1 00:00:01,501 --> 00:00:02,711 >> AN IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR THE WHITE HOUSE: WHAT WILL HAPPEN 2 00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:04,963 TO JOE BIDEN'S PELOTON? 3 00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:08,758 >> THE EXERCISE SYSTEM POSES A CYBER SECURITY RISK. 4 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:16,141 THE CAMERAS AND MICROPHONES ON THE BIKE COULD BE HACKED. 5 00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:19,227 >> (RUSSIAN ACCENT) HELLO, ELECTRICITY BICYCLE RIDER. 6 00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:20,437 I'M YOUR INSTRUCTOR U.S.A. MIKE. 7 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:20,729 LET'S GET TO EXERCISE. 8 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:24,274 ♪ ♪ 9 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:25,442 OH, I LOVE THIS SONG. 10 00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:29,446 IT REMIND ME OF MY HOMETOWN, WISCONSIN, OHIO. 11 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:33,450 NOW, LET'S SET THE RESISTANCE LEVEL TO FIRST DIGIT OF NUCLEAR 12 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:37,454 CODE, THEN SECOND DIGIT OF NUCLEAR CODE, AND SO ON. 13 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:40,290 FOR WORKING BICEP, GRAB SOMETHING HEAVY, LIKE MAYBE THE 14 00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:43,418 INTELLIGENCE REPORT YOU WERE GIVEN TODAY. 15 00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:45,128 LIFT UP AND TO THE CAMERA. 16 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:45,628 UP AND TO THE CAMERA. 17 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,965 UP AND TO THE CAMERA. 18 00:00:49,048 --> 00:00:52,510 NOW, LET'S GO ON THE SCENIC RIDE ON A BEAUTIFUL BEACH. 19 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:55,930 HELLO, I'M THE CONFIDENTIALITY CRAB. 20 00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:58,099 YOU CAN TELL ME ALL YOUR GOVERNMENT SECRETS. 21 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:05,482 >> ANNOUNCER: IT'S "A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT. 22 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:09,486 TONIGHT -- READY, SET, JOE! 23 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:13,490 PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES PRIYANKA CHOPRA JONAS, DEREK 24 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:16,785 DELGAUDIO AND FRANK OZ. 25 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:20,747 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HOMIN'. 26 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:24,334 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE 27 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:29,506 BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 28 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:30,673 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 29 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,509 WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW." 30 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:33,676 I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 31 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:39,808 TODAY WAS THE FIRST FULL DAY ON THE JOB FOR PRESIDENT BIDEN. 32 00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:47,649 OH -- OH, I'VE GOT TO SAY, THAT DOES FEEL GOOD ON THE TONGUE -- 33 00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:48,650 PRESIDENT BIDEN. 34 00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:49,651 IT'S LIKE LICKING FROSTING RIGHT OFF THE SPATULA. 35 00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:53,154 (OVER-ARTICULATING) PREZZZIDENT BIIIDEN NEEEVEER 36 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:57,325 BAAAANKRUPPTED A CAAAASINOO. 37 00:01:57,408 --> 00:02:05,166 THE FIRST DAY OF ANY JOB IS STRESSFUL, ESPECIALLY WHEN 38 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:08,211 YOU'RE THE NEW MANAGER, AND THE LAST GUY GOT CALLED INTO HR 39 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:12,215 FOR "INAPPROPRIATE WORKPLACE TREASONING." 40 00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:14,259 HE WAS ME-COUP'D. 41 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:18,888 BUT THIS NEW ADMINISTRATION HAS AN UNPRECEDENTED TO-DO LIST, 42 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,223 WHICH BIDEN LAID OUT IN HIS INAUGURAL ADDRESS: THE VIRUS, 43 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:24,269 CLIMATE CHANGE, GROWING INEQUALITY, RACISM, AMERICA'S 44 00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:28,231 GLOBAL STANDING, AND AN ATTACK ON TRUTH AND DEMOCRACY. 45 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:33,027 IT'S LIKE THE NEW FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE, WITH TWO 46 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:34,112 BONUS HORSES! 47 00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,239 YOU'VE GOT WAR, FAMINE, PESTILENCE, DEATH, PLUS GLOBAL 48 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:40,285 WARMING, AND YOUR UNCLE CARL. 49 00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:42,245 THE HORSE IN THE LEAD IS PESTILENCE. 50 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,247 BECAUSE THE PANDEMIC IS WORSE THAN EVER. 51 00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:48,251 YESTERDAY, THE U.S. RECORDED THE SECOND HIGHEST NUMBER OF COVID 52 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:52,255 DEATHS EVER, AND RIGHT NOW, AMERICANS ARE DYING FASTER OF 53 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:56,384 COVID-19 THAN OUR SOLDIERS DID IN WORLD WAR II. 54 00:02:56,467 --> 00:03:00,388 ONLY TO WIN THAT CONFLICT, WE HAD TO GET THE FASCISTS OUT OF 55 00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:04,309 THE GERMAN CAPITAL. 56 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:08,313 SO TODAY, PRESIDENT BIDEN SIGNED TEN EXECUTIVE ORDERS TO GET HIS 57 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:11,274 PANDEMIC PLAN ROLLING, INCLUDING A REQUIREMENT FOR MASKS WHILE 58 00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:15,069 TRAVELING, STUDIES AND TRIALS OF COVID-19 TREATMENTS, AND MORE 59 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,279 PUBLIC DATA ON CASES AND VACCINATIONS. 60 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:20,283 IT'S A NEW STRATEGY THE WHITE HOUSE IS CALLING "OPERATION: 61 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:24,287 WELL, DUH!" ONE EXECUTIVE ORDER IS AIMED AT 62 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:28,291 MAKING IT SAFER TO GO TO WORK, BY DIRECTING OSHA TO PUBLISH 63 00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:31,336 WORKER SAFETY GUIDELINES. 64 00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:36,633 THAT MEANS MASKS IN BREAK ROOMS, HAND SANITIZER AT THE DOORWAYS, 65 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:40,303 AND CHIPOTLE WILL CANCEL ITS POPULAR "BOBBING FOR GUAC." 66 00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:43,806 "YES, IT'S EXTRA." 67 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,642 AND THE BEST PART IS, THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION IS GOING TO KEEP 68 00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:51,230 US INFORMED ABOUT WHAT THEY'RE DOING, WITH REGULAR EXPERT-LED 69 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,357 SCIENCE-BASED PUBLIC BRIEFINGS. 70 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:56,319 WHICH WILL BE A NICE CHANGE FROM MORON-LED, CLOROX-BASED, 71 00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,321 DEXAMETHASONE RAMBLINGS. 72 00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,448 TODAY, WE HEARD FROM A MAN SO DEDICATED TO PROPER 73 00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:03,451 STERILIZATION TECHNIQUES THAT HE'S THE ONLY ONE TO EMERGE FROM 74 00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:08,998 THE LAST ADMINISTRATION NOT COVERED IN THE STENCH OF 75 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,166 FAILURE, DR. ANTHONY FAUCI. 76 00:04:10,249 --> 00:04:12,335 FAUCI SAYS HE'S GETTING ONE SPECIFIC QUESTION ABOUT THE NEW 77 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:16,339 COVID STRAINS THAT HAVE APPEARED IN THE U.K. AND SOUTH AFRICA. 78 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:20,468 >> WHAT IS IT ABOUT THESE MUTANTS THAT YOU ARE HEARING 79 00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:21,678 ABOUT? 80 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,304 >> STEPHEN: OKAY, THAT SOUNDS LIKE HE'S AUDITIONING FOR THE 81 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:24,514 NEXT "X-MEN" MOVIE. 82 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,766 (AS FAUCI) "WHAT ARE THESE MUTANTS WE HEAR 83 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:27,850 ABOUT? 84 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,812 WHY WON'T PROFESSOR X RELEASE HIS STUDENT BODY LIST? 85 00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,522 IF HE'S GOT RAZOR-SHARP KNIVES IN HIS HANDS, WHY DOESN'T 86 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,523 WOLVERINE HAVE A CLOSER SHAVE? 87 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:37,151 ONE GUY'S NAME IS CYCLOPS AND HE'S GOT TWO EYES? 88 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:44,701 NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE!" NEXT QUESTION. 89 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:48,371 FAUCI TOUCHED ON HOW THE BIDEN WHITE HOUSE DIFFERS FROM THE 90 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:51,082 LAST ONE, AND HE THREW SOME SHADE. 91 00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:52,375 >> ONE OF THE NEW THINGS IN THIS ADMINISTRATION, IF YOU DON'T 92 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:53,167 HAVE THE ANSWER, DON'T GUESS. 93 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:57,046 JUST SAY YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER. 94 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:57,630 >> STEPHEN: DR. FAUCI? 95 00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,882 MORE LIKE DOCTOR OUCH-IE! 96 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:00,508 BECAUSE THAT WAS A BURN! 97 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:04,554 ME-YOW! 98 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,390 YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE UP AN ANSWER 99 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,851 TO "HOW DOES TONY FEEL ABOUT THE PREVIOUS PRESIDENT," BECAUSE THE 100 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:12,437 D.N.A. TEST CAME BACK AND HE'S 100% THAT (BLEEP)! 101 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,356 THE GOOD DOCTOR MADE IT CLEAR, HE IS GLAD TO BE DONE DEALING 102 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:20,737 WITH THE PREVIOUS ADMINISTRATION. 103 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,448 >> I TAKE NO PLEASURE AT ALL IN BEING IN A SITUATION OF 104 00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:24,657 CONTRADICTING THE PRESIDENT. 105 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,493 SO IT WAS REALLY SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T FEEL YOU COULD ACTUALLY 106 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:31,748 SAY SOMETHING AND THERE WOULDN'T BE REPERCUSSIONS ABOUT IT. 107 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:35,418 THE IDEA THAT YOU CAN GET UP HERE AND TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU 108 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,419 KNOW AND WHAT THE EVIDENCE-- WHAT THE SCIENCE IS, AND KNOW 109 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,379 THAT'S IT. 110 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:39,213 LET THE SCIENCE SPEAK. 111 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,549 IT IS SOMEWHAT OF A LIBERATING FEELING. 112 00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:45,219 >> STEPHEN: THAT'S RIGHT, HE CAN JUST LET THE SCIENCE SPEAK. 113 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,388 FOR EXAMPLE: NATURE ABHORS A VACUUM. 114 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:56,439 AND LIKE A VACUUM, THE PREVIOUS ADMINISTRATION SUCKED. 115 00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:57,607 MEOW! 116 00:05:57,690 --> 00:06:00,818 EVEN THOUGH THE LAST PRESIDENT CLEARLY WASN'T IMPLEMENTING 117 00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:03,321 THEIR VACCINATION PLAN VERY WELL, BIDEN'S TEAM WERE HESITANT 118 00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:05,448 TO CRITICIZE THEM, BECAUSE THEY WERE "ALREADY HAVING A HARD TIME 119 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:08,493 GETTING CRITICAL INFORMATION AND COOPERATION FROM THE OUTGOING 120 00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:11,788 ADMINISTRATION." 121 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,790 THEY HAD TO BE NICE SO WHEN THEY GOT THERE, THE PREVIOUS FOLKS 122 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:16,793 WOULD LEAVE THEM THEIR PLAN! 123 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:20,338 WELL, YESTERDAY, BIDEN'S TEAM GOT THE PLAN, AND THEY FOUND OUT 124 00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:21,589 THAT PLAN IS NON-EXISTENT. 125 00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:24,467 SO THEY NEVER HAD A PLAN TO FIX THE WORST PUBLIC HEALTH CRISIS 126 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:27,678 IN A CENTURY? 127 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,514 THAT'S LIKE IF THE "OCEANS 11" HEIST KICKED OFF WITH GEORGE 128 00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:32,475 CLOONEY SAYING THIS: >> THIS IS THE VAULT AT THE 129 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,811 BELLAGIO. 130 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,479 I GOT NOTHING. 131 00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:41,776 LET'S GO! 132 00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,027 >> OKAY. 133 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:43,986 >> STEPHEN: BUT ASSISTANCE IS ON THE WAY, BECAUSE NOW, AMAZON IS 134 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,363 OFFERING TO HELP WITH VACCINE DISTRIBUTION. 135 00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,615 THANK GOD! 136 00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:48,491 I CAN'T WAIT TO GET A THREE-FOOT BOX THAT JUST HAS ONE SYRINGE 137 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:52,078 RATTLING AROUND. 138 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:53,746 OR BETTER YET, FIRE UP ONE OF THOSE DRONES AND LET IT SHOOT A 139 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:57,125 NEEDLE DIRECTLY INTO MY NECK! 140 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,460 UNTIL AMAZON IS READY, JUST TO GET THE VACCINE, PEOPLE ARE 141 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:00,211 TAKING EXTREME RISKS. 142 00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:03,881 BY WHICH I MEAN, GOING TO FLORIDA. 143 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,967 PEOPLE FROM OUTSIDE THE STATE ARE COMING TO FLORIDA TO GET 144 00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:10,638 VACCINATED, AN ISSUE THAT'S BEING CALLED VACCINE TOURISM. 145 00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:12,557 IT'S JUST ONE OF THE MANY TYPES OF FLORIDA-SPECIFIC TOURISM. 146 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:17,979 YOU'VE GOT "THEME PARK" TOURISM, "GOLF" TOURISM, AND "DIVORCED 147 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:20,606 DAD REALLY GETTING INTO A JIMMY BUFFET PHASE." 148 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:25,194 IT'S POSSIBLE THIS VACCINE TOURISM IS ACTUALLY THE RESULT 149 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,738 OF A HUGE OVERSIGHT, BECAUSE UNDER THE STATE'S CURRENT 150 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:28,573 VACCINATION PLAN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE FROM FLORIDA IN ORDER 151 00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:30,658 TO GET A VACCINE. 152 00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,660 SEEMS LIKE CHECKING AN ADDRESS WOULD BE IMPORTANT BEFORE 153 00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:34,579 HANDING OUT A VACCINE. 154 00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:37,456 YOU DON'T SEE STRIP CLUB BOUNCERS CHECKING I.D.S AND 155 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:40,543 SAYING, "WOW, THIS LOOKS PROFESSIONALLY LAMINATED. 156 00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:48,092 ENJOY THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM, MR. 'JOHN P. LEGAL-AGE'." 157 00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,510 BUT THE STATE IS CRACKING DOWN, AND NOW PEOPLE WHO SHOW UP FOR 158 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:52,555 VACCINES WILL BE ASKED TO SHOW THEIR FLORIDA I.D. IN ORDER TO 159 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,224 GET THE SHOT. 160 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,559 AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE, YOU CAN PROVE 161 00:07:56,642 --> 00:08:00,521 YOUR RESIDENCY BY SHOWING YOUR TRAMP STAMP OF CALVIN AND THE 162 00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:04,609 TASMANIAN DEVIL PEEING ON THE NAME OF YOUR EX. 163 00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:09,238 YESTERDAY'S INAUGURATION WAS A ROUGH DAY FOR MEMBERS OF Q-ANON, 164 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:13,075 WHICH IS A BIZARRE COLLECTION OF ONLINE CONSPIRACY THEORIES FROM 165 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:16,662 A COMPLICATED PLOT CONNECTING UF.O.S AND THE ILLUMINATI TO 166 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:21,417 THE CLAIM THAT CERTAIN CELEBRITIES, ENTREPRENEURS AND 167 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:24,086 POLITICIANS ARE LIZARD PEOPLE DISGUISED IN HUMAN SKIN. 168 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,548 OF COURSE, SOME OF THE LIZARDMAN SKIN SUITS ARE LESS CONVINCING 169 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,758 THAN OTHERS. 170 00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:32,637 YOU MAY KNOW OF Q-ANON THANKS TO THEIR EXTENSIVE PRODUCT 171 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:33,763 PLACEMENT AT THE CAPITOL RIOT. 172 00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:37,266 Q-ANON CRAZIES TAKE THEIR MARCHING ORDERS FROM A SHADOWY 173 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:40,603 ONLINE ANONYMOUS FIGURE NAMED "Q." 174 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:44,607 NO ONE KNOWS HIS OR HER, OR ITS REAL NAME, BUT AUTHORITIES HAVE 175 00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:48,611 RELEASED THIS VIDEO OF Q WITH TWO CO-CONSPIRATORS. 176 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:52,615 Q HAS POSTED THOUSANDS OF CRYPTIC MESSAGES SINCE 2017, 177 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:56,619 CLAIMING AMONG OTHER THINGS THAT THE 45TH PRESIDENT WAS SECRETLY 178 00:08:56,702 --> 00:09:01,499 SPEARHEADING A SPIRITUAL WAR AGAINST AN ELITE CABAL OF 179 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:04,627 CHILD-EATING SATANISTS WHO CONTROLLED WASHINGTON, HOLLYWOOD 180 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:08,798 AND THE WORLD AND WOULD SOON CORRAL HIS ENEMIES FOR MILITARY 181 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:12,426 TRIBUNALS AND MASS EXECUTIONS IN A SHOW OF FORCE THEY CALLED "THE 182 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:13,636 STORM." 183 00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:15,972 I DIDN'T KNOW WHY THEY THOUGHT HE COULD PULL OFF "THE STORM." 184 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:20,977 HE CAN'T EVEN CLOSE "THE UMBRELLA." 185 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:24,647 FOR FOUR YEARS, Q KEPT SAYING "TODAY'S THE DAY," AND THEN 186 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:25,856 NOTHING HAPPENED THAT DAY. 187 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:29,026 MEANWHILE, THE ONLINE PROMOTERS OF Q'S FAILED PROPHECIES WERE 188 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,987 RAKING IN CASH BY SELLING Q-ANON MERCHANDISE. 189 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,697 I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY MAKE THEM PAY FOR MERCH. 190 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:37,201 THE BEST CULTS GIVE YOU FREE KOOL-AID AND NIKES. 191 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,996 THE ELECTION PRESENTED A BIT OF PROBLEM FOR Q. 192 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:44,500 IF THE ALL-POWERFUL GUY WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO DO THE POWERFUL 193 00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:45,876 THING WASN'T IN POWER ANYMORE, HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO THE 194 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,504 THING? 195 00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:52,216 SO YESTERDAY, Q-ANON FOLLOWERS WATCHED THE INAUGURATION LIKE 196 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,469 LINUS IN A PUMPKIN PATCH, AND THE CONSPIRACY PEDDLERS KEPT 197 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:56,679 LEADING THEM ON, PROMISING THINGS LIKE THE BIDENS, OBAMAS 198 00:09:56,762 --> 00:10:00,725 AND CLINTONS WOULD BE ROUNDED UP AND EXECUTED FOR CHILD SEX 199 00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:04,687 TRAFFICKING, TREASON AND OTHER CRIMES, AND THAT THE FORMER 200 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:08,357 PRESIDENT WOULD REMAIN IN POWER. 201 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,026 IT SOUNDS DERANGED, BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF WEIRD INTERNET 202 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,528 THEORIES ABOUT HIM. 203 00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:12,945 FOR INSTANCE, IS HE... 204 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:16,991 PART SASQUATCH? 205 00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:20,828 BY THE TIME BIDEN WAS SWORN IN, IT BECAME APPARENT THAT THE 206 00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:24,707 STORM WASN'T COMING, AND Q-ANON FOLLOWERS STARTED POSTING THINGS 207 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:28,878 LIKE "I CAN'T STOP CRYING," "I FEEL SICK, DISGUSTED AND 208 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:29,503 DISAPPOINTED," AND "IT'S OVER. 209 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:32,673 IT IS SADLY, SADLY OVER." 210 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:36,719 IT WAS A SHORT WALK FROM "Q" TO "WHY!?" 211 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:40,723 ONE FOLLOWER WAS IN DISBELIEF, POSTING, "IT SIMPLY DOESN'T MAKE 212 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:44,727 SENSE THAT WE ALL GOT PLAYED." 213 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:47,188 UH... YES, IT DOES. 214 00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:48,731 YOU LISTENED TO A RANDO ON THE INTERNET. 215 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:51,859 BUT IF YOU'D LIKE TO GET REVENGE ON THAT RANDO, ALL YOU HAVE TO 216 00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:56,655 DO IS SEND SOME MONEY TO A NIGERIAN PRINCE I KNOW. 217 00:10:56,739 --> 00:11:01,035 OR JUST SEND IT TO ME, I'LL MAKE SURE HE GETS IT. 218 00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:02,787 THEN AGAIN, NOT EVERYTHING CAN MAKE AS MUCH SENSE AS J.F.K. JR 219 00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:05,414 FAKING HIS OWN DEATH IN ORDER TO ONE DAY RE-EMERGE TO JOIN THE 220 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,751 REPUBLICAN TICKET AND STOP BILL GATES FROM MICROCHIPPING OUR 221 00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:09,251 VACCINES. 222 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,087 COME ON, Q FOLLOWERS. 223 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,797 IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO JOIN THE REST OF US IN THE RATIONAL 224 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,092 WORLD, AND WAIT FOR JESUS TO COME BACK ON A CLOUD OF GLORY TO 225 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:20,054 JUDGE THE LIVING AND THE DEAD. 226 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:23,307 AFTER THE INAUGURAL, Q FOLLOWERS GOT A DOSE OF REALITY FROM ONE Q 227 00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:27,812 FORUM ADMINISTRATOR, WHO POSTED, "WE HAVE A NEW PRESIDENT SWORN 228 00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:31,774 IN, AND IT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY AS CITIZENS TO RESPECT THE 229 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,776 CONSTITUTION" ADDING, "PLEASE REMEMBER ALL THE FRIENDS AND 230 00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:36,779 HAPPY MEMORIES WE MADE TOGETHER OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS." 231 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:40,074 "TURNS OUT, THE REAL CONSPIRACY THEORY WAS THE CANNIBAL LIZARD 232 00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:43,369 FRIENDS WE MADE ALONG THE WAY." 233 00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:47,790 MUST BE DIFFICULT FOR THE Q-ANONS-- OR Q-BERTS, AS THEY 234 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,792 ARE NEVER CALLED-- BUT IF THEY'RE SAD AND LOOKING FOR 235 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:53,629 WAYS TO SPEND HOURS ON THE INTERNET RESEARCHING ARCANE 236 00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:56,006 AND IMPOSSIBLE-TO-UNDERSTAND THEORIES, MIGHT I SUGGEST 237 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,466 NERD CULTURE? 238 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,760 JOIN US! 239 00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:00,970 IT'S GREAT! 240 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:04,640 I SPEND EVERY WAKING MOMENT I'M NOT ON CAMERA READING J.R.R 241 00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:08,144 TOLKIEN, AND READING ABOUT J.R.R. TOLKIEN, AND LISTENING TO 242 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:11,814 TOLKIEN PODCASTS AND TAKING TOLKIEN QUIZZES AND READING THE 243 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:16,861 TOLKIEN DICTIONARY AND CORRECTING THE ENTRIES! 244 00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:20,156 WHY BE UPSET ABOUT FICTIONAL REPTILIAN SATANISTS, WHEN YOU 245 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:24,160 CAN BE ANGRY AT THE VERY REAL FACT THAT GLORFINDEL GOT SHAFTED 246 00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,870 IN THE "LORD OF THE RINGS" MOVIES? 247 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,122 LOOK, I UNDERSTAND ADDING ARWEN. 248 00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:30,166 I LIKE THAT. 249 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:35,004 EVEN THE PROFESSOR KNEW THAT SHE WAS AN UNDERDEVELOPED CHARACTER 250 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:38,007 IN THE NOVEL, BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CUT GLORFINDEL OUT? 251 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,717 HE DEFEATED A BALROG AT THE FALL OF GONDOLIN. 252 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:43,220 DOES THAT NOT COUNT FOR ANYTHING ANYMORE? 253 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,848 AND PLEASE, NO LETTERS THAT GLORFINDEL HIMSELF WAS KILLED 254 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,349 WHILE DEFEATING THE BALROG. 255 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,019 SO WAS ECTHELION, LORD OF THE HOUSE OF THE FOUNTAIN! 256 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,146 AND THAT WAS AGAINST GOTHMOG! 257 00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:58,569 SO WHAT'S YOUR POINT? 258 00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:00,237 AND I PROMISE, JUST LIKE Q-ANON, YOU WILL SOUND CRAZY, AND YOUR 259 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:04,200 FAMILY WILL WISH YOU WOULD FIND ANOTHER OUTLET FOR YOUR 260 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:10,873 OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER. 261 00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:16,712 AND NOR ONE WILL DIE, EXCEPT GANDALF. 262 00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:17,755 Q-ANON'S NOT THE ONLY RIGHT-WING NUT JOBS DISAPPOINTED BY THE 263 00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:18,672 FORMER PRESIDENT. 264 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:22,384 THE PROUD BOYS ARE FEELING SOME MAN-SHAME. 265 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,762 THIS FAR-RIGHT MEN'S GROUP WAS CREATED BECAUSE THEIR IRONIC 266 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:27,765 FOUNDER DIDN'T LIKE THE SONG "PROUD OF YOUR BOY" FROM 267 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,809 DISNEY'S "ALADDIN" MUSICAL. 268 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,394 IT'S WORSE FOR THEM NOW, BECAUSE AFTER THE INAUGURATION, IT'S 269 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:36,398 (SINGING) "A WHOLE NEW WORLD! 270 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:44,073 A MUCH LESS FASCIST POINT OF VIEW." 271 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:47,910 I'M NOT SINGING ANYMORE, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE I AM. 272 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,620 FOR FOUR YEARS, THE GROUP WERE RABID FANS OF THE FORMER 273 00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:52,206 PRESIDENT, BUT AS HE LEFT OFFICE, PROUD BOY MEMBERS HAVE 274 00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:55,084 STARTED MOCKING HIM ONLINE, SAYING HE'S "A TOTAL FAILURE," A 275 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:58,045 "SHILL," AND "VERY WEAK AND FLACCID." 276 00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:03,259 THAT LAST INSULT FROM PROUD BOY "NOT MELANIA 123." 277 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:07,012 THE PROUD BOYS ARE UPSET THAT FIVE OF THEIR MEMBERS HAVE BEEN 278 00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:11,141 ARRESTED FOR THE CAPITOL RIOT AND DIDN'T GET PARDONS. 279 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,935 THE BOYS ACCUSE THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF "INSTIGATING" THE 280 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:16,272 EVENTS AT THE CAPITOL, ADDING THAT HE THEN "WASHED HIS HANDS 281 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,731 OF IT." 282 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,984 YEP, HE'S A REAL PAUNCHY PILATE. 283 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:23,070 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 284 00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:26,782 MY GUESTS ARE PRIYANKA CHOPRA JONAS, AND DERRICK DELGAUDIO AND 285 00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,284 FRANK OZ. 286 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:35,332 BUT WHEN WE RETURN, "MEANWHILE!" JOIN US, WON'T YOU IN 287 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,333 ♪♪♪ 288 00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:58,439 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK TO A 289 00:14:58,522 --> 00:14:59,023 "LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY. 290 00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:01,775 SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE. 291 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:02,818 HELLO, JON. 292 00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:07,114 >> Jon: YES, INDEED, JUST DRIVING ON MY V-8 FORD. 293 00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:09,783 >> Stephen: I NEED JON. 294 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:13,162 I AM WORN OUT FROM LAST NIGHT'S LIVE SHOW. 295 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,831 IT'S SO EXCITING, WHAT A GREAT DAY, BUT I'M DONE. 296 00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:19,501 DO YOU HAVE ANY ENERGY YOU CAN IMPART THROUGH YOUR FINGERTIPS 297 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:22,212 THROUGH THE DRIVERIES AND INJECT INTO MY SOUL? 298 00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:25,341 >> Jon: OH, YEAH, I'M ALWAYS PUSHING THE ENERGY. 299 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:30,220 I'M PUSHING THE LOVE. 300 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:44,026 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: I AM BORN ANEW. 301 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:45,110 THANK YOU, JON. 302 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,696 JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY. 303 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,365 THANK YOU, SIR. 304 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:54,203 FOLKS, YOU KNOW I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME RAISING AND SHARING THE 305 00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:56,538 MOST TOPICAL SHEEP, GATHERING THEIR WOOL, HAND-WEAVING IT ON 306 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,165 MY SOLID OAK STORY LOOM, THEN DYEING IT WITH THE PUREST 307 00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:02,878 WORD-PIGMENT MONEY CAN BUY TO BRING YOU THE FINE, ARAN ISLE 308 00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:04,046 SWEATER THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE. 309 00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:09,927 BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, I LIKE TO TRAP A GARBAGE RACCOON, 310 00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:14,014 SEDATE IT WITH SOME EXPIRED CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE, SHAVE 311 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:20,437 ITS TAIL WITH A BOX CUTTER, THEN USE SOME LEFTOVER 312 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:21,730 CHOP STICKS TO KNIT IT ALL INTO THE TRAILER PARK CROP TOP OF 313 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:26,944 NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT: "QUARANTINE-WHILE!" 314 00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:30,072 QUARANTINE-WHILE, A COUPLE IN CANADA IS FACING LEGAL TROUBLE 315 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:33,701 FOR BREAKING QUEBEC'S NEW COVID RULES, WHERE WALKING YOUR DOG IS 316 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:37,413 ONE OF THE ONLY THINGS ALLOWED AFTER 8:00 P.M. 317 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:41,375 BUT POLICE CAUGHT A WOMAN "WALKING HER HUSBAND ON A LEASH 318 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:43,877 AFTER CURFEW." 319 00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:45,379 POLICE WERE GOING TO PUNISH THE HUSBAND, BUT TURNS OUT, HE WAS 320 00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:48,590 INTO IT. 321 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:52,469 QUARANTINE-WHILE, YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW THAT NOTORIOUS 322 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,764 COCAINE LORD PABLO ESCOBAR FAMOUSLY AND ILLEGALLY IMPORTED 323 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,474 A BUNCH OF HIPPOS TO COLOMBIA. 324 00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,226 WELL, NOW, SCIENTISTS WARN: COLOMBIA'S COCAINE HIPPOS MUST 325 00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,437 BE STOPPED. 326 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,565 FLORIDA, YOU'RE UP! 327 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:05,441 RELEASE THE METH GATORS! 328 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:08,444 FOR SCIENCE! 329 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,946 "COCAINE HIPPOS" ARE LIKE REGULAR HIPPOS, BUT THEY CORNER 330 00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:14,992 YOU AT PARTIES AND INSIST THAT YOU GUYS SHOULD START A BAND. 331 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:17,453 THE PROBLEM IS, THE HIPPOS HAVE NO PREDATORS AND NOW POSE A 332 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:18,954 THREAT TO LOCAL WILDLIFE. 333 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,122 AND YOU CAN SEE JUST HOW DANGEROUS THEY ARE IN THIS 334 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:23,792 ACTUAL FOOTAGE OF THE COCAINE HIPPOS IN ACTION: 335 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:24,334 >> COKE! 336 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:25,043 >> WOWEE, I LOVE COKE! 337 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:29,131 WHO WANTS TO READ MY SCREENPLAY? 338 00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:30,215 >> I BET IT'S SO GOOD! 339 00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:33,469 >> STEPHEN: QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN SNAKE NEWS, SCIENTISTS 340 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:37,473 DISCOVERED SNAKES CAN TURN THEIR BODY INTO LASSOS TO CLIMB BY 341 00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:41,477 WORKING THEIR BODIES AGAINST THEMSELVES, AS YOU CAN SEE IN 342 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:45,272 THIS INFRARED FOOTAGE. 343 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:48,650 CONGRATULATIONS SPIDERS WHO LAY EGGS IN 344 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:49,985 MY EARS WHILE I SLEEP, YOU ARE NO LONGER MY NUMBER ONE 345 00:17:50,068 --> 00:17:51,528 RECURRING NIGHTMARE. 346 00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:53,447 QUARANTINE-WHILE, SCIENTISTS HAVE ANNOUNCED THE DISCOVERY OF 347 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:58,994 A NEW BAT SPECIES IN AFRICA THAT HAS A STRIKING MIX OF FIERY 348 00:17:59,077 --> 00:18:01,205 ORANGE AND BLACK COLORS. 349 00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:04,333 BUT ALMOST MISSED IT, ORIGINALLY BELIEVING IT TO BE JUST A 350 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:05,501 WEIRDLY COLORED ONE. 351 00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:09,505 I'VE GOT TO SAY, "MAYBE IT'S JUST WEIRD" IS NOT THE MOST 352 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:11,799 SCIENTIFIC REACTION. 353 00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,509 REMINDS ME OF FOSSIL-HUNTER WILLIAM BUCKLAND, WHO DISCOVERED 354 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:17,513 THE FIRST DINOSAUR BONES: >> I MAY HAVE DISCOVERED A 355 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,182 PREVIOUSLY UNCATALOGUED FORM OF PREHISTORIC LIFE... OR MAYBE 356 00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:23,310 THEY'RE JUST SOME BIG FREAKY CHICKEN BONES, I DUNNO!" 357 00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:27,189 ALSO, HOW'S ABOUT WE GET DONE WITH THE CURRENT PANDEMIC BEFORE 358 00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:30,859 WE GO POKING AROUND IN THE CAVES FOR UNDISCOVERED BATS? 359 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,528 YOU DIDN'T SEE PEOPLE IN THE MIDDLE AGES GOING "HEY, YOU KNOW 360 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:37,533 WHAT'LL TAKE OUR MINDS OFF THIS PLAGUE? 361 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,784 A RAT SAFARI." 362 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:41,829 QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN A SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT, PEPSI AND COCA-COLA 363 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:45,666 WILL NOT RUN ADS DURING THE SUPER BOWL. 364 00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:52,756 SO, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO WATCH? 365 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:57,427 QUARANTINE WHILE, A NEW FOSSIL FROM 366 00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,888 CHINA OF A PSITTA-COSAURUS IS SO WELL PRESERVED THAT THE OPENING 367 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,223 THAT THE LABRADOR-SIZED DINOSAUR USED TO PEE, POOP, AND REPRODUCE 368 00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:02,391 IS VISIBLE." 369 00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:05,561 OR AS THE ONLINE PUBLICATION "LIVE SCIENCE" PUT IT: "THE 370 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:09,565 FIRST PRESERVED DINOSAUR BUTTHOLE IS 'PERFECT' AND 371 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,234 'UNIQUE.'" UNEXPECTED PHRASING, BUT A HUGE 372 00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:17,406 LEAP FORWARD IN DINOSAUR BUTTHOLE POSITIVITY. 373 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:20,534 THE OPENING IN QUESTION IS THE CLOACA, COMMON IN REPTILES AND 374 00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:21,577 BIRDS. 375 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,246 EXPERTS SAY "MOST CLOACAS FORM A KIND OF SLIT. 376 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,290 SOMETIMES IT'S A VERTICAL SPLIT, SOMETIMES IT'S A SMILEY FACE, 377 00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:29,585 SOMETIMES IT'S A SOUR FACE. 378 00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:33,589 BUT THIS THING HAS A V-SHAPED STRUCTURE WITH A PAIR OF NICE 379 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:37,551 FLARING LIPS." 380 00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:41,597 AND I'M UPSET TO HAVE READ THAT OUT LOUD. 381 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:45,601 AND I AM BEING INFORMED THAT GWYNETH PALTROW HAS ALREADY 382 00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:50,564 RELEASED "THIS CANDLE SMELLS LIKE A PSITTA-COSAURUS' CLOACA." 383 00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:52,900 WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT THE LATEST GAME THAT 384 00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:53,609 HOLLYWOOD IS BUZZING ABOUT. 385 00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:57,738 STICK AROUND. 386 00:19:57,821 --> 00:20:01,199 ♪♪♪ 387 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:10,626 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK. 388 00:20:11,209 --> 00:20:13,128 WE ALL KNOW 2020 WAS A BAD YEAR FOR THE FILM INDUSTRY, DUE TO 389 00:20:13,211 --> 00:20:19,134 BOTH COVID-19 AND THE RELEASE OF "DOLITTLE." 390 00:20:19,217 --> 00:20:21,261 BUT THINGS ARE STARTING TO LOOK UP FOR HOLLYWOOD BECAUSE IT WAS 391 00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:23,305 JUST ANNOUNCED THAT THERE'S A NEW MOVIE IN THE WORKS BASED ON 392 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:24,473 THE RUBIK'S CUBE. 393 00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:27,142 IT'S SURE TO CAPTURE ALL THE FUN OF THE CLASSIC TOY... FROM 394 00:20:27,225 --> 00:20:29,519 GETTING ONE AS A GIFT, TO REALIZING HOW HARD IT IS, TO 395 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,146 SHOVING IT IN THE BACK OF A DRAWER AND NEVER THINKING ABOUT 396 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,857 IT AGAIN. 397 00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:35,484 AND IF A MOVIE WASN'T ENOUGH, IT TURNS THERE ARE ALSO PLANS TO 398 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:39,154 TURN THE RUBIK'S CUBE INTO A GAME SHOW. 399 00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:43,158 A HINT FOR CONTESTANTS: JUST PEEL OFF THE STICKERS, REARRANGE 400 00:20:43,241 --> 00:20:44,451 THEM, AND PRETEND YOU'VE WON. 401 00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:46,328 NOW SOME PEOPLE ARE SAYING THESE PROJECTS ARE JUST TRYING TO 402 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:53,377 CAPITALIZE ON A RENEWED INTEREST IN CLASSIC GAMES SINCE CHESS GOT 403 00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:54,294 A MAJOR POPULARITY BOOST THANKS TO THE HIT NETFLIX SERIES "THE 404 00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:56,672 QUEEN'S GAMBIT." 405 00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:58,215 BUT I THINK THIS RUBIK'S CUBE IDEA HAS LEGS. 406 00:20:58,298 --> 00:21:03,178 THERE MUST BE MILLIONS OF DIE-HARD CUBE HEADS OUT THERE 407 00:21:03,261 --> 00:21:05,514 JUST CLAMORING FOR MORE RUBIK-CENTRIC 408 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:06,974 CONTENT ON MULTIPLE PLATFORMS. 409 00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:09,685 WHICH IS WHY I DEVELOPED MY OWN 14-PART PRESTIGE STREAMING 410 00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:13,021 SERIES BASED ON THE RUBIK'S CUBE. 411 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:15,357 IT MIXES ELEMENTS OF "THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT" WITH A STRONG 412 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,527 DESIRE TO MAKE A LOT OF MONEY ON THE POPULARITY OF "THE QUEEN'S 413 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:19,653 GAMBIT." 414 00:21:19,736 --> 00:21:25,367 AND TONIGHT, I PROUDLY PRESENT AN EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PEAK. 415 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:28,245 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (TICKING CLOCK) 416 00:21:28,328 --> 00:21:30,706 >> THE WORLD OF COMPETITIVE RUBIK'S CUBING IS A MAN'S WORLD. 417 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:31,206 USUALLY YOUNG MEN. 418 00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:39,047 CHILDREN, REALLY. 419 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,007 >> NOT ANYMORE. 420 00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:42,384 (MUSIC SWELLS) I WASN'T JUST HANDED MY SEAT AT 421 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:43,343 THE INTERNATIONAL WORLD RUBIKS CUBE OLYMPIAD. 422 00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:45,470 I HAD TO OVERCOME SO MUCH: SEXISM. 423 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:46,054 A SPRAINED WRIST. 424 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,222 TEMPORARY COLOR-BLINDNESS. 425 00:21:47,305 --> 00:21:53,186 >> YOU MAY BE THE GREATEST NATURAL TALENT I'VE EVER SEEN. 426 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:55,230 BUT MUST MASTER THE OPENING MOVE KNOWN ONLY TO THE MOST 427 00:21:55,313 --> 00:21:56,857 DISTINGUISHED PLAYERS. 428 00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:59,234 IT'S CALLED, "TURN THE LEFT BOTTOM MIDDLE, FORWARD TO THE 429 00:21:59,317 --> 00:22:00,402 FRONT-FACING PART." 430 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:01,361 IT'S NOT LIKE CHESS. 431 00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:09,911 WE DON'T GET TO HAVE COOL NAMES FOR THINGS. 432 00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:15,208 >> IT MAY JUST BE A BLOCK COVERED IN LITTLE STICKERS 433 00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:17,753 TO YOU, BUT TO ME IT'S THE ENTIRE WORLD! 434 00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:19,212 OH, ALSO DRUGS. 435 00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:23,216 I DO TONS OF DRUGS. 436 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:31,808 YOU DON'T KNOW ME! 437 00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:32,768 >> TURN THE LEFT BOTTOM MIDDLE SIDEWAYS TOWARD THE FRONT FACING 438 00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:35,771 PART. 439 00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:39,107 >> STEPHEN: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ACTRESS PRIYANKA CHOPRA 440 00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:39,483 JONAS. 441 00:22:39,566 --> 00:22:40,734 STICK AROUND. 442 00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:56,375 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 443 00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:59,419 WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW." 444 00:22:59,503 --> 00:23:00,796 SHE IS AN ACTRESS, PHILANTHROPIST, AND FORMER MISS 445 00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:03,090 WORLD. 446 00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:04,800 SHE NOW STARS IN, AND EXECUTIVE PRODUCES, THE NEW FILM "THE 447 00:23:04,883 --> 00:23:05,967 WHITE TIGER." 448 00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:09,471 PLEASE WELCOME PRIYANKA CHOPRA JONAS! 449 00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:11,765 PRIYANKA, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. 450 00:23:11,848 --> 00:23:13,767 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME. 451 00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:16,186 I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE 2017, I THINK. 452 00:23:16,269 --> 00:23:19,314 >> Stephen: IT'S BEEN TOO LONG. 453 00:23:19,397 --> 00:23:24,194 CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, I THINK YOU MAY BE WINNING THE BEST ZOOM 454 00:23:24,277 --> 00:23:27,489 BACKGROUND SO FAR TO OF THE PANDEMIC. 455 00:23:27,572 --> 00:23:29,407 THAT IS BEAUTIFUL STAGING YOU'VE GOT THERE. 456 00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:33,995 >> LET ME TELL YOU, I COMMITTED TO THE ZOOM THING A LOT EARLIER 457 00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,163 THAN MOST PEOPLE. 458 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:37,999 EVERYONE'S WAITING FOR, YOU KNOW, US ZOOMING TO BE OVER. 459 00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:43,004 WHEN ARE WE GOING BACK TO OFFICES. 460 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:44,381 THAT'S NOT HAPPENING FOR A WHILE. 461 00:23:44,464 --> 00:23:50,178 SO I COMMITTED, AND I BOUGHT AMAZON LITE, AND I FOUND AN AREA 462 00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:52,973 IN MY HOUSE AND SET IT UP, OR A FRIEND OF MINE TID. 463 00:23:53,056 --> 00:23:56,351 >> Stephen: THE LAST TIME WE WERE TOGETHER YOU WERE PRIYANKA 464 00:23:56,434 --> 00:23:58,186 CHOPRA, NOW YOU'RE PRIYANKA CHOPRA JONAS. 465 00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:01,523 FIRST OF ALL, CONGRATULATIONS TO NICK JONAS. 466 00:24:01,606 --> 00:24:04,151 >> RIGHT? 467 00:24:04,234 --> 00:24:05,026 >> Stephen: COME ON. 468 00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:05,861 DUH. 469 00:24:05,944 --> 00:24:08,488 >> Stephen: HOW IS PANDEMIC MARRIAGE? 470 00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:10,657 >> UM, IT'S GREAT BECAUSE WE STILL LIKE EACH OTHER. 471 00:24:10,740 --> 00:24:14,578 >> Stephen: THAT'S ALWAYS GOOD. 472 00:24:14,661 --> 00:24:15,120 THAT'S ALWAYS GOOD. 473 00:24:15,203 --> 00:24:16,538 >> THOUGHTS IMPORTANT. 474 00:24:16,621 --> 00:24:21,376 ALSO, I DON'T THINK WE BOTH HAVE HAD SUCH INDIVIDUAL CAREERS THAT 475 00:24:21,459 --> 00:24:24,671 I DON'T THINK WE WOULD HAVE HAD SIX MONTHS WITH EACH OTHER EVER, 476 00:24:24,754 --> 00:24:28,341 SO THAT'S REALLY A BLESSING, AND I WAS REALLY HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO 477 00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:30,552 HAVE THAT TIME WITH EACH OTHER. 478 00:24:30,635 --> 00:24:34,055 >> Stephen: DID YOU WATCH THE INAUGURATION OF THE NEW 479 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:34,431 PRESIDENT? 480 00:24:34,514 --> 00:24:34,890 >> YES, I DID. 481 00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:36,141 >> Stephen: OKAY. 482 00:24:36,224 --> 00:24:39,561 AS A SOUTH ASIAN WOMAN YOURSELF, WHAT DID IT MEAN TO YOU TO SEE 483 00:24:39,644 --> 00:24:46,568 THE NEW VICE PRESIDENT TO BE THE FIRST FEMALE, FIRST SOUTH ASIAN, 484 00:24:46,651 --> 00:24:50,530 FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN VICE PRESIDENT? 485 00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:51,740 >> A COUPLE OF THINGS. 486 00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:55,243 IT WAS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL MOMENT FOR A LOT OF MY FRIENDS AND 487 00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:57,454 FAMILY, BUT COMING FROM A COUNTRY LIKE INDIA WHICH HAS 488 00:24:57,537 --> 00:25:02,626 SEEN SEVERAL WOMEN IN GOVERNANCE FROM PRIME MINISTERS TO 489 00:25:02,709 --> 00:25:06,588 PRESIDENTS, WELCOME TO THE CLUB, AMERICA, IS WHAT I WAS SAYING. 490 00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:09,591 YOU KNOW, HIGH TIME, AND I HOPE THIS IS NOT THE FIRST. 491 00:25:09,674 --> 00:25:12,594 I HOPE THIS IS MANY, MANY BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT GOVERNANCE 492 00:25:12,677 --> 00:25:16,556 SHOULD LOOK LIKE, AND LEADERSHIP LOOKS AMAZING ESPECIALLY WHEN 493 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:21,603 IT'S DIVERSE AND REFLECTIVE OF WHAT THE WORLD REALLY LOOKS 494 00:25:21,686 --> 00:25:22,729 LIKE. 495 00:25:22,812 --> 00:25:23,730 >> Stephen: YOU RECENTLY POSTED SOMETHING THAT I WOULD 496 00:25:23,813 --> 00:25:28,068 LIKE TO SHOW OUR AUDIENCE RIGHT NOW. 497 00:25:28,151 --> 00:25:34,282 THIS IS -- I GUESS YOU'RE 17 YEARS OLD IN THIS PHOTO, AND 498 00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:40,121 HERE YOU HAVE IT -- LEAN, MEAN AND ALL OF 17. 499 00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:42,624 AND THIS WAS BEFORE YOU WERE MISS WORLD, BEFORE YOU WERE MISS 500 00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,084 INDIA. 501 00:25:44,167 --> 00:25:44,793 >> UH-HUH. 502 00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:45,961 >> Stephen: WHAT WAS YOUR PLAN? 503 00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:49,673 AT THAT AGE, WHAT TID YOU THINK YOU WERE GOING TO DO? 504 00:25:49,756 --> 00:25:50,799 >> WELL, I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. 505 00:25:50,882 --> 00:25:55,804 THIS WAS 12th GRADE AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS KIND OF FEELING 506 00:25:55,887 --> 00:25:57,013 MYSELF. 507 00:25:57,097 --> 00:25:59,307 IT WAS ALL ABOUT MAKING SURE I GET THROUGH MY EXAMS, WHICH AT 508 00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:01,601 THAT TIME WERE REALLY DAUNTING FOR ME. 509 00:26:01,685 --> 00:26:05,605 AND, YOU KNOW, I HAD JUST BEEN SELECTED FOR MISS INDIA, AND I 510 00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:09,985 THINK I WAS JUST, LIKE, REALLY FIGURING OUT WHAT MY MODEL SELF 511 00:26:10,068 --> 00:26:11,236 LOOKED LIKE. 512 00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:14,823 AND RIGHT NOW, LOOKING BACK, I'M, LIKE, WHERE DID THESE 513 00:26:14,906 --> 00:26:15,448 CURVES COME FROM? 514 00:26:15,532 --> 00:26:18,994 I USED TO BE REALLY LEAN. 515 00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:20,870 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I HAVE A QUESTION. 516 00:26:20,954 --> 00:26:24,165 WHEN I FIRST INTERVIEWED YOU, YOU WERE ALREADY HUGE IN INDIA, 517 00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:28,670 AND YOU WERE COMING OVER TO DO YOUR FIRST TELEVISION SHOW IN 518 00:26:28,753 --> 00:26:29,921 THE UNITED STATES. 519 00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:35,510 WHEN YOU FIRST CAME OVER TO THE UNITED STATES -- I KNOW THIS IS 520 00:26:35,593 --> 00:26:38,555 LIKE A TINY, PETTY AND UNIMPORTANT QUESTION, BUT I'M 521 00:26:38,638 --> 00:26:42,058 CURIOUS -- CHINESE PEOPLE WHO COME TO THE UNITED STATES SEE 522 00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:45,020 CHINESE FOOD AND GO, THAT'S NOT CHINESE FOOD. 523 00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:51,484 ITALIAN PEOPLE COME HERE AND SAY, THAT'S NOT ITALIAN FOOD. 524 00:26:51,568 --> 00:26:53,820 IS INDIAN FOOD YOU GET IN THE UNITED STATES ACTUALLY INDIAN 525 00:26:53,903 --> 00:26:58,575 FOOD OR IS IT AN AMERICANIZED VERSION OF IT? 526 00:26:58,658 --> 00:27:03,038 >> NO, IF YOU GO TO THE RIGHT PLACE -- THERE'S SUCH A LARGE 527 00:27:03,121 --> 00:27:06,166 AMERICAN-INDIAN COMMUNITY IN AMERICA THAT I HAVE BEEN IN 528 00:27:06,249 --> 00:27:07,709 RESTAURANTS THAT ARE SUPER AUTHENTIC. 529 00:27:07,792 --> 00:27:11,504 I'VE DEFINITELY HAD FOOD WHICH IS SUPER AUTHENTIC, BUT JUST 530 00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:14,924 BECAUSE I THINK IT LENDS TO SUCH A LARGE COMMUNITY HERE. 531 00:27:15,008 --> 00:27:19,262 BUT IF YOU COME TO INDIA, WE FLAVORRIZE EVERY CUISINE WITH 532 00:27:19,346 --> 00:27:21,556 SPICES AND INDIAN FOOD. 533 00:27:21,639 --> 00:27:25,101 THERE'S INDIAN CHINESE, INDIAN ITALIAN, INDIAN EVERYTHING. 534 00:27:25,185 --> 00:27:28,730 >> Stephen: THE NEW MOVIE IS "THE WHITE TIGER," BASED ON AN 535 00:27:28,813 --> 00:27:34,069 2008 NOVEL, AND IT WON THE MAN BOOKER PRIZE. 536 00:27:34,152 --> 00:27:36,613 YOU'VE EXECUTIVE PRODUCED THE MOVIE. 537 00:27:36,696 --> 00:27:38,907 WHAT IS IT ABOUT AND WHO DO YOU PLAY? 538 00:27:38,990 --> 00:27:40,867 >> WELL, THE MOVIE IS ACTUALLY REALLY INTERESTING. 539 00:27:40,950 --> 00:27:45,872 THE BOOK IS BASED PREDOMINANTLY ON AN AMBITIOUS MAN WHO WANTS TO 540 00:27:45,955 --> 00:27:51,586 DEFY WHAT HIS BIRTH HAS, YOU KNOW, DESTINED FOR HIM. 541 00:27:51,669 --> 00:27:56,591 PEOPLE'S BIRTHRIGHT -- HE'S BORN IN THIS VORTEX OF POVERTY AND 542 00:27:56,674 --> 00:28:00,011 THE SOCIOECONOMIC DIVIDE THAT IS EVER INCREASING, THIS IS SORT OF 543 00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:00,887 A MAN TRYING TO CLAW HIS WAY OUT. 544 00:28:00,970 --> 00:28:04,099 IT'S A STORY ABOUT AMBITION. 545 00:28:04,182 --> 00:28:06,601 IT'S TOLD VERY SARCASTICALLY. 546 00:28:06,684 --> 00:28:07,894 IT'S FUNNY. 547 00:28:07,977 --> 00:28:10,772 MY CHARACTER IS -- HE BECOMES A DRIVER, AND MY CHARACTER IS THE 548 00:28:10,855 --> 00:28:17,654 PEOPLE WHO HE WORKS FOR, AND I PLAY AN AMERICAN GIRL WHO COMES 549 00:28:17,737 --> 00:28:21,616 IN AND IS WOKE AND, YOU KNOW, TRIES TO SORT OF RELATE TO HIM 550 00:28:21,699 --> 00:28:24,953 AND TELLS HIM, YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD GET OUT OF THE 551 00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:26,496 CIRCUMSTANCES THAT YOU'RE IN. 552 00:28:26,579 --> 00:28:29,958 I PULLED MYSELF OUT OF IT, NOT REALIZING THE COMPLEXITIES OF 553 00:28:30,041 --> 00:28:34,629 BEING BORN INTO POVERTY. 554 00:28:34,712 --> 00:28:36,923 AND HER GRAY HAIRSELF, WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT, SHE'S NOT AS WOKE. 555 00:28:37,006 --> 00:28:42,679 SO I LOVE THIS MOVIE HAS A NARRATIVE ABOUT HUMAN NATURE 556 00:28:42,762 --> 00:28:47,642 WHICH, WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT, WE ALWAYS BAT FOR OURSELVES. 557 00:28:47,725 --> 00:28:49,018 THAT'S A CROOKED REFERENCE. 558 00:28:49,102 --> 00:28:50,937 >> Stephen: WE BAT OVER HERE, TOO. 559 00:28:51,020 --> 00:28:51,563 >> GREAT. 560 00:28:51,646 --> 00:28:52,439 >> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP. 561 00:28:52,522 --> 00:28:54,691 CAN YOU TELL US WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THIS? 562 00:28:54,774 --> 00:28:59,529 >> YES, THE CLIP YOU'RE GOING TO SEE IS ME AND OUR DRIVER HAVING 563 00:28:59,612 --> 00:29:03,616 A CONVERSATION AND ME TELLING HIM TO PULL HIMSELF OUT OF HIS 564 00:29:03,700 --> 00:29:04,033 CIRCUMSTANCES. 565 00:29:04,117 --> 00:29:06,703 >> Stephen: JIM. 566 00:29:06,786 --> 00:29:12,625 COME HERE. 567 00:29:12,709 --> 00:29:14,043 MADAM. 568 00:29:14,127 --> 00:29:14,961 SIT DOWN. 569 00:29:15,044 --> 00:29:16,838 I THINK IT'S WRONG THE WAY YOU WORK FOR US. 570 00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:22,010 YOU SHOULD BE FINISHING YOUR EDUCATION, STARTING YOUR OWN 571 00:29:22,093 --> 00:29:22,677 FAMILY. 572 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:24,804 >> YOU ARE FAMILY TO ME, MADAM. 573 00:29:24,888 --> 00:29:27,015 DON'T SAY THAT, THAT'S NOT TRUE. 574 00:29:27,098 --> 00:29:30,894 YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BELIEVE THAT. 575 00:29:30,977 --> 00:29:34,814 DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY PARENTS DO IN AMERICA? 576 00:29:34,898 --> 00:29:39,569 THEY RUN A ( BLEEP ) BOTAIGA I JACKSON HEIGHTS SELLING BEER AND 577 00:29:39,652 --> 00:29:40,862 PORN. 578 00:29:40,945 --> 00:29:44,032 I USED TO DO MY HOMEWORK IN THE BASEMENT AND ONE NIGHT I SAW MY 579 00:29:44,115 --> 00:29:45,950 MOM HELD AT GUNPOINT AND SHE STILL FINISHED WORKING HER SHIFT 580 00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:46,868 FOR THE NIGHT. 581 00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:48,995 I GOT OUT. 582 00:29:49,078 --> 00:29:53,666 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO. 583 00:29:53,750 --> 00:30:00,173 >> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND THE DIRECTOR HAD A STYLE OF 584 00:30:00,256 --> 00:30:01,758 DIRECTING YOU WEREN'T USED TO. 585 00:30:01,841 --> 00:30:05,553 I'D LOVE YOU TO TELL THE STORY BECAUSE, AS SOMEONE WHO'S DONE 586 00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:08,223 SOME ACTING, I WOULD FIND THIS DISORIENTING AS WELL. 587 00:30:08,306 --> 00:30:08,890 GO AHEAD. 588 00:30:08,973 --> 00:30:09,182 >> RIGHT. 589 00:30:09,265 --> 00:30:09,599 ALSO. 590 00:30:09,682 --> 00:30:10,892 IT WAS SO FUNNY. 591 00:30:10,975 --> 00:30:20,068 THE LEAD ACTOR OF OUR MOVIE SAID IT WAS SO LIBERATING AS AN ACTOR 592 00:30:20,151 --> 00:30:22,737 NOT TO HAVE A DIRECTOR SAY "ACTION." 593 00:30:22,820 --> 00:30:25,406 >> Stephen: HE DOESN'T YELL ACTION. 594 00:30:25,490 --> 00:30:27,033 >> RAMIN DOESN'T SAY ACTION OR CUT. 595 00:30:27,116 --> 00:30:28,159 HE SAYS, WHENEVER YOU'RE READY. 596 00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:30,912 AND THE CAMERA ROLLS AND WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, YOU START 597 00:30:30,995 --> 00:30:33,039 ACTING. 598 00:30:33,122 --> 00:30:36,084 PHO ARDESH, HE LOVED IT. 599 00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:38,920 HE SAID I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE A ROBOT. 600 00:30:39,003 --> 00:30:44,551 ME WHO'S USED TO GOING ON ACTION, IT'S LIKE READY, SET, 601 00:30:44,634 --> 00:30:46,636 GO, YOU KNOW WHEN TO START. 602 00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:49,430 I'M READY FOR ACTION, THE CAMERA IS MIND ME. 603 00:30:49,514 --> 00:30:53,476 FIRST DAY, NO ACTION, I TURN AROUND, AND HE SAID, YOU JUST 604 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:54,477 GO. 605 00:30:54,561 --> 00:30:59,148 I WAS SO THROWN OFF, AND THEN HE DOESN'T SAY CUT. 606 00:30:59,232 --> 00:31:05,071 SO I'M USED TO KEEP THE SCENE GOING IMPROV TILL THE DIRECTOR 607 00:31:05,154 --> 00:31:06,990 SAYS CUT, AND HE DOESN'T. 608 00:31:07,073 --> 00:31:11,619 SO HE STANDS NEXT TO US AND STARTS GIVING YOU INSTRUCTIONS 609 00:31:11,703 --> 00:31:13,329 AND I'M, LIKE, OH, I GUESS WE CUT. 610 00:31:13,413 --> 00:31:16,958 >> Stephen: THAT WOULD MAKE ME EXTRAORDINARILY NERVOUS. 611 00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:22,880 >> I WAS SO NERVOUS THE WHOLE TIME, I WAS, LIKE, WHEN IS THE 612 00:31:22,964 --> 00:31:23,923 CAMERA ON? 613 00:31:24,007 --> 00:31:24,799 >> Stephen: >> Stephen: "THE WHITE TIGER" 614 00:31:24,882 --> 00:31:26,009 IS IN SELECT THEATERS NOW AND PREMIERES ON 615 00:31:26,092 --> 00:31:28,303 NETFLIX THIS FRIDAY. 616 00:31:28,386 --> 00:31:29,512 PRIYANKA CHOPRA JONAS, EVERYBODY! 617 00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:32,015 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE CREATORS OF "IN AND OF ITSELF," 618 00:31:32,098 --> 00:31:36,019 DEREK DELGAUDIO AND FRANK OZ. 619 00:31:36,102 --> 00:31:40,106 ♪♪♪ 620 00:31:47,071 --> 00:31:51,951 ♪♪♪ 621 00:32:05,423 --> 00:32:14,807 ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, 622 00:32:15,099 --> 00:32:16,142 EVERYBODY. 623 00:32:16,225 --> 00:32:18,102 MY NEXT GUESTS ARE TWO INCREDIBLY TALENTED ARTISTS WHO 624 00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:21,522 ARE THE PERFORMER AND DIRECTOR OF THE NEW FILM "IN AND OF 625 00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:22,774 ITSELF." 626 00:32:22,857 --> 00:32:26,861 PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," DEREK DELGAUDIO AND FRANK OZ! 627 00:32:26,944 --> 00:32:27,612 HEY, GUYS! 628 00:32:27,695 --> 00:32:29,530 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE! 629 00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:30,031 >> HEY, STEPHEN. 630 00:32:30,114 --> 00:32:31,115 GREAT TO BE HERE. 631 00:32:31,199 --> 00:32:33,076 >> Stephen: NOW LITTLE CATCH-UP FOR THE AUDIENCE WHO 632 00:32:33,159 --> 00:32:36,871 DIDN'T SEE LAST TIME DEREK WAS ON TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO -- 633 00:32:36,954 --> 00:32:39,415 IT'S BEEN A WHILE NOW -- >> YEAH. 634 00:32:39,499 --> 00:32:42,043 >> Stephen: -- I CAME TO SEE THE SHOW THAT YOU CREATED AND 635 00:32:42,126 --> 00:32:49,926 THAT FRANK DIRECTED "IN AND OF ITSELF" AT THE DARRELL ROTH 636 00:32:50,009 --> 00:32:52,053 THEATER HERE IN NEW YORK. 637 00:32:52,136 --> 00:32:56,724 EVIE AND I WERE SO BLOWN AWAY BY IT THAT WE WERE EAGER TO HELP 638 00:32:56,808 --> 00:32:58,059 YOU MAKE IT INTO A FILM SO EVERYONE COULD SEE IT. 639 00:32:58,142 --> 00:33:03,022 I WANTED THIS THING NOT ONLY TO BE PRESERVED BUT FOR EVERYONE TO 640 00:33:03,106 --> 00:33:04,273 GET A CHANCE TO HAVE THE EXPERIENCE. 641 00:33:04,357 --> 00:33:09,612 YOU AND I DID NOT DO A VERY GOOD JOB OF EXPLAINING WHAT THAT SHOW 642 00:33:09,696 --> 00:33:12,740 WAS BECAUSE THERE'S SO MANY THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO GIVE 643 00:33:12,824 --> 00:33:13,533 AWAY. 644 00:33:13,616 --> 00:33:14,659 FRANK, I'M GOING TO HIT YOU HERE. 645 00:33:14,742 --> 00:33:18,037 CAN YOU DO A BETTER JOB OF EXPLAINING WHAT THIS MOVIE IS 646 00:33:18,121 --> 00:33:22,750 THAN WE DID IN EXPLAINING WHAT THAT PLAY IS? 647 00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:23,960 WHAT'S IT ABOUT? 648 00:33:24,043 --> 00:33:27,130 >> WELL, HERE'S THE THING -- I MEAN, IF I GIVE YOU MY OPINION 649 00:33:27,213 --> 00:33:31,050 OR MY FEELING OVERWHAT IT'S ABOUT, IT'S A BETRAYAL OF THE 650 00:33:31,134 --> 00:33:35,555 INTENT OF WHAT WE DID. 651 00:33:35,638 --> 00:33:37,390 >> Stephen: THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT. 652 00:33:37,473 --> 00:33:40,977 THAT IS WHY IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DESCRIBE THIS FILM OR THIS PLAY. 653 00:33:41,060 --> 00:33:45,773 FRANK, THANKS FOR STOPPING BY, EVERYBODY. 654 00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:47,567 DEREK, THANKS FOR BEING HERE. 655 00:33:47,650 --> 00:33:50,486 FRANK, ALWAYS A JOY TO SEE YOU. 656 00:33:50,570 --> 00:33:55,908 >> AND YET, WHAT, TO ME, WHAT IS VALUABLE FOR SOMEBODY WHO WANTS 657 00:33:55,992 --> 00:33:57,994 TO GO SEE SOMETHING IS THE MYSTERY OF IT AND THE INTRIGUE 658 00:33:58,077 --> 00:34:00,997 OF NOT KNOWING WHAT IT IS. 659 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:04,625 >> Stephen: I'M NOT GOING TO FIGHT YOU ON THAT ONE BECAUSE 660 00:34:04,709 --> 00:34:05,835 IT'S TRUE. 661 00:34:05,918 --> 00:34:09,964 THE PLAY WAS MYSTERIOUS, THIS MOVIE IS MYSTERIOUS AND IN SOME 662 00:34:10,047 --> 00:34:15,303 WAYS IT IS ABOUT THE MYSTERY OF IDENTITY, AND, DEREK, WHY WAS IT 663 00:34:15,386 --> 00:34:19,849 IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO CREATE A PIECE OF ART THAT WAS ABOUT 664 00:34:19,932 --> 00:34:20,475 IDENTITY? 665 00:34:20,558 --> 00:34:23,144 WHAT DID THAT MEAN TO YOU? 666 00:34:23,227 --> 00:34:27,231 >> I MEAN, I THINK, LIKE ANYONE, I STRUGGLE WITH WHO I AM AND 667 00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:31,903 WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO IN THIS WORLD AND FOUND MYSELF MAKING 668 00:34:31,986 --> 00:34:34,822 DECISIONS BASED ON WHAT I THOUGHT OTHER PEOPLE MIGHT 669 00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:38,618 EXPECT OF ME OR HOW THEY MIGHT SEE ME OR THE WORK THAT I DO, 670 00:34:38,701 --> 00:34:43,372 AND I DECIDED, INSTEAD OF LETTING THAT KIND OF AFFECT ME 671 00:34:43,456 --> 00:34:47,293 IN A WAY THAT WAS NEGATIVE, I DECIDED TO RUN TOWARDS THE FIRE 672 00:34:47,376 --> 00:34:52,006 AND MAKE SOMETHING THAT DIVES HEAD-FIRST INTO THAT PROBLEM AND 673 00:34:52,089 --> 00:34:54,258 MAKE A SHOW ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE AND BE SEEN AND SEEING 674 00:34:54,342 --> 00:34:56,219 OTHERS, MOSTLY. 675 00:34:56,302 --> 00:34:58,471 >> Stephen: I MEAN, THE EXPERIENCE THAT I HAVE WATCHING 676 00:34:58,554 --> 00:35:07,146 IT IS THE GRATITUDE OF -- WELL, AN ARTIST TALKING ABOUT THE 677 00:35:07,230 --> 00:35:10,858 STRUGGLE TO BE SEEN AND ALSO THE FAILURE SO OFTEN AS TO SEE OTHER 678 00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:14,821 PEOPLE AS THEY TRULY ARE. 679 00:35:14,904 --> 00:35:19,408 AND BOTH OF YOU, IN THAT WAY, AS BOTH OF YOU SAID, IDENTITY 680 00:35:19,492 --> 00:35:23,287 ITSELF IS AN ILLUSION, AND THIS MOVIE AND THE PLAY ACTUALLY 681 00:35:23,371 --> 00:35:26,415 TACKLES THE CHALLENGE OF TALKING ABOUT THAT, WHICH, AS WE'VE 682 00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:29,836 PROVEN JUST NOW, IS NOT ALWAYS EASY. 683 00:35:29,919 --> 00:35:33,339 BUT BOTH OF YOU HAVE KIND OF AN UNEASY RELATIONSHIP AT TIMES 684 00:35:33,422 --> 00:35:36,050 WITH HOW OTHER PEOPLE IDENTIFY YOU. 685 00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:42,723 YOU KNOW, DEREK, SOMEONE MIGHT CALL YOU A MAGICIAN, OR, FRANK, 686 00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:43,683 SOMEONE MIGHT PIGEON HOLE YOU FROM YOUR WORK WITH THE MUPPETS 687 00:35:43,766 --> 00:35:45,434 AS A PUPPETEER. 688 00:35:45,518 --> 00:35:53,734 WHY IS THAT UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN PEOPLE PUT IT ON YOU. 689 00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:54,902 >> BECAUSE IT'S LIMITING. 690 00:35:54,986 --> 00:36:07,915 WHEN I'M CALLED A PUPPETEER OR DEREK CALLED A MAGICIAN, IT'S 691 00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:12,086 THE THE PERCEPTION OF THE PUPPPUPPETEER AND WHAT IT MEANS 692 00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:13,254 B A PUPPETEER. 693 00:36:13,337 --> 00:36:19,677 AND THE PERCEPTION IS THEY PERCEIVE IT TO BE ONE THING, AND 694 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:23,097 THAT HAPPENS TO BE ALWAYS STEREOTYPICAL, AND THAT 695 00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:26,559 STEREOTYPICAL VERSION OF WHAT THAT AMERICAN IS ALWAYS 696 00:36:26,642 --> 00:36:33,107 LIMITING, AND THAT'S AGAINST THE LAYERS AND COMPLEXITIES AS HUMAN 697 00:36:33,190 --> 00:36:34,942 BEINGS AND THAT'S WHAT BOTHERS ME. 698 00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:38,112 >> Stephen: AND, DEREK, WHAT IS THE HESITANCE YOU HAVE WITH 699 00:36:38,195 --> 00:36:42,283 THE LABEL OF MAGICIAN? 700 00:36:42,366 --> 00:36:48,247 >> IT'S ABOUT, I GUESS, LEGIBILITY FOR THE WORK, AND 701 00:36:48,331 --> 00:36:53,336 THAT WORD "MAGIC" OR "MAGICIAN" IT REALLY IS POTENT, AND A LOT 702 00:36:53,419 --> 00:36:56,422 OF IMAGERY COMES INTO ONE'S HEAD. 703 00:36:56,505 --> 00:36:58,841 I DON'T KNOW EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS. 704 00:36:58,925 --> 00:37:00,635 BUT, YES, THERE'S THAT. 705 00:37:00,718 --> 00:37:05,181 BUT EVEN THE BEST VERSION OF IT STILL PREVENTS PEOPLE FROM 706 00:37:05,264 --> 00:37:11,145 ACTUALLY SEEING OR HEARING WHAT I'M TRYING TO PUT IN FRONT OF 707 00:37:11,228 --> 00:37:16,651 THEM, BECAUSE EVEN IF IT ISN'T A PEJORATIVE, IT'S STILL -- IT 708 00:37:16,734 --> 00:37:19,528 PUTS SOMETHING IN THEIR MIND THAT SAYS WHAT THE CONTEXT IS 709 00:37:19,612 --> 00:37:22,657 ABOUT, THAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DECEIVE YOU, AND THIS IS ABOUT 710 00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:25,701 ME FOOLING YOU, AND THAT'S THE SOCIAL CONSTRUCT THAT WE HAVE, 711 00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:29,163 AND THAT'S NOT WHAT THE WORK IS ABOUT FOR ME AT ALL. 712 00:37:29,246 --> 00:37:32,541 AND, SO, I GUESS JUST KIND OF TRYING TO GET THEM TO SEE IT 713 00:37:32,625 --> 00:37:38,464 WITH FRESH EYES AND NOT HAVE THAT PRECONCEIVED NOTION OF WHAT 714 00:37:38,547 --> 00:37:42,176 THEY'RE GOING INTO IS ONE STEP, YOU KNOW -- IT'S THE BEGINNING 715 00:37:42,259 --> 00:37:45,388 OF THE PROCESS, GOING TO THIS CLEAN, NOT NECESSARILY ASSUMING 716 00:37:45,471 --> 00:37:49,767 WHAT YOU THINK THIS IS OR WHO I AM, IS PROBABLY THE BEST WAY TO 717 00:37:49,850 --> 00:37:50,893 ENTER THIS EXPERIENCE. 718 00:37:50,977 --> 00:37:54,021 >> AND THERE'S A POSITIVE I THINK, STEPHEN, ABOUT PEOPLE 719 00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:56,357 THINKING IT WAS MAGIC BECAUSE THEY COME -- THEY CAME TO A 720 00:37:56,440 --> 00:38:00,361 THEATER THINKING IT WAS MAGIC, AND IT TURNS OUT MAGIC WAS THE 721 00:38:00,444 --> 00:38:05,157 TROJAN HORSE BECAUSE, AFTER 15 MINUTES OF SAYING, WHOA, WAIT A 722 00:38:05,241 --> 00:38:08,577 SECOND, THIS IS A LOT MORE THAN I THOUGHT, AND THEY FORGET ABOUT 723 00:38:08,661 --> 00:38:13,541 IT AND THEY'RE MOVED TORE REASONS THEY DON'T -- FOR 724 00:38:13,624 --> 00:38:15,209 REASONS THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW. 725 00:38:15,292 --> 00:38:17,169 >> Stephen: THAT IS ONE TO HAVE THE STARTLING THINGS ABOUT 726 00:38:17,253 --> 00:38:21,215 THIS IS IT'S STORYTELLING, THESE ARE TRUE STORIES ABOUT YOUR LIFE 727 00:38:21,298 --> 00:38:26,012 THAT ARE ILLUMINATED THROUGH THESE ILLUSIONS THAT YOU DO. 728 00:38:26,095 --> 00:38:29,724 BUT THESE ARE DEEPLY AFFECTING STORIES AND, FOR LACK OF A 729 00:38:29,807 --> 00:38:34,103 BETTER WORD, THE ACTUAL MAGIC IS GOING ON INSIDE OF US ABOUT HOW 730 00:38:34,186 --> 00:38:37,898 WE PERCEIVE YOU AND HOW ANYONE WATCHING THE FILM PERCEIVES EACH 731 00:38:37,982 --> 00:38:40,234 OTHER OR THE AUDIENCE IN THE THEATER WHERE YOU'RE SEEING IT 732 00:38:40,317 --> 00:38:41,444 SHOT. 733 00:38:41,527 --> 00:38:49,368 EVIE AND I ARE SO PROUD TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH BOTH OF YOU, AND 734 00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:52,413 THIS IS POSSIBLY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING THAT I HAVE HAD 735 00:38:52,496 --> 00:38:56,417 ANY PART IN MAKING, IN THAT SMALL WAY THAT WE WERE ABLE TO 736 00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:57,585 HELP YOU. 737 00:38:57,668 --> 00:39:02,298 AND AS I ALWAYS DO TO PEOPLE WATCHING AT HOME, I AM URGING 738 00:39:02,381 --> 00:39:08,429 YOU TO GO SEE IT BECAUSE I THINK IT REALLY IS A FILM OF THIS 739 00:39:08,512 --> 00:39:14,727 MOMENT, AND IT IS A REMINDER THAT WE CAN ALL BE A BETTER 740 00:39:14,810 --> 00:39:18,272 COMMUNITY, A BETTER COUNTRY, A BETTER HUMANITY, IF WE JUST SEE 741 00:39:18,355 --> 00:39:22,068 EACH OTHER, AND THAT'S THE TRUE MAGIC OF WHAT DEREK AND FRANK 742 00:39:22,151 --> 00:39:26,697 HAVE CREATED HERE IS THAT IT OPENS OUR EYES TO EACH OTHER AND 743 00:39:26,781 --> 00:39:30,451 TO OURSELVES, AND THAT'S A LIBERATING FEELING. 744 00:39:30,534 --> 00:39:32,411 >> AND THIS IS THE TIME FOR THAT, ACTUALLY. 745 00:39:32,495 --> 00:39:38,959 >> Stephen: "IN AND OF ITSELF" PREMIERES TOMORROW ON HULU. 746 00:39:39,043 --> 00:39:40,127 DEREK DELGAUDIO AND FRANK OZ, EVERYBODY. 747 00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:41,837 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 748 00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:53,974 >> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY. 749 00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:55,476 JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. 750 00:39:55,559 --> 00:39:57,978 GOOD NIGHT. 751 00:39:58,062 --> 00:40:01,482 ♪♪♪ >> 752 00:40:01,565 --> 00:40:03,651 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 753 00:40:03,734 --> 00:40:04,402 access.wgbh.org Stephen: BIANCA. 754 00:40:06,195 --> 00:40:06,487 BIANCA. 755 00:40:06,570 --> 00:40:07,863 SHE'S GONE. 756 00:40:07,947 --> 00:40:08,155 BIANCA. 757 00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:08,572 >> HI. 758 00:40:08,656 --> 00:40:09,156 >> Stephen: HEY. 759 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:11,283 I SCARED HER. 760 00:40:11,367 --> 00:40:16,997 NO SUDDEN MOVES.