>> THE NEW "MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE" MOVIE IS FINALLY ABOUT
TO BEGIN SHOOTING, AND IT HAS FOUND ITS HE-MAN.
"WEST SIDE STORY" STAR KYLE ALLEN WILL PLAY HE-MAN IN THE
NEW MOVIE.
>> IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
PLUS,-
CHRIS O'DONNELL AND ELVIS COSTELLO TAKES THE
COLBERT QUESTIONERT.
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
HELLO, MY FRIENDS. WHAT'S UP?
GOOD TO SEE YOU. PLEASE, SIT DOWN.
SIT! DOWN!
WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW." I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
FIRST OF ALL,--
YOU KNOW WHAT? HAPPY FRIDAY TO EVERYBODY HERE.
IS I HOPE YOU'RE ALL DOING WELL.
AFTER MY TUSSLE WITH COVID A
COUPLE OF WEEKS BACK. IT'S GOT A LOCK TAME ON IT.
BUT THE VIRUS IS STILL OUT THERE.
JON BATISTE IS NOT HERE AGAIN TONIGHT BECAUSE
HE'S CAUGHT COVID. WE WISH HIM ALL THE BEST AND A
SPEEDY RECOVERY. LOVE JON, RIGHT?
THERE YOU GO. LUCKILY, STAY HUMAN'S OWN
LOUIS CATO HAS STEPPED IN. GIVE IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO, RIGHT
OVER THERE. ALL RIGHT.
. AND WHEN LOUIS IS NOT ON CAMERA,
WE SEAL HIM IN TUPPERWARE, JUST TO KEEP HIM FRESH.
WE HAVE TO AT THIS POINT. WE'LL POKE SOME AIR HOLES.
BUT DESPITE THE COVID OF IT ALL, THE WORLD IS OPENING UP.
FOR EXAMPLE, OVER IN GERMANY, AFTER BEING CANCELLED FOR THE
PAST TWO YEARS, OKTOBERFEST WILL GO AHEAD IN 2022.
GOOD!
I AM GLAD TO HEAR THAT. BECAUSE AFTER TWO YEARS OF
PANDEMIC, MY BODY IS FIT ONLY FOR LEDERHOSEN.
THE BEER FESTIVAL IS GOING ALL OUT FOR THEIR FIRST YEAR BACK.
ATTENDEES WILL GET TO SWIG BEER AND EAT SAUSAGES, PRETZEL, AND
PRK KNUCKLES. AS MUNICH'S MAYOR SAID, "THERE
WILL BE AN UNRESTRICTED FESTIVAL, WHICH WILL HOPEFULLY
GIVE A LOT OF PEOPLE A LOT OF PLEASURE."
THAT'S ACTUALLY MUNICH'S TOWN - "- OUR SAUSAGES
WILL GIVE YOU PLEASURE!"
IT SOUNDS-- IT SOUNDS LESS SEXY IN GERMAN.
IT'S ALL ONE WORD. KNOCKWURST-SEXEN-MACHEN-GE-BRING
EN. IT'S NOT JUST OKTOBERFEST.
AFTER PANDEMIC UPHEAVALS, TOMORROW WILL SEE A RETURN TO
WHAT'S BEING CALLED A "NORMAL KENTUCKY DERBY."
SO, TINY MEN ON GIANT HORSES BEING SCREAMED AT BY DRUNK WOMEN
IN ENORMOUS HATS. YOU KNOW, NORMAL.
HAVE A PRE-PANDEMIC FEEL, JUST WITH MORE PEOPLE ASKING THE
JOCKEYS, "PSST, CAN YOU SCORE ME SOME HORSE PASTE?
IF BEER AND HORSES AREN'T YOUR THING, YOU COULD TAKE A BEACH
VACAY, BECAUSE WITH THE SUMMER SEASON COMING UP, GREECE HAS
LIFTED IT'S COVID CURBS FOR TRAVELERS, WHICH IS GREAT NEWS
FOR ANY BRIDES WHO WANT TO INVITE THREE MEN TO HER WEDDING
IN GREECE TO FIGURE OUT WHICH OF THEM IS HER REAL FATHER.
NOW, HERE IN THE STATES, COVID
RESTRICTIONS AREN'T THE ONLY THINGS BEING REMOVED, BECAUSE
NANTUCKET RESIDENTS HAVE VOTED TO MAKE ALL BEACHES TOPLESS.
IT'S JUST LIKE THE FAMOUS
"THERE ONCE WAS A GAL FROM NANTUCKET, WHO SAID OF HER
SHIRT, 'I'LL UNTUCK IT.' THEN SHE TOOK OFF HER BRA,
WHILE SINGING TA-DAH, AND SAID, 'IF YOU'RE MAD YOU CAN SUCK
IT.'"
BUT... BUT JUST BECAUSE THINGS ARE
OPENING UP DOESN'T MEAN COVID ISN'T STILL SERIOUS.
RESEARCHERS HAVE RECENTLY ANNOUNCED THAT SEVERE COVID CAN
AGE THE BRAIN BY 20 YEARS. NOW, IF YOU'RE WONDERING, ONE
SIGN THAT YOUR BRAIN HAS AGED 20 YEARS.
YOU'VE RECENTLY STARTED WATCHING CBS.
WELCOME. DRINK PLENTY OF
FLUIDS, WATCH PLENTY OF "BLUE BLOODS."
CASE OF COVID-19 CAN RESULT IN A
LOSS OF MENTAL SHARPNESS EQUIVALENT TO LOSING 10 I.Q.
POINTS. AND PEOPLE WHO CHOSE NOT TO GET
VACCINATED CAN'T AFFORD THOSE 10 POINTS.
IN DEVASTATING NEWS--
IN DEVASTATING NEWS FOR PEOPLE
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE STUCK TALKING TO AT A PARTY, N.F.T.
SALES ARE FLAT-LINING. BUT WHY?
THEY SEEM LIKE SUCH A SOUND INVESTMENT!
"YOU SEE, IT'S A PICTURE-- WELL, IT'S A PICTURE OF A PICTURE, BUT
THE PICTURE OF THE PICTURE IS THE PICTURE.
AND IT DOESN'T REALLY EXIST, BUT I PROMISE THERE'S ONLY ONE OF
THEM-- UNLESS I DECIDE TO MAKE MORE.
LET'S START THE BIDDING AT $10 MILLION."
AND THOSE WHO GOT IN ON THIS PONZI SCHEME EARLY ARE ALSO
FEELING THE PINCH, BECAUSE MANY N.F.T. OWNERS ARE FINDING THEIR
INVESTMENTS ARE WORTH SIGNIFICANTLY LESS THAN WHEN
THEY BOUGHT THEM. WHAT DOES "SIGNIFICANT" MEAN?
WELL, AN N.F.T. OF THE FIRST TWEET FROM TWITTER CO-FOUNDER
JACK DORSEY SOLD IN MARCH 2021 FOR $2.9 MILLION.
BUT WHEN IT WENT UP FOR AUCTION RECENTLY, THE HIGHEST BID CAME
IN AT $277. HA
WOW! I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING LOSE
VALUE THAT QUICKLY SINCE KEVIN SPACEY'S OSCARS.
>> - OH! >> - REALLY?
REALLY? TOO ROUGH ON KEVIN SPACEY?
YOU READ THE NEWS, RIGHT?
DORSEY N.F.T. IS UNDETERRED, SAYING THAT THE DROP IN VALUE
WAS JUST A NORMAL FLUCTUATION THAT COULD OCCUR IN ANY MARKET,
AND THAT THE N.F.T. MARKET IS ONE THAT IS STILL DEVELOPING AND
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO PREDICT HOW IT WILL LOOK IN A FEW YEARS.
AND IF YOU BELIEVE THAT, I'VE GOT AN N.F.T. OF A BRIDGE I'D
LIKE TO SELL YOU.
THIS--
LEAKS, BUT NO DRIBBLE OF INFORMATION IS COMPLETE WITHOUT
A TERRIFYING NEW ANECDOTE ABOUT FORMER PRESIDENT NAPOLEON
BONERPILL.
THIS-- THIS--
COURTESY OF A NEW BOOK BY FORMER DEFENSE SECRETARY AND MAN
SO PATRIOTIC HE'S GOT AN EAGLE GROWING OUT OF HIS NECK, MARK
ESPER. BY THE WAY, SECRETARY ESPER WILL
BE MY GUEST HERE ON "THE LATE SHOW" NEXT TUESDAY.
PLEASE JOIN US. IN HIS BOOK, ESPER RECALLS WHAT
WAS GOING ON IN THE ADMINISTRATION ON JUNE 1, 2020,
WHEN DEMONSTRATORS WERE GATHERED AT LAFAYETTE SQUARE NEAR THE
WHITE HOUSE TO PROTEST POLICE ACTION IN THE DEATH OF GEORGE
FLOYD. AND TO ADDRESS THEIR CONCERNS
ABOUT POLICE BRUTALITY, THE FORMER PRESIDENT CALLED OUT
THE NATIONAL GUARD TO HIT THE CROWD WITH TEAR GAS AND RUBBER
BULLETS SO HE COULD WALK ACROSS THE STREET WITH ESPER IN TOW AND
HOLD A BIBLE LIKE HE WAS RETURNING A HAM SANDWICH TO THE
DELI COUNTER. I'M JOKING, OBVIOUSLY.
HE WOULD NEVER RETURN A SANDWICH.
BUT ACCORDING--
BUT ACCORDING TO ESPER'S BOOK, THAT WAS ACTUALLY THE BEST-CASE
SCENARIO. ESPER WRITES THAT THE FORMER
PRESIDENT FIRST ASKED HIS DEFENSE SECRETARY, "CAN'T YOU
JUST SHOOT THEM? JUST SHOOT THEM IN THE LEGS OR
SOMETHING?" NOW, FOLKS, EVERY SO OFTEN, YOU
LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT THAT RANCID GARBAGE PILE THAT,
UNBELIEVABLY, STILL SHOCKS YOU. THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES ASKED THE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE TO USE THE MILITARY TO
SHOOT PROTESTORS. WHY STOP THERE?
WHY NOT NUKE THE PROTESTORS? OH, WAIT, HE WAS SAVING THE
NUKES TO STOP THE HURRICANES. SHOOTING
THEM IN THE LEGS DOES NOT MAKE IT ANY BETTER.
LEGS ARE VERY IMPORTANT. THAT'S WHERE I KEEP SOME OF MY
FAVORITE BLOOD. EVIDENTLY, HE LEARNED CROWD
CONTROL FROM THIS TRAINING
>> ALL RIGHT NOW, YA WISE GUY, DANCE!
WHILE-- I BELIEVE THAT WAS JOHN
BOLTON. IT'S BEEN A WHILE--
FROM FORMER NEW YORK MAYOR AND
DEPRESSED TESTICLE, RUDY GIULIANI.
HOLDING DOWN A JOB THESE DAYS.
SO INSTEAD, HE'S ON CAMEO, A SERVICE WHERE, FOR A FEE, YOU
CAN GET A SHORT PERSONALIZED MESSAGE FROM A CELEBRITY.
OR FROM RUDY GIULIANI. NOW, RECENTY, GIULIANI TOOK TO
TWITTER TO PROMOTE HIS CAMEOS. HE'S SINCE DELETED THE TWEET,
BUT NOT BEFORE OUR FOOTAGE WIZARDS SNAGGED THE VIDEO.
>> I'M RUDY GIULIANI. IF YOU WANNA HAVE A REALLY NICE
CONVERSATION OR A BIRTHDAY GREETING, OR JUST TALK GOLF, GO
TO THE LINK BELOW. >>
"WE CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING! EVEN ABOUT HOW THOSE WHO
ACTIVELY SEEK TO DESTROY THEIR OWN COUNTRY FACE NO
CONSEQUENCES, AND CAN RELAX ON A GOLF COURSE, LOOKING LIKE A
HAPPY LITTLE POTATO IN CULOTTES, HAWKING BIRTHDAY GREETINGS FOR
MERLOT MONEY! CLICK BELOW!"
LOOK?
HE'S LIKE A GRANDPA DRESSED UP AS A KID DRESSED UP AS A
GRANDPA.
HAPPENING DOWN HERE? WHAT IS HAPPENING DOWN HERE?
I DON'T KNOW IF HE'S WEARING SHORTS OR LONGS.
IT'S LIKE AN ADULT DIAPER AND A PAIR OF KHAKIS HAD A SECRET BABY
THEY HID IN THE ATTIC. IT'S LIKE HE GRABBED SOME
DOCKERS, AND WHEN THEY SAW WHO WAS WEARING THEM, THEY TOOK
THEIR OWN LIFE BEFORE THEY HIT THE ANKLES.
HE LOOKS LIKE-- HE LOOKS LIKE THE NEW GERIATRIC MEMBER OF
BLINK 182. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU.
CHRIS O'DONNELL IS HERE, AND ELVIS COSTELLO TAKES THE COLBERT
QUESTIONERT. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
IT'S "MEANWHILE" Y'ALL, IT'S "MEANWHILE."
GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND, EVERYBODY, RIGHT OVER THERE,
MAKING IT HAPPEN! HELLO, LOUIS.
>> HELLO, STEPHEN. >> LOUIS, HOW ARE YOU
DOING TONIGHT? >> DOING ALL RIGHT.
>> - OUR DEAR FRIEND CHRIS O'DONNELL FROM THE "-
LOS ANGELES" IS GOING TO BE HERE TONIGHT.
THEY ARE CELEBRATING 300? 300 EPISODE THIS SUNDAY, IT WILL
BE 300 EPISODE. AND I DON'T WANT TO-- IT'S NOT A
CONTEST. TONIGHT IS EPIS SO 1,260 FOR US.
ALSO, MR. ELVIS COSTELLO WILL BE
HERE TO TAKE THE COLBERT QUESTIONERT.
A GLAD MAN. YOU KNOW, FOLKS, I SPEND MOST
OF MY TIME RIGHT OVER THERE, CAREFULLY SURVEYING AND
EXCAVATING THE DAY'S NEWS LANDSCAPE, PLANNING AND CARVING
FROM IT BEAUTIFUL, YET CHALLENGING TEE BOXES AND STORY
FAIRWAYS, WHICH ARE THEN OVER-SEEDED WITH THE FINEST,
MOST TOPICAL RYE GRASS AND FESCUE.
THEN, MAKING INVENTIVE USE OF TOPOGRAPHY, VEGETATION, AND
DRAINAGE, I LAY IN HIGHLY SCULPTED AND ARCHITECTURAL JOKE
BERMS AND POT BUNKERS, THEN MANICURE TWO MILLIMETER
TOP-DRESSED AND AERATED POA TRIBE AND VELVET BENT GREENS
WITH A 13 FOOT STIMP-METER READING, AND AN ICONIC ISLAND
HOLE AT 17 TO PRESENT TO YOU, THE CHALLENGING AND ILLUSTRIOUS
T.P.C. SAWGRASS STADIUM GOLF COURSE THAT IS MY NIGHTLY
MONOLOGUE. BUT SOMETIMES, JUST SOMETIMES,
SOMETIMES I SOBER UP AT 4,000 FEET WHILE STRAPPED INTO A
PARACHUTE, AND DEDUCE THAT I HAVE BEEN TOSSED FROM THE CESSNA
162 SKYCATCHER USED TO SMUGGLE ME OUT OF THE PHILIPPINES, THEN
I DRIFT INTO THE HIGH TENSION WIRES ABOVE AN ABANDONED
AMUSEMENT PARK WHERE I RIP THE CLOWN HEAD OFF AN OLD ICE CREAM
STAND, PUNCH A HOLE IN ITS MOUTH USING A BRICK I RIPPED OUT OF
THE FOUNDATION OF A DEFUNCT HOSPITAL, SLAP IT ON A STRIP OF
FLOOR MATS I STOLE FROM A HEARSE, THEN I WRESTLE A
CHIPPED MARBLE AWAY FROM A TOOTHLESS FORTUNE TELLER WHO
MUTTERS SOME WARNING ABOUT A WOLF CLAWING AT MY SOUL'S DOOR
AND I STAGGER TO THE DUMP AND GRAB A BROKEN HOCKEY STICK SO I
CAN OPEN THE MANIC DRIFTER'S PUTT-PUTT COURSE OF NEWS THAT IS
"MEANWHILE!"
MEANWHILE-- IT IS THE WAY.
MEANWHILE, IN "IT-MUST-BE-FLORIDA" NEWS, AN
ALLIGATOR BROKE INTO A FLORIDA FAMILY'S GARAGE AND STARTED
CHUGGING DIET COKES. THE WORD
"METH" DOES NOT APPEAR IN THAT HEADLINE.
ONE OF THE HOMEOWNERS SAID THE GATOR "TORE OPEN THE BOX AND HAD
A FEW CANS," ADDING, "PROBABLY THOUGHT IT WAS BEER."
OF COURSE, BECAUSE IN THE WILD, A GATOR'S NATURAL PREY IS A
SIX-PACK OF NATTY LITE. MEANWHILE, "ISRAEL IS PLANNING A
ZIP LINE FOR ANCIENT JERUSALEM." WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE.
AFTER ALL, THAT'S HOW JESUS ENTERED THE CITY ON PALM SUNDAY.
THAT'S WHY THEY SAY, "HOSANNAH IN THE HIGHEST."
BECAUSE HE WAS... ACCORDING TO THE PLAN, THE ZIP
LINE WOULD START ON "THE HILL OF EVIL COUNSEL, WHERE JUDAS
PLOTTED TO BETRAY JESUS." SURE!
GO FOR IT! AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, WHY NOT
TURN THE LOCATION OF THE LAST SUPPER INTO A T.G.I.-GOOD
FRIDAY'S.
I BELIEVE THEY SERVE JALAPENO POPPERS.
MEANWHILE, "TACO BELL IS BRINGING BACK A FAN-FAVORITE
MENU ITEM, THE MEXICAN PIZZA, AFTER A TWO YEAR HIATUS."
TWO YEARS, BECAUSE THAT'S HOW LONG IT TAKES TO RECOVER FROM
EATING A TACO BELL MEXICAN PIZZA.
MEANWHILE, "THE F.D.A. IS
INVESTIGATING CLAIMS THAT MORE THAN 3,000 PEOPLE SAID THEY HAD
BEEN SICKENED AFTER EATING LUCKY CHARMS."
I CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE AREN'T FEELING WELL AFTER EATING BOWLS
OF HIGH-FRUCTOSE, DEHYDRATED ELECTRIC PURPLE PACKING PEANUTS.
CONSUMERS HAVE COMPLAINED OF
GASTROINTESTINAL ISSUES AFTER EATING THE CEREAL."
PROMPTING THIS OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM A LUCKY CHARMS
>> THE FEDS ARE AFTER ME LUCKY
CHARMS! TO THE ESCAPE BALLOON!
VENEZUELA HAS NO EXTRADITION TREATY!
>> - WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE STAR OF "- LOS
ANGELES," CHRIS O'DONNELL.
GOT MY JUICE COFFEE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY GUEST
TONIGHT STARS AS AGENT CALLEN ON "LOS ANGELES," WHICH WILL
AIR ITS 300th EPISODE THIS SUNDAY.
HE HAS ALSO CO-CREATED THE NEW CBS DANCE COMPETITION SHOW,
"COME DANCE WITH ME." PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE
SHOW," CHRIS O'DONNELL.
AGAIN.
>> GOOD TO SEE EVERYBODY BACK. I LOVE SEEING THE AUDIENCE.
>> ISN'T THAT PLEASANT?
>> AMAZING. >> IT'S BEEN A MINUTE
SINCE WE'VE SEEN YOU. 2018 WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE
HERE. >> I DON'T THINK I'VE BEEN TO
NEW YORK SINCE 2018. >> REALLY?
>> IT'S BEEN A WHILE. >> HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
>> I'VE BEEN BUSY. IT'SED ANY TO BE BACK TO NEW
YORK. IT HAS AN ENERGY LIKE NO OTHER
AND GOOD TO BE BACK HERE. >> IT HAS BEEN-- I
RECENTLY FOUND OUT THIS YEAR CELEBRATE 30 YEARS SINCE YOU
WERE IN "SCENT OF A WOMAN. THE.
>> OH, MY GOSH. >> WITH AL PACINO.
>> THERE YOU GO. >> IN FACT, I L LIVED-- I LIVED
ABOUT THREE BLOCKS FROM HERE WHEN I DID THAT.
>> LOOK AT THAT FACE. PUT THAT BACK UP.
>> I HATE TO SAY IT. I LOOK LIKE MY OLDER SON.
HE CHOPPED THAT LID OFF. >> WHAT DO YOU
REMEMBER FROM THAT MOVIE? >> BESIDES THE AMAZING
EXPERIENCE I WAS LAUGHING. AS I WAS COMING OVER HERE, I
DROVE BY-- I LIVED ON A BILLION IN 57th BETWEEN 8th AND
9th. AND I DIDN'T KNOW ANYBODY, AND I
WAS YOUNG, AND I AM STUCK IN THIS BUILDING.
AND I COULDN'T SLEEP BECAUSE I WAS WORKING WITH AL PACINO.
00 IN THE MORNING, PUT ON ROLLER BLADES
AND A DOWN JACKET AND ROLLER BLADE UP AND DOWN TIMES SQUARE
IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER. >> JUST TO CALM DOWN.
>> JUST TO CALM DOWN AND TRY TO SLEEP.
I WAS OUT OF MY MIND, I WAS LITERALLY-- I WAS A LITTLE
NERVOUS. >> HOW ABOUT PACINO?
WAS HE NICE TO YOU? >> HE WAS AMAZING.
THE FIRST FIVE MONTHS OF IT HE WAS REALLY KIND OF COOL TO ME,
AND NOT ENGAGING. I FOUND OUT AFTER THE FACT, THE
DIRECTOR SAID, "CHRIS IS REALLY NERVOUS AROUND YOU.
DON'T MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE." BECAUSE IT WORKED FOR THE MOVIE.
>> OH, OF COURSE. >> IT WORKED FOR THE CHARACTER.
>> RIGHT. >> FINALLY, THE LAST MONTH HE'S
LIKE, "HEY, YOU WANT TO COME OVER AND PLAY CARDS?
YOU WANT TO GO TO DINNER?" AND I WAS LIKE WHERE HAS THIS
BEEN FOR FIVE MONTHS? AND THEN I KIND OF FIGURED IT
OUT. AND I SAID I CAN APPRECIATE
THAT. >> YOU DIDN'T REALIZE
HE WAS MAKING YOU METHOD ACT. >> HE WAS SCARING THE HELL OUT
OF ME. WE HAD DRESSING ROOMS NEXT TO
EACH OTHER, AND THIN WALLS, AND I COULD HEAR HIM IN THERE,
WHOING ON THESE SCENES. AND I WOULD PREAK OUT, "WE'RE
NOT WORKOK THAT SCENE TODAY." HE WAS WORKING ON SCENESSZ FOR
THE NEXT WEEK. AND I WAS LIKE, GOOD GOD, I HAVE
TO LEARN MY LINES. >> YOU WERE LEARNING
YOUR LINES AND THROUGH THE WALL YOU HEARD HUU-AHH.
"LOS ANGELES" AIRING ITS 300th EPISODE, THAT'S KIND A
SMILESTONE, THIS SUNDAY NIGHT. 14 SEASONS.
>> GOING ON 14, YEAH. >> 14 SEASONS.
I HAVE ASKED YOU THIS BEFORE, I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN A STRAIGHT
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH NAVAL CRIME IN LOS ANGELES?
THERE ARE NO BOATS THERE. .
A LOT OF CRIME IN NEW ORLEANS, AND NOW IN HAWAII.
>> YES. >> UM--
>> - I CAN'T WAIT FOR "-
DENVER." HAVE YOU GUYS GOT 300-- YOU MUST
HAVE SOLVED ALL THE CRIME AT THIS POINT.
>> CREATIVE WRITERS COMING UP WITH THE STORY LINES ON THAT.
I AGREE WITH YOU ON THAT. 300 EPISODES IS A LOT.
WE HAVE AN AMAZING CAST AND CREW WE WORK WITH EVERY DAY.
>> THOSE ARE "GUNSMOKE."
>> TOP 20 -- >> TOP 20 LONGEST
RUNNING SHOWS? >> YEAH.
>> - THAT'S FANTASTIC. >> - HOW COME LL COOL J
HASN'T AGED A DAY? IS THERE SOME SECRET FORMULA
HE'S GOT? >> HE'S ANAMOTRONNIC.
>> I WOULD BELIEVE THAT.
>> HE'S NOT REAL. WITH HIS WORK SCHEDULED, I DON'T
DOUBT IT, ACTUALLY. >> ONE OF THE THINGS
I HAVE ENJOYED OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS IS THAT I-- I
DON'T THINK YOU'VE EVER MET MY WIFE, EVIE, BUT SHE'S BEEN ON
THE SHOW QUITE A BIT THE LAST TWO YEARS.
FIRST OF ALL,-- >> YOU WERE DOING IT YOUR GARAGE
FOR A WHILE. >> I WAS DOING IT IN
A SPARE BEDROOM FOR A WHILE, AND SHE WAS MY ONLY AUDIENCE MEMBER.
>> BANDOLEERED. >> FOR 15 MONTHS IT
WAS BASICALLY HER. AND IT'S BEEN SO FUN TO HAVE HER
PART OF THE SHOW. I UNDERSTAND ON "NCIS--"
>> MY FAMILY. >> YOUR WIFE AND KIDS
HAVE ALL BEEN ON. >> ALL BUT ONE.
MY OLDEST SON WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON BUT SOMEBODY GOT COVID AND IT
DIDN'T HAPPEN. SPEAKING OF MY WIFE, I HAD MY
WIFE WHEN I WAS DIRECTING AN EPISODE, AND SHE AND HER FRIENDS
SAID, "WE WANT TO BE ON. IF YOU'RE A DIRECTOR, THEY CAN'T
SAY NO." >> THIS IS A LONG
CON. THAT'S WHY SHE MARRIED YOU.
>> THIS IS HOW THEY WERE GOING TO GET INTO THE SCREEN ACTOR'S
GUILD. THERE WAS A SCENE A GUY COMES
INTO THE RESTAURANT AND SHOOT UP THE PLACE AND EVERYONE FREAKS
AND PANICS AND THEY'RE RUNNING AWAY.
I'M WATCHING THE PLAYBACK AFTER WE DID THE TAPE-- THERE ARE
HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE THERE-- THERE IS ONE GROUP OF GIRLS THAT COME
THROUGH LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY, AND THEY'RE CARRYING THEIR REAL
CHAMPAGNE THAT THEY HAD ORDERED THEMSELVES.
AND I LOOKED BACK AND THE D.P. SAID, "CHRIS, THEY'RE ALL
LAUGHING." I SAID, "YEAH, I KNOW, THAT'S MY
WIFE. WE'RE GOING TO HANDLE THAT."
I WENT BACK, "GUYS, YOU'RE GOING TO GET ME FIRED SO YOU NEED TO
COOPERATE HERE AND MAYBE WHEN THE GUY STARTS FIRING A GUN,
IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY. THAT'S ALL.
DRILL DON DOWNA THAT." >> THIS IS AS A
DIRECTOR. >> YES.
>> WHAT IF WHEN YOANACTOR, WHEN THEY'RE ON SET, E
WIFE AND KIDS, DOES IT MAKE YOU BETTER OR DOES IT MAKE YOU SUPER
NERVOUS? >> IT DOESN'T MAKE ME NERVOUS.
I GET A KICK OUT OF IT. I SEE HOE NERVOUS THEY ARE.
I TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. I GET NERVOUS DOING CERTAIN
EVENTS AND COMING ON A TALK SHOW IS A DIFFERENT THING, ON THE
SET, YOU DO IT EVERY DAY AND YOU'RE VERY COMFORTABLE WITH IT.
YOU HAVE AN APPRECIATION WHEN YOUR LOVED ONES COME ON AND
THEY'RE OUT OF THEIR SORTS. >> I GET NERVOUS
BECAUSE I WANT THEM TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
>> RIGHT. >> I DON'T WANT THEM
TO COME ON AND-- >> IT'S KIND OF A NOVELTY,
THEY'RE NOT ON THERE HOPING FOR THEIR BIG BREAK.
>> I DON'T KNOW. >> I HOPE THEY'RE NOT.
>> I HAD MY SIX-YEAR-OLD, WHEN HE WAS SIX
YEARS OLD, MY YOUNGEST, WAS ON THE OLD SHOW.
HE SHOT THIS LITTLE PIECE, AND HE WAS AN UNCHIN OR SOMETHING
LIKE THAT, AND HE WALKED OFFSTAGE-- I FOUND OUT FROM
WARDROBE LATER ON. THE SIX-YEAR-OLD LOOKS UP AND
GOES, "I LIKED IT OUT THERE."
TROUBLE. >> THIS IS HOME.
>> HWW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED ACTING?
PEOPLE HERE DON'T KNOW, YOU WERE ON "MEN DON'T LEAVE," THE FIRST
THING I SAW YOU IN. IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL PERFORMANCE.
>> THANK YOU. I WAS 18.
I WAS DOING COMMERCIALS AS YOUNG AS THE AGE OF 14.
>> WHAT WERE YOU SELLING?
>> EVERYTHING, CABIN CRUNCH, FRUIT ROLL-UP S.
>> HOW IS YOUR "BITE AND SMILE."
>> I CAN RUN IN PLACE AND WHISPER IN YOUR EAR.
BUT STILL TALK. >> NICELY DONE.
>> AND I CAN PUT MY HANDS IN MY POCKETS AND NOT MAKE THEM
CREASE. >> YOU CAN'T TEACH
THAT. YOU'RE BORN WITH THAT.
>> I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT THAT IS MY LINE, "YOU CAN'T TEACH THAT."
>> WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.
WHEN WE COME BACK I WILL ASK CHRIS O'DONNELL ABOUT HIS LATEST
>> HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK HERE WITH CHRIS
O'DONNELL. YOU HAVE COCREATED AND EXECUTIVE
PRODUCED A NEW FAMILY DANCE COMPETITION?
>> YES. >> YOU AND LL COOL J.
>> IT WAS A LOGICAL PROGRESSION. >> EXACTLY, NAVAL
CRIME-- >> NAVAL CRIME IN L.A., FAMILY
DANCE, LET'S GO. >> IT'S CALLED "COME
DANCE WITH ME." HOW DID THE SHOW COME ABOUT?
>> IT CAME ABOUT FROM A FRIEND OF MINE WHO WAS IN THE REALITY
WORLD AND WE TALKED ABOUT DOING SOMETHING.
WE HAVE KIDS THE SAME AGE AND SHARED THE DADDY-DAUGHTER DANCES
AND THAT. IT'S INTERESTING, WHEN WE
STARTED TALKING ABOUT IT, AND LL HEARD ABOUT IT AND I SAID I
DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S MY CUP OF TEA.
AND HE SAID THAT'S HOT. WE SHOULD DO THAT.
COVID HIT. WE HAD BEEN DEVELOPING IT, AND
WE TALKED TO CBS ABOUT IT. EVERYTHING WAS SHUT DOWN.
COVID HIT AND WE'RE SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH THE FAMILY IN
THE HOUSES AND I'M WATCHING MY LITTLE MAEVE DANCE AND I SAID
SHE HAS GOOD MOVES WHERE DID SHE LEARN THAT?
IT WAS TIKTOK. THE IDEA OF A PARENT-CHILD
COMPETITION SHOW. >> THESE AREN'T
CELEBRITIES. >> THE KID ARE REALLY TALENTED
DANCERS, THEY TAKE DANCE CLASSES.
THEY'RE FROM 8-14. THE PARENTS ARE FROM ALL WALKS
OF LIFE. THIS IS NOT THEIR COMFORT ZONE,
AND DLOOS SOMETHING SO GREAT ABOUT WATCHING SOMEONE WHO
DOESN'T WANT TO DANCE GET UP AND DANCE.
>> THE KIDS ARE TEACHING THE PARENTS?
>> YES. >> THAT'S GOOD.
>> THE TWO LOWEST POINT TOTALS AT THE END HAVE TO HAVE A
DANCE-OFF, WHICH IS FINE WITH THE KID.
THAT'S WHAT THEY DO WITH THEIR FRIENDS.
THE PARENTS HAVE TO BE A DANCE-OFF.
ONE MOM IS A DOCTOR, AND THE OTHER GUY IS, YOU KNOW, A BANKER
OR SOMETHING, AND THEY HAVE TO HAVE A DANCE-OFF.
IT'S THE FUNNIEST THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN.
SO IT'S-- TUNE IN. >> DO YOU DANCE ON
THE SHOW? >> I DO NOT DANCE ON THE SHOW.
>> BECAUSE YOU HAVE DANCED BEFORE.
THIS IS YOU HONORING AL PACINO AT THE KENNEDY CENTER HONORS.
I WAS HOSTING THE KENNEDY CENTER HONORS.
AND YOU TANGOED YOUR HEART OUT. >> THIS WAS THE MOST
EMBARRASSING THING. I GOT A CALL, "CHRIS, AL IS
GOING TO GET THE KENNEDY CENTERS AWARD AND WE WOULD LIKE YOU TO
COME IN AND SPEAK." I SAID THIS IS SUCH AN HONOR.
WOW, THANK YOU. AND WE HAVE AN IDEA.
I'M LIKE OKAY. "SO WE WANT TO RECREATE THE
TANGO SCENE FROM "SCENT OF A WOMAN."
I SAID, "GREAT, YOU SHOULD DO THAT.
THAT WOULD BE AWESOME." WE WOULD LIKE YOU TO DANCE WITH
GABRIELLE. I SAID, "NO, CHARLIE DIDN'T
DANCE." "I KNOW, BUT IT WOULD BE SUCH A
GREATER HONOR." I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY NO BUT
THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS DANCE BEFORE THE PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES AND 1,000 PEOPLE AT THE KENNEDY CENTER.
I DIDN'T SAY NO. >> WHAT WAS THAT
MOMENT LIKE? >> HONESTLY, MY WIFE WAS
LAUGHING. I SAID, "I'M GOING TO HAVE A
NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. I NEED A DOCTOR.
I'M FREAKING OUT." IT WAS FINE.
I DIDN'T DROP GABRIELLE. I HAVE AN APPRECIATION FOR WHAT
THESE PARENTS ARE GOING THROUGH. LET'S PUT IT THAT WAY.
>> CHRIS, IT WAS SO LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN, THANK
YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. >> THANK YOU.
>> - "COME DANCE WITH ME" - 00 P.M. ON
CBS. IT'S CHRIS O'DONNELL, EVERYBODY.
WHEN WE COME BACK, I GIVE ELVIS COSTELLO THE COLBERT
QUESTIONERT. STICK AROUND
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH THE ARTIST
BEHIND THE NEW CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED ALBUM "THE BOY NAMED
IF," ELVIS COSTELLO. ELVIS, IT'S ALWAYS A PLEASURE.
YOU KNOW, I'M A LONGTIME FAN, VERY HAPPY IN MY OLD AGE TO
BECOME FRIEND WITH YOU, IF I MAY SAY SO.
>> THANK YOU. >> I HAVE YOUR PHONE
NUMBER SO I'LL BANLER YOU IF YOU DON'T SAY THAT WE'RE FRIENDS.
>> WE ARE FRIENDS, STEPHEN. YOU KNOW THAT.
>> THAT'S ALMOST BELIEVABLE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THE ONE THING ABOUT TALKING TO
GUESTS, EVEN ONES WHO I KNOW A LITTLE BIT, IS THAT THIS IS NOT
ENOUGH TIME TO ACTUALLY PLUMB THE DEPTHS OF THEIR SOUL.
IT USUALLY SKIPS ACROSS THE SURFACE A LITTLE BIT, EVEN WITH
INTERVIEWERS AS GOOD AS I AM. I DO LIKE TO GET TO KNOW PEOPLE
AS WHO THEY REALLY ARE-- >> I SENSE WHERE THIS IS
LEADING. >> THE SCIENTISTS UP
IN "LATE SHOW" LABS HAVE COME UP WITH 15 QUESTIONS THAT,
UNERRINGLY, HEAT SEEKINGLY FIND THE SOUL OF THE SUBJECT AND
REVEAL THEM TO THE WORLD. ARE YOU READY TO BE KNOWN, ELVIS
COSTELLO? >> I GUESS SO.
I HAVE NO ESCAPE. >> THAT IS RIGHT.
WE'VE LOCKED THE DOORS TO THE THEATER.
THIS IS THE "COLBERT QUESTIONERT."
ELVIS COSTELLO, WHAT IS THE BEST
SANDWICH? >> THE BEST SANDWICH?
>> YES. >> A CONNIE ARNEY BUSY.
>> WHAT HAPPENS THERE?
>> YOU GET A CAN OPENER, AND YOU OPEN THE CAN OF CONDENSED MILK,
AND YOU PORIT ON WHITE BREAD. >> WOW!
THAT IS--THAT IS-- POSTWAR FLNDR HEARD IT.
>> YEAH. WOW.
>> I ONLY HAD IT ONCE, AND I'M STILL RUNNING ON THE CONTENT.
>> WHAT'S THE SCARIEST ANIMAL?
>> WOLVERINE. >> A WOLVERINE.
>> NO, NO, TASMANIAN DEVIL. >> OH, OKAY.
>> TASMANIAN DEVIL, YOU HAVE SEEN ONE IN REAL LIFE.
>> I HAVE ONLY SEEN THE CARTOON.
>> THAT IS AN ACTUALLY FAIRLY GOOD DESCRIPTION OF THEM.
>> REALLY? >> YES.
I ONCE SAW A VERY HAIRY-LEGGED AUSTRALIAN KEEPER AT A GAME
RESERVE BRAVELY GET INTO THE ENCLOSURE, KICK A HOLLOW LOG,
AND IT CAME OUT VERY MUCH LIKE THE CARTOON TASMANIAN DEVIL, A
SORT OF SPINNING BALL OF FUR AND TEETH.
AND YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYBODY WITH SUCH HAIRY LEGGING MOVE SO
FAST. >> APPLES OR ORANGES?
>> APPLES. >> GOOD ANSWER.
>> APPLES. >> BECAUSE YOU CAN'T
PUT PEANUT BUTTER ON AN APPLE. >> THAT'S REVOLT, "BUT NO.
>> YOU HAVE EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR
AUTOGRAPH? >> OH, YES, YES.
>> DO YOU REMEMBER WHO?
>> GREGORY PECK. >> WOW.
>> YEAH. >> THAT'S A GREAT
ANSWER. >> GREGORY PECK.
I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, GREGORY PECK. >> HOW LONG AGO ARE
WE TALKING? WHAT ERA OF PECK.
>> I WAS AROUND NINE, AND I LIVE MERE WHERE "HARD DAY'S NIGHT
"WAS SHOT AND THE BEGINNING OF "LET IT BE" WHICH BECAME "GET
BACK." AND OCCASIONALLY THE WORD WOULD
GO AROUND, LIKE THE GIRL NEXT DOOR WHO WAS A BIT OLDER THAN ME
HUNG OUTSIDE AND SOUGHT BEATLES AND GOT WILFORD BRAMBELLS
AUTOGRAPH. >> OH, WOW, SURE.
>> AND WE GOT THE WORD THEY WERE DOING A SCENE IN OUR LOCAL PARK
WHERE WE KICK THE BALL AROUND, AND THERE WAS GREGORY PECK.
YOU KNOW, I HAD SEEN HIM IN A MOVIE OR TWO, AND I ASKED HIM
FOR AN AUTOGRAPH. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS A FUNNY THING.
>> DO YOU STILL HAVE IT?
>> I DO. I HAVE ALL THE AUTOGRAPHS I GOT.
MY DAD GOT THE BEATLES' OUGHT THOGRAPH IN 1963 AND BROUGHT
THEM HOME TO ME IN ONE PIECE OF PAPER AND I CUT AROUND THEM AND
PUT THEM IN MY AUTOGRAPH BOOK. >> WOW.
>> AUTOGRAPHS ARE A FUNNY THING. I'VE GOT SOME PEOPLE WHO I HAVE
GOFORGOT NOW, AND I HAVE MY GRANDFATHER'S AUTOGRAPH BOOK AS
WELL. HE HAS DUKE ELLINGTON'S FROM THE
SS OLYMPIC. >> I HOPE YOU HAVE
THESE UNDER LOCK AND KEY. >> I DO.
AND YOU WON'T WREST THEM FROM ME, NO MATTER HOW MUCH --
>> YOU HAVE TO SLEEP SOMETIMES.
WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN WE DO?
>> WE GO INTO EVERYTHING. WE GO INTO EVERYTHING.
YOU KNOW, CAN I JUST SAY, IF IT ISN'T TOO LATE TO SAY THIS.
>> GO AHEAD. >> WHEN WE WERE REHEARSING FOR
OUR SONG ON YOUR SHOW. >> YEAH.
>> I SAW MY PICTURES THAT I DREW WITH MY ELECTRIC PENCIL-- SOME
OF THEM AT MY MOTHER'S BEDSIDE-- ON THE CEILING OF THE ED
SULLIVAN THEATER. YOU KNOW, IT'S NO SECRET, I'VE
BEEN IN THIS THEATER BEFORE WITH YOU AND SOME OTHER PEOPLE.
AND SEEING IT UP THERE, I THOUGHT, "WHAT'S THE CHANCES?
MAYBE I'LL GET A CALL FROM THE POPE.
THEY'VE GOT A FEW CHAPELS THERE, THEY MIGHT NEED PAINTING.
AND LOOK UP THERE." WHERE DO WE GO?
INTO THE SEALE ISING. WE GO INTO THE CEILING, STEPHEN,
INTO THE CEILING WITH EVERYTHING.
GOHEAVEN. GOHEAV TO HEAVEN.THE CEILING OFN
THEATER. >> THERE ARE WORSE
DESTINATIONS. FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE.
>> ACTION MOVIE. >> ACTION MOVIE.
>> WELL I BECAME SOMETHING OF AN EXPERT ON THE UNIVERSE OF MARVEL
OVER THE LAST LITTLE WHILE BECAUSE WE HAD A LOT OF TIME,
WATCHED MOVIES TOGETHER. ACTION MOVIE.
THE "THE GREAT ESCAPE." DOES THAT COUNT?
IS THERE 100%. >> DONALD PLEASANT.
>> AND STEVE McQUEEN. CAN ANYBODY TELL ME HOW HE GOT
THAT CREWED NECK SWEATER IN A PRISONER OF WAR CAMP?
OR THAT LEATHER JACKET, OR THAT BASEBALL MITT.
>> I DON'T KNOW. >> THE MOTOR BIKE HE STOLE.
>> SURE. >> BUT THE B BASEBALL MITT AND
FLYING JACKET AND COOL-LOOKING SWEATER.
>> IT'S STEVE McQUEEN.
HE CAN HAVE WHAT HE WANTS. WINDOW OR AISLE?
>> WINDOW OR AISLE? ABSOLUTELY AISLE.
>> WHY? WHY?
>> YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO
ESCAPE. >> IN CASE OF
SOMETHING GOES BAD OR TO GET TO THE BATHROOM?
>> WELL, IF YOU DO HAVE, YOU KNOW, SORT OF A PERSON THAT'S--
I DON'T KNOW-- SORT OF LISTENING TO SOME KIND OF MUSIC ON THE
LITTLE HEADPHONES THAT IS GHASTLY, YOU CAN RUN AWAY.
IT'S LIKE GO AND LURK IN THE BACK SOMEWHERE WHEN YOU WERE
ALLOWED TO WALK AROUND. I ALWAYS THINK THE AISLE.
I GET EMBARRASSED WHEN PEOPLE HAVE ALL THEIR STUFF AND YOU
SAY, "I NEED TO GET OUT FOR A MOMENT TO GET SOMETHING FROM MY
BAG." I'M VERY CAREFUL ABOUT THAT KIND
OF THING. >> I'M WITH YOU.
FAVORITE SMELL. >> FAVORITE SMELL.
WELL, I WOULD SAY, YOU KNOW, THERE ARE THINGS ASSOCIATED
WITH-- WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE. I THINK, YOU KNOW, IT'S-- IT'S
SORT OF LIKE JUST A MOMENTARY THING.
EVERYTHING FROM A CHILD'S HEAD TO THE ONE YOU LOVE'S, YOU KNOW,
THE NAPE OF THE NECK. WHAT ELSE WOULD IT BE?
IT'S ALL THE THINGS THAT MAKE LIFE RICH.
>> SURE. SOME PEOPLE SAY CHOCOLATE.
BUT-- >> NO, NO.
>> NOT CHOCOLATE. >> YOU SEE SOME PEOPLE ALSO SAY
CHOCOLATE AND RASPBERRIES CAN BE EATEN TOGETHER AND THAT'S A
COMPLETE AVERSION. RASPBERRIES ON THEIR OWN,
CHOCOLATE ON THEIR OWN, FINE. TOGETHER?
HORRIBLE? >> LEAST FAVORITE
SMELL? LEAST FAVORITE SMELL?
>> LEAST FAVORITE SMELL? MY PAL I WAS IN A BAND WITH IN
1971 IN LIVERPOOL LIVED NEXT DOOR TO JAKOB'S CREAM CRACKER
FACTORY. JAKOB'S CREAM CRACKER FACTORY.
THEY WERE VERY POPULAR. MAYBE THEY DON'T EXIST HERE.
ONE OF THE OVERPOWERING SMELLS WAS WHEN I WOULD GET OUT TO
REHEARSE WITH HIM, THEY WOULD BE COOKING THOSE, AND IT WAS AS IF
I COULD VISUALIZE A GIANT CREAM CRACKER, WATER BISCUIT, FLOATING
IN SPACE. AND SOMETIMES IT WAS REALLY
THERE. >> THAT IS BAD?
THAT IS YOUR LEAST-FAVORITE SMELL?
>> THAT SIZE, EVEN A CRACKER IS INTIMIDATING.
YEAH. >> WHAT'S THE MOST-USED APP ON
YOUR PHONE, ELVIS? >> WHAT'S A PHONE?
WHAT'S AN APP? NO, I'M KIDDING.
PROBABLY VOICE MEMO. >> VOICE MEMO TO
YOURSELF? >> I USED TO CARRY NOTELOOK BOOK
AROUND AND I WOULD LOSE THEM OR LEAVE THEM SOMEWHERE.
IF YOU SEE ME MUMBLING TO MYSELF.
IT'S NOT AN AFFLICTION. IT'S PROBABLY A SONG I WILL
RELEASE. >> I HEARD PAUL SIMON
WRITES LYRICS TO THE MUSIC. WHAT'S YOUR ORDER.
ARE YOU LYRICS FIRST? >> THAT WAS THE WONDERFUL THING
ABOUT SEEING THOSE-- THOSE MOMENTS WHERE, YOU KNOW, THESE
THINGS WERE COMING INTO EXISTENCE, JUST BY WILLING THEM
THERE. IF YOU'VE PLAYED THE GUITAR AND
BEEN IN A BAND, YOU'VE DONE THAT.
SOMETIMES I WOULD BE WRITING THE LYRICS ON ONE LINE OF THE
SONGS-- I TEND TO WRITE THEM ALL BEFORE WE WENT INTO THE STUDIO.
IT WOULD BE MORE LIKE-- IF I'M HOLDING THE GUITAR, THE SONGS
ARE BEING RIPPED OUT BY THE RHYTHM.
IF I SIT DOWN AT THE PIANO-- WHICH I DON'T PLAY WELL-- ALL OF
THE POSSIBILITIES ARE THERE AND YOU STUMBLE ON-- THAT'S A NICE
CHORD. AND THEN I THINK YOU MIGHT WRITE
THE MUSIC FIRST. IT DEPENDS ON THE INSTRUMENT.
>> CATS OR DOGS? >> CATS OR DOGS?
WITHOUT QUESTION, DOGS. CATS ARE ALL PLOTTING OUR
DOWNFALL. .
SONG TO LISTEN TO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT IS IT?
>> A VERY EXTREMELY LONG SONG. I CAN PICK, LIKE, "REVOLUTION 49
"BY THE BEATLES. >> SURE.
>> NOT 49. 9.
>> I THOUGHT YOU PERHAPS KNEW A BEATLE SONG I
DIDN'T KNOW. >> I MAYBE SHOULD SAY THAT
AGAIN, SHOULDN'T I? WHAT'S SONG I WOULD LISTEN TO
FORMORE. I REALLY COULDN'T SAY.
>> RINGO SAID "COME TOGETHER."
>> "COME TOGETHER "IS A VERY GOOD SENTIMENT, EVEN IF HE MIGHT
HAVE MEANT IT IN A DIFFERENT WAY.
NO, I WOULD SAY... WELL, I'LL GO
WITH RINGO. WHATEVER RINGO SAYS.
I'LL HAVE TWO OF THAT. >> WHAT NUMBER AM I
THINKING OF? >> 49.
>> NO.
OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS. >> TRAPPED IN THE ED SULLIVAN?
>> ELVIS COSTELLO, EVERYBODY.
. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
THANK YOU, ELVIS.
LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN I'LL BE JOINED BY BILLY CRYSTAL, JEAN
SMART, AND JAKE TAPPER. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY!