND I GO, I'M NOT CHANGING NOTHING!
I'M OBVIOUSLY RIGHT!
THESE PEOPLE ARE STANDING!
SO QUARANTINE HAS HUMBLED ME, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.
PIF A RUMOR I WANT -- I HAVE A RUMOR I WANT TO RUN BY YOU.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THERE'S A RUMOR, IS IT TRUE YOU WERE IN
CONTENTION TO PLAY GEORGE COSTANZA ON "SEINFELD"?
>> I JUST HEARD THAT ONE.
I MEAN, THERE WAS A NOT OF NBC TALK.
THERE WAS TALK ABOUT "SEINFELD," THERE WAS TALK ABOUT ME BEING
ONE OF THE "FRIENDS" AT THAT POINT.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
YES, YES, I WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BLACK FRIEND.
THAT'S BASICALLY WHO I AM TO AMERICA ANYWAY AT THIS POINT.
BUT LET'S JUST SAY THE GOOD PEOPLE AT "SEINFELD," THEY MADE
THE RIGHT CHOICE.
HE'S GOOD.
HE'S AMAZING.
>> Stephen: WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER, WERE THERE ANY PILOTS
OR THINGS THAT YOU WERE A PART OF THAT DIDN'T GO?
LIKE, THIS IS MY BREAK, THE THING I'M GOING TO DO.
FOR ME IT'S THE DANA CARVEY SHOW IN A WAY AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD
PUT ME ON THE MAP AND JUST DISSOLVED IN SEVEN SHOWS.
WAS THERE A THING YOU THOUGHT I'M GOING TO RIDE THIS OUT, THIS
IS MY PAYCHECK, THIS IS MY PAYDAY?
>> YEAH, I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE COCKROACH ON THE COSBY SHOW,
THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, WHERE I WAS THEO'S BEST FRIEND.
THANK GOD THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
THINK ABOUT THE WORLD RIGHT NOW, BILL COSBY IS IN JAIL AND SNOOP
DOGG IS THE NUMBER ONE PITCH MAN IN AMERICA.
>> Stephen: HE HASN'T DONE THE PUDDING YET, I'M WAITING FOR THE
PUDDING POPS.
>> OH,IAN, I WOULD BUY ANYTHING SNOOP DOGG SELLS.
I JUST BOUGHT A SNOOP DOGG QUILT!
I GOT SOME GANGSTA SLEEP!
IF YOU AIN'T GOT A SNOOP DOGG QUILT, YOU ARE SLEEPING LIKE A
BITCH!
>> Stephen: I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT.
>> GET ONE OF THEM SNOOP DOGG QUILTS, I'M TELLING YOU.
>> Stephen: I HOPE I CAN SEE YOU IN PERSON.
I HOPE YOU CAN WALK ON█ AND HEAR THE CHEER OF THE AUDIENCE AT
SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE.
YOU KNOW THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER.
YOU KNOW HOW BEAUTIFUL IT IS DOWN THERE.
>> I LOVE THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE HERE FOR THE LAST NIGHT OF DAVE SHOW.
>> I WAS.
I WAS VERY FORTUNATE.
>> Stephen: WHAT WAS IT LIKE BACKSTAGE?
>> IT WAS TYPICAL DAVE NOT SAYING A FREAKIN' WORD.
>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT BACK TO THE OTHER PEOPLE?
>> ME, "SEINFELD," JULIA LOUISE, JIM CAREY AND I THINK STEVE
MARTIN, I BELIEVE, WE WERE HAPPY.
LETTERMAN IS HIS LOVELY MISERABLE SELF.
>> Stephen: I JUST HAD A MEMORY OF YOU.
I REALIZED THE FIRST TIME I MET YOU WAS I THINK WHEN THE COLBERT
REPORT WAS BEING ANNOUNCED, IT WAS AT SOME VIACOM THING UP
FRONT, AND THEY ANNOUNCED IT AND I'M ACTUALLY THERE.
I WAS IN AN OUTFIT I HAD TO WEAR FOR A BIT I WAS DOING FOR THE
"DAILY SHOW," THE LAST NIGHT BEFORE I MOVED OVER AND I THINK
IT WAS YOU AND ACCIDENT THINKS LEERY AND JEANINE GARAFALO,
WE'RE TALKING 15, 16 YEARS AGO, AND ME, AND THEY HAD US GET IN
FRONT OF A STEP AND REPEAT FOR A PHOTO.
>> I HAD SEEN YOU ONLY ONE OTHER TIME.
IT WAS A WEIRD MOVIE, NOT A GREAT MOVIE, BUT YOU WERE SO
FUNNY, IN THAT MIKE MYERS MOVIE, "THE LOVE GURU."
>> Stephen: I'LL NOT HAVE YOU SIT HERE AND CAST ASPERSIONS
ON -- THE AMERICAN FILM INSTITUTE HAS NAMED THAT ONE OF
THE 100 MOST MADE MOVIES -- >> I THOUGHT YOU WERE HYSTERICAL
IN "LOVE GURU."
I SAID, WHO IS THIS GUY?
HE'S HYSTERICAL!
>> Stephen: IT WAS JUST ME AND JIM GAFFIGAN HANGING OUT DWAYNE.
IT WAS ALL IN THE WRITER'S STRIKE AND THERE COULDN'T BE A
SCRIPT SO THEY SAID JUST IMPROVISE.
>> I THINK YOU SHOULD QUIT THIS SHOW AND JUST DO THAT GUY.
THAT GUY IS AMAZING.
>> Stephen: I'M IN!
WHEN WE COME BACK, CAN I GUEST HOST?
I DON'T WANT TO GUEST HOST, JUS- >> Stephen: NO, TOO LATE, I
ACCEPT!
I ACCEPT!
I ACCEPT, AND I PROMISE, I WILL COME BACK!
>> I WANT TO BE ED MCMAHON.
I JUST WANT TO SIT THERE AND -- CAN I JUST SIT THERE AND SMOKE
WEED AND -- >> Stephen: JUST LIKE ED
MCMAHON.
>> JUST LIKE ED MCMAHON!
>> Stephen: IF BY WEED, YOU MEAN A DUBUQUE HEM.
HE USED TO DO ALPO BEEF CHUNK SKINNERS ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW"
AND THEN CUT TO ED AND ED WOULD HAVE A DOG AND BOWL OF ALPO AND
MAKE ED SELL ALPO WHILE JOHNNY SAT THERE AND TALKED TO BARBIE
BENTON.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
CHRIS ROCK, "CHRIS ROCK:
TOTAL BLACKOUT: THE TAMBORINE EXTENDED CUT" IS AVAILABLE
TOMORROW ON NETFLIX.
CHRIS ROCK, EVERYBODY!
>> Stephen: HEY!
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
YOU KNOW, FOLKS, DOING THE SHOW IS A PRIVILEGE.
I GET TO TALK TO ALL SORTS OF INTERESTING PEOPLE ABOUT
FASCINATING SUBJECTS, SO I LIKE TO STEER CLEAR OF
TABLOID RUMORS AND CELEBRITY GOSSIP.
BUT DO YOU KNOW WHO I HEAR LOVES CELEBRITY GOSSIP?
AUBREY PLAZA.
IN FACT, SHE WAS ON MY SHOW LAST MONTHS -- LAST YEAR, ACTUALLY --
AND SHE DISHED OUT GOSS SO HOT, WE HAD TO LET IT COOL DOWN FOR
FOUR DAYS BEFORE WE COULD SERVE IT.
WELL, GOLDILOCKS, TONIGHT IT IS JUST RIGHT.
SO GET OUT YOUR PRRIDGE SPOON, YOU KNOW THAT BIG WOODEN ONE!
AND CALL IN PAPA BEAR, AND LET'S SLURP IT UP.
YOU'VE WORKED WITH HUGE STARS OVER THE YEARS.
YOU YOURSELF ARE A HUGE STAR BUT YOU'VE WORKED WITH HUGE STARS
OVER THE YEARS AND I'D LIKE TO DO A LITTLE SEGMENT RIGHT NOW IF
YOU'RE WILLING TO INDULGE ME AND AMERICA RIGHT NOW --
>> YES.
>> Stephen: -- A LITTLE GAME WE'RE TAWLG "TEA AT THE PLAZA"
WHERE AUBREY PLAZA SPILLS THE TEA ON SOME OF YOUR CO-STARS.
SOME OF WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO TELL US, IF YOU'RE WILLING TO GO
ALONG WITH US, SOME OF WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO TELL US IS NOT
TRUE, OKAY.
BUT YOU ARE GOING TO GREASE US WITH SOME SHADE, IF WHAT I SAID
MEANS ANYTHING.
>> MM-HMM.
>> Stephen: LET'S SPILL THE TEA.
>> WELL, I GUESS I BETTER GET MY CUP OF TEA.
>> Stephen: SHE HAS HER OWN PROPS.
TELL US SOMETHING SCANDALOUS ABOUT AMY POEHLER.
>> AMY POEHLER -- YOU KNOW WHAT I HEAR ABOUT HER?
>> Stephen: WHAT?
HE SLEEPS WITH A JUSTIN BIEBER DOLL IN BETWEEN HER LEGS
EVERY NIGHT.
WHAT A CREEP.
>> Stephen: AGAIN, SOME OF THESE ARE NOT TRUE.
>> THEY'RE ALL TRUE.
>> Stephen: ZAC EPHRON.
THE ZAC EPHRON HAS THE SMALLEST TEETH I'VE EVER SEEN.
THEY'RE LIKE LITTLE CHICKLETS.
IF YOU HAVE TO DO A KISSING SCENE WITH HIM, THEY'LL PROBABLY
FALL OUT IN YOUR MOUTH AND DOWN YOUR THROAT.
THAT WAS A SHOCKING ONE ABOUT EPHRON.
WHAT ABOUT ROBERT DE NIRO.
>> OOOH, YOU KNOW WHAT I HEARD ABOUT ROBERT DE NIRO THAT I KNOW
IS TRUE?
HE LIKES TO DRESS UP LIKE A MAIL MAN AND DELIVER MAIL, AND HE'S
NOT QUALIFIED TO DO THAT.
HE BETTER STOP THAT, BOB.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
>> Stephen: VICTOR GARBER.
VICTOR GARBER, DON'T GET ME STARTED.
>> Stephen: I'M AFRAID I HAVE TO.
>> VICTOR GARBER LIKES TO GET HIS KNEE PITS MA CADGED.
HE WANTS TO GET THEM GREASED UP AND WORKED OUT, AND I DON'T WANT
TO KNOW WHY.
>> Stephen: FINALLY, THE MUPPETS.
>> THE MUPPETS.
EVER HEARD OF MISS PIGGY?
>> Stephen: YES.
EVER SEEN HER TAIL?
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT HER TAIL -- SHE'S HAD WORK DONE
ON HER TAIL.
OKAY?
>> Stephen: WOW.
THAT BITCH GETS HER TAIL PLUMPED EVERY TWO MONTHS, SO
DON'T YOU BELIEVE WHAT YOU SEE WAGIN' AROUND ON THAT SCREEN.
SHE GETTING HER TAIL PLUMPED!
>> Stephen: THESE ARE ALSO EXCLUSIVES.
AUBREY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TRUSTING US WITH THIS
INFORMATION.
>> THANK YOU.
♪♪♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
PERFORMING HER NEW SINGLE, "WALK WITH ME," JOSS STONE!
♪ WALK WITH ME THROUGH EVERY FIRE IN THE LAND
♪ WALK WITH ME A TIME OF LOVE IS CLOSE AT HAND
♪ LET'S COME TOGETHER UNITED WE STAND
♪ SIDE BY SIDE STEP BY STEP
♪ WALK WITH ME WALK WITH ME
♪ WHEN OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS CANNOT BREATH
♪ LET IT BE KNOWN WE WON'T BACK DOWN
♪ WE WON'T LEAVE WHEN WE'RE FACIN'
♪ ANY KIND OF STRUGGLE THERE'S A HERO THERE
♪ TRYNA WASH AWAY ALL OF YOUR TROUBLES
♪ WALK WITH ME WALK WITH ME
♪ THROUGH THE DRAMA THESE DAYS WILL PASS
♪ WALK WITH ME THE TIME I LOVE IS CLOSE AT HAND
♪ LET'S COME TOGETHER UNITED WE STAND
♪ SIDE BY SIDE STEP BY STEP
♪ WALK WITH ME WALK WITH ME
♪ SO TAKE A HAND AND LET'S DIVE INTO THE WATER
♪ AND EVERY NOW AND THEN BEING HUMAN
♪ WE'RE GONNA FALTER BUT WE'LL PRESS ON AND BE STRONG
♪ AND WE WILL SURVIVE IT AND EVERY PATH THAT'S WRONG
♪ TOGETHER WE CAN RIGHT IT
♪ WALK WITH ME WALK WITH ME
♪ THROUGH EVERY PAINFUL HURT WE'VE HAD
♪ WALK WITH ME A TIME OF LOVE
♪ IS SO CLOSE AT HAND AT HAND
♪ LET'S COME TOGETHER UNITED WE STAND
♪ SIDE BY SIDE STEP BY STEP
♪ WALK WITH ME WALK WITH ME
♪ MIGHTY WINDS MAY HOWL AROUND US
♪ IT SEEMS WE'VE FOUND OURSELVES ON ROCKY GROUND
♪ DEATH IS ON REPEAT BUT ONE THING SEEMS CLEAR TO ME
♪ SOME MAY HATE US BUT THEY'LL NEVER BREAK US
♪ TOGETHER WITH LOVE IT'S MORE THAN ENOUGH
♪ WALK WITH ME THROUGH EVERY MADNESS
♪ IF YOU CAN WALK WITH ME
♪ A TIME OF LOVE IS SO CLOSE AT HAND
♪ COME TOGETHER, PEOPLE UNITED WE STAND
♪ SIDE BY SIDE STEP BY STEP
♪ WON'T YOU WALK WITH ME?
WALK WITH ME ♪ WOULD YOU WALK TOGETHER,
PLEASE?
♪ WON'T YOU WALK TOGETHER FINALLY?
♪ NO MORE DIVIDES NO MORE LIES
♪ NO MORE, PLEASE ♪ >> Stephen: JOSS STONE,
EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> STEPHEN: WELL, THAT'S IT FOR "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE FORMER F.B.I. DIRECTOR
JAMES COMEY, AND STAR OF "RIVERDALE," LILI REINHART.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.
Captioning sponsored by CBS Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
♪♪♪ .