"THE PRO-LIFE SPIDER-MAN" WAS ARRESTED 60 STORIES IN THE AIR.
HE FREE-CLIMBED SAN FRANCISCO'S SALESFORCE TOWER YESTERDAY,
WHICH IS MORE THAN 1,000 FEET TALL.
>> IT'S "THE LATE
SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
>> SAY IT AIN'T ROE. AND MOTHER'S DAY FIRST DRAFTS
WITH STEPHEN AND EVIE. PLUS,
GLENN CLOSE AND SHERYL CROW
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY
HUMAN. AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE
ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> HEY, EVERYBODY! WELCOME, WELCOME ONE AND ALL.
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WELCOME, DOWN HERE, UP THERE, ALL AROUND THE WORLD, TO "THE
LATE SHOW." I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
48 HOURS, LET'S SAY, AND
AMERICA IS STILL REELING FROM MONDAY'S LEAKED SUPREME COURT
DECISION OVERTURNING "ROE V. WADE."
IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. BECAUSE WITH INFLATION,
THE PANDEMIC, RISING FASCISM, UKRAINE, THIS WASN'T EXACTLY AN
ISSUE ON THE FRONT BURNER. IN FACT, BACK IN 2021, A GALLUP
POLL ASKED WHAT PEOPLE THOUGHT THE MOST IMPORTANT PROBLEM
FACING THE U.S. WAS, AND FEWER THAN HALF OF 1% ANSWERED
ABORTION. BY MARCH OF 2022, THAT NUMBER
WAS ZERO. CLEARLY, AFTER 50 T TURBULENT
YEARS, "ROE" WAS FINALLY NO LONGER A FIVE-ALARM FIRE.
BUT THE CONSERVATIVE MAJORITY DECIDED TO FOLLOW THEIR STANDARD
IN CASE OF NO EMERGENCY, BURN, BABY, BURN.
IF PEOPLE DIDN'T CONSIDER THIS A PRESSING ISSUE BEFORE, THEY SURE
DO NOW. LAST NIGHT, THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE
SHOWED UP TO PROTESTS IN WASHINGTON D.C.; NEW YORK CITY;
AUSTIN, TEXAS; AND LOS ANGELES. CALIFORNIA.
THAT'S A LOT OF PEOPLE.
USUALLY, YOU ONLY GET CROWDS LIKE THAT WHEN DELTA ANNOUNCES
THEY'VE BEGUN PRE-BOARDING.
YOU CALL MY ZONE! OF COURSE. AFTER YEARS OF
PACKING THE SUPREME COURT WITH THE EXPRESS INTENTION OF
OVERTURNING "ROE V. WADE," REPUBLICANS IN CONGRESS
TOOK A VICTORY LAP. JIMMY,
OH, RIGHT. I FORGOT.
THEY'RE COWARDS. BECAUSE THEY KNOW IT'S REALLY
UNPOPULAR. SO THEY DIDN'T TALK ABOUT THE
ACTUAL DECISION. INSTEAD, REPUBLICANS FOCUSED ON
THE UNPRECEDENTED NATURE OF THE LEAK ITSELF.
LOOK, I CAN UNDERSTAND THE ARGUMENT THAT THIS LEAK IS BAD
FOR THE INSTITUTION OF THE SUPREME COURT.
BUT COME ON, DID YOU THINK WAITING TO RELEASE IT THIS
SUMMER WAS GOING TO MAKE IT A YOUR BODY, HIS
CHOICE.
OUTRAGING ABOUT THE LEAK IS SENATE MINORITY LEADER AND LEAD
SINGER FOR "HOOTIE AND THE BLOBFISH,"
THERE YOU GO. I THOUGHT IT WAS DARIUS.
NO? MITCH McCONNELL.
YESTERDAY, A REPORTER GAVE McCONNELL THE OBVIOUS CREDIT FOR
THE DECISION, BUT HE WAS
>> YOU SPENT DECADES TRYING TO REMAKE THE COURT, OVERTURN
"ROE." YOU'RE POSSIBLY SINGLEHANDEDLY
RESPONSIBLE FOR THE 6-3 MAJORITY.
SO DO YOU TAKE PERSONAL CREDIT FOR ABORTION RIGHTS LIKELY TO GO
AWAY FOR MILLIONS OF PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY?
>> YOU KNOW, I THINK THE STORY TODAY IS AN EFFORT BY SOMEONE ON
THE INSIDE TO DISCREDIT THE INSTITUTION OF THE SENATE.
>> COME ON! YOUR INGENIOUS PLOT WORKED.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO CELEBRATE? IT'S LIKE A BOND VILLAIN SAYING,
"YES, I DID LAUNCH A SPACE-BASED LASER FROM MY VOLCANIC FORTRESS,
BUT GIVING ME CREDIT FOR INCINERATING LONDON IS JUST AN
EFFORT TO DISCREDIT MY FLUFFY, WHITE CAT."
4R5U6 LAUGH "ISN'T THAT RIGHT, SNUGGLES."
STAY!
VERY OBEDIENT.
>> ALL OF THIS PUTS THE CART
BEFORE THE HORSE. YOU NEED, IT SEEMS TO ME--
EXCUSE THE LECTURE-- TO CONCENTRATE ON WHAT THE NEWS IS
TODAY, NOT A LEAKED DRAFT, BUT THE FACT THAT THE DRAFT WAS
LEAKED.
MITCH, IS EVERYTHING OKAY IN THE OLD SQUIRREL CAGE?
YOU BEEN SNACKIN' ON PAINT CHIPS?
BECAUSE YOU'RE IGNORING THE IMPORTANT PART.
YOU'RE LIKE A HUSBAND GETTING A
"OH, MY GOD! LOOK AT ALL THE LETTERS THEY CUT
OUT OF A MAGAZINE. THEY'VE RUINED MY COLLECTION OF
"NATIONAL GEOGRAPHICS"! MARGARET, MARGARET, COME AND SEE
THIS! OH, MARGARET'S MISSING."
>> THAT'S WHAT THE NOTE SAYS, SHE'S MISSING.
>> AND VERY EXPENSIVE.
McCONNELL IS NOT ALONE. THERE WAS ALSO OUTCRY FROM SOUTH
CAROLINA SENATOR AND NEWEST MEMBER OF "HOOTIE AND THE
BLOBFISH," LINDSEY GRAHAM.
>> WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COURT TODAY WAS THE SADDEST CHAPTER IN
THE HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT.
>> "THE SADDEST CHAPTER"?
SO, SENATOR GRAHAM IS COOL WITH THE "DRED SCOTT" DECISION THAT
SAID BLACK PEOPLE ARE PROPERTY, "PLESSY V. FERGUSON" THAT
ESTABLISHED JIM CROW SEGREGATION, AND "BUCK V.
BELL," WHICH SAID IT WAS OKAY TO STERILIZE THE MENTALLY ILL.
I'M GUESSING, TO LINDSAY GRAHAM, THE SADDEST PART OF A FUNERAL IS
WHEN THEY RUN OUT OF LEMON BARS. AS USUAL, FOX NEWS WAS COMMITTED
TO NOT REPORTING THE NEWS AND INSTEAD REPORTING SPIN THE
LEAKED DRAFT INTO A WIN FOR DEMOCRATS.
>> THIS IS A GODSEND FOR A LOT OF DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES.
>> DEMOCRATS CLEARLY USING THIS FOR THE MIDTERMS.
THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT INFLATION.
THEY WANT TO TALK ABORTION. >> IT'S VERY CURIOUS TO ME THAT
THE DEMOCRATS WEREN'T TALKING ABOUT IT UNTIL TODAY.
>> YEAH, TYPICALLY, PEOPLE WAIT UNTIL SOMETHING
HAPPENS TO TALK ABOUT IT.
COMPLAINING ABOUT ICEBERGS WHEN THEY LEFT THE HARBOR.
BUT, THEN ABOUT HALFWAY THROUGH, IT WAS, "ICEBERG DEAD AHEAD"
THIS, AND "NEVER LET GO... GLUG, GLUG, GLUG" THAT.
ONE REPUBLICAN TOOK A BREAK FROM
ATTACKING THE LEAKER TO VILIFY WOMEN INSTEAD.
I'M TALKING ABOUT FLORIDA REPUBLICAN AND SUBWAY RIDER
CHEERING ON THE MASTURBATOR, MATT GAETZ.
IN RESPONSE TO THE NATIONWIDE PROTESTS, THIS MORNING, GAETZ
TWEETED, "HOW MANY OF THE WOMEN RALLYING AGAINST OVERTURNING
"ROE" ARE OVER-EDUCATED, UNDER-LOVED MILLENNIALS WHO
SADLY RETURN FROM PROTESTS TO A LONELY MICROWAVE DINNER WITH
THEIR CATS AND NO BUMBLE MATCHES?"
NOW, FOLKS, IF THAT STATEMENT SOUNDS INSANE, FOR
MATT GAETZ, OVER-EDUCATED IS ANY WOMAN WHO'S ALREADY GRADUATED
HIGH SCHOOL.
NOT MEANWHILE. WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON.
OVER IN THE PANDEMIC, COVID-19 CASES AND HOSPITALIZATIONS ARE
RISING AGAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
HOW MANY COMEBACKS DOES COVID GET?
IT'S THE MEL GIBSON OF VIRUSES.
WASHINGTON, MISSISSIPPI, GEORGIA, MAINE, HAWAII, SOUTH
DAKOTA, NEVADA, AND MONTANA. COME ON!
HOW DOES IT POSSIBLY SPREAD FROM PERSON TO PERSON IN MONTANA?
EVERY PERSON IS 20 MILES APART TO GIVE SOMEONE COVID, YOU HAVE
TO LICK A PRAIRIE DOG AND THROW IT THROUGH THE WINDOW OF A
HOMESTEAD.
I BELIEVE-- I BELIEVE THEY STILL HOMESTEAD THERE, RIGHT?
MONTANA STILL HAS CABINS. THE RISE IN CASES CAN BE BLAMED
ON NEWER, FITTER DESCENDANTS OF THE OMICRON VARIANT.
COME ON, OMICRON. WE BROKE UP WITH YOU, AND NOW
YOU'RE GETTING FITTER? I HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE ABS, OR IN
A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS, WE MIGHT HOOK UP AGAIN.
ROUNDS IS A SPINOFF OF OMICRON'S
BA.2 SUBVARIANT, CALLED B2.12.1.
EVIDENTLY, THE W.H.O. RAN OUT OF GREEK LETTERS, SO NOW THEY'RE
JUST USING THE PASSWORD THAT
WE RAN THE TESTS AND,
UNFORTUNATELY, YOU'RE POSITIVE FOR LOWER CASE B, AMPERSAND, 5,
6, CAPITAL Z AS IN ZAVID, 9,2,9, UNDERSCORE-NETGEAR, AND
THEN A CAPITAL "O," OR A ZERO. THERE'S NO WAY OF KNOWING."
OFF AGAIN IS OUR NATION'S CAPITAL.
ONE PLACE WHERE COVID IS TAKING OFF AGAIN IS OUR NATION'S
CAPITAL. A BUNCH OF FOLKS TESTED POSITIVE
AFTER ATTENDING THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS' DINNER,
INCLUDING ABC NEWS' CHIEF WASHINGTON CORRESPONDENT,
JONATHAN KARL, WHICH IS PARTICULARLY WORRISOME, BECAUSE
AT THE DINNER, KARL SHOOK HANDS WITH PRESIDENT BIDEN-- A STORY
THAT POLITICO REPORTED AS "JONATHAN KARL TESTS POSITIVE
FOR COVID AFTER SITTING NEXT TO KIM KARDASHIAN."
WELL, OF COURSE THAT'S THEIR LEDE.
YOU WANT THE PRESIDENT TO BE HEALTHY, BUT COME ON, WE'VE HAD
45 OF THOSE GUYS. THERE'S ONLY ONE FOUNDER OF
SKIMS SHAPEWEAR. I'M WEARING ONE RIGHT NOW.
EVEN WORSE, THE DINNER WAS
SATURDAY, AND ON MONDAY, KIM WENT TO THE MET GALA, WHICH-- I
DON'T THINK I NEED TO REMIND YOU-- WAS ATTENDED BY ALL OF THE
KARDASHIANS FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.
THANKS A LOT, JONATHAN KARL. YOU MAY HAVE JUST KNOCKED OUT
OUR ENTIRE NATIONAL KARDASHIAN RESERVE.
THE HILTONS?
DO THEY EVEN MAKE A LIP KIT?
AFTER ATTENDING THE DINNER, SECRETARY OF STATE ANTONY
BLINKEN TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID.
NOW, MAYBE I'M OUT OVER MY SKIS HERE, BUT I'M STARTING TO THINK
THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE SERVED DINNER "LADY AND THE TRAMP"
STYLE.
TONIGHT. MY GUESTS ARE GLENN CLOSE AND
SHERYL CROW. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, MY WIFE,
EVIE, AND I HAVE SOME FIRST DRAFTS OF MOTHER'S DAY CARDS.
EVERYBODY. GIVE IT UP FOR JON BATISTE AND
STAY HUMAN. HOW WE DOING OVER THERE?
HOW WE DOING? JON.
DO YOU KNOW WHO WE'VE GOT ON
TONIGHT, JON, AND THIS IS A JOY FOR ME, BECAUSE I LOVE BOTH OF
THESE WOMEN. TWO VERY POWERFUL WOMEN, GLENN
CLOSE AND SHERYL CROW ARE ON THIS EVENING.
HAVE YOU DONE STUFF-- HAVE YOU DONE STUFF CAN SHERYL?
>> WE'VE HUNG OUT BEFORE, NEVER DONE MUSIC TOGETHER.
GLENN WAS AT THE MET BALL AND WE GOT TO SING TOGETHER.
>> YOU GOT TO SING WITH HER?
>> - YES. >> - SHE WAS REPLENDANT
IN PINK. YOU COULD SEE HER FROM THE
INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION. VERY BEAUTIFUL.
WELL, FOLKS, SPRING IS HERE, AND WITH IT, THAT LITTLE ICE CHIP IN
YOUR HEART TELLING YOU, YOU FORGOT SOMETHING THAT YOU WERE
SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER ABOUT THIS SUNDAY, WHICH CAN ONLY MEAN ONE
IT'S MOTHER'S DAY. NOW, THERE ARE PLENTY OF
MOTHER'S DAY CARDS OUT THERE TO CHOOSE FROM, BUT THEY DON'T ALL
GET IT RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. SO TONIGHT, WE'LL TAKE A LOOK AT
SOME OF THE EARLY ATTEMPTS IN OUR SEGMENT "FIRST DRAFTS."
. AS ALWAYS, I'LL NEED SOME HELP
FROM MY FAVORITE GUEST OF ALL TIME AND MY FAVORITE MOTHER, MY
WIFE, EVIE. EVIE!
DARLING!
>> HI! >> YOU LOOK
BEAUTIFUL. >> THANK YOU!
>> LOVE THE NECKLACE. PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.
>> DID I GET LIPSTICK ON YOU. >> DID I?
DID YOU-- >> DID I GET LIPSTICK ON YOU?
>> DARLING THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> MY PLEASURE. >> HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
AHEAD OF TIME. >> THANK YOU.
>> I GOT YOU A MIMOSA.
>> VITAMIN "C" BECAUSE OF YOUR COLD.
.>> IT'S NOT A COLD. I HAVE ALLERGIES, REMEMBER?
>> OH, RIGHT. >> DARLING, FOR THOSE
OF YOU AT HOME WHO ARE PLAYING OUR HOME GAME, LET ME EXPLAIN
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE. YOU KNOW, SH--
>> I'M A PRO. >> IF YOU HOLD THE
CARDS RIGHT THERE, WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IF YOU'LL GIVE ME THE
TOP CARD-- AND HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE TOP CARD?
>> NICE, FRIENDLY. >> THE ONE YOU WOULD
BUY. >> SAFE.
>> AND THE SECOND CARD WOULD BE WHAT?
>> SOMETIMES OFFENSIVE. >> THE FIRST DRAFT,
THE FIRST DRAFT OF THAT CARD THAT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO SELL.
>> SOMETIMES OFFENSIVE. >> SOMETIMES
OFFENSIVE. COULD I PLEASE-- COULD I PLEASE
HAVE THE FIRST CARD? >> YES, YOU MAY.
THIS ONE IS FOR THE NEW MOMS. IT SAYS, "I LOVE YOU.
HAPPY FIRST MOTHER'S DAY TO MY WIFE.
WATCHING YOU BECOME A MOTHER HAS BEEN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
EXPERIENCE. I LOVE YOU."
OH! >> STHANT THAT
LOVELY? >> THAT IS SO SWEET!
>> WOULDN'T YOU LOVE TO GET THAT ONE?
BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID, "HAPPY FIRST MOTHER'S DAY TO MY WIFE.
WATCHING YOU BECOME A MOTHER WAS ONE OF THE MOST TERRIFYING
EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE. AND THEN YOU JUST WALKED AROUND
LIKE AN HOUR LATER? I FEAR YOU."
THAT'S TRUE. THAT'S TRUE.
>> THAT'S TRUE. >> BECAUSE
>> THAT'S TRUE.
>> IT IS-- IT IS SCARY BUSINESS.
>> DON'T MESS WITH US WOMEN AFTER HE HAVE BABY S.
>> ABSOLUTELY NOT. I REMEMBER WHEN OUR ELDEST WAS
BORN, OUR DAUGHTER, WE HAD THIS PLAN TO BRING IN, LIKE, "I
BROUGHT IN A LITTLE CD PLAYER AND MINI-SPEAKERS AND WE'RE
GOING TO LISTEN TO WHALE NOISES AND THE SOUND OF THE SEA.
AND I TURNED IT ON, AND ABOUT FIVE MINUTES LATER YOU SAID,
TURN THAT OFF. TRUE STORY.
>> IT'S TRUE. >> HERE'S THE SECOND
THING I REMEMBER ABOUT THAT. >> I DON'T KNOW IF WE WANT TO
TALK ABOUT THAT. >> YOU WERE DOING A
GREAT JOB. >> I DID A GREAT JOB!
>> OF COURSE, YOU WERE DOING A GREAT JOB.
AND YOU WERE LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT, GIVE ME AN EPIDURAL."
>> THE FIRST TIME. >> AND THEY HAD, SIR,
YOU HAVE TO LEAVE WHILE WE DO THIS.
I LEFT, WENT DOWN TO THE McDONALD'S IN THE LOBBY OF THE
HOSPITAL, GOT MYSELF A COFFEE AND HASHBROWNS, CAME BACK UP,
AND YOU WERE LIKE, "WEEE! I'M READY TO RUN THE NEW YORK
MARATHON." >> DRUGS.
>> DRUGS AND KNIVES. THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GOING WITH.
>> THIS IS A SWEET ONE. >> THESE ARE REALLY SWEET.
THE FIRST DRAFTS ARE VERY GOOD. >> THAT'S WHY THEY
SELL THEM. >>
>> THAT TRACKS.
>> WE KNOW. WHAT HARM COULD ONE GLASS OF
WINE DO? IT WILL MAKE THE BABY SLEEP.
>> EXACTLY! SHHH!
>> SHHH! THEY'RE TOO OLD, THEY CAN'T SUE
AT THIS POINT. >> THESE KIDS DON'T DO THAT
ANYMORE. >> THEY DON'T?
>> NO. >> REALLY?
>> I THINK WOMEN DON'T EVEN HAVE A GLASS OF WINE ANYMORE.
I KNOW, THEIR LOSS. >> IT REALLY IS.
>> ONE GLASS OF WINE, I MEAN... >> HERE'S A "STAR WARS" THEMED
ONE. >> ISN'T TODAY "MAY THE 4th
BE WITH YOU?" >> IT IS.
>> I KNEW THAT. >> BECAUSE YOU'RE
YOUNG AND HIP. THAT'S WHY.
>> BECAUSE I'M MARRIED TO A NERD.
>>THAT'S SCANDALOUS.
THAT IS SCANDALOUS. >> SEE, THAT ONE IS A NO.
>> YOU CAN'T SELL THIS.
>> THANK GOD, THANK GOD. >> MAY I HAVE THE
NEXT CARD? >> YES.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
IS THIS A SHOW DRESS OR YOUR DRESS?
>> I'M NOT TELLING. >> OKAY.
BECAUSE IF IT'S THE SHOW DRESS LET'S BUY IT AND MAKE IT YOURS
BECAUSE YOU LOOK LOVELY. >> THANK YOU.
>> HOW ABOUT THE NECKLACE?
>> NO, THIS IS -- >> YOU LIKE COMING
HERE-- >> THE SHOES ARE MINE.
DOES THAT COUNT. >> HERE'S ONE THAT
THE SPOT HERE FOR JUST A SECOND? >> YES.
>> ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAY ABOUT YOUR LOVELY MOM
HERE? >> OH, YES.
MY MOM TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE AN AUTHENTIC PERSON AND THINK FOR
MYSELF AND BELIEVE IN MYSELF. THANK YOU, MOM.
I LOVE YOU. .
>> THIS IS THE LAST ONE.
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT FOR MOTHER'S DAY?
GIVE ME A HINT. >> I ASK FOR THE SAME THING
EVERY YEAR. WHAT IS IT?
>> YOU WANT TO HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE AND THE NEWSPAPER
IN BED. NOT EVEN BREAKFAST.
YOU JUST WANT A HOT CUP OF COFFEE--
>> I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE THE FIRST PERSON UP.
>> YOU WANT TO SLEEP IN.
>> I CAN'T EVEN SLEEP IN ANYMORE.
JUST NOT THE FIRST PERSON-- YOU MAKE THE COFFEE.
>> I'LL GIVE THE COFFEE TO THE DOG.
>> AND THE DOG WILL BRING IT UP. >> THIS IS PEPPY.
- THAT'S NICE.
>> I JUST DID THAT!
>> EVIE MAGEE, EVERYBODY!
THE BEST MOM EVER. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH GLENN
CLOSE. W
WELCOME BACK.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST THIS EVENING IS AN EMMY
AND TONY AWARD-WINNING ACTRESS YOU KNOW FROM "FATAL
ATTRACTION," "GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY," AND "THE WIFE."
SHE NOW GUEST STARS IN SEASON TWO OF THE ISRAELI SPY SERIES
"TEHRAN." PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE
SHOW," GLENN CLOSE!
>> HELLO. >> NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN. >> SHALOM.
>> YOU WERE AT THE MET GALA MONDAY NIGHT.
>> YES. >> YOUR OUTFIT WAS
ABSOLUTELY EXTRAORDINARY. WHO ARE YOU WEARING HERE?
>> VALENTINO. >> THAT IS BEAUTIFUL.
JON, YOU LIKE TO ROCK A CAPE. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE CAPE
WORK? >> I LIKE THE CAPE WORK A
LOT. >> YOU GUYS WERE
HANGING OUT THAT NIGHT, RIGHT? >> WE WERE, WE WERE AT THE SAME
TABLE. AND JON BATISTE, YOU WERE
PLAYING WITH SOME FABULOUS MUSICIANS UPON.
WERE THEY FROM NEW ORLEANS? >> JOE WAS THERE, AND WE
HAD MEMBERS OF THE SIOUX TRIBE. >> OH, YES.
THERE THEY ARE!
OH, FANTASTIC! THEY HAD EVERYBODY-- EVERYBODY
JIVING. >> ALL RIGHT, FROM
FIRST MET GALA, LET'S GO TO YOUR FIRST MOVIE.
I JUST FOUND OUT-- I DID NOT KNOW THIS, OF COURSE I KNEW YOU
WERE IN THIS MOVIE-- BUT YOUR FIRST MOVIE EVER WAS "WORLD
ACCORDING TO GARP." >> YES.
>> WHAT A HUGE MOVIE TO MAKE THAT YOUR FIRST ONE.
WAS THAT THE PLAN TO BE A MOVIE STAR?
>> NO, I JUST WANTED TO ACT. I WANTED TO BE OTHER PEOPLE.
I STARTED ON STAGE. I WAS ON STAGE SIX YEARS.
I WAS CAST OUT OF BARNUM. GEORGE HILL SAW ME UP IN MY
BALCONY KIND OF CROCHETING AND HE THOUGHT I HAD A STILLNESS
ABOUT ME THAT HE LIKED. >> WHAT WAS THAT
LIKE? WHAT WAS THAT FIRST EXPERIENCE
ON A FILM SET? >> WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I
DIDN'T KNOW. WE WENT UP EARLY TO REHEARSE
WITH HUE CRONIN AND JESSICA TANDY.
AND I WAS SHOWN THE HOUSE AND IN THE SCRIPT, IT WAS A HOUSE WITH
A FAMILY GRAVEYARD, AND I SAW THE HOUSE, AND I SAW THIS
GRAVEYARD. AND I THOUGHT, THEY FOUND A
HOUSE WITH A GRAVEYARD?
AND THEN I WAS TAKEN OVER TO THE GRAVEYARD, AND REALIZED THAT IT
WAS STYROFOAM.
PUT THESE STYROFOAM THINGS -- >> DID YOU HAVE A
SENSE THAT, LIKE, IN THE THEATER YOU KNOW EVERYTHING IS FAKE, BUT
AT LEAST IN MOVIES EVERYTHING IS REAL.
>> THAT'S RIGHT. I THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS REAL.
>> WOW, IT'S LIKE FINDING OUT SANTA CLAUS IS
STYROFOAM. >> IT WAS.
>> I UNDERSTAND ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES IS MAYBE
MY FAVORITE ALL-TIME MOVIE, AND MAYBE ONE OF MY ALL-TIME
FAVORITE PLAYS, WHICH IS "A MAN FOR ALL SEASON."
WHICH IS EXTRAORDINARY AND A WONDERFUL MESSAGE FOR TODAY,
ABOUT SOMEONE IN POLITICAL LIFE ACTUALLY HAVING A SPINE.
>> YES. >> AND IT COST HIM
HIS HEAD, BUT AT LEAST HE KEEPS THE REST OF HIS SPINE.
WHAT IS IT THAT APPEALS TO YOU ABOUT IT?
>> I THINK IT'S THAT. I THINK IT'S ABOUT A MAN WHO
ENDS UP GIVING HIS LIFE BECAUSE HE REFUSES TO GO AGAINST HIS
PRINCIPLE S. >> THE STORY, FOR
PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW, SIR THOMAS MOORE, WHO BECOMES SAINT
THOMAS MOORE, THE CHANCELLOR AND FRIEND OF HENRY VIII.
HE WILL NOT BEND TO THE MARRIAGE AND GETTING RID OF KATHRYN AND
BRING ON ANNE BOLIN. AND HE WON'T BE QUIET.
>> HE HAS A WONDERFUL SPEECH, IN LAW, IF YOU DON'T SAY SOMETHING,
THAT MEANS YOU CONSENT. YOU CANNOT SAY ANYTHING YOU YOU
TAKE IT THAT IT'S MOON CONSENT. AND HE SAID NO, YOU HAVE TO SAY
IT OUT LOUD. >> IF HE WILL NOT SAY
THE LIE, THEY ASSUME HE IS REFUTING IT.
>> "WON'T SAY THE LIE." IT'S SO RELEVANT TODAY.
AND WE CAN ASK OURSELVES HOW FAR WILL WE GO WITH OUR PRINCIPLES,
YOU KNOW? HOW THREATENED DO WE HAVE TO BE
TO GO BACK ON WHAT WE THINK PERSONALLY IS THE RIGHT THING TO
DO? AND I THINK THAT'S SOMETHING ALL
OF US SHOULD ASK OURSELVES. >> AS HE SAYS TO HIS
FRIEND NORFOLK, IS THERE NO PART OF YOU-- HE SAYS TO HIS FRIEND,
ANOTHER POLITICIAN, IS THERE NO PART OF YOU THAT IS NOT JUST
APPETITE. SOME PLACE FROM WHICH YOU CANNOT
RETREAT. THAT SEEMS LIKE WATER IN THE
DESERT. I UNDERSTAND YOU MET THE ACTOR
WHO PLAYED THOMAS MOORE. >> HE WAS A GREAT ACTOR.
HE PLAYED "HAMLET" THE GHOST OF HAMLET'S FATHER, THAT I DID WITH
MEL GIBSON. >> "LETHAL HAMLET."
I SAW THAT. >> THE FIRST TIME I SAW PAUL
SCHOFIELD, WE WERE GETTING READY FOR A READING, AND IN WALKED
THIS MAN TALL, WITH HAIR MY COLOR, AND A BRIGHT RED CASHMERE
SCARF. AND HE HAD SUCH INCREDIBLE
PRESENCE, AND, YET, THOSE ACTORS GAVE MEL GIBSON, YOU KNOW, THEY
SAID, "NOW IT'S YOUR TURN. WE'VE ALL DONE IT.
NOW IT'S YOUR TURN." THEY GAVE HIM RESPECT.
AND ON THE SET, MEL TOLD ME THAT THE T TIMBER IN SCHOFIELD'S VOIE
BROUGHT TEARS TO HIS EYES IN EVERY SINGLE TAKE.
IT WAS AS IF HE HAD HIS OWN MIC IN HIS CHEST, AND HE WAS A
LOVELY, BEAUTIFUL MAN, AND A GREAT ACTOR.
>> WELL, I STEPPED ON A BABY'S FINGER TO HAVE EVER MET
HIM, SO I'M JEALOUS OF YOU. >> I KNOW.
>> WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.
WHEN WE COME BACK, I WILL ASK GLENN ABOUT HAVING TO LEARN A
LITTLE FARSI FOR HER NEW PART. STICK AROUND.
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH GLENN CLOSE.
YOU'RE GUEST STARRING IN SEASON TWO OF THE ISRAELI SPY DRAMA
SERIES "TEHRAN." AND WHAT IS THE SHOW ABOUT, FOR
THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW? AND WHO DO YOU PLAY?
>> THE SHOW IS ABOUT A YOUNG FEMALE MOSSAD AGENT WHO WAS
INITIALLY SENT TO TEHRAN TO HACK THEIR SYSTEM BECAUSE WE WANT TO
PREVENT THEM FROM GETTING A NUCLEAR WEAPON.
AND SHE'S PLAYED BEAUTIFULLY BY A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG ISRAELI
ACTRESS, NIV SULTAN. AND I'M IN THE SECOND SEASON.
I HAVE BEEN-- I AM AN IRANIAN CITIZEN.
I HAVE CONVERTED TO MASHIA. MY HUSBAND WAS IRANIAN.
BOTH OF US ARE PSYCHIATRISTS. AND THE PROGRESSION OF POLITICS
AND HISTORY HAVE MADE ME ACT IN A WAY THAT I THINK IS THE RIGHT
THING TO DO. >> WE HAVE A CLIP
RIGHT HERE. CAN YOU TELL US WHAT'S ABOUT TO
HAPPEN? IT'S YOU AND--
>> THIS IS ACTUALLY THE FIRST SCENE THAT NIV AND I SHOT
TOGETHER, THE FIRST SCENE THAT I DID-- WE SHOT IT IN ATHENS.
AND THE FIRST TIME I SPOKE FARSI ON SCREEN.
>> JIM.
>> GIVE ME YOUR HAND. TRUST ME.
FOLLOW THAT HOLE ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE END, EVEN IF IT
LOOKS LIKE IT LEADS TO NOWHERE. LOOK FOR A GREEN LIGHT.
THERE WILL BE A DOOR. >> WHERE WILL IT TAKE ME?
>> WHEREVER YOU WANT IT TO TAKE YOU.
EXCITING. BUT, I DON'T KNOW-- I DON'T KNOW
A DROP OF FARSI. I KNOW A LITTLE BIT OF A LOT OF
DIFFERENT LANGUAGES. HOW DIFFICULT WAS IT TO LEARN?
>> IT WAS A GREAT CHALLENGE. IT WAS A GREAT CHALLENGE.
IT HAS DIFFERENT SENTENCE STRUCTURE THAN ENGLISH.
IT'S LIKE GERMAN. THE VERB IS AT THE END.
AND IT'S THE SKHOMA. AND I BROUGHT THIS BECAUSE YOU
CAN SAY YOU KNOW IT, BUT THEN WHEN YOU HAVE A BIG CROWD IN
FRONT OF YOU-- SO I'M-- I THOUGHT...
SHOMAR.
"YOU ARE VERY FUNNY."
SIGN THAT, I'LL HAVE THAT FRAMED.
GLENN, IT WAS LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> LOVELY TO SEE YOU. >> SEASON TWO OF
"TEHRAN" PREMIERES THIS FRIDAY ON APPLETV+.
IT'S GLENN CLOSE, EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SHERYL
CROW.
>> THERE YOU GO.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE? HEY, EVERYBODY!
MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT IS A NINE-TIME GRAMMY
AWARD-WINNING SINGER AND SONGWRITER WHO HAS SOLD MORE
THAN 50 MILLION ALBUMS WORLDWIDE.
SHE IS NOW THE SUBJECT OF A DOCUMENTARY ON SHOWTIME CALLED
"SHERYL." >> WE WOULD DRINK A BUNCH, AND
WE'D GO TO THE BOOKSTORE DOWN THE ROAD, AND WE BOUGHT A POETRY
BOOK BY THIS MAN NAMED WIN COOPER.
AND THERE WAS A POEM CALLED "FUN."
IT STARTED, "ALL I WANT TO DO IS HAVE A LITTLE FUN BEFORE I DIE."
WE HAD THIS GROUP GOING THAT WAS SOMEWHERE BETWEEN STEELER'S
WHEEL AND A MARVIN GAY TRACK. AND I PICKED UP THE POETRY BOOK
AND STARTED FREE-FORM
LITTLE FUN BEFORE I DIE.
AND I JUST KIND OF ACTED OUT THE
POEM, AND WE PUT THIS HOOK IN
AND THAT BECAME THE SONG. >> PLEASE WELCOME BACK
TO "THE LATE SHOW," SHERYL CROW!
>> SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT. FIRST OF ALL, THANKS FOR BEING
HERE LAST NIGHT. YOU PLAYED WITH LUCIUS.
THAT WAS WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU OUT THERE.
>> SO AWESOME. >> LET'S GET STRAIGHT
INTO THIS DOCUMENTARY, SHERYL. >> YEAH.
>> HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT A DOCUMENTARY BEING MADE
ABOUT YOU, BECAUSE SO MUCH HAS ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN AND SAID
ABOUT SHERYL CROW. ARE YOU RESISTANT TO IT?
I'M GOING TO WATCH IT. BUT ARE YOU, AS THE SUBJECT OF
IT, EVER RESISTANT TO THAT? >> WHEN THEY FIRST CAME TO ME,
SHOWTIME AND MY MANAGER, AND SHADE, "WE THINK YOU SHOULD DO A
DOCUMENTARY." AND I SAID, "YES, I THINK WE
SHOULD, AFTER I'M DEAD. I THINK IT WOULD BE A FANTASTIC
IDEA." BUT I DID FINALLY GIVE INTO IT.
BECAUSE I DON'T THINK PEOPLE REALIZE IN-- I'VE GOTTEN MY AARP
CARD. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THAT.
>> CONGRATULATIONS. YOU CAN GET DISCOUNT MOVIE
TICKETS FOR THAT. >> I CAN SEE MY OWN DOCUMENTARY
FOR CHEAPER. I DO HAVE ABOUT 40 YEARS OF
MUSIC LIFE, BUT THERE'S A TON OF LIVING THAT GOES INTO MAKING AN
ARTIST WANT TO STICK THEIR NECK OUT, RAISE THEIR VOICE INTO THE
FRAY. AND SO I TOLD ALL THE STORIES.
>> WELL, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING THAT THERE MAY NOT
BE A STORY IN THERE. LET'S ASK A BASIC STORY, KIND OF
LIKE AN ORIGIN STORY. >> OKAY.
>> WHY DO YOU THINK YOU WANTED TO BE A PERFORMING
MUSICIAN? I TAKE THAT ASIDE FROM A
COMPOSER OR SOMETHING. WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE OUT THERE
WITH A GUITAR IN YOUR HAND? >> I WANT TO BE RICH AND FAMOUS.
I'M KIDDING. >> IT'S SUCH AN EASY
WAY-- SUCH AN EASY WAY TO GET RICH, IS WHAT I HEAR.
>> I'M GETTING READY TO GET A BUTT IMPLANT.
>> THAT'S COIN, BABY. >> THAT'S COIN.
I GREW UP IN A REAL MUSICAL HOUSEHOLD.
MY PARENTS -- >> IN MISSOURI.
>> MY PARENT STILL MARRIED 66 YEARS, s A TINY TOWN CALLED
KINET, FOUR STOP LIGHTS, NOT CLOSE TO ANYTHING.
AND ALBUMS WERE MY WAY OUT. THAT WAS MY TICKET OUT.
I WOULD LAY UNDER THE PIANO AND I WOULD STUDY AND PORE OVER
JAMES TAYLOR, ALL THE LINERRERS, FLEETWOOD MAC, CAROLE KING.
>> YOU GOT TO WORK WITH THOSE PEOPLE.
WHAT'S THAT LIKE TO GET TO WORK WITH PEOPLE LIKE STEVIE NICKS
AND BONNIE RAITT AND MASSIVE STAPLES?
>> I'M STILL A FAN. EVEN TALKING ABOUT IT, I GET
EMBARRASSED. IT'S INCREDIBLE, IT REALLY IS.
>> YOU MUST SEE THAT, TOO.
THE LOOK IN PEOPLE'S EYES WHEN THEY GET A CHANCE TO WORK WITH
SHERYL CROW. >> ALL I CAN SAY IS GETTING TO
PLAY WITH LUCIUS LAST NIGHT, AND GETTING TO WORK WITH THESE YOUNG
ARTISTS, MAN, FOR ME, THAT'S WHO I WAS.
I WAS LIKE, I COULDN'T WAIT TO MEET STEVIE NICKS.
AND THEN TO GET TO KNOW HER AND KNOW HOW GENEROUS SHE IS AND
AMAZING. AND KEITH RICHARDS AND THE
ROLLING STONES. ALL THESE PEOPLE THAT WERE SUCH
A HUGE INFLUENCE FOR ME. EVEN SMOKY ROBINSON.
PEOPLE I'VE GOTTEN TO STAND NEXT TO-- BURT BACHRACH-- PEOPLE THAT
HAVE MATTERED TO ME SO MUCH. I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN IT.
>> YOU HAVE TWO BOYS. >> I DO.
>> WISCPAT LEVI. 1 AND 14, I UNDERSTAND.
>> YOU ALL BETTER BE IN BED. IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT.
. MOM IS SHERYL CROW."
DO THEY LISTEN TO YOUR MUSIC? ARE THEY LIKE, "ALL I WANT TO DO
IS HAVE SOME FUN," "SOAK UP THE SUN."
>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THEY'RE INTO KID LeROY.
I'M SORRY, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS.
BUT THEY'RE INTO, LIKE, POPULAR MUSIC.
.>> SURE. >> AND I'M LIKE THE POLICE.
I'M THE PERSON THAT SAID -- >> NOT THE BAND THE
POLICE. YOU'RE LIKE THE COPS.
>> NO, I'M THE COP. I'M THE PERSON THAT SAYS, "THAT
IS NOT A NICE SONG. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING
ABOUT?" >> THERE ARE NO
LYRICS IN ANY OF YOUR SONGS THAT YOU WOULD PULL YOURSELF OVER
FOR? >> THEY DON'T LISTEN TO ME.
I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT THAT. THEY'RE LIKE, "MOM, YOU KNOW YOU
WERE BORN IN THE 1870s." >> DO YOU HAVE A
FAVORITE SONG OF SHERYL CROW'S? >> I DO, ACTUALLY.
AND I'M NOT JUST PUMPING THIS NEW ALBUM COMING OUT.
I WROTE A SONG CALLED "FOREVER." AND I THINK IT MAY BE OUT NOW,
OR COMING OUT ON MAY 6. I DON'T KNOW.
THEY DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING. >> THEY DON'T TELL
YOU WHEN YOUR ALBUM IS RELEASED? >> I THINK IT'S COMING OUT MAY
6. MY KID ARE IN THE VIDEO.
IT WAS WRITTEN FOR MY KIDS, AND WRITTEN FOR MY 15-YEAR-OLD
TALKING ABOUT STRESS AND HOW KIDS ARE SO STRESSED OUT NOW.
>> "ALL I WANT TO DO IS HAVE SOME FUN."
WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE SONG? >> "ALL I WANT TO DO."
>> SO THAT HITS, AND IT BECOMES, "THAT'S A GOOD
SONG." SHERYL CROW BECOMES HUGE.
IT'S SUCH AN ENORMOUS HIT. AND EVERYBODY WAS LIKE, "WHO IS
THIS GIRL DOING THIS SONG? WHAT WAS THAT LIKE, WHEN YOU
WORKED SO LONG TO FIGURE OUT HOW YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK IN, s
WHAT IS YOUR SOUND, HOW DO YOU CONNECT WITH A COMMERCIAL
AUDIENCE, AND THEN IT HAPPENS? AND THERE ARE VERY FEW PEOPLE
FOR WHOM IT HAPPENS LIKE A LIGHT SWITCH LIKE THAT.
WHAT WAS THAT MOMENT LIKE? >> IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN EUPHORIC,
BUT AT THAT TIME THERE WAS SO MUCH DEBATE ABOUT WHETHER I HAD
EVEN WRITTEN MY OWN SONGS, AND KNOW--
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM.
>> THE LORE WAS A BUNCH OF GUYS WROTE MY FIRST ALBUM.
BY THE TIME THAT TOOK OFF, THAT WAS ALREADY SWIRLING AROUND.
BUT I WILL SAY ONE THING, WHEN IT REALLY HIT, THE GRAMMYS PUT
ME ON THE MAP. BECAUSE THE GRAMMYS, BACK THEN,
EVERYBODY WATCHED IT. AND YOU SOLD-- YOU SOLD RECORDS
FROM THAT SHOW, YOU KNOW. AND IT PUT YOU ON THE MAP.
AND IT WAS A REAL MOMENT. BUT IT DEFINITELY WAS-- IT WAS A
MIXED BAG. IT WAS... IT WAS HARD.
>> WELL, MY FAVORITE GRAMMY MEMORY OF ALL TIME-- AND,
YES, I HAVE AGREEMENT MEMORIES-- IS THE NIGHT BEFORE, THE CLIVE
DAVIS PARTY THAT'S TRADITIONALLY THE NIGHT BEFORE.
DID YOU GO TO THE CLIVE PARTY? >> YEAH.
>> IT'S FUN, ISN'T IT?
>> IT'S A GOOD TIME. >> TALKING ABOUT
PEOPLE WHO BLOW UP AT THE FRAM GRAMMYS RIGHT OVER THERE.
>> IT'S MY FIRST TIME
OUT THERE. MY FIRST TIME OUT THERE.
I'M JUST NOMINATED FOR, LIKE, A COMEDY ALBUM.
AND CLIVE DAVIS GETS UP THERE WITH THE BIG GLASSES AND THE
HEAD AND GOES, "WE HAVE A WONDERFUL ARTIST HERE TONIGHT.
SHE'S AMAZING. ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS HAVE SOME
FUN. SHERYL CROW IS HERE TONIGHT."
AND HE DOES THE WHOLE ROOM. "BARBRA STREISAND, GREATEST
VOICE OF A GENERATION." AND I WENT WITH MY 14-YEAR-OLD
DAUGHTER AND I SIT WITH SHERYL CROW.
>> IT'S IN THE DOCUMENTARY! >> I THINK THAT'S THE
FIRST TIME WE MET. >> IT'S THE FIRST TIME WE MET.
>> AND YOU WERE SO NICE TO MY 14-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER,
AND JON BON JOVI WAS SITTING ON THE SIDE OF YOU AND OVER HERE ON
THE OTHER SIDE OF MY DAUGHTER WAS RICHIE SAMBORA.
THEY USED TO SAY MY FIRST PROM DATE WAS RICHIE SAMBORA.
HE'S WEARING A TUX, AND SHE'S WEARING A BLUE DRESS.
>> DID YOU GET A PICTURE? >> I DID, IT WAS
CREEPY. SHERYL, THANK YOU FOR BEING
HERE. THANK YOU FOR LAST NIGHT AND
TONIGHT. ANY TIME.
>> MY PLEASURE >> THE DOCUMENTARY
"SHERYL" AIRS FRIDAY ON SHOWTIME.
SHERYL CROW, EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> THAT'S IT FOR "THE
LATE SHOW." TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE MATT WALSH AND I GIVE DANIEL CRAIG THE
COLBERT QUESTIONERT. JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT