HARRY AND MEGHAN MARK EL RIFT WITH BUCKINGHAM PALACE
SUDDENLY ESCALATE ADD HEAD OF OPRAH WINFREY'S EXCLUSIVE
INTERVIEW ON CBS.
NEW ALLEGATIONS THE COUPLE CALLS A CALCULATED SMEAR CAMPAIGN.
>> IT'S GTTING NASTY.
>> ALL RISE FOR HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN.
>> MY LORD AND MEMBERS OF THE HOUSE OF COMMONS, I ILL█ NOW
TEAR THAT YANKEE TRAMP MEGHAN MARKLE A NEW ONE.
AHEM.
MEGHAN MARKLE IS SO FAT.
>> HOW FAT IS SHE?
>> MEGHAN MARK SEL SO FAT THAT WHEN SHE SITS AROUND THE HOUSE
SHE SITS AROUND THE HOUSE.
OF COMMONS WHICH IS QUITE LARGE.
KNOCK KNOCK.
>> WHO'S THERE?
>> HARRY AND MEGHAN.
>> HARRY AND MEGHAN WHO.
>> EXACTLY.
NOBODY CARES SINCE THEY QUIT THE ROYAL FAMILY.
A BOOM, KISS MY BUTT ERRED CRUMPET.
IT'S MY TIME.
REMEMBER TO TIP YOUR FOOTMAN.
>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.
TONIGHT: PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES:
JANE FONDA THE ANCHORS OF "VIRTUE SIGNAL"
AND A MUSICAL PERFORMANCE BY KINGS OF LEON
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN."
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
FOLKS, A LOT HAS CHANGED BECAUSE OF THE ATTACKS ON JANUARY 6:
2021 HOW WE SEE EACH OTHER AS
AMERICANS, MY UNDERWEAR, AND RISK ASSESSMENT.
TODAY WAS A PARTICULARLY TENSE DAY IN WASHINGTON, BECAUSE
YESTERDAY, THE CAPITOL POLICE ANNOUNCED THAT THEY HAD OBTAINED
INTELLIGENCE ABOUT A Q-ANON PLOT TO BREACH THE U.S. CAPITOL.
AGAIN?
COME ON, Q-BEES.
REMEMBER WHAT EINSTEIN SAID, "THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY IS
DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER BUT EXPECTING DIFFERENT
RESULTS.
ALSO, QANON.
THOSE PEOPLE ARE (BLEEP) CRAZY."
BECAUSE THE INAUGURATION USED TO BE ON MARCH 4, ACCORDING TO
Q-SPIRACY THEORISTS, TODAY WAS THE DAY THE FORMER POTUS WOULD
BE RESTORED TO THE PRESIDENCY.
THAT DID NOT HAPPEN.
BUT HE WAS RESTORED AS CUSTOMER OF THE MONTH AT THE PALM BEACH
K.F.C.-TACO BELL.
NOW, WHILE THEY TOOK THESE THREATS SERIOUSLY, FEDERAL
OFFICIALS DID DESCRIBE THEM AS MORE "ASPIRATIONAL" THAN
OPERATONAL.
WHICH EXPLAINS WHY THE Q-ANON MESSAGE BOARDS WERE FILLED WITH
INSPIRATIONAL MESSAGES LIKE: "LIVE, LAUGH, LOOT NANCY
PELOSI'S OFFICE," AND "HANG MIKE PENCE IN THERE, BABY."
WERE THESE PLANS EVER REAL?
WHO KNOWS.
BUT OUT OF AN ABUNDANCE OF CAUTION, THE HOUSE CANCELED
TODAY'S LEGISLATIVE SESSION.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE A DOMESTIC TERRORISM SNOW DAY.
THEY'RE BOTH DANGEROUS AND WHITE.
AND I UNDERSTAND WHY THEY WANT TO BE EXTRA CAUTIOUS.
WE'RE LEARNING MORE ABOUT THE TROUBLING FAILURE TO PROTECT
CONGRESS DURING THE JANUARY 6 RIOT.
FOR INSTANCE, YESTERDAY, THE COMMANDER OF THE D.C. NATIONAL
GUARD TESTIFIED BEFORE THE SENATE ABOUT WHAT DELAYED HIS
TROOPS FROM COMING TO THE RESCUE.
>> AT 1:49 P.M., I RECEIVED A FRANTIC CALL FROM THE CHIEF OF
THE U.S. CAPITOL POLICE STEVEN SUND.
IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT 1:49 CALL, I ALERTED THE U.S. ARMY
SENIOR LEADERSHIP OF THE REQUEST.
THE APPROVAL FOR THE CHIEF'S REQUEST WOULD EVENTUALLY COME
FROM THE ACTING SECRETARY OF DEFENSE AND BE RELAYED TO ME BY
ARMY SENIOR LEADERS AT 5:08 P.M.
ABOUT THREE HOURS AND 19 MINUTES LATER.
>> Stephen: THE PENTAGON DIDN'T SEND HELP FOR THREE HOURS AND 19
MINUTES.
WHEN THE CALL FOR HELP CAME IN, HAD THE JOINT CHIEFS JUST
PRESSED PLAY ON "THE IRISHMAN?" "WHO'S CALLING?
CONGRESS?
LET IT GO TO VOICEMAIL.
I WANT TO SEE YOUNG JOE PESCI!" AND I'M BEING TOLD WE HAVE A
RECORDING OF THE PENTAGON'S VOICEMAIL.
>> THANK YOU FOR CALLING THE PENTAGON.
IF YOU LOST THE KEYS TO YOUR AIRCRAFT CARRIER, PRESS ONE.
IF THIS IS AN EMERGENCY PRESS TWO, AND HELP WILL BE SENT IN
THREE HOURS.
PLEASE HOLD.
YOUR COUP IS IMPORTANT TO US.
>> Stephen: ONE THING HAS BEEN SWIFT, AND THAT'S JUSTICE FOR
THE RIOTERS.
I'LL GIVE YOU THE LATEST IN TONIGHT'S "SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP
ROUNDUP."
>> I HAVE A BEEF WITH MOOO-ANON.
>> Stephen: FIRST UP, REMEMBER THIS INSURRECTIONIST IDIOT, WHO
PUT HIS FEET UP IN NANCY PELOSI'S OFFICE?
HE'S A SELF-DESCRIBED WHITE NATIONALIST NAMED RICHARD "BIGO"
BARNETT.
"BIG O" BECAUSE "TOTAL ZERO" WAS ALREADY TAKEN.
AS YOU MIGHT EXPECT FROM A GUY WHO BRAGGED ON CAMERA ABOUT HIS
CRIMES, HE'S BEEN TOSSED IN PRISON.
AND AT A COURT DATE TODAY, HE SHOWED TRUE CONTRITION ABOUT THE
SERIOUSNESS OF HIS CRIMES.
JUST KIDDING, HE CRIED LIKE A BIGO BABY, YELLING, "THEY'RE
DRAGGING THIS OUT.
THEY'RE LETTING EVERYONE ELSE OUT," INSISTING THAT "IT'S NOT
FAIR" THAT HE IS STILL IN JAIL AND SAYING "THIS HAS BEEN A
BUNCH OF CRAP."
NOT TRUE.
THE "BUNCH OF CRAP" WAS SMEARED ON THE WALLS OF CONGRESS, AND
THEY ARRESTED THAT GUY, TOO.
TURNS OUT CHIEF DISTRICT JUDGE BERYL HOWELL USED TO WORK IN THE
CAPITOL ON THE SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE, SO SHE MAY HAVE BEEN
MORE OFFENDED BY THE ASSAULT THAN OTHERS.
OOH, THAT'S A SPOT OF BAD LUCK.
THAT'S LIKE THE KOOL AID MAN ON TRIAL FOR DESTRUCTION OF
PROPERTY FACING JUDGE ROGER BRICK-WALL.
(AS KOOL AID MAN) "OH, NO."
NEXT UP IN THE CORRAL OF CONSEQUENCES, QANON SHAMAN AND
MAN ON THE ENDANGERED DUMBASS LIST, JACOB CHANSLEY.
CHANSLEY'S BEEN IN FEDERAL CUSTODY SINCE JANUARY, AND
HERE'S WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE NOW.
WOW, IS THERE SUCH A THING AS A GLOW-DOWN?
IT'S LIKE FINDING OUT ATILLA THE HUN WAS ACTUALLY ATTILA
HUNNINGBERG, SUBSTITUTE TEACHER.
CHANSLEY GAVE AN INTERVIEW FROM JAIL TO THE NEW NEWS PROGRAM "60
MINUTES+," ON AMERICA'S BELOVED STREAMING SERVICE: "PARAMOUNT+."
HEY, EVERYBODY, IT'S PLUSSY!
PARAMOUNT PLUS MASCOT HEY, PLUSSY!
WHY DOESN'T HE TALK, OH, I FORGOT, FOR BUDGET TEAR REASONS
THEY CUT OUT HIS L ARYNX.
GOOD-BYE, PLUSSY, GOOD-BYE.
THE SHAMAN HAD A UNIQUE TAKE ON HIS ACTIONS DURING THE CAPITOL
INSURRECTION.
>> MY ACTIONS ON JANUARY 6?
HOW WOULD I DESCRIBE THEM?
WELL, I SANG A SONG, AND THAT'S A PART OF SHAMANISM.
IT'S ABOUT CREATING POSITIVE VIBRATIONS IN A SACRED CHAMBER.
I ALSO STOPPED PEOPLE IN STEALING AND VANDALIZING THAT
SECRET SPACE, THE SENATE, OKAY, I ACTUALLY STOPPED SOMEBODY FROM
STEALING MUFFINS OUT OF THE BREAK ROOM.
>> Stephen: OH, THANK GOD, HE SAVED CONGRESS' MUFFINS.
REMINDED ME OF THE DRAMATIC SECOND VERSE OF THE STAR
SPANGLED BANNER, GAVE PROOF THROUGH THE FIGHT THAT THE BRAN
WAS STILL THERE OH SAY DOES THAT CRUMB SPANGLED SNACK TRAY
YET STAY WITH THE LITTLE
DEBBIE'S CAKES AND THE CHIPS FRITO LAY!
THROW HIM IN JAIL!
BUT, DESPITE DESTROYING HIS LIFE ON THE EX-PRESIDENT'S
INVITATION, CHANSLEY HASN'T GIVEN UP ON THE MAN.
>> HE CARES ABOUT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, AND THAT'S ALSOWHY IT
WOUNDED ME SO DEEPLY AND WHY DISAPPOINTED ME SO GREATLY THAT
I AND OTHERS DID NOT GET A PARDON.
>> Stephen: THAT'S TOUGH.
BUT IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, THE ONLY REASON HE DIDN'T PARDON
YOU IS THAT HE ACTUALLY DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU.
LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE MADE THAT MISTAKE.
BUT THEY GOT ALIMONY.
NOW IT'S TIME FOR "SPACE NEWS!
ROCKET EDITION."
GO SAY I HAD TO PLUSSY YESTERDAY, THERE WAS A NEW SPACE
ACHIEVEMENT FOR TESLA FOUNDER AND WORLD'S RICHEST STEAMED
DUMPLING, ELON MUSK.
MUSK'S COMPANY, SPACE-X, LAUNCHED A PROTOTYPE OF ITS
SIGNATURE ORBITAL VEHICLE, THE "STARSHIP" ROCKET.
THIS IS THE PHILLIPS HEAD VERSION.
SPACEX'S UNMANNED ROCKETS DISTINGUISH THEMSELVES BY
DELIVERING THEIR PAYLOAD AND THEN LANDING ON THEIR FINS,
BUCK ROGERS-STYLE, SO THEY CAN BE REUSED.
IT'S SUPER EXCITING.
"STARSHIP" IS THE LATEST AND LARGEST OF THESE TO BE
ATTEMPTED.
AND ALTHOUGH THE FIRST TWO "STARSHIP" PROTOTYPES WERE
DESTROYED ON LANDING, THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM.
WOW!
OKAY, LITTLE BOBBLE ON THE LANDING...
JUDGES ARE GOING TO TAKE OFF TWO-TENTHS OF A POINT.
BUT THEY DID IT!
WHAT AN INCREDIBLE ACHIEVEMENT, EVEN MANAGING TO LAND ON ONE
ENGINE.
SO, CONGRATULATIONS TO MUSK AND EVERYONE AT SPACEX FOR A SAFE
LANDING.
I AM READY TO BUY MY TICK...
OH!
SHALL PUT THAT AWAY FOR NOW.
OKAY, JUST A FEW WRINKLES LEFT TO IRON OUT.
LAST WEEK, THE HOUSE APPROVED BIDEN'S $1.9 TRILLION COVID
STIMULUS PACKAGE, BUT NOW IT'S BEING HELD UP IN THE SENATE BY
WISCONSIN SENATOR RON JOHNSON, SEEN HERE IN HIS PUPA STATE.
YESTERDAY, JOHNSON ANNOUNCED THAT HE WILL DELAY A VOTE ON
GETTING AMERICANS MUCH NEEDED COVID RELIEF BY FORCING SENATE
CLERKS TO READ THE MORE THAN 600-PAGE BILL OUT LOUD.
THAT TAKES GUTS.
IT REMINDS ME OF THE CLASSIC FILM, MR. SMITH FORCES SENATE
CLERKS TO GO TO WASHINGTON.
IT'S AWFUL TO DENY PEOPLE RELIEF IN SUCH A PETTY WAY.
PERHAPS HE'S NOT THAT MUCH OF A DOUCHEBAG.
PERHAPS IT'S JUST RON JOHNSON'S WAY OF TELLING US HE CAN'T READ.
NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF, SENATOR.
WE'RE SENDING LEVAR BURTON.
JOHNSON'S BIG ISSUE WITH THE STIMULUS BILL IS THE PRICE TAG,
WHICH HE EXPLAINED ON THE SENATE FLOOR IN THE DUMBEST WAY
POSSIBLE: >> THE THICKNESS OF A DOLLAR
BILL IS 4.3 THOUSANDTHS OF AN INCH THICK.
IF YOU STACKED A MILLION DOLLAR BILLS ON TOP OF EACH OTHER, THEY
WOULD BE-- THEY WOULD STACK UP TO BE 358 FEET HIGH.
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT $1.9 TRILLION, WHICH WOULD STACK UP
TO 135,732 MILES HIGH.
MADAM PRESIDENT, THE DISTANCE TO THE MOON IS 238,900 MILES.
>> Stephen: OKAY, I DIDN'T GET A LOT FROM THAT, OTHER THAN I
THINK THE STIMULUS WILL BE PAID OUT IN SINGLES.
SO DON'T FORGET TO WEAR A G-STRING AND SHAKE IT UP.
HOUSE DEMOCRATS HAVE BEEN ON A ROLL.
BEFORE THEY BUGGED OUT OF TOWN, THEY WERE EXTREMELY BUSY WITH
THE LAW-MAKIN' LAST NIGHT.
FIRST, THEY PASSED A LANDMARK BILL ON VOTING RIGHTS,
ELECTIONS, CAMPAIGN FINANCE AND ETHICS REFORM, TITLED H.R. 1.
H.R., OF COURSE, STANDS FOR "HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES," AND
1 STANDS FOR THE NUMBER OF BLACK PEOPLE THE G.O.P. WILL LET VOTE
IF THIS BILL DOESN'T BECOME LAW.
THEY ALSO PASSED SOMETHING CALLED "THE GEORGE FLOYD JUSTICE
IN POLICING ACT," WHICH WOULD BAN CHOKEHOLDS AND "QUALIFIED
IMMUNITY," AND ALSO CREATE A NATIONAL STANDARD FOR POLICING.
GOOD.
POLICING SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST THE SAME LEVEL OF STANDARDS AS
LUNCHMEAT.
SURPRISINGLY, THIS DEMOCRATIC BILL EVEN GOT ONE REPUBLICAN
VOTE.
YES, TAKE THAT, PEOPLE WHO SAY THE G.O.P. DOESN'T CARE ABOUT
BLACK PEOPLE!
BECAUSE WHEN IT CAME TO VALUING HUMAN LIFE, AT LEAST ONE MAN HAD
THE HEART TO-- I'M SORRY, WHAT'S THAT?
THE SOLE G.O.P. VOTE SAID HE "ACCIDENTALLY PRESSED THE WRONG
VOTING BUTTON."
WRONG BUTTON?
AND HE'S A CONGRESSMAN?
HE'S NOT EVEN FIT TO GO ON "THE BACHELOR."
"I CHOOSE AMBER... NO, WAIT!
JESSICA...
OH, IS IT TOO LATE?
DAMN.
CAN I HAVE THE ROSE BACK?" YOU GOT A PROBLEM, BRO
BUT AT LEAST FOR ONE BRIEF, FLICKERING MOMENT, HE MADE US
THINK HE HAD A CONSCIENCE.
AND TONIGHT, WE HONOR THAT MISTAKE:
TONIGHT ON "A LATE SHOW'S GREAT MOMENTS IN OOPS-A-BRAVERY," WE
TAKE A LOOK BACK AMERICAN HEROES WHO WERE WRONGLY ON THE RIGHT
SIDE OF HISTORY.
JUNE 6, 1944: CLIFFORD T. HINKLEY MISTAKENLY
BOARDS A D-DAY LANDING CRAFT, THINKING HE WAS EMBARKING ON A
BOOZE CRUISE.
JULY 4, 1776: JEBEDIAH PIERSON SIGNED THE
DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE, THINKING IT WAS A BIRTHDAY CARD.
MARCH 7, 1965: PATRICK O'SHEA INADVERTENTLY
JOINED THE MARCH ON SELMA, BELIEVING IT WAS A ST. PATRICKS
DAY PARADE.
AND, MARCH 3, 2021: TEXAS REPRESENTATIVE LANCE
GOODEN ACCIDENTALLY VOTED FOR SENSIBLE POLICE REFORM.
BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT HIS POLITICAL AFFILIATION, DEEP
DOWN, HE'S TOO DUMB TO KNOW HOW BUTTONS WORK.
HIS COURAGEOUS STUPIDITY WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT, JANE FONDA IS HERE.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!"
JOIN US, WON'T YOU?
>> "A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT,.
YOU KNOW, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME RENDERING THE MOST CUTTING-EDGE
TOPICAL GRAPHICS, AND STRINGING THE NEWSIEST CUT-SCENES INTO AN
IMMERSIVE, NARRATIVE EXPERIENCE, TO CREATE FOR YOU THE
STATE-OF-THE-ART, VIRTUAL REALITY ROLE-PLAYING VIDEO GAME
EXPERIENCE THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, FOLKS, I BREAK INTO MY NEIGHBOR'S
GARAGE, STEAL AN OLD CARDBOARD BOX AND DRAW ON IT WHILE HUFFING
THE MARKERS.
THEN, I FASHION DICE OUT OF SOME TEETH I SWIPED FROM THE MORGUE,
SCULPT SOME GAME PIECES OUT OF THE CALCIFIED CHEWING GUM I
SCRAPE OFF THE BOTTOM OF A MOVIE THEATER SEAT, THEN INVITE YOU
ALL TO THE MOB-OPERATED, UNDERGROUND PARCHEESI LEAGUE OF
NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT: "QUARANTINE-WHILE!"
QUARANTINE-WHILE, A BELOVED CHICAGO TRADITION IS ABOUT TO
DIE: THE CITY WILL NO LONGER ALLOW THE HALLOWED CHICAGO
INSTITUTION OF USING HOUSEHOLD OBJECTS TO CALL DIBS ON PARKING
SPOTS AFTER SNOW REMOVAL, BECAUSE STARTING THIS WEEK, DIBS
OBJECTS WILL NOW BE REMOVED BY TRASH CREWS.
WHICH MEANS I ONLY HAVE A FEW MORE HOURS TO HOLD THE SWEET
SPOT I'VE BEEN SAVING AT THE CORNER OF WELLS AND EUGENIE
SINCE 1991.
PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT!
I'M HAVING A SOFA DELIVERED ANY DAY NOW!
DIDN'T YOU LIVE IN WELLS AND EUGENEIE OR WAS IT-- WILLOW,
WERE YOU GENE EUGINIE AND MINOMINI AND WILLOW, SHE LIVED
ON MY CORNER, I THINK.
YOU DONE MINE IF I JUST TOSS-- -- TOSS IN MY WIFE AT THE
END OF THE SHOW, JUST SAY T WE WON'T BE OFFENDED, IT WILL BE
FINE.
NO HARD FEELINGS.
QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN CALIFORNIA, "A PLASTIC SURGEON ATTENDED
VIDEO TRAFFIC COURT FROM THE OPERATING ROOM."
HERE'S A LOOK: >> UNLESS I AM MISTAKEN, I'M
SEEING A DEFENDANT THAT'S IN THE MIDDLE OF AN OPERATING ROOM,
APPEARING TO BE ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN PROVIDING SERVICES TO A
PATIENT.
IS THAT CORRECT, MR. GREEN?
>> YES, SIR.
>> I DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE, FOR THE WELFARE OF THE PATIENT
IF YOU'RE IN THE PROCESS OF OPERATING THAT I WOULD PUT ON A
TRIAL.
>> I HAVE ANOTHER SURGEON RIGHT HERE WHO'S DOING THE SURGERY
WITH ME SO I CAN STAND HERE AND ALLOW THEM TO DO THE SURGERY
ALSO.
>> NOT AT ALL.
I DON'T THINK SO.
>> Stephen: CLEARLY DID NOT IMPRESS THE JUDGE.
AND THAT DOESN'T BODE WELL FOR YOUR CASE IN TRAFFIC COURT.
"YOUR HONOR, I WAS NOT DRIVING RECKLESSLY.
I ONLY BEHAVE THAT WAY WHILE PERFORMING SURGERY.
NOW, CAN YOU RULE ON THIS SPEEDING TICKET QUICKLY?
THIS GUY'S FLAT-LINING AND I HAVE TO ZOOM IN TO MY
MALPRACTICE TRIAL."
GET ME ANOTHER QUARANTINE-WHILE, A NEW APP
CALLED "DEEP NOSTALGIA" BRINGS NEW LIFE TO DEAD ANCESTORS BY
REANIMATING OLD PHOTOS.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
WOW!
THAT IS SO UPSETTING, THERE HAS TO BE A GERMAN WORD FOR HOW
I FEEL RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS PERFECT FOR ANYONE WHO EVER SAID "I WONDER WHAT GRANDMA
WOULD LOOK LIKE IF AN ALIEN HID INSIDE HER TEENAGE SKIN."
QUARANTINE-WHILE, U.K. RAPPER SLOWTHAI HAS VOWED TO STOP
SPITTING IN PEOPLE'S MOUTHS AT GIGS THANKS TO THE CORONAVIRUS
PANDEMIC.
THAT'S A BOLD STANCE TO TAKE A YEAR INTO THE PANDEMIC.
NOW WE KNOW WHY HE'S NOT CALLED FAST-THAI.
DEVIL'S ADVOCATE: WHAT IS THE POINT OF SEEING YOUR FAVORITE
ARTISTS IN CONCERT IF THEY CAN'T SPIT IN YOUR MOUTH?
LAST TIME I CHECKED, THIS IS AMERICA.
IF I FORK OVER 80 BUCKS TO SEE BOB DYLAN LIVE, IT'S BECAUSE
I EXPECT A HARD RAIN'S GONNA FA-ALLL.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JANE FONDA.
WELCOME BACK.
SHE IS A TWO-TIME ACADEMY AWARD WINNER, AN ACTIVIST, AND A
FITNESS ICON.
ON SUNDAY NIGHT, SHE RECEIVED THE CECIL B. DEMILLE AWARD AT
THE GOLDEN GLOBES.
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," JANE FONDA!
JANE, THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME, STEPHEN, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU
AGAIN, I TOLD LILY TOMLIN TODAY THAT I WAS GOING TO BE ON YOUR
SHOW, SHE'S VERY JEALOUS.
THE LAST TWO TIMES I THINK I WAS ALWAYS ON YOUR SHOW WITH LILY.
>> Jon: >> Stephen: I LOVE HAVING YOU
BOTH ON, THANK YOU FOR BEING MERE AND THANK YOU FOR WEARING
YOUR REVOLUTIONARY BERET.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE READY TO TAKE TO THE HILLS WITH
COULD MANNER MARS COULD.
NOW CONGRATULATIONS ON THE CECIL B DE MILL AWARD IT WAS LOVELY TO
SEE YOU GET.
IT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR SPEECH IN JUST A MOMENT BUT I
GOT TO ASK, WITH SOMEONE WITH SUCH A LONG AND STORIED CAREER
AS YOURS DO AWARDS MEAN ANYTHING TO JANE FONDA.
>> OH MY GOSH, YES.
ESPECIALLY, IT'S KIND OF MIRACULOUS FOR ME TO GET AWARDS.
YOU KNOW, I RETIRED FROM THE INDUSTRY FOR 15 YEARS.
TEN OF THOSE YEARS I WAS MARRIED TO TED TURNER AND YOU KNOW, YOU
CAN'T WORK AND BE MARRIED TO TED TURNER.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO RAISE THE BUFFALO, THE
BUFFALO HERD TO LOOK AFTER.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT.
AND THEN FIVE YEARS WRITING MY MEMOIRS.
AND I CAME BACK AT 65 WITH MONSTER IN LAW, YOU KNOW.
SO AND I'M ALMOST 84 NOW, SO THE FACT THAT I'M STILL WORKING AND
THAT I HAVE JUST WON THIS IS JUST TO ME MIRACULOUS.
>> Stephen: WELL, THE SPEECH WAS JUST BEAUTIFUL.
YOU TALKED ABOUT, FOR THOSE WHO HADN'T SEEN IT JANE SPOKE SO
ELOQUENTLY ABOUT LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING AND OUR COMMON
HUMANITY AND THE ROLE OF THE ARTS FOR REVEALING THAT.
AND ONE OF THE THINGS I ADMIRE ABOUT YOU IS THAT YOU DON'T JUST
TALK THE TALK, YOU HAVE WALKED THE WALK.
YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE FOR YOUR ENTIRE CAREER.
WHAT DID THIS MOMENT IN TIME RIGHT NOW MEAN TO YOU AS SOMEONE
WHO HAS WORKED SO HARD TO CHANGE THE WORLD.
BECAUSE SO MANY THINGS ARE CHANGING RIGHT NOW.
>> I'M EXTREMELY HOPEFUL.
THE LAST FOUR YEAR VTION BEEN PAINFUL FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE.
AND VERY, VERY DISTURBING.
BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE ALSO FOR THE FIRST TIME REALIZED THE EXTENT
TO WHICH WHITE SUPREMACY STILL IS ALIVE IN THIS COUNTRY, THE
EXTENT TO WHICH POLICE VIOLENCE IS HARMING BLACK PEOPLE.
AND YOU KNOW, THERE'S TENS OF MILLIONS OF AMERICANS NOW WHO
ARE AWARE OF THE URGENCY OF THE CLIMATE CRISIS AND ALL OF THESE
THINGS ARE CONNECTED.
AND PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT.
AND SO I FEEL, I FEEL THAT WE'RE AT A PIVOTAL POINT IN HUMAN
HISTORY, WHEN PEOPLE ARE REALLY READY TO MAKE OUR ELECTED
OFFICIALS DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE AND ADDRESS ALL OF THESE
INTERSECTIONAL CRISES.
AND I THINK WE CAN DO IT.
>> WELL, ONE OF THE WAYS YOU HAVE BEEN WALKING THE WALK, WE
TALKED ABOUT THE LAST TIME WE WERE ON THE SHOW, IN 2019 YOU
STARTED SOMETHING CALLED FIRE DRILL FRIDAYS.
AND IT'S A MOVEMENT TO CONFRONT CLIMATED CHANGE AND OBVIOUSLY
WE'RE ALL IN COVID LOCKDOWN IN VARIOUS STATES OF STRIN
AGAINSTEE AND YOU KNOW, MUTUAL COOPERATION.
FIRST OF ALL HOW IS COVID BEEN FOR YOU?
LIKE HOW HAS THE ZOOM PROTESTING OR ZOOM INTERVIEWS, LIKE HOW
HAVE YOU ADAPTED TO THE ZOOM WORLD?
>> WE DO FIRE DRILL FRIDAYS IN FACT THIS IS OUR YEAR
ANNIVERSARY.
WE'VE BEEN DOING THEM EVERY FRIDAY FOR A YEAR.
DO YOU KNOW STEPHEN-- STEVEN WE HAD OVER 9 MILLION VIEWERS
ACROSS ALL PLATFORMS.
WE WERE WORRIED THAT WITH COVID PEOPLE WOULD STOP THINKING ABOUT
THE CLIMATE.
THEY DIDN'T.
AND THOUSANDS OF THEM TOOK ACTION APPROACHING THE
ELECTIONS, WRITING IN, CALLING ELECTED OFFICIALS, CALLING
VOTERS WHO SAT OUT THE LAST ELECTIONS.
AND MOST OF THEM HAD NEVER DONE IT BEFORE SO YOU KNOW, I'M
PRETTY JAZZED ABOUT WHAT WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH AND
CONTINUE.
TOMORROW WE FOCUS ON THIS INCREDIBLE BILL IN WASHINGTON
RIGHT NOW, HR1 THAT WOULD GET DARK MONEY OUT OF POLITICS AND
YOU KNOW, EXPAND OUR VOTING RIGHTS AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
JOHN, CONGRESSMAN JOHN SAR BAINS FROM MARYLAND WHO INTRODUCED HR1
IS GOING TO BE ONE OF OUR GUESTS.
AND I DON'T KNOW, I HOPE EVERYBODY CAN JOIN.
IT STARTS 11:00 WEST COAST TIME.
>> Stephen: HOW DO THEY JOIN IN, WHERE DO THEY GO TO FIND
OUT.
>> WELL, IT'S ON FACEBOOK, TWITTER, INSTAGRAM BUT IT'S ALSO
FIRE DRILL FRIDAY, THE WEBSITE FIRE DRILL FRIDAY.COM.
THEY CAN WATCH IT THAT WAY.
>> Stephen: NOW ANOTHER THING GOING ON IS RELATED TO ONE OF
YOUR EARLIEST CAUSES WHICH IS PROTEST THE VIETNAM WAR.
YOU WERE AN ANTIWAR ROAD SHOW THAT WAS CAPTURED IN A 1972
DOCUMENTARY CALLED FTA AND IT'S BEING RE-RELEASED TOMORROW, IF
IT WAS CAPTURED IN 1972, FIRST OF ALL, WHAT IS IT AND WHY IS IT
BEING RELEASED NO YOU?
>> WELL, I DON'T THINK MOST PEOPLE REALIZE THAT PARTICULARLY
STARTING IN 1-9D 68 THERE WAS A VERY ROBUST GI MOVEMENT.
A LOT OF SERVICEMEN, MOSTLY MEN, SOME WOMEN WERE OPPOSED TO THE
WAR OR QUESTIONING THE WAR.
AND THEY WERE STARTING TO ARGUE.
AND DR. HOWARD LEVY, HE WAS AN ARMY MEDIC SUGGESTED TO ME AND I
HAD JUST FINISHED MAKING CLOOT, DONALD SUTORLAND AND I WERE
TOGETHER AND HE SUGGESTED THAT WE PUT TOGETHER A SHOW TO KIND
OF COUNTER THE BOB HOPE SHOW THAT WAS VERY PROWAR AND
MISOGYNISTIC.
AND HE SAID CALL IT [BLEEP] THE ARMY.
AND BECAUSE THAT'S, THERE WAS A GI ANTIWAR NEWSPAPER CALLED THE
FTA.
SO WE TOOK THAT NAME, WE GOT A GROUP OF PERFORMERS TOGETHER.
AND WE TRAVELED IN THE FALL AND WINTER OF 1971.
HAWAII, THE PHILIPPINES, OKINAWA AND JAPAN AFTER WE TOURED THE
UNITED STATES.
AND PERFORMED FOR OVER 60,000 SERVICE MEMBER.
AND YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN FED THIS MYTH THAT THERE WAS THE
ANTIWAR MOVEMENT AND THEN THERE WERE THE GI'S AND THEY HATED
EACH OTHER.
WHICH WAS TOTALLY NOT TRUE.
JUST LOOKING OUT AT SEAS, THE SEA OF FACES OF THESE SOLDIERS
LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING AND REALLY, YOU KNOW, ENJOYING THE
FACT THAT WE ARE WERE THERE.
IT WAS THRILLING.
OKAY SO IT OPENED, PLAYED A WEEK AT A MOVIE THEATER IN NEW YORK,
AND DISAPPEARED.
THIS WAS DURING THE NIXON ADMINISTRATION.
GONE.
WELL, A COPY WAS FOUND AND IT WAS-- .
>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND, NOT JUST PULLED FROM THE THEATER,
LITERALLY THE PRINT DISAPPEARED.
>> JUST DISAPPEARED.
AND A COPY WAS FOUND AND THE WONDERFUL ORGANIZATION CALLED
INDIE COLLECT RESTORED IT.
AND IT'S BEING RELEASED TOMORROW IN KENO MARQUEE VIRTUAL SIN HE
MAS ONLINE.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP HERE, DO YOU-- WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO SEE?
>> WELL, MICHAEL WAS ONE OF OUR ACTORS AND HE AND I DID A SKIT
THAT HE PLAYED NIXON AND I PLAYED PAT.
AND WE WERE IT SORT OF SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.
I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE WE WERE IN THAT PARTICULAR CLIP.
PROBABLY OKINAWA.
>> Stephen: IT SAYS OKINAWA HERE, I THINK.
ARE YOU PERFORMING FOR SOLDIERS HERE?
>> OH YEAH, UH-HUH, ALWAYS FOR SOLDIERS.
>> MR. PRESIDENT, THERE IS A TERRIBLE DEMONSTRATION GOING ON
OUTSIDE.
>> OH, THERE'S ALWAYS A DEMONSTRATION GOING ON OUTSIDE,
PAT.
>> BUT RICHARD, THIS ONE IS COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL.
>> WHAT ARE THEY ASKING FOR THIS TIME.
>> FRE ANGELA DAVIS AND ALL POLITICAL PRISONERS OUT OF
VIETNAM NOW AND DRAFT ALL GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS.
>> WE ASK PEOPLE TO DO THAT, THEY WILL DO THEIR JOB, I WILL
DO THEIR JOB.
>> YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THEY ARE STORMING THE WHITE HOUSE.
>> THEN I BETTER CALL OUT THE THIRD MARINES.
>> YOU CAN'T, RICHARD.
>> WHY NOT.
>> IT IS THE THIRD MARINES.
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND THE BEFORE YOU WENT OVER THE GREAT
TRAIN RIDER DALTON TROM BEAU GAVE YOU SOME ADVICE, HE HAD
PROTESTED IN THE '20S AND 30S.
WHAT ADVICE DID HE GIVE YOU ABOUT BEFORE YOU WENT TO EAST
ASIA TO DO THESE SHOWS?
>> IN HE WAS, HE SAID DON'T FORGET TO BE HAPPY.
>> Stephen: WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THAT?
>> JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE DEALING WITH A VERY SERIOUS SUBJECT AND
YOU'RE TRYING TO END THE WAR DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN'T FEEL
JOY.
ACTIVISM IS JOY-FILLED.
IT IS FUN.
YOU FEEL GOOD KNOWING THAT ARE YOU DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN.
YOU PUT YOUR WHOLE BODY ON THE LINE.
AND YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT YOU KNOW BEING AN ACTIVIST
MEANS LIKE EAT YOUR BROCCOLI.
BUT IT'S ACTUALLY FUN.
AND DAL TORN WAS REMINDING US TO BE HAPPY BECAUSE IT'S
CONTAGIOUS.
AND ALSO LAUGHTER, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF TIMES YOUR GUARD IS
DROPPED WHEN ARE YOU LAUGHING AND NEW IDEAS COME IN, AT LEAST
THAT IS WHAT I FOUND.
WHEN I'M WRITING AND I HAVE A WRITER'S CRAMP, IF I CAN FIND A
WAY TO LAUGH, IDEAS COME IN BECAUSE MY GUARD IS DOWN, DO YOU
FLOW WHAT I MEAN?
WELL, I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU.
YOU KNOW THAT BETTER THAN I DO.
>> Stephen: I DO KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, ON GOOD DAYS.
WELL, JANE, THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, STEPHEN
>> Stephen: YOU CAN JOIN "FIRE DRILL FRIDAYS" ONLINE, AND YOU
CAN SEE HER IN THE DOCUMENTARY "F.T.A." STARTING THIS FRIDAY.
JANE FONDA, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MY ESTEEMED COLLEAGUES, THE ANCHORS
OF "VIRTUE SIGNAL."
STICK AROUND.
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY >> Stephen: JOINING ME NOW ARE
THE ANCHORS OF "VIRTUE SIGNAL," WHO, I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU,
HAVE FOR YEARS TACKLED THE BIGGEST STORIES OF THE DAY FOUR
NIGHTS A WEEK AS PART OF "TOONING OUT THE NEWS" ON
PARAMOUNT+.
WE ALL KNOW HOW THIS SYSTEM WORKS, REPUBLICANS GOV NERN AND
LIBERALS BEG THEM TO DO THE RIGHT THING SO LET'S DO THIS.
>> PLEASE, PLEASE.
>> I JUST WANT TO SAY, I KNOW GEORGE W. BUSH NICKNAMED YOU
STRETCH AND HE SHOULD BE PUT ON TRIAL AT THE INTERNATIONAL
CRIMINAL COURT FOR BODY SHAMING.
>> THIS IS HOW JOE BIDEN GOT ELECTED.
HE GOT A FEW PEOPLE WHO VOTED FOR DONALD TRUMP LAST TIME TO
VOTE FOR HIM.
>> SORRY BUT I HAVE TO DISAGREE.
THE TWO DOZEN POSTCARDS I SENT TO PENNSYLVANIA ARE WHAT GOT JOE
BIDEN ELECTED.
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," MY PARAMOUNT+
COLLEAGUES: KYLIE WEAVER, LILA MORENO, PETER WOMACK, AND BRIAN
MIN!
STHNGS SO MUCH FOR BECOME HERE.
I'M REALLY EXCITED TO GET A SITDOWN WITH YOU.
I WATCH YOU, I HAVE WATCHED YOU FOR YEARS.
I THINK YOU ARE THE GOLD STANDARD.
YOU ARE MOST NEWS ON TV RIGHT NOW AND I'M JUST WONDERING FOR
THE PEOPLE OUT THERE IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND INTRODUCING
YOURSELF.
>> OKAY, HE IS OBSESSED WITH ME.
I'M THE HOST AND AUTHOR OF 33 APOLOGIES THINK PIECES TITLED MY
TIME TO LISTEN KYLIE WE EVER.
>> I'M DRUNK GIRL DRENGING SEA WATER SAYING IT'S FINE LILA
MOREENA.
>> I'M ATLANTIC CONTRIBUTOR WHO WENT VIRAL FOR STANDING ON A
COFFEE SHOP TABLE AND APOLOGIZING FOR CLOGGING THE
TOILET BRIAN MINUTE AND I'M "VANITY FAIR" EDITOR AND INVENT
EVER THE CAVEMAN DIET PETER WITHOUT MACK.
>> Stephen: IT'S AN HONOR TO HAVE YOU HERE, LET'S TALK ABOUT
THE SHOW, VIRTUAL SIGNAL WHAT INSPIRED ITnd WHAT IS YOUR
MISSION.
>> YOU HILT THE NAIL ON IT HEAD IT IS THE HONOR.
AS FOR INSPIRATION I NOTICED A LOT OF NEWS ANCHORS OUT THERE
SPEAKING AGAINST INJUSTICE PURELY TO SIGNAL TO THEIR
AUDIENCE THAT THEY ARE VIRTUOUS PEOPLE BUT NO ONE HAD THE FORE
SITE TO MAKE IT THE TITLE OF THEIR SHOW AND THAT IS WHAT I
DID.
AND AS FOR OUR MISSION IT'S SIMPLE.
SHOW AMERICA THAT IF WE PUT ASIDE OUR DIFFERENCES AND
RECOGNIZE OUR SHARED HUMANITY, WE CAN MAKE ME THE HIGHEST
EARNING PERSONALITY ON TELEVISION.
>> AND THISSIER'S OPENING BROADCAST I'M CURIOUS ABOUT THIS
AS A FELLOW BROADCASTER YOU CHOSE TO SPEAK ABOUT THE MINIMUM
WAGE.
WHY DID YOU MAKE THAT YOUR LEAD STORY.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, STEPHEN, LISTEN, THIS STORY IS PERSONAL.
BECAUSE I LIVE IN A 15,000 DOLLAR PER MONTH WEST VILLAGE
APARTMENT WITH ROOFTOP BIDET ENCLOSED IN A BIRD SANCTUARY I
ONLY HAVE 7.25 AN HOUR IN DISPOSABLE INCOME.
>> IT IS PERSONAL TO ME BECAUSE THE NETWORK PAYS ME MINIMUM
WAGE.
>> BRIAN, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.
IT IS MUCH MORE WHEN YOU FACTOR IN YOUR CHRISTMAS BONUS OF A
FROZEN SOLID TUCAN.
>> Stephen: NOW YOU HAVE AND I HOPE THIS ISN'T OPENING ANY
WOUNDS HERE, BEEN ACCUSED OF TALKING MORE ABOUT YOURSELVES
THAN TALKING ABOUT THE ACTUAL NEWS.
HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO THAT?
DO YOU THINK THAT IS THE ROLE OF A JOURNALIST?
>> YOU KNOW STEPHEN, I USUALLY DO NOT PAY ANY MIND TO MY HATERS
BUT HERE IS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT JOURNALISTS.
ANYONE WITH A SMARTPHONE CAN REPORT ON ATROCITIES AT OUR
SOUTHERN BORDER OR FOLLOW TRUTH THROUGH THE BLOOD SOAKED HILLS
OF WHEREVER BUT HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN RIDE A CAR TO MIDTOWN, CLIMB
30 STORIES IN AN ELEVATOR, TRUST THE SAME PERSON TO DO THEIR HAIR
AND MAKEUP EVERY DAY AND SHOW THE AUDIENCE NO MATTER THE COST
THEY WILL CONTORT THEIR FACE TO SHOW HOW MUCH THEY CARE.
>> AND STEPHEN I'M SURE YOU WOULD AGREE IF THAT FACIAL
EXPRESSION GETS MORE COVERAGE THAN THE STORY ITSELF THAN THAT
IS A BORING STORY.
>> Stephen: OKAY BUT AS THE NUMBER ONE NAME IN NEWS RIGHT
NOW ON PARAMOUNT PLUS YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND IT IS THE
RESPONSIBILITY THAT COMES WITH YOUR PLATFORM.
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHERE TO SHINE YOUR EDITORIAL LIGHT?
THERE ARE SO MANY UNDERREPORTED STORIES OUT THERE.
>> GOSH, STEPHEN, THERE ARE TONS OF IMPORTANT UNDERREPORTED
STORIES OUT THERE THAT WE AVOID BECAUSE THEY ARE LOW KEY RATED.
>> ARE THERE 130 COUNTRIES THAT STILL DON'T HAVE THE VACCINE,
YES, DOES BILLIE EILISH LIVE IN ANY OF THEM.
NO, GET IT OFF MY TRK V STEPHEN.
>> STEPHEN, WE HAVE YET TO TELL OUR AUDIENCE DONALD TRUMP ISN'T
PRESIDENT ANY MORE.
THE RATINGS ARE JUST TOO GOOD.
>> Stephen: NOW YOU HAVE HAD INCREDIBLE GUESTS.
YOU HAVE HAD SENATOR CHRIS COONS, BUTTIGIEG, JOHN
DICKERSON, LET'S SPILL THE TEA WHO IS THE TOUGHEST INTERVIEW.
>> HONESTLY, STEPHEN, IS ANYONE MORE TOXICICALLY MASS YOU LYNN
THAN JOHN DICKERSON.
>> NO.
>> HE DIDN'T SAY IT OUTLOUD BUT I COULD TELL HE WANTED TO GUESS
MY WEIGHT.
IT IS A HUNDRED BOUNDS.
-- POUNDSK I'M SO TINY, I A LITTLE BUTTON NOSE, I COULD
SLEEP ON A LEAF.
>> PERSONALLY I THINK DEAN KAINE WAS THE MOST CHALLENGING MOSTLY
BECAUSE HIS HALFWAY HOUSE HAD REALLY SPOTTY INTERNET.
>> Stephen: THE NEW SEASON KICKS OFF THIS WEEK.
WHAT CAN VIEWERS EXPECT.
>> OBVIOUSLY WE WILL FOCUS ON THE REAL ISSUES AND NOT THIS
FRIVOLOUS POSTER WAR BS SO YES, WE WILL GO WALL TO WALL ON
MR. POTATOE.
ALSO KYLIE TOLD ME I AM ALLOWED TO TALK 20% MORE THIS SEASON
BECAUSE SHE QUOTE DOESN'T WANT TO SEEM RACIST.
>> WELL, KYLIE, LILA, PETER, BRIAN, IT'S BEEN GREAT TO TALK
TO YOU.
I HOPE WE CAN HAVE YOU BACK SOON BUT I'M AFRAID WE ARE OU OF
TIME, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING US.
>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN, BEFORE WE GO, WE HAVE A SURPRISE
HONOR TO BESTOW UPON YOU FOR GIVING VOICE TO THE VOICELESS
ANCHORS OF OUR HIT SHOW.
READY THE GRAPHIC.
WE ARE GOING TO DECLARE YOU OUR CORNY CATHOLIC SCHOOL BOY TURNED
HAIR DIE FRENCH DAD SERVING LATE NIGHT TEL PROMPTEDDER ANDURE DG
DG REELING STILL FROM THE CENTURY.
QUNS CONGRATULATIONS.
>> IT'S QUITE AN ACHIEVEMENT.
>> Stephen: THANKS SO MUCH.
>> Stephen: THE SECOND SEASON OF "VIRTUE SIGNAL" AND ALL THE REST
OF "TOONING OUT THE NEWS" IS STREAMING NOW ON PARAMOUNT+.
I DON'T DYE MY HAIR!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY KINGS OF LEON.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> SOMEBODY JUST WON AN OYSTER EATING CONTEST WHOSE GAG REFLEX
IS TRIGGERED BY INSINCERITY.
>> I AM SORRY FOR WHATEVER PAIN I CAUSED ANYONEK I NEVER
INTENDED IT AND I WILL BE THE BETTER FOR THIS EXPERIENCE.
>> I'M SORRY, I NEVER INTENDED TO VOMIT ON YOU.
AND I WILL BE THE BETTER FOR THIS EXPERIENCE.
WELCOME BACK.
THEIR HIGHLY ANTICIPATED ALBUM, "WHEN YOU SEE YOURSELF," IS OUT
TOMORROW!
PERFORMING, "THE BANDIT," KINGS OF LEON!
S S S ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ CHISELED THEIR NAMES IN STONE
HEAVY THE LOAD YOU TOW ♪ AND THE RED HORSE
IS ALWAYS CLOSE ♪ AND THE FIRE
DON'T BURN BELOW ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ 200 MILES TO CLEAR
CHASING A SOUND I HEAR ♪ WHEN THE CALL BRINGS THEM ALL
TO TEARS ♪ AND THE HOPES THEY ALL
TURN TO FEARS ♪ AND THEY'RE WALKING AROUND
WITH THEIR HEADS IN THE CLOUD SCREAMING
♪ MUST CATCH THE BANDIT RECKLESS ABANDON
♪ RUNDOWN AND STRANDED MUST CATCH THE BANDIT
♪ TRACKS IN THE DIRT FOR DAYS SNIFF OUT THE FIRE ABLAZE
♪ AND THE RED DOOR IT SEEMS TO SWAY
♪ AND IT CARRIES A HEAVY WEIGHT
♪ AND THEY'RE WALKING AROUND WITH THEIR HEADS IN THE CLOUD
SCREAMING ♪ MUST CATCH THE BANDIT
RECKLESS ABANDON ♪ RUNDOWN AND STRANDED
MUST CATCH THE BANDIT ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ AND THEY'RE WALKING AROUND
WITH THEIR HEADS IN THE CLOUD SCREAMING
♪ MUST CATCH THE BANDIT RECKLESS ABANDON
♪ RUNDOWN AND STRANDED MUST CATCH THE BANDIT ♪
>> Stephen: KINGS OF LEON WILL BE BACK ON MONDAY WITH ANOTHER
PERFORMANCE!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> Stephen: HEY, THAT'S IT FOR "A LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.
Captioning sponsored by CBS Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org