1 00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:04,637 ON MONDAY NIGHT, AS DR. OZ MADE HIS CLOSING PITCH TO 2 00:00:04,704 --> 00:00:08,875 PENNSYLVANIA VOTERS AHEAD OF THE TUESDAY PRIMARY, HE TOLD VOTERS 3 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,344 TO IMAGINE LYING IN BED WITH HIM. 4 00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:13,113 >> YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE LET YOUR PEOPLE DOWN, SO WHEN YOU GO TO 5 00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:16,649 BED AT NIGHT AND PUT YOUR HEAD ON THAT SOFT PILLOW, YOU KNOW OZ 6 00:00:16,716 --> 00:00:20,186 WILL BE DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT HIM TO DO IF YOU WERE THERE 7 00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:22,055 NEXT TO HIM. >> WE GOT A.D.T., BECAUSE I 8 00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:23,456 WALKED IN ON DR. OZ LYING IN OUR BED, AND OUR DAUGHTER HAD 9 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:28,828 NIGHTMARES FOR MONTHS. DR. OZ TOOK OUR PEACE OF MIND. 10 00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:32,866 WITH A.D.T., WE GOT IT BACK. >> EVERY 15 MINUTES, DR. OZ 11 00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:35,301 SHOWS UP IN SOMEONE'S HOUSE UNANNOUNCED AND UNWELCOME. 12 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:40,173 WHEN AN OZ ALARM IS RECEIVED, A.D.T. CALLS THE AUTHORITIES, 13 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,443 AND THE AUTHORITIES PROMPTLY REMOVE HIM. 14 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:45,278 ONLY A.D.T. OFFERS AN OZ PROTECTION GUARANTEE. 15 00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:49,282 >> TAKE IT FROM ME, THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT A SECURITY SYSTEM 16 00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:53,286 ISN'T AFTER YOU FIND DR. OZ IN YOUR BED. 17 00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:56,089 IT'S BEFORE. >> I'M DR. OZ, AND I LIKE TO 18 00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:57,323 WATCH YOU SLEEP. 19 00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:05,298 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 20 00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:07,901 TONIGHT: 21 00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,671 PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: RICKY GERVAIS 22 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:15,208 AND MUSICAL GUEST TROMBONE SHORTY 23 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:23,283 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN. 24 00:01:23,349 --> 00:01:29,155 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 25 00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:32,959 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 26 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,934 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). BEAUTIFUL! 27 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:55,748 OH, MY GOODNESS! YOU GUYS SOUND GOOD! 28 00:01:55,815 --> 00:02:09,095 YOU GUYS SOUND GOOD! HEY! 29 00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:16,736 THANK YOU! WHAT'S UP, MARCUS OPINION THANK 30 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,372 YOU, PLEASE. HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY! 31 00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:27,013 THIS IS DELIGHTFUL. PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY. 32 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:31,150 THANK YOU SO MUCH. WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO "THE 33 00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:36,289 LATE SHOW." I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 34 00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:38,758 YOU CAN FEEL THE ELECTRICITY IN THE AIR BECAUSE IT IS PRIMARY 35 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:44,130 DAY ALL ACROSS AMERICA. FIVE STATES ARE CHOOSING THEIR 36 00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:46,566 PARTY NOMINEES FOR STATE AND FEDERAL OFFICE: PENNSYLVANIA, 37 00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:50,270 OREGON, IDAHO, NORTH CAROLINA, AND KENTUCKY. 38 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:52,272 OR AS ELECTION EXPERTS COLLECTIVELY KNOW THEM 39 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:59,879 "POINCK"! ( LAUGHTER ) 40 00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:06,653 ( APPLAUSE ) TUESDAY-- NOW WE TAPE THIS SHOW 41 00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:14,260 EARLY-- YEAH, AND THAT MEANS WE DON'T KNOW THE RESULTS YET, 42 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:18,565 KNOW THE RESULTS YET, BUT BY THE TIME THIS AIRS, THE VICTORS WILL 43 00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:19,699 BE CELEBRATING AND THE LOSERS WILL BE SAYING THEY'RE THE 44 00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:24,070 VICTORS. IT'S A PARTICULAR BIG DAY FOR 45 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:30,577 THE G.O.P. THE PARTY IS CHOOSING ITS 46 00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:32,245 DIRECTION FOR 2022: ORIGINAL RECIPE NUTBALLS OR EXTRA-CRISPY 47 00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:36,349 COO COO CAJONES. ( LAUGHTER ) 48 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:44,257 MMM! COO COO CAJONES. 49 00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:48,261 NOWHERE IS THAT COMPETITION TIGHTER THAN THE KEYSTONE STATE, 50 00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:54,200 PENNSYLVANIA, WHERE THE REPUBLICAN SENATE RACE IS A 51 00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:56,035 BATTLE ROYALE BETWEEN HEDGE FUND EXECUTIVE AND DIVORCED DAD 52 00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:58,271 VACATIONING ALONE, DAVID McCORMICK; TV CONMAN AND FUNERAL 53 00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:02,275 DIRECTOR FLIRTATIOUSLY ASKING, "IS THIS CASKET TAKEN?" 54 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:05,678 DR. MEHMET OZ; AND A SURPRISE LATECOMER FORMER RADIO TALK-SHOW 55 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:10,183 HOST AND CHRISTIAN VENTRILOQUIST WITH A FAITH-BASED DUMMY, 56 00:04:10,249 --> 00:04:11,451 KATHY BARNETTE. AS OF THIS WEEK, McCORMICK'S 57 00:04:11,517 --> 00:04:15,021 INTERNAL POLLING SHOWED THE CANDIDATES NECK AND NECK AND 58 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:23,029 NECK, WITH McCORMICK AT 25% AND OZ AND BARNETTE TIED AT 24%. 59 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,031 OF THE THREE, DR. OZ HAS THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S BACKING, AND 60 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:30,303 LAST NIGHT, HE MADE SURE TO REMIND EVERYONE OF THAT. 61 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,938 >> PRESIDENT TRUMP SAID THIS-- AND I THINK HE WAS RIGHT AND 62 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:35,074 KIND TO SAY IT-- THAT I'M SMART, I AM TOUGH, AND I WILL NEVER LET 63 00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:39,479 YOU DOWN. >> Stephen: BECAUSE THERE'S 64 00:04:39,545 --> 00:04:42,482 NOTHING LIKE BEING CALLED SMART BY A MAN WHO STARED AT AN 65 00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,384 ECLIPSE. ( APPLAUSE ) 66 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:57,096 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BUT THEN, THINGS GOT WEIRD. 67 00:04:57,163 --> 00:04:59,165 >> YOU NEVER WANT TO LET YOUR PEOPLE DOWN, SO WHEN YOU GO TO 68 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,034 BED AT NIGHT, PUT YOUR HEAD ON THAT SOFT PILLOW. 69 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:03,036 YOU KNOW OZ WILL BE DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT HIM TO DO 70 00:05:03,102 --> 00:05:06,506 IF YOU WERE THERE NEXT TO HIM. ( LAUGHTER ) 71 00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:14,714 CREEPIEST POLITICAL PROMISE SINCE GEORGE H.W. BUSH SAID 72 00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:19,018 THIS: >> KISS MY LIPS. 73 00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:23,256 I GIVE TONGUE. >> Stephen: DR. OZ IS MAKING A 74 00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:26,626 BIG FINAL PUSH, BECAUSE BARNETTE HAS BEEN SURGING IN THE 75 00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:30,697 POLLS, DESPITE A LONG HISTORY OF BIGOTED STATEMENTS AGAINST GAY 76 00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:39,272 PEOPLE AND MUSLIMS. OR POSSIBLY BECAUSE OF THAT. 77 00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:40,773 AND THIS WEEKEND, SHE TRIED TO DEFEND HER COMMENTS ON SUNDAY 78 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,476 SUNDAY FOX NEWS FUNDAY. >> THE OVERWHELMING MAJORITY OF 79 00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:46,245 THE TWEETS THAT ARE NOW BEING PRESENTED ARE NOT EVEN FULL 80 00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:50,450 THOUGHTS. THEY'RE NOT EVEN FULL SENTENCES. 81 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:52,452 >> Stephen: SEE? SHE'S A PERFECTLY QUALIFIED 82 00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:54,454 CANDIDATE FOR U.S. SENATE WHO CANNOT FINISH A SENTENCE. 83 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:58,124 EXPLAINS HER CAMPAIGN SLOGAN: "VOTE FOR!" 84 00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:04,464 ( LAUGHTER ) SURE. 85 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:08,000 KIND OF. KIND OF. 86 00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:10,103 BARNETTE SAID IT'S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THESE COMMENTS HAPPENED 87 00:06:10,169 --> 00:06:12,672 A LONG TIME AGO. >> I CAN'T PROVIDE A LOT OF 88 00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:15,441 CONTEXT BECAUSE, AGAIN, IT'S ALMOST TEN YEARS AGO. 89 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:18,478 THAT IS HOW FAR THEY HAVE TO GO BACK TO TRY TO FIND ANYTHING 90 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:21,748 ON ME. >> Stephen: OKAY, 10 YEARS. 91 00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:24,917 BUT KEEP IN MIND, KATHY BARNETTE IS A 50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. 92 00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:28,054 THAT'S LIKE SAYING, "LOOK, WE ALL SAY AND DO STUPID THINGS 93 00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,456 WHEN WE TURN 40! IT'S THAT CAREFREE 22nd SUMMER 94 00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:34,460 AFTER HIGH SCHOOL!" AND NOW TO ADD-- 95 00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:42,568 ( APPLAUSE ) INJURY, THIS WEEKEND, SEVERAL 96 00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:48,407 NEWS SITES CONFIRMED THAT THIS RIGHT HERE, IS, IN 97 00:06:48,474 --> 00:06:50,476 FACT, KATHY BARNETTE MARCHING TO THE CAPITOL ON JANUARY 6, 98 00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:53,880 ALONGSIDE THE PROUD BOYS. SO SHE TRIED TO OVERTHROW AN 99 00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:56,849 INSTITUTION AND NOW WANTS TO WORK THERE? 100 00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,451 THAT'S LIKE HOLDING UP A BANK AND SAYING, "PUT THE MONEY IN 101 00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:04,857 THE BAG! ALSO, THIS SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY 102 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:07,960 GOOD GIG. CAN I DROP MY RESUME OFF WITH 103 00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:10,463 YOU GUYS? BY THE WAY, HOW OFTEN DO THESE 104 00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:14,467 ROBBERIES HAPPEN? ( APPLAUSE ) 105 00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:19,672 SCARY." FOR HIS PART, THE FORMER 106 00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:22,475 PRESIDENT SEEMS TO BE NERVOUS THAT BARNETTE'S BRAND OF 107 00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,143 INTOLERANCE WILL BEAT OUT HIS FAVORITE GRIFTER, BUT HE'S 108 00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:28,447 HEDGING HIS BETS, PUTTING OUT THIS STATEMENT: 109 00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:29,782 KATHY BARNETTE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO WIN THE GENERAL ELECTION 110 00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:32,819 AGAINST THE RADICAL LEFT DEMOCRATS. 111 00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:34,453 SHE HAS MANY THINGS IN HER PAST WHICH HAVE NOT BEEN PROPERLY 112 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:38,491 EXPLAINED OR VETTED. ADDING, "BUT IF SHE IS ABLE TO 113 00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:41,227 DO SO, SHE WILL HAVE A WONDERFUL FUTURE IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY, 114 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:46,465 AND I WILL BE BEHIND HER ALL THE WAY." 115 00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:57,410 ( SCREECH ) THAT'S A BIT OF AN ABRUPT TURN. 116 00:07:57,476 --> 00:08:00,546 ( AS GROOM ): CATHERINE TO BE MY LAWFULLY 117 00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:04,450 WEDDED WIFE, TO LOVE AND CHERISH, IN SICKNESS AND IN 118 00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:12,525 HEALTH 'TIL DEATH DO US PART. UNLESS ANY OF THESE BRIDESMAIDS 119 00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:15,795 ARE INTO IT, I AM D.T.F." LET'S GET IT ON! 120 00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,363 SPEAKING OF DERANGED LEADERS BRITISH PRIME MINISTER AND 121 00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:21,234 MUPPET FINDING OUT WHERE THE HAND GOES, BORIS JOHNSON. 122 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:26,138 ( LAUGHTER ) COVID WORK-FROM-HOME, JOHNSON IS 123 00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:30,076 CALLING ON BRITS TO COME BACK TO THE OFFICE, EXPLAINING, "MY 124 00:08:30,142 --> 00:08:32,545 EXPERIENCE OF WORKING FROM HOME IS YOU SPEND AN AWFUL LOT OF 125 00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:34,714 TIME MAKING ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE AND THEN, YOU KNOW, 126 00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:39,919 GETTING UP, WALKING VERY SLOWLY TO THE FRIDGE, HACKING OFF A 127 00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:44,023 SMALL PIECE OF CHEESE, THEN WALKING VERY SLOWLY BACK TO YOUR 128 00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:50,463 LAPTOP, AND THEN FORGETTING WHAT IT WAS YOU'RE DOING." 129 00:08:50,529 --> 00:09:02,475 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ATTENTION SPAN? 130 00:09:02,541 --> 00:09:06,045 ( AS BORIS ) NUCLEAR MISSILES AGAINST OUR 131 00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:14,453 ENEMIES IN-- OH! GOUDA! 132 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:22,461 DON'T MIND IF I DO-DA. NOW, WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT? 133 00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:24,497 GROMMET! THERE'S SOME GOOD NEWS ABOUT 134 00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:25,965 RUSSIAM BECAUSE THERE'S SOME BAD NEWS FOR RUSSIA: 135 00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:27,166 FINLAND AND SWEDEN HAVE BOTH SIGNED OFF ON THEIR BIDS TO JOIN 136 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,468 NATO. AND FINLAND-- 137 00:09:29,535 --> 00:09:35,474 ( APPLAUSE ). AND FINLAND AND SWEDEN ARE VERY 138 00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:37,576 SERIOUS ABOUT MAKING THIS OFFICIAL. 139 00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:42,448 THEY EACH LEFT A TOOTHBRUSH IN NATO'S BATHROOM. 140 00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:45,851 ONE OF RUSSIA'S MAIN GOALS IN INVADING UKRAINE WAS TO WEAKEN 141 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,353 NATO. NOW, INSTEAD, THE ALLIANCE IS 142 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,989 "ON THE BRINK OF STARTING ITS LARGEST POTENTIAL EXPANSION IN 143 00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:53,426 NEARLY TWO DECADES." HOW IRONIC. 144 00:09:53,492 --> 00:10:01,968 ( APPLAUSE ) WHERE THE GUY BUYS HIS WIFE THE 145 00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:06,973 COMBS FOR HER HAIR, AND SHE JOINS NATO. 146 00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:09,442 ( LAUGHTER ) FINLAND JOINING, BECAUSE IT 147 00:10:09,508 --> 00:10:13,412 WOULD DOUBLE THE SIZE OF RUSSIA'S LAND BORDER WITH 148 00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:17,416 NATO AND ENTIRELY ENCIRCLE ITS THREE PORTS ON THE BALTIC SEA. 149 00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:20,052 AND IF RUSSIA LOSES THE BALTIC, ALL NATO HAS TO DO IS BUY 150 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,421 MEDITERRANEAN AVENUE, AND THEY CAN START PUTTING UP HOTELS. 151 00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:27,426 AND THEN IT'S OVER, BABY! ( APPLAUSE ) 152 00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:33,432 PASS "GO," BUT THEN YOU'RE RIGHT THERE. 153 00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:36,769 NOW, BEFORE THE INVASION, PUTIN SAID THAT ANY OF RUSSIA'S 154 00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:40,706 NEIGHBORS JOINING NATO WOULD BE A RED LINE FOR THE COUNTRY, BUT 155 00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:44,610 YESTERDAY, PUTIN SAID SWEDEN AND FINLAND JOINING NATO WOULD CAUSE 156 00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:47,413 "NO PROBLEMS." APPARENTLY, RUSSIA IS SWITCHING 157 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,648 MILITARY TACTICS FROM NAKED AGGRESSION TO PASSIVE 158 00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:57,423 AGGRESSION. BECAUSE "NO PROBLEM" NEVER MEANS 159 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:01,494 "NO PROBLEM." IT'S RULE NUMBER ONE IN DEALING 160 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:05,031 WITH DICTATORS AND MOTHERS. ( AS MOM ) 161 00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:08,367 CHRISTMAS BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO COSTA RICA WITH YOUR 162 00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:09,468 NEW GIRLFRIEND? NO PROBLEM-- EVEN THOUGH IT 163 00:11:09,535 --> 00:11:12,371 MIGHT BE THE LAST CHRISTMAS WHERE WE'RE ALL HERE. 164 00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:13,672 WHO KNOWS, I COULD FALL DOWN THE STAIRS TOMORROW. 165 00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:19,612 OF COURSE, YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN ME GRANDCHILDREN YET, SO I GUESS I 166 00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:21,847 WON'T BE MISSING THAT MUCH. BUT YOU GO HAVE A GOOD TIME. 167 00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:25,885 I'LL JUST SIT HERE IN THE DARK. IT'S... 168 00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:32,625 IT'S NO PROBLEM." BUT, REGARDLESS-- 169 00:11:32,691 --> 00:11:34,293 ( APPLAUSE ) THAT'S FINE. 170 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:39,432 YOU GO AHEAD." BUT REGARDLESS OF PUTIN'S 171 00:11:39,498 --> 00:11:41,434 REACTION, THIS IS A REALLY COMPLICATED GEOPOLITICAL SHIFT, 172 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:45,438 ESPECIALLY FOR SWEDEN, WHO HAS MAINTAINED NEUTRALITY FOR OVER 173 00:11:45,504 --> 00:11:49,408 200 YEARS. AND JOINING US NOW TO BREAK IT 174 00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:51,477 DOWN FOR US ARE "THE LATE SHOW'S" TOP SWEDISH EXPERTS. 175 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,112 WHAT, IN YOUR OPINION, IS SWEDEN SAYING ABOUT NATO 176 00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:56,449 MEMBERSHIP? ♪ TAKE A CHANCE ON ME ♪ 177 00:11:56,515 --> 00:12:01,420 >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU THINK PUTIN IS GOING TO SAY ABOUT 178 00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:03,422 THAT? ♪ I TRIED TO HOLD YOU BACK 179 00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:07,159 BUT YOU WERE STRONGER ♪ >> Stephen: BY THE WAY, WHAT'S A 180 00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:09,195 GOOD MOVIE TO WATCH IF YOU JUST NEED AN ESCAPE FROM THE BAD 181 00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:12,765 NEWS? ♪ SUPER TROUPER ♪ 182 00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:15,101 >> Stephen: THAT'S WEIRD. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA SAY-- 183 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,103 ♪ MAMMA MIA ♪ >> Stephen: YEAH, THAT ONE. 184 00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:19,472 SO, IN CONCLUSION: ♪ FERNANDO ♪ 185 00:12:19,538 --> 00:12:22,408 >> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR THAT ANALYSIS. 186 00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:25,411 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 187 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:28,881 MY GUEST IS RICKY GERVAIS. HE'S GOING TO BE OVER THERE. 188 00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:32,718 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL BE OVER THERE WITH "MEANWHILE." 189 00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:33,586 JOIN US, WON'T YOU. 190 00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:17,329 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 191 00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:19,565 WELCOME BACK EVERYBODY! GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND RIGHT 192 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:30,109 THERE. "THE LATE SHOW"" BAND. 193 00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:30,943 FANTASTIC. FANTASTIC. 194 00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:32,478 LOUIS, WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING TONIGHT? 195 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:35,748 THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL GUITAR. >> THIS IS MY FIRST ELECTRIC 196 00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:38,217 GUITAR. I HAVE HAD THIS GUITAR SINCE I 197 00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:41,554 WAS 17 YEARS OLD. >> Stephen: THAT WAS YOUR 198 00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:43,155 FIRST ELECTRIC GUITAR? >> YES. 199 00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:46,959 >> Stephen: HOW MANY INSTRUMENTS TO YOU PLAY, LOUIS? 200 00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:52,598 >> A FEW. >> I GOT ATOM BRON. 201 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,634 >> Stephen: THAT'S VERY DIFFERENT THAN GUITAR PLAYING. 202 00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:59,171 WHAT'S A DIFFERENT SKILL REQUIRED FOR TROMBONE PLAYING 203 00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:07,079 THAT YOU DON'T NEED FOR GUITAR PLAYING. 204 00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:08,347 ABTITURE. THAT'S THE POSITIONING OF YOUR 205 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:11,183 MOUTH SO YOU CAN CHANGE THE TONE IN THE BRASS INSTRUMENT BETWEEN 206 00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:12,952 THE PARTIALS OF THE BRASS INSTRUMENT. 207 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:16,388 >> Stephen: THE PARTIAL. >> YOU PLAYED BARITONE FOR A 208 00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:20,759 SKIT, RIGHT? YEAH, EXACTLY. 209 00:14:20,826 --> 00:14:22,761 >> Stephen: I HAD TO DO THAT ONCE. 210 00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:26,031 BACK IN THE DAY WHEN I WAS 24, OR SOMETHING, I HAD TO 211 00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:32,371 UNDERSTUDY A PART STASTEVE CARELL WAS DOING. 212 00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:47,319 AND HE PLAYED UPON TROMBONE YOU GOT IT! 213 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:51,924 AND HE PLAYED UPON TROMBONE YOU GOT IT! 214 00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:59,798 >> Stephen: I GOT LIKE "ANCHORS AWAY. 215 00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:00,966 THE. COMING OUT IN JUST A FEW 216 00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,702 MINUTES HERE, WE HAVE THE LOVELY, THE TALENTED, RICKY 217 00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:06,272 GERVAIS IS GOING TO BE OUT HERE IN JUST A MOMENT. 218 00:15:06,338 --> 00:15:12,978 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). HE HAS A SHOW CALLED 219 00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:14,913 "SUPERNATURE." WE TALK ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF 220 00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,115 GOD OR NONEXISTENCE OF GOD. I DON'T KNOW IF WE'RE GOING TO 221 00:15:16,181 --> 00:15:19,018 DO THAT TONIGHT. WE'LL PROBABLY FIGHT ABOUT 222 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:33,966 SOMETHING IN A FRIENDLY WAY. THAT AND "LORD OF THE RINGS." 223 00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,200 SOMETHING IN A FRIENDLY WAY. THAT AND "LORD OF THE RINGS." 224 00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,268 I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME, RIGHT SPEND MOST OF MY TIME, RIGHT 225 00:15:36,335 --> 00:15:38,470 OVER THERE, CULTIVATING THE DAY'S BIGGEST STORIES, 226 00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:40,072 PLUCKING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND TOPICAL NEWS VIOLETS AND 227 00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:41,573 MARIGOLDS, STRIPPING THE FRENCH LAVENDER FROM THE STEM AND 228 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,342 LOVINGLY PRESSING THEM ALL BETWEEN THE PAGES OF A GILDED 229 00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:45,377 FIRST EDITION OF "PRIDE AND PREJUDICE." 230 00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:46,779 I THEN FOLD THEM INTO A DOUGH I HAND ROLLED FROM PASINI BAKERY 231 00:15:46,845 --> 00:15:49,682 FLOUR, BORDIER BUTTER, AND CHILLED SOMERDALE DEVON DOUBLE 232 00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:52,451 CREAM, SPRINKLE THEM WITH A PINCH OF MUSCOVADO SUGAR, AND 233 00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:58,457 BAKE THEM IN A "LA CORNUE GRAND PALAIS" RANGE TO PERFECTLY PREP 234 00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:09,868 THE GOURMET FLORAL SHORTBREAD COOKIE THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE. 235 00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:12,705 BUT SOMETIMES, FOLKS, SOMETIMES, I AM NIBBLED AWAKE BY AN AMOROUS 236 00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:14,473 RACCOON IN THE ABANDONED WALK-IN FREEZER OF A HAUNTED BAKERY IN 237 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:16,475 WHICH I HAVE ESTABLISHED SQUATTER'S RIGHTS, I SLIP INTO 238 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:21,146 THE TWISTED KITCHENAID PADDLES I CALL SHOES, AND KNIFE FIGHT A 239 00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:22,815 POSSUM FOR AN EXPIRED BAG OF CRUSHED BREAKFAST CEREAL DUST 240 00:16:22,881 --> 00:16:26,452 AND A BROKEN EGG, WHICH I MIX WITH THREE SMUSHED RESTAURANT 241 00:16:26,518 --> 00:16:30,422 BUTTER PACKETS I STOLE FROM A NAPPING RETIREE'S PURSE, POUR 242 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,991 THE REST OF A SHATTERED BOTTLE OF RUBBING ALCOHOL I FOUND IN 243 00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:36,829 THE DUMPSTER OUT BACK INTO A RUSTY BARREL TO IGNITE THE HOBO 244 00:16:36,895 --> 00:16:40,466 FIRE OVER WHICH I BAKE MY SLUDGE, THEN DISPLAY IT IN A 245 00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:42,434 FILTHY CHEF'S HAT TO SERVE YOU THE DERANGED RAT KING BISCUIT OF 246 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:50,442 NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT: "MEANWHILE"! 247 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:55,848 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU HAVE A GOLDEN TICKET WAITING 248 00:16:55,914 --> 00:17:02,488 FOR YOU. MEANWHILE, IN CYBER CRIME NEWS 249 00:17:02,554 --> 00:17:04,456 A GUY WHO SOLD METH UNDER THE SCREEN NAME "DRUGS R US" IS 250 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:08,560 GOING TO PRISON. "DRUGS R US"? 251 00:17:08,627 --> 00:17:13,766 WAIT A SECOND. JIMMY, CAN WE SEE HIS MUG SHOT? 252 00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:21,006 OH, JEFFREY, HOW FAR YOU'VE FALLEN. 253 00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:22,408 AFTER GETTING ARRESTED, MR. "R US" CONTINUED SELLING 254 00:17:22,474 --> 00:17:23,942 DRUGS FROM JAIL. IN PHONE CALLS THAT WERE 255 00:17:24,009 --> 00:17:26,445 RECORDED, INCLUDING ONE WITH HIS WIFE, SHE SAYS TO HIM, "I DON'T 256 00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:30,449 KNOW THE LOGIN FOR THE OTHER THING, THE DARK WEB," TO WHICH 257 00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:32,851 HE REPLIES, "IT'S 'DRUGS R US.'" THAT IS INSANE. 258 00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:38,457 WE HAVE THE SAME PASSWORD. ( LAUGHTER ) 259 00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:44,897 JAMES CROMWELL GLUED HIS HAND TO A STARBUCKS COUNTER IN PROTEST, 260 00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:47,332 DENOUNCING THE SURCHARGE FOR VEGAN MILK ALTERNATIVES. 261 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:51,870 THAT IS SO INSPIRING. REMINDS ME OF WHEN GANDHI 262 00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:53,539 PROTESTED THE PRICE OF AN ALOHA PINEAPPLE SMOOTHIE BY ZIP-TYING 263 00:17:53,605 --> 00:18:02,514 HIMSELF TO A JAMBA JUICE. ( LAUGHTER ) 264 00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:07,052 WHEN YOU LIVE IN REMOTE ALASKA, YOUR DOORDASH ORDER COMES BY 265 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:11,323 PLANE AND CAN TAKE AS LONG AS A COUPLE OF DAYS. 266 00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:15,060 THE REVIEWS ARE POURING IN, AND THEY ARE AS WARM AS FOOD THAT 267 00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:16,228 SPENT TWO DAYS ON A PLANE. ONE ALASKAN SAID, "IT'S NOT HOT. 268 00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:21,700 IT'S NOT FRESH. BUT AT THE SAME TIME, IT HAS THE 269 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,502 FLAVOR YOU'RE WANTING." ( LAUGHTER ) 270 00:18:23,569 --> 00:18:29,308 SLOGAN FOR PAPA JOHN'S. ( LAUGHTER ) 271 00:18:29,374 --> 00:18:39,318 MEANWHILE, ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY, MIGRATING TURTLES DON'T 272 00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:43,322 REALLY KNOW WHERE THEY'RE GOING. WHAT A STRANGE WAY TO FIND OUT 273 00:18:43,388 --> 00:18:49,127 THAT I AM A MIGRATING TURTLE. ( LAUGHTER ) 274 00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:58,904 EMERGENCY EXIT OF A UNITED AIRLINES JET, WALKED ONTO A WING 275 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:03,408 AS THE PLANE TAXIED AT O'HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, AND 276 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:04,510 JUMPED ONTO THE TARMAC. TO BE FAIR, THOUGH, THE 277 00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:05,444 IN-FLIGHT MOVIE WAS "MORBIUS". 278 00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:07,546 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH RICKY GERVAIS. 279 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:37,709 ( APPLAUSE ) WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW." 280 00:19:37,776 --> 00:19:41,914 ALREADY IN PROGRESS. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY GUEST 281 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:47,286 TONIGHT IS AN EMMY-WINNING COMEDIAN WHO CREATED "THE 282 00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:48,453 OFFICE," "EXTRAS," AND "AFTER LIFE." 283 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,655 HE HAS A NEW STANDUP SPECIAL "SUPERNATURE." 284 00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:54,226 >> PEOPLE QUIZ ME ON TWITTER WHEN THEY FIND OUT AN ATHEIST. 285 00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:56,728 "YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD AT ALL?" 286 00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:57,696 "NO." "DO YOU PRAY?" 287 00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:02,401 I GO, "NO." "WHY DON'T YOU PRAY JUST IN CASE 288 00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:05,904 THERE'S A GOD." I SAY, "WHY DON'T YOU PUT GARLIC 289 00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:08,307 OVER YOUR DOOR JUST IN CASE THERE'S A DRACULA." 290 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:13,845 I HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH PRAYING. I KNOW LOADS OF NICE CHRISTIANS 291 00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:22,621 AND MUSLIMS AND JEWS. THEY SAY, I'LL PRAY FOR YOU, I 292 00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:26,458 SAY THAT'S A NICE GESTURE. AND THEY SAY, WE'LL CANCEL YOUR 293 00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:27,726 CHEMO THERAPY. DON'T DO THAT. 294 00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:33,432 LET'S DO THE PRAYING AND THE CHEMOTHRM, SHALL WE, LET'S 295 00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:37,903 DEFINITELY KEEP THAT ONE, SHALL WE? 296 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:41,907 ( LAUGHTER ) TO "THE LATE SHOW," RICKY 297 00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:49,615 GERVAIS! ♪ MOVE ON UP 298 00:20:49,681 --> 00:21:04,563 MOVE ON UP MOVE ON UP ♪ >> AMAZING. 299 00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:05,631 MOVE ON UP MOVE ON UP ♪ >> AMAZING. 300 00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:07,399 >> Stephen: WHAT? >> AMAZING. 301 00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:10,435 >> Stephen: QUITE LOVELY, ISN'T IT? 302 00:21:10,502 --> 00:21:12,504 NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. >> IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE. 303 00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:17,242 >> Stephen: WE HAVE SPOKEN A COUPLE OF TIMES OVER, YOU KNOW, 304 00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:21,546 LOCKDOWN, KIND OF QUARANTINE, COVID, BUT YOU ACTUALLY HAVEN'T 305 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,015 BEEN HERE FOR ALMOST THREE YEARS. 306 00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:25,384 IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU HERE AGAIN IN PERSON. 307 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:30,122 IT'S A SPECIAL SOMETHING. IT'S A MICRONUTRIENT I'M GETTING 308 00:21:30,188 --> 00:21:31,390 FOR RICKY GERVAIS BEING HERE IN PERSON. 309 00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:33,759 >> I HAVEN'T WON UNDERPANTS FOR THREE YEARS. 310 00:21:33,825 --> 00:21:37,095 >> Stephen: WHY START NOW? >> EVEN GETTING DRESSED NOW IS A 311 00:21:37,162 --> 00:21:38,964 BIT OF A CHORE. IT'S LOVELY TO BE HERE. 312 00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:43,869 >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU. HOW WAS YOUR-- OBVIOUSLY, COVID, 313 00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:48,273 LOCKDOWN IS NO FUN. >> BUT IT SORT OF SUITED ME. 314 00:21:48,340 --> 00:21:50,842 >> Stephen: IT SUITED YOU? >> I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE COMING TO 315 00:21:50,909 --> 00:21:51,843 THE HOUSE. >> Stephen: DO YOU LIKE PEOPLE 316 00:21:51,910 --> 00:21:56,381 AT ALL? >> THEY'RE NOT MY FAVORITE 317 00:21:56,448 --> 00:21:57,449 ANIMAL. ( LAUGHTER ) 318 00:21:57,516 --> 00:22:02,287 I DO LIKE PEOPLE. BUT AS LONG AS I COULD-- YEAH, I 319 00:22:02,354 --> 00:22:04,356 LIKE MY PRIVACY. I DON'T LIKE DOING MUCH. 320 00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:06,658 SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO GET OUT OF ANYTHING. 321 00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:09,261 PEOPLE STOPPED INVITING ME TO THINGS, WHICH IS GOOD. 322 00:22:09,327 --> 00:22:11,863 I COULD STILL WALK EVERY DAY TO MEET DOGS. 323 00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:15,200 IF THEY SAID YOU CAN'T TOUCH A DOG IN COVID, THAT WOULD BE A 324 00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:16,802 PROBLEM. BUT YOU HAVE TOO KEEP AWAY FROM 325 00:22:16,868 --> 00:22:18,937 PEOPLE, NOT A PROBLEM. NOT A PROBLEM. 326 00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:20,906 >> Stephen: THERE WAS A PERIOD OF TIME THEY WEREN'T SURE IF 327 00:22:20,972 --> 00:22:22,674 DOGS CARRIED IT, AND THAT WAS SCARY. 328 00:22:22,741 --> 00:22:26,211 >> I'D RISK CATCHING IT FOR DOGS. 329 00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:30,115 I WALKED IN CENTRAL PARK TODAY, I'VE BEEN THERE TWO DAYS, AND 330 00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:33,051 I'VE BEEN FOUL TIMES, AND I SCRUFFLE DOG S. 331 00:22:33,118 --> 00:22:36,254 >> Stephen: SCRUFFLE, IS THAT AN ENGLISH TERM? 332 00:22:36,321 --> 00:22:38,990 >> NO. THIS IS HOW WEIRD I AM. 333 00:22:39,057 --> 00:22:42,561 NOW, I FOUND OUT THEY CARRY A STICK AND THE DOG SEES THE STICK 334 00:22:42,627 --> 00:22:45,497 AND COMES OVER, I GIVE IT THE STICK, AND IT LOVES ME EVEN 335 00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:46,465 MORE. ( LAUGHTER ) 336 00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:51,870 >> Stephen: IT IS A LITTLE WEIRD. 337 00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:53,271 THAT'S LIKE CANDY FROM A STRANGER. 338 00:22:53,338 --> 00:22:55,607 THAT'S A LITTLE ODD. >> YEAH. 339 00:22:55,674 --> 00:22:59,044 >> Stephen: SPEAKING OF WEIRD, I WAS JUST REMINDED BY MY 340 00:22:59,111 --> 00:23:01,179 PRODUCER WHO WAS TALKING TO YOU EARLIER, WHEN YOU WERE HERE 341 00:23:01,246 --> 00:23:04,983 THREE YEARS AGO, WE USED TO DO THIS BIT ON THE SHOW CALLED 342 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,119 "PERSONAL SPACE." WE WOULD HAVE, LIKE, ONE OF THE 343 00:23:07,185 --> 00:23:10,489 STARS WHO WAS COMING ON THE SHOW, WE WOULD HAVE THEM-- I'LL 344 00:23:10,555 --> 00:23:15,026 SHOW YOU-- WE WOULD HAVE THEM STICK THEIR HEADS IN A BOX WITH 345 00:23:15,093 --> 00:23:19,397 ME, AND IT WAS CALLED "STEPHEN COLBERT'S PERSONAL SPACE," LIKE 346 00:23:19,464 --> 00:23:21,032 THAT. AND I CAN'T BELIEVE, SEEING HOW 347 00:23:21,099 --> 00:23:24,469 MUCH YOU'RE NOT HUGE FANS OF A PERSON OR PEOPLE THAT YOU DID 348 00:23:24,536 --> 00:23:27,105 THIS WITH ME. YOU TRULY DIDN'T SEEM TO ENJOY 349 00:23:27,172 --> 00:23:28,473 IT. >> NO, IT WAS HORRIBLE. 350 00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:34,946 ( LAUGHTER ) CLIP? 351 00:23:35,013 --> 00:23:37,015 HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN IMPOSSIBLE BURGER? 352 00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:39,217 >> THAT'S WHAT. >> Stephen: IT'S A VEGETARIAN 353 00:23:39,284 --> 00:23:40,352 BURGER. >> NO. 354 00:23:40,418 --> 00:23:42,387 >> Stephen: IT'S DELICIOUS. >> HAVE YOU EVER HAD ONE? 355 00:23:42,454 --> 00:23:43,922 >> NO. >> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE TO 356 00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:44,923 TRY ONE? >> YES. 357 00:23:44,990 --> 00:23:47,325 >> OKAY. ( LAUGHTER ) 358 00:23:47,392 --> 00:23:55,667 NO. ( LAUGHTER ) 359 00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:58,570 >> Stephen: OPEN YOUR MOUTH. OPEN YOUR MOUTH. 360 00:23:58,637 --> 00:24:00,472 >> NO! NO! 361 00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:04,976 YOU CAN'T-- LISTEN, THIS IS-- THIS-- HONESTLY. 362 00:24:05,043 --> 00:24:12,884 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: CAN YOU IMAGINE 363 00:24:12,951 --> 00:24:15,787 DOING THAT IN A POST-COVID WORLD? 364 00:24:15,854 --> 00:24:18,723 >> DON'T MAKE IT SOUND LIKE IT WAS NORMAL THEN. 365 00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:22,260 ( LAUGHTER ) IT WAS WEIRD AT THE TIME BEFORE 366 00:24:22,327 --> 00:24:23,795 COVID WAS INVENTED. >> Stephen: SURE. 367 00:24:23,862 --> 00:24:25,564 >> THAT WAS WEIRD. >> Stephen: SURE. 368 00:24:25,630 --> 00:24:29,401 BUT PEOPLE HAD A GOOD TIME. >> A MAN-- TALK ABOUT-- ME 369 00:24:29,467 --> 00:24:33,605 GIVING A STICK TO A DOG. A MAN GIVING ME A BURGER WITH 370 00:24:33,672 --> 00:24:34,372 HIS MOUTH. >> Stephen: IN A BOX. 371 00:24:34,439 --> 00:24:36,474 >> IN A BOX. >> Stephen: YES. 372 00:24:36,541 --> 00:24:41,279 ( LAUGHTER ) THINGS THAT YOU DO LOVE, YOU 373 00:24:41,346 --> 00:24:45,584 HAD-- YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL COSTAR, YOUR SERIES "AFTER LIFE" 374 00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:46,685 JUST RECENTLY ENDED. >> OH! 375 00:24:46,751 --> 00:24:48,753 >> Stephen: THERE'S YOUR BEAUTIFUL COSTAR. 376 00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:52,057 WHO IS THIS? WHO ARE WE LOOKING AT HERE? 377 00:24:52,123 --> 00:24:55,193 >> THIS IS-- THIS IS AUNT TILLY, WHO PLAYS BRANDY. 378 00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:58,496 SHE WAS 11 LAST MONTH. AND SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL 379 00:24:58,563 --> 00:24:59,197 DOG. YEAH. 380 00:24:59,264 --> 00:25:01,132 >> Stephen: WOW. IS IT HARD? 381 00:25:01,199 --> 00:25:04,302 SOMETIMES WHEN YOU END A SHOW, IT CAN FEEL LIKE A FAMILY, YOU 382 00:25:04,369 --> 00:25:06,338 KNOW, LIKE BREAKING UP A RELATIONSHIP. 383 00:25:06,404 --> 00:25:09,140 WHAT'S IT LIKE HAVING TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO A CAST MEMBER LIKE 384 00:25:09,207 --> 00:25:12,310 THIS? >> THE REST OF THE CAST I WAS 385 00:25:12,377 --> 00:25:15,447 SAYING GOOD-BYE-- WHATEVER-- AND WHEN I WENT TO HUG HER, THAT'S 386 00:25:15,513 --> 00:25:18,483 WHEN WE REALLY GOT EMOTIONAL. I WAS THINKING, SHE DOESN'T KNOW 387 00:25:18,550 --> 00:25:21,720 WHY SHE WON'T SEE ME NEXT WEEK. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 388 00:25:21,786 --> 00:25:26,124 SO I WAS WORRIED. BUT THEN, I SEE HER IN PUBLICITY 389 00:25:26,191 --> 00:25:28,927 AND STUFF. >> HOW DOES SHE REACT WHEN SHE 390 00:25:28,994 --> 00:25:32,397 SEES YOU? >> SHE RUNS STRAIGHT OVER TO ME. 391 00:25:32,464 --> 00:25:34,165 HONESTLY, THERE IS NOTHING AS BEAUTIFUL AS A DOG. 392 00:25:34,232 --> 00:25:35,800 YEAH. ( APPLAUSE ) 393 00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:41,239 QUICK BREAK, BUT WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE RICKY GERVAIS. 394 00:25:54,552 --> 00:25:57,022 ( APPLAUSE ). HERE AND WE'LL DO ONE MORE. 395 00:25:57,088 --> 00:26:01,459 HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK HERE WITH STAR OF STAGE AND SCREEN-- 396 00:26:01,526 --> 00:26:02,727 STAGE? STAGE. 397 00:26:02,794 --> 00:26:08,133 STAGE AND SCREEN, RICKY GERVAIS. YOU HAVE THIS NEW SPECIAL NOW 398 00:26:08,199 --> 00:26:09,234 CALLED "SUPERNATURE." >> YES. 399 00:26:09,301 --> 00:26:11,803 >> Stephen: AND YOU STARTED WORKING ON THIS IN 2018? 400 00:26:11,870 --> 00:26:12,671 >> YEAH. >> Stephen: OKAY. 401 00:26:12,737 --> 00:26:14,606 >> YEAH. >> Stephen: AND, OBVIOUSLY, 402 00:26:14,673 --> 00:26:17,943 HAD TO STOP-- HOW LONG DOES IT USUALLY TAKE YOU TO PUT TOGETHER 403 00:26:18,009 --> 00:26:21,947 A SHOW? >> WELL, I DO LIKE, 40 OR 50 OR 404 00:26:22,013 --> 00:26:28,219 EVEN MORE WARM-UPS, AND THEN I GO ON TOUR, AND I MIGHT DO 150 405 00:26:28,286 --> 00:26:30,422 GIGS. SO I'D DONE THE WARM-UP, I 406 00:26:30,488 --> 00:26:37,996 STARTED GIGGING THE END OF 18, AND IT STOPPED THE END OF 407 00:26:38,063 --> 00:26:43,902 FEBRUARY, AND STARTED AGAIN IN JULY '21, AND I FINISHED IT. 408 00:26:43,969 --> 00:26:48,073 >> Stephen: I'M GOING TO GUESS YOU HAVE NEVER TAKEN A TWO-YEAR 409 00:26:48,139 --> 00:26:49,274 BREAK WHILE WORKING ON A PROJECT? 410 00:26:49,341 --> 00:26:51,810 >> NO, NO. >> Stephen: WHAT DID IT DO TO 411 00:26:51,876 --> 00:26:54,846 A SHOW? DID YOU CHANGE THE JOKES? 412 00:26:54,913 --> 00:26:58,350 >> IT WAS ALWAYS EVOLVING. THERE WAS A THOUGHT, "WILL THIS 413 00:26:58,416 --> 00:27:00,618 BE OUT OF DATE?" AND I REALIZE WHEN YOU'RE 414 00:27:00,685 --> 00:27:04,723 DEALING WITH, YOU KNOW, FAMINE, AIDS, CANCER, HITLER, THOSE 415 00:27:04,789 --> 00:27:08,760 DUDES ARE EVERGREEN. >> Stephen: YEAH, SO THEY'RE 416 00:27:08,827 --> 00:27:10,095 NOT GOING TO. THEY DON'T DATE. 417 00:27:10,161 --> 00:27:12,864 >> Stephen: THERE IS NO AUDIENCE THAT ISN'T GOING TO 418 00:27:12,931 --> 00:27:17,569 LOVE THAT. >> BOOO! 419 00:27:17,635 --> 00:27:19,504 NOT HITLER! IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. 420 00:27:19,571 --> 00:27:24,743 >> Stephen: GET OVER IT! ( LAUGHTER ) 421 00:27:24,809 --> 00:27:29,647 YEAH, BUT YOU ALWAYS EVOLVE, YOU SPICE IT UP AND THINGS HAPPEN. 422 00:27:29,714 --> 00:27:32,784 >> Stephen: WHEN PEOPLE GO TO A RICKY GERVAIS COMEDY SHOW, DO 423 00:27:32,851 --> 00:27:36,287 YOU CALL IT A CONCERT, SHOW? >> YEAH, THEY START OFF SMALL, 424 00:27:36,354 --> 00:27:39,224 AND THEN THEY GET TO, LIKE, ARENAS. 425 00:27:39,290 --> 00:27:41,292 >> Stephen: WHEN SOMEBODY GOES, THEY HAVE TON YOU'RE GOING 426 00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:46,197 TO BE DEALING WITH SUBJECTS THAT SOME PEOPLE MIGHT FIND 427 00:27:46,264 --> 00:27:48,199 OFFENSIVE. LIKE YOU DON'T GO TO A RICKY 428 00:27:48,266 --> 00:27:50,668 GERVAIS CONCERT FOR JUST FEEL GOOD. 429 00:27:50,735 --> 00:27:54,406 >> THEY DO FEEL GOOD, AND THE AIM IS TO MAKE THEM LAUGH AND 430 00:27:54,472 --> 00:27:59,110 THEY DO LAUGH, BUT THEY KNOW I DEAL WITH TABU SUBJECTS, BUT I 431 00:27:59,177 --> 00:28:02,614 DEAL WITH TABOO SUBJECTS BECAUSE I WANT TO TAKE THE AUDIENCE TO A 432 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,250 PLACE THEY HAVEN'T BEEN BEFORE. AND I THINK PEOPLE GET OFFENDED 433 00:28:05,316 --> 00:28:09,421 WHEN THEY MISTAKE THE SUBJECT OF THE JOKE WITH THE ACTUAL TARGET, 434 00:28:09,487 --> 00:28:12,824 AND PEOPLE KNOW YOU CAN DEAL WITH ANY, PARTICULARLY WHEN 435 00:28:12,891 --> 00:28:15,660 DEALING WITH IRONY. IN THE NEW SHOW, I EXPLAIN IRONY 436 00:28:15,727 --> 00:28:19,264 AT THE BEGINNING AS A JOKE, JUST TO WARN THEM. 437 00:28:19,330 --> 00:28:20,799 AND THEY GET IT. >> Stephen: DO YOU MIND 438 00:28:20,865 --> 00:28:22,333 SHARING YOUR DEFINITION OF IRONY FOR US? 439 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:26,938 >> I CAN'T-- AND I SAY SOMETHING AND I SAY, "THAT WAS IRONY. 440 00:28:27,005 --> 00:28:28,673 THERE'S GOING TO BE A BIT OF THAT THROUGHOUT THE SHOW." 441 00:28:28,740 --> 00:28:34,679 AND THEN I SAY SOMETHING LIKE, "WHEN I SAY... I DON'T MEAN AS 442 00:28:34,746 --> 00:28:38,616 COMIC EFFECT, AND YOU AS AN AUDIENCE, YOU LAUGH AT THE WRONG 443 00:28:38,683 --> 00:28:41,953 THING BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT THE RIGHT THING IS. 444 00:28:42,020 --> 00:28:43,721 >> Stephen: YOU'RE PART OF THE GAME. 445 00:28:43,788 --> 00:28:47,258 >> HUMOR GETS US OVER BAD STUFF. THAT'S WHY I LAUGH ABOUT 446 00:28:47,325 --> 00:28:49,994 TERRIFYING BAD THINGS. YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHY COMEDIANS 447 00:28:50,061 --> 00:28:53,231 ARE OBSESSED WITH DEATH BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT GETS US THROUGH-- 448 00:28:53,298 --> 00:28:56,334 IT'S AN INOCULATION TO THE REAL THINGS THAT ARE GOING TO HAPPEN. 449 00:28:56,401 --> 00:29:00,405 AND I THINK WE SECOND GUESS, PARTICULARLY ON TELEVISION, EVEN 450 00:29:00,472 --> 00:29:04,776 IN AFTERLIFE, WHICH IS ABOUT A GUY WHO IS SUICIDAL BECAUSE HIS 451 00:29:04,843 --> 00:29:08,079 WIFEIDIZE OF CANCER. PEOPLE SAY, CAN THE PUBLIC TAKE 452 00:29:08,146 --> 00:29:09,747 THIS?" OF COURSE THEY CAN, BECAUSE REAL 453 00:29:09,814 --> 00:29:12,517 LIFE IS WORSE. REAL LIFE IS SCARIER. 454 00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:16,087 AND PEOPLE LIKE TO SEE THINGS EXPLORED AND THEY LIKE TO SEE 455 00:29:16,154 --> 00:29:18,723 THEMSELVES. AND I NEVER HAD A REACTION LIKE 456 00:29:18,790 --> 00:29:24,729 IT REQUEST "AFTER LIFE," AND PEOPLE SAY, "I LOST MOI MOM, OR 457 00:29:24,796 --> 00:29:27,632 I LOST MY HUSBAND," AND IT HELPED. 458 00:29:27,699 --> 00:29:29,534 THEY WANT TO SEE IT NOT COMPROMISED. 459 00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:34,672 THEY WANT TO LIVE THROUGH IT. AND IN FICTION, WE █CREATE OUR 460 00:29:34,739 --> 00:29:36,841 OWN HEROES AND VILLAINS, AS ROLE PLAYING FOR THE SOUL. 461 00:29:36,908 --> 00:29:39,644 WE GO THROUGH THOSE EMOTIONS AND IT MAKES US STRONGER. 462 00:29:39,711 --> 00:29:44,249 I THINK THAT'S WHAT IT'S FOR. THAT'S WHAT COMEDY IS FOR TO 463 00:29:44,315 --> 00:29:47,418 MAKE US FEEL GOOD. >> Stephen: I THINK IF IT'S AN 464 00:29:47,485 --> 00:29:49,387 HONEST HUMAN EXPERIENCE THAT YOU'RE DESCRIBING OR EXPLORING 465 00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:51,589 WITH YOUR JOKES, THE AUDIENCE RECOGNIZES IT. 466 00:29:51,656 --> 00:29:53,558 >> EXACTLY. >> Stephen: IT'S LIKE "I'M A 467 00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:56,694 HUMAN BEING, NOTHING HUMAN IS FOREIGN TO ME." 468 00:29:56,761 --> 00:29:58,363 >> YES. >> Stephen: SO IT'S NOT SO 469 00:29:58,429 --> 00:30:01,399 DARING AS IT IS UNIQUE. >> I DO-- I THINK I CELEBRATE 470 00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:03,801 ALL THE BEST AND WORST THINGS IN HUMANITY. 471 00:30:03,868 --> 00:30:06,571 I SAY WE'RE ALL IDIOTS, SO IT'S OKAY. 472 00:30:06,638 --> 00:30:08,840 AND I THINK THAT'S. >> Stephen: ISN'T THAT NICE? 473 00:30:08,907 --> 00:30:11,376 >> YEAH. >> Stephen: BACK TO YOUR LIKE, 474 00:30:11,442 --> 00:30:14,112 "I DON'T MEAN WHAT I'M SAYING BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT." 475 00:30:14,179 --> 00:30:16,848 >> YEAH. >> Stephen: WHEN I WAS-- I 476 00:30:16,915 --> 00:30:21,252 DIDN'T USED TO LIKE MY CHILDREN TO WATCH MY OLD SHOW "THE 477 00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:24,522 COLBERT REPORT" BECAUSE IT WAS A CHARACTER AND IT HAD MY NAME AND 478 00:30:24,589 --> 00:30:29,794 MY FACE, REQUEST AND I DIDN'T WANT THEM TO SEE ME AS A PURELY 479 00:30:29,861 --> 00:30:32,497 IRON IRONIC FIGURE AND ONE DAY I WAS ON THE PHONE WORKING ON A 480 00:30:32,564 --> 00:30:35,733 SCRIPT WITH A FRIEND OF MINE, AND I DIDN'T REALIZE MY DAUGHTER 481 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:39,537 WAS IN THE ROOM WATCHING THE ENTIRE TIME LISTENING, AND SHE 482 00:30:39,604 --> 00:30:42,674 WAS THE CORNER. AND I HUNG UP THE PHONE AND SHE 483 00:30:42,740 --> 00:30:46,678 WAS LOOKING AT ME LIKE THIS OUT OF THE CORNER OF HER EYE. 484 00:30:46,744 --> 00:30:49,814 AND I SAID, "WERE YOU LISTENING TO THAT?" 485 00:30:49,881 --> 00:30:54,419 AND SHE SAID, "UH-HUH. I THINK I UNDERSTAND." 486 00:30:54,485 --> 00:30:57,021 I SAID, "WHAT DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" 487 00:30:57,088 --> 00:30:59,224 SHE SAID, "YOU DON'T MEAN WHAT YOU'RE SAYING." 488 00:30:59,290 --> 00:31:05,230 AND I SAID, "THAT'S RIGHT, DADDY DOESN'T MEAN WHAT HE'S SAYING... 489 00:31:05,296 --> 00:31:06,664 FOR A LIVING." >> THAT'S IT. 490 00:31:06,731 --> 00:31:07,465 THAT'S IT. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A 491 00:31:07,532 --> 00:31:09,434 LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK. STICK AROUND. 492 00:31:26,884 --> 00:31:29,187 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK HERE WITH THE ONE, 493 00:31:29,254 --> 00:31:33,725 THE ONLY, RICKY GERVAIS. WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE 494 00:31:33,791 --> 00:31:38,529 TITLE "SUPERNATURE"? >> "SUPERNATURE," TWO REASONS. 495 00:31:38,596 --> 00:31:46,537 I TRY TO DEBUNK THE SUPERNATURAL. 496 00:31:46,604 --> 00:31:52,910 IF NOT NOW, THAN EVENTUALLY. >> Stephen: YOU MADE ME THINK 497 00:31:52,977 --> 00:31:55,246 OF SOMETHING THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH RELIGION. 498 00:31:55,313 --> 00:32:01,753 YOU ARE SO PREJUDGEY. YOU ARE SUCH A BIGOT. 499 00:32:01,819 --> 00:32:10,862 >> SUPERNATURE, BECAUSE I DON'T NEED ANGELS AND UNICORNS. 500 00:32:10,928 --> 00:32:13,731 IT'S A FACT. I DO ACTUALLY TALK QUITE A LOT 501 00:32:13,798 --> 00:32:17,735 ABOUT ANIMALS. I'M FASCINATED WITH ANIMALS. 502 00:32:17,802 --> 00:32:21,306 AND THE PLATYPUS PRODUCES EGGS AND MILK. 503 00:32:21,372 --> 00:32:25,777 AND IT COULD MAKE ITS OWN KUFTARD. 504 00:32:25,843 --> 00:32:30,548 ( LAUGHTER ). POISON. 505 00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:34,986 SO IT COULD BE A POISON KUFTARD. >> A POISON KUFTARD. 506 00:32:35,053 --> 00:32:37,588 THAT'S YOUR NEXT NOVEL. >> Stephen: I WAS GOING TO ASK 507 00:32:37,655 --> 00:32:40,758 YOU THE THING THAT WASN'T A RELIGIOUS MOMENT, EVERYTHING IS 508 00:32:40,825 --> 00:32:46,464 SORT OF AN EXPRESSION OF NATURE. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ARTIFICIAL 509 00:32:46,531 --> 00:32:47,999 INTELLIGENCE? DOES THAT WORRY YOU? 510 00:32:48,066 --> 00:32:52,170 IT DOESN'T WORRY ME THAT MUCH. IT'S ANOTHER CREATION BUT ALSO 511 00:32:52,236 --> 00:32:53,905 ANOTHER THING THAT HAPPENED IN NATURE. 512 00:32:53,971 --> 00:32:56,007 THERE'S NOTHING ARTIFICIAL ABOUT IT. 513 00:32:56,074 --> 00:32:58,176 IT'S AN EXPRESSION OF US, BECAUSE WE'RE PART OF NATURE. 514 00:32:58,242 --> 00:33:04,549 >> OH, YEAH, EXCEPT I THINK-- I DON'T KNOW IF I EVER WILL-- I 515 00:33:04,615 --> 00:33:07,585 DON'T THINK ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS QUITE THE SAME 516 00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:14,325 AS THE HUMAN BRAIN WORKS, FOR A START, BUT IT CAN BE A CLOSE 517 00:33:14,392 --> 00:33:15,827 FACSIMILE. IF YOU THINK OF INTELLIGENCE AS 518 00:33:15,893 --> 00:33:17,628 TRYING TO SOLVE PROBLEMS, THAT'S ALL IT IS. 519 00:33:17,695 --> 00:33:19,997 AND WE THINK WE'RE THE BEST BECAUSE WE'RE THE MOST 520 00:33:20,064 --> 00:33:23,735 INTELLIGENT. BUT I DON'T SEE THAT. 521 00:33:23,801 --> 00:33:29,207 I SEE US AS A PART OF NATURE. IF YOU GO AROUND I'M NOT EVOLVE 522 00:33:29,273 --> 00:33:31,142 ENOUGH, IT'S KNOT IT JUST PERFECT. 523 00:33:31,209 --> 00:33:34,112 IT'S GOT IT JUST RIGHT. WILL THERE BE ROBOTS THAT WILL 524 00:33:34,178 --> 00:33:43,888 FEEL PAIN AND CRY AND-- YEAH, PROBABLY. 525 00:33:43,955 --> 00:33:46,724 ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT ARTIFICIALLY INTELLIGENCE TAKING 526 00:33:46,791 --> 00:33:47,925 OVER? PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF A.I. 527 00:33:47,992 --> 00:33:57,735 I WOULD LOVE FOR ANY INTELLIGENCE TO TAKE OVER. 528 00:33:57,802 --> 00:34:01,973 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). >> Stephen: "SUPERNATURE" IS 529 00:34:02,039 --> 00:34:06,144 AVAILABLE MAY 24 ON NETFLIX. RICKY GERVAIS, EVERYBODY! 530 00:34:06,210 --> 00:34:09,781 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY TROMBONE SHORTY. 531 00:34:34,839 --> 00:34:38,142 >> PERFORMING THE TITLE TRACK FROM HIS NEW ALBUM, "LIFTED," 532 00:34:38,209 --> 00:34:43,948 TROMBONE SHORTY. 533 00:34:46,217 --> 00:34:52,223 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 534 00:34:52,290 --> 00:34:54,158 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 535 00:34:54,225 --> 00:34:59,163 ♪ I GOT THIS FUNNY FEELING LATELY 536 00:34:59,230 --> 00:35:04,235 ♪ WAY UP ABOUT 20,000 FEET 537 00:35:04,302 --> 00:35:09,240 ♪ BEEN DANCING WITH THIS GOLDEN LADY 538 00:35:09,307 --> 00:35:14,145 ♪ CAN'T SHAKE THIS FEELING SHE GOT A GRIP ON ME 539 00:35:14,212 --> 00:35:16,247 ♪ AND I WANT TO GO HIGH HIGH 540 00:35:16,314 --> 00:35:18,149 ♪ HIGH HIGH 541 00:35:18,216 --> 00:35:20,751 ♪ HIGH HIGH 542 00:35:20,818 --> 00:35:25,122 ♪ HIGH HIGH 543 00:35:25,189 --> 00:35:33,664 ♪ GET LIFTED, BABY BUT DON'T YOU FLOAT AWAY 544 00:35:33,731 --> 00:35:38,169 ♪ CAN'T CONTROL THIS, BABY GET LIFTED, BABY 545 00:35:38,236 --> 00:35:40,571 ♪ A MILLION MILES AWAY DRIVIN' ME SO CRAZY 546 00:35:40,638 --> 00:35:50,181 ♪ I ACT LIKE I DON'T NEED YOU, BABY 547 00:35:50,248 --> 00:35:57,488 ♪ BUT I KNOW YOUR EYES CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME 548 00:35:57,555 --> 00:35:59,056 ♪ GOT ME WIDE OPEN GOLDEN LADY 549 00:35:59,123 --> 00:36:04,161 ♪ CAN'T SHAKE THIS FEELING SHE GOT A GRIP ON ME 550 00:36:04,228 --> 00:36:06,163 ♪ AND I WANT TO GO HIGH HIGH 551 00:36:06,230 --> 00:36:12,103 ♪ HIGH HIGH 552 00:36:12,169 --> 00:36:13,271 ♪ HIGH HIGH 553 00:36:13,337 --> 00:36:14,238 ♪ HIGH HIGH 554 00:36:14,305 --> 00:36:20,678 ♪ GET LIFTED, BABY BUT DON'T YOU FLOAT AWAY 555 00:36:20,745 --> 00:36:26,150 ♪ CAN'T CONTROL THIS, BABY GET LIFTED, BABY 556 00:36:26,217 --> 00:36:34,158 ♪ A MILLION MILES AWAY DRIVIN' ME SO CRAZY 557 00:36:34,225 --> 00:36:46,103 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( TROMBONE ) 558 00:36:46,170 --> 00:36:57,615 ♪ HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY 559 00:36:57,682 --> 00:36:58,282 ♪ AND I WANT TO GO HIGH HIGH 560 00:36:58,349 --> 00:37:04,221 ♪ HIGH HIGH 561 00:37:04,288 --> 00:37:09,360 ♪ HIGH ♪ ♪ ♪ 562 00:37:09,427 --> 00:37:14,165 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ GET LIFTED, BABY 563 00:37:14,231 --> 00:37:22,173 BUT DON'T YOU FLOAT AWAY ♪ CAN'T CONTROL THIS, BABY 564 00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:28,245 GET LIFTED, BABY ♪ A MILLION MILES AWAY 565 00:37:28,312 --> 00:37:37,788 DRIVIN' ME SO CRAZY ♪ GET LIFTED, 566 00:37:37,855 --> 00:37:40,224 BUT DON'T YOU FLOAT AWAY ♪ CAN'T CONTROL THIS, BABY 567 00:37:40,291 --> 00:37:46,163 GET LIFTED, BABY 568 00:37:46,230 --> 00:37:48,666 ♪ A MILLION MILES AWAY DRIVIN' ME SO CRAZY ♪ 569 00:37:48,733 --> 00:37:52,236 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 570 00:37:52,303 --> 00:37:54,105 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 571 00:37:54,171 --> 00:37:54,672 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 572 00:37:54,739 --> 00:37:55,239 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 573 00:37:55,306 --> 00:38:08,986 ♪ 574 00:38:10,221 --> 00:38:13,858 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) EVERYBODY! 575 00:38:13,924 --> 00:38:15,493 THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST 576 00:38:15,559 --> 00:38:17,962 WILL BE SECRETARY OF STATE ANTONY BLINKEN. 577 00:38:18,029 --> 00:38:18,696 GOOD NIGHT. 578 00:38:52,296 --> 00:38:56,233 HAVE YOU ROCKED AN ACORDIAN? -I HAVE ROCKED AN ACORDIAN. 579 00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:58,836 WOW, WOW. -YEAH 580 00:38:58,903 --> 00:39:01,872 YOU SEEM AS SURPRISED AS I AM. 581 00:39:01,939 --> 00:39:05,009 IT WAS LIKE 7 YEARS AGO. 582 00:39:05,076 --> 00:39:10,114 SURE, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. 583 00:39:10,181 --> 00:39:14,952 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY SAY. SOMEONE ELSE WOULD FILL IT IN.