TECH BILLIONARE ELON MUSK PUSHING BACK AGAINST ALLEGATIONS
THAT HE SEXUALLY HARASSED A SpaceX FLIGHT ATTENDANT IN
2016. >> MUSK ALLEGEDLY EXPOSED
HIMSELF TO THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT DURING A MASSAGE AND THEN
OFFERED TO BUY HER A HORSE IN EXCHANGE FOR SEX ACTS.
>> SpaceX EMPLOYEES -- GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR C.E.O. ELON MUSK!
>> GOOD AFTERNOON. TODAY, I WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY
SOMETHING TO ALL QUIEWF, MY STAFF, AND THAT IS, UM, WHAT
SEXUAL FAVOR I AM SEEKING WHEN I OFFER WHICH ANIMAL.
REMEMBER, THEY ALL RHYME. A HORSE MEANS INTERCOURSE.
IF I GIVE YOU A REASON BIT, GO AHEAD AND GRAB IT.
AND THEN, OF COURSE, A STICK BUG FOR A QUICK TUG.
NOW, ANYONE WHO IS UPSET THEY WEREN'T OFFERED AN ANIMAL CAN
STOP BY MY OFFICE AND I WILL PERSONALLY GIVE YOU CRABS.
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!
TONIGHT, MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO. PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES JENNIFER
CONNELLY! AND PATTI LUPONE!
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN."
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( THEME SONG PLAYING ) WA>> Stephen: WATCH OUT, WATCH
OUT! EVERY MONDAY.
HELLO, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
( AUDIENCE CHANTING STEPHEN ) >> Stephen: WELCOME ONE AND
ALL DOWN HERE, UP THERE, HIGH AND AWAY UP THERE.
HELLO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GOOD TO SEE YOU.
WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I AM YOUR SHOWS STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
FOLKS, IF YOU WATCH THIS SHOW REGULARLY, AND I HOPE YOU DO,
YOU KNOW THAT I TRY TO HAVE A PRETTY POSITIVE OUTLOOK ON THE
WORLD, SUCH AS IT IS. I SEE THE GLASS AS HALF FULL.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE LIQUID IS, AND I'M NOT DRINKING IT.
BUT IT'S HALF FULL. BUT CURRENT EVENTS HAVE ME
FEELING A LITTLE UNSETTLED, AND A LITTLE 'FLURPY,' ABOUT
AMERICA'S FUTURE. AND I'M NOT ALONE.
ACCORDING TO A RECENT CBS NEWS-YOUGOV-MOUNTAIN DEW: CODE
RED- POLL, AMERICA'S MOOD IS UNEASY AND WORRIED.
THINGS ARE SO STRESSFUL OUR NATIONAL BIRD IS NOW THE
'BALDING EAGLE.' ( APPLAUSE )
SO IT'S GOOD. LONG MAY HE WAVE.
JUST GOING TO SAVE IT? ( LAUGHTER )
ACCORDING TO THE POLL, 74% OF AMERICANS SAY THINGS IN AMERICA
ARE GOING BADLY, AND 65% OF AMERICANS SAY THAT WHEN
IMPORTANT THINGS COME UP, PRESIDENT BIDEN IS SLOW TO ACT.
WELL, YEAH. HE'S 79.
( LAUGHTER ) AT HIS AGE IF HE MOVES TOO FAST,
HE'LL GET BRUISED BY HIS SHIRT. ( LAUGHTER )
THE G.O.P. DOESN'T FARE WELL EITHER, BECAUSE THE REPUBLICANS
ARE DESCRIBED BY A MAJORITY AS EXTREME.
THE GOP RESPONDED: THIS POLL IS ILLEGITIMATE.
NO ONE FEELS THAT WAY. AND WHEN WE RETURN TO POWER,
ANYONE WHO FEELS THAT WAY WILL BE SORRY WHEN WE MAKE THE PURGE
REAL. ( LAUGHTER )
GOOD MOVIE, THOUGH. QUALITY MOVIE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SPEAKING OF THE PRESIDENT
DEALING WITH OUR PROBLEMS, HE LEFT US.
HE'S IN ASIA. THIS WEEKEND, HE WAS IN SOUTH
KOREA, AND DURING A PRESS CONFERENCE, HE WAS ASKED ABOUT
THE THREAT THAT NORTH KOREA MIGHT SHOOT OFF SOME MISSILES
WHILE HE'S THERE. >> DO YOU HAVE A FOR KIM JONG UN
WHILE YOU'RE HERE? >> HELLO.
PERIOD. ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: FIRST OF ALL, WHO'S IDEA WAS IT TO HOLD A
PRESS CONFERENCE IN FRONT OF A RAGING WATERFALL?
THAT'S WHAT YOU DO IF YOU'RE A MOBSTER AND YOU'RE AFRAID
SOMEBODY'S WEARING A WIRE. TODAY, HE HELD A PRESS
CONFERENCE NEXT TO A GUY OPERATING A JACKHAMMER.
AND THAT MESSAGE ITSELF, HELLO, HAS GOT TO BE PRETTY
DISAPPOINTING FOR KIM JONG-UN. HE SPENT FOUR YEARS BEING THE
FOCUS OF US FOREIGN POLICY, GETTING LOVE LETTERS FROM THE
PREVIOUS PRESIDENT. AND ALL HE GETS FROM BIDEN IS
HELLO? IT'S THE MOST CASUAL
PRESIDENTIAL GREETING OF AN ADVERSARY SINCE REAGAN AT THE
BERLIN WALL: >> MR GORBACHEV, HOW'S IT
HANGING, BRO? ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: HOUSE OF IT HANGIN'?
I REMEMBER HOW IT HUNG. HOW IT HANGED.
TO THE RIGHT? BUT NORTH KOREA'S NOT THE ONLY
FOREIGN POWER BIDEN HAS A FOR. TODAY, WHILE IN TOKYO, HE WAS
ASKED THIS HYPOTHETICAL ABOUT CHINA ATTACKING TAIWAN:
>> ARE YOU WILLING TO GET INVOLVED MILITARILY TO DEFEND
TAIWAN IF IT COMES TO THAT? >> YES.
>> STEPHEN: GULP. ( LAUGHTER )
COME ON, JOE, WE HAVE ENOUGH GOING ON.
IT'S LIKE THAT OLD COCO CHANEL SAYING: BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE
HOUSE, LOOK IN THE MIRROR. AND DON'T GO TO WAR WITH CHINA.
( LAUGHTER ) BIDEN'S VERY BLUNT STATEMENT
SURPRISED MANY, INCLUDING THE REPORTER WHO ASKED IT, SO SHE
FOLLOWED UP. >> YOU ARE?
>> THAT'S A COMMITMENT WE MADE. >> STEPHEN: HE SOUNDS SO
RESIGNED. (AS GRANDPA)
"I KNOW THE SPARK HAS GONE OUT OF OUR MARRIAGE, DORIS, BUT IT'S
A COMMITMENT WE MADE, SO LET'S GO UPSTAIRS AND DO THE NASTY, I
GUESS. OR RIGHT HERE ON THE KITCHEN
COUNTER. IT'S NOT LIKE THE KIDS ARE
AROUND ANYMORE TO INTERRUPT." ( LAUGHTER )
BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE THE US HAS HISTORICALLY WARNED
CHINA NOT TO USE FORCE AGAINST TAIWAN WHILE GENERALLY REMAINING
VAGUE ABOUT HOW FAR IT WOULD GO, IN A POLICY CALLED, STRATEGIC
AMBIGUITY. JOHNNY, TELL THEM WHAT STRATEGIC
AMBIGUITY MEANS. >> IF YOU INVADE TAIWAN
YOU'LL GET WHATEVER'S IN THE MYSTERY BOX.
IT COULD BE A NUCLEAR STRIKE OR A BROYHILL DINETTE SET.
MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON OUR SOULS STEVE.
>> STEPHEN: THANK YOU, JOHNNY. ( APPLAUSE )
SO, IT SEEMS LIKE BIDEN MIGHT HAVE STEPPED IN IT JUST A
LITTLE, WHICH MIGHT BE WHY, AFTER HIS VERY FIRM YES, HE DID
THE BACKSTROKE: >> LOOK, HERE'S THE SITUATION:
WE AGREE WITH A ONE CHINA POLICY.
BUT THE IDEA THAT IT COULD BE TAKEN BY FORCE, JUST TAKEN BY
FORCE IS JUST NOT APPROPRIATE. IT WILL DISLOCATE THE ENTIRE
REGION AND BE ANOTHER ACTION, SIMILAR TO WHAT HAPPENED IN
UKRAINE. AND, SO, IT'S A BURDEN THAT IS
EVEN STRONGER. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) >> STEPHEN: I WOULD DESCRIBE THE
BIDEN FOREIGN POLICY AS WISTFUL ANXIETY.
( LAUGHTER ) HE'S JUST FOLLOWING TEDDY
ROOSEVELT'S FAMOUS DICTUM: SPEAK SOFTLY.
( LAUGHTER ) WHILE THE PRESIDENT WAS IN ASIA,
HE ADDRESSED THE HOT NEW VIRUS EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT.
I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT IT IN OUR UNFORTUNATELY RECURRING SEGMENT:
PLANET OF THE MONKEYPOX! TAKE YOUR STINKING POCKS OFF ME
YOU DAMN DIRTY APRIL! >> Stephen: WHILE HE WAS IN
KOREA, THE PRESIDENT WAS ASKED ABOUT THE
DISEASE, AND SAID THAT EVERYBODY SHOULD BE CONCERNED.
WAY AHEAD OF YOU. ( LAUGHTER )
AND I UNDERSTAND WHY, BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE THAN 190
CONFIRMED OR SUSPECTED CASES IN 16 COUNTRIES, INCLUDING THE
U.K., PORTUGAL, GERMANY, BELGIUM, FRANCE, THE
NETHERLANDS, ITALY, SWEDEN, AND SPAIN.
EVIDENTLY, MONKEYPOX IS TRAVELING THROUGH EUROPE.
EVEN WORSE, IT NOW INSISTS ON PRONOUNCING IT 'BARTH-AY-LONA.'
( LAUGHTER ) DRIVING IN A LAURIE.
MONKEYPOX HAS ALSO MONKEYED ITS WAY OVER TO AMERICA, WHERE THERE
IS NOW A THIRD CASE IN FLORIDA. BUT THAT'S FINE, BECAUSE FLORIDA
KNOWS HOW TO HANDLE A DISEASE OUTBREAK, RIGHT GOVERNOR RON
DE SANTIS? >> COVID, I VIEW AS A VERY MINOR
RISK OKAY WE'RE DEAD. >> Stephen: OKAY, WE'RE ALL
DEAD. ( LAUGHTER )
>> STEPHEN: THERE'S A REASON MONKEYPOX HAS BEEN SPREADING SO
QUICKLY. ACCORDING ONE INFECTIOUS DISEASE
EXPERT AT THE W-H-O, IT HAS GOTTEN INTO THE POPULATION AS A
SEXUAL FORM, AS A GENITAL FORM. I'M NO DOCTOR, BUT I KNOW THAT
THE GENITAL FORM OF SOMETHING IS ALWAYS THE WORST FORM.
(AS DOCTOR) "MISTER SMITH, I'M SORRY, BUT IT
LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE A SINUS INFECTION.
THE GENITAL FORM. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) HERE'S A NASAL SPRAY.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE WHERE IT GOES."
( LAUGHTER ) THANKS TO OUR MEDDLING GENITALS,
THIS COULD JUST KEEP SPREADING. THE W.H.O. IS CONCERNED
MONKEYPOX COULD ACCELERATE DURING SUMMER MONTHS WITH MASS
GATHERINGS LIKE FESTIVALS. SO BE CAREFUL AROUND
PRIMATE-THEMED FESTIVALS LIKE LOLLAPA-LEMUR
CHIMP-CHELLA AND BONOBO-ROO.
( LAUGHTER ) THERE'S GOOD NEWS FOR BABIES,
AND IT'S NOT JUST THAT I NEVER REALLY HAD YOUR NOSE.
SORRY FOR THE MIXUP. BECAUSE TO HELP RELIEVE THE
COUNTRY'S ONGOING FORMULA SHORTAGE, ON SUNDAY, THE US
MILITARY AIRLIFTED BABY FORMULA FROM EUROPE.
THAT IS A SHOCKING HEADLINE. THE UNITED STATES, THE LAND OF
THE FREE AND THE HOME OF UNLIMITED BREADSTICKS, HAS BEEN
FORCED TO AIRLIFT FORMULA FROM EUROPE BECAUSE WE CAN'T FEED OUR
BABIES. IF I TOLD YOU FIVE YEARS AGO
THIS WAS HAPPENING, YOU'D SAY, THAT'S GOTTA BE THE WORST NEWS
OF THE DAY. THEN I WOULD TELL YOU ABOUT
GENITAL MONKEYPOX. ( LAUGHTER )
WHICH ALSO CAME FROM EUROPE. WHICH WE ALSO GOT FROM EUROPE.
BUT THANKS TO OUR EUROPEAN FRIENDS, OUR BABIES ARE READY TO
CHOW DOWN ON 132 PALLETS OF FORMULA FROM ZURICH,
SWITZERLAND. OH, AND THE SWISS FORMULA IS THE
BEST. IT'S GOT THOSE LITTLE
MARSHMALLOWS. ( LAUGHTER )
I'M BEING TOLD WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED FOOTAGE OF
THE FLIGHT LANDING. >> BRRRRRRRRRR, HERE COMES THE
PLANE. HERE IT COMES.
OPEN UP NOM NOM NOM SPEAKING OF SNOOD SPEAKING OF WHINEY LITTLE
BABIES, BILLIONAIRES. ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY, DURING
THE COVID PANDEMIC, A NEW BILLIONAIRE WAS CREATED EVERY 30
HOURS. AND NONE OF THEM WERE ME.
I'M BEGINNING TO GET THIS WHOLE INCOME INEQUALITY THING.
SPECIFICALLY, BETWEEN MARCH 2020 AND MARCH 2022, 573 PEOPLE
BECAME NEW BILLIONAIRES, INCLUDING 40 NEW PHARMACEUTICAL
BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS SAD.
YOU KNOW THEY'RE JUST GONNA BLOW IT ALL ON DRUGS.
WE ALSO SAW THE ADDITION OF 62 NEW FOOD BILLIONAIRES.
WE ACTUALLY HAVE A REACTION FROM ONE SUCH BILLIONAIRE.
>> IIIIIIIII'M RICH, BITCH! >> Stephen: BEV GOT A GREAT
SHOW. MY GUESTS ARE JENNIFER CONNELLY
AND PATTI LUPONE. WHEN WE COME BACK, ARE
CELEBRITIES SCAMMING YOU ABOUT CRYPTO?
STAY TUNED AFTER THE CELEBRITY CRYPTO COMMERCIALS.
WE'LL FIND OUT.
>> Stephen: GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND, EVERYBODY!
THAT'S LOUIS CATO, AND EVERYBODY ELSE IN "STAY HUMAN"!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WE'VE GOT TWO TREMENDOUS GUESTS
TONIGHT, LOUIS, I'M VERY EXITED.
>> YES, WE DO. >> Stephen: THESE TWO WOMEN
ARE AMAZING. OSCAR WINNER JENNIFER CONNELLY
IS HERE. SHE'S IN THE NEW "TOP GUN"
MOVIE. AND BROADWAY ROYALTY, PATTI
LUPONE IS OUT HERE, SHE'S IN A REVIVAL OF "COMPANY" DOWN THE
STREET. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.
BEFORE WE GO ON WITH THE REST OF THE SHOW, I WANT TO TAKE A
MOMENT TO GIVE A SHOUTOUT TO OUR PORKD OUT THERE FOR THOSE OF YOU
WHO LISTEN WHICH IS EVERYONE, AT THIS POINT.
OUR PODCAST IS EVERY EPISODE OF "THE LATE SHOW" PLUS OTHER STUFF
YOU DON'T GET IN "THE LATE SHOW" PODCAST -- I MEAN THAT DON'T GET
IN THE SHOW, SPECIAL STUFF LIKE ME EXPLAINING THIS RIGHT NOW.
MAYBE NOT ON THE SHOW. YOU CAN LISTEN TO IT SEVEN DAYS
A WEEK. THE REASON I BRING THAT UP IS
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO LIKES OUR PODCAST, SO DO THE PEOPLE,
BECAUSE WE JUST WON A WEBBY AWARD.
WE WON A WEBBY AWARD. ( APPLAUSE )
LOOK AT THAT. PRACTICAL.
USE THIS. IF YOUR SUSPENSION GOES OUT ON
YOUR JEEP YOU CAN PUT THIS RIGHT IN.
WE WON, THIS IS THE PEOPLE'S VOICE AWARD FOR INTERVIEW/TALK
SHOW PODCAST AND AN HONOREE IN THE PODCAST CATEGORY.
THANK YOU EVERYONE. ( APPLAUSE )
SO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IF YOU'RE A
DAREDEVIL INVESTOR, THEN YOU KNOW IT'S BEEN A BUMPY RIDE
RECENTLY FOR CRYPTOCURRENCY. BITCOIN IS DOWN 59% FROM ITS
ALL-TIME HIGH, AND ETHEREUM IS DOWN 60 PERCENT.
THERE'S ALSO BEEN A BIG DROP IN AMAZE-EUM, AND
I-JUST-MADE-THAT-UP-EUM. ( LAUGHTER )
WITH CRYPTO CRASHING, IF YOU OWN A NONFUNGIBLE TOKEN, OR N.F.T.,
YOU ARE SOOO FUNGED. BECAUSE, EVIDENTLY,
CELEBRITY-ENDORSED N.F.T.S ARE LEAVING INVESTORS FINANCIALLY
CRIPPLED. EVEN WORSE, THE N.F.T.'S THAT DO
STILL HAVE VALUE JUST CAUGHT MONKEYPOX.
REPORTEDLY, SOME CELEBRITIES HAVE GOTTEN BIG MONEY TO ENDORSE
N.F.T.'S-- FOR INSTANCE, BORED BUNNY N.F.T.S ENDORSED BY FLOYD
MAYWEATHER. THERE'S NO BETTER SOURCE OF
LONG-TERM FINANCIAL ADVICE THAN FROM A MAN WHO MADE HIS MONEY
GETTING PUNCHED IN THE HEAD. AND WHILE WE'RE HERE, WHY BORED
BUNNY? DO ALL N.F.T. ANIMALS HAVE TO BE
BORED? WHY CAN'T WE BE RIPPED OFF BY
SOMETHING WITH A LITTLE MORE ZAZZ, LIKE A MILDLY-INTERESTED
MARMOT, OR AN EMO EMU? NOW, WHEN MAYWEATHER FIRST
ENDORSED BORED BUNNIES, EACH N.F.T. COST ABOUT $1500.
NOW, A BORED BUNNY WILL FETCH YOU $104.09.
PAINFUL. BUT NOT NEARLY AS PAINFUL AS
HAVING TO TELL YOUR KIDS: YOU WON'T BE ATTENDING COLLEGE
BECAUSE DADDY BOUGHT A PICTURE OF A RABBIT WITH A MACHINE GUN
AND A PACIFIER. ( LAUGHTER )
OF COURSE, I CAN SEE WHY PEOPLE GOT DUPED.
IF YOU GO TO THE BORED BUNNY WEBSITE, YOU'LL SEE THEIR
PROMISE: TOGETHER, LET'S BUILD THE BEST EXCLUSIVE CLUB NEVER
SEEN BEFORE. SHOW TO THE WORLD HOW STRONG AND
INFLUENT WE ARE. ( LAUGHTER )
IF YOU FELL FOR THAT, I'M GUESSING YOU WERE UNDER THE
INFLUENT. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) IT'S A RED FLAG WHEN YOUR
RETIREMENT PLAN DOESN'T HAVE A GREAT GRASP OF GRAMMAR.
REMINDS ME OF CAPITAL ONE'S FAILED AD CAMPAIGN:
CAP PAL ONE -- WHAT WALLET INSIDE?
LOUD AND POWER IN! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
JENNIFER CONNELLY. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HEY! WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST IS AN ACADEMY
AWARD-WINNING ACTRESS YOU KNOW FROM "LABYRINTH," "A BEAUTIFUL
MIND," AND "SNOWPIERCER." SHE NOW STARS IN
"TOP GUN: MAVERICK." PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE
SHOW, JENNIFER CONNELLY ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING ) >> HI!
>> Stephen: HI. NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO.
>> NICE TO SEE ALL OF YOU! >> Stephen: LOVELY TO HAVE YOU
BACK. YOU KNOW, YOU'VE STARTED OFF
YOUR SUMMER IN A BIG WAY BECAUSE THE TOP GUN OVER THERE, THE "TOP
GUN: MAVERICK, SIX-MINUTE STANDING OVATION IN THE END AND
THOSE FRENCH DON'T GIVE THAT AWAY FOR NOTHING.
>> IT WAS AMAZING. THE ENERGY WAS PALPABLE,
UNBELIEVABLE. I'VE SEEN THE MOVIE THREE TIMES
WITH AUDIENCES. >> Stephen: YES.
AND EVERY TIME, PEOPLE ARE JUST READY TO HAVE A GREAT TIME
IN THE MOVIE THEATER, I THINK. >> Stephen: HAVE YOU SEEN IT
IN AN I MAX? I HAVE BEEN TOLD GO SEW THAT.
>> YES. I THINK WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN ABLE
TO DO WITH THE FLYING SEQUENCES IS SO IMPACTFUL.
>> Stephen: IT ALL HAPPENS. ALL THE ACTORS PLAYING PILOTS
WENT THROUGH TRAINING, THEY'RE UP THERE IN THE PLANES AND YOU
CAN FEEL IT. >> Stephen: I'VE GOT TO ASK A
VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION -- AT ANY POINT IN THIS MOVIE -- AND
DON'T GIVE ANYTHING AWAY -- BUT AT ANY POINT, DOES ANYONE IN
THIS MOVIE T TAKE A HIGHWAY TO E DANGER ZONE OR AN OFF RAMP TO A
PERILOUS JUNCTION OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
IS THERE DANGER ZONE IN THE MOVIE?
>> SO MUCH DANGER ZONE. >> Stephen: GOOD.
THEN YOU GO TO LONDON. THE ROYAL PREMIERE.
>> THE ROYAL PREMIERE. WHICH IS VERY SPECIAL.
>> Stephen: WITH KATE AND WILLIAM.
HAD YOU EVER MET THEM? >> I HAD NOT.
>> Stephen: YOU MUST LOVE THIS PHOTO.
TELL THE FOLKS. >> THE LAST TIME I WAS AT A
WORLD PREMIERE WAS IN 1986, AND I MET DIANA FOR THE MOVIE
"LABYRINTH," WHICH I WAS A TEENAGER WHEN I MADE.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A NICE PHOTO.
>> YEAH. ( APPLAUSE )
YOU CAN SEE HOW PINK MY CHEEKS ARE.
I WAS SO OVERWHELMED MEETING HER.
>> Stephen: SHE SEEM NICE? HE WAS IMPECCABLE.
SHE WAS IMPECCABLE. >> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT SO BAD
YOURSELF HERE. >> OH, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: AGE 16, THAT'S THE SAME YEAR "TOP GUN" CAME OUT.
>> SAME YEAR, A LITTLE BIT OF TRIVIA THERE.
>> Stephen: DID YOU WATCH THE ORIGINAL BACK IN THE DAY.
>> I WATCHED THE ORIGINAL BACK IN THE DAY AND I'VE REWATCHED IT
SEVERAL TIMES. >> Stephen: I BET.
IS THERE SHIRTLESS VOLLEYBALL IN THIS ONE?
>> THERE MIGHT BE SHIRTLESS SOMETHING OR ANOTHER.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: HAD YOU MET TOM --
I CALL HIM TOM -- HAD YOU MET TOM CRUISE?
I HAD NEVER MET HIM. >> HE'S EXTRAORDINARY.
I HADN'T. >> Stephen: HOW DID YOU NOT
CROSS PATHS BY ACCIDENT. >> I DON'T THINK ANYTHING
HAPPENS BY ACCIDENT. THE PREPARATION, THE SKILL,
EVERYTHING IS EXTRAORDINARY. BUT I MET HIM AND MY FIRST
IMPRESSION WAS KIND OF THE TAKEWEAR, WHICH IS I NEVER MET
ANYONE MORE ENTHUSIASTIC THAN EVERYTHING THAN TOM CRUISE.
>> Stephen: WOW. I THINK FOR ME IT WOULD PROBABLY
BE THE TEETH. SO BEAUTIFUL.
SUCH BEAUTIFUL TEETH. ( LAUGHTER )
IT'S TRUE. YOU'VE GOT TO GRANT ME THAT.
>> BEAUTIFUL TEETH. >> Stephen: YOU'RE NO SLOUCH
YOURSELF. THOSE ARE NICE GNASHERS.
( LAUGHTER ) "TOP GUN," THE ORIGINAL, AND
THEY REALLY KICKED IT UP A NOTCH.
BUT YOU'RE NOT A HUGE FAN OF FLYING?
>> NO, I'M NOT A BIG FAN OF FLYING, AND I ACTUALLY WENT
THROUGH A STAGE ARE I WAS INCREDIBLY BAD AT FLYING.
IT WAS VERY TRAUMATIC FOR ME AND ANYONE NEAR ME ON AN AIRPLANE.
I LITERALLY GOT TO A POINT WHERE I -- IT STARTED WITH A BANG ON
ONE FLIGHT WHEN WE TOOK OFF AND I JUST DECIDED IT WASN'T OKAY
AND I SHOUTED THAT IT WASN'T OKAY TO THE WHOLE PLANEFUL OF
PEOPLE. >> Stephen: YOU SHOUTED WHAT,
THIS ISN'T OKAY? >> HELP!
HELP! AND NO ONE CAME BECAUSE WE WERE
TAKING OFF. >> Stephen: AND YOUR NAME WAS
ON A LIST SOMEWHERE. >> IT WAS THE BEGINNING OF A BAD
CHAPTER. >> Stephen: I KNOW YOU'RE NOT
A PILOT, BUT DID YOU GO UP AND FLY WITH THE JETS OR ANYTHING
LIKE THAT? >> I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BUT
THERE WAS A VERY LOVELY SCENE WHERE TOM AND I ARE IN THIS
PLANE, WE'RE SUPPOSED COBB JUST SITTING ON THE TARMAC AND HE
STARTS TALKING TO ME ABOUT THIS PLANE, IT'S A P51, A VINTAGE
PLANE, IT HAPPENS TO BE HIS PLANE AND HAVE I EVER DONE ANY
AEROBATIC FLYING AND AM I INTERESTED IN AEROBATIC FLYING
AND I START TO BECOME SUSPICIOUS I'M GOING TO BE DOING AEROBATIC
FLAYING AND I SAID, AM I? HE SAID, IT'S GOING TO BE VERY
BEAUTIFUL. WE'RE GOING TO DO VERY GENTLE,
GRACEFUL ROLLS IN THE PLANE AND --
>> Stephen: WOW. -- AND IT'S TOM.
SO YOU'RE TRYING TO BE A LITTLE BIT COOL AROUND HIM.
>> Stephen: YEAH. O I DIDN'T SAY, HOLD ON,
WAIT, I HAVE A TERRIBLE FEAR OF FLYING.
I SAID, YEAH, THAT'S COOL. IT WILL BE GREAT.
>> Stephen: DID YOU TAKEOFF AT THAT MOMENT?
>> NO. >> Stephen: I THOUGHT MAYBE HE
TRAPPED YOU AND SAID LET'S GO. >> NO, THEY PLANNED FOR IT.
>> Stephen: WAS IT BEAUTIFUL AND GRAISMS AND EVERYTHING YOU
WANTED IT TO BE? >> HONESTLY -- LOOK, WE STARTED,
AND HE STARTED THE ENGINE AND FLAMES BURST OUT.
THAT SURPRISED ME DEFINITELY. >> Stephen: BUT THAT'S
SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. >> EVIDENTLY, YEAH.
HE FORGET TO TELL ME THAT THAT MIGHT HAPPEN.
>> Stephen: YEAH. IT ACTUALLY WAS.
WE TOOK OFF AND IT WAS DAWN AND WE WERE IN THE DESERT AND IT WAS
KIND OF BEAUTIFUL. >> Stephen: FANTASTIC.
TOM, I'LL GO UP WITH YOU. ( LAUGHTER )
JUST TRYING TO TEMPT HIM IN SOME WAY.
YEAH. WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK,
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I WILL ASK JENNIFER IF SHE, LIKE TOM,
DOES HER OWN STUNTS. STICK AROUND.
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK HERE WITH JENNIFER
CONNELLY FROM "TOP GUN: MAVERICK.
OBVIOUSLY, MR. CRUISE FAMOUSLY DOES HIS OWN STUNTS.
>> YES. >> Stephen: I DO, TOO.
BUT DO YOU DO YOUR OWN STUNTS? BECAUSE THERE'S A LITTLE ACTION
SEQUENCE, A BIT OF AN ACTION SEQUENCE HERE, AND I WANT TO
KNOW IF THIS IS REALLY YOU DOING THIS HERE.
YOU'RE NOT A PILOT, BUT YOU PILOT SOMETHING.
>> I. DO I'M AT THE HELM OF A VESSEL.
>> Stephen: JIM. WE HAVE TO.
I CAN'T GO. WHAT DO YOU MEAN.
TEST TOMORROW. I HAVE TO STUDY.
THEY ONLY TOLD US TODAY. >> I CAN'T TELL HER ALONE.
JUST USE THE ENGINE. WHY ARE WE TAKING HER TO THE
YARD. >> TO FIX THE ENGINE.
I CAN HELP. ROUGHER THAN IT WAS
EXPECTING! >> YOU DON'T SAY!
PULL ON THE BACK, DEPOWER THE SAILS.
>> OKAY. WHAT IS HAPPENING?
>> YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE NAVY!
>> I DON'T SAILBOATS, PENNY, I LAND ON THEM!
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THAT'S A
CONTINUOUS SHOT. YOU'RE DRIVING THAT BOAT THERE.
>> I AM. >> Stephen: AND IT'S A BIT
RUMPLY OUT THERE. >> IT WAS.
WE FILMED THE SEQUENCE TWICE. WE FILMED IT FIRST OUTSIDE
SAN DIEGO. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
WE HAD LOVELY SHOTS. DOLPHINS WERE SWIMMING BESIDE US
AND TOM WAS, LIKE, THIS ISN'T FAST ENOUGH.
SO WE REDID THE SCENE AND WENT TO SAN FRANCISCO.
>> Stephen: FOR THE ROUGH WEATHER.
>> FOR THE ROUGH WEATHER AND THE WIND AND THAT'S WHAT WE HAD.
>> Stephen: HAD YOU SAILED BEFORE?
>> I WAS TAKING LESSONS BEFORE IN PREPARATION.
>> Stephen: SO JUST FOR THIS MOVIE?
>> YEAH. >> Stephen: BECAUSE THAT'S A
SIZABLE BOAT. >> YEAH, AND WE'RE MOVING REALLY
FAST. >> Stephen: DID YOU LIKE THE
FEELING OF THE HELM IN YOUR HAND?
>> SOUNDS LIKE A EUPHEMISM, BUT, YEAH.
>> Stephen: SURE. IT CAN BE BOTH.
( LAUGHTER ) >> IT WAS GREAT.
IT WAS AMAZING. I WAS TAKING LESSONS.
I STARTED IN NEW YORK BECAUSE I LIVE IN BROOKLYN.
>> Stephen: IN THE HARBOR. YES, WHICH IS INTERESTING.
>> Stephen: THAT'S BUSY. LIKE LEARNING TO DRIVE ON THE
AUDUBAN. >> Stephen: OR LEARNING HOW TO
SKATE BOARD ON THE AUDUBAN. >> YEAH, EXACTLY.
I WAS DOING THAT AND BEFORE FILMING I WAS TAKING SAILING
LESSONS TO PREPARE. >> Stephen: JENNIFER, THOV FOR
BEING HERE. >> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: MY BEST TO YOUR HUSBAND.
"TOP GUN: MAVERICK," IS IN THEATERS FRIDAY.
JENNIFER CONNELLY, EVERYBODY WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
BROADWAY LEGEND PATTI LUPONE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HEY! WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!
GOOD TO SEE YOU! FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT IS
A TWO-TIME TONY ABARRED WINNER AND BROADWAY LEGEND.
SHE NOW STARS IN "COMPANY" ON BROADWAY WHICH JUST EARNED HER
ANOTHER TONY NOMINATION. PLEASE WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW,
PATTI LUPONE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING )
>> Stephen: HEY, KIDDO. GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> AND YOU. >> Stephen: IT'S BEEN A LONG,
LONG TIME. >> YOU GOT ME THROUGH THE
PANDEMIC IN ALL SO SORTS OF ROOS YOU WERE IN.
>> Stephen: WE MIGRATED. IT WAS A MOVABLE FEAST.
( LAUGHTER ) EARLIER AT THIS MONTH, YOU WERE
IN A TALKBACK AT THE END OF "COMPANY."
>> LOOK AT THESE LOVELY PEOPLE WITH THEIR MASKS ON!
>> Stephen: YES! THESE PEOPLE GET IT.
>> YES. >> Stephen: SO YOU MADE NEWS.
YOU TOLD AN AUDIENCE MEMBER DURING THIS TALKBACK TO PUT
THEIR MASK ON INSIDE THE THEATER BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T WEARING IT
CORRECTLY AND MAKING TROUBLE. WE HAVE A LITTLE CLIP.
>> PUT YOUR MASK OVER YOUR NOSE. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE IN THE
THEATER. THAT IS THE RULE.
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO FOLLOW THE RULE, GET ( BLEEP ) OUT!
( APPLAUSE ) YOU DO NOT RESPECT THE PEOPLE
THAT ARE SITTING AROUND YOU! YOU ( BLEEP ).
CHRIS HARPER PAYS MY SALARY. >> EXCUSE ME.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YES.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: SO HOW DID IT GET
TO THAT POINT? BECAUSE YOU'RE A LOVELY PERSON.
>> SOMETIMES. >> Stephen: WHAT LED UP TO
THAT MOMENT? >> WELL, FOR INSTANCE, WE ARE
NOW USED TO LOOKING AT THE AUDIENCE, AND YOU SEE PEOPLE
WITH MASKS ON. I SEE THE EYES.
USUALLY YOU SEE THE WHOLE FACE, BUT I SEE THE EYES.
I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON BACKSTAGE.
THIS WAS A TALKBACK. WHEN YOU SEE EVERYBODY EXCEPT
TWO PEOPLE, THIS WOMAN AND HER HALF ASLEEP HUSBAND WITH THE
MASK OFF, YOU IMMEDIATELY SEE IT.
WHAT LED UP TO IT IS WHAT SHE DID WHEN OUR COVID SAFETY
MANAGERS CAME DOWN TO TELL HER TO PUT IT ON CORRECTLY.
SHE TOOK IT OFF, WAVED IT IN THE AIR, AND PUT IT OVER HER EYES.
SO SHE WAS MOCKING THE MAN DATE AND MOCKING THE COVID SAFETY
MANAGERS WHO GET ABUSE EVERY NIGHT.
I MEAN, THE USHERS GO UP AND DOWN THE AISLE, AND WE JUST GOT
AN EMAIL TODAY, SOMEBODY ELSE IS OUT, YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT OUT OF
THIS. WE'RE NOT OUT OF IT AT THE
JACOBS THEATER. >> Stephen: DO YOU NEED ME TO
GO IN? >> DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THEY'D
LOVE THAT! >> Stephen: NOW YOU CAN BUY
MERCHANDISE THAT HAS IT ON IT. YOU CAN HAVE "WHO DO YOU THINK
YOU ARE, PATTI LUPONE." ( APPLAUSE )
>> WE SEEMS TO BE MY GO-TO. >> Stephen: WHO DO YOU THINK
YOU ARE. >> IT SEEMS TO BE MY GO-TO.
I HAVE TO COME UP WITH ANOTHER EXPRESSION.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE BACK ON A BROADWAY WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL
REVIVAL OF "COMPANY." HERE'S THE PLAY BILL FOR IT
RIGHT THERE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
PEOPLE MAY NOT KNOW, YOU AND I DID THIS SHOW TOGETHER WITH THE
NEW YORK PHILHARMONIC. >> WE CERTAINLY DID.
>> Stephen: IN 2011. THIS WAS TO ME KIND OF THE
DEFINITIVE PRODUCTION HERE. HERE WE ARE TOGETHER, THAT'S YOU
RIGHT THERE, AND THAT YOUNG GUY RIGHT THERE IS ME.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND MOST TERRIFYING THING I'VE
EVER DONE. MOST TERRIFYING THING I'VE EVER
DONE. >> IT IS TERRIFYING.
>> Stephen: YES. YOU HAVE TEN DAYS TO ABSORB A
MUSICAL AND YOU HAVE ONE HOUR TO BE ON THE STAGE OF THE NEW YORK
PHILHARMONIC BECAUSE THE STAGE HANDS ARE SO STRICT WITH HOW
MUCH TIME YOU CAN SPEND ON THE STAGE.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE ALSO DONE IT IN THE WEST END, AND NOW HERE
YOU ARE DOING IT AGAIN. WHAT'S DIFFERENT ABOUT HOW YOU
APPROACH THE ROLE, OR DOES IT CHANGE WITH EACH PRODUCTION?
>> IT DOES. IT CHANGES WITH THE DIRECTION.
>> Stephen: OKAY. MARY ANN ELLIOTT, THE
BRILLIANT DIRECTOR OF THIS CONCEPT OF BOBBY BEING FEMALE, I
NEVER WORKED WITH HER BEFORE AND I WANTED TO.
IT'S JUST HER APPROACH WITH ACTORS, AND SHE ISEN A ACTORS'
DIRECTOR. AND THIS IS PROBABLY MY FAVORITE
INTERPRETATION OF JO ANN BECAUSE SHE'S FUNNY.
SHE GETS TO LAUGH, YOU KNOW, AND SHE'S NOT DOWER.
IS IT DO-ER OR DOWER? >> Stephen: YOU'RE THE LEGEND
OF BROADWAY. ( LAUGHTER )
"COMPANY" WAS WRITTEN BY STEPHEN SONDHEIM.
TO HONOR HIM, THERE ARE SPECIAL PLAY BILLS FOR STEPHEN SONDHEIM
FOR THE LOVERS AND THE COLLECTORS OUT THERE.
THIS IS THE MAN THAT I MET AND KNEW.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND HERE HE IS AS A VERY YOUNG
MAN. AND I'M CURIOUS, I WAS LUCKY
ENOUGH TO INTERVIEW HIM A COUPLE OF TIMES, TO DO THAT, SHORTLY
BEFORE HE DIED, INTERVIEWED HIM RGHT THERE.
>> I REMEMBER THAT INTERVIEW. >> Stephen: AND IT WAS
DEEPLY -- THOUGH I DIDN'T GO DO MUCH OF HIS WORK, DEEPLY
INFLUENTIAL TO ME. >> YOU DID SIX.
>> Stephen: STEPHEN SONDHEIMS. WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM HIM?
>> I RE-CREATED. IT'S ALWAYS INTIMIDATING WHEN
SOMEONE YOU DEEPLY RESPECT AND ARE DEEPLY INTIMIDATED BY SHOWS
UP IN THE REHEARSAL ROOM BECAUSE I JUST WANT APPROVAL, I WANT A
VALIDATION OF MY INTERPRETATION, AND HE WAS A TASK MASTER.
HIS NOTES WERE AT TIMES EXTREMELY HARSH.
BUT WHEN THEY WEREN'T HARSH AND THEY WERE APPROVING, IT WAS -- I
COULD CRY NOW. IT WAS SORT OF -- IT'S, YOU
KNOW, WHEN HE DIED, MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS WHO WILL MAKE ME
BETTER? AND NO ONE -- I MEAN, NO ONE --
HE HAD SUCH -- DAVID AND STEPHEN SONDHEIM ARE MY STRONGEST
INFLUENCES IN MY PROFESSION IN THEATER, AND I DON'T THINK
THEY'LL EVER -- THERE'LL EVER BE SOMEONE AS COMPLEX AS STEPHEN TO
INFLUENCE THE INTERPRETERS OF HIS WORK AND MUSICAL THEATER.
>> Stephen: BEAUTIFULLY SAID. ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: IN JUST A MOMENT, I'M HAPPY TO SAY THAT YOU ARE
GOING TO PERFORM A NUMBER FROM "COMPANY."
WHAT WILL WE BE HEARING? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> WE'LL BE HEARING JO ANN'S ANTHEM, "THE LADIES WHO LUNCH"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> STEPHEN: "COMPANY," IS ON
BROADWAY AT THE BERNARD B. JACOBS THEATRE.
STICK AROUND FOR A PERFORMANCE BY PATTI LUPONE.
>> Stephen: AND NOW PERFORMING "THE LADIES WHO LUNCH" FROM
STEPHEN SONDHEIM "COMPANY," PATTI LUPONE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ HERE'S TO THE LADIES WHO LUNCH EVERYBODY LAUGH
♪ LOUNGING IN THEIR CAFTANS AND PLANNING A BRUNCH
♪ ON THEIR OWN BEHALF OFF TO THE GYM,
♪ THEN TO A FITTING CLAIMING THEY'RE FAT
♪ AND LOOKING GRIM 'CAUSE THEY'VE BEEN SITTING
♪ CHOOSING A HAT DOES ANYONE STILL WEAR A HAT?
♪ I'LL DRINK TO THAT HERE'S TO THE GIRLS
♪ WHO STAY SMART AREN'T THEY A GAS?
♪ RUSHING TO THEIR CLASSES IN OPTICAL ART
♪ WISHING IT WOULD PASS ANOTHER LONG EXHAUSTING DAY
♪ ANOTHER THOUSAND DOLLARS A MATINEE,
♪ A PINTER PLAY PERHAPS A PIECE OF MAHLER'S
♪ I'LL DRINK TO THAT AND ONE FOR MAHLER
♪ HERE'S TO THE GIRLS WHO PLAY WIFE
♪ AREN'T THEY TOO MUCH? KEEPING HOUSE BUT CLUTCHING
♪ A COPY OF LIFE JUST TO KEEP IN TOUCH
♪ THE ONES WHO FOLLOW THE RULES AND MEET THEMSELVES
♪ AT THE SCHOOLS TOO BUSY TO KNOW
♪ THAT THEY'RE FOOLS AREN'T THEY A GEM?
♪ I'LL DRINK TO THEM LET'S ALL DRINK TO THEM
♪ AND HERE'S TO THE GIRLS WHO JUST WATCH
♪ AREN'T THEY THE BEST? WHEN THEY GET DEPRESSED,
♪ IT'S A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH PLUS A LITTLE JEST
♪ ANOTHER CHANCE TO DISAPPROVE ANOTHER BRILLIANT ZINGER
♪ ANOTHER REASON NOT TO MOVE ANOTHER VODKA STINGER
♪ AH I'LL DRINK TO THAT SO HERE'S TO THE GIRLS
♪ ON THE GO EVERYBODY TRIES LOOK
♪ INTO THEIR EYES AND YOU'LL SEE WHAT THEY KNOW
♪ EVERYBODY DIES A TOAST TO THAT INVINCIBLE BUNCH
♪ THE DINOSAURS SURVIVING THE CRUNCH
♪ LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE LADIES WHO LUNCH
♪ EVERYBODY RISE RISE
♪ RISE, RISE RISE, RISE
♪ RISE, RISE RISE
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> STEPHEN: "COMPANY," IS ON BROADWAY AT THE BERNARD B.
JACOBS THEATRE. PATTI LUPONE, EVERYBODY!
THAT'S IT FOR THE LATE SHOW. TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE PRIME MINISTER JACINDA ARDERN AND DAVID SEDARIS, JAMES
CORDEN IS NEXT. GOODNIGHT.