1 00:00:01,501 --> 00:00:03,937 >> CHARLOTTE BENNETT FIRST TOLD HER STORY TO CBS NEWS. 2 00:00:04,003 --> 00:00:05,171 NOW SHE'S TALKING TO INVESTIGATORS. 3 00:00:05,238 --> 00:00:08,942 HER ATTORNEY SAID SHE MET WITH THEM FOR FOUR HOURS AND PROVIDED 4 00:00:09,008 --> 00:00:12,746 MORE THAN 120 PAGES OF CONTEMPORANEOUS RECORDS, AND 5 00:00:12,812 --> 00:00:16,282 ALSO THAT THE GOVERNOR HAD A PREOCCUPATION OF HAND SIZE AND 6 00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:18,918 WHAT THE LARGE SIZE OF HIS HANDS INDICATED TO CHARLOTTE AND OTHER 7 00:00:18,985 --> 00:00:20,987 MEMBERS OF THE STAFF. 8 00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:33,366 >> GOOD NEWS TODAY, OVERALL STATE POSITIVITY RATE, 3.53. 9 00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:38,004 WE TALKED ABOUT IT THANKSGIVING, KWANZAA, HANUKKAH, CHRISTMAS, 10 00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:42,509 MORE SOCIAL GATHERINGS, THE NUMBER WOULD GO UP. 11 00:00:42,575 --> 00:00:46,880 OVERALL, COVID RATES ARE DOWN, AS WE JUST WENT THROUGH. 12 00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:47,947 VACCINE RATES ARE UP. 13 00:00:48,014 --> 00:00:50,817 SO WE CONTINUE THE SMART REOPENING, RIGHT. 14 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,119 THE GRAPHIC THAT NOBODY LIKES. 15 00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:56,890 >> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 16 00:00:56,956 --> 00:01:04,164 TONIGHT: PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES. 17 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:09,002 LUPITA NYONG'O AND MARTIN FREEMAN 18 00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:12,672 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN. 19 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:15,742 AND NOW, LIVE oN TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE 20 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:19,646 BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 21 00:01:19,712 --> 00:01:22,015 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 22 00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:25,018 WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW." 23 00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:26,853 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 24 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:30,290 WE HAVE A HELL OF A SHOW TONIGHT, BLOCKBUSTER GUESTS. 25 00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:33,026 WE HAVE LUPITA NYONG'O, AND MARTIN FREEMAN. 26 00:01:33,092 --> 00:01:36,930 LUPITA IS COMING TO US FROM KENYA, MARTIN FROM LONDON. 27 00:01:36,996 --> 00:01:42,035 WE ARE TRULY INTERNATIONAL AT THIS POINT. 28 00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:43,169 I'M IMPRESSED. 29 00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:44,871 NOBODY ELSE SEEMS TO BE IMPRESSED. 30 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,474 ( LAUGHTER ) EVIE IS HERE. 31 00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:48,908 HELLO, MY DARLING. 32 00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:51,044 ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS IMPRESS YOUR GIRLS. 33 00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:52,111 HEY, FOLKS. 34 00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:53,379 CAN YOU FEEL IT? 35 00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:57,050 AMERICA HAS A BIT OF PEP IN ITS STEP, AND HOPEFULLY SOON, A SHOT 36 00:01:57,116 --> 00:02:00,453 IN ITS ARM, BECAUSE THE VACCINE ROLLOUT IS ON A ROLL. 37 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,257 IN MICHIGAN AND CONNECTICUT, ALL RESIDENTS 16 AND OLDER CAN GET 38 00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:06,593 THE VACCINE STARTING APRIL 5. 39 00:02:06,659 --> 00:02:07,727 GREAT NEWS, CONNECTICUT TEENS! 40 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:13,266 YOU'RE GOING TO PROM! 41 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:16,736 BAD NEWS: MOMS AND DADS WANT TO COME, TOO, BECAUSE WE'RE 42 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,805 SICK OF BEING HOME. 43 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,940 WE WANT TO PUT ON FANCY CLOTHES AND HAVE ENCHANTMENT UNDER THE 44 00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:21,574 SEA! 45 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:22,909 WHO DID YOU GO TO PROM WITH. 46 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,410 >> WE DIDN'T HAVE PROM. 47 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,880 IT WAS AN ALL-GIRLS' SCHOOL. 48 00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:29,315 >> Stephen: SADIE HAWKINS? 49 00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:30,650 >> JUNIOR-SENIOR. 50 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:34,387 >> Stephen: WHO DID YOU GO TO JUNIOR-SENIOR WITH? 51 00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:35,088 YOU DON'T REMEMBER? 52 00:02:35,154 --> 00:02:38,124 IT WAS AL PHILLIPS, WASN'T IT? 53 00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:38,525 >> NO. 54 00:02:38,591 --> 00:02:39,325 IT WAS CHAMP. 55 00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:43,363 >> Stephen: IT WAS CHAMP YARBORO. 56 00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:44,531 HI, CHAMP! 57 00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:45,064 HI, CHAMP! 58 00:02:45,131 --> 00:02:46,099 GOOD TO SEE YOU. 59 00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:48,535 SHE DATED A GUY NAMED CHAMP. 60 00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:50,270 WHAT CHANCE DID I HAVE IN HIGH SCHOOL? 61 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:51,838 SHE'S DATING A GUY NAMED CHAMP. 62 00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:52,772 STOP WHAT? 63 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,874 THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS BAD PUBLICITY. 64 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,310 I'M JUST SAYING THE MAN HAS A NAME THAT SOUNDS LIKE A WINNER. 65 00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:58,511 WHAT WAS THE THEME? 66 00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:01,114 WHAT WAS-- DID YOU HAVE A THEME? 67 00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:04,484 I THINK OUR-- I THINK OURS LITERALLY WAS ENCHANTMENT UNDER 68 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:05,752 THE SEA. 69 00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:08,121 >> THE SENIOR-- THE JUNIOR-- THE GIRLS' JUNIOR CLASS WOULD HOLD A 70 00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:11,724 PARENT FOR THE GIRLS' SENIOR CLASS. 71 00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:15,194 AND OUR THEME WAS "THE SOUND OF MUSIC." 72 00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:16,129 >> Stephen: YOUR THEME WAS THE MUSICAL "SOUND OF MUSIC? 73 00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:17,664 WHO WERE THE NAUGHTIES? 74 00:03:17,730 --> 00:03:18,231 OKAY, LET'S MOVE ON. 75 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:19,065 >> THE BOYS. 76 00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:21,501 >> Stephen: THE BOYS, OKAY. 77 00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:23,169 SOME STATES ARE MOVING EVEN FASTER. 78 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:27,140 TODAY, OHIO ANNOUNCED EVERYONE 4 AND OVER IS ELIGIBLE STARTING 79 00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:28,274 FRIDAY. 80 00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:31,144 THAT'S RIGHT, STARTING THIS WEEKEND, OHIO'S 40-AND-OVER 81 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:35,348 CROWD CAN GET BACK TO THE CLUBS AND START RUBBIN' BUCKEYES. 82 00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:37,917 DESPITE VACCINES BECOMING MORE AVAILABLE, THERE'S STILL ONE 83 00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:43,156 THING HOLDING AMERICANS BACK: AMERICANS. 84 00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:46,159 BECAUSE IN A CBS POLL, A THIRD OF REPUBLICANS SAID THEY WOULD 85 00:03:46,225 --> 00:03:50,163 NOT BE VACCINATED. 86 00:03:50,229 --> 00:03:50,930 NOT EVERYTHING IS POLITICAL! 87 00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:54,167 HOW DO WE CONVINCE YOU TO WANT IT? 88 00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:56,569 WOULD IT FEEL SAFER IF THE VACCINE WAS ADMINISTERED BY AN 89 00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:57,804 AR-15? 90 00:03:57,870 --> 00:04:01,107 MANY OF THE REPUBLICANS POLLED CITED DISTRUST OF GOVERNMENT AS 91 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,142 A REASON TO NOT BE VACCINATED. 92 00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:06,446 THEY WORRY THE VACCINES WERE PRODUCED TOO QUICKLY. 93 00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:07,880 DUH! 94 00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:12,652 IT WAS PRODUCED QUICKLY BECAUSE ALL OF SCIENCE DROPPED 95 00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:14,354 EVERYTHING BECAUSE YOUR PRESIDENT WANTED THEM TO. 96 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:19,859 AND THEY DID EVERYTHING RIGHT WITH CLINICAL TRIALS. 97 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,761 YOU WOULDN'T STAND IN FRONT OF YOUR BURNING HOUSE AND TELL THE 98 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,196 FIRE DEPARTMENT: "HOLD ON, HOLD ON, YOU FELLAS GOT HERE 99 00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:28,201 SUSPICIALLY FAST, AND I READ ON FACEBOOK THAT WATER IS JUST MILK 100 00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:29,068 FROM INVISIBLE COWS, OKAY? 101 00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:31,304 WHAT IF MY HOUSE IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT?" 102 00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:36,209 SOME PEOPLE THINK THE LAST PRESIDENT SHOULD SAY SOMETHING 103 00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:39,045 TO CONVINCE HIS FOLLOWERS, BUT BIDEN ISN'T INTERESTED. 104 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:42,215 >> THE THING THAT HAS MORE IMPACT THAN ANYTHING TRUMP WOULD 105 00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:48,221 SAY TO THE MAGA FOLKS IS WHAT THE LOCAL DOCTOR, WHAT THE LOCAL 106 00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:50,256 PREACHERS, WHAT THE LOCAL PEOPLE IN THE COMMUNITY SAY. 107 00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:51,557 >> Stephen: (AS BIDEN) "YOU GOTTA TALK TO THE PAPERBOY, 108 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:52,358 JACK! 109 00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:53,092 THE MILKMAN! 110 00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:55,228 THE LOCAL WASHERWOMAN! 111 00:04:55,294 --> 00:04:57,096 OL' JASPER WHO DRIVES THE WELLS FARGO WAGON! 112 00:04:57,163 --> 00:04:59,232 AND HIS HORSE BETSY AIN'T NO DUMMY, EITHER! 113 00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:05,738 C'MON!" WANT TO GO TO PROM? 114 00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:06,906 >> YES! 115 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:10,476 >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, I'LL PICK YOU UP IN THE STUDEBAKER. 116 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:11,611 >> BRING THE MUSTANG. 117 00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:13,713 >> Stephen: HE HAS A CORVETTE. 118 00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,248 HE HAS A CORVETTE, MAN. 119 00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:17,417 ONE POTENTIAL SIDE EFFECT OF THE CORONAVIRUS VACCINE IS THAT 120 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,285 PEOPLE ARE EXPOSED TO THE IDEA THAT GOVERNMENT CAN GET THINGS 121 00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:20,520 DONE. 122 00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:26,993 BUT SENATE REPUBLICANS HAVE A WAY TO INOCULATE THEMSELVES FROM 123 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,996 PROGRESS: IT'S CALLED THE FILIBUSTER. 124 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,065 IN ITS CURRENT FORM, IT ALLOWS A MINORITY PARTY TO PUT THE KIBOSH 125 00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:34,567 ON BILLS THAT ARRIVE WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF 60 SENATORS. 126 00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:38,471 BUT IN THE LAST DECADE OR SO, IT HAS GONE FROM BEING A RARELY 127 00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:41,140 USED TOOL TO A CORE ELEMENT OF SENATOR MITCH McCONNELL'S 128 00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:43,009 STRATEGY AS THE REPUBLICAN MINORITY LEADER. 129 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:46,446 NO SURPRISE THERE. 130 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:50,116 REPUBLICANS ARE REKNOWN FOR THEIR RARELY USED TOOLS. 131 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,385 BUT HERE'S THE THING: THE SENATE DECIDES WHAT THE RULES ARE, AND 132 00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:54,454 THE DEMOCRATS CONTROL THE SENATE. 133 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:58,324 AND THEY WOULDN'T NEED 60 VOTES, "TO ROLL BACK THE 134 00:05:58,391 --> 00:05:59,192 FILIBUSTER. 135 00:05:59,258 --> 00:06:01,127 DEMOCRATS WOULD NEED A SIMPLE MAJORITY." 136 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,261 THAT'S RIGHT, YOU CAN'T FILIBUSTER CHANGING THE 137 00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:04,697 FILIBUSTER RULES! 138 00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:06,499 IT'S THE UPPER CHAMBER'S VERSION OF "YOU CAN'T WISH FOR INFINITE 139 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:07,767 WISHES." 140 00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:10,536 WHICH YOU ALSO CAN'T DO BECAUSE MITCH McCONNELL WOULD FILIBUSTER 141 00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:11,771 IT. 142 00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:17,310 DEMOCRATS HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING ABOUT THE FILIBUSTER YET, BUT 143 00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:21,314 THERE ARE MURMURS AND RUMORS, WHICH IS ENOUGH TO UPSET MITCH 144 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:24,317 McCONNELL, WHO ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND FROM HIS SEAT, TO 145 00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:28,387 THREATEN TO GROUND THE SENATE TO A HALT WITH PROCEDURAL 146 00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:29,388 SHENANIGANS. 147 00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:33,326 >> LET ME SAY THIS VERY CLEARLY FOR ALL 99 OF MY 148 00:06:33,392 --> 00:06:34,527 COLLEAGUES. 149 00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:42,335 NOBODY SERVING IN THIS CHAMBER CAN EVEN BEGIN, CAN EVEN BEGIN 150 00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:48,341 TO IMAGINE WHAT A COMPLETELY SCORCHED-EARTH SENATE WOULD 151 00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:49,075 LOOK LIKE. 152 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,344 >> Stephen: I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES. 153 00:06:51,410 --> 00:06:55,348 THE LAST TIME THE UNITED STATES USED "SCORCHED EARTH," THE UNION 154 00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:55,915 BEAT YOUR GUYS. 155 00:06:55,982 --> 00:06:59,118 HE McCONNELLED ON. 156 00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:02,588 >> THIS CHAOS WOULD NOT OPEN UP AN EXPRESS LANE TO LIBERAL 157 00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:03,856 CHANGE. 158 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:06,559 IT WOULD NOT OPEN UP AN EXPRESS LANE FOR THE BIDEN PRESIDENCY TO 159 00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:08,861 SPEED INTO THE HISTORY BOOKS. 160 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:15,268 THE SENATE WOULD BE MORE LIKE A 100-CAR PILEUP-- NOTHING MOVING. 161 00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:21,541 >> Stephen: IT'S ALREADY HAPPENING, YOU IDIOT! 162 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:22,775 AND THE FILIBUSTER IS WHY IT'S HAPPENING! 163 00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:32,351 IF YOU THREATEN TO BLOW MY HEAD OFF WITH A SHOTGUN, AND I SAY 164 00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:33,953 "LET'S TAKE AWAY THAT IDIOT'S SHOTGUN," IT'S REALLY NOT MUCH 165 00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:35,388 OF A THREAT TO SAY, "IF YOU DO THIS, I'LL SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE 166 00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:38,791 FIVE TIMES WITH A CROSSBOW!" YOU'RE VERY GENEROUS. 167 00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:41,360 SPEAKING OF MANIACS ON CAPITOL HILL, THERE'S BEEN SOME 168 00:07:41,427 --> 00:07:43,429 IMPORTANT ARRESTS OF TRAITOROUS MALCONTENTS WHO ATTACKED THE 169 00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:46,132 LEGISLATURE ON JANUARY 6, AND I'LL GIVE YOU THE DEETS IN 170 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,301 TONIGHT'S "SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP ROUNDUP." 171 00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:57,476 >> THEY'RE UTTERLY DESPICABLE COWARDS! 172 00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:59,345 >> Stephen: FIRST UP ON THE ROUND-UP, THE F.B.I. ARRESTED A 173 00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:03,082 SECURITY CONTRACTOR AT A NAVAL BASE WHO "WAS KNOWN TO MOST OF 174 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,951 HIS CO-WORKERS AS A WHITE SUPREMACIST AND NAZI 175 00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:07,987 SYMPATHIZER." 176 00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:10,790 NOW HOLD ON ONE MINUTE. 177 00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:11,824 CALLING SOMEONE A NAZI SYMPATHIZER IS A PRETTY BIG 178 00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:13,960 ACCUSATION. 179 00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:18,531 HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT HE-- OOOH-KAY. 180 00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:22,335 ALL RIGHT LITTLE ON THE NOSE, BUDDY, 181 00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:25,872 ALSO A LITTLE UNDER THE NOSE. 182 00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:28,007 THE CHIP OFF THE OLD REICH IS NAMED TIMOTHY HALE-CUSANELLI, 183 00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:31,978 KNOWN FROM NOW ON AS TIMOTHY HEIL-MUSSOLINI. 184 00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:37,283 AND EVER SINCE THE RIOT, FEDERAL AUTHORITIES HAVE BEEN ON THE 185 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,684 HUNT FOR THE TWO PEOPLE WHO SPRAYED CHEMICAL IRRITANTS AT 186 00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:40,519 POLICE, WHICH MAY HAVE LED TO THE TRAGIC DEATH OF OFFICER 187 00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:41,787 BRIAN SICKNICK. 188 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,689 WELL, SUNDAY, THE F.B.I. 189 00:08:43,756 --> 00:08:47,193 ARRESTED TWO MEN: WEST VIRGINIA RESIDENT AND GUY WHO 190 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:53,099 ALPHABETIZED HIS VHS PORN COLLECTION, GEORGE TANIOS; AND 191 00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:54,800 INTERN AT THE STRIP CLUB JULIAN KHATER. 192 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,436 KHATER AND TANIOS ARE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS WHO GREW UP IN NEW 193 00:08:57,503 --> 00:09:01,707 JERSEY, AND THEY THOUGHTFULLY LEFT A LOT OF EVIDENCE. 194 00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,976 FOR THE COPS. 195 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:08,581 FOR INSTANCE, TANIOS LIVES IN MORGANTOWN, WEST VIRGINIA, WHERE 196 00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:10,449 HE'S THE OWNER OF "SANDWICH UNIVERSITY"-- KNOWN FOR ITS 197 00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:12,485 FIERCE RIVALRY WITH SLOPPY JOE POLYTECH. 198 00:09:12,551 --> 00:09:15,488 IN FACT, ON SOCIAL MEDIA, TANIOS CALLS HIMSELF THE "SANDWICH 199 00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:17,490 NAZI." 200 00:09:17,556 --> 00:09:19,191 OKAY, AT THIS POINT, I THINK YOU CAN DROP THE "SANDWICH." 201 00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:24,497 TANIOS' RESTAURANT BILLS ITSELF THE KING OF THE FAT SANDWICH, 202 00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:27,767 BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE THIS ONE, THE FAT MOUNTAINEER, WHICH 203 00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:31,737 INCLUDES CHEESESTEAK, BURGER, MOZZARELLA STICKS, CHICKEN 204 00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:33,773 TENDER, JALAPENO POPPER, BACON, AND EGG. 205 00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:36,409 HE'S NOT KIDDING ABOUT THE NAZI PART. 206 00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:38,177 WITH THAT MUCH CHOLESTEROL, IT'S A HOAGIE THAT SHOULD BE 207 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:42,615 PROSECUTED AT THE HAGUE-Y. 208 00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:45,785 NOW, THIS IS IMPORTANT INFORMATION, BECAUSE DURING THE 209 00:09:45,851 --> 00:09:48,521 RIOT, TANIOS WAS WEARING A SWEATSHIRT WITH "SANDWICH 210 00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:50,189 UNIVERSITY" ON IT. 211 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:54,994 DON'T YOU HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE WALKING AROUND BRAGGING ABOUT 212 00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:56,896 THEIR FANCY LUNCH ALMA MATTER WHEN THE REST OF US HAD TO EAT 213 00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:59,999 OUR SAFETY SANDWICH? 214 00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:03,769 TANIOS' BUDDY KHATER IS ALSO A RESTAURANTEUR. 215 00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:07,740 HE OWNS A SMOOTHIE BOWL RESTAURANT IN STATE COLLEGE, 216 00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:10,276 PENNSYLVANIA, CALLED "FRUTTA BOWLS." 217 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:13,212 OKAY, TWO THINGS: FIRST, HOW DID THESE GUYS BECOME FRIENDS? 218 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,916 THE SMOOTHIE IS THE NATURAL ENEMY OF THE FAT SANDWICH. 219 00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:22,388 TWO: YOU CANT PUT A SMOOTHIE IN A BOWL, OKAY? 220 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,491 THE MOMENT IT HITS THE BOWL, IT'S FRUIT SOUP. 221 00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:26,559 AND DON'T TELL ME THAT TOMATOES ARE FRUIT. 222 00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:38,604 I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL, WITH THESE TWO GUYS. 223 00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:39,238 COME ON, WHAT'S A SMOOTHIE BOWL? 224 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,306 >> I DON'T KNOW. 225 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:45,077 >> Stephen: AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW, IT DOESN'T EXIST. 226 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,278 KHATER'S LOOKING AT A HARSH PUNISHMENT, BECAUSE SINCE HE'S 227 00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:47,480 NOT A U.S. CITIZEN, A GUILTY VERDICT WOULD LIKELY RESULT IN 228 00:10:47,546 --> 00:10:48,347 HIS DEPORTATION. 229 00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:49,382 THAT MUST GIVE HIM SOME MIXED EMOTIONS. 230 00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:50,216 ( AS KHATER ) "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ABOUT TO 231 00:10:50,282 --> 00:10:51,217 GET DEPORTED. 232 00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:54,620 ON THE OTHER HAND, I GOT AN IMMIGRANT DEPORTED! 233 00:10:54,687 --> 00:10:55,654 WOO!" THE RIOTERS AREN'T THE ONLY ONES 234 00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:56,922 UNDER SCRUTINY. 235 00:10:56,989 --> 00:11:00,226 THE CAPITOL POLICE JUST SUSPENDED AN OFFICER WHO HAD 236 00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:03,429 AN ANTI-SEMITIC DOCUMENT IN PLAIN SIGHT AT A CAPITOL POLICE 237 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:03,996 CHECKPOINT. 238 00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:12,338 THAT IS SHOCKING. 239 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:13,506 ANTI-SEMITISM HAS NO PLACE IN CONGRESS, OUTSIDE MARJORIE 240 00:11:13,572 --> 00:11:14,673 TAYLOR GREENE DEMANDING THAT NASA BAPTIZE THE JEWISH SPACE 241 00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:18,644 LASER. 242 00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:20,813 THE QUESTIONABLE DOCUMENT IN QUESTION IS THE PROTOCOLS OF THE 243 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,582 MEETINGS OF THE LEARNED ELDERS THAT IS HORRIFYING. 244 00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:24,984 OF ZION, WHICH THE ANTI-DEFAMATION LEAGUE CALLS 245 00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:26,118 "A CLASSIC IN PARANOID, RACIST LITERATURE." 246 00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:29,221 THAT'S ACTUALLY ONE OF THE BLURBS ON THE BACK, ALONG WITH 247 00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:33,893 "A GREAT BEACH READ"-- MEL GIBSON. 248 00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:38,030 FALLOUT FROM THE RIOT HAS ALSO HURT WISCONSIN SENATOR AND DRUNK 249 00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:42,701 UNCLE INSISTING HE WONT DROP THE ( LAUGHTER ) 250 00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:43,769 BABY LIKE LAST TIME, RON JOHNSON. 251 00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:45,104 ON THURSDAY, JOHNSON WENT ON TALK RADIO TO SAY "RIOT 252 00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:46,305 SCHMIOT." 253 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:50,876 >> ON JANUARY 6, I NEVER FELT THREATENED, BECAUSE I DIDN'T. 254 00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:58,150 AND MAINLY BECAUSE I KNEW THAT EVEN THOUGH THOSE THOUSANDS OF 255 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,352 PEOPLE WHO WERE MARCHING ON THE CAPITOL WERE TRYING TO PRESSURE 256 00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:02,588 PEOPLE LIKE ME TO VOTE THE WAY THEY WANTED ME TO VOTE, I KNEW 257 00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,657 THOSE ARE PEOPLE THAT LOVE THIS COUNTRY, THAT TRULY RESPECT LAW 258 00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:07,660 ENFORCEMENT, WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO BREAK A LAW, AND SO 259 00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:08,661 I WASN'T CONCERNED. 260 00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:10,863 >> Stephen: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 261 00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:14,934 THEY INJURED OVER 100 POLICEMEN-- BLINDING, CRUSHING, 262 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,169 KILLING. 263 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:21,907 SO I GUESS YOU'RE SAYING THEY USED THAT FLAGPOLE TO 264 00:12:21,974 --> 00:12:23,075 INFLICT BLUNT-FORCE RESPECT? 265 00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:24,510 WELL, SENATOR, YOU SEEM TO HAVE A LOT IN COMMON WITH THEM, 266 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,879 BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES SMEARING THEIR CRAP ALL 267 00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:27,780 OVER CAPITOL HILL. 268 00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:33,285 DESPITE KNOWING BETTER, JOHNSON CONTINUED: 269 00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:35,621 >> NOW, HAD THE TABLES BEEN TURNED-- JOE, THIS CAN GET ME IN 270 00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:38,324 TROUBLE-- HAD THE TABLES BEEN TURNED AND PRESIDENT TRUMP WON 271 00:12:38,390 --> 00:12:42,461 THE ELECTION, AND THOSE WERE TENS OF THOUSANDS OF BLACK LIVES 272 00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:43,596 MATTER AND ANTIFA PROTESTERS, I MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LITTLE 273 00:12:43,662 --> 00:12:47,266 CONCERNED. 274 00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:49,368 >> Stephen: HOLY STUPID. 275 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:50,936 THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL YOU, BUT YOU FEEL SAFE BECAUSE THEY'RE 276 00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:52,238 YOUR RACE? 277 00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:55,407 IT REMINDS ME OF THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF NATHAN HALE: "I REGRET 278 00:12:55,474 --> 00:12:58,277 I HAVE BUT ONE LIFE TO GIVE FOR MY COUNTRY, BUT ON THE BRIGHT 279 00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:02,014 SIDE, NONE OF THE PEOPLE HANGING ME ARE IRISH." 280 00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:04,717 ( LAUGHTER ) A LOT OF PEOPLE CALLED JOHNSON'S 281 00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:06,886 RACIST COMMENTS RACIST, SO YESTERDAY, HE WENT ON LOCAL 282 00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:10,656 WISCONSIN RADIO WITH A VERY STRANGE DEFENSE FOR HIS ATTACK 283 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:13,359 ON BLACK LIVES MATTER. 284 00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:17,296 >> REMEMBER, THOSE LEFTIST, LEFTIST ACTIVISTS, THOSE 285 00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:20,166 PROTESTERS-- SOME OF THEM TURNED VIOLENT, TURNED INTO RIOTS-- A 286 00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:21,800 LOT OF THEM ARE WHITE. 287 00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:24,136 SO THERE'S NO RACISM INVOLVED IN THIS AT ALL. 288 00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:27,439 >> Stephen: NOTHING SAYS "NOT A RACIST" MORE THAN LOOKING AT A 289 00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:30,976 BLACK LIVES MATTER PROTEST AND COUNTING ALL THE WHITE PEOPLE. 290 00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:33,946 "11, 12, 13! 291 00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:34,847 WHEW! 292 00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:38,517 I'M NOT A RACIST!" THEN JOHNSON SAID HE WAS 293 00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:40,152 SURPRISED BY THE REACTION TO HIS COMMENTS. 294 00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:41,086 >> IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH RACE. 295 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,122 IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH RIOTS. 296 00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:46,125 I COMPLETELY DID NOT ANTICIPATE THAT ANYBODY COULD INTERPRET 297 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:47,092 WHAT I SAID AS RACIST. 298 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:49,895 >> Stephen: YES, WHO COULD HAVE ANTICIPATED? 299 00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:51,397 MAYBE THIS GUY? 300 00:13:51,463 --> 00:13:53,399 >> NOW, HAD THE TABLES BEEN TURNED-- JOE, THIS CAN GET ME IN 301 00:13:53,465 --> 00:13:54,567 TROUBLE. 302 00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:59,138 >> Stephen: YOU DON'T GET ANY CREDIT FOR YOUR BAD BEHAVIOR 303 00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:00,272 JUST BECAUSE YOU PREDICTED IT. 304 00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:01,307 ( AS BANK ROBBER ) "I KNOW THIS IS GOING TO GET ME 305 00:14:01,373 --> 00:14:02,908 IN TROUBLE, BUT EVERYBODY GET DOWN ON THE GROUND! 306 00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:04,944 THIS IS A ROBBERY! 307 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,145 NOW, PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAGS BEFORE THE COPS COME TO CANCEL 308 00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:10,282 ME!" ( LAUGHTER ) 309 00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:13,152 IT'S ALSO BEEN A BAD TIME FOR NEW YORK GOVERNOR AND MIDDLE 310 00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:17,590 SCHOOL COACH EXPLAINING WHY YOU'RE LUCKY HE'S DATING YOUR 311 00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:18,757 MOM, ANDREW CUOMO. 312 00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:20,559 LAST WEEK, ANOTHER WOMAN CAME FORWARD WITH ALLEGATIONS OF 313 00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:22,428 SEXUAL HARASSMENT AGAINST THE GOVERNOR, MAKING HER THE SIXTH 314 00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:23,495 TO DO SO. 315 00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:25,831 AND THEN OVER THE WEEKEND, THERE WAS A SEVENTH WOMAN. 316 00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:30,302 TWO MORE, AND HE WINS A FREE RONAN FARROW PROFILE! 317 00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:33,172 THEN, YESTERDAY, FORMER CUOMO AIDE CHARLOTTE BENNETT REVEALED 318 00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:37,943 TO STATE INVESTIGATORS THAT, WHEN SHE WORKED WITH THE 319 00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:40,212 GOVERNOR, HE HAD A PREOCCUPATION WITH HIS HAND SIZE AND WHAT 320 00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:42,581 THE LARGE SIZE OF HIS HANDS INDICATED. 321 00:14:42,648 --> 00:14:43,716 HUH. 322 00:14:43,782 --> 00:14:46,685 FOR THE ANSWER, WE GO TO "THE LATE SHOW'S" HAND EXPERT. 323 00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:49,655 WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN SOMEONE TALKS ABOUT THEIR HAND SIZE? 324 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:54,326 >> TINY PENIS! 325 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,961 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: THANK YOU. 326 00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:58,764 WHAT'S HIS NAME? 327 00:14:58,831 --> 00:14:59,098 HANDY? 328 00:14:59,164 --> 00:15:00,432 >> LEFTY. 329 00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:04,470 >> Stephen: LEFTY. 330 00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:06,071 HE IS A HELPER. 331 00:15:06,138 --> 00:15:12,611 ( LAUGHTER ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 332 00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:13,612 TONIGHT. 333 00:15:13,679 --> 00:15:14,813 MY GUESTS ARE LUPITA NYONG'O AND MARTIN FREEMAN. 334 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,849 BUT WHEN WE RETURN, "MEANWHILE"! 335 00:15:16,915 --> 00:15:17,216 STICK AROUND. 336 00:15:43,942 --> 00:15:46,879 ♪ ♪ ♪ HEY, WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 337 00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:48,113 Y'KNOW, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME SOURCING THE FINEST, MOST 338 00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:54,887 TOPICAL SLABS OF NEWS MARBLE, CAREFULLY CHISELING OUT A WIDE, 339 00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:58,891 DEEP BASIN, AND SCULPTING THE MOST EXPRESSIVE NEOCLASSICAL 340 00:15:58,957 --> 00:16:02,861 JOKE FIGURES, THEN ENGINEERING AN AQUEDUCT CONNECTING IT TO 341 00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:04,396 "CURRENT EVENTS MOUNTAIN," THEREBY DIVERTING ITS 342 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,899 CRYSTALLINE STORY WATERS INTO THE BREATHTAKING ITALIAN PIAZZA 343 00:16:06,965 --> 00:16:09,902 FOUNTAIN THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE. 344 00:16:09,968 --> 00:16:12,905 BUT SOMETIMES, JUST SOMETIMES, FOLKS, I HIDE MY MEDS UNDER MY 345 00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:15,274 TONGUE SO THE ASYLUM NIGHT NURSE CAN'T SEE ME NOT SWALLOW THEM, 346 00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:18,911 THEN SLIP INTO THE NIGHT, BREAK INTO A MECHANIC'S SHOP TO 347 00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:21,847 FASHION A SNORKEL OUT OF A RUSTY EXHAUST PIPE AND SOME ARM 348 00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:25,918 FLOATIES OUT OF OLD INNER TUBES, THEN STEAL A RECYCLING BIN FROM 349 00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:29,922 BEHIND A MIDDLE SCHOOL AND FILL IT WITH MOONSHINE AND REGRET 350 00:16:29,988 --> 00:16:32,925 BEFORE I SUBMERGE US ALL IN THE PAROLE-VIOLATING MAKESHIFT 351 00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:37,062 KIDDIE POOL OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT: 352 00:16:37,129 --> 00:16:40,999 >> QUARANTINE-WHILE! 353 00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:44,203 >> Stephen: QUARANTINE-WHILE, BIG NEWS FOR ALL YOU ROLE 354 00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:47,339 PLAYERS OUT THERE: THESE L.E.D. 355 00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:49,608 DICE COULD ELECTRIFY YOUR NEXT DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS CAMPAIGN." 356 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:50,242 HERE'S A LOOK AT THEM IN ACTION. 357 00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:53,345 WOAH! 358 00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:54,947 PLUS FIVE SPARKLE! 359 00:16:55,013 --> 00:16:58,717 OF COURSE, THE LIGHTS ARE A LITTLE LESS BRIGHT WHEN YOU'VE 360 00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:04,790 BEEN FORCED TO SWALLOW THEM AND THEN STUFFED IN A LOCKER. 361 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,326 ( LAUGHTER ) THE DICE DRAW POWER WIRELESSLY 362 00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:10,529 FROM A CASE, AND "CAN GO FOR AROUND FIVE HOURS ON A SINGLE 363 00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:13,499 CHARGE, OR MORE IF YOU'RE WILLING TO LIVE WITHOUT THE 364 00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:15,968 LIGHTING." 365 00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:18,270 AND LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT: WHEN THEY'RE CHARGED, THESE DICE 366 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:22,975 LIGHT UP, BUT IF YOU'RE WILLING TO NOT HAVE THEM LIGHT UP, 367 00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:26,979 THEY'RE WILLING TO STILL BE DICE. 368 00:17:27,045 --> 00:17:28,647 IN A RELATED STORY, IF I DON'T CHARGE MY PHONE, IT'S STILL 369 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:32,985 WILLING TO BE SOMETHING THAT I CAN SHATTER. 370 00:17:33,051 --> 00:17:34,586 OF COURSE, YOU DON'T GET PERFORMANCE LIKE THAT WITHOUT 371 00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:35,788 PAYING FOR IT. 372 00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:39,425 ONE DIE, INCLUDING CHARGER, STARTS AT $39, OR YOU CAN GET A 373 00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:43,996 SET OF SEVEN DICE AND A CHARGING CASE FOR $199. 374 00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:47,299 BUT THE LOOK ON YOUR SPOUSE'S FACE WHEN YOU TELL THEM YOU 375 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:51,003 DROPPED A WEEK'S GROCERY BUDGET ON LIGHT DICE THAT MAY OR MAY 376 00:17:51,069 --> 00:17:51,970 NOT LIGHT UP? 377 00:17:52,037 --> 00:17:54,139 PRICELESS. 378 00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:56,542 QUARANTINE-WHILE, THERE'S A NEW HOTEL IN CHINA RECEIVING 379 00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:59,077 BACKLASH BECAUSE IT'S BUILT AROUND A CENTRAL POLAR BEAR 380 00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:01,814 ENCLOSURE FOR THE NON-STOP VIEWING PLEASURE OF ITS GUESTS. 381 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:05,751 IT'S THE PERFECT LODGING FOR ANYONE WHO'S THOUGHT, "I LIKE 382 00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:09,121 THE ZOO, BUT I WISH I COULD SEE THE ANIMALS SAD AT NIGHT." 383 00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:13,091 QUARANTINE-WHILE, SCIENTISTS HAVE RECENTLY CONFIRMED THAT THE 384 00:18:13,158 --> 00:18:19,031 EARTH HAS A HIDDEN LAYER, AND NO ONE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT IT IS. 385 00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:24,036 PLEASE BE NOUGAT, PLEASE BE NOUGAT, PLEASE BE NOUGAT. 386 00:18:24,102 --> 00:18:25,871 ( LAUGHTER ) SO FAR, SOUNDWAVE EXPERIMENTS 387 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,606 CAN'T TELL US MUCH ABOUT ITS MAKE-UP. 388 00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:31,009 THE STUDY REVEALS THERE IS MORE COMPLEXITY TO THE INNER CORE 389 00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:34,012 THAN PREVIOUSLY APPRECIATED, AND EARTH MIGHT HAVE MORE LAYERS 390 00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:35,047 THAN SCIENTISTS THOUGHT. 391 00:18:35,113 --> 00:18:36,982 YOU HEAR THAT? 392 00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:46,158 THE EARTH IS MORE COMPLEX IN ITS CORE THAN WE APPRECIATED. 393 00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:48,060 WE SEE IT AS JUST THIS BIG SPINNING ROCK, BUT MAYBE IT'S 394 00:18:48,126 --> 00:18:48,694 NOT SPINNING. 395 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:49,795 MAYBE IT'S DANCING. 396 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:51,063 SO DON'T BE SURPRISED IF THE EARTH GETS FED UP AND GOES 397 00:18:51,129 --> 00:18:52,464 BACKPACKING THROUGH ANDROMEDA, THEN COMES BACK AND WANTS TO GO 398 00:18:52,531 --> 00:19:00,639 TO CLOWN SCHOOL, DAD! 399 00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:10,682 QAWRN WHILE, IN DEEP SOUTH YOGA HAPPENINGS, OF 400 00:19:10,749 --> 00:19:11,617 OVERTURN ITS 28-YEAR BAN ON YOGA IN SCHOOLS. 401 00:19:11,683 --> 00:19:12,751 GREAT NEWS FOR FITNESS-CONSCIOUS ALABAMANS. 402 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,186 BAD NEWS FOR ILLEGAL YOGA DEALERS. 403 00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:16,021 ( AS DRUG DEALER ) "PSST, HEY KID. 404 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,055 YOU WANNA ACTIVATE YOUR CHAKRAS? 405 00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:18,257 I GOT 'EM ALL. 406 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,091 FIFTY BUCKS, I'LL GIVE YOU A WARRIOR TWO THAT'LL UNLOCK YOUR 407 00:19:19,157 --> 00:19:21,660 PRANA LIKE CRAZY." 408 00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:24,997 APPARENTLY, IN 1993, THE ALABAMA BOARD OF EDUCATION BANNED YOGA 409 00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:28,033 BECAUSE OF "OPPOSITION BY CONSERVATIVE GROUPS OVER ITS 410 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,268 HINDU ROOTS." 411 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:31,703 GOT TO BE TOUGH TO TEACH AT A SCHOOL THAT BANS ANYTHING HINDU, 412 00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:34,339 SINCE THE HINDUS INVENTED NUMBERS. 413 00:19:34,406 --> 00:19:42,781 ( AS TEACHER ) "OKAY, SO IF A TRAIN LEAVES 414 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,883 A STATION GOING... 415 00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:51,590 A LOT OF MILES PER HOUR, AND ANOTHER TRAIN LEAVES A STATION 416 00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:53,992 GOING... 417 00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:55,160 A LITTLE MILES PER HOUR... 418 00:19:55,227 --> 00:19:57,829 HOW CLOSE WILL THE SUN BE TO THE MOUNTAIN WHEN THEY MEET?" 419 00:19:57,896 --> 00:20:01,433 QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN WALRUS TOURISM NEWS, A WALRUS WAS 420 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,101 SPOTTED FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IN IRELAND. 421 00:20:03,168 --> 00:20:06,505 IT IS BELIEVED THE ARCTIC CREATURE COULD HAVE FALLEN 422 00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:09,107 ASLEEP ON AN ICEBERG BEFORE BEING CARRIED ACROSS THE 423 00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:11,310 ATLANTIC OCEAN. 424 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:15,581 WAIT, ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS WALRUS IN IRELAND 425 00:20:15,647 --> 00:20:18,383 PASSED OUT AND WOKE UP SOMEWHERE IT DOESN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE? 426 00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:20,619 HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! 427 00:20:20,686 --> 00:20:22,688 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH LUPITA NYONG'O. 428 00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:40,172 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK, 429 00:20:40,238 --> 00:20:41,239 EVERYBODY. 430 00:20:41,306 --> 00:20:43,008 JOINING ME NOW IS THE ACADEMY-AWARD WINNING ACTRESS 431 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:46,178 YOU KNOW BEST FROM "12 YEARS A SLAVE," "US," AND "BLACK 432 00:20:46,244 --> 00:20:47,779 PANTHER." 433 00:20:47,846 --> 00:20:50,182 SHE CURRENTLY STARS AS JULIETA IN THE PUBLIC THEATER'S 434 00:20:50,248 --> 00:20:54,186 BILINGUAL RADIO PLAY, "ROMEO Y JULIETA." 435 00:20:54,252 --> 00:20:57,623 PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," LUPITA NYONG'O! 436 00:20:57,689 --> 00:20:58,657 LUPITA THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. 437 00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:03,195 >> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME IN STRANGE TIMES. 438 00:21:03,261 --> 00:21:04,596 >> Stephen: IT IS STRANGE TIMES. 439 00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:09,201 SO HAPPY TO FIND OUT WE'RE TALKING TO YOU FROM KENYA RIGHT 440 00:21:09,267 --> 00:21:11,203 NOW, TRUE? 441 00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:12,971 >> YES, YES, I AM HOME. 442 00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:14,973 >> Stephen: WOW, THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR STAYING UP LATE. 443 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,676 I KNOW IT MUST BE THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT FOR YOU WHERE YOU ARE. 444 00:21:17,743 --> 00:21:22,214 EVEN THOUGH WE'RE ONLY DOING THIS AT 5:30, OR SOMETHING, 445 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,448 WHERE WE ARE. 446 00:21:23,515 --> 00:21:26,351 AND THIS IS OUR FIRST ZOOM HAD OF IN FROM AFRICA, SO THANK YOU 447 00:21:26,418 --> 00:21:29,254 FOR CHRISTENING A WHOLE NEW CONTINENT FOR US. 448 00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:33,392 >> I FEEL GOOD ABOUT THAT. 449 00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,395 >> Stephen: IN KENYA, THERE'S NO CHANCE ANYBODY THERE KNOWS MY 450 00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:37,195 SHOW, IS THERE? 451 00:21:37,262 --> 00:21:38,163 >> OH, THEY DO. 452 00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:40,298 >> Stephen: NO, REALLY? 453 00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:40,866 >> YES. 454 00:21:40,932 --> 00:21:42,601 >> Stephen: REALLY? 455 00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:45,070 YOU DON'T HAVE TO JUST SAY THAT ( LAUGHS ) 456 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:47,706 >> YOU'RE A GLOBAL ICON. 457 00:21:47,773 --> 00:21:48,240 ( LAUGHTER ). 458 00:21:48,306 --> 00:21:49,141 >> Stephen: THANK YOU. 459 00:21:49,207 --> 00:21:51,443 YOU'RE MY FAVORITE GUEST OF THE NIGHT. 460 00:21:51,510 --> 00:21:55,580 MARTIN FREEMAN'S GOT TO GO OVER A HIGH BAR NOW. 461 00:21:55,647 --> 00:22:02,754 WE LOVE YOUR FILMS, BUT YOU ACTUALLY STARTED ON THE LIVE ON 462 00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:05,524 THE STAGE, AS A LOT OF ACTORS DO. 463 00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:10,429 I UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU WERE 14 YOU HAD A CHANCE TO PLAY 464 00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:11,096 JULIETTE. 465 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,164 WHAT WAS THAT EXPERIENCE LIKE? 466 00:22:12,230 --> 00:22:15,067 HOW DID YOU GET THAT PART ON YOUR FIRST PROFESSIONAL 467 00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:16,268 PRODUCTION? 468 00:22:16,334 --> 00:22:26,011 >> YEAH, SO I MEAN, AT THAT POINT, I HAD DONE PASSES BY AND 469 00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:30,482 SCHOOL PLAYS AND MY AUNT CONVINCED ME TO AUDITION FOR THE 470 00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:33,952 ONLY PROFESSIONAL THEATER AT THE TIME, PHOENIX PLAYERS. 471 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,988 AND I AUDITIONED FOR THE MUSICAL PRODUCTION OF "CINDERELLA." 472 00:22:37,055 --> 00:22:38,256 I DID NOT GET THE PART. 473 00:22:38,323 --> 00:22:41,593 I DID NOT GET ANY PART IN THAT, BECAUSE THE DIRECTOR FELT I WAS 474 00:22:41,660 --> 00:22:42,728 TOO YOUNG. 475 00:22:42,794 --> 00:22:45,464 A FEW MONTHS LATER I GOT A LETTER SAYING HE WANTED TO SEE 476 00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:52,170 ME, AND I WENT IN WITH MY MOM, AND HE OFFERED ME JULIETTE IN 477 00:22:52,237 --> 00:22:53,305 "ROMEO AND JULIETTE." 478 00:22:53,371 --> 00:22:57,242 AND I BROKE DOWN AND CRIED BECAUSE I GREW UP LISTENING TO 479 00:22:57,309 --> 00:22:59,044 MY DAD RECITE SHAKESPEARE TO ME. 480 00:22:59,111 --> 00:23:01,213 SO IT WAS LIKE A LANGUAGE OF LOVE. 481 00:23:01,279 --> 00:23:05,617 I'VE ALWAYS FELT VERY CONNECTED TO SHAKESPEARE, AND HERE I WAS 482 00:23:05,684 --> 00:23:10,222 GOING TO BE PLAYING THE LEAD IN THE MOST FAMOUS LOVE STORY. 483 00:23:10,288 --> 00:23:11,289 I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. 484 00:23:11,356 --> 00:23:13,225 >> Stephen: YOU KINDLY SENT US THIS PHOTO RIGHT HERE. 485 00:23:13,291 --> 00:23:16,328 CAN YOU TELL-- IF YOU CAN SEE THIS RIGHT HERE-- TELL US WHAT 486 00:23:16,394 --> 00:23:18,330 THE PEOPLE AT HOME ARE SEEING RIGHT NOW. 487 00:23:18,396 --> 00:23:19,331 WHO IS THAT? 488 00:23:19,397 --> 00:23:21,333 IS THAT PLAYING LADY CAPOUELLETTE OR IS THAT LADY 489 00:23:21,399 --> 00:23:22,467 PLAYING THE NURSE? 490 00:23:22,534 --> 00:23:24,302 >> THAT LADY IS PLAYING THE NURSE, AND THAT'S THE SCENE 491 00:23:24,369 --> 00:23:31,343 WHERE I AM ASKING HER TO TELL ME WHAT SHE'S FOUND OUT FROM ROMEO. 492 00:23:31,409 --> 00:23:35,647 >> Stephen: WHAT DID 14-YEAR-OLD YOU THINK OF THIS 493 00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:37,415 TRAGIC ROMANCE? 494 00:23:37,482 --> 00:23:45,290 >> WELL, I MEAN, IT WAS-- LEONARDO DICAPRIO HAD JUST COME 495 00:23:45,357 --> 00:23:49,561 OUT IN THE FILM "ROMEO AND JULIETTE." 496 00:23:49,628 --> 00:23:54,166 >> Stephen: WITH CLAIRE DANS. 497 00:23:54,232 --> 00:23:57,302 >> YES, AND I WAS MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIM. 498 00:23:57,369 --> 00:24:02,073 FOR ME, THIS WAS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR ME TO BE THAT MUCH CLOSER TO 499 00:24:02,140 --> 00:24:03,308 LEONARDO DICAPRIO. 500 00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:06,278 AT THAT TIME, LOVE WAS-- THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT LOVE WAS, THIS 501 00:24:06,344 --> 00:24:09,815 THING WHERE A MAN COMES AND CLAIMS YOU AND TAKES YOU AWAY, 502 00:24:09,881 --> 00:24:11,082 KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR. 503 00:24:11,149 --> 00:24:15,020 YOU DIE FOR EACH OTHER. 504 00:24:15,086 --> 00:24:15,754 YEAH. 505 00:24:15,821 --> 00:24:17,789 NOW I SEE A VERY DIFFERENT THING. 506 00:24:17,856 --> 00:24:20,992 >> Stephen: NOW, THIS IS-- THIS IS A FASCINATING PROJECT. 507 00:24:21,059 --> 00:24:26,064 YOU'RE TAKING ON JULIETTE AGAIN AS PART OF THIS BILINGUAL RADIO 508 00:24:26,131 --> 00:24:27,899 PLAY BEING PRODUCED BY THE PUBLIC. 509 00:24:27,966 --> 00:24:31,403 AND DIRECTED BY YOUR FRIEND SAHEEM ALI. 510 00:24:31,469 --> 00:24:35,373 WHAT DO YOU AS AN ADULT THINK OF JULIETTE NOW? 511 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,543 BECAUSE ONE OF THE THINGS HE WILL SAY ABOUT JULIETTE, WHEN 512 00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:42,480 YOU'RE HER AGE, YOU'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND JULIETTE. 513 00:24:42,547 --> 00:24:46,952 WHEN YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND, YOU'RE TOO OLD TO 514 00:24:47,018 --> 00:24:47,485 PLAY JULIETTE. 515 00:24:47,552 --> 00:24:48,420 >> EXACTLY. 516 00:24:48,486 --> 00:24:51,289 THAT'S WHY RADIO PLAY-- RADIO PLAY IS GREAT. 517 00:24:51,356 --> 00:24:53,024 IT'S A GREAT CHANCE TO DO IT AGAIN. 518 00:24:53,091 --> 00:24:56,595 AND I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE DONE IT AGAIN IF IT WASN'T THIS 519 00:24:56,661 --> 00:25:01,633 NEW, BEING IN THE MEDIUM OF RADIO, AND ALSO BEING BILINGUAL. 520 00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:04,970 I REALLY WANTED TO TRY MY HAND AT WORKING IN SPANISH. 521 00:25:05,036 --> 00:25:09,841 BUT, I MEAN, FROM THIS POINT IN MY LIFE, BEFORE I SAW WHAT 522 00:25:09,908 --> 00:25:14,012 OPPORTUNITIES OF LOVE THESE TWO HAD, AND NOW I JUST-- I REMEMBER 523 00:25:14,079 --> 00:25:16,748 WHEN I WAS GETTING READY FOR IT, I FELT LIKE OH, MY GOD, THESE 524 00:25:16,815 --> 00:25:19,618 KIDS ARE SO IRRESPONSIBLE, YOU KNOW. 525 00:25:19,684 --> 00:25:23,188 THEY MEET EACH OTHER AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, THEY'RE MARRIED THE 526 00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:24,823 NEXT DAY AND THEY DIE THE NEXT. 527 00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:29,661 LIKE, THAT'S A LOT TO GIVE UP FOR A DUDE YOU JUST MET. 528 00:25:29,728 --> 00:25:36,268 SO, ANYWAY, I HAD TO PUT ASIDE MY PRAGMATISM AT MY AGE AND MY 529 00:25:36,334 --> 00:25:41,139 FEAR OF HEARTBREAK TO REALLY UNDERSTAND THEIR DEDICATION TO 530 00:25:41,206 --> 00:25:42,307 EACH OTHER. 531 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:45,110 >> Stephen: HOW DO YOU DO A RADIO PLAY WITH THIS MUCH, YOU 532 00:25:45,176 --> 00:25:49,314 KNOW, CLIMBING AND KISSING AND FIGHTING AND POISONING? 533 00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:54,352 HOW DO YOU DO THE PHYSICALITY OF "ROMEO AND JULIETTE," BECAUSE 534 00:25:54,419 --> 00:25:55,220 THERE'S A LOT GOING ON. 535 00:25:55,287 --> 00:25:56,721 >> TELL ME ABOUT IT. 536 00:25:56,788 --> 00:26:04,162 I MEAN, DOING A PLAY OVER ZOOM WITH ALL THE TECHNICAL ISSUES ON 537 00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:09,868 YOUR SHOULDERS AND TRYING TO CONNECT WITH ACTORS WITH 538 00:26:09,935 --> 00:26:13,471 GLITCHES AND-- IT WAS A MAJOR HEADACHE. 539 00:26:13,538 --> 00:26:16,608 AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT WE HAD THE HARDEST-- ONE OF THE 540 00:26:16,675 --> 00:26:21,479 THINGS WE GRAPPLED WITH WAS, LIKE THE KISSING, ESPECIALLY. 541 00:26:21,546 --> 00:26:29,187 I REMEMBER ME AND JUAN CASTANO, WHO PLAYS ROMEO, HAVING REALLY 542 00:26:29,254 --> 00:26:31,323 EXPLICIT CONVERSATIONS ABOUT OKAY, OKAY, WHO STARTED THIS 543 00:26:31,389 --> 00:26:31,890 KISS? 544 00:26:31,957 --> 00:26:32,991 HOW DO WE FEEL ABOUT IT? 545 00:26:33,058 --> 00:26:34,025 IS IT A PECK? 546 00:26:34,092 --> 00:26:36,528 IS IT A MOUTH-OPEN KISS? 547 00:26:36,594 --> 00:26:38,363 IS IT A FRENCH KISS? 548 00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:39,631 HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT? 549 00:26:39,698 --> 00:26:42,033 YOU KNOW, ALL THESE THINGS THAT YOU JUST WOULD NOT HAVE TO TALK 550 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:45,537 ABOUT IF YOU JUST HAD THE CHANCE TO PRACTICE AN ACTUAL KISS. 551 00:26:45,603 --> 00:26:48,273 SO, YOU KNOW, WE HAD TO GET CREATIVE IN THAT WAY SO THAT WE 552 00:26:48,340 --> 00:26:51,543 COULD BE TELLING THE SAME STORY. 553 00:26:51,609 --> 00:26:53,745 >> Stephen: HOW DO YOU DO THE KISS? 554 00:26:53,812 --> 00:26:56,748 WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MAKE THE SOUND? 555 00:26:56,815 --> 00:26:59,651 >> YOU HAVE THESE TWO FINGERS HERE. 556 00:26:59,718 --> 00:27:00,885 I PERFECTED THIS. 557 00:27:00,952 --> 00:27:06,291 IF YOU WANT A CLOSED KISS, YOU CLOSE YOUR FINGERS, AND THEN... 558 00:27:06,358 --> 00:27:07,692 AND KISS IT LIKE THAT. 559 00:27:07,759 --> 00:27:12,764 AND IF YOU WANT, LIKE, A SOGGY, WET KISS, YOU KEEP IT OPEN. 560 00:27:12,831 --> 00:27:16,668 ( LAUGHTER ) I CAN TEACH A WHOLE MASTER 561 00:27:16,735 --> 00:27:17,569 CLASS. 562 00:27:17,635 --> 00:27:20,638 >> Stephen: JST LIKE 14-YEAR-OLDS PRACTICE. 563 00:27:20,705 --> 00:27:21,639 >> BASICALLY. 564 00:27:21,706 --> 00:27:24,442 >> Stephen: YOU'VE BEEN BUSY DURING THE PANDEMIC. 565 00:27:24,509 --> 00:27:28,680 BESIDE ALL THE OTHER PROJECTS, YOU'VE ALSO BEEN AN EXECUTIVE 566 00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:33,251 PRODUCER OF THIS CARTOON CALLED "SUPER SEMA." 567 00:27:33,318 --> 00:27:38,289 WHO IS "SUPER SEMA," AND WHAT'S HER SUPER POWER? 568 00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:43,161 >> SUPER SEMA IS A YOUNG KENYAN GIRL WHO IS REALLY INTO STEM, 569 00:27:43,228 --> 00:27:50,001 AND SHE USES STEM-- STEM TECHNOLOGY-- STEM THOUGHTS, 570 00:27:50,068 --> 00:27:55,306 IDEAS, TO SAVE THE DAY FROM AN EVIL MAN CALLED TABOR. 571 00:27:55,373 --> 00:27:57,675 AND IT'S-- I'M SO PROUD OF IT. 572 00:27:57,742 --> 00:28:02,313 IT'S-- WHEN I FIRST SAW IT, I JUST WEPT BECAUSE I JUST NEVER 573 00:28:02,380 --> 00:28:06,618 HAD THAT KIND OF REPRESENTATION WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. 574 00:28:06,684 --> 00:28:10,822 AND I'M SO HAPPY THAT SHE EXISTS TO EXCITE PEOPLE, YOUNG KIDS 575 00:28:10,889 --> 00:28:12,023 ABOUT STEM. 576 00:28:12,090 --> 00:28:14,692 >> Stephen: DID YOU-- DID YOU HAVE ANY SUPER POWERS WHEN YOU 577 00:28:14,759 --> 00:28:16,361 WERE YOUNG? 578 00:28:16,428 --> 00:28:20,765 >> OH, I THINK MY SUPER POWER IS MY IMAGINATION. 579 00:28:20,832 --> 00:28:24,803 I USED TO COMMIT TO MY IMAGINATION. 580 00:28:24,869 --> 00:28:26,237 I REMEMBER -- >> Stephen: LIKE IMAGINARY 581 00:28:26,304 --> 00:28:27,806 FRIENDS OR SOMETHING? 582 00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:28,907 OR... 583 00:28:28,973 --> 00:28:31,943 >> WELL, YES, I DID HAVE IMAGINARY FRIENDS, TO BE VERY 584 00:28:32,010 --> 00:28:32,811 HONEST. 585 00:28:32,877 --> 00:28:34,646 ( LAUGHS ) I HAD FULL-BLOWN CONVERSATIONS 586 00:28:34,712 --> 00:28:35,914 WITH PEOPLE WHO WEREN'T THERE. 587 00:28:35,980 --> 00:28:40,952 I THINK MY MOM WAS QUITE-- QUITE CONCERNED FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH. 588 00:28:41,019 --> 00:28:45,156 BUT I REMEMBER ONCE I WAS PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK WITH MY 589 00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:46,791 SISTER, AND I REALLY COMMITTED TO IT. 590 00:28:46,858 --> 00:28:48,093 IT WAS IN THE NIGHT. 591 00:28:48,159 --> 00:28:52,931 AND I HID IN BETWEEN THE DINING TABLE AND THE CHAIRS. 592 00:28:52,997 --> 00:28:58,203 AND I HAPPEN TO FALL ASLEEP THERE, AND THEY LOOKED FOR ME 593 00:28:58,269 --> 00:29:00,905 ALL NIGHT AND DIDN'T FIND ME ( LAUGHS ). 594 00:29:00,972 --> 00:29:01,773 >> Stephen: OH, MY GOD. 595 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,276 >> YEAH, SO I-- I MEANT BUSINESS. 596 00:29:05,343 --> 00:29:06,344 >> Stephen: WOW. 597 00:29:06,411 --> 00:29:09,314 THEY PROBABLY THOUGHT YOU'D RUN OFF WITH YOUR ROMEO 598 00:29:09,380 --> 00:29:13,585 ( LAUGHS ) >> Stephen: WELL, THE RADIO 599 00:29:13,651 --> 00:29:17,422 PLAY OF T "ROMEO Y JULIETA" 600 00:29:17,489 --> 00:29:17,889 IS AVAILABLE FOR DOWNLOAD THIS THURSDAY FROM THE PUBLIC THEATER 601 00:29:17,956 --> 00:29:20,191 AND WNYC STUDIOS. 602 00:29:20,258 --> 00:29:21,059 LUPITA NYONG'O, EVERYBODY. 603 00:29:21,126 --> 00:29:22,760 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MARTIN FREEMAN. 604 00:29:38,776 --> 00:29:39,711 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, 605 00:29:39,777 --> 00:29:40,979 WELCOME BACK. 606 00:29:41,045 --> 00:29:42,847 MY NEXT GUEST IS THE EMMY-AWARD WINNING ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM "THE 607 00:29:42,914 --> 00:29:45,483 HOBBIT," "FARGO," AND "SHERLOCK." 608 00:29:45,550 --> 00:29:47,752 HE NOW STARS IN "BREEDERS" ON FX. 609 00:29:47,819 --> 00:29:52,790 >> I'M JUST WANTING TO BROWSE SOME SEMIPRO RIGS, NOT FULL-ON 610 00:29:52,857 --> 00:29:57,095 PROFESSIONAL, BUT NOT FISHER-PRICE MACHINES, EITHER. 611 00:29:57,162 --> 00:29:58,930 BUDGET? 612 00:29:58,997 --> 00:29:59,430 400. 613 00:29:59,497 --> 00:30:00,899 TWO 800-ISH, GRAND. 614 00:30:00,965 --> 00:30:01,933 >> OKAY. 615 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,868 SO WE'VE GOT SOME ROOM TO MANEUVER. 616 00:30:03,935 --> 00:30:07,405 >> YES, MY SON'S 13th BIRTHDAY IS THE AGE I WAS WHEN I 617 00:30:07,472 --> 00:30:08,940 GOT MY FIRST PROPER CAMERA. 618 00:30:09,007 --> 00:30:09,841 >> YOU'RE A PHOTOGRAPHER? 619 00:30:09,908 --> 00:30:11,609 >> YEAH, I AM. 620 00:30:11,676 --> 00:30:13,511 SORRY, NO, I'M NOT. 621 00:30:13,578 --> 00:30:16,481 THESE DAYS IT'S JUST SNAPS WITH THE PHONE BUT I USED TO BE 622 00:30:16,548 --> 00:30:16,781 PRETTY GOOD. 623 00:30:16,848 --> 00:30:17,682 >> YEAH. 624 00:30:17,749 --> 00:30:19,984 >> YEAH, I HAD AN EYE FOR THE COMPOSITION. 625 00:30:20,051 --> 00:30:24,055 I WOULD TAKE A BUS TO RICHMOND PARK AND SIT THERE FOR HOURS ON 626 00:30:24,122 --> 00:30:30,962 MY OWN PHOTOGRAPHING BIRDS, WILDLIFE. 627 00:30:31,029 --> 00:30:31,896 CLOUDS. 628 00:30:31,963 --> 00:30:34,732 >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME, MARTIN FREEMAN! 629 00:30:34,799 --> 00:30:35,400 HELLO, MARTIN FREEMAN. 630 00:30:35,466 --> 00:30:36,034 GOOD TO SEE YOU. 631 00:30:36,100 --> 00:30:37,969 >> NICE TO SEE YOU, STEPHEN. 632 00:30:38,036 --> 00:30:39,137 NICE TO SEE YOU. 633 00:30:39,204 --> 00:30:42,073 >> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING US FROM LONDON. 634 00:30:42,140 --> 00:30:44,142 >> ACTUALLY, LIVERPOOL. 635 00:30:44,209 --> 00:30:45,176 >> Stephen: OH, REALLY? 636 00:30:45,243 --> 00:30:49,347 >> YES, I'M FILMING SOMETHING IN LIVERPOOL. 637 00:30:49,414 --> 00:30:54,953 >> Stephen: U.K., LET'S ROUND IT OUT AND SAY YOU U.K., U.K. 638 00:30:55,019 --> 00:30:58,122 THAT WOULD BE IMPRESSIVE, EXCEPT I JUST SPOKE TO LUPITA NYONG'O 639 00:30:58,189 --> 00:30:58,890 FROM KENYA. 640 00:30:58,957 --> 00:31:00,992 SO IT'S NOT A CONTEST, BUT SHE WON. 641 00:31:01,059 --> 00:31:02,260 >> WHY DID SHE WIN. 642 00:31:02,327 --> 00:31:04,562 >> Stephen: BECAUSE SHE'S FURTHER AWAY. 643 00:31:04,629 --> 00:31:07,565 AND, I'M SORRY, KENYA IS A LITTLE MORE EXCITING THAN 644 00:31:07,632 --> 00:31:08,499 LIVERPOOL? 645 00:31:08,566 --> 00:31:10,635 >> YEAH, TELL THAT TO THE FABS, YOU DAMN... 646 00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:13,404 >> Stephen: THEY LEFT! 647 00:31:13,471 --> 00:31:15,340 >> THIS IS VERY TRUE. 648 00:31:15,406 --> 00:31:17,175 ( LAUGHS ). 649 00:31:17,242 --> 00:31:20,912 >> Stephen: ARE YOU-- ARE YOU LIVERED PUDDLING YOURSELF? 650 00:31:20,979 --> 00:31:22,580 >> NO, I'M NOT. 651 00:31:22,647 --> 00:31:26,017 I'M WORKING IN LIVERPOOL. 652 00:31:26,084 --> 00:31:30,688 >> Stephen: WHY DID YOU LAUGH OR DID YOU NOT LIKE ME SAYING 653 00:31:30,755 --> 00:31:31,289 LIVERPUDDLING? 654 00:31:31,356 --> 00:31:32,523 >> YOU WERE QUITE CORRECT. 655 00:31:32,590 --> 00:31:36,194 I THINK IF I WAS LIVERPUDDLING, THAT WOULD HAVE COME UP BEFORE 656 00:31:36,261 --> 00:31:37,395 IN ONE OF OUR MEETINGS. 657 00:31:37,462 --> 00:31:38,596 I THINK IT WOULD. 658 00:31:38,663 --> 00:31:41,432 AND ALSO I WOULDN'T SOUND LIKE THIS. 659 00:31:41,499 --> 00:31:45,370 >> Stephen: WHAT WOULD YOU SOUND LIKE, MARTIN FREEMAN? 660 00:31:45,436 --> 00:31:48,640 >> WHY DON'T YOU SHOW ME WHAT YOU WOULD SOUND LIKE? 661 00:31:48,706 --> 00:31:52,043 >> Stephen: WELL, I CERTAINLY ENJOYED BEING IN "THE HOBBIT" 662 00:31:52,110 --> 00:31:53,144 WITH PETER JACKSON. 663 00:31:53,211 --> 00:31:53,711 THAT WAS NICE. 664 00:31:53,778 --> 00:31:55,647 THAT'S NOT BAD AT ALL." 665 00:31:55,713 --> 00:31:59,250 >> THAT'S A LOT BETTER THAN SOME OF YOUR FELLOW COUNTRYMEN. 666 00:31:59,317 --> 00:32:00,585 >> Stephen: THAT'S GEORGE. 667 00:32:00,652 --> 00:32:01,019 DOING GEORGE THERE. 668 00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:02,186 >> I COULD TELL. 669 00:32:02,253 --> 00:32:04,856 >> Stephen: BECAUSE I WAS PLAYING RHYTHM GUITAR THE ENTIRE 670 00:32:04,922 --> 00:32:05,456 TIME. 671 00:32:05,523 --> 00:32:06,724 >> IN YOUR EYES, YOU WERE. 672 00:32:06,791 --> 00:32:11,829 >> Stephen: IT'S THE 20th ANNIVERSARY OF "THE OFFICE" THE 673 00:32:11,896 --> 00:32:13,331 ORIGINAL "THE OFFICE." 674 00:32:13,398 --> 00:32:20,405 YOU AND YOUR BREAKOUT-- YOUR FIRST MAJOR ROLE TIM CANTERBURY 675 00:32:20,471 --> 00:32:21,606 "THE OFFICE." 676 00:32:21,673 --> 00:32:24,409 YOU'RE A BIG DEAL NOW, BUT YOU SAID YOU'VE BEEN FAMOUS FOR 20 677 00:32:24,475 --> 00:32:27,078 YEARS BUT YOU'VE NEVER GOTTEN GOOD AT BEING FAMOUS. 678 00:32:27,145 --> 00:32:28,246 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 679 00:32:28,313 --> 00:32:33,618 >> I THINK BECAUSE SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU WHEN YOU BECOME 680 00:32:33,685 --> 00:32:34,852 FAMOUS. 681 00:32:34,919 --> 00:32:36,954 YOU KNOW, THINGS CHANGE, AND I THINK YOU'RE SORT OF EXPECTED TO 682 00:32:37,021 --> 00:32:42,193 WEAR A SORT OF MANTLE, AND I'VE ONLY GOT-- I DON'T THINK I WEAR 683 00:32:42,260 --> 00:32:43,394 IT VERY EASILY, I DON'T THINK. 684 00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:46,798 I MEAN, OTHER PEOPLE WEAR THAT A LITTLE BIT BETTER THAN I DO, 685 00:32:46,864 --> 00:32:48,032 MORE COMFORTABLY, OR SOMETHING. 686 00:32:48,099 --> 00:32:51,235 AND I THINK IT-- I DON'T KNOW. 687 00:32:51,302 --> 00:32:53,037 I JUST -- >> Stephen: DOES IT INVOLVE 688 00:32:53,104 --> 00:32:57,141 BEING WILLING TO WAVE TO A CROWD OR STAND ON A RED CARPET? 689 00:32:57,208 --> 00:32:59,644 WHAT'S THE PART OF IT THAT IS UNEASY WITH YOU? 690 00:32:59,711 --> 00:33:03,881 >> I'LL-- IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, THE BIT THAT'S UNEASY WITH ME IS 691 00:33:03,948 --> 00:33:06,984 WHEN YOU'RE-- WHEN YOU'RE IN A CAR ON THE WAY-- AND, LISTEN, 692 00:33:07,051 --> 00:33:09,587 THESE ARE ALL, CLEARLY, GOOD PROBLEMS TO HAVE. 693 00:33:09,654 --> 00:33:10,822 I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT. 694 00:33:10,888 --> 00:33:14,425 BUT WHEN YOU'RE IN A CAR ON THE WAY TO THE RED CARPET, RIGHT, 695 00:33:14,492 --> 00:33:17,995 AND YOU MAYBE JUST-- YOU KNOW, YOU'VE MAYBE JUST HAD ONE OF 696 00:33:18,062 --> 00:33:21,632 THESE, OR WHATEVER, AS A LITTLE STRAIGHTENER. 697 00:33:21,699 --> 00:33:23,868 AND YOU'RE IN THE CAR, AND AS YOU GET A LITTLE BIS CLOSER, YOU 698 00:33:23,935 --> 00:33:26,704 START TO HEAR THAT... 699 00:33:26,771 --> 00:33:27,672 NOISE. 700 00:33:27,739 --> 00:33:29,874 AND IT-- IT'S NOT GOOD FOR MY NERVOUS SYSTEM. 701 00:33:29,941 --> 00:33:31,175 I DON'T THINK IT'S... 702 00:33:31,242 --> 00:33:34,812 IT DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL, "YEAH! 703 00:33:34,879 --> 00:33:38,216 THIS IS GREAT!" IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE... 704 00:33:38,282 --> 00:33:38,549 ANXIOUS. 705 00:33:38,616 --> 00:33:39,317 YOU KNOW. 706 00:33:39,384 --> 00:33:40,485 >> Stephen: THE ROAR OF THE CROWD. 707 00:33:40,551 --> 00:33:41,552 >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 708 00:33:41,619 --> 00:33:44,188 >> Stephen: SO YOU'RE NOT LIKE A GLADIATOR. 709 00:33:44,255 --> 00:33:46,357 YOU FEEL LIKE THE MEAT BEING THROWN TO THE LIONS. 710 00:33:46,424 --> 00:33:48,025 >> YEAH, KIND OF. 711 00:33:48,092 --> 00:33:51,028 YES, YOU'RE SORT OF THE MEAT BEING THROWN TO THE LIONS, BUT 712 00:33:51,095 --> 00:33:55,166 THE GAME IS YOU ARE REALLY THE GLADIATOR, BUT ACTUALLY INSIDE 713 00:33:55,233 --> 00:33:59,103 YOU FEEL LIKE-- YEAH, YOU FEEL LIKE AN EARLY... 714 00:33:59,170 --> 00:34:00,571 >> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT THE FAN BASE. 715 00:34:00,638 --> 00:34:03,374 YOU HAVE SOME INTENSE FAN BASE. 716 00:34:03,441 --> 00:34:08,413 YOU'VE GOT "THE OFFICE FANS" THE MIDDLE EARTH "THE HOBBIT" FANS, 717 00:34:08,479 --> 00:34:09,514 AND THE SHERLOCK FANS. 718 00:34:09,580 --> 00:34:12,049 OF THOSE GROUPS, CAN YOU TELL WHO THEY ARE-- WHEN THEY 719 00:34:12,116 --> 00:34:15,186 RECOGNIZE YOU, CAN YOU GO, "THAT'S FROM THIS SHOW OR THAT'S 720 00:34:15,253 --> 00:34:17,355 FROM THAT MOVIE?" >> YES, YOU CAN A LITTLE BIT. 721 00:34:17,422 --> 00:34:21,392 AND I DON'T KNOW WHETHER IT'S CHANGED-- BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, 722 00:34:21,459 --> 00:34:25,163 "THE OFFICE--" "SHERLOCK" THAT WAS ON 11 YEARS AGO FIRST TIME. 723 00:34:25,229 --> 00:34:26,764 SO SOME OF THOSE FANS WOULD HAVE GROWN UP. 724 00:34:26,831 --> 00:34:29,934 THERE WAS A PERIOD WHERE THERE WAS A KIND OF SWEET SPOT OF A 725 00:34:30,001 --> 00:34:34,939 COUPLE OF YEARS WHERE I KNEW IF IT WAS A GIRL OR A WOMAN AGED 726 00:34:35,006 --> 00:34:40,211 BETWEEN 16 AND 25 WITH LONG, DARK HAIR AND GLASSES AND A 727 00:34:40,278 --> 00:34:43,614 RUCKSACK, THAT WAS "SHERLOCK" WITHOUT QUESTION, WITHOUT 728 00:34:43,681 --> 00:34:44,882 QUESTION. 729 00:34:44,949 --> 00:34:47,618 THEN THERE WOULD BE SOME SORT OF CONCENTRIC CIRCLE-- AND THEY'RE 730 00:34:47,685 --> 00:34:52,156 ALSO ALLOWED TO LIKE "THE HOBBIT," AND THEY DO. 731 00:34:52,223 --> 00:34:54,592 "OFFICE" FANS ARE MAINLY 53-YEAR-OLD MEN. 732 00:34:54,659 --> 00:34:56,127 >> Stephen: SAD, SAD, 53-YEAR-OLD MEN. 733 00:34:56,194 --> 00:34:59,864 >> THEY HAVEN'T GOT THE ENERGY TO RUN TOWARDS ME, THANK GOD. 734 00:34:59,931 --> 00:35:02,033 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. 735 00:35:02,099 --> 00:35:03,100 BUT FOLKS, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE MARTIN FREEMAN. 736 00:35:37,134 --> 00:35:38,202 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, 737 00:35:38,269 --> 00:35:42,073 WE'RE BACK WITH THE STAR OF "BREEDERS," MARTIN FREEMAN. 738 00:35:42,139 --> 00:35:45,076 THE NEW SHOW, IT'S IN SEASON TWO, IT'S CALLED "BREEDERS." 739 00:35:45,142 --> 00:35:47,011 I UNDERSTAND THE SHOW CAME TO YOU IN A DREAM? 740 00:35:47,078 --> 00:35:48,279 >> IT REALLY DID. 741 00:35:48,346 --> 00:35:53,484 I HAD A DREAM-- I DREAMT ALMOST VERBATIM THE FIRST SCENE OF THE 742 00:35:53,551 --> 00:35:54,986 FIRST SERIES, THE FIRST EPISODE. 743 00:35:55,052 --> 00:36:00,858 AND IT WAS A DREAM-- IT SORT OF ECHOED REALITY, YOU KNOW, MY 744 00:36:00,925 --> 00:36:04,729 REAL PARENTING, OF GOING UP THE STAIRS, AND FOR SOME REASON I 745 00:36:04,795 --> 00:36:06,597 HAD TO BOLOK MY CHILDREN. 746 00:36:06,664 --> 00:36:10,301 I HAD TO SHOUT AT THEM FOR SOME REASON. 747 00:36:10,368 --> 00:36:14,171 I WAS TRYING TO TALK MYSELF DOWN FROM THE PESPIS, AND I THOUGHT 748 00:36:14,238 --> 00:36:15,439 DON'T SHOUT. 749 00:36:15,506 --> 00:36:17,542 YOU FEEL AWFUL WHEN YOU SCREAM AT THEM. 750 00:36:17,608 --> 00:36:18,876 DON'T DO IT, DON'T DO IT. 751 00:36:18,943 --> 00:36:23,881 I JUST ABOUT GOT TO THE TOP STEP, ON THE LANDING AND I 752 00:36:23,948 --> 00:36:25,416 THOUGHT OKAY I'M JUST GOING TO BE CALM. 753 00:36:25,483 --> 00:36:28,853 AND AS SOON AS I OPENED THE DOOR, I UNLEASHED HELL-- WHETHER 754 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,656 IT WAS JOE OR GRACE, I DON'T KNOW. 755 00:36:31,722 --> 00:36:32,890 >> Stephen: THIS IS JUST A DREAM. 756 00:36:32,957 --> 00:36:34,825 >> THAT'S JUST A DREAM. 757 00:36:34,892 --> 00:36:36,761 BUT I'VE DEFINITELY DONE IT. 758 00:36:36,827 --> 00:36:38,396 I'VE DEFINITELY DONE IT. 759 00:36:38,462 --> 00:36:41,999 AND I WOKE UP AND THOUGHT THAT-- THERE'S SOMETHING IN THAT. 760 00:36:42,066 --> 00:36:44,502 BECAUSE IT WAS SO SORT OF RIDICULOUS AND SO KIND OF-- YOU 761 00:36:44,569 --> 00:36:49,740 KNOW, MY CHARACTER IN THIS DREAM AND ME IS SO FLAWED, THAT FOR 762 00:36:49,807 --> 00:36:52,944 ALL THE BEST INTENTIONS, THEY GO OUT THE WINDOW WHEN YOU'RE-- YOU 763 00:36:53,010 --> 00:36:54,378 KNOW, WHEN YOUR TEMPER GOES. 764 00:36:54,445 --> 00:36:57,715 AND I THOUGHT THAT COULD BE FUNNY IN A SORT OF DARK WAY, IN 765 00:36:57,782 --> 00:36:59,417 A SORT OF REALISTIC WAY. 766 00:36:59,483 --> 00:37:03,821 SO I SORT OF SET ABOUT WITH CHRIS ADAMSON AND SIMON 767 00:37:03,888 --> 00:37:08,259 BLACKWELL TRYING TO MAKE A SHOW THAT WAS-- IN A COMEDIC SET AGO 768 00:37:08,326 --> 00:37:12,863 AS CLOSE TO THE UNPROUD BITS OF PARENTING, AS IT WAS POSSIBLE TO 769 00:37:12,930 --> 00:37:13,431 GET, YOU KNOW. 770 00:37:13,497 --> 00:37:14,699 SO HOPEFULLY IT'S FUNNY. 771 00:37:14,765 --> 00:37:18,402 BUT IT'S ALSO-- I DON'T KNOW, IN THAT PARTICULAR COMEDIC SETTING, 772 00:37:18,469 --> 00:37:21,205 I'VE NOT SEEN SOMETHING THAT GOES AS FAR NEAR THE TRUTH OF 773 00:37:21,272 --> 00:37:24,809 WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SCREAM AT YOUR KIDS, LIKE, FOR REAL. 774 00:37:24,875 --> 00:37:28,579 >> Stephen: AND IN THE SHOW, YOU ACTUALLY USE SOME PRETTY 775 00:37:28,646 --> 00:37:29,013 SALTY LANGUAGE. 776 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:30,181 >> YEAH. 777 00:37:30,247 --> 00:37:33,517 >> Stephen: BUT THAT DOESN'T-- MY UNDERSTANDING IS THAT YOU 778 00:37:33,584 --> 00:37:36,921 DON'T ACTUALLY DO THAT WITH THESE CHILD ACTORS. 779 00:37:36,988 --> 00:37:39,957 THAT YOU USE REPLACEMENT WORDS FOR THE TAKES THAT THEY'RE IN 780 00:37:40,024 --> 00:37:40,858 THE ROOM FOR? 781 00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:42,026 >> YES. 782 00:37:42,093 --> 00:37:44,662 IN THE FIRST-- IN THE FIRST SEASON, THE KIDS WERE-- WE'VE 783 00:37:44,729 --> 00:37:45,329 RECAST NOW. 784 00:37:45,396 --> 00:37:47,531 SO THE STORY IS FIVE YEARS UP. 785 00:37:47,598 --> 00:37:50,534 BUT IN THE FIRST SEASON, THE CHARACTERS OF OUR KIDS WERE, 786 00:37:50,601 --> 00:37:54,305 LIKE, FIVE AND SEVEN-- OR FOUR AND SEVEN. 787 00:37:54,372 --> 00:38:00,711 AND SO WHEN WE-- YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT QUITE RIGHTLY ALLOWED 788 00:38:00,778 --> 00:38:06,550 TO SWEAR AND SCREEN, SWEARING ABUSE IN FRONT OF CHILDREN AT 789 00:38:06,617 --> 00:38:07,785 CHILDREN. 790 00:38:07,852 --> 00:38:09,654 WE WOULD HAVE THINGS THAT RHYMED WITH THE WORD OR OMIT THE WORD 791 00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:10,888 ALL TOGETHER. 792 00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:17,428 LIKE THE "F" WORD, WE WOULD TRY TO GET THROUGH WITHOUT SAYING 793 00:38:17,495 --> 00:38:18,896 THE "F" WORD. 794 00:38:18,963 --> 00:38:21,565 THEY WANT TO BE ABLE TO DUB IT IN POST. 795 00:38:21,632 --> 00:38:26,537 IF YOU'RE SAYING FLOCK, IT SOUND LIKE THE RIGHT WORD. 796 00:38:26,604 --> 00:38:28,606 OR I COULD GO WORSE, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO. 797 00:38:28,673 --> 00:38:30,007 YOU GET THE PICTURE. 798 00:38:30,074 --> 00:38:33,344 THINGS THAT RHYME WITH A BAD WORD THAT AREN'T ACTUALLY A BAD 799 00:38:33,411 --> 00:38:36,981 WORD, SO YOU CAN SAY, "I DIDN'T SAY IT IN FRONT OF A 800 00:38:37,048 --> 00:38:37,548 SEVEN-YEAR-OLD. 801 00:38:37,615 --> 00:38:40,284 I ACTUALLY SAID FLOCK." 802 00:38:40,351 --> 00:38:42,887 >> Stephen: BUT LATER YOU SAY IT AND IT GETS LAID IN. 803 00:38:42,953 --> 00:38:45,690 AND I UNDERSTAND YOU LOVE A GOOD-- YOU LOVE A GOOD CUSSING. 804 00:38:45,756 --> 00:38:48,893 >> YEAH, I MEAN, I'M AN-- I'M A NATURAL SWEARER. 805 00:38:48,959 --> 00:38:52,897 I DO GENUINELY UNDERSTAND THAT IT'S NOT ALWAYS APPROPRIATE, AND 806 00:38:52,963 --> 00:38:53,964 I WOULDN'T DO IT EVERYWHERE. 807 00:38:54,031 --> 00:38:57,535 BUT I DO FIND IT HARD NOT TO, I HAVE TO SAY. 808 00:38:57,601 --> 00:39:01,906 LIKE, YEAH, I HAVE TO CONCENTRATE TO NOT DO IT, YEAH. 809 00:39:01,972 --> 00:39:06,143 >> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE-- WOULD YOU LIKE TO JUST CUT LOOSE 810 00:39:06,210 --> 00:39:10,281 RIGHT NOW AND SERRIFYING THE CBS CENSORS. 811 00:39:10,347 --> 00:39:11,215 THEY'LL JUST BLEEP IT. 812 00:39:11,282 --> 00:39:14,685 DO YOU HAVE A FAV? 813 00:39:14,752 --> 00:39:19,356 >> YOU STUPID ( LONG BLEEP ). 814 00:39:19,423 --> 00:39:20,157 THAT, THAT. 815 00:39:20,224 --> 00:39:25,930 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WOW. 816 00:39:25,996 --> 00:39:29,500 >> BUT THEN-- THAT'S. 817 00:39:29,567 --> 00:39:31,235 >> Stephen: WOW, THAT WAS GOOD. 818 00:39:31,302 --> 00:39:35,039 I WANT TO TELL THE PEOPLE AT HOME, WHOM WILL NEVER HEAR ANY 819 00:39:35,106 --> 00:39:37,842 OF THAT, THAT HE REPEATED ONE OF THE WORD, AND IT WAS ONE OF THE 820 00:39:37,908 --> 00:39:38,542 GOOD ONES. 821 00:39:38,609 --> 00:39:40,177 >> IT WAS ONE OF THE GOOD ONES. 822 00:39:40,244 --> 00:39:43,948 IT WAS ONE OF THE MORE VALUABLE ONES IN SCRABBLE, YES. 823 00:39:44,014 --> 00:39:46,717 LAUGH >> Stephen: SEASON TWO OF 824 00:39:46,784 --> 00:39:51,322 "BREEDERS" PREMIERES MONDAY ON FX. 825 00:39:51,388 --> 00:39:51,956 MARTIN FREEMAN, EVERYBODY! 826 00:39:52,022 --> 00:39:53,023 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 827 00:40:01,899 --> 00:40:04,335 LATE SHOW." 828 00:40:04,401 --> 00:40:08,339 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE EARVIN "MAGIC" JOHNSON 829 00:40:08,405 --> 00:40:10,174 AND COMEDIAN ERIC ANDRE. 830 00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:10,641 JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. 831 00:40:10,708 --> 00:40:12,710 GOOD NIGHT!