>> PLEASE STAY HOME SIEP BULL SUNDAY, THAT'S THE WORD FROM
DR. ANTHONY FAUCI SAYING NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE AROUND ANYONE
NOT IN YOUR BUBBLE.
>> THE TELEPHONE BUCCANEERS-- THE TAMPA BAY
BUCCANEERS HAVE A SECOND SUPER BOWL TIGHT NELL FRANCHISE
HISTORY.
>> AND TOM BRADY DOESN'T PASS THE TORCH QUITE YET TO MAHOMES,
DOES HE.
>> Jon: WELL IT'S TIME TONIGHT.
♪ THE GAME IS DONE.
♪ IT WAS A HARD FOUGHT BOTTLE AND TAMPA BAY WON.
♪ I THROUGH A BIG PARTY BUT NO ONE COULD COME.
♪ NOW I'M STUCK WITH, SOME FRIENDS STAY HOMED TONIGHT.
♪ I'M READY.
♪ I WAS READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL.
♪ I GOT.
♪ THE FOOTBALL.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
>> YOU CAN DO THIS.
YOU KNOW DAD HOW WHENEVER WE'RE WATCHING FOOTBALL TOGETHER I
ALWAYS SAY HEY, YOU WANT A BEER?
WELL, THE WORDS I REALLY WANT TO AND A BEER?
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
>> I LOVE YOU DAD.
>> IT'S "A LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT SUPER BOWL
SPECIAL.
STEPHEN WELCOMES ROBERT DOINY-- DOWNEY, JR.
MUSICAL GUEST METALLICA AND STEPHEN GIVES THE COLBERT
QUESTIONERT TO TIFFANY HAD DISH.
AND JON BATTISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
NOW LIVE ON STAGE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER, IT'S STEPHEN
COLBERT.
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME TO A VERY SPECIAL LATE
SHOW.
MI YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT AND MI SO EXCITED TO BE HERE BECAUSE
WE'RE COMING TO YOU ON A RARE SUNDAY NIGHT LATE SHOW AFTER
WHAT MANY HAVE CALLED THE MOST SUPER OF ALL BOWLS, THE SUPER
BOWL.
NOW, THERE YOU GO, YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED, THIS LITTLE GUY IN OUR
OPENING CREDITS, THAT IS OUR EXCLUSIVE DANCING FOOTBALL
ROBOT, BLEEP-BLORP.
THAT'S ENOUGH, MY METALLIC FRIEND.
HIT THE WORK BENCH.
THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.
ANYWAY, IF YOU ARE A FOOTBALL FAN, AND FOR THE NEXT HOUR, YOU
BET I AM, YOU PROBABLY KNOW THAT ANOTHER NETWORK OUT THERE HAS A
SIMILAR DANCING ROBOT MASCOT.
DOESN'T MATTER WHO HAD ONE FIRST ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT THEY
HAVE VERY GOOD LAUERS.
SO WE HAD TO MAKE OUR OWN OWN ROBOT ON A BUDGET WITH SOME
CARDBOARD BOXES AND DRYER TUBING.
AND TONIGHT BLEEP-BLORP WILL APPEAR ANY TIME I SAY THE WORDS
SUPER BOWL.
HEY, THERE HE GOES.
THAT HE-- JIMMY, THAT'S A LITTLE LOUD, A LITTLE INTENSE.
CAN WE TAKE THE ENERGY DOWN JUST A LITTLE BIT, JUST A NOTCH?
OKAY, THAT MIGHT BE A LITTLE TOO MELLOW, CAN YOU JUST SPLIT THE
DIFF.
OKAY, THAT'S-- THANKS, THANKS BLEEP-BLORP, JIMMY, PLEASE.
THANKS.
LIKE EVERYTHING DURING THE PANDEMIC, THE GAME WAS A LOT
DIFFERENT THIS YEAR.
THERE WERE CARDBOARD CUT OUTS IN THE STANDS, PLAYERS HAD TO
QUARANTINE AND INSTEAD OF GATORADE THE WINNING COACH WAS
DOUSED WITH HAND SANITIZER.
THE PANDEMIC'S ALSO BEEN HARD ON TONIGHT'S HOST CITY TAMPA,
ESPECIALLY ON ONE OF ITS BIGGEST INDUSTRIES, STRIP CLUBS TAM
HAS-- TAMPA HAS BEEN CALLED THE JIGGLE JOINT CAPITAL OF THE
COUNTRY.
COW.
THAT'S QUITE A A NAME, WHAT THE HELL, NEW YORK, WE'RE THE BIG
APPLE WHEN WE COULD HAVE BEEN THE BIG JIGGLY.
THANK AS LOT, DE BLASIO.
NOW USUALLY THE STRIPIN INDUSTRY RAKES IN A TON OF DOUGH DURING
THE SUPER BOWL.
PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT TWERK.
I DON'T-- I DON'T HAVE ANY SINGER ELS.
-- SINGLES.
GO AWAY.
AS I WAS SAYING, THE BIG GAME IS USUALLY A BOOM TIME FOR THE BOOM
BOOM ROOMS BUT DUE TO THE PANDEMIC, TAMPA'S STRIP CLUBS
HAD TO TAKE SPECIAL PRECAUTIONS LIKE ENFORCING STRICT MASK
RULES, HIRING EXTRA SECURITY, AND IN AN ATTEMPT TO CREATE MORE
SPACE FOR PATRONS, ERECTING A TENT IN THE PARKING LOT.
EVIDENTLY, THE PARKING LOT IS WHAT PEOPLE IN TAMPA CALL THEIR
PANTS.
THE PRECAUTIONS WEREN'T JUST LIMITED TO CUSTOMERS, THROUGHOUT
THE WEEKEND, DANCERS HAD THEIR TEMPERATURES CHECKED REGULARLY
OKAY, IT IS A GOOD IDEA BUT IT MIGHT KILL THE MOOD.
PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE, SHY CHEYENNE SHE IS HOT, SERIOUSLY
SHE HAS A RAGEK TEMPERATURE, LET'S GET HER OFF THE STAGE
PLEASE, ANYWAY, BACK TO THE SUPER BOWL, I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T
MEAN TO SAY THE TRIGGER FACE THAT TIME.
JIMMY, CAN WE JUST KILL IT.
>> KILL MODE INITIATED.
>> Stephen: BLEERP BLORP!
NO, NO KILLING, GO AWAY.
ANYWAY, ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE BIG FOOTBALL GAME WE
WATCHED TONIGHT IS THE PLAYER INTRODUCTIONS WHEN ONE BY ONE WE
GET TO MEET THE >> PATRICK MAHOMES II, TEXAS
TECH UNIVERSITY.
DAMIEN WILLIAMS, MAYER MASON HIGH SCHOOL.
TYREEK HILL, PEARSON, GEORGIA.
SAMMY WATKINS, CLEMSON.
MECOLE HARDMAN, UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA.
TRAVIS KELCE, CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, OHIO.
>> Stephen: YOU SEE?
GREAT, YOU LEARN SO MUCH, LIKE THEIR NAME, THEIR COLLEGE, AND
THE MAXIMUM POSSIBLE SIR COME FERENCE OF A HUMAN NECK.
BUT I REALLY FEEL LIKE THESE INTROS LACK THE PIZAZZ THAT THE
PLAYERS IN THE BIG GAME DESERVE.
AND I THOUGHT WHAT IF FAMOUS DIRECTORS SHOT THESE INSTEAD.
CAN YOU IMAGINE?
WELL, IF YOU CAN, STOP IT.
THIS IS TV.
WE DO THE IMAGINING FOR YOU.
JIM?
>> "A LATE SHOW" PRESENTS: "GREAT DIRECTORS
DIRECT THE PLAYER INTROS."
>> EVERYBODY WAS DOING PLAYER INTRODUCTIONS.
THERE WAS VICTOR CRUZ.
>> HOW YA DOIN', UMASS.
>> MARKUS KUHN.
WE CALLED HIM "THE STEAMROLLER," ON ACCOUNT OF HE'S FROM
MANNHEIM.
>> GUTEN TAG.
>> JONNY CASILLAS AND HIS GUYS.
>> UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN.
>> LORENZO CARTER, THE KID.
>> UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA.
>> AND THERE WAS FOLORUNSU FATUKASI, ALSO THE KID, ON
ACCOUNTS THAT THEY WAS BOTH THE KIDS.
>> UCONN.
>> AND BENNY TWO-TIMES, WHO GOT THAT NICKNAME 'CAUSE HE SAID
EVERYTHING TWICE LIKE.
>> NOTRE DAME, NOTRE DAME.
>> OBSERVE BENNETT JACKSON.
THE POSITION HE PLAYS IS SAFETY, BUT NOTHING CAN BE CONSIDERED
SAFE IN A VAST, INDIFFERENT UNIVERSE WHERE THE STARS BLINDLY
RUN.
TO CONSIDER ONESELF SAFETY IS TO LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DESTINY.
UNIVERSITY OF NOTRE DAME.
>> LET ME TAKE A WILD GUESS, HERE.
YOU'RE BRETT, RIGHT?
>> NO, ACTUALLY.
I'M FOLORUNSO FATAKASI.
UCONN.
>> CHECK OUT THE BIG BRAIN ON BRETT!
>> DID YOU MEAN BENNET JACKSON, UNIVERSITY OF NOTRE DAME?
>> I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A ( BLEEP ) THING.
>> OKAY.
>> YOU WERE SAYING?
>> AS I WAS SAYING, I'M FOLO-- UCONN.
>> I'M JONATHAN CASILLAS!
UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN!
♪ ♪ ♪ >> ALL THE FOOTBALLERS GATHERED
IN PREPARATION OF FOR THE FIRST OF WHAT WAS SURE TO BE MANY
QUARTERS.
THERE WAS VICTOR CRUZ, THE ENIGMATIC WIDE RECEIVER.
LORENZO CARTER, THE ICONOCLASTIC LINEBACKER.
CARTER LOVED NOTHING MORE THAN CHASING A QUARTERBACK.
HE HAS BEEN ONE OF THE GIANTS' GO TO PASS RUSHERS.
AND NEXT SEASON, HE'S HOPING TO RUSH MORE.
MARKUS KUHN, THE ECCENTRIC DEFENSIVE TACKLE.
>> I AM NOT "ECCENTRIC."
>> THE "DEFENSIVE" DEFENSIVE TACKLE.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> OH, HOWDY BIG FELLA!
MARKUS KHUN, N.C. STATE!
>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
MY GUESTS ARE ROBERT DOWNEY JR. AND TIFFANY HADDISH.
BUT WHEN WE RETURN, "A LATE SHOW" COMES TO THE RESCUE OF ONE
SMALL BUSINESS A SUPER BUMP, STICK AROUND, A LOT MORE OF THE
LATE SHOW'S SUPER BOWL SPECIAL.
JIMMY, JIMMY, PLEASE.
PLEASE, I'M A MARRIED MAN.
I DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT.
>> "A LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT SPONSORED BY PROGRESSIVE
INSURANCE.
SAVE WHEN YOU BUNDLE AUTO, HOME OR MOTORCYCLE INSURANCE.
VISIT PROGRESSIVE.COM.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."
LET'S SAY HELL TO JON BATISTE.
WHAT AN AMAZING GAME.
>> Jon: IT'S HIS TORIC, IT'S INCREDIBLE, WHAT A GAME.
>> Stephen: I'M STILL ON A HIGH FROM THAT.
YOU KNOW THAT ONE PLAY?
THAT-- THAT GAME CHANGER?
>> Jon: A HARKS OF COURSE.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE INSTANT REPLAY RIGHT LEER OF THAT.
THERE YOU GO.
LOOK AT THE FOOT WORK.
LOOK AT THE EXPLOSIVE SPEED.
>> Jon: LOOK AT THAT CIRCULAR MOTION.
>> Stephen: YOU ONLY GET THAT IN THE BIG SHOW, IS THAT WHAT
YOU CALL T THE BIG SHOW.
NO ONE CALLS IT THE BIG SHOW.
WE DO NOW.
>> Jon: THAT'S CALLED-- .
>> Stephen: I THINK THAT IS CALLED DOSEE DOE.
>> Jon: YEAH, THE OLD PLAY BOOK.
>> Stephen: RIGHT, JON, YOU HAVE ANY FOOTBALL MUSIC,
ANYTHING PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR?
>> Jon: OH YEAH, I WAS GOING TO PLAY THAT, BUT WE HAVE TO
CLEAR THAT ONE.
HA!
♪ >> Stephen: JON BATISTE,
EVERYBODY, THANK YOU, JON.
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: OF COURSE OF COURSE, TONIGHT WASN'T JUST
ABOUT WATCHING FOOTBALL, DRINKING BEER AND EATING CHIPS.
IT WAS ALSO ABOUT WATCHING COMMERCIALS THAT SELL US BEER
AND CHIPS.
NOW, I LOVE OUR ADVERTISERS-- AS IT SAYS IN MY CONTRACT.
BUT THESE BIG COMPANIES AREN'T THE ONES WHO NEED SUPPORT RIGHT
NOW.
IT'S SMALL BUSINESSES OUT THERE THAT HAVE BEEN HURT THE MOST IN
THIS PANDEMIC.
BUT OF COURSE A SMALL BUSINESS COULD NEVER AFFORD THE MILLIONS
OF DOLLARS IT WOULD COST TO PRODUCE AND RUN AN AD ON CBS
TONIGHT.
WHICH IS WHY WE HERE AT "A LATE SHOW" HAVE DECIDED TO PICK ONE
AND JUST GIVE IT TO THEMMENT TONIGHT AN ACTUAL SMALL BUSINESS
THAT HAS BEEN STRUGGLING DURING THE PANDEMIC WILL GET THEIR VERY
OWN, VERY REAL HIGH OCTANE SUPERSUNDAY AD.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( JET ENGINE )
>> THERE'S A SPECIAL BREED THAT HUNGERS FOR ADVENTURE.
AN ESCAPE INTO THE UNKNOWN.
WHEN YOU'RE READY FOR THAT NEXT CHAPTER, THERE'S ONLY ONE PLACE
TO GO.
>> FOGGY PINE BOOKS IN BOONE, NORTH CAROLINA!
>> COME ON DOWN TO FOGGY PINE BOOKS ON KING STREET IN BOONE
NORTH CAROLINA, WHERE EVERY BOOK IS AN ADVENTURE WAITING TO
HAPPEN.
THEY'VE GOT ADVENTURES THAT TAKE YOU TO SPACE.
ADVENTURES THAT TAKE YOU BACK IN TIME.
AND ADVENTURES THAT TAKE ONLY 15 MINUTES TO MAKE A CHUTNEY
GRILLED CHEESE.
AND FOR THOSE READY TO PUSH THE ENVELOPE TO THE LIMIT, FOGGY
PINE OFFERS A MYSTERY BOX.
OFFERS A DRIVE THRU WINDOW.
SO YOU CAN PRETEND YOU'RE BUYING FAST FOOD.
THAT'S A GOOD BOOK.
MMM.
THAT'S A GOOD BOOK!
DON'T LIVE IN BOONE, NORTH CAROLINA?
WELL, FOGGY PINE BOOKS HAS A SECOND LOCATION CALLED "THE
INTERNET."
WHICH MEANS WHEREVER YOU ARE YOU'RE JUST A CLICK AWAY FROM
THE PINE.
JUST LISTEN TO THIS SATISFIED CUSTOMER.
>> FOGGY PINE HAS SOMETHING FOR BEST COLLECTION SOMEBODY --
SELECTION IN ALL OF BOONS BACKS IN ALL OF MY INTERESTS SUMP AS
WORLD WAR II, AND ALSO BOOKS ABOUT THE EVENTS FROM 1939 TO
1945.
THANK YOU, FOGGEE PINE.
>> FOGGY PINE BOOKS IN BOON NORTH CAROLINA.
>> IS DO YOU HAVE SKYDIVING FOR DUMMIES?
>> FOGGY PINE BOOKS ON BETWEEN THE BAPTIST CHURCH AND THE BOONE
SALOON, FOGGY PINE, FOGGY PINE, FOGGY PINE.
>> YOUR ADVENTURE AWAITS.
>> Stephen: BIG THANKS TO SAM ELLIOTT AND TOM HANKS FOR
HELPING US OUT.
NOW GO BY BOOKS FROM FOGGY PINE BOOKS.
USE COUPON CODE, THERE IS NO COUPON CODE, FOR AN EXTRA 0% OFF
YOUR PURCHASE, TELL THEM STEPHEN SENT YOU.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ROBERT DOWNEY, JR.
>> "A LATE SHOW" PRESENTS PROPOSED NFL RULE CHANGES FROM
THE PLAYERS IN THE SUPER BOWL.
>> INSTEAD OF SHOULDER PADS UNDER OUR JERSEY WE SHOULD HAVE
WATER.
THAT WOULD MAKE NORAH SOME REPLAY.
>> I FEEL LIKE WE ARE BODY SHAMING HERE.
>> YOU KNOW PITCAM?
WHAT ARE THOSE.
>> THIS HAS BEEN "A LATE SHOW PRESENTS PROPOSED NFL RULE
CHANGES FROM THE PLAYERS IN THE SUPER BOWL.
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A FANTASTIC ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM TROPIC
THUNDER, SHERLOCK HOLMES, AND OF COURSE AS IRONMAN.
PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW" ROBERT DOWNEY, JR.
HELLO, ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. >> MR. COLBERT, GOOD LATE
EVENING TO YOU.
>> GOOD EVENING TO SEE YOU TOO.
I'M SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU ON THE SHOW.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO INTERVIEW YOU BEFORE.
THOUGH WE DID MEET BRIEFLY.
>> AT THE GRAMMYS.
>> Stephen: THAT IS EXACTLY RIGHT, AT THE GRAMMYS.
>> YEP.
>> Stephen: I WASN'T A HOST BUT I HAD DONE THE FIRST BIT AND
I AM WALKING BACKSTAGE.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND WHO IS WALKING TOWARD ME.
>> LET'S NOT KID OURSELVES.
WE BOTH STOPPED FLAT IN OUR TRACKS, SEPARATED AT BIRTH, LONG
LOST BROTHERS, DOPPELGANGER-- IT WAS LIKE LOOKING IN A MIRROR,
YOU FROZE.
>> Stephen: I AM A FAN, I AM A FAN.
IT WAS LIKE WE-- OH WAIT, ONE OF US HAS TO DIE NOW, THIS IS ONE
OF THOSE CLONE MOVIES, NO, SHOOT HIM, NO, SHOOT HIM.
FOR THE PEOPLE AT HOME WHO DO NOT KNOW HOW SERIOUSLY I TAKE
THIS, IS THAT I HAVE SEVERAL TIMES, I'M A FAN, NOT ONLY OF
YOU IN GENERAL BUT OF COURSE OF YOUR TONY STARK.
THIS IS ME IN 2014, I DID A WHOLE SHOW AS YOU.
AND-- IT FEELS GOOD TO BE ROBERT DOWNEY, JR.
>> OH, I HAVE SEEN THAT, THAT IS PROBABLY-- I HAVE BEEN SENT
CLIPS FROM THAT SO OFTEN.
AND I HAVE SEEN T AND BY THE WAY, WELL DONE.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, THANK3 YOU VERY MUCH.
I ACTUALLY, I DID IT AGAIN THIS SUMMER.
I ACTUALLY, I DID IT, ONE THIS SUMMER AND YOU PAID ME A GREAT
COMPLIMENT.
THERE I AM AS YOU AGAIN, ACTUALLY DID A LITTLE VIDEO OF
ME IMITATING YOUR TONY.
AND YOU SAID WE WELCOME OUR NEWEST AVENGER WITH OPEN ARMS.
WELL, OPEN ARMS, BUT SIX FEET AWAY.
IS THAT OFFICIAL?
IS THAT OFFICIAL.
I AM AN AVENGER NOW?
>> WELL, I MEAN, IF-- DO YOU WANT TO GET INTO IT, BECAUSE I
HAVE BEEN THINK BEING THIS A LOT.
>> Stephen: I MEAN WHAT ARE THE RESPONSIBILITIES?
>> WELL, HERE IS THE THING, THERE IS AN OPENING, RIGHT, COBY
SMOLDERS PLAYS AGENT HILL, SOMETIMES COMMANDER HILL.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> I THOUGHT IF HE NEEDED A WEEKEND ASSISTANT, RIGHT, CAP
COLBERT, YOU HAVE A BASEBALL CAP AND WHEN YOU WEAR T YOU PBSSESS
THE SUPERPOWER THAT NO MAN HAS, YOU CAN MULTITASESK AND YOU CAN
TAKE CARE OF ALL HER STUFF.
ANYWAY, I AM-- IT WILL GO UP TO THE TREE.
>> Stephen: JUST ASK, WHATEVER, JUST A WALK-ON,
WHATEVER, I WOULD BE VERY GRATEFUL.
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
NOW IN YOUR OPINION, WHAT, HOW WOULD TONY STARK CURE COVID?
WHAT WOULD HE DO?
>> NANOBOTS, YOU KNOW, THE USUAL STUFF, NANOBOT WAS BORDERS, IT
WOULD BE SOME-- .
>> Stephen: BUT THEN THE NANOBOTS WOULD BECOME SELF-AWARE
BECAUSE YOU PUT AN AI IN THEMING AND HOW DO YOU FIGHT THAT.
>> YOU GOT TO, THAT IS YOU WILLTRON.
WE GET JAMES SPADER.
JAMES SPADER IS GOING TO CURE COVID.
AND WE BOTH KNOW IT.
>> Stephen: SURE BUT IT IS HIS CHARACTER FROM THE BLACK LIST
THAT DOES IT, CUZ THAT GUY-- COVID IS NOT GOING TO MISS
WITH HIM.
>> IF HE WAS WEARING A CAP, NOW WE HAVE CROSSOVER DREAMS.
I'M PITCHING YOU AND SPADER AS ALTERNATES ON COBY SMOLDERS
DESK.
RIGHT.
>> Jon: CROSSPLATFORM SYNERGY.
THAT IS WHAT THIS-- NOW YOU, FOR ANYONE OUT THERE WHO HASN'T SEEN
"END GAME" SPOILER ALERT, TONY STARK STAVE SAICHS THE WORLD AND
THE UNIVERSAL, REALLY.
AND NOW DON'T MAKE ME CRY.
DON'T MAKE ME CRY.
I JUST WATCHED IT LAST WEEKEND.
AND WATERWORKS.
I CAN'T HELP IT.
IT IT TRULY IS, I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT A TOWERING ACHIEVEMENT
THOSE TEN YEARS, HOWEVER, THE THOUSAND MOVIES BUT TEN YEARS.
>> IT IS 20 SOMETHING FILMS OVER A DECADE.
BUT THAT IS THE THING, AND THE GLORY OF IT IT, IS IT REALLY IS
THE FIRST TIME THAT YOU HAVE BEEN ABLE TO BUILD UP AN
EXPECTATION OVER A DECADE WITH AN AUDIENCE THAT IS ALSO GROWING
UP WITH THE PROPERTY.
I MEAN YOU KNOW STAR WARS, THEY HAD A BIG GAP, AND SO THEY HAD
SOME CATCHING UP TO DO.
AND THEN AND NOW THEY ARE KIND OF IN A GREAT PLACE.
BUT IT IS JUST THAT SWEET BUTTON.
BUT I WILL TELL YOU, WHAT DO THEY SAY, HAIR CLUB PRESIDENT
BUT ALSO A MEMBER.
THE GREATEST THING FOR ME, BECAUSE AS A FELLOW, I LOVE THIS
STUFF.
I GEEK OUT OVER IT.
WAS I GOT TO EXPERIENCE IT BY PLAYING IT, YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.
>> AND IT WAS JUST UNFORGETTABLE.
>> Stephen: WELL NOW, YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO SAVER THE WORLD IN
REALITY.
YOU HAVE CREATED SOMETHING CALLED THE FOOTPRINT COALITION.
WHAT IS THAT?
WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO DO WITH IT?
>> WELL, IN SHORT, IMAGINE A TRIPTIC, THREE PICTURES, ONE IS
A NONPROFIT WHICH IS FOR GRANT MAKING AND RESEARCH.
A MEDIA VEHICLE IN THE CENTER WHICH IS JUST SAYING THAT WE CAN
SUPERCHARGE OUR EFFORTS BY DOING CONTENT ABOUT EMERGING
TECHNOLOGIES.
AND THEN MOST RECENTLY AT DAVOS WE LAUNCHED SEVERAL FUNDS THE
FAT PRINT COALITION VENTURES WHICH IS A WAY TO SHOW THAT OUR
SKIN IS IN IT AND HELP SCALE TECHNOLOGIES FOR THESE EMERGING
COMPANIES.
>> Stephen: HAVE I NEVER BEEN TO DAVOS, IS IT NICE?
>> NEITHER HAVE I BUT I PUT A WATERCOLOR OF A CHALET NEXT TO
ME.
I WOULD LIKE TO GO NEXT YEAR.
>> Stephen: I WOULD LIKE TO GO ANYWHERE NEXT YEAR.
>> NEXT YEAR I'M GOING TO DAVOS AND COLBERT AND I WILL EXACT MY
REVENGE.
TELL YOU WHAT YOU THINK.
>> Stephen: YOU SENT ME SOME THINGS ASSOCIATED WITH YOUR NEW
VENTURE.
I GOT A COUPLE OF THINGS HERE.
I KNOW WHAT THIS IS, THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST-- SUBSTANCES IN THE
WORLD RIGHT HERE.
THIS IS TOILET PAPER.
I KNOW WHAT YOU DO WITH THIS.
THIS IS CALLED CLOUD PAPER.
>> LET'S DO IT TOGETHER IT IS TREEFREE IT IS MADE FROM BAMBOO,
BAMBOO ABSORBS MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF CARBON DURING ITS GROWTH AND
IT GENERATES AT MINIMUM 30% LESS GREENHOUSE GASES.
AND I WILL TELL YOU SOMETHING, MY MRS.-- ISN'T THAT NICE.
>> Stephen: THIS ISN'T NORMAL-- THIS IS NORMALLY WHERE
I PUT IT TOO, IT'S VERY-- OH, YEAH.
>> IT SMELLS GOOD, IT'S SOFT TO THE TOUCH.
THIS IS THE THING, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SACRIFICE QUALITY FOR
SUSTAIN ABILITY AND THEY REALLY FIGURED IT OUT.
>> Stephen: IT IS INCREDIBLY COMFORTABLE.
THIS LOOKS LIKE I COULD MAKE COCOA WITH THIS, WHAT IS THAT?
>> WELL, THAT IS AN INSECT-BASED PREMIUM PROTEIN, MOLETOR, MALE
WORM LARVAE, THIS IS FOR FERTILIZER AND AS YOU HAVE
THERE, THIS IS A POWDER-DERIVED FROM THE MEALWORM AND AN INSECT
PROTEIN, JUST APPROVED BY THE EU FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT JUST GETTING ME TO EAT DIRT, ARE YOU?
>> NO, MAN, I WOULDN'T PLAY YOU, BRO.
WE'RE LIKE ONE ENTITY NOW.
>> Stephen: IF THIS IS PROTEIN T IS ESSENTIALLY TASTELESS, JUST
A PROTEIN SUPPLEMENT, I COULD PUT THIS IN A SMOOTH
YEAR-- SMOOTHIE OR SOMETHING.
>> I'M TELLING YOU, YEP, AND YOU WILL BE MAKING ALL KINDS OF
STUFF OUT OF IT.
AND BY THE WAY, THE MAKING OF IT IS SEVERELY REDUCING THE AMOUNT
OF EMISSIONS IT TAKES.
IT IS A INNOVATION JUST IN, WE'RE DOING SOMETHING
INCORRECTLY, IF WE MAKE THIS SWITCH IT IS A HUGE, HUGE
INTERVENTION.
>> Stephen: WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.
HOW, HOW DID YOU FIRST GET INVOLVED IN LIKE CARING ABOUT
THINGS?
BECAUSE YOU ARE FROM HOLLYWOOD.
ARE YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT ANYTHING BUT YOURSELF.
ISN'T THAT THE TAKE ON YOU GUYS?
>> YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
AND LOOK, THERE'S SOME TRUTH TO THAT.
HERE IS MY-- HERE IS MY THUMBNAIL, I'M 11, THERE IS THE
ICE STORMS, I'M IN CONNECTICUT.
IT SEEMED ODD AND OUT OF PLACE FOR MY CHILDHOOD.
I WENT TO LOS ANGELES, DESCENDED INTO A BOWL OF ORANGE SMOKE
BECAUSE OF THE SMOG.
EPA WAS UP AND RUNNINGNESS DIDN'T SEEM TO BE WORKING, I HAD
BEEN WATCHING THOSE COMMERCIALS LIKE THE CRYING NATIVE AMERICAN
INDIAN IN NEW YORK, AND GIVE A HOOT, DON'T POLLUTE, AND THEN BY
THE '90S OUT WEST I'M NOTICING IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'VE DONE SOME
GOOD.
AND I GO THERE IT IS, WE FIXED IT.
AND DESCENDED UP MY OWN SPHINCTER FOR SEVERAL DECADES OR
ASCENDED AS THE CASE MAY BE.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> AND TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, THIS IS THE GREAT THING ABOUT
THE M.C. U, PLAYING SOMEONE WHO HAS TO SOLVE AND DEAL WITH
EXISTENTIAL CRISES WITH TECHNOLOGY, TO BE ABLE TO THEN
TRANSLATE THAT AND HAVE JUST A LITTLE BIT OF CREDIBILITY BASED
ON MY GENUINE INTEREST, IT JUST FEELS LIKE THE FUTURE.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK.
BUT STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY, WHEN WE COME BACK, THERE'S MORE
ROBERT DOWNEY, JR., THAT IS THE NICE THING, THERE IS ALWAYS A
LITTLE MORE.
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WE'RE BACK WITH ROBERT DOWNEY, JR.
DID YOU, WHEN YOU DID IRON MAN YOU HAD THE CELEBRATED BEGINNING
TO YOUR ACTING AND YOUR PERFORMING CAREER.
AND JUST INCANDESCENTLY OUT OF THE GATE WITH SOME OF YOUR
PERFORMANCES, ESPECIALLY CHAPLIN.
AND THEN AS YOU SAID YOURSELF, YOU HAD A PERIOD OF TIME WHERE
YOU ASCENDED UP YOUR OWN SPHINCTER, YOU SAID, SOMETHING
ALONG THOSE LINES.
>> WHAT WE WOULD HAVE TO GO, ROLL THE TAPE.
>> Stephen: JIM, CAN WE ROLL THAT BACK.
>> SPHINCTER.
>> Jon: >> Stephen: SO YOU DISAPPEAR
INTO YOURSELF FOR QUITE AWHILE, QUITE FAMOUSLY AND THEN YOU COME
BACK AT IRON MAN.
AND I KNOW YOU CAME BACK BEFORE THAT.
BUT THEN YOU MAKE THIS HUGE SPLASH AS IRON MAN, I REMEMBER
WATCHING THE SCREEN, WATCHING YOU DO IRON MAN, BEING BLOWN
AWAY BY THAT MOVIE GOING DAMMIT, GOOD FOR HIM BECAUSE THERE WAS
SO MUCH GOOD WILL FOR YOU.
DID YOU FEEL THAT GOOD WILL.
THAT PEOPLE WANTED YOU.
THEY WANTED ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. BACK?
THEY WANTED THAT YOUNG MAN WITH ALL THAT PROMISE TO EXPLODE AND
PAY OFF ALL THAT PROMISE WITH THESE AMAZING PERFORMANCES?
>> I DID.
AND I BELIEVED THAT WE HAPPENED TO BE, DESPITE CURRENT FEEDBACK
IN A VERY FORGIVING INDUSTRY.
YOU KNOW, I WAS REALLY FORTUNATE AND THAT I WAS PREINTERNET WITH
MUCH OF MY MISBEHAVIOR.
BUT I THINK I ALWAYS HAD A BIT OF A MORAL PSYCHOLOGY.
AND I ALWAYS WANTED TO KIND OF DO THE RIGHT THING.
WHICH DOESN'T COUNT FOR MUCH.
AND THEN I TOOK IT ON THE CHIN, YOU KNOW.
I THINK WHENEVER YOU GET HANDED A TRUE PERIOD OF HUMILIATION, I
THINK THAT WE, I WILL SPEAK FOR MY OWN EXPERIENCE SEEING IT WITH
OTHER PEOPLE, I GIVE THEM CRED FOR DUSTING THEMSELVES OFF.
AND I HATE TO SAY THIS, A VERY AMERICAN THING, YOU KNOW, TO
BUILD UP AND BREAK DOWN AND COME BACK.
IT IS, IN ITS OWN WEIRD WAY, IT IS A HERO'S JOURNEY, SO BY THE
WAY, I CAN RELATE TO TONY STARK A LOT BY THE TIME I PLAYED HIM.
A GUY WHO NEEDED TO REALLY BE HANDED A DOSE OF OUCH.
>> Stephen: ROBERT DOWNEY, JR., EVERYBODY.
WHEN WE COME BACK, TIFFANY HADDISH DOES TH, COLBERT
QUESTIONERT.
STICK AROUND.
>> "A LATE SHOW PRESENTS THE POST NFL RULE CHANGES FROM THE
PLAYERS IN THE SUPER BOWL.
>> MARIE KONDO RULE F YOU CATCH THE BALL AND IT DOESN'T SPARK
JOY, YOU HAVE TO THROW IT AWAY.
>> RUNNING BACK CAN ONLY MOVE LIKE-- SORRY, I'M JUST REALLY
INTO THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT RIGHT NOW.
>> IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY TACKLE THE REF BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT HE
WAS A ZEBRA, NO PENALTY.
>> THIS HAS BEEN "A LATE SHOW PRESENTS PROPOSED NFL RULE
CHANGES FROM THE PLAYERS IN THE SUPER BOWL.
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW
SUPER BOWL SPECIAL."
WE ARE SO LUCKY RIGHT NOW TO BE JOINED BY THE ONE, THE ONLY MISS
THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW I LOVE TALKING TO YOU, YOU ARE
ONE OF THE GUESTS WHO I ALWAYS HAVE MORE ENERGY AFTER THE SHOW
WHEN YOU'VE BEEN ON.
YOU ARE A POWER SOURCE, YOU ARE NOT JUST A GUEST.
BUT THE THING IS THAT WE ONLY HAVE A FEW MINUTES TOGETHER.
WE DON'T GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.
AND WHAT ARE WE HERE FOR IF NOT TO KNOW EACH OTHER.
AND SO I HAVE DEVICED AS YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW, BECAUSE
ST A PHENOMENON AT THIS POINT, IF IS SOMETHING CALLED THE
COLBERT QUESTIONERT, THESE ARE THE ESSENTIAL QUESTIONS THAT
ALLOW ME TO KNOW ANY GUEST TO REVEAL THEIR SOUL, NOT ONLY TO
THE NATION BUT TO THEMSELVES.
ARE YOU READY?
ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE COLBERT QUESTIONERT?
>> LET'S GO.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE TWO SPECIAL SUPER BOWL ADDED
QUESTIONS FOR TONIGHT.
NUMBER ONE, TIFFANY HADDISH, IF SUPER BOWL SUNDAY, LET'S START
WITH A COIN TOSS, DO YOU PICK HEADS OR TAILS?
>> HEADS.
>> Stephen: ANY REASON?
>> CUZ I THINK I GOT A NICE HEAD.
>> Stephen: YOU DO.
YOU DO.
OKAY, WHAT IS YOUR GO TO SUPER BOWL SNACK?
WOW.
>> I'M THINKING USUALLY.
VODKA.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
GOOD, GOOD, THAT'S A GREAT SOURCE OF FIBER.
OKAY.
NOW.
>> IT IS A DISINFECT ANT.
>> Stephen: LET'S GET TO THE QUESTIONERT ITSELF.
TIFFANY HADDISH, WHAT IS THE BEST SANDWICH.
>> PASTRAMI.
>> Stephen: THIS IS THE RIGHT ANSWER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?
>> I TAKE IT ON WHEAT, I HAVE IT TOASTED AND YOU KNOW I PUT ALL
KIND OF STUFF ON MY SANDWICH, BUT IF HAS TO BE HOT.
>> Stephen: HOT PASTRAMI.
WHAT IS THE ONE THING THAT YOU OWN THAT YOU REALLY SHOULD THROW
OUT?
>> I GOT A LOT OF UNDERWEARS I SHOULD PROBABLY THROW OUT.
BUT I LOVE THEM.
THEY'RE MY COMFORT DRAWERS.
>> Stephen: AND YOU SHOULD THROW THEM OUT BECAUSE THEY ARE
TOO COMFORTABLE?
>> WELL, BECAUSE THEY GOT HOLES IN THEM, THERE'S SOME-- ELASTIC
SITUATIONS.
>> Stephen: OKAY, LET'S MOVE ON.
>> I'M A GIRL, BUT MY UNDERWEAR LOOK LIKE MEN'S UNDERWEAR, I
WOULD SAY.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE SCARIEST ANIMAL?
>> ALLIGATOR, CROCODILE.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN NEAR ONE IN PERSON?
>> UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
I WISH I HAD A GUN JUST IN CASE THEY TRY TO RUN UP ON ME.
>> Stephen: APPLES OR ORANGES.
>> ORANGES CUZ THEY GOT A LOT OF VITAMIN C AND FIEBER IN THEM.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
I ALWAYS GO WITH APPLE BECAUSE YOU CAN PUT PEANUT BUTTER ON IT.
>> YEAH, BUT ORANGES YOU CAN PUT VODKA WITH.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER.
>> IT MAKES AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE ALKALINE.
>> Stephen: TIFFANY, HAVE YOU EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR
AUTOGRAPH?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHO?
>> HALLE BERRY,.
>> Stephen: DID YOU GET IT, DID SHE SAY
YES?
>> NO.
BUT MY GRANDMA GOT IT FOR ME, MY GRANDMA WORKED AT-- PRIME RIB
RESTAURANT IN BEVERLY HILLS AND SHE GOT IT FOR ME.
>> Stephen: MY MOTHER GOT HALLE BERRY'S AUTOGRAPH FOR ME.
>> SHE ONLY GIVES HER AUTOGRAPH TO OLDER WOMEN, SEE?
>> Stephen: TRUE STORY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN YOU DIE?
>> I THINK THAT YOUR BODY DISINTEGRATES AND GOES AWAY AND
I THINK YOUR SOUL GOES AND HAS A MEETING WITH THE-- I THINK YOUR
SOUL GOES TO HAVE A MEETING DECIDE IF YOU SHOULD COME BACK
OR NOT, THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO THINK HAPPENS.
>> Stephen: OH WOW.
>> AND THEN EVERYBODY FIGHTS OVER YOUR BELONGINGS.
>> Stephen: THEY'RE FIGHTING OVER ALL THAT UNDERWEAR YOU
DIDN'T THROW OUT.
THIS LOOKS COMFORTABLE.
OKAY, EXERCISE, WORTH IT?
>> YES, DEFINITELY WORTH IT.
>> Stephen: DEFINITELY, CUZ LOOK AT YOU DEFINITELY WORTH IT.
>> YEP.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
YOU GET ONE SONG TO LISTEN TO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT
IS IT?
>> SKIN A MARINKY DING, SKINA MA RINKY DOO, I LOVE YOU, SKINA MA
RINKA DINGY DING.
>> I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU IN THE MORNING.
♪ AND IN THE AFTERNOON.
♪ I LOVE YOU IN THE EVENING.
♪ UNDERNEATH THE MOON OH SKINA MA R RINKA DINGY DINKY DING, I
LOVE YOU.
THAT IS FROM THE ELEPHANT SHOW T IS MY FAVORITE SHOW.
>> Stephen: THAT IS DELIGHTFUL, FOR THE REST OF YOUR
LIFE.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: DESCRIBE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.
>> SUCCESSFUL, JOYOUS, CHALLENGING, GRATIFYING AND
ABUNDANT.
>> Stephen: SEASON 2 OF TIFFANY HADDISH PRESENTS THEY
READY IS ON NETFLIX NOW, TIFFANY HADDISH, YOU ARE OFFICIALLY
KNOWN, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> I LOVE YOU.
>> Stephen: HAPPY SUPER BOWL.
>> HAPPY SOUP SUPER BOWL.
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WAY PERFORMANCE FROM
METALLICA.
>> Stephen: AND NOW, PERFORMING THEIR ICONIC SONG "ENTER
SANDMAN," METALLICA.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ SAY YOUR PRAYERS, LITTLE ONE DON'T FORGET, MY SON
♪ TO INCLUDE EVERYONE I TUCK YOU IN, WARM WITHIN
♪ KEEP YOU FREE FROM SIN 'TIL THE SANDMAN HE COMES
♪ SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN GRIPPING YOUR PILLOW TIGHT
♪ EXIT LIGHT ENTER NIGHT
♪ TAKE MY HAND WE'RE OFF TO NEVER NEVERLAND
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ SOMETHING'S WRONG
SHUT THE LIGHT ♪ HEAVY THOUGHTS TONIGHT
AND THEY AREN'T OF SNOW WHITE ♪ DREAMS OF WAR, DREAMS OF LIARS
DREAMS OF DRAGON'S FIRE ♪ AND OF THINGS THAT
WILL BITE, YEAH ♪ SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN
GRIPPING YOUR PILLOW TIGHT ♪ EXIT LIGHT
ENTER NIGHT ♪ TAKE MY HAND
WE'RE OFF TO NEVER NEVERLAND ♪ NEVER NEVERLAND
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP ♪ NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP
PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO KEEP ♪ PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO KEEP
IF I DIE BEFORE I WAKE ♪ IF I DIE BEFORE I WAKE
PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO TAKE ♪ PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO TAKE
HUSH, LITTLE BABY ♪ DON'T SAY A WORD
AND NEVER MIND THAT ♪ NOISE YOU HEARD
IT'S JUST THE BEASTS ♪ UNDER YOUR BED
IN YOUR CLOSET, IN YOUR HEAD ♪ EXIT LIGHT
ENTER NIGHT ♪ GRAIN OF SAND
EXIT LIGHT ♪ ENTER NIGHT
TAKE MY HAND ♪ WE'RE OFF TO NEVER NEVERLAND
YEAH ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ BOO YEAH, YEAH
♪ YO, OH ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
WE'RE OFF TO NEVER NEVERLAND ♪ TAKE MY HAND
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: METALLICA, EVERYBODY!
YOU SEE?
THEY BRING IT.
WELL, THAT'S IT FOR "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE NFL.
DID YOU IT.
JOIN US TOMORROW WITH MY GUEST QUEEN LATIFAH.
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ THANK YOU FOR THAT COURTESY, AND YOUR COURTESY TO BE HERE
TONIGHT.
>> IT WAS A TOTAL HOOT, MAN, I'M HAVING AN OUT OF BODY
EXPERIENCE.
I WILL HAVE TO HOSE MYSELF DOWN.
>> Stephen: EXCELLENT,-- EXSWLENLT, GOOD
LUCK WITH THAT.
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