1 00:00:01,626 --> 00:00:02,627 >> COVID VARIANT ON THE MOVE. 2 00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:04,963 A NEW MUTATION SPREADING RAPIDLY THROUGH NEW YORK CITY. 3 00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:09,801 THE BIG QUESTION: CAN THE CONCERNING NEW VARIANT EVADE THE 4 00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:09,926 VACCINE? 5 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:49,549 >> JUST WEAR A MASK! 6 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,136 >> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 7 00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:59,642 TONIGHT: PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES 8 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:05,648 NEIL deGRASSE TYSON AND A SPECIAL PERFORMANCE BY JON 9 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:09,235 BATISTE. 10 00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,112 AND NOW, LIVE oN TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE 11 00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:15,033 BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 12 00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:20,288 >> Stephen: GOOD LORD! 13 00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:21,164 WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW." 14 00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:21,998 I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 15 00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:24,876 AND HOW LUCKY I AM TO BE YOUR HOST. 16 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,461 WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE. 17 00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:27,670 WE HAVE NEIL deGRASSE TYSON. 18 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:32,509 PLUS GOLDEN GLOBE WINNER IS GOING TO PERFORM "HOW DID WE GET 19 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,344 THAT GUY?" UNBELIEVABLE. 20 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:39,724 I'M IN A GOOD MOOD TONIGHT, BECAUSE AFTER A LONG HARD YEAR 21 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:40,975 OF COVID, THINGS ARE FINALLY LOOKING UP, IN THAT CASES ARE 22 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,185 GOING DOWN. 23 00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:45,355 AND THIS AFTERNOON, PRESIDENT BIDEN ANNOUNCED THAT, AFTER THE 24 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:49,275 F.D.A. APPROVED THE JOHNSON & JOHNSON VACCINE, THERE WILL NOW 25 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:51,194 BE ENOUGH VACCINE AVAILABLE FOR THE ENTIRE ADULT POPULATION IN 26 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:55,824 THE UNITED STATES BY THE END OF MAY. 27 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:56,241 MAY! 28 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,158 YES! 29 00:01:57,242 --> 00:02:01,871 I COULD KISS THAT MAN! 30 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:02,705 BY THE END OF MAY. 31 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:09,879 SOME STATES HAVE DECIDED IT'S ALL OVER. 32 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,381 FOR INSTANCE, JUST A FEW HOURS AGO, TEXAS GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT 33 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,966 SECEDED FROM REALITY, TWEETING, "I JUST ANNOUNCED TEXAS IS OPEN 34 00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:13,341 100%. 35 00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:15,218 EVERYTHING." 36 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,263 YOU HEAR THAT, IMMIGRANTS ON THE BORDER? 37 00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:19,556 THE GOVERNOR SAID IT'S OPEN. 38 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,182 COME ON IN! 39 00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,393 HE WENT ON TO TWEET, "I ALSO ENDED THE STATEWIDE MASK 40 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,227 MANDATE." 41 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,104 THAT'S RIGHT, NO MORE MASKS IN TEXAS! 42 00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:29,232 SO, IF THEY SEE YOU WITH A BANDANA OVER YOUR FACE, YOU HAD 43 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:33,403 BETTER BE ROBBING A STAGECOACH! 44 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,865 THE ORDER INCREASED THE PERMITTED CAPACITY OF ALL 45 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:37,991 BUSINESSES TO 100%. 46 00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:40,326 BUT ABBOTT LATER TWEETED, "TODAY'S ANNOUNCEMENT DOESN'T 47 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,245 ABANDON SAFE PRACTICES THAT TEXANS HAVE MASTERED OVER THE 48 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:45,957 PAST YEAR. 49 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:49,252 INSTEAD, IT'S A REMINDER THAT EACH PERSON HAS A ROLE TO PLAY 50 00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:53,256 IN THEIR OWN PERSONAL SAFETY AND THE SAFETY OF OTHERS." 51 00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:58,553 SURE, JUST LIKE REMOVING ALL THE STOP SIGNS FROM AN INTERSECTION 52 00:02:58,636 --> 00:02:59,762 IS A REMINDER THAT EACH PERSON HAS A ROLE TO PLAY IN NOT 53 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,098 SMASHING INTO EACH OTHER. 54 00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:03,141 IT'S NOT JUST TEXAS. 55 00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:05,226 YESTERDAY, MASSACHUSETTS ANNOUNCED THE REOPENING OF 56 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:09,314 RESTAURANTS, MOVIE THEATERS, AND ROLLER SKATING RINKS. 57 00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:10,148 ROLLER SKATING RINKS? 58 00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:12,150 ARE THEY RE-OPENING THE STATE IN 1956? 59 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:13,318 ( AS OLD MAN ) "SAY, YOUNGSTERS! 60 00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:16,195 COME ON BACK TO THE MALT SHOPPES, THE DRIVE-INS, AND THE 61 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,448 GARAGE WHERE YOU FIXED GREASED LIGHTNING. 62 00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:25,622 SEE YOU ALL AT THE SOCK HOP! 63 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:28,124 BE HOME BY 10:00, OR THE RUSSKIES WIN!" 64 00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:29,292 NEW YORK STATE IS NOW ALLOWING THE REOPENING OF LARGE-EVENT 65 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:33,755 VENUES AND AMUSEMENT PARKS. 66 00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:36,925 SO, HAVE SOME FUN AT CONEY ISLAND, NEW YORKERS! 67 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:37,508 IF WHEN YOU STEP ON A SYRINGE, REMEMBER TO TRY TO FIND A SECOND 68 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:41,304 ONE TO STEP ON IN 28 DAYS! 69 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:44,349 BUT ALL THESE STATES MAY NEED TO SLOW THEIR ROLL, ACCORDING TO 70 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:45,350 C.D.C. DIRECTOR AND GUIDANCE COUNSELOR TELLING YOU S.A.T. 71 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:50,313 SCORES AREN'T EVERYTHING, DR. ROCHELLE WALENSKY. 72 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,357 YESTERDAY, DR. WALENSKY ISSUED THIS WARNING: 73 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:58,112 >> NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO█ç RELAX THE CRITICAL SAFEGUARDS. 74 00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,990 >> Stephen: OKAY, BUT CAN WE AT LEAST RELAX OUR SPHINCTERS? 75 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:08,289 BECAUSE MINE'S CLAMPED SHUT SO HARD, IT STARTED GRINDING! 76 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,501 MY DOCTOR SAYS I NEED TO GET A NIGHT GUARD! 77 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:15,505 I'M PUMPING OWMENT DIAMONDS. 78 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,506 THAT'S TOO FAR? 79 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:17,799 THAT'S TOO FAR? 80 00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:20,843 IN THE ROUGH. 81 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:21,386 IN ANOTHER BUZZ-SHACKLING INTERVIEW, DR. WALENSKY SAID 82 00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:24,472 THAT SHE GETS IT. 83 00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:26,641 >> TOGETHER, WE HAVE THE CAPACITY TO AVOID ANOTHER SURGE 84 00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:28,351 IN OUR NATION. 85 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:33,356 I KNOW PEOPLE ARE TIRED, THEY WANT TO GET BACK TO LIFE, TO 86 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:36,150 NORMAL, BUT WE'RE NOT THERE YET. 87 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:37,110 >> Stephen: OKAY, COUNTER-POINT: HOW ABOUT NOW? 88 00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:38,403 ARE WE THERE NOW? 89 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:41,364 BECAUSE OUR SCIENTISTS ARE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE PARENTS 90 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,324 ON A LONG ROAD TRIP. 91 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:46,327 "I KNOW YOU KIDS WANT TO GET HOME, KIDS, BUT IT'S JUST A FEW 92 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:49,330 MORE MILES, AND YOU'VE JUMPED OUT OF THE CAR. 93 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:56,129 TUCK AND ROLL, TUCK AND ROLL!" 94 00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,380 ( LAUGHTER ) BUT HERE'S THE THING: IT LOOKS 95 00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:01,384 LIKE THE DIRECTOR OF THE CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL MIGHT KNOW 96 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:05,430 A THING OR TWO ABOUT CONTROLLING DISEASES, BECAUSE WHILE THE 97 00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,348 NUMBERS ARE LOOKING GOOD, THEY'RE ABOUT THE SAME AS THEY 98 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:10,184 WERE LAST SUMMER. 99 00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:10,476 AND LAST SUMMER WAS NO PICNIC-- IN THAT I DID NOT GO ON ANY 100 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,688 PICNICS. 101 00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:17,191 BUT NORMAL LIFE IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE, WAITING FOR US. 102 00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:20,028 FOR INSTANCE, IN ISRAEL, ROYAL CARIBBEAN HAS BECOME THE FIRST 103 00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:22,905 COMPANY TO OFFER "FULLY VACCINATED" CRUISES. 104 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,742 HELL, YEAH! 105 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:29,454 CRUISING'S BACK, BABY! 106 00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:31,748 AND THANKS TO THE NEW VACCINATION, YOU DON'T HAVE TO 107 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:32,874 WORRY ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS. 108 00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:33,875 JUST KICK BACK AND ENJOY DIARRHEA AND A HYPNOTIST SHOW ON 109 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:37,420 A FLOATING SHOPPING MALL THAT YOU CAN'T ESCAPE. 110 00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:43,342 LIKE ROYALTY.█ç VACCINATED OR NO, SHARING A 111 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:46,220 BUFFET WITH HUNDREDS OF STRANGERS IN CLOSE QUARTERS 112 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:47,346 RIGHT NOW IS PRETTY MUCH THE LEAST-APPEALING CRUISE I CAN 113 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,432 IMAGINE. 114 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:51,434 OKAY, I STAND CORRECTED. 115 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:52,560 SORRY. 116 00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:56,272 PLENTY OF PEOPLE ARE VERY INTERESTED IN HITTING THE OPEN 117 00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:57,482 SEAS BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, AROUND-THE-WORLD CRUISES ARE 118 00:05:57,565 --> 00:06:01,778 SELLING OUT MORE THAN A YEAR IN ADVANCE. 119 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,112 THOUGH, IT COULD JUST BE PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO PAY FOR ANYTHING 120 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,530 THAT MEANS THEY WON'T BE STUCK INSIDE IN A YEAR. 121 00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:07,325 "HEY, 12 MONTHS FROM NOW, HOW'D YOU LIKE TO ROLL DOWN A STEEP 122 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:12,789 HILL IN A GARBAGE CAN?" "TAKE MY MONEY!" 123 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:16,167 THAT WAS TWO DIFFERENT CHARACTERS, BY THE WAY. 124 00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,169 NOW THAT WE KNOW THE VACCINES ARE WORKING, THEY'VE BECOME 125 00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:19,378 EXTREMELY VALUABLE. 126 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,506 IN FACT, INTERPOL IS WARNING OF A DRAMATIC INCREASE IN ARMED 127 00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:23,633 ROBBERIES OF VACCINE SHIPMENTS. 128 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,510 YOU CAN LEARN ALL ABOUT IT IN THE NEW VIDEO GAME: "GRAND THEFT 129 00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:29,305 AUTO: VIAL CITY." 130 00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:32,809 YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHY THESE VIALS ARE A CRIME TARGET. 131 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:37,480 ON THE DARK WEB, COVID-19 VACCINES ARE ALREADY SELLING FOR 132 00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:40,483 $200 PER DOSE. 133 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:45,446 NOW, BEFORE YOU TRY TO SCORE SOME PURE UNCUT 'VID 'VAC ON THE 134 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:49,492 STREET, IT MIGHT BE HUSTLED BY A DIFFERENT NAME: PFIZE-BALL, 135 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:55,498 DR. FAUCI'S MASK LOOSENER, CRACK-STROZENICA, JOHNSON & 136 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,500 JOHNSMACK, AND RIDING THE WHITE RIBONUCLEIC ACID-BASED IMMUNO 137 00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:01,838 TECHNOLOGY. 138 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:06,634 TO PROTECT THE PRECIOUS CARGO, VACCINE TRUCKS ARE NOW UNMARKED, 139 00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:09,637 AND HAVE TRUCK DRIVERS WITH A PANIC BUTTON ON THE DASHABOARD 140 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:16,352 IT ATHE HEADQUARTERS OF ANY DANGER, AND IF ALL THAT FAILS 141 00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:17,603 IT ATHE HEADQUARTERS OF ANY DANGER, AND IF ALL THAT FAILS 142 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,856 THE TRUCKER CAN ALWAYS PELT THE THIEVES WITH A GATORADE BOTTLE 143 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,024 FULL OF PEE. 144 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,402 OF COURSE, ARMED ROBBERY IS NOT THE BIGGEST THREAT TO GETTING 145 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,195 EVERYBODY VACCINATED. 146 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,363 MISINFORMATON IS. 147 00:07:27,446 --> 00:07:28,698 THAT'S WHY TODAY, TWITTER LAUNCHED A FIVE-STRIKE SYSTEM TO 148 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:34,871 BAN USERS WHO SPREAD COVID-19 LIES. 149 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,747 FIVE STRIKES? 150 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:37,707 IS THAT A THING NOW? 151 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:42,753 PLEASE TELL ME BASEBALL ISN'T GETTING LONER. 152 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,506 HERE'S HOW IT WORKS: EVERY TIME YOU LIE ABOUT COVID ON TWITTER, 153 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,885 YOU GET ONE STRIKE. 154 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,429 ONE STRIKE, NO ACCOUNT-LEVEL ACTION. 155 00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:52,221 THEY JUST REMEMBER. 156 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,014 TWO STRIKES: 12-HOUR ACCOUNT LOCK. 157 00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:55,600 THREE STRIKES: 12-HOUR ACCOUNT LOCK. 158 00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:58,561 FOUR STRIKES: SEVEN-DAY ACCOUNT LOCK. 159 00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,855 AND, FINALLY, FIVE STRIKES GETS YOU A PERMANENT SUSPENSION. 160 00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:04,859 SO, THEY'VE SETTLED ON THE "TIRED PARENT" PUNISHMENT 161 00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:09,739 METHOD: "BILLY! 162 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:12,450 BILLIE! 163 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:13,576 YOU SPRAY-PAINTED THE CAT?! 164 00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:18,080 YOU DO THAT FOUR MORE TIMES, AND YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE. 165 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,583 OKAY, KEEP SPRAYING. 166 00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:21,083 THAT'S ONLY YOUR SECOND. 167 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,084 DADDY'S TAKING A NAP. 168 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:26,589 KEEP SPRAYING, BUDDY." 169 00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:29,008 SPEAKING OF CONSEQUENCES, THERE COULD BE SOME ON THE WAY FOR NEW 170 00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:31,761 YORK GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO, SEEN HERE WITH HIS RIGHT-HAND MAN WHO 171 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:35,056 MIGHT DESTROY HIS ADMINISTRATION. 172 00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:37,308 CUOMO IS FACING CALLS TO RESIGN FROM MEMBERS OF HIS OWN PARTY 173 00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:38,601 AFTER TWO WOMEN ACCUSED HIM OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN THE 174 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,811 WORPLACE. 175 00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:45,608 BUT IT TURNS OUT, THAT WASN'T EXACTLY ACCURATE, BECAUSE HE 176 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:46,776 WAS ALSO DOING IT OUTSIDE THE WORKPLACE. 177 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,070 YESTERDAY, A THIRD PERSON, ANNA RUCK, ACCUSED THE GOVERNOR 178 00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:52,949 OF MAKING AN UNWANTED ADVANCE AT HER IN 2019 AT A CROWDED NEW 179 00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:56,786 YORK CITY WEDDING RECEPTION. 180 00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:59,330 ACCORDING TO RUCH, WHILE SPEAKING WITH CUOMO AT THE 181 00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:00,831 WEDDING, HE PUT HIS HAND ON HER BARE LOWER BACK. 182 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:04,919 AND WHEN SHE REMOVED HIS HAND WITH HER OWN, HE PLACED HIS 183 00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:10,633 HANDS ON HER CHEEKS AND REMARKED THAT SHE SEEMED "AGGRESSIVE." 184 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:13,803 OKAY, SO IF HE THINKS PROTECTING YOURSELF IS AN ACT OF 185 00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:17,306 AGGRESSION, THAT DOES EXPLAIN THE SAFETY SIGNS IN CUOMO 186 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:20,851 OFFICE. 187 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,311 "IN CASE OF FIRE, JUST LET IT HAPPEN OR YOU'LL LOOK LIKE A 188 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,479 PUSHY DAME." 189 00:09:23,562 --> 00:09:24,981 BUT IT GETS WORSE BECAUSE, REPORTEDLY, CUOMO THEN ASKED IF 190 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,983 HE COULD KISS HER, LOUDLY ENOUGH FOR A FRIEND STANDING NEARBY TO 191 00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:29,277 HEAR, AND LOUD ENOUGH FOR THE FRIEND TO PHOTOGRAPH IT. 192 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:35,950 OKAY, SHE LOOKS CREEPED OUT, AND HE LOOKS CREEP. 193 00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,159 IT DOESN'T HELP THAT HE'S THE COLOR OF HELLBOY. 194 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,828 HE LOOKS LIKE ON THE R.S.V.P. 195 00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,830 CARD, HE SKIPPED "CHICKEN" AND "FISH," AND SELECTED "FLESH OF 196 00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:44,667 THE INNOCENT." 197 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,295 OH, THERE'S BIG NEWS FROM THE LITERARY WORLD: DR. SEUSS 198 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:50,548 ENTERPRISES, THE COMPANY CHARGED WITH PROTECTING DR. SEUSS' 199 00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:53,426 LEGACY, ANNOUNCED THIS MORNING THAT SIX DR. SEUSS BOOKS WILL 200 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,678 STOP BEING PUBLISHED BECAUSE OF THEIR RACIST AND INSENSITIVE 201 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:58,514 IMAGERY. 202 00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:00,933 THE BOOKS IN QUESTION ARE "AND TO THINK THAT I SAW IT ON 203 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:05,521 MULBERRY STREET," "IF I RAN THE ZOO," "SCRAMBLED EGGS SUPER!" 204 00:10:05,604 --> 00:10:10,818 "McELLIGOT'S POOL," "ON BEYOND ZEBRA!" "THE CAT'S QUIZZER," AND 205 00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,862 "GREEN EGGS AND MATT LAUER." 206 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:16,866 ( LAUGHTER ) AFTER REVIEWING THE CONTENTS OF 207 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,702 THE DR. SEUSS CATALOG, DR. SEUSS ENTERPRISES MADE THE DECISION TO 208 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:23,205 CUT OUT CERTAIN BOOKS, SAYING IN A STATEMENT THAT, "CEASING SALES 209 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:27,376 OF THESE BOOKS IS ONLY PART OF OUR COMMITMENT TO ENSURE 210 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,878 DR. SEUSS ENTERPRISE'S CATALOG REPRESENTS AND SUPPORTS ALL 211 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,212 COMMUNITIES AND FAMILIES." 212 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,882 IT'S A RESPONSIBLE MOVE ON THEIR PART. 213 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:35,718 THERE HADN'T BEEN AN EARTH-SHATTERING OUTCRY, BUT 214 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:39,388 THEY RECOGNIZED THE IMPACT THAT THESE IMAGES MIGHT HAVE ON 215 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:44,894 READERS, ESPECIALLY KIDS, AND THEY'RE TRYING TO FIX IT, 216 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:48,731 BECAUSE DR. SEUSS BOOKS SHOULD BE FUN FOR ALL PEOPLE: 217 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:52,193 BLACK, WHITE, STRAIGHT, GAY, SNEETCHES-- BOTH STAR-BELLIED 218 00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:56,405 AND PLAIN-- LORAXES, BARBALOOTS, ALL THE WHOS DOWN IN WHOVILLE, 219 00:10:56,489 --> 00:11:00,493 AND THE STRANGE ANGRY CREATURE NAMED FOO-FOO THE SNOO. 220 00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:04,747 AND IT'S ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT TO BE RESPONSIVE LIKE THIS, BECAUSE 221 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,874 DR. SEUSS HAS ALSO SO MANY BOOKS THAT ARE LOVELY AND TEACH VITAL 222 00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,751 LESSONS THAT RESONATE TO THIS DAY. 223 00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:10,753 "HORTON HEARS A WHO!" IS ABOUT LISTENING TO UNDERREPRESENTED 224 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:11,712 VOICES. 225 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,714 "THE BUTTER BATTLE BOOK," TEACHES TOLERANCE. 226 00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,758 "THE LORAX" TEACHES ENVIRONMENTAL ETHICS. 227 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:20,388 AND "HOP ON POP" WARNS AGAINST THE DANGERS OF POP-HOPPING. 228 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:26,435 THE NEXT THING THAT POPS MIGHT BE HIS AORTA! 229 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:26,727 AND I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY THEY'RE PULLING A SMALL NUMBER OF HIS 230 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:27,978 BOOKS. 231 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:30,398 "IF I RAN THE ZOO" SHOWS RACIST DEPICTIONS OF ASIAN CHARACTERS, 232 00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:31,857 SAYING THEY'RE "FROM COUNTRIES NO ONE CAN SPELL." 233 00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:39,448 SO, "CHINA," TOO DIFFICULT TO SPELL. 234 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,616 BUT "SOLLA SOLLEW"? 235 00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:41,784 SPELLED LIKE IT SOUNDS. 236 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:42,952 THE DR. SEUSS FOLKS LISTENED TO CRITICISM, THOUGHT IT WAS 237 00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,954 REASONABLE, AND MADE WHAT'S CALLED "A CHANGE"-- OR AS IT'S 238 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:48,916 KNOWN ON FOX NEWS, "CANCEL CULTURE." 239 00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:50,960 >> DR. SEUSS ESSENTIALLY HAS BEEN CANCELED. 240 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,670 >> THEY WANT TO CANCEL DR. SEUSS. 241 00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:55,798 >> DR. SEUSS SHOULD NOT BE CANCELED IN YOUR HOME. 242 00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:58,259 >> THERE'S NO PLACE THEY WON'T GO. 243 00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:01,512 THEY'RE CANCELING DR. SEUSS FROM READING PROGRAMS. 244 00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,097 I MEAN, THESE ARE BOOKS-- I LITERALLY KNOW "THE CAT IN THE 245 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:04,640 HAT" BY HEART WITHOUT THE BOOK THERE. 246 00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:05,808 >> Stephen: I'M NOT SURPRISED DON JUNIOR LOVES "CAT IN THE 247 00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:06,934 HAT." 248 00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:10,688 I'VE ALWAYS BELIEVED HE CAN READ AT A SECOND-GRADE LEVEL. 249 00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:12,815 ALSO, I THINK HIS DAD CALLS HIM AND ERIC "THING ONE" AND "THING 250 00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:14,483 TWO." 251 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,277 BUT IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT THESE CHILDREN'S BOOKS BEING 252 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,488 REMOVED FROM THE SHELVES, WE HERE AT "A LATE SHOW" HAVE JUST 253 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:23,534 THE BOOK FOR YOU: IT'S "OH, THE BOOKS YOU CAN 254 00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:24,493 READ." 255 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,829 ( CLEARS THROAT ) SO, THE BOOK NEWS YOU HEARD 256 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:27,746 TODAY JUST GOT YOUR GOOSE. 257 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:32,334 AND NOW YOU'RE DEFENSIVE OF OL' DR. SEUSS. 258 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:36,505 IF YOU FIND THAT YOUR BOOKSHELF JUST GOT A LITTLE BIT DULLER, 259 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,133 CONSIDER THESE KIDS' BOOKS FROM PEOPLE OF COLOR. 260 00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:42,845 THERE'S LOTS OF NEW STORIES YOU MIGHT FIND QUITE GOOD. 261 00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:46,724 LIKE "EEMANI'S MOON" BY JANAY BROWN WOOD. 262 00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:50,728 WANT MORE SUGGESTIONS? 263 00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:51,812 NO NEED TO KEEP HOPIN'. 264 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:57,026 JUST PICK UP "FIREBIRD" BY THE MISTY COPELAND. 265 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,320 AND THIS ONE RIGHT HERE IS THE REAL "REAL McCOY." 266 00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:01,822 IT'S THOMEESHA BOOKER'S GREAT BOOK, "BROWN BOY JOY." 267 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:04,742 THERE'S A WHOLE RANGE OF BOOKS THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL MERRY, 268 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:10,831 LIKE THIS ONE, CALLED "HAIR LOVE" BY MATHEW A. CHERRY. 269 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,501 THERE ARE SO MANY STORIES. 270 00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:14,460 A WHOLE GREAT ASSORTY! 271 00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:17,338 IT'S FUN TO READ BOOKS WRITTEN AFTER THE '40s. 272 00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:23,385 SO DON'T BE SO CANCELLY-CULTURE-Y-WHINEY. 273 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,222 READ THESE BOOKS AFTER PULLING YOUR HEAD FROM YOUR HEINIE. 274 00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:29,225 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 275 00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:31,352 I'LL BE TALKING TO ASTROPHYSICIST NEIL deGRASSE 276 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:32,561 TYSON. 277 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:36,565 AND LATER, A SPECIAL PERFORMANCE BY OUR FRIEND, JON BATISTE. 278 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:39,652 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!" 279 00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:43,697 I'M GOING TO CHECK-- I'M GOING TO CHECK THIS ONE OUT. 280 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,325 ♪ ♪ ♪ 281 00:13:55,292 --> 00:14:04,760 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, 282 00:14:04,843 --> 00:14:07,263 WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW." 283 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,599 LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JONA BATISTE. 284 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:14,395 JON, ARE YOU AS EXCITED AS I AM OF TONIGHT'S MUSICAL GUEST? 285 00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:14,937 I'M A BIG FAN. 286 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:15,980 >> Jon: I LIKE THAT GUY. 287 00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:17,731 HE'S GOING. 288 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,650 >> Stephen: HE'S A COMER. 289 00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,278 HE'S THE COMING MAN IS WHAT HE IS. 290 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:25,990 WHAT SONG ARE YOU DOING US TONIGHT FROM YOUR NEW ALBUM "WE 291 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:26,782 ARE"? 292 00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:29,034 >> Jon: I'M GOING TO DO "I NEED YOU." 293 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,787 I WANT TO DO THAT BECAUSE WE NEED THE JOY. 294 00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:33,247 WE NEED EACH OTHER, BABY. 295 00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:34,665 >> Stephen: AND IT'S PACKED WITH IT. 296 00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:37,960 IT'S PACKED WITH JOY LIKE PENUTS IN A SNICKER'S BAR. 297 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,963 GIVE US A LITTLE TEASE OF WHAT'S COMING. 298 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,299 >> Jon: JUST A LITTLE BIT. 299 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:53,267 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: STICK AROUND FOR 300 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,311 THAT, EVERYBODY. 301 00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:56,103 JON BATISTE. 302 00:14:56,186 --> 00:14:59,148 >> Jon: GOT TO WAIT FOR THE RIFFUPON 303 00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:01,358 >> Stephen: YOU KNOW, EVERY NIGHT I SCOUR THE DIAMOND MARKET 304 00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:04,320 FOR THE SHINIEST, MOST TOPICAL GEMS OF STORIES, THEN I LOVINGLY 305 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:07,364 ARRANGE AND SET THEM INTO A HAND-CAST, SOLID, 24-CARAT GOLD 306 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:11,368 NECKLACE TO CREATE FOR YOU THE CARTIER MASTERPIECE THAT IS MY 307 00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:13,787 MONOLOGUE. 308 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,372 BUT SOMETIMES, JUST SOMETIMES I GET ARRESTED FOR ILLEGALLY 309 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:18,167 TRADING BOOTLEG ENDANGERED MEAT AND GET SENT UP FOR A FIVE SPOT 310 00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:21,003 WHERE ME AND SPIDER, WHO GOT PINCHED FOR HIS GOAT FIGHTING 311 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:24,840 RING, SCRAPE TOGETHER SOME BOTTLE CAPS, BUSTED PRETZELS, 312 00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:27,343 AND DISCARDED LIFE SAVERS CANDIES WE FOUND IN THE 313 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:31,138 INFIRMARY AFTER A JUMP-OFF, STRING 'EM ONTO SOME GREASY HAIR 314 00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:34,683 WE STOLE FROM CRUSHER'S PONYTAIL WHILE HE WAS KNOCKED OUT ON HIS 315 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,186 MEDS, ALL TO CREATE FOR YOU THE PRISON CRAFTROOM CHOKER OF NEWS 316 00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:43,359 THAT IS MY SEGMENT: "QUARANTINE-WHILE!" 317 00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:47,154 >> Stephen: QUARANTINE-WHILE, "CATS ARE JUST AS DISLOYAL AS 318 00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:51,492 YOU SUSPECTED, A NEW STUDY SUGGESTS." 319 00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:54,036 WHICH MEANS WE HAVE BREAKING NEWS: 320 00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:59,333 ♪ ♪ ♪ CATS ARE (BLEEP). 321 00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:03,379 IN 2015, RESEARCHERS "HAD DOGS SEE A SITUATION IN WHICH A THIRD 322 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:06,048 PARTY WOULD EITHER HELP THEIR OWNER OR TURN THEIR BACK ON 323 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,299 THEM." 324 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:10,427 WHEN THE THIRD PARTY SPURNED THE OWNER'S PLEA FOR HELP, THE DOGS 325 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:11,720 SEEMINGLY TOOK IT PERSONALLY AND TENDED TO AVOID TAKING A TREAT 326 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:15,391 FROM THEM." 327 00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:19,353 WHEREAS, IN THE EXACT SAME TEST, "CATS SHOWED NO PREFERENCE 328 00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,145 FOR PEOPLE WHO TREAT THEIR OWNERS POSITIVELY OVER THOSE 329 00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:23,107 WHO BEHAVE NEGATIVELY TOWARDS THEM." 330 00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:27,403 CONFIRMED: YOUR CAT DOES NOT HAVE YOUR BACK. 331 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:34,118 "HEY, I NOTICE YOU'VE BEEN STABBED IN THE NECK, MASTER. 332 00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:36,537 YOU MIND SHOWING YOUR ASSAILANT WHERE THE PANTRY IS BEFORE YOU 333 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:37,287 PASS OUT? 334 00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:38,122 THAT TUNA ISN'T GONNA OPEN ITSELF." 335 00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:41,041 ALSO, BAD NEWS FOR BOND VILLAINS. 336 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,292 THAT CAT MAY TURN ON YOU. 337 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:43,585 THAT'S WHY Q ALWAYS GIVES JAMES BOND A PEN THAT ALSO WORKS AS A 338 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:44,461 LASER POINTER. 339 00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:47,381 AND THIS BRINGS ME TO MORE BREAKING NEWS: 340 00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:52,636 ♪ ♪ ♪ BREAKING NEWS: "DOGS GIVE A 341 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,178 RAT'S ASS IF YOU LIVE OR DIE." 342 00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:55,264 WHO SPURNS MY NEMESIS? 343 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:55,764 YOU DO! 344 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,099 YOU GOT A VENDETTA. 345 00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:58,726 YOU DO! 346 00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:02,104 GOOD BOY! 347 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,231 QUARANTINE-WHILE, THE MEDICAL DIRECTOR OF ENGLAND'S NATIONAL 348 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:07,443 HEALTH SERVICE HAS WARNED AGAINST TAKING GWYNETH PALTROW'S 349 00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:08,277 COVID ADVICE. 350 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:15,451 NOW, WAIT JUST A VAGINA CANDLE MINUTE! 351 00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,119 IF WE CAN'T TRUST THE ACTOR LADY WHO SELLS YONI ROCKS AND 352 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,455 VA-JAY-JAY STEAMERS FOR MEDICAL ADVICE, WHO CAN WE TRUST?! 353 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:20,456 REESE WITHERSPOON? 354 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:25,085 SHE DOESN'T SELL ANYTHING TO JAM UP MY ORIFICES. 355 00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:31,467 I GUESS DRAPER JAMES SELLS SUNGLASSES, BUT WHY WOULD I JAM 356 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:32,593 THEM WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE?! 357 00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:36,930 IT SEEMS PALTROW HAS BEEN CLAIMING YOU CAN RELIEVE COVID 358 00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:39,850 EFFECTS WITH DUBIOUS TREATMENTS, LIKE A "KETO AND PLANT-BASED" 359 00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:44,146 DIET, "LOTS OF COCONUT AMINOS" AND SUGAR-FREE KOMBUCHA AND 360 00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:47,441 KIMCHI," AND "INTUITIVE FASTING." 361 00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:50,110 AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT "INTUITIVE FASTING" MEANS, THINK 362 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:55,449 OF IT AS "CONSCIOUSLY UNCOUPLING" FROM NUTRIENTS. 363 00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:58,160 QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN MEAT NEWS, AUTHORITIES SEIZED NEARLY 300 364 00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:02,748 POUNDS OF CONTRABAND BOLOGNA AT THE SOUTHERN BORDER. 365 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:06,668 NO WORD ON THE IDENTITY OF THE BOLOGNA CARTEL'S LEADER. 366 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:07,961 SO FAR, ALL THEY KNOW IS HE DOES HAVE A FIRST NAME, AND IT'S 367 00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:12,090 "O-S-C-A-R." 368 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,258 NOW, IT'S ILLEGAL TO BRING FOREIGN BOLOGNA INTO THE U.S., 369 00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:19,181 IN PART, DUE TO THE RISK OF TRANSMITTING FOREIGN DISEASES. 370 00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:21,308 BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING PEOPLE WHO EAT BOLOGNA ARE KNOWN 371 00:18:21,391 --> 00:18:23,519 FOR, IT'S BEING HEALTH CONSCIOUS. 372 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:26,688 NOW, LONGTIME VIEWERS OF THE "QUARANTINE-WHILE" SUPER-SEGMENT 373 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:30,192 "MEANWHILE" MIGHT BE EXPERIENCING A STRONG SENSE OF 374 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:34,696 DEJA VU, BECAUSE IN NOVEMBER OF 2019, I NOTED A SIMILAR STORY: 375 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:39,076 MEANWHILE, IN MEAT NEWS, CUSTOMS AND BORDER PROTECTION SEIZED 154 376 00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:43,330 POUNDS OF "PROHIBITED BOLOGNA" THIS WEEK AT THE U.S.-MEXICO 377 00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:47,417 BORDER CROSSING IN EL PASO, TEXAS. 378 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:50,212 BORDER PATROL AGENTS SEIZED THE MEAT, BUT THE CRIMINAL FLED THE 379 00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:51,421 SCENE. 380 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:55,425 SO AUTHORITIES ARE ASKING THE PUBLIC TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR 381 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:56,844 THIS VEHICLE. 382 00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:59,555 ( LAUGHTER ) WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY NEWEST 383 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:02,182 "QUARANTINE-WHILE" SUB-SUBSEGMENT: "TOLD YA SO." 384 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:07,563 TONIGHT "ON TOLD YA SO": TOLD YA SO. 385 00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:11,567 I WARNED AMERICA ABOUT THE GROWING BOLOGNA THREAT, AND YET, 386 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,902 AMERICA DID NOTHING. 387 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:17,865 AND NOW IT'S GROWN FROM 154 POUNDS OF PROHIBITED BOLOGNA TO 388 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,575 NEARLY 300 POUNDS OF "CONTRABAND BOLOGNA." 389 00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:22,119 AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S NEXT: 600 POUNDS OF "FORBIDDEN 390 00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:23,161 BOLOGNA." 391 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:26,707 AND YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHERE THEY'RE HIDING IT. 392 00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:30,252 LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY: YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO PUT A PAIR OF 393 00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:31,461 DRAPER JAMES SUNGLASSES THERE. 394 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:35,591 TAKE ACTION, AMERICA, BECAUSE WE CAN EITHER DO SOMETHING NOW OR 395 00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:39,553 SEE THIS ALL PLAY OUT LATER IN THE UPCOMING SERIES: "NARCOS: 396 00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:40,512 DELI COUNTER." 397 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,264 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH NEIL deGRASSE TYSON. 398 00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:46,184 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 399 00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:56,445 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 400 00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:59,948 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW." 401 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,451 MY GUEST TONIGHT IS THE DIRECTOR OF THE HAYDEN PLANETARIUM AT THE 402 00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:07,122 AMERICAN MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY, THE HOST OF "STAR TALK" 403 00:20:07,205 --> 00:20:09,833 AND "COSMOS," AND THE AUTHOR OF THE NEW BOOK, "COSMIC QUERIES." 404 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:13,420 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," NEIL deGRASSE TYSON! 405 00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:17,257 NEIL, HOW ARE YOU? 406 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,342 >> DOING GOOD. 407 00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:20,177 DOING GOOD. 408 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,261 DUDE. 409 00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:24,306 >> Stephen: NOW, BECAUSE YOU'RE AN EDUCATOR, YOU ARE 410 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:29,102 ELIGIBLE TO GET THE COVID VACCINE HERE IN NEW YORK. 411 00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,480 AND I UNDERSTAND THIS MORNING YOU GOT THE SECOND SHOT. 412 00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:34,066 NOW, I'VE HEARD-- >> I GOT THE SECOND SHOT 11 413 00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:35,275 HOURS AGO, YES. 414 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,653 >> Stephen: OKAY, AND I HEARD THAT THEY CAN-- IT CAN FEEL A 415 00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:38,320 LITTLE ROUGH AFTER THE SECOND SHOT. 416 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:39,988 HOW ARE YOU DOING? 417 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,032 >> I'M A LITTLE LOOPY NOW. 418 00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:43,867 ( LAUGHS ). 419 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:46,203 >> Stephen: LOOPY? 420 00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:46,787 LIKE... 421 00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:48,330 >> JUST A LITTLE LOOPY. 422 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:49,790 BUT, NO, I FEEL FINE. 423 00:20:49,873 --> 00:20:55,003 I WAS NEVER MUCH OF A SIDE EFFECTS GUY MY WHOLE LIFE, SO I 424 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:58,966 DON'T EXPECT TO-- TO PUT A CHECK IN ALL THE BOXES THAT THEY LIST. 425 00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:04,638 BUT, OTHERWISE, YEAH, IF I'M OTHERWISE INCOHERENT, THAT COULD 426 00:21:04,721 --> 00:21:05,347 BE WHY. 427 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:07,975 I GOT IT UP AT HARLEM HOSPITAL. 428 00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:10,686 >> Stephen: HERE YOU ARE GETTING THE FIRST DOSE 28 DAYS 429 00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:11,853 AGO. 430 00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,481 AND I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ONE POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECT OF THE SHOT 431 00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:15,691 WAS OF THE GUN SHOW. 432 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:21,989 ( LAUGHTER ) SUN'S NOT EVEN OUT, BUT GUNS ARE 433 00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:22,739 OUT. 434 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:25,742 NOW, I'M GLAD-- I'M GLAD-- >> WHAT? 435 00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:29,871 >> THAT'S JUST WHAT'S LEFT OVER FROM 40 YEARS AND 40 POUNDS AGO 436 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,832 WHEN I USED TO BE IN SHAPE. 437 00:21:31,915 --> 00:21:32,374 >> Stephen: YOU LOOK GOOD, MAN. 438 00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:34,042 YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD. 439 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,085 >> THANK YOU. 440 00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:36,920 >> Stephen: I WOULDN'T-- I WOULDN'T FACE YOU IN THE 441 00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:37,254 WRESTLING RING. 442 00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:38,046 >> OKAY. 443 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,339 >> Stephen: YOU'RE A MAN OF SCIENCE. 444 00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:43,385 WHAT IS-- WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF YOU GETTING THE 445 00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:43,969 SHOT? 446 00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:47,431 >> WELL, IT'S IMPORTANT. 447 00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:52,227 FIRST OF ALL, CONSIDER WHO WE THINK OF NORMALLY AS HEROES IN 448 00:21:52,310 --> 00:21:53,311 SOCIETY. 449 00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:55,397 OFTEN IT'S SOMEONE WHO SAVES A LIFE OR SEVERAL LIVES. 450 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,734 AND PUTTING THEIR OWN LIFE AT RISK, SOMETIMES. 451 00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:05,907 AND WHEN I THINK OF THE COVID VACCINE DEVELOPED BY LAB 452 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:09,244 RESEARCHERS, WHAT THAT TELLS ME IS THAT THERE'S A GROUP OF 453 00:22:09,327 --> 00:22:10,370 SCIENTISTS WHOSE NAMES YOU WILL NEVER KNOW. 454 00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:12,539 THERE WILL BE NO STATUES TO THEM. 455 00:22:12,622 --> 00:22:19,087 YET, THEY WILL HAVE SAVED MILLIONS OF LIVES BY DEVELOPING 456 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:20,255 VACCINES IN RECORD TIME. 457 00:22:20,338 --> 00:22:26,470 AND SO, SO I THINK THAT IS THE APPROPRIATE USE OF THE TERM 458 00:22:26,553 --> 00:22:29,222 "SUPER HERO." 459 00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:30,432 IF YOU-- ( LAUGHING ) 460 00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:34,936 SO SCIENTISTS MAY BE THE ONLY AUTHENTIC, LEGITIMATE SUPER 461 00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:38,440 HEROES IN SOCIETY, AND I TIP MY HAT TO THEM, EVEN THOUGH WE 462 00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:40,609 CANNOT RECITE THEIR NAMES BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW THEM, AND 463 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:41,985 NOBODY IS BUILDING STATUE S. 464 00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:46,073 >> Stephen: OKAY, LET'S GET TO SOME OTHER HARD SCIENCE HERE. 465 00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:48,325 THERE ARE A WHOLE LOT OF MARS MISSIONS GOING ON RIGHT NOW. 466 00:22:48,408 --> 00:22:54,122 WHO DO WE GOT UP THERE RIGHT NOW, BESIDES NASA ARE 467 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:54,623 PERSEVERANCE? 468 00:22:54,706 --> 00:22:55,874 >> WHINA IS UP THERE. 469 00:22:55,957 --> 00:22:59,628 AND THE UNITED ARAB EMIRATES, THE FIRST TIME AN ARAB STATE HAS 470 00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:00,462 REACHED MARS. 471 00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:02,464 AND SO, YEAH, IT'S ALL VERY EXCITING. 472 00:23:02,547 --> 00:23:05,967 >> Stephen: ARE THEY-- ARE THEY IN ORBIT AROUND MARS OR HAS 473 00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:07,010 ANYBODY GONE DOWN█ç BESIDES US? 474 00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:11,598 >> SO CHINA HAS AN ORBITER, A LANDER, AND A ROVER. 475 00:23:11,681 --> 00:23:15,143 THE UNITED ARAB EMIRATES HAS AN ORBITER THAT'S SPECIFICALLY 476 00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:18,146 TUNED TO LOOK AT AND SAMPLE THE ATMOSPHERE. 477 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:21,066 BECAUSE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED-- I DON'T WANT TO VALUE JUDGE IT. 478 00:23:21,149 --> 00:23:23,860 SOMETHING HAPPENED ON MARS WHERE MARS USED TO HAVE LIQUID RUNNING 479 00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:26,780 WATER ON ITS SURFACE, AND NOW IT'S BONE DRY. 480 00:23:26,863 --> 00:23:30,158 SO THEY'RE GOING TO STUDY THE OUTER ATMOSPHERE OF MARS JUST TO 481 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:34,162 SEE IF THERE ARE CLUES THERE AS TO WHAT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED TO 482 00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:36,164 MARS IN THE PAST. 483 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:39,167 WE SENT A ROVER, PERSEVERANCE ROVER, WHICH MY FAVORITE PART OF 484 00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:40,710 IT, IT'S GOT A HELICOPTER. 485 00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:42,712 IT'S-- IT'S BAD-ASS. 486 00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:46,174 IT'S GOT A HELICOPTER AND ENGINEERS THOUGHT THIS THROUGH 487 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:49,344 BECAUSE THE MARTIAN ATMOSPHERE IS MUCH THINNER THAN ON EARTH. 488 00:23:49,427 --> 00:23:52,556 IF YOU'RE GOING TO LIFT A PAYLOAD YOU NEED WIDER ROTOR 489 00:23:52,639 --> 00:23:55,725 BLADES, AND YOU HAVE TO SPIN THEM FASTER. 490 00:23:55,809 --> 00:24:00,397 BUT GRAVITY ON MARS IS LESS, SO THAT HELPS YOU OUT. 491 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:04,651 IT'S MOSTLY AN ENGINEERING DEMONSTRATION, BECAUSE IF THAT 492 00:24:04,734 --> 00:24:07,195 WORKS, YOU'RE NO LONGER LIMITED TO LOW SLOW-MOVING ROVERS. 493 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:08,405 YOU CAN DROP INSIDE A CRATER, BACK OUT. 494 00:24:08,488 --> 00:24:10,657 SO I'M READY FOR THIS. 495 00:24:10,740 --> 00:24:18,206 >> Stephen: HOW DOES IT GET BACK TO THE ROVER ITSELF? 496 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,000 IS THERE G.P.S. ON MARS? 497 00:24:20,083 --> 00:24:22,335 LIKE, WHAT'S-- HOW DOES IT ORIENT ITSELF? 498 00:24:22,419 --> 00:24:26,214 >> THERE ARE WAYS TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU'RE NOT ON EARTH, AND 499 00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:29,718 SOMETIMES YOU USE STARS OKAY TO TRIANGULATE YOUR POSITION, JUST 500 00:24:29,801 --> 00:24:33,430 LIKE THE OLDEN DAYS HERE ON EARTH. 501 00:24:33,513 --> 00:24:36,683 STONE NAVIGATION USED TO BE THE ONLY WAY TO FIND YOUR WAY TO 502 00:24:36,766 --> 00:24:37,934 GRANDMA'S█ç HOUSE. 503 00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:40,562 BUT ON MARS, THE COORDINATES OF WHERE YOU ARE, IT KNOWS HOW FAR 504 00:24:40,645 --> 00:24:43,106 IT GOES IN ANY DIRECTION, UP OR DOWN. 505 00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:44,691 THAT WHOLE COORDINATE SYSTEM IS ESTABLISHED ON LANDING. 506 00:24:44,774 --> 00:24:48,069 SO THAT'S NOT-- THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM. 507 00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:49,237 WE'VE GOT THAT. 508 00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:50,405 WE GOT THAT. 509 00:24:50,488 --> 00:24:52,741 >> Stephen: OKAY, GOOD, GOOD, YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL, MAN. 510 00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:55,869 >> I HAVE TO SAY, WE HAVE THREE MISSIONS TO MARS AND IT'S NOT AN 511 00:24:55,952 --> 00:24:57,579 ACCIDENT THEY ALL KIND OF LANDED TOGETHER BECAUSE THE ORIENTATION 512 00:24:57,662 --> 00:25:04,920 OF EARTH AND MARS IN ORBIT IS FAVORABLE FOR A LOW-ENERGY TRIP 513 00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:07,422 BETWEEN EARTH AND MARS ONCE EVERY 26 MONTHS. 514 00:25:07,505 --> 00:25:10,091 SO EVERYBODY LAUNCHES AT AROUND THE SAME TIME. 515 00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,551 AND, OF COURSE, THEY'LL GET THERE AT AROUND THE SAME TIME. 516 00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:13,637 SO THAT'S WHY -- >> Stephen: WHAT WAS YOUR 517 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:18,767 REACTION-- I LOVE THE VIDEO, THE ACTUAL-- THE ROVER CAPSULE, AS 518 00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:23,647 IT CAME IN, SHOT OF ITS-- OF ITS ENTRY INTO THE MARTIAN 519 00:25:23,730 --> 00:25:28,526 ATMOSPHERE, AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THOSE PARACHUTES DEPLOYED. 520 00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:30,862 I JUST ABOUT BURST INTO TEARS. 521 00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:32,447 IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. 522 00:25:32,530 --> 00:25:35,450 >> OH, IT'S SO-- IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. 523 00:25:35,533 --> 00:25:38,745 AND IT'S ABOUT TIME NASA PUT MORE CAMERAS UP THERE, RATHER 524 00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:43,291 THAN JUST THE SCIENTIFIC ONES THAT ARE AT BASE CAMP. 525 00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:49,839 LET US EXPERIENCE, YOU KNOW, THOSE MOMENTS OF TERROR IN THE 526 00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:51,633 ARROW BREAKING COMING INTO MARS. 527 00:25:51,716 --> 00:25:52,842 LET US PARTICIPATE IN THAT. 528 00:25:52,926 --> 00:25:54,302 WE HAVE THE POWER TO DO THAT. 529 00:25:54,386 --> 00:26:00,308 THE WEIGHT OF THOSE CAMS ARE SMALL COMPARED TO THE 530 00:26:00,392 --> 00:26:02,394 S.U.V.-WEIGHT OF THE THING GETTING PLUNKED DOWN ON MARS. 531 00:26:02,477 --> 00:26:03,186 YEAH. 532 00:26:03,270 --> 00:26:03,687 PLUS, WE CAN HAVE SOUNDS FROM MARS. 533 00:26:03,770 --> 00:26:04,854 >> Stephen: I KNOW. 534 00:26:04,938 --> 00:26:09,985 >> IT'S JUST EXTENDING OUR SENSES SO THE ROBOT BECOMES MORE 535 00:26:10,068 --> 00:26:12,654 OF AN EMISSARY OF HUMANS RATHER THAN SOME DISTANT, SEPARATED, 536 00:26:12,737 --> 00:26:14,406 SCIENTIFIC INSTRUMENT. 537 00:26:14,489 --> 00:26:17,200 AND IT BECOMES WAY COOLER. 538 00:26:17,284 --> 00:26:22,831 WAY MORE IMPORTANT FOR NASA TO-- TO-- TO GET RECOGNIZED AS A-- AS 539 00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:27,168 SOMETHING THAT WE ALL PARTICIPATE IN AS A COLLECTIVE 540 00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:29,337 EXPLORERS ON THE SURFACE OF ANOTHER PLANET. 541 00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:31,089 >> Stephen: EVERYBODY'S GOING UP THERE. 542 00:26:31,172 --> 00:26:33,008 WHY ARE PEOPLE GOING TO MARS NOW? 543 00:26:33,091 --> 00:26:37,012 AND I DON'T MEAN JUST LIKE BECAUSE IT'S CLOSEST TO EARTH 544 00:26:37,095 --> 00:26:38,221 AND ITS ORBIT AROUND THE SUN. 545 00:26:38,305 --> 00:26:42,350 I MEAN, WHY ARE THESE COUNTRIES ALL EAGER TO GO UP THERE? 546 00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:45,645 IS IT BECAUSE WE KNOW THERE'S GOING TO BE SIGNS OF LIFE UP 547 00:26:45,729 --> 00:26:46,229 THERE? 548 00:26:46,313 --> 00:26:46,938 BECAUSE HERE'S MY THEORY. 549 00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:49,149 OKAY, FIRST, PEOPLE INTO ORBIT. 550 00:26:49,232 --> 00:26:50,233 THAT'S A BIG PRIZE. 551 00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:52,402 FIRST MAN ON THE MOON, THAT'S A BIG PRIZE. 552 00:26:52,485 --> 00:26:53,903 WHAT'S THE NEXT BIG PRIZE? 553 00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:56,323 IS IT PUTTING A MAN ON MARS? 554 00:26:56,406 --> 00:26:57,490 OKAY. 555 00:26:57,574 --> 00:27:00,869 BUT WE PUT A MAN OR AN ASTRONAUT ON ANOTHER CELESTIAL BODY. 556 00:27:00,952 --> 00:27:02,912 IT'S FINDING EVIDENCE OF LIFE. 557 00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:05,874 ISN'T THAT THE NEXT BIG BRASS RING HERE? 558 00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:08,835 DOESN'T EVERY COUNTRY WANT TO BE THE ONES TO SAY THEY FOUND IT? 559 00:27:08,918 --> 00:27:12,339 >> I'M NOT AUTHORIZED TO ANSWER THAT. 560 00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:13,006 NEXT QUESTION. 561 00:27:13,089 --> 00:27:14,049 >> Stephen: BECAUSE I'M RIGHT! 562 00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:14,883 I'M RIGHT! 563 00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:17,677 HERE'S MY THEORY-- HERE'S MY THEORY. 564 00:27:17,761 --> 00:27:20,388 MY THEORY IS THAT Y'ALL KNOW IT'S UP THERE. 565 00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:21,473 Y'ALL KNOW THERE'S EVIDENCE. 566 00:27:21,556 --> 00:27:23,933 YOU DON'T HAVE SUFFICIENT EVIDENCE TO PRESENT TO THE 567 00:27:24,017 --> 00:27:27,520 PUBLIC OR YOU DON'T WANT TO FREAK US OUT. 568 00:27:27,604 --> 00:27:30,565 BUT THE CHINESE KNOW, THE E.A.E. 569 00:27:30,648 --> 00:27:31,024 PEEK KNOW. 570 00:27:31,107 --> 00:27:32,233 THE INDIANS KNOW. 571 00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:33,443 WE KNOW. 572 00:27:33,526 --> 00:27:37,072 WE'RE RACING UP THERE TO BE THE PEOPLE TO BRING BACK THE ROCK. 573 00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:39,574 LOOK, YOU FOUND IT, BUT YOU WON'T TELL UZ RUBES. 574 00:27:39,657 --> 00:27:46,748 >> OR THE REST OF THE WORLD IS FIG OTHER OUT HOW AND WAY TO -- 575 00:27:46,831 --> 00:27:49,042 >> Stephen: LIFE! 576 00:27:49,125 --> 00:27:50,418 THERE'S LIFE UP THERE! 577 00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:54,005 >> OR, THE REST OF THE WORLD IS GETTING TECHNOLOGICAL. 578 00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:58,259 WE ARE NO LONGER THE SOLE OWNERS OF SPACE. 579 00:27:58,343 --> 00:27:58,760 I'M JUST SAYING. 580 00:27:58,843 --> 00:27:59,928 >> Stephen: OKAY. 581 00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:00,720 >> GET OVER IT. 582 00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:01,346 >> Stephen: I WON'T. 583 00:28:01,429 --> 00:28:01,930 I WON'T. 584 00:28:02,013 --> 00:28:03,264 YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT. 585 00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:05,934 I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY IN THE FUTURE WHEN I COME BACK ON AND 586 00:28:06,017 --> 00:28:07,727 SAY, "I KNEW THERE WAS LIFE BUT I COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE 587 00:28:07,811 --> 00:28:10,939 I WAS SWORN TO SECRECY." 588 00:28:11,022 --> 00:28:12,732 >> I DON'T DO FUTURE APOLOGIES. 589 00:28:12,816 --> 00:28:17,404 >> Stephen: YOU WILL, IN THE FUTURE. 590 00:28:17,487 --> 00:28:20,281 OKAY, IT USED TO BE GOVERNMENTS DID THE EXPLORATION. 591 00:28:20,365 --> 00:28:24,327 NOW, A LOT OF PRIVATE INDUSTRY-- FOR INSTANCE, IT WAS JUST 592 00:28:24,411 --> 00:28:27,455 ANNOUNCED TODAY IN 2025 THEY'RE GOING TO START BUILDING A SPACE 593 00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:28,123 HOTEL. 594 00:28:28,206 --> 00:28:30,834 ARE YOU READY TO BOOK A ROOM? 595 00:28:30,917 --> 00:28:35,505 >> SURE, BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU, IT WOULD HAVE TO HAVE 596 00:28:35,588 --> 00:28:38,591 RESTAURANTS AND STUFF AND OTHER SORT OF TRAPPINGS -- 597 00:28:38,675 --> 00:28:41,469 >> Stephen: IT'S GOING TO HAVE BASKETBALLS THAT YOU CAN DUNK. 598 00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:42,595 IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT. 599 00:28:42,679 --> 00:28:44,848 >> THE PROBLEM IS THE RESTAURANTS MIGHT NOT HAVE MUCH 600 00:28:44,931 --> 00:28:46,307 OF AN ATMOSPHERE, I THINK. 601 00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:48,017 >> Stephen: THEY'RE GOING TO SPIN IT, BABY. 602 00:28:48,101 --> 00:28:48,309 OH, I SEE. 603 00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:48,935 I SEE. 604 00:28:49,018 --> 00:28:50,478 YOU GOT ME! 605 00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:52,313 YOU GOT ME! 606 00:28:52,397 --> 00:28:58,486 ( LAUGHING ) >> I-- I THOUGHT YOU WERE 607 00:28:58,570 --> 00:28:59,529 QUICKER THAN THAT, STEPHEN. 608 00:28:59,612 --> 00:29:01,281 >> Stephen: I'M NOT, NOT TONIGHT, MAN. 609 00:29:01,364 --> 00:29:01,865 NOT TONIGHT. 610 00:29:01,948 --> 00:29:03,241 >> WAIT, JUST TO BE CLEAR. 611 00:29:03,324 --> 00:29:06,453 A HOTEL IS NOT THE SAME THING AS SPACE EXPLORATION. 612 00:29:06,536 --> 00:29:08,580 THE EXPLORATION WILL LIKELY STILL OCCUR BY GOVERNMENT S. 613 00:29:08,663 --> 00:29:09,497 >> Stephen: OKAY. 614 00:29:09,581 --> 00:29:12,000 >> BUT WHEN YOU START TURNING IT INTO TOUR. 615 00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:14,961 AND I HOTELS AND THEME PARKS, YEAH, I'M ALL FOR IT. 616 00:29:15,044 --> 00:29:26,306 >> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT-- WHAT ABOUT-- WHAT ABOUT GUYS LIKE 617 00:29:26,389 --> 00:29:27,474 BASISOSE OR BRANSON OR MUSK. 618 00:29:27,557 --> 00:29:30,185 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF PRIVATE INDUSTRY BEING THE FRONTIER OF 619 00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:31,352 ROCKET DEVELOPMENT RIGHT NOW? 620 00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:35,857 >> THAT'S FINE, BUT MY READ OF HISTORY TELLS ME HE'S NOT 621 00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:36,858 SENDING THE ROCKET ANYWHERE FIRST, BECAUSE THAT'S EXPENSIVE, 622 00:29:36,941 --> 00:29:42,197 AND IT'S A VERY SHORT VENTURE CAPITALIST MEETING. 623 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,032 "ELON WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? 624 00:29:44,115 --> 00:29:45,325 SEND HUMANS TO MARS. 625 00:29:45,408 --> 00:29:47,410 HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? 626 00:29:47,494 --> 00:29:47,827 TRILLIONS. 627 00:29:47,911 --> 00:29:48,661 I DON'T KNOW. 628 00:29:48,745 --> 00:29:49,829 WILL PEOPLE DIE? 629 00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:51,080 PROBABLY. 630 00:29:51,164 --> 00:29:53,041 THAT'S A FIVE-MINUTE MEETING IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A BUSINESS CASE 631 00:29:53,124 --> 00:29:54,542 FOR IT. 632 00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:56,586 THERE'S NO R.O.I. TO DO IT FIRST. 633 00:29:56,669 --> 00:29:59,547 GOVERNMENTS DO IT FIRST BECAUSE THEY HAVE GEOPOLITICAL REASONS 634 00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:01,591 FOR WANTING TO DO THESE KINDS OF THINGS. 635 00:30:01,674 --> 00:30:03,760 >> Stephen: THEY WANT TO GET THERE FIRST TO FIND OUT THERE'S 636 00:30:03,843 --> 00:30:04,886 ALREADY LIFE THERE. 637 00:30:04,969 --> 00:30:05,428 RIGHT. 638 00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:06,721 >> YOU'LL GET OVER IT. 639 00:30:06,804 --> 00:30:07,555 >> Stephen: I WON'T. 640 00:30:07,639 --> 00:30:08,765 I WON'T. 641 00:30:08,848 --> 00:30:11,351 I CAN'T WAIT-- OH, I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL YOU COME BACK HERE AND 642 00:30:11,434 --> 00:30:12,477 ADMIT THAT I WAS RIGHT! 643 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:15,522 >> SO WHAT WILL HAPPEN IS-- SO HERE'S WHAT COULD HAPPEN. 644 00:30:15,605 --> 00:30:17,774 WE DECIDE AS A COUNTRY WE WANT TO SEND ASTRONAUTS TO MARS. 645 00:30:17,857 --> 00:30:19,567 BUT WE DON'T HAVE A SPACESHIP. 646 00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:21,945 SO ELON SAYS, "I'VE GOT A SPACE SHIP." 647 00:30:22,028 --> 00:30:25,281 AND THEN HE SELLS THE SPACE SHIP TO NASA. 648 00:30:25,365 --> 00:30:26,282 THAT COULD HAPPEN. 649 00:30:26,366 --> 00:30:26,824 THAT'S A BUSINESS CASE. 650 00:30:26,908 --> 00:30:27,575 THAT'S FINE. 651 00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:28,493 THAT COULD HAPPEN. 652 00:30:28,576 --> 00:30:29,577 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. 653 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:34,624 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL TALK ABOUT NEIL'S NEW BOOK 654 00:30:34,707 --> 00:30:36,292 "COSMIC QUERIES," AND HOW THE UNIVERSE ENDS. 655 00:30:36,376 --> 00:30:37,001 IT WILL BE FUN. 656 00:30:37,085 --> 00:30:40,421 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 657 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:56,437 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. 658 00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:57,730 WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF "COSMIC QUERIES," NEIL deGRASSE 659 00:30:57,814 --> 00:30:58,273 TYSON. 660 00:30:58,356 --> 00:30:59,899 YOU GOT A NEW BOOK HERE. 661 00:30:59,983 --> 00:31:02,402 IT'S OUT TODAY. 662 00:31:02,485 --> 00:31:06,322 IT'S CALLED "COSMIC QUERIES," OKAY, ADDRESSING QUESTIONS LIKE, 663 00:31:06,406 --> 00:31:08,241 "WHAT IS LIFE? 664 00:31:08,324 --> 00:31:11,911 HOW DID IT ALL BEGIN? 665 00:31:11,995 --> 00:31:15,999 WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BIG QUESTION TO PONDER, NEIL TYSON? 666 00:31:16,082 --> 00:31:21,462 >> YEAH, SO, I HAVE MANY BIG QUESTIONS TO PONDER. 667 00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:23,965 WHAT I LIKE ABOUT BIG QUESTIONS IS THAT THEY DON'T-- YOU CAN'T 668 00:31:24,048 --> 00:31:27,176 SEAL THEM UP IN A TIDY ANSWER. 669 00:31:27,260 --> 00:31:30,471 THEY'RE THESE DANGLING EDGES THAT FORCE YOU TO KEEP THINKING 670 00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:31,973 AND ADDING PIECES AND PARTS TO IT. 671 00:31:32,056 --> 00:31:35,268 SO, FOR EXAMPLE, HOW WILL IT ALL END? 672 00:31:35,351 --> 00:31:36,185 ALL RIGHT. 673 00:31:36,269 --> 00:31:37,979 SO THERE'S HOW EARTH ENDS, BUT THAT'S BORING. 674 00:31:38,062 --> 00:31:39,105 WE ALREADY KNOW THAT. 675 00:31:39,188 --> 00:31:41,024 BUT HOW WILL THE UNIVERSE -- >> Stephen: WAIT, HOW WILL 676 00:31:41,107 --> 00:31:41,524 EARTH END? 677 00:31:41,608 --> 00:31:43,651 >> WE GOT THIS ONE. 678 00:31:43,735 --> 00:31:45,653 I WANT TO GET TO-- OKAY. 679 00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:46,112 >> Stephen: ONE SENTENCE. 680 00:31:46,195 --> 00:31:48,197 COME ON, WHATEVER. 681 00:31:48,281 --> 00:31:49,657 THE SUN EXPANDS? 682 00:31:49,741 --> 00:31:50,283 THE SUN EXPANDS? 683 00:31:50,366 --> 00:31:52,035 >> YEAH, THE SUN EXPANDS. 684 00:31:52,118 --> 00:31:53,786 >> Stephen: FINE, MOVE ON. 685 00:31:53,870 --> 00:31:54,704 WAS THAT SO HARD? 686 00:31:54,787 --> 00:31:55,872 >> IT'S DEADLY. 687 00:31:55,955 --> 00:32:01,628 SO THE SUN EXPANDS, EARTH GETS HOT, OCEANS ENTER A ROLLING 688 00:32:01,711 --> 00:32:03,338 BOIL, EVAPORATE INTO THE ATMOSPHERE. 689 00:32:03,421 --> 00:32:05,131 THE ATMOSPHERE EVAPORATES INTO SPACE. 690 00:32:05,214 --> 00:32:11,054 AND EARTH BECOMES THIS CHARRED EMBER AS WE DESCEND INTO THE 691 00:32:11,137 --> 00:32:13,973 CALDERON THAT IS THE SURFACE OF THE SUN. 692 00:32:14,057 --> 00:32:16,351 AND IT IS THERE THAT WE VAPORIZE. 693 00:32:16,434 --> 00:32:17,810 >> Stephen: THAT'S ALL, FOLKS. 694 00:32:17,894 --> 00:32:19,354 OKAY, NOW WHAT'S THE BIG ENDING YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT? 695 00:32:19,437 --> 00:32:23,149 >> THE BIG ENDING-- NO, THE UNIVERSE IS ACCELERATING IN ITS 696 00:32:23,232 --> 00:32:24,025 EXPANSION, WHICH SOUNDS PEACEFUL ENOUGH, OKAY. 697 00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:27,820 I DON'T-- I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT. 698 00:32:27,904 --> 00:32:32,033 UNTIL YOU REALIZE THAT THAT ACCELERATION WILL NOT ONLY 699 00:32:32,116 --> 00:32:38,539 OCCUPANT STRIP ALL GRAVITATIONAL FORCES CURRENTLY HOLDING THINGS 700 00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:39,749 TOGETHER. 701 00:32:39,832 --> 00:32:42,377 IF THAT ACCELERATION CONTINUES -- AND THERE'S NO REAL REASON TO 702 00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:46,172 DOUBT IT AT THIS POINT-- IT WILL EVENTUALLY OVERCOME MOLECULAR 703 00:32:46,255 --> 00:32:48,508 BONDS THAT ARE HOLDING YOUR FLESH TOGETHER. 704 00:32:48,591 --> 00:32:50,343 >> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND-- >> I'M NOT DONE. 705 00:32:50,426 --> 00:32:52,470 >> Stephen: ARE YOU SAYING I'M EXPANDING, TOO? 706 00:32:52,553 --> 00:32:55,723 >> NOT YET, BECAUSE THE MOLECULAR FORCES REMAIN STRONGER 707 00:32:55,807 --> 00:32:57,767 THAN THE ACCELERATING FORCES IN THE UNIVERSE. 708 00:32:57,850 --> 00:33:02,397 BUT THE ACCELERATING FORCES WILL CONTINUE TO GAIN STRENGTH AS WE 709 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:03,231 EXPAND. 710 00:33:03,314 --> 00:33:04,774 BECAUSE IT'S A PROPERTY OF THE VACUUM. 711 00:33:04,857 --> 00:33:07,735 AND THE BIGGER THE UNIVERSE, IS THE MORE VACUUM WE HAVE. 712 00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:11,948 ASK THIS WILL CONTINUE, RIP YOUR MOLECULES APART, AND THEN IT 713 00:33:12,031 --> 00:33:14,075 WILL RIP YOUR ATOMS APART. 714 00:33:14,158 --> 00:33:18,079 AND THEN THERE'S A POINT WHERE IT RIPS-- I SHOULDN'T SAY RIP. 715 00:33:18,162 --> 00:33:19,288 IT SEPARATES THEM. 716 00:33:19,372 --> 00:33:21,124 THEN THE VERY FABRIC OF SPACE AND TIME ITSELF WILL FALL VICTIM 717 00:33:21,207 --> 00:33:21,833 TO THIS EXPANSION. 718 00:33:21,916 --> 00:33:24,919 AND WE CALL THAT "THE BIG RIP." 719 00:33:25,002 --> 00:33:29,590 AND I AM TERRIFIED WHAT THAT WOULD LOOK LIKE AND WHAT WOULD 720 00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:30,758 FEEL LIKE. 721 00:33:30,842 --> 00:33:35,722 AND I LAY WEAK AT NIGHT LOOKING UP AT THE CEILING WONDERING. 722 00:33:35,805 --> 00:33:37,056 >> Stephen: WOULDN'T THERE BE SOME TREMENDOUS RELEASE OF 723 00:33:37,140 --> 00:33:39,016 ENERGY ON EACH OF THESE BONDS BEING TORN? 724 00:33:39,100 --> 00:33:43,062 >> SO, WHAT HAPPENS IS YOU GET THE-- SO, THERE ARE OTHER 725 00:33:43,146 --> 00:33:45,690 SCENARIOS IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE YOU HAVE TREMENDOUS RELEASES OF 726 00:33:45,773 --> 00:33:47,775 ENERGY, AND YOU MAKE BASICALLY OTHER BIG BANGZ. 727 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:50,611 THIS IS HOW YOU GET THE MULTIVERSE. 728 00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:53,448 BY THE WAY, THERE ARE LAYERS OF MULTIVERSES THAT ARE CURRENTLY 729 00:33:53,531 --> 00:33:54,991 -- >> Stephen: DID I JUST-- DID I 730 00:33:55,074 --> 00:33:59,162 JUST REASON MY WAY TONDING THE MULTIVERSE, NEIL? 731 00:33:59,245 --> 00:34:00,371 >> A LITTLE BIT. 732 00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:05,168 YOU WERE-- I WILL GIVE YOU A B-PLUS ON WHERE YOU WERE HEADED. 733 00:34:05,251 --> 00:34:08,755 >> Stephen: I BOAT A BITTY VERSE, A LITTLE BITTY VERSE. 734 00:34:08,838 --> 00:34:11,674 >> A B-PLUS AVERSE. 735 00:34:11,758 --> 00:34:13,176 >> Stephen: WHY ARE THESE EXPANSIONS ACCELERATING? 736 00:34:13,259 --> 00:34:15,136 >> WELL, WE DON'T KNOW, BUT IT IS. 737 00:34:15,219 --> 00:34:16,179 WE MEASURE IT. 738 00:34:16,262 --> 00:34:21,267 AND WE CALL THE THING THAT'S MAKING THAT HAPPEN "DARK 739 00:34:21,350 --> 00:34:21,809 ENERGY." 740 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:22,852 WE COULD CALL IT FRED. 741 00:34:22,935 --> 00:34:27,273 IT IS DARK, AND WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S MADE OF OF. 742 00:34:27,356 --> 00:34:30,651 IT'S CALLED DARK ENERGY, BUT WE DON'T REALLY KNOW-- BUT WE CAN 743 00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:32,653 MEASURE IT AND WE KNOW IT'S REAL. 744 00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:35,323 AND IT IS HAPPENING, AND IT IS CURRENTLY OUTSTRIPPING GRAVITY 745 00:34:35,406 --> 00:34:36,657 IN THE LARGEST OF SCALES. 746 00:34:36,741 --> 00:34:41,204 SO, YEAH-- SO, SO-- IF WE DON'T HAVE THE BIG RIP AND WE JUST 747 00:34:41,287 --> 00:34:46,125 EXPAND INTO WHAT WE CALL THE HEAT DEATH, WHERE WE APPROACH 748 00:34:46,209 --> 00:34:49,837 ABSOLUTELY ZERO AND NOTHING HAPPENS, THEN THE-- HOW WILL THE 749 00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:50,588 WORLD END? 750 00:34:50,671 --> 00:34:52,673 NOT WITH A BANG BUT WITH A WHIMPER. 751 00:34:52,757 --> 00:34:54,050 NOT IN FIRE, BUT IN ICE. 752 00:34:54,133 --> 00:34:58,054 >> Stephen: WELL, NEIL, ON THAT POETIC NOTE, THANK YOU SO 753 00:34:58,137 --> 00:35:05,520 MUCH FOR BEING HERE "COSMIC QUERIES: STARTALK'S 754 00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:08,314 GUIDE TO WHO WE ARE, HOW WE GOT HERE, AND WHERE WE'RE GOING" IS 755 00:35:08,397 --> 00:35:09,273 AVAILABLE NOW. 756 00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:10,149 PONDER THE BIGGIES WITH NEIL deGRASSE TYSON. 757 00:35:10,233 --> 00:35:13,820 >> IF I CAN LEAVE YOU WITH ONE THOUGHT. 758 00:35:13,903 --> 00:35:18,199 LEARN TO LOVE THE QUESTIONS THEMSELVES. 759 00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:22,620 BECAUSE THEREIN ARE THE SEEDS OF ALL CURIOSITY AND WONDER. 760 00:35:22,703 --> 00:35:25,581 >> Stephen: WHY SHOULD I? 761 00:35:25,665 --> 00:35:29,710 ( LAUGHS ) WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A 762 00:35:29,794 --> 00:35:32,088 SPECIAL PERFORMANCE BY JON BATISTE. 763 00:35:32,171 --> 00:35:34,132 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 764 00:35:40,304 --> 00:35:45,768 ♪♪ 765 00:35:45,852 --> 00:35:46,519 ♪ ♪ ♪ OF THE ORDNANCES THAT THEY HAVE 766 00:36:00,324 --> 00:36:02,577 AS THEIR PRIVATE PROPERTY. 767 00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:06,080 SO, PLEASE, EVERYONE, WHEN YOU'RE IN THE BALLROOM, WHEN 768 00:36:06,163 --> 00:36:09,917 YOU'RE SEATED, YOU SHOULD STILL BE WEARING A MASK. 769 00:36:10,001 --> 00:36:13,045 >> OH, SO JUST BECAUSE I'M IN A PRIVATE HOTEL I CAN'T WALK 770 00:36:13,129 --> 00:36:14,547 AROUND WITHOUT A MASK. 771 00:36:14,630 --> 00:36:20,469 OR SHOW OFF MY NAIL GUN OR WEAR MY FLAME-THROWING NIPPLES OR 772 00:36:20,553 --> 00:36:21,721 ANGRY HORNET NEST PANTS. 773 00:36:21,804 --> 00:36:25,016 EVERYONE SING THE AMERICA SONG ♪ BASEBALL PARK IN THE FOOTBALL 774 00:36:25,099 --> 00:36:27,143 TREE IT'S THE MOST FREEDOMMEST PLACE 775 00:36:27,226 --> 00:36:30,605 IN THE WORLD ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 776 00:36:30,688 --> 00:36:32,899 ♪ ♪ ♪ 777 00:36:39,739 --> 00:36:41,741 >> Stephen: AND NOW, PERFORMING "I NEED YOU" FROM HIS 778 00:36:41,824 --> 00:36:43,784 FORTHCOMING ALBUM, "WE ARE," LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JON 779 00:36:43,868 --> 00:36:47,914 BATISTE. 780 00:36:47,997 --> 00:36:54,045 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 781 00:36:54,128 --> 00:36:58,007 ♪ WE DONE A LOT OF LIVING WE WORKING OVERTIME 782 00:36:58,090 --> 00:37:02,011 ♪ DON'T NEED ANOTHER MILLION YOU GOT THAT GOLD MINE 783 00:37:02,094 --> 00:37:06,057 ♪ I LOVE THE WAY YOU'RE LIVIN' 'CAUSE YOU SO GENUINE 784 00:37:06,140 --> 00:37:10,144 ♪ YOU GOT THAT SOMETHING SPECIAL DIDN'T YOU KNOW? 785 00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:18,069 ♪ I JUST NEED YOU, YOU, YOU MET YOU WHEN I WAS 786 00:37:18,152 --> 00:37:19,320 ♪ A LIL' COUNTRY HEAD BOY AND I NEVER PUT DOWN MY 787 00:37:19,403 --> 00:37:21,781 ♪ ALTO SAXOPHONE, YEAH BUCKJUMPIN' DOWN ON 788 00:37:21,864 --> 00:37:22,740 ♪ THE BOULEVARD I COULDN'T WAIT TO 789 00:37:22,823 --> 00:37:24,617 ♪ BLOW MY OWN HORN, WOO IT AIN'T WRONG FOR YOU 790 00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:25,493 ♪ TO PLAY ALONG PLAYING THIS SONG 791 00:37:25,576 --> 00:37:29,997 ♪ 'TIL YOU DIE, COME ON IN THIS WORLD WITH 792 00:37:30,081 --> 00:37:33,960 ♪ A LOT OF PROBLEMS ALL WE NEED IS 793 00:37:34,043 --> 00:37:36,295 ♪ A LITTLE LOVING THANK YOU, THANK YOU 794 00:37:36,379 --> 00:37:38,005 ♪ OH, YOU MAKE ME THANK YOU, THANK YOU 795 00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:42,009 ♪ FOR YOUR LOVE WE DONE A LOT OF LIVING 796 00:37:42,093 --> 00:37:46,138 ♪ WE WORKING OVERTIME DON'T NEED ANOTHER MILLION 797 00:37:46,222 --> 00:37:50,059 ♪ YOU GOT THAT GOLD MINE I LOVE THE WAY YOU'RE LIVIN' 798 00:37:50,142 --> 00:37:53,354 ♪ HEY, 'CAUSE YOU'RE SO GENUINE, GENUINE 799 00:37:53,437 --> 00:37:58,109 ♪ YOU GOT THAT SOMETHING SPECIAL DIDN'T YOU KNOW? 800 00:37:58,192 --> 00:38:02,029 ♪ I JUST NEED YOU, YOU, YOU ♪ MET YOU WHEN I WAS 801 00:38:02,113 --> 00:38:04,198 A LIL' COUNTRY BOY ♪ AND I NEVER PUT DOWN 802 00:38:04,281 --> 00:38:06,033 THAT PORK CHOP AND SALT ♪ THEN WE FELL IN LOVE 803 00:38:06,117 --> 00:38:08,411 ON THE BOULEVARD ♪ IF YOU WAS JENNY 804 00:38:08,494 --> 00:38:10,162 I GUESS I WAS FORREST, RUN ♪ NAH, IT AIN'T WRONG 805 00:38:10,246 --> 00:38:12,581 FOR YOU TO SING ALONG ♪ SINGING THIS SONG 806 00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:16,252 'TIL YOU DIE ♪ IN THIS WORLD WITH 807 00:38:16,335 --> 00:38:20,881 A LOT OF PROBLEMS ♪ ALL WE NEED IS 808 00:38:20,965 --> 00:38:24,385 A LITTLE LOVING ♪ THANK YOU, THANK YOU 809 00:38:24,468 --> 00:38:24,719 OH, YOU MAKE ME COME ON Y'ALL 810 00:38:24,802 --> 00:38:25,678 COME ON. 811 00:38:25,761 --> 00:38:28,222 I WANT TO HEAR YOU ALL ♪ THANK YOU, THANK YOU 812 00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:30,099 FOR YOUR LOVE ♪ WE DONE A LOT OF LIVING 813 00:38:30,182 --> 00:38:32,935 WHOLE LOTTA ♪ WE WORKING OVERTIME 814 00:38:33,019 --> 00:38:35,938 ♪ DON'T NEED ANOTHER MILLION YOU GOT THAT GOLD MINE 815 00:38:36,022 --> 00:38:42,069 I LOVE THE WAY YOU'RE LIVIN' ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE SO GENUINE 816 00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:49,410 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 817 00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:54,123 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 818 00:38:54,206 --> 00:38:55,541 ♪ ♪ ♪ YEAH, YEAH I NEED YOU, YEAH, 819 00:38:55,624 --> 00:38:56,959 YEAH. 820 00:38:57,043 --> 00:39:04,341 ♪ I NEED YOU ♪ I JUST NEED YOU, YOU, YOU 821 00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:06,761 ♪ WE DONE A LOT OF LIVING ♪ WE WORKING OVERTIME 822 00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:11,098 ♪ DON'T NEED ANOTHER MILLION YOU GOT THAT GOLD MINE 823 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:18,105 YOU, YOU, YOU YOU, YOU, YOU 824 00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:19,648 YOU ♪ >> Stephen: JON BATISTE, 825 00:39:19,732 --> 00:39:22,151 EVERYBODY. 826 00:39:22,234 --> 00:39:24,904 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 827 00:39:24,987 --> 00:39:25,029 ( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 828 00:39:33,704 --> 00:39:35,915 >> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY. 829 00:39:35,998 --> 00:39:37,500 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE STAR OF "WANDAVISION," 830 00:39:37,583 --> 00:39:40,336 PAUL BETTANY, AND MUSICAL GUEST, METALLICA. 831 00:39:40,419 --> 00:39:42,421 JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. 832 00:39:42,505 --> 00:39:44,381 GOOD NIGHT. 833 00:39:47,176 --> 00:39:48,177 >> HA! 834 00:39:48,260 --> 00:39:51,263 ♪ UP, UP AND AWAY ♪ THAT VEST WOULD HAVE LOOKED GOOD 835 00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:52,431 IN THE FIFTH DIMENSION, TOO. 836 00:39:52,515 --> 00:39:55,768 NOW I KNOW WHERE YOU GET YOUR STYLE FROM. 837 00:39:55,851 --> 00:39:57,394 ( LAUGHTER ) Captioning sponsored by CBS 838 00:39:59,230 --> 00:39:59,980 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 839 00:40:00,064 --> 00:40:03,651 access.wgbh.org ♪ ♪ ♪