>> THE HOUSE HAS JUST PASSED
PRESIDENT BIDEN'S $1.9 TRILLION COVID RELIEF PACKAGE.
>> IT'S ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR MAJOR PIECES OF LEGISLATION IN,
LIKE, THE LAST 30 YEARS.
>> NO REPUBLICANS VOTED FOR IT.
( APPLAUSE )
>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT: PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES
EMMANUEL ACHO AND GINA YASHERE
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
AND NOW, LIVE oN TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE
BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: HEY, THERE YOU ARE!
GLAD TO SEE YOU.
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
LET ME JUST GET A LITTLE... WHET THE WHISTLE BECAUSE THERE'S A
LOT OF WHISTLING TO DO TONIGHT, FOLKS.
IT'S A BIG DAY IN WASHINGTON-- BIG DAY ALL ACROSS AMERICA,
BECAUSE THIS AFTERNOON, THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
PASSED BIDEN'S $1.9 TRILLION COVID RELIEF PLAN.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WOO!
SOMETHING HISTORIC HAPPENED ON CAPITOL HILL, AND IT WASN'T
PUNCHING A COP AND POOPING ON THE RUG.
WOOO!
IT'S A PRETTY LOW BAR.
WOOO!
WITH THIS PASSAGE, THE GOVERNMENT IS ABOUT TO SEND
$1,400 STIMULUS CHECKS TO MILLIONS OF AMERICANS.
THERE YOU GO, BABY!
YOU'RE RICH!
BUY YOURSELF SOMETHING NICE LIKE RENT OR MEDICINE.
THERE YOU GO!
SHAKE THEM UP.
I MEAN YOUR MEDICINE, SHAKE UP YOUR MEDICINE.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO SHAKE IT UP FIRST.
I KNEW THOSE WOULD COME IN HANDY TONIGHT.
THE STIMULUS PACKAGE WAS PRESIDENT BIDEN'S FIRST MAJOR
LEGISLATIVE ACHIEVEMENT-- NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH MAJOR
BIDEN'S FIRST LEGISLATIVE ACHIEVEMENT: "THE CHOMPIN' ON
THE SECRET SERVICE, SQUIRREL!
SQUIRREL! SQUIRREL! ACT."
AND IT'S NOT JUST CHECKS, FOLKS.
THE BILL INCLUDES ALL SORTS OF GOODIES FOR AVERAGE AMERICANS,
LIKE CONTINUED $300 WEEKLY UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS, A BOOSTED
CHILD TAX CREDIT, AID FOR STATES, LOCAL GOVERNMENTS AND
SCHOOLS, AND $20 IN GAP CASH FOR EVERY $100 YOU SPEND ON NEW
RELAXED-FIT JOGGERS.
NANCY PELOSI WAS LITERALLY SINGING THE BILL'S PRAISES.
>> ♪ I'M SO EXCITED ♪ I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT ♪
>> Stephen: ♪ SHE'S ABOUT TO FUND A SCHOOL
♪ AND I THINK SHE LIKES IT! ♪ WHO HAS TO CLEAN ALL THIS UP, BY
THE WAY?
NOT ME.
I'M A JOB CREATOR IS WHAT I AM!
THE $1.9 TRILLION PRICE TAG BRINGS THE TOTAL SPENT ON COVID
RELIEF TO $5.5 TRILLION DOLLARS.
BY COMPARISON, ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION, WORLD WAR II COST THE
U.S. GOVERNMENT ROUGHLY $4 TRILLION.
HOPEFULLY, WE'LL GET SOME GREAT CORONAVIRUS MOVIES LIKE
"INOCULATING PRIVATE RYAN," OR ONE ABOUT YOUR UNCLE WHO STILL
WEARS HIS MASK BELOW HIS NOSE, "DUMB KIRK."
THE ADMINISTRATION SAYS A LARGE NUMBER OF AMERICANS COULD
RECEIVE THEIR $1,400 STIMULUS PAYMENTS BEFORE THE END OF
MARCH.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
THERE'S FINALLY GOING TO BE AN END OF MARCH!
NOW, THE WHITE HOUSE WANTS PEOPLE TO GET THE MONEY A.S.A.P,
AS PRESS SECRETARY JEN PSAKI EXPLAINED YESTERDAY.
>> WE ARE DOING EVERYTHING IN OUR POWER TO EXPEDITE OUR
PAYMENTS AND NOT DELAY THEM, WHICH IS WHY THE PRESIDENT'S
NAME WILL NOT APPEAR ON THE MEMO LINE OF THIS ROUND OF STIMULUS
CHECKS.
>> Stephen: WHAT?
NAME WON'T APPEAR ON THE MEMO.
SHOCKING!
THE PRESIDENT LOVES PUTTING HIS NAME ON THINGS.
WE ALL REMEMBER BIDEN UNIVERSITY, BIDEN VODKA,
BIDEN AIRLINES, AND LUXURIOUS BIDEN TOWER.
BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE: DESPITE NOT HAVING HIS NAME ON THE CHECKS,
BIDEN IS GOING TO TAKE CREDIT.
HE, DR. JILL, KAMALA HARRIS, AND FIRST SECOND MAN DOUG ARE GOING
TO PROMOTE THE PLAN ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, AND WHITE HOUSE
OFFICIALS ARE PREPARING A SPRAWLING SALES CAMPAIGN
DESIGNED TO DRAW ATTENTION TO THE BENEFITS OF THE COVID RELIEF
PACKAGE.
SO GET READY TO SEE A LOT OF BILLBOARDS THAT SAY, "MONEY: YOU
LIKE IT."
BIDEN SAYS HE'S DOING THIS P.R.
PUSH BECAUSE HE LEARNED FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S MISTAKES.
>> MANY REMEMBER THAT IN 2009, WE EXPENDED A LOT OF POLITICAL
CAPITAL-- NANCY AND I AND OTHERS-- IN THE RECOVERY ACT.
AND THE ECONOMISTS TOLD US WE LITERALLY SAVED AMERICA FROM A
DEPRESSION.
BUT WE DIDN'T ADEQUATELY EXPLAIN WHAT WE HAD DONE.
BARACK WAS SO MODEST, HE DIDN'T WANT TO TAKE, AS HE SAID, A
VICTORY LAP.
I KEPT SAYING, "TELL PEOPLE WHAT WE DID."
AND HE SAID, "I DON'T HAVE TIME.
I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE A VICTORY LAP."
AND WE PAID A PRICE FOR THAT, IRONICALLY, FOR THAT HUMILITY.
>> Stephen: WELL, JOE, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE YOUR WORD FOR
IT.
I FOR ONE AM TOO HUMBLE TO KEEP TACK OF WHEN I'VE SHOWN
HUMILITY; THOUGH, A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY I DO HOST THE MOST
HUMBLE SHOW IN LATE NIGHT.
>> COLBERT, THE HUMBLE CHOICE!
>> Stephen: BIDEN MIGHT NOT NEED TO WORK TOO HARD TO SELL HIS
STIMULUS PLAN.
ACCORDING TO POLLS, 75% OF VOTERS SAID THEY SUPPORT THE
PACKAGE, AND BIDEN'S APPROVAL RATING SINCE HE TOOK OFFICE
IS A STEADY 57%.
OLD STEADY JOE.
HE MAY NOT BE AS EXCITING AS THE LAST GUY WE WERE WITH BUT,
YOU KNOW, HE'S GOOD WITH KIDS, IN THAT HE CARES WHETHER THEY
LIVE IN POVERTY.
THIS QUIET, UNFLASHY EFFORT TO JUST GET STUFF DONE HAS SOME IN
THE PRESS CALLING THE PRESIDENT "NO DRAMA BIDEN."
NO, PRESS, NO.
THAT IS OBAMA'S NAME.
YOU CAN'T GIVE IT TO THE NEW GUY.
YOU MIGHT AS WELL CALL HIM JOE "THE ROCK" BIDEN, OR "AIR"
BIDEN, OR "JOEY GAGA."
PLUS, IT'S "NO DRAMA OBAMA" BECAUSE IT RHYMES, OKAY?
WHAT ABOUT "TRAIN RIDIN'" BIDEN, OR "NOT EXCIDIN'" BIDEN? OR
"CARES WHETHER YOU LIVE OR DIE-DEN" BIDEN?
IT'S NOT JUST THE STIMULUS.
BIDEN IS DELIVERING ON OTHER PROMISES AS WELL.
WE ALL REMEMBER THIS: >> OUR GOAL OF 100 MILLION SHOTS
AT THE END OF MY FIRST 100 DAYS AS PRESIDENT.
>> Stephen: IT WAS AN AMBITIOUS BUT ACHIEVABLE GOAL.
IN THE FIRST 100 DAYS OF THE LAST GUY, I THINK I PERSONALLY
DID NEARLY 100 MILLION SHOTS.
WELL, TODAY MARKS THE 50th DAY OF BIDEN'S PRESIDENCY.
TO CELEBRATE, I GOT THE PRESIDENT A CARD.
IT SAYS, "CONGRATU-"
JOE, YOU GET THE OTHER HALF IN 50 DAYS.
EARN IT.
ANYWAY-- I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT WAS SO HOSTILE.
ANYWAY, WE'RE HALFWAY THROUGH THE FIRST 100 DAYS, AND WHEN IT
COMES TO THE VACCINE, SO FAR, AMERICANS HAVE GOTTEN-- DRUM
ROLL, PLEASE-- MORE THAN 75 MILLION DOSES.
WOO!
NO, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T WASTE IT!
>> SORRY!
>> Stephen: IN FACT, BIDEN IS ON PACE TO HIT HIS GOAL OF 100
MILLION VACCINE DOSES AS SOON AS THE END OF NEXT WEEK.
THAT IS IMPRESSIVE.
WHAT WOULD YOU EVEN CALL THAT?
>> IT IS CALLED PROMISES MADE, PROMISES KEPT.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, IRRELEVANT STRANGER.
AND HERE IS THE THING.
AS MUCH LEGISLATIVE MEAT AS JOE IS TOSSING ON THE GRIDDLE,
REPUBLICANS ARE HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE STICKING A FORK IN HIM.
BECAUSE BIDEN ISN'T PROVING TO BE AN EASY TARGET OR ANIMATING
FIGURE FOR THE G.O.P. BASE.
TURNS OUT, SPENDING A YEAR CALLING SOMEONE SENILE AND
SLEEPY DOESN'T MAKE THEM A GOOD BOOGEYMAN.
NO ONE IS AFRAID THAT TOYKO IS GOING TO BE FLATTENED BY
OLD-ZILLA.
ONE G.O.P. SPOKESPERSON PUT IT THIS WAY: "THERE'S JUST NOT THE
ANTIPATHY TO BIDEN LIKE THERE WAS OBAMA.
HE JUST DOESN'T DRIVE CONSERVATIVE OUTRAGE."
HMMM...
I WONDER WHAT'S DIFFERENT ABOUT OBAMA THAT ENRAGED THEIR BASE?
MAYBE THE ROYAL FAMILY KNOWS.
SO WITH NOTHING ELSE TO FIRE UP THE CROWD, THE G.O.P. IS TALKING
NONSTOP ABOUT CULTURAL ISSUES LIKE DR. SEUSS, MEGHAN MARKLE,
AND MR. POTATO HEAD-- ALSO KNOWN AS PIERS MORGAN.
THESE CULTURE WAR DISTRACTIONS WERE CALLED OUT YESTERDAY ON THE
HOUSE FLOOR BY OHIO REPRESENTATIVE AND SPY FINDING
OUT LUNCH IS HERE, TIM RYAN.
DURING A DEBATE ABOUT STRENGTHENING PROTECTIONS FOR
UNIONS, RYAN SAID THIS: >> HEAVEN FORBID WE PASS
SOMETHING THAT'S GOING TO HELP THE DAMN WORKERS IN THE UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA.
WE TALK ABOUT PENSIONS.
YOU COMPLAIN.
WE TALK ABOUT THE MINIMUM WAGE INCREASE, YOU COMPLAIN.
WE TALK ABOUT GIVING THEM THE RIGHT TO ORGANIZE, YOU COMPLAIN.
NOW STOP TALKING ABOUT DR. SEUSS AND START WORKING WITH US ON
BEHALF OF THE AMERICAN WORKERS.
>> Stephen: ( AS RYAN ) "YOU'RE COMPLAINING IN A BOX!
YOU COMPLAIN WHILE ON FOX!
YOU'RE COMPLAINING IN THE HOUSE ABOUT A SAME-SEX SPOUSE!
YOU WILL NOT HELP WITH UNION SUPPORT!
YOU WILL NOT READ THE MUELLER REPORT!
YOU WILL NOT HELP SUPPLY THE VAX!
YOU CAN KISS MY BIG LORAX!" COULD YOU HEAR ANYTHING I WAS
SAYING?
OKAY, GOOD.
SO, THINGS ARE LOOKING UP ON THE COVID FRONT, BUT WE'RE STILL
FACING ANOTHER UNSTOPPABLE PLAGUE-- YOUTHS.
BECAUSE "SPRING BREAKERS ARE PACKING INTO FLORIDA BEACH TOWNS
DESPITE THE PANDEMIC."
NO!
NO, SPRING BREAKERS!
THE ONLY DISEASE YOU BRING BACK FROM SPRING BREAK SHOULD BE
TREATABLE AT THE LOCAL FREE CLINIC!
AS ONE SCHLITZ-FOR-BRAINS EXPLAINED, "I WAS HERE TWO YEARS
AGO AND CAME BACK TO SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE NOW WITH COVID."
SOUND LOGIC.
"I WAS IN THIS BASEMENT STORING OILY RAGS TWO HOURS AGO, SO I
CAME BACK TO SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE NOW WITH FIRE."
IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING, "DISNEY WORLD IS ALSO FULLY
BOOKED FOR SPRING BREAK," DESPITE "FLORIDA STILL AVERAGING
ABOUT 5,000 CASES A DAY.
SO IF YOU'RE HITTING DISNEY WORLD, BE SURE AND TAKE THE KIDS
TO THE COUNTRY BEAR EUL-O-GEE.
POINT IS, WE HAVE TO BEAT THIS PANDEMIC.
MOST OF US HAVE BEEN ON ZOOM EVERY DAY FOR THE LAST YEAR, AND
ACCORDING TO RESEARCHERS, STARING AT YOUR COWORKERS'
FACES, UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL, IS PROBABLY TRIGGERING YOUR
"FIGHT OR FLIGHT" SURVIVAL REFLEX.
I'M GUESSING MOSTLY "FIGHT," BECAUSE, REALLY, WHO WANTS TO
TAKE A FLIGHT?
ZOOM TRIGGERS CRISIS MODE DUE TO OUR PRIMATE INSTINCTS.
AS THE DESCENDANTS OF PLAINS APES, WE DON'T LIKE BEING STARED
AT.
IN FACT, CLOSE, FACE-TO-FACE, ON-SCREEN MEETINGS CAN SET OFF
THE SAME PHYSIOLOGICAL REACTION AS A THREAT OR ATTACK.
OH, I'VE DEFINITELY FELT THAT.
THAT'S WHY, DURING MY FIRST ZOOM INTERVIEW WITH DANIEL
RADCLIFFE, I LUNGED AT THE SCREEN WITH A SHARPENED BONE.
NOW LET'S TURN TO FOOOOD NEEEWS!
( ECHO ) THERE'S OUTRAGE IN THE BIG CITY!
AND WE HERE IN THE BIG APPLE ARE BESIDE OURSELVES, AND THAT'S
NOT EASY, BECAUSE THE APARTMENTS ARE REALLY SMALL.
THE OUTRAGE COMES FROM AN ARTICLE IN "THE NEW YORK TIMES"
CLAIMING THE BEST BAGELS ARE IN CALIFORNIA.
AS A NATIVE WASHINGTONIAN, SOUTH CAROLINIAN, CHICAGOAN, NEW YORK
TRI-STATE-AREAN, I TAKE THIS PERSONALLY.
CALIFORNIA HAS BETTER BAGELS, "NEW YORK TIMES"?
REALLY?
ARE YOU SCHMEARIOUS?
THIS HURTS A LOX.
MAYBE WITH A LITTLE RED ONION, SLICE OF TOMATO.
OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS CARBOHYDRATE TREASON TO SEE NEW YORK CITY'S OWN
NEWSPAPER SHILLING FOR WEST COAST BAGELS, SAYING THEY HAVE
A COMFORTING SQUISH-- THICK BUT YIELDING, CHEWY BUT NOT
DENSELY SO.
OKAY, "COMFORTING SQUISH"?
THAT'S NOT A BAGEL.
THAT'S A TRAVEL PILLOW.
NEW YORKERS KNOW THAT REAL BAGELS SHOULD BE SO DURABLE YOU
CAN GIVE IT TO YOUR TEETHING BABY, AND HALF AN HOUR LATER,
IT'S UNBLEMISHED.
AND THE BAGEL'S FINE, TOO.
THE ARTICLE PROFILES SEVERAL CALIFORNIA BAGEL BAKERS,
BAGEL BAKERS, CALIFORNIA BAGEL BAKERS,
INCLUDING ONE WHO STARTED SELLING SMALL BATCHES OF BAGELS
ON HER BICYCLE.
BAGELS ON A BICYCLE?
NO, A BAGEL IS SOMETHING YOU CRY-EAT ON THE SUBWAY WITH YOUR
FACE IN A STRANGER'S ARMPIT WHILE A MAN DOWN THE CAR DOES
BACKFLIPS AND YELLS THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BURN FOR YOUR SINS--
YOU KNOW, BREAKFAST!
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
MY GUESTS ARE "THE BACHELOR'S" EMMANUEL ACHO.
AND FROM "BOB HEARTS ABISHOLA," GINA YASHERE.
BUT WHEN WE RETURN, WHO WANTS TO KEEP YOU FROM VOTING?
THE ANSWER WON'T SURPRISE YOU.
STICK AROUND.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."
LET'S SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE.
JON.
♪ ♪ ♪ GRANDFATHER, IS THAT YOU?
I FEEL YOUR SPIRIT IN THE ROOM.
JON, JON, I LIKE THE CASUAL-- I LIKE THE CASUAL JON BATISTE.
I LIKE THIS.
>> Jon: YES, SPRING IS COMING.
>> Stephen: SAME HERE.
LOOK I GOT-- I GOT SPRING PASTEL COLORS GOING ON, MAN.
>> Jon: I LIKE THAT.
IT'S FEELING GOOD OUT THERE, TOO, RIGHT?
>> Stephen: YEAH.
I CAN'T-- I CAN'T WAIT TO ACTUALLY GET OUT THERE BECAUSE
THIS FRIDAY, JUST TO REMIND EVERYBODY OUT THERE, THIS FRIDAY
WE HAVE A SPECIAL SHOW.
MY GUEST IS DR. ANTHONY FAUCI, BECAUSE WE ARE MARKING ONE
FULL-- PARDON THE EXPRESSION-- DAMN YEAR OF DOING THE SHOW
WITHOUT AN AUDIENCE.
AND I THANK YOU-- THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE EVERY NIGHT
FOR A YEAR.
YOU'RE A ROCK.
>> Jon: OH, YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
I LOVE IT.
LOVE BEING WITH YOU.
AND THE PEOPLE IN THIS TIME.
IT'S WONDERFUL.
>> Stephen: YOU GOT-- YOU GOT ANYTHING TO LIFT THE SPIRITS OF
PEOPLE AS THEY'RE HOLDING ON THOSE LAST FEW-- WHITE KNUCKLING
IT THESE LAST FEW MONTHS?
>> Jon: OH, YEAH, YEAH, LET'S SEE...
♪ ♪ ♪ HEY!
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU, JON.
FOLK, EARLIER IN THE SHOW, BEFORE THE COMMERCIAL BREAK,
I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE REPUBLICAN STRATEGY TO TALK LESS
ABOUT COVID RELIEF AND MORE ABOUT MR. POTATO HEAD'S--
SHALL WE SAY "STIMULUS PACKAGE."
BUT THAT'S JUST REPUBLICAN PLAN "A."
PLAN "B" IS TO SHATTER THE FOUNDATIONS OF DEMOCRACY.
AND THEY'VE HAD SOME SUCCESSES, BUT THEY DID SUFFER ONE MINOR
SETBACK ON MONDAY WHEN THE SUPREME COURT DECLINED TO TAKE
UP THE EX-PRESIDENT'S FINAL BID TO NULLIFY THE 2020 ELECTION
RESULTS.
OH, SUCH A SHAME.
THAT CASE WAS OUR LAST CHANCE TO HEAR RUDY GIULIANI'S DRAMATIC
CLOSING FARTS.
OF COURSE, SOME REPUBLICANS ARE STILL SPREADING THE LIE THAT THE
ELECTION WAS STOLEN BY VOTER FRAUD.
AND WHILE COURTS FOUND NO FRAUD, THE G.O.P. DID FIND ALARMING
LEVELS OF VOTER.
BIDEN WON THANKS, IN PART, TO RECORD VOTER TURNOUT.
AND IN RESPONSE, REPUBLICANS HAVE INTRODUCED 253 BILLS IN
43 STATES THAT RESTRICT VOTING ACCESS.
ALTHOUGH, IF THOSE BILLS PASS, I HEARD IT IS ONLY BECAUSE THEY
GOT VOTES FROM DEAD LEGISLATORS DUMPING BALLOTS IN THE MIDDLE OF
THE NIGHT ON DOMINION VOTING MACHINES WITH THE HELP OF THEIR
I.T. GUY, GHOST HUGO CHAVEZ.
THIS WEEK, A NEW LAW RESTRICTING VOTER ACCESS WAS SIGNED BY
IOWA GOVERNOR KIM REYNOLDS, SEEN HERE DEMONSTRATING PROPER
TECHNIQUE FOR SMOOCHING THE EX-PRESIDENT'S BEHIND.
REPUBLICANS SAY THE LAW IS AIMED AT DEFENDING THE INTEGRITY OF
THE STATE'S ELECTION SYSTEM.
HOW DOES IT DEFEND THAT INTEGRITY?
BY CUTTING IOWA'S EARLY VOTING PERIOD FROM 29 TO 20 DAYS, AND
ORDERING POLLS TO CLOSE AT 8:00 P.M. INSTEAD OF 9:00 P.M.
OH, YEAH, YOU GOT TO, BECAUSE 8:00 TO 9:00 IS THE FRAUDING
HOUR.
CROOKS REFUSE TO START THEIR CRIME SPREE UNTIL THEY SEE HOW
KATIE COURIC'S DOING AS HOST OF "JEOPARDY!"
BUT THE BIGGEST ATTACK ON VOTING RIGHTS IS HAPPENING IN GEORGIA.
BIDEN NARROWLY WON THE STATE, WHICH TERRIFIED REPUBLICANS.
SO, ON MONDAY, THE G.O.P.-LED STATE SENATE PASSED A NEW BILL
REPEALING NO-EXCUSE ABSENTEE VOTING AND REQUIRING GEORGIANS
WHO VOTE BY MAIL TO SUBMIT A PHOTO I.D. AND HAVE THEIR BALLOT
SIGNED BY A WITNESS.
THEY'RE CLEARLY JUST TRYING TO MAKE THIS IMPOSSIBLE.
"HONEY, I'M MAILING IN OUR BALLOTS.
DO WE HAVE ANY STAMPS, WITNESSES, AFFIDAVITS, CHEEK
SWABS, SPARE KIDNEYS, AND TOENAIL CLIPPINGS OF A YETI?"
THIS IS WIDELY SEEN AS A DESPERATE REACTION TO THE RISE
OF BLACK MAIL-IN VOTING IN 2020.
STILL, COULD BACKFIRE ON THE G.O.P, CONSIDERING THAT IN 2020,
MAIL-IN BALLOTS WERE CAST BY 450,000 REPUBLICANS.
THAT'S RIGHT-- TO STOP VOTING, THEY'RE WILLING TO
DISENFRANCHISE THEIR OWN VOTERS.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: YOU'VE GOTTA BREAK A FEW EGGS TO
MAKE AN OMELETTE, EVEN MORE IF IT'S GOING TO BE EGG WHITES
ONLY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "NEW YORK TIMES" BESTSELLING AUTHOR,
EMMANUEL ACHO.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."
HE IS THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF
"UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS WITH A BLACK MAN."
ON MONDAY NIGHT, HE WILL BE HOSTING "THE BACHELOR: AFTER THE
FINAL ROSE."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," EMMANUEL ACHO!
EMMANUEL, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> MY BROTHER, SO GOOD TO SEE YOU, MY FRIEND.
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE ONE OF THE FEW GUESTS WE HAVE ACTUALLY HAD
TWICE IN COVID.
THIS IS HOW LONG IT'S BEEN GOING ON.
THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, WE WERE TALKING ABOUT
"UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS WITH A BLACK MAN" AND
UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS IN GENERAL.
AND WHILE TALKING ABOUT SYSTEMIC RACISM AS A WHITE MAN CAN BE
UNCOMFORTABLE, I DON'T MEAN TO DISAPPOINT YOU, BUT YOU'RE
ACTUALLY VERY COMFORTABLE TO TALK TO.
I HOPE THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A FAILURE TO YOU.
>> OH, IT'S A CATCH-22.
I LURE YOU IN BY SAYING IT WILL BE UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT ONCE
YOU'RE HERE, STEPHEN, IT'S ALL COMFORT, MY FRIEND.
>> Stephen: THIS SUMMER, YOU LAUNCHED A WEB SERIES TO TALK
ABOUT RACE IN AMERICA.
AT THAT POINT, WHEN WE WERE TALKING THIS SUMMER, DID YOU, IN
YOUR WILDEST DREAMS, THINK YOU WOULD BE HOSTING "THE BACHELOR"
THE NEXT TIME WE TALKED?
>> ABSOLUTELY NOT.
THAT IS THE CRAZIEST OF STORIES THAT "UNCOMFORTABLE
CONVERSATIONS WITH A BLACK MAN" A BOOK ABOUT RACIAL
RECONCILIATION WILL LEAD YOU-- LEAD ME-- TO NOW HOSTING THE
MOST-UNCOMFORTABLE EPISODE OF ONE OF THE MOST-WATCHED SHOWS IN
OUR RECENT HISTORY.
MIND BLOWING.
>> Stephen: IT IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE.
LET'S GET TO THAT.
"THE BACHELOR" IS ALWAYS FULL OF DRAMA, OBVIOUSLY.
BUT THIS SEASON WAS PARTICULARLY DRAMATIC.
THERE WAS CONTROVERSY OFF SCREEN.
FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW, CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED, AND
WHY PEOPLE WERE SO UPSET?
>> TWO-FOLD.
FIRST AND FOREMOST, THIS SEASON WAS THE FIRST BLACK BACHELOR,
MATT JAMES.
THAT'S NO SMALL FEAT.
20 SEASONS AND WE NOW HAVE OUR FIRST BLACK BACHELOR-- OVER 20
SEASONS, IN FACT.
BUT ALSO, ONE OF HIS FINAL THREE FRONT-RUNNERS, RACHEL, SHE WAS
PICTURED AT AN ANTEBELLUM-STYLE PLANTATION ON SOCIAL MEDIA IN
2018.
AND THOSE PICTURES RESURFACED.
SHE IS A WHITE WOMAN, OBVIOUSLY, AND SO YOU HAVE MATT JAMES, A
BLACK MAN, ONE OF HIS FINAL FRONT-RUNNERS, RACHEL, HAS THESE
PICTURES SURFACE, THESE RACIALLY INSENSITIVE PICTURES.
IMAGINE HOW CONVOLUTED AND VOLATILE THIS TOPIC IS BECAUSE
YOU'RE DEALING WITH LOVE AND YOU'RE ALSO DEALING WITH RACE
AND RACIAL INSENSITIVITY.
>> Stephen: OKAY, AND THIS IS-- AND I BELIEVE, IF I'M NOT
MISTAKEN, THESE ARE LIKE A-- QUOTE, UNQUOTE-- OLD SOUTH DAYS.
IT'S PEOPLE IN HOOP SKIRTS.
IT'S ACTUALLY RCREATING THE LOOK, IF NOT THE ENVIRONMENT
OF-- OF AN OLD SOUTH PLANTATION.
>> CORRECT.
ANTEBELLUM SOUTH PLANTATION IS THE PROPER TERM.
FOR THOSE AT HOME WONDERING, REMEMBER ANTEBELLUM IN LATIN
MEANS "BEFORE THE WAR," THE WAR IN QUESTION, THE CIVIL WAR THAT
FREED THE SLAVES.
SHE IS PICTURED IN ATTIRE CELEBRATING, IF YOU WILL, BACK
IN 2018, FOR WHICH SHE HAS SINCE APOLOGIZED, BUT SHE IS PICTURED
IN ATTIRE OF OLD SOUTH ANTEBELLUM PLANTATION, A
CELEBRATION, IF YOU.
THAT'S AT LEAST HOW IT LOOKS.
>> Stephen: AND, YOU KNOW, A CELEBRATION AND, ALSO, AT THE
VERY LEAST, A WILLFUL IGNORANCE ABOUT THE TRAGEDY ASSOCIATED
WITH THAT ENTIRE CULTURE.
OKAY, SO, THERE'S THE ORIGINAL SCANDAL, OR THERE'S THE ORIGINAL
PROBLEM.
NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT CHRIS HARRISON.
HOW DID THAT COME ABOUT?
FOR THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW THAT STORY, WHAT HAPPENED THERE
THAT HAS NOW PUT YOU IN THE HOSTING POSITION?
>> YEAH, SO CHRIS HARRISON, WHO HAS BEEN THE HOST FOR 20 YEARS
AND HAS RECENTLY STEPPED ASIDE DURING THIS MOMENT, HE TRIED TO
GO TO THE DEFENSE OF RACHEL IN AN INTERVIEW WITH RACHEL
LINDSEY, AND CHRIS HARRISON, HE WAS-- AS HE WOULD ADMIT-- WAS
IGNORANT AND WAS ARROGANT IN SAYING THAT, WELL, IN 2018, WHAT
RACHEL DID WASN'T THAT BAD."
CHRIS HARRISON'S WORDS, NOT NECESSARILY MY OWN.
AND "WE'VE ALL KIND OF ACKNOWLEDGED AND CALLED TO THE
ATTENTION."
NO, NO, NO, IN 2018, IT WAS JUST AS BAD.
WE ARE MORE AWARE NOW, BUT 2018, ACKNOWLEDGING AND DRESSING IN
THE ATTIRE OF AN ANTEBELLUM SOUTH PLANTATION IS JUST AS BAD
AS IT IS RIGHT NOW TODAY.
>> Stephen: I THINK THAT IS SAFE TO SAY, THOSE ARE HIS WORDS
NOT YOURS.
>> VERY SAFE TO SAY.
>> Stephen: HERE WE ARE.
SO HE STEPS ASIDE TEMPORARILY FROM THOSE DUTIES.
DO YOU HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT WHETHER HE SHOULD BE DISMISSED
FOR GOOD FOR THIS?
OR IS THIS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR EDUCATION AND REDEMPTION FOR
SOMEONE?
>> YEAH, I DON'T BELIEVE IN CANCEL CULTURE.
I DO BELIEVE IN ACCOUNTABILITY.
AND SO, I THINK THAT RIGHT NOW, HE IS TAKING ACCOUNTABILITY FOR
HIS ACTIONS.
FOR EVERY ACTION THERE'S AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REACTION.
THAT CAN BE A LAW OF NEWTON OR BASIC COMMON SENSE.
HE HAD AN ACTION AND IS CURRENTLY DEALING WITH THE
REACTION FROM THAT.
SHOULD HE RETURN TO THAT ROLE?
YOU HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT'S IN THE BEST INTEREST OF CHRIS HARRISON?
WHAT'S IN THE BEST OF THE SHOW AND THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS.
BUT, ALSO, WHAT'S IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CAST?
YOU KNOW, THEY'RE TRYING TO COMMIT TO DIVERSITY.
YOU HAD YOUR FIRST BLACK BACHELOR.
WHAT'S IN THE BEST INTEREST OF ALL THREE OF THOSE PRIMARY
PARTIES AT PLAY AND MAKE THE DECISION THAT SERVES THE MOST
GOOD.
>> Stephen: AS YOU SAID, IT WAS AFTER 20 SEASONS-- 23
SEASONS, SOMETHING LIKE, THAT BEFORE YOU HAD THE FIRST BLACK
BACHELOR, AND WHEN YOU HAD THE FIRST BACHELORETTE.
DO YOU THINK THESE SHOWS SHOULD MORE ACCURATELY REFLECT REALITY
IN AMERICA?
YOU KNOW, THE REALITY THAT WE ALL LIVE OF-- OF A DIVERSE
CULTURE OF 20 DRUNK WOMEN LIVING IN ONE HOUSE TRYING TO GET ONE
GUY TO MARRY THEM-- YOU KNOW, THE REALITY OF AMERICA
( LAUGHS ) >> OH, YOU ARE A FOOL, MY
FRIEND.
>> Stephen: I TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT.
BUT-- YOU KNOW, IT IS-- BECAUSE THE REASON I ASK IS THAT
DIVERSITY IS A WONDERFUL THING.
ARE THESE SHOWS ESSENTIALLY FANTASY TO BEGIN WITH?
ARE WE PUTTING TOO MUCH WEIGHT ON A REALITY SHOW?
>> SO, HERE IS THE ISSUE AT HAND.
THIS SHOW, "THE BACHELOR" AND "THE BACHELORETTE," THEY ARE
SUPPOSED TO BE THE UTOPIAN RELATIONSHIP IN AMERICA.
BUT IF FOR 20 SEASONS ALL WE SEE IS A WHITE MALE LEAD, IF FOR 13
SEASONS ALL WE SEE IS A WHITE FEMALE LEAD, THEN WHAT IS A
UTOPIAN DEPICTION OF LOVE IN AMERICA?
AS ME, AS A BLACK PERSON, I'M LOOKING AT THAT SHOW AND SAYING,
"WHERE DO I FIT IN?
WHERE I DO BELONG?" SO I THINK WE ALL HAVE TO COMMIT
BOTH IN SHOWS LIKE "THE BACHELOR" AND "THE
BACHELORETTE," AND IN OUR SOCIETY OF MORE ACCURATELY
REPRESENTING THE WHOLE, MORE ACCURATELY SERVING EVERYONE.
HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
YOU DON'T JUST DO IT BY WHO YOUR LEAD CHARACTER IS, BUT WHO IS
CASTING?
WHO ARE YOUR PRODUCERS?
IS THERE DIVERSITY ACROSS EVERY BOARD, MY FRIEND.
>> Stephen: OKAY, LET'S TALK ABOUT THE "AFTER THE ROSE" SHOW
THAT YOU'RE HOSTING.
I KNOW YOU CAN'T TELL US WHO GOT PICKED OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
I'M NOT TRYING TO, LIKE, SQUEEZE THAT OUT OF YOU--
>> IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE.
IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE.
>> Stephen: JUST GIVE ME A SCALE OF THE DRAMA.
ON A SCALE OF ONE TO 10, WHERE IS THE DRAMA ON THIS ONE?
>> I CAN FERVENTLY SAY THIS WILL BE THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE
CONVERSATION IN BACHELOR FRANCHISE HISTORY.
WHY?
BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND --
>> Stephen: BECAUSE EMMANUEL ACHO IS WILLING TO HAVE THAT
UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATION.
>> LOOK, THOUGH, STEPHEN, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND.
YOU'RE NOW MIXING LOVE-- WHICH IS ONE OF THE STRONGEST
EMOTIONS-- ALONG WITH RACIAL TENSION, WHICH IS ONE OF THE
MOST TOXIC AND VOLATILE TOPICS OF OUR CURRENT DAY.
LIKE, YOU'RE MIXING TWO INCREDIBLY STRONG AND VOLATILE
SUBJECT MATTERS, AND WEAVING THEM TOGETHER IN ONE FINAL
HOUR-LONG EPISODE AFTER THE CULMINATION OF THE SHOW.
IT BREEDS DISCOMFORT, AND I'M SO THRILLED TO BE A PART OF IT.
>> Stephen: I'LL WATCH.
I'LL WATCH.
OKAY.
JUST AS A FAN, I'VE GOT TO KNOW, ARE YOU A BACHELOR GUY OR A
"BACHELORETTE" GUY?
BECAUSE I-- "BACHELOR," QUALITY SHOW.
"BACHELORETTE," I REALLY ENJOY, LIKE, THE 20, YOU KNOW,
GREASED-UP MEAT SLABS FLEXING ON EACH OTHER.
THAT'S WHAT I REALLY LIKE.
THAT'S MY FAVORITE.
I-- I'M HERE FOR IT.
>> I'M GOING TO SAY I'M A "BACHELORETTE" GUY BECAUSE I
LIKE SEEING THE MEN HAVE TO COMPETE AND SEEING ALL THEIR
EGOS GET INVOLVED.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> THEY GET SENSITIVE AND ALL THESE MACHO MEN GET THEIR HEARTS
BROKEN AND WHATNOT.
I PREFER IT THAT WAY.
>> Stephen: NOW, YOU WOULD MAKE A GREAT BACHELOR ON "THE
BACHELORETTE" COMPETING WITH THE OTHER GUYS.
HAVE YOU-- HAVE YOU-- WOULD YOU DO THE SHOW?
>> DUDE, TRUE STORY, TRUE STORY.
I'VE SAID IT BUT NEVER THIS PUBLICLY.
I WAS ASKED TO DO THE SHOW THREE TIMES NOW.
IN 2018, THEN LATER IN 2018 FOR WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN HANNAH
BROWN SEASON, AND THE BEGINNING OF 2020, I WAS AGAIN APPROACHED
ABOUT DOING THE SHOW.
AND I TURNED IT DOWN ALL THREE TIMES.
AND LOOK -- >> Stephen: WHY!
YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN AN AUDIENCE FAVORITE!
>> I'D LIKE TO KEEP MY PUBLIC LIFE PUBLIC, AND MY PRIVATE LIFE
PRIVATE.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
SO ONE OTHER THING YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT IS YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO TELL ME WHO GOT PICKED.
AND I WON'T EVEN SAY...
WHO YOU WOULD PICK BETWEEN THE TWO FINALISTS, WHICH ARE RACHEL
AND MICHELLE.
BUT DO YOU HAVE AN OPINION?
DO YOU HAVE A CHOICE IN YOUR MIND IF YOU HAD TO PICK?
>> I MEAN, IT'S INTERESTING, RIGHT, RACHEL IS CURRENTLY
DEALING WITH ALL OF THIS RACIALLY TENSE CONTROVERSY.
SO THAT WOULD KIND OF, OBVIOUSLY, SKEW MY DECISION AS A
BLACK MAN, IF I ALREADY KNEW ABOUT SAID CONTROVERSY.
BUT I THINK WHAT'S SO INTERESTING IS WATCHING BOTH OF
THE LOVE CONNECTIONS PLAY OUT.
I THINK MATT AND RACHEL HAVE AN INCREDIBLE CONNECTION, JUST
INFECTION.
MATT ADMITTED HE WAS FALLING FOR RACHEL FIRST.
AND MICHELLE AND MATT THEY REALLY VIBE AND WE SAW IT AND
CONTINUE TO SEE IT OVER THE COURSE OF THE SEASON.
I CAN'T SPEAK FOR MICHELLE-- FOR MATT, RATHER.
BUT I'M EXCITED TO WATCH IT PLAY OUT.
>> Stephen: ME, TOO.
AND I'M ALSO EXCITING ABOUT YOUR NEW BOOK.
IT'S A-- IT'S A FOLLOW-UP TO "UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS
WITH A BLACK MAN."
AND IT'S "UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS WITH A BLACK BOY."
WHO IS THIS BOOK FOR?
>> STEPHEN WHEN I WAS AN ADOLESCENT, I ALWAYS HEARD,
"EMMANUEL YOU'RE LIKE AN OREO-- WHITE ON THE INSIDE, BLACK ON
THE OUTSIDE."
I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW OFFENSIVE THAT WAS BECAUSE MY WHITE
FRIEND, WHEN I WAS YOUNG WERE SAYING, "EMMANUEL, YOU'RE TOO
SMART TO BE BLACK."
OR "YOU DRESS TOO WELL TO BE BLACK."
SM I HAD AN IDENTITY COMPLEX.
SO THIS BOOK IS FOR OUR YOUNG ADULTS.
THINK AGES 12-16, 10-14, BECAUSE IF WE CAN FIX THE NEXT
GENERATION OF IGNORANCE, IF WE CAN FIX THE NEXT GENERATION OF
INSENSITIVITY, THEN WE CAN CURE THE PROBLEM AT THE ROOT.
DON'T TRY TO CORRECT THE LEAVES.
DON'T TRY TO CUT DOWN THE BRANCHES.
FIX THE ROOTS OF OUR RACIAL IGNORANCE OF OUR SOCIETY AND
THEN WATCH WHAT SPROWTS FROM THERE.
>> Stephen: EMMANUEL, THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> Jon: MY PLEASURE, MY FRIEND.
>> Stephen: "THE BACHELOR: AFTER THE FINAL ROSE" AIRS ON
THIS MONDAY NIGHT ON ABC.
EMMANUEL ACHO, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH COMEDIAN GINA YASHERE.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME BACK.
MY NEXT GUEST IS A STAND-UP COMEDIAN, ACTOR, AND WRITER WHO
CO-CREATED AND STARS IN THE CBS SITCOM, "BOB HEARTS ABISHOLA."
>> ABISHOLA, I DON'T WANT TO ALARM YOU, BUT I HAVE ALARMING
NEWS.
( LAUGHTER ) MY COUSIN CALLED ME EARLY THIS
MORNING THAT HER FRIEND WENT TO THE MARKET TO BUY A NEW DVD
PLAYER BECAUSE HER BABY WAS SLICES OF TOAST.
SHE WAS ON THE SECOND-TO-LAST EPISODE OF MATICO, SEASON TWO.
NOW, IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY, THEY ACTUALLY SAY...
>> KEMI, CAN YOU PLEASE GET TO THE POINT?
>> YOU WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO BUILD UP THE SUSPENSE?
>> NO.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> FINE.
YOUR HUSBAND IS COMING TO AMERICA.
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME, GINA YASHERE.
HEY, GINA.
>> HEY, NICE TO MEET YOU, KIND OF, SORT OF, IN A WAY.
>> Stephen: A LITTLE BIT.
IT'S ODDLY DISTANT AND INTIMATE AT THE SAME TIME.
THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
FOR THE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO KNOW YOU FROM "BOB HEARTS
ABISHOLA," BUT DON'T KNOW THE REST OF YOUR CAREER, YOU'RE
ALREADY A FAMOUS AND SUCCESSFUL COMEDIAN IN THE U.K., BEFORE YOU
CAME TO THE UNITED STATES.
WHEN I MEET A COMEDIAN FOR THE FIRST TIME, I'M ALWAYS CURIOUS
AT WHAT POINT DID YOU DIVE INTO IT?
A LOT OF PEOPLE DANCE AROUND THE EDGES OF THE DREAM OF BEING A
COMEDIAN BEFORE THEY ACTUALLY COMMIT.
WAS THIS ALWAYS WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO DO?
OR DID YOU HAVE ANOTHER PATH?
>> I HAD ANOTHER PATH.
I'M FROM A NIGERIAN FAMILY SO WE'RE VERY ACADEMIC.
MY PREVIOUS JOB, MY MOTHER, WHEN SHE'S HAVING US, IN EVERY
AFRICAN FAMILY, FIVE CHOICES-- DOCTOR, LAWYER, ENGINEER,
ACCOUNTANT, DISGRACE TO THE FAMILY.
THOSE ARE THE CHOICES.
WHEN MY MOM WAS HAVING US, SHE PICKED OUT ALL OUR JOBS IN
ADVANCE.
I WAS MEANT TO BE A DOCTOR.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DOCTOR.
>> Stephen: WAIT, FROM WHAT AGE?
SHE PICKED YOU OUT WHEN SHE WAS HAVING YOU?
YOU MEAN, SHE EMERGED AS A DOCTOR.
>> SOMEBODY SAID, "WHAT ARE YOU HAVING A BOY OR GIRL?"
SHE SAID, "I'M HAVING A DOCTOR."
THAT'S HOW LONG AGO SHE PLANNED IT.
SHE GROOMED ME TO BE A DOCTOR.
I GOT TO 18.
WE HAD TO CUT OPEN A RAT IN BIOLOGY, DISCOVERED I COULDN'T
STAND THE SIGHT OF BLOOD, SWITCHED TO ENGINEERING, AND MY
MOMMA DIDN'T MIND BECAUSE IT WAS FOURTH ON THE LIST.
THAT WAS MY JOB, I WAS AN ELECTRICAL ELECTRONICS ENGINEER
IN MY PREVIOUS LIFE BEFORE I DID COMEDY.
MY LAST JOB WAS WORKING FOR OTIS ELEVATORS, BUILDING AND
REPAIRING ELEVATORS.
I WAS THE FIRST FEMALE ENGINEER THEY EVER HAD IN THE OTIS U.K.,
IN THE HISTORY.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S WORKING ON AN ELEVATOR LIKE?
WE ALL NEED THEM AND WE DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW THEY WORK.
BUT WHAT DO I CO?
>> LISTEN, IF THEY BREAK DOWN, YOU GET UNDER THEM, YOU CLIMB ON
TOP OF THEM.
YOU RIDE ON TOP OF THEM.
SOMETIMES YOU MIGHT BE IN AN ELEVATOR, AND THERE'S AN
ENGINEER SITTING ON TOP OF THE ELEVATOR WATCHING I WORK TO
MAKE SURE IT'S WORKING PROPERLY.
SO THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
WE'RE IN THEM.
WE'RE ON THEM.
WE'RE UNDER THEM.
WE'RE IN THE MOTOR ROOM.
WE'RE ALL OVER THAT.
>> Stephen: WAIT, SO YOU'RE RIDING ON TOP OF AN ELEVATOR
WHILE IT'S GOING UP AND DOWN?
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THAT LIKE?
>> IT'S LIKE-- IT DEPENDS ON THE ELEVATOR, BUT I RODE ON THE
ELEVATORS AT THE WORLD TRADE CENTER-- OBVIOUSLY,
PREZ-TRAVAGANZA-9/11-- I RODE ON TOP OF THOSE BECAUSE I HAD
FRIENDS WITH AMERICAN ENGINEERS WHO WORKED WITH ME IN ENGLAND.
AND THEY TOOK ME.
IT WAS LIKE THE BEST ROLLER COASTER RIDE YOU'RE EVER GOING
TO HAVE IN YOUR LIFE.
>> Stephen: LIKE, IN MOVIES LIKE "MISSION IMPOSSIBLE" OR
"DIEHARD" OR SOMETHING YOU SEE THOSE GUYS RIDING ON TOP OF
THOSE?
IS THAT ACCURATE?
>> MOST OF THEM.
BEST FILM THAT DID IT, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, WAS "SPEED."
"SPEED--" BECAUSE I USED TO GO WITH MOVIES AND SIT WITH MY
FRIENDS, "THAT ISN'T ACCURATE.
THE SAFETY GEAR WOULD KICK IN AT 2.3 MILES AN HOUR.
THEY'RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT."
AND MY FRIENDS WERE LIKE, "SHUT UP!"
BUT "SPEED" WAS THE ONLY FILM THAT DID IT PROPERLY.
EVERYTHING WAS CORRECT.
I WATCH THAT STUFF, EVEN NOW, EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT AN
ENGINEER.
I FELL INTO COMEDY HEAD FIRST.
I LEFT MY JOB AS AN ENGINEER.
IT WASN'T A FUN JOB.
I WAS THE FIRST WOMAN, AND IT WASN'T GREAT AND PUT UP WITH A
LOT OF RACISM AND MISOGYNY.
AFTER FOUR YEARS I'M LIKE I'M DONE WITH THAT.
I'M DONE.
I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING ELSE.
AND I LOWEST.
IN INTERRISM, I WAS LIKE, "LET ME TRY THIS STAND-UP COMEDY.
PEOPLE TOLD ME I'M FUNNY."
I CAME FROM AN ACADEMIC FAMILY.
AND I SAID PEOPLE SAID I COULD DO COMEDY.
AND HER MOTHER SAID, NO YOU'RE A DOCTOR.
I SAID LET ME TRY THE COMEDY THING.
THREW MYSELF IN HEAD FIRST, NEVER WENT BACK TO ENGINEERING?
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE FROM GINA YASHERE.
♪ ♪ ♪ A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH
MEGHAN MARKLE OR HAD ONE, AND SHE CUT YOU OFF.
>> OKAY, I'M DONE WITH THIS.
>> NO, NO, NO.
>> SORRY, SORRY.
>> DO YOU KNOW WHAT-- >> CONGRATULATIONS!
YOU GOT PIERS MORGAN TO QUIT YOUR TALK SHOW.
TELL THEM WHAT THEY'VE WON.
AN ALL-EXPENSES-PAID DREAM VACATION TO RIGHT HERE, THE ONLY
PLACE WE GUARANTEE PIERS MORGAN IS NOT.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE BACK WITH ONE OF THE STARS AND COCREATORS OF "BOB HEARTS
ABISHOLA," COMEDIAN GINA YASHERE.
YOU HAVE A NEW BOOK CALLED "CACK-HANDED: A MEMOIR."
YOU WROTE THIS OVER QUARANTINE?
THAT'S VERY PRODUCTIVE.
>> I DID, YES.
I DIDN'T-- YOU KNOW, QUARANTINE HAS BEEN HORRIBLE.
BUT AT LEAST IT MADE ME SIT DOWN IN ONE PLACE AND KNOCK THIS BOOK
OUT.
>> Stephen: FOR THOSE OF US-- THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BRITISH TERM
THAT I WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT IS CACK-HANDED.
>> IT MEANS MANY THINGS.
ONE IS LEFT-HANDED, WHICH IS WHAT I AM, AND ALSO MEANS
AWKWARD AND CLUMSY, WHICH IS A TERM DEFINITELY WE'RE BURDENED
WITH AS LEFT-HANDERS THAT WE'RE AWKWARD AND CLUMSY.
I DID SPEND MOST OF MY LIFE BEING THAT.
NOT BECAUSE OF ME.
IT'S BECAUSE OF WORLD IS RIGHT-HANDED.
EVERYTHING IS MADE FOR THE RIGHT-HANDED.
IF I'M AT A BAR AND A RIGHT-HANDED PERSON PUTS THEIR
DRINK NEXT TO ME, I'M LEFT-HANDED, AS I MOVE YOUR HAND
I'M KNOCKING YOUR DRINK OVER AND I'M THE CLUMSY ONE.
BUT I'M NOT.
IT'S YOU GUYS.
IT MEANS AWKWARD, CLUMSY, LEFT-HANDED.
AND ALSO IS ANOTHER WORD FOR POO, BECAUSE IN MANY CULTURES
THE LEFT HAND IS THE HAND USED TO WIPE YOUR BUM WHEN YOU GO TO
THE TOILET.
SO KAKA, LEFT-HANDED.
>> Stephen: THERE IT IS.
ONE OF THE THINGS I FOUND OUT ABOUT YOU IS YOU ARE A BIT OF A
BADMINTON FANATIC.
AND I NEVER MET ANYONE WHO DESCRIBES THEMSELVES AS A
BADMINTON FANATIC.
HOW DOES ONE BECOME FANATICAL?
BECAUSE IN THE UNITED STATES, IT'S LIKE OLD PEOPLE DO IT IT AT
RETIREMENT HOMES.
>> NO, IT'S NOT, STEPHEN!
THIS IS THE THING, EVERYBODY THINKS IT'S OLD PEOPLE PLAYING
IN THE GARDEN.
NO, IF YOU WATCH THE REAL BADMINTON PLAYERS, THE ASIAN
BADMINTON PLAYERS, IT'S A SERIOUS, SERIOUS SPORT.
I PLAYED IT IN ENGLAND.
I PLAYED IT AT SCHOOL AND I LOVED IT.
I CONTINUED TO PLAY AFTER SCHOOL AND I HAVE BEEN PLAYING ALL MY
LIFE.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE "THE DAILY SHOW'S" BRITISH
CORRESPONDENT FOR A YEAR.
>> I WAS.
>> Stephen: I'M JUST CURIOUS, DO YOU HAVE ANY OPINION ON
WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN HARRY AND MEGAN AND THE TABLOIDS AND
BUCKINGHAM PALACE?
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON HOW THIS IS PLAYING OUT?
>> DO I HAVE AN OPINION, STEPHEN?
DO YOU HAVE TIME?
>> Stephen: YES.
>> OKAY, LISTEN, BUCKINGHAM PALACE IS RACIST.
THAT'S A FACT.
>> Stephen: I'LL WRITE THAT DOWN.
"BUCKINGHAM PALACE IS RACIST."
>> WE KNOW IT'S RACIST.
LOOK AT THE WAY THE PRESS TALKED ABOUT MEGHAN MARKLE.
SOME OF THE HEADLINES THAT THEY CAME OUT WITH-- ""ALMOST
STRAIGHT OUT OF COMPTON."
OUT OF A BRITISH NEWSPAPER.
I'M NOT LYING.
FROM COTTON PICKING TO THE ROYAL PALACE.
THIS WAS AN ACTUAL HEADLINE.
AND THEY-- OH, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH RACE.
IT'S JUST THEM DISCUSSING THE COLOR OF THE BABY.
IT'S-- I'M GLAD IT'S ALL OUT IN THE OPEN.
I'M GLAD THAT THEY DID THE INTERVIEW.
PEOPLE ARE SAYING IT'S INAPPROPRIATE.
IT'S RIDICULOUS.
IT WAS TIME FOR THAT TO COME OUT IN THE OPEN.
AND NOW THE PALACE HAS TO RECKON WITH THEMSELVES, AS DID PIERS
MORGAN, AND I'M GLAD HE'S GONE.
WHAT A MAN-BABY ( LAUGH )
>> Stephen: I WAS GOING TO ASK ABOUT PIERS MORGAN, BUT YOU BEAT
ME TO IT.
WELL, GINA, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING ON.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
BUY THE BOOK, AND WATCH "BOB HEARTS ABISHOLA" MONDAY NIGHTS,
CBS, 8:30, 7:30 CENTRAL.
>> Stephen: WE WILL.
THE BOOK IS "CACK-HANDED."
AND "BOB HEARTS ABISHOLA," CBS, MONDAY NIGHTS, 8:30.
I HAVE TO WATCH MY BACK HERE.
GINA YASHERE, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> THANK YOU, THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
>> Stephen: THANKS SO MUCH.
♪ ♪ ♪
THATS IT FOR 'A LATE SHOW' EVERYBODY
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE AARON PAUL, AND MUSICAL
GUEST LAKE STREET DIVE.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪