REPRESENTATTIVE MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE IS FACING FIERCE
SCRUTINY AFTER CLAIMING LGBTQ EDUCATION WILL MAKE STRAIGHT
PEOPLE EXTINCT. >> THEY JUST WANT YOU TO THINK
THAT, ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE ENTIRE POPULATION IS STEADILY
TURNING GAY OR TURNING TRANS -- JUST GENERATION, GENERATION --
PROBABLY IN ABOUT FOUR OR FIVE GENERATIONS, NO ONE WILL BE
STRAIGHT ANYMORE. >> WELCOME TO "GAY PLANET
EARTH." TODAY, WE EXAMINE THE EARTH'S
MOST ENDANGERED SPECIES -- THE LAST STRAIGHT MAN.
SOMEHOW, THIS MIRACULOUS SPECIMEN WAS ABLE TO ELUDE THE
GREAT GAY AND TRANS MIGRATION OF THE EARLY 21st CENTURY.
HERE, HE IS SEEN IN HIS NATURAL HABITAT, LARGE TELEVISION TURNED
TO "ICE ROAD TRUCKERS," DEVOURING WHAT FOODS HE CAN
FORAGE. TODAY, IT'S COLD LEFTOVER HOT
WINGS FOR BREAKFAST WITH A FLAT GINGER ALE.
HIS SLEEP PATTERNS ARE RANDOM. WE CATCH HIM MIDDAY NAP,
SUDDENLY AWAKENED BY HI OWN FLATULENCE.
BUT, SADLY, IT'S AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE FOR THIS HETEROSEXUAL.
HOW MUCH LONGER CAN THE LAST STRAIGHT MAN SURVIVE?
SEEN HERE, DRYING DAMP SOCKS IN THE TOASTER.
OH, DEAR -- TURNED OUT TO BE SEVEN SECONDS.
TUNE IN NEXT TWEAK TO "GAY PLANET EARTH," WHEN WE DELVE
INTO THE DECADENT CLUB LIFE OF THE CHIHUAHUA.
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) TONIGHT, STEPHEN WELCOMES JAKE
TAPPER! AND JOEL KIM BOOSTER!
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN."
AND, NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( THEME SONG PLAYING ) >> Stephen: HELLO!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: HEY, HEY!
>> Stephen: WELCOME ONE AND ALL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TO
"THE LATE SHOW." I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT,
AND I HAVE -- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: THAT'S SO NICE. >> Jon: OH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S LIKE A DRINK OF COLD WATER RIGHT THERE.
I'VE BEEN OFF FOR A WEEK. I MISSED YOU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I ALSO MISSED A LOT OF NEWS,
WHICH I DID NOT MISS. BUT THERE'S SOME NEW NEWS ABOUT
THE NEWS. BECAUSE CNN IS CUTTING BACK ON
OVER-HYPING EVERYTHING AS BREAKING NEWS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YES!
WHICH MEANS, OVERHYPING EVERYTHING IS UP FOR GRABS!
SO, WE HAVE BREAKING NEWS: ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I STAND BEFORE YOU SHOCKED AND TERRIFIED
TO REPORT THAT WHAT I'M SAYING RIGHT NOW MEANS NOTHING.
IT'S ALL FALSE URGENCY TO KEEP YOU CAPTIVATED LONG ENOUGH TO
GET TO THE NEXT LIPITOR COMMERCIAL.
AND... HOLD ON -- WE HAVE TO BREAK INTO THIS BREAKING NEWS
WITH A BREAKING NEWS ALERT: AT 11:38 PM EASTERN TIME, HOST OF
THE LATE SHOW STEPHEN COLBERT IS FEELING A BIT SNACKY.
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, THE STORY IS -- THE STORY
IS IT STILL DEVELOPING. NO WORD YET ON HOW AND IF IT
WILL EVER RESOLVE. STEPHEN, WHAT ARE YOU HEARING?
( LAUGHTER ) >> WELL,
( SMACKING AND TALKING INCOHERENTLY )
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH... >> Stephen: NOW, IT WAS
SUBTLE, BUT YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED WE USED SOME OF CNN'S GRAPHICS
THERE. WE FOUND THEM IN THE DUMPSTER
BEHIND THE NETWORK, ACCORDING TO AN INTERNAL MEMO, CNN IS CUTTIN
-- NEXT TO CHRIS CUOMO AND CNN PLUS.
WHY YOU AWEING? NONE OF YOU WATCHED IT!
ACCORDING TO AN INTERNAL MEMO, CNN IS CUTTING BACK ON THE
BREAKING NEWS GRAPHIC BECAUSE ITS IMPACT HAS BECOME LOST ON
THE AUDIENCE AND CNN SHOULD BE FOCUSED ON
INFORMING, NOT ALARMING VIEWERS. WITH CNN OUT OF THE GAME,
THAT'LL LEAVE PLENTY OF ALARMING FOR THE FOLKS OVER AT FOX NEWS.
IN FACT, THEY'RE COUNTER-PROGRAMMING WITH TUCKER
CARLSON'S NEW SHOW: LOOK OUT GAY IMMIGRANTS ARE COMING FOR YOUR
PENIS! ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) TODAY, OF COURSE, IS
JANUARY 6th. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS --
( SUSPE SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC ) >> Stephen: IT'S NATIONAL
YO-YO DAY! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IT ALSO MEANS IT'S EXACTLY 17 MONTHS SINCE THE JANUARY 6th
INSURRECTION, AND THIS THURSDAY THE JANUARY 6th COMMIT IS SET
TO MAKE ITS CASE PUBLIC WITH PRIME-TIME HEARINGS.
THE INSURRECTION -- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. THE INSURRECTION IS GOING
PRIMETIME GET READY FOR YOUR NEW FAVORITE SHOW: AMERICA'S GOT
TREASON. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: MMM...
>> Stephen: WE MIGHT ACTUALLY GET SOME
ANSWERS FROM THESE HEARINGS, BECAUSE DUE TO A KEVIN MCCARTHY
HISSY FIT, THE ONLY REPUBLICANS ON THE JANUARY 6TH COMMITTEE ARE
NOTED CRITICS OF THE BIG LIE, LIZ CHENEY AND ADAM KINZINGER.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SO, UNLIKE THE INSANELY
COMBATIVE IMPEACHMENT HEARINGS, THESE PRIMETIME HEARINGS MIGHT
FUNCTION NORMALLY. IT'LL BE LIKE AN EPISODE OF THE
REAL HOUSEWIVES WITHOUT WINE. ( LAUGHTER )
(AS HOUSEWIFE) "LUANNE, WE JUST ATE DINNER, NOW
I'M GOING TO BED AT A REASONABLE HOUR AND TAKE A MELATONIN.
DON'T FORGET YOUR DOGGIEBAG, I LOVE AND RESPECT YOU."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) I SAID GOOD NIGHT!
( LAUGHTER ) THE JANUARY 6TH COMMITTEE HAS
GOTTEN A LOT OF INFORMATION FROM RELUCTANT WITNESSES BECAUSE
THEY'VE BEEN WILLING TO PLAY HARDBALL.
TAKE FORMER PRESIDENTIAL AIDE, PETER NAVARRO, SEEN HERE
POINTING TO HIS WORST ENEMY. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) THAT'S A GOOD JOKE.
QUALITY FAMILY JOKE. NAVARRO WAS ONE OF THE
RINGLEADERS OF THE ATTEMPTED COUP.
AND WE KNOW THAT BECAUSE HE CLEVERLY CONFESSED THE ENTIRE
PLOT ON NATIONAL TV. >> WHAT I SHOW IN THE IN TRUMP
TIME BOOK IS THIS PLAN WE HAD CALLED THE GREEN BAY SWEEP, THE
PLAN WAS SIMPLY THIS. WE HAD OVER 100 CONGRESSMEN AND
SENATORS ON CAPITOL HILL READY TO IMPLEMENT THE SWEEP.
THE SWEEP WAS SIMPLY THAT. WE WERE GOING TO CHALLENGE THE
RESULTS OF THE ELECTION IN THE SIX BATTLEGROUND STATES.
AT 1:00 P.M., SENATOR TED CRUZ AND REPRESENTATIVE GOSAR,
STARTED THE GREEN BAY SWEEP BEAUTIFULLY, CHALLENGING THE
RESULTS OF ARIZONA. THE REMEDY WAS FOR VICE
PRESIDENT PENCE AS THE QUARTERBACK IN THE GREEN BAY
SWEEP TO REMAND THOSE VOTES BACK TO THE SIX BATTLEGROUND STATE
>> Stephen: GREEN BAY SWEEP -- SO, NAVARRO THOUGHT HE COULD
ADMIT TO TRYING TO OVERTURN AN ELECTION ON NATIONAL TV, AND
THERE'D BE NO CONSEQUENCES BECAUSE HE GAVE IT A FUN
NICKNAME? (AS MURDERER)
"OFFICER, YOU CAN'T ARREST ME. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ILLEGAL, I
WAS JUST DOING A MOVE I LIKE TO CALL THE BEE-BOP-STEP STAB.
A BEE-BOP STEP STAB STABBY STAB STAB."
( APPLAUSE ) STAB STAB STAB!
( BEEPING ) BEEP, BEEP, BOP,
STAB, STAB, STAB! ( LAUGHTER )
THE COMMITTEE THOUGHT, "HERE'S A CRAZY IDEA LET'S SUBPOENA THE
GUY WHO ADMITTED TO PLANNING THE CRIME."
NAVARRO REFUSED TO SHOW UP, SO ON FRIDAY, HE WAS INDICTED AND
ARRESTED ON TWO COUNTS OF CONTEMPT OF CONGRESS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( DRUM BEAT )
>> Jon: WHOO! SHAKE IT UP!
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: THIS UPSET NAVARRO, AND IT ALSO UPSET TEXAS
REPRESENTATIVE LOUIE GOHMERT, SEEN HERE SUDDENLY REMEMBERING
WHERE HIS FINGERS HAVE BEEN. ( LAUGHTER )
( DRUM BEAT ) AFTER LEARNING OF NAVARRO'S
ARREST, GOHMERT ACTUALLY SAID THIS:
>> IT ACTUALLY PUTS AN EXCLAMATION POINT ON THE FACT
THAT WE HAVE A TWO-TIERED JUSTICE SYSTEM.
IF YOU'RE A REPUBLICAN, YOU CAN'T EVEN LIE TO CONGRESS OR
LIE TO AN FBI AGENT, OR THEY'RE COMING AFTER YOU.
THEY'RE GONNA BURY YOU. (AS GOHMERT)
"NOWADAYS YOU CAN'T EVEN LIE TO CONGRESS OR LIE TO THE F.B.I.,
OR HOT WIRE A CAR THEN DRIVE THAT CAR TO A BANK AND GRAB ALL
THE MONEY AT GUNPOINT, THEN HEAD TO THE NEAREST ZOO TO THROW
ROCKS AT THE PANDAS." THERE'S A TWO-TIERED JUSTICE
SYSTEM ONE TIER FOR PEOPLE WHO OBEY THE LAW AND A WHOLE
DIFFERENT ONE FOR PEOPLE WHO BREAK IT.
HOW IS THAT FAIR? HOLD STILL, LING-LING!
HOLD STILL! I WINGED HIM!
>> Jon: YEAH, I SAW THAT! ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WAIT, HOLD ON A SECOND!
WE'RE GETTING MORE BREAKING NEWS.
OK, THIS JUST IN. IS THIS CONFIRMED?
IT'S BEEN CONFIRMED, LOUIE GOHMERT REMAINS THE
DUMBEST MAN ALIVE. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SO, ONE PARTY OPENLY ATTACKED
OUR DEMOCRACY AND THEN BRAGGED ABOUT IT.
BUT SOMEHOW, THEY'RE NOT THE ONES WITH LOW APPROVAL RATINGS.
BECAUSE ACCORDING TO RECENT POLLS, PRESIDENT BIDEN'S
APPROVAL IS WORSE THAN THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S AT THIS POINT
IN HIS PRESIDENCY. NOT GREAT.
BUT I KNOW HOW TO HELP. MR. PRESIDENT, GO OUT TO THE
ROSE GARDEN AND STARE DIRECTLY INTO A SOLAR ECLIPSE.
DON'T ASK ME WHY. FOR SOME REASON, PEOPLE LIKE
THAT BETTER THAN INFRASTRUCTURE. ( LAUGHTER )
TURNS OUT, BEHIND THE SCENES, BIDEN IS SEETHING THAT HIS
STANDING IS NOW WORSE THAN THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S.
I DON'T BLAME HIM. THE LAST GUY HAD TERRIBLE
STANDING. ( LAUGHTER )
HE LOOKS LIKE A PENGUIN WITH A LOADED DIAPER.
( LAUGHTER ) AND, NOW, BIDEN'S TEAM IS
WORRIED HE COULD SUFFER THE SAME ONE-TERM FATE AS JIMMY CARTER.
OF COURSE, THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BIDEN AND
CARTER. SOMEHOW, BIDEN SEEMS OLDER.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT THE WHITE HOUSE HAS A PLAN:
PUT JOE ON THE ROAD TO HIGHLIGHT PROGRESS BEING MADE, AND LET
BIDEN BE BIDEN. YES, WE'RE GETTIN' SOME JOE
CLASSIC, BUT COVER THE KIDS' EARS, BECAUSE BIDEN HAS BEEN SO
FRUSTRATED, HE'S REPORTEDLY RESORTED TO SALTY LANGUAGE.
"YOU'RE DARN' ROOTY-TOOT-TOOTIN', YA
DONKEYMOUTHED, BOXCAR-JUMPIN' TROLLEY PONIES.
THEY TRIED TO TAKE GRAMPA'S KEYS AWAY, BUT I FOUND 'EM TUCKED
UNDER A CROCHETED TEDDY BEAR T.P. COVER.
JUST TRY AND STOP ME, YA TAFFY-PULLIN', GRASS WRASSLIN',
SNARKY MALARKY CLOD OF EBBET'S FIELD SOD!
YER MOTHER GOT STUCK IN HER BUTTER CHURN, AND YER PAPPY
SMOOCHES THE KAISER'S PICKELHAUBE.
NOW, I'M HOPPIN' BACK IN THE CORVETTE.
WAIT, GAS IS HOW MUCH? ( LAUGHTER )
WHO THE ( BLEEP ) IS PRESIDENT? ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT. MY GUESTS ARE JAKE TAPPER AND
COMEDIAN JOEL KIM BOOSTER. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, QUEEN
ELIZABETH STILL HAS A JOB. STICK AROUND.
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!
HEY! SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE AND
"STAY HUMAN"! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
JON, I'VE GOT TO SAY, IT IS REALLY GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> YES. >> Stephen: WE'VE NOT SPENT
MUCH TIME ON THE STAGE TOGETHER. I GOT COVID TWICE, THEN YOU GOT
COVID. >> YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND YOU WENT AND YOU SHOT THE MUSICAL COLOR
PURPLE. >> THE COLOR PURPLE.
>> Stephen: THE COLOR PURPLE OUT IN LOS ANGELES.
>> THAT'S A GREAT EXPERIENCE. >> Stephen: WHAT WAS THAT
LIKE? WHAT WERE YOUR SCENES LIKE?
>> Jon: I LOVED IT. YOU KNOW, I THINK I MIGHT GET
MORE INTO ACTING. I LIKE IT A LOT.
( CHEERING ) IT WAS SO COOL TO BE ON THE SET.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, TARAJI, STEPHEN SPEILBERG, OPRAH, IT WAS
DAUNTING TO WALK INTO IT. >> Stephen: SURE.
>> Jon: THEN I STARTED CHECKING OUT HOW IT WAS PUT
TOGETHER. YOU HAVE BEEN ON A SET LIKE
THAT. >> Stephen: I DON'T THINK I
HAVE BEEN ON A SET LIKE THAT. THERE AREN'T A LOT OF SETS LIKE
THAT. >> Jon: MAN, IT WAS
INCREDIBLE. THEY BUILT A WORLD, THEN THEY
HAD AN ALTERNATE WORLD THAT WAS INDOORS OF THE OUTDOOR WORLD,
AND IT WAS JUST, LIKE, EVERY RESOURCE YOU COULD IMAGINE TO
MAKE A FILM. >> Stephen: BECAUSE IT'S
SPEILBERG AND OPERA. O -- OPRAH.THEY WERE SAYING, WEA
MOVIE. I CAN'T WAIT FOR PEOPLE TO SEE
YOUR PART. YOU SENT ME PHOTOS AND IT WAS A
FRESH LOOK. >> Jon: THAT CAR WAS GOOD.
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH. JON, WONDERFUL TO HAVE YOU BACK.
GOOD TO SEE YOU. >> Jon: OH, MAN, THANK LOUIS!
>> Stephen: LOUIS, YOU KILLED IT WHEN JON WAS GONE, THANK YOU
SO MUCH! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
JON, OUR DEAR FRIEND JAKE TAPPER IS HERE.
>> Jon: OH, JAKE IS IN THE HOUSE!
YES! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: I THINK HIS ELEVENTH APPEARANCE ON THE SHOW.
AND COMEDIAN JOEL KIM BOOSTER WILL BE OUT HERE LATER.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) FOLKS,
LONGTIME VIEWERS OF THE SHOW KNOW THAT I'M NOT NORMALLY A BIG
FAN OF THE BRITISH ROYAL FAMILY. GIVE ME BACK MY FAMILY'S LAND!
( LAUGHTER ) BUT GIVEN THE DESOLATE,
POST-APOCALYPTIC LANDSCAPE THAT IS THE NEWS, HEY, LET'S TALK
ABOUT THE QUEEN ( TRUMPET SOUND )
LILIBET TOOK THE THRONE AT AGE 25, ON FEBRUARY 6, 1952.
SO NATURALLY, THE BRITS ARE CELEBRATING HER 70TH ANNIVERSARY
IN JUNE. THEY WERE AIMING FOR LONDON'S
ANNUAL DAY OF SUNSHINE. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) 70 YEARS MAKES IT THE QUEEN'S
PLATINUM JUBILEE, SO I BELIEVE THE TRADITIONAL GIFT TO GIVE HER
IS AFRICA. ( LAUGHTER )
AND BOY, OH BOY, DID THEY DO A TO-DO.
THE U.K. CELEBRATED WITH A PARADE, A MILITARY FLYOVER, A
FLOTILLA ON THE THAMES, AND A CORGI DRONE DISPLAY IT WAS THE
MOST HIGH-PROFILE EXAMPLE OF BRITISH DRONING SINCE ANY TIME
PIERS MORGAN OPENS HIS MOUTH. ( LAUGHTER )
IS IT MORGANS OR MORGAN? MORGAN, OKAY.
THE QUEEN ALSO TOOK PART IN A PRE-TAPED SKETCH FEATURING
PADDINGTON BEAR. SO LIFELIKE.
( LAUGHTER ) SAME WITH PADDINGTON.
( LAUGHTER ) BUCKINGHAM PALACE EXPLAINED THE
QUEEN'S PARTICIPATION IN THE SKETCH, SAYING HER MAJESTY IS
WELL KNOWN FOR HER SENSE OF HUMOUR.
OH, YES. LIKE THAT PRACTICAL JOKE SHE
PLAYED ON PRINCE CHARLES: NEVER DYING.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
LONG MAY SHE WAVE, I SAY. LONG MAY SHE WAVE.
THE FESTIVITIES ALSO INCLUDED A HOLOGRAM OF A YOUNGER VERSION OF
THE QUEEN PROJECTED INTO A GOLDEN CARRIAGE.
NOTHING SAYS YOU'RE HEALTHY AND DOIN' FINE LIKE RESORTING TO
TECHNOLOGY FROM DISNEY'S HAUNTED MANSION.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
HER MAJESTY WAS ALSO SERENADED BY THE WEST END CAST OF MAMMA
MIA, WHO SANG ABBA'S HIT 'DANCING QUEEN.'.
OH, YEAH, QUEEN ELIZABETH IS KNOWN FOR HER SIGNATURE DANCE
MOVE. JON, HIT IT!
( BAND PLAYS DANCING QUEEN ) NOT EVERY ROYAL FAMILY MEMBER
WAS AMUSED BY THE CELEBRATION. LIKE FOUR-YEAR-OLD PRINCE LOUIS,
WHO FIDGETED, SQUIRMED, AND MADE FACES THROUGHOUT THE EVENT.
( LAUGHTER ) HIS MOTHER TOLD HIM IF HE KEPT
IT UP, HIS FACE WOULD STICK THAT WAY.
AND THEN, AS PROOF, SHE POINTED TO PRINCE CHARLES.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Jon: OH, MY GOSH -- WOW. >> Stephen: AT ONE POINT,
LITTLE PRINCE LOUIS SEEMED FED UP WITH HIS MUM AND PUT HIS HAND
OVER HER MOUTH TO KEEP HER FROM TALKING.
HE FIRST LADY AROUND AND DID THE CLASSIC THUMB ON THE NOSEY.
OOH, KEEP THAT UP YOUNG MAN, AND NO STICKY TOFFEE KIDNEY PIE FOR
YOU. ( LAUGHTER )
THE REAL SURPRISE GUEST OF THE WEEKEND WAS THE QUEEN HERSELF,
WHO, AFTER BEING ABSENT FROM EVENTS ON FRIDAY AND SATURDAY,
APPEARED ON THE PALACE BALCONY FOR A BRIEF BUT MOVING ROYAL
SAMBLE. SHOWING A CLASSIC BRITISH STIFF
UPPER LIP, AND, REALLY, STIFF EVERYTHING.
( LAUGHTER ) SO, LIZ, HERE'S TO ANOTHER 70
YEARS. WE SALUTE YOU.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JAKE TAPPER!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! WELCOME BACK!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS A JOURNALIST AND AUTHOR WHO
ANCHORS THE LEAD AND CO-ANCHORS STATE OF THE UNION ON CNN.
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW, JAKE TAPPER.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> I HAVE A COUPLE OF COLLEGE FRIENDS UP THERE, AND I WANT
THEM TO KNOW, YOU COULDN'T SEE, BUT THEY WERE GIVING ME A
STANDING OVATION. >> Stephen: THOSE ARE YOUR
COLLEGE FRIENDS? >> I HAVE MORE THAN THAT, BUT
THAT'S TWO OF THEM. >> Stephen: THE GUY ON THE
RIGHT LOOKS LIKE HE COULD BE YOUR SON.
>> WELL, WHEN HE GETS THE MASK OFF, IT'S DIFFERENT.
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND. YOU'RE MR. POLITICS.
>> YES. >> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT THEY
CALL YOU ON YOUR WIKIPEDIA PAGE. THERE'S SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT.
>> YEAH. >> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT
SOMETHING THAT'S LOOMING BUT MAY OR MAY NOT BE SOMETHING.
FOLLOWING THE TRAGIC ATTACK IN UVALDE, SO MANY SHOOTINGS IN AS
MANY DAYS. >> ONE IN PHILADELPHIA WHERE I
GREW UP. >> Stephen: CHRIS MURPHY AND
CORNYN HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED BY SCHIEWMEN AND CORNYN IN THE
SENATE AND COME UP WITH SOMETHING.
THE WORD IS THEY'VE GOT SOMETHING.
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS OTHER THAN THE FACT IT DOESN'T HAVE
BACKGROUND CHECKS AND IT DOESN'T REDUCE THE NUMBER OF AUTOMATIC
WEAPONS -- SEMI-AUTOMATIC WEAPONS.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO BE IN THE FINAL PACKAGE.
I DO KNOW THE REPUBLICANS ARE EAGER FOR IT TO BE SOMETHING
THAT CAN GET NOT JUST TEN BUT 25 OR 30 REPUBLICANS.
THEY WANT IT TO BE A BIG BIPARTISAN VOTE.
>> Stephen: HAS ANYTHING BEEN FLOATED THAT YOU'VE HEARD
REPUBLICANS WILLING TO GET BEHIND?
>> ENCOURAGING STATES TO P RED FLAG LAWS TO PREVENT SNB FROM
BEING ABLE TO PURCHASE GUNS. THIS IS EFFECTIVE IN FLORIDA,
THEY PASSED THE RED FLAG LAW. WE INTERVIEWED THE COUNTY
SHERIFF THERE AND TALKED ABOUT HOW GREAT THE LAW IS, IT KEEPS
GUNS OUT TO HAVE THE HANDS THAT KNOWLEDGE ONLY WOULD POSE HARM
TO OTHER PEOPLE BUT THEMSELVES. SHE WAS IN THE COURTROOM AND
SOMEONE EXPRESSED SUICIDAL IDEATION AND HE WAS MOURNING HIS
SON WHO DIED AND THEY TOOK HIS GUN, WE SAW THE WHOLE THING.
IT WAS TO PROTECT HIM. >> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT RAISING
THE AGE FOR PURCHASING SEMII AUTOMATIC WEAPONS?
HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING ABOUT THAT?
>> I HAVE NOT. IT IS AN IDEA.
OBVIOUSLY, THE GUNMAN IN UVALDE, PARKLAND AND BUFFALO ALL WERE
18. YOU KNOW, THERE IS A
DISPROPORTIONATE AMOUNT OF VIOLENCE COMMITTED WITH
SEMI-AUTOMATIC WEAPONS BY MEN 18 TO 21 IN THAT THREE-YEAR AGE
GROUP, SO THAT'S SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN FLOATED.
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S BEEN INTRODUCED, I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S
GOING TO PASS. CHRIS MURPHY, WHEN I INTRODUCED
HIM YESTERDAY, I DON'T THINK HE MENTIONED THAT WHEN HE TALKED
ABOUT THINGS THAT COULD THEORETICALLY BE IN THE FINAL
PRODUCT. >> Stephen: YOU WERE REPORTING
WHEN COLUMBINE HAPPENED IN 1999. >> I WENT TO DENVER RIGHT AFTER
COLUMBINE FOR THE N.R.AING CONVENTION IN DENVER DAYS AFTER.
YOU TALK ABOUT GRIEF A LOT IN YOUR LIFE, NOT NECESSARILY HERE,
BUT IT'S ONE OF THE THINGS YOU AND PRESIDENT BIDEN TALK ABOUT
VERY MOVINGLY. THIS WAS FLYING INTO A CITY AND
YOU COULD FEEL THE GRIEF. I FELT IT WHEN I WENT TO
PARKLAND ONE WEEK AFTER THE SHOOTING WE DID THE TOWN HALL
AND I WALKED INTO THE ARENA AND YOU COULD FEEL THE UTTER
DESPAIR. IT'S VERY DIFFICULT TO CONVEY TO
PEOPLE. >> Stephen: HOW, AS SOMEONE
WHO COVERED THIS MANY YEARS, WE FORGET THAT COLUMBINE, BESIDES
BEING AN EXTRAORDINARY HORROR, WAS NOT A COMMON EVENT AT THE
TIME, AND HAS BECOME ALL TOO COMMON IN THE LAST 123 YEARS --
23 YEARS. HOW HAS THE DISCUSSION OF
SENSIBLE -- >> COMMON SENSE GUN REFORM.
>> Stephen: HOW HAS THAT CONVERSATION CHANGED IN THE LAST
23 YEARS? >> WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I MEAN,
WHAT'S VERY CLEAR IS THAT THERE IS LESS WILLINGNESS OF
REPUBLICAN LEGISLATORS TO VOTE FOR IT, AND I THINK THAT IS
BECAUSE THERE IS MUCH LESS WILLINGNESS ON THE PART OF
REPUBLICAN VOTERS TO SUPPORT IT. >> Stephen: HOW DO YOU THINK
THAT CAME ABOUT? BECAUSE IN THE 1990s, THE
ASSAULT WEAPONS BAN, THAT WAS A BIPARTISAN BILL, WASN'T IT?
>> NINE REPUBLICANS, INCLUDING REPUBLICANS FROM STATES LIKE
INDIANA VOTED FOR THAT BAN. THERE WERE NINE -- IT WAS
LIKE -- YEAH, IT WAS SOMETHING REPUBLICANS WOULD BE WILLING TO
VOTE FOR. I CAN'T REALLY EXPLAIN IT, BUT
IT IS VERY CLEAR THAT THERE IS ONE POLITICAL PARTY THAT JUSTs
VERY RELUCTANT, AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE LEADERS AS
MUCH AS I AM THE VOTERS, TO PASS NEW LAWS ON THESE THINGS, EXCEPT
WE DID SEE IN FLORIDA, AFTER PARKLAND, THE REPUBLICAN
GOVERNOR AND REPUBLICAN-DOMINATED LEGISLATORS
PASSED A VERY SWEEPING SET OF REFORMS INCLUDING RAISING AGE
FROM 18 TO 21, A WAITLE PERIOD, RED FLAG LAWS AND SECURITY.
IT HAD AN EFFECT BECAUSE AND MIGHT HAVE BEEN BECAUSE THE
PARKLAND KIDS WERE SO ACTIVE AND OUTSPOKEN.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT MAKES IT DIFFERENT FROM TODAY OR
CONGRESS, EXCEPT MAYBE YOU CAN'T GET IN THE FACE OF A CONGRESSMAN
AS EASILY AS THE FACE OF A STATE REPRESENTATIVE, MAYBE.
>> Stephen: IN THE BEST POSSIBLE OF ALL THE WORLDS
CONGRESSMEN ARE RESPONSIBLE TO THE VOTERS.
BUT 90% OF AMERICANS, A VAST MAJORITY OF REPUBLICANS WANT
UNIVERSAL BACKGROUND CHECKS BUT IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, SO THAT KIND
OF FLIES IN THE FACE OF, IT'S THE VOTERS.
>> YES, EXCEPT WHEN YOU POLL, YOU'RE POLLING THE PUBLIC.
THE PUBLIC IS NOT THE SAME AS THE VOTERS.
>> Stephen: IN THE PRIMARY. THE VOTERS THERE PEOPLE WHO
TURN OUT AND VOTE. >> Stephen: I SEE.
THE PUBLIC ARE JUST ALL THE PEOPLE WHO EXIST.
AND, SO, IT IS DIFFERENT. AND, OFTEN, THERE WILL BE AN
ISSUE THAT POLLS VERY WELL IN A STATE, AND THEN THEY HAVE A
REFERENDUM ON THAT ISSUE. THIS JUST HAPPENED IN NEVADA AND
MAINE, AND IT BECOMES A RAZOR-THIN MARGIN OF VICTORY OF
DEFEAT, EVEN THOUGH THE ISSUE POLLS AT 70% OR SOMETHING.
>> Stephen: LET'S GO ON TO THE NEXT --
>> CAN I JUST SAY ONE MORE THING ABOUT GUNS, BECAUSE THIS IS
SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT A LOT, AND THAT IS HOW DO
WE COVER IT IN THE MEDIA? ARE WE COVERING IT THE RIGHT
WAY? I DON'T KNOW THAT WE ARE, AND
THE REASON I SAY THAT IS BECAUSE, STEPHEN, YOU AND I,
WHEN I WROTE MY BOOK ABOUT AFGHANISTAN, AND YOU WERE ON THE
OTHER SHOW ON A DIFFERENT NETWORK, WE TALKED ABOUT ALL THE
DECISIONS I MADE WHEN WRITING THIS BOOK AND ONE OF THE
DECISIONS I MADE IS HOW GRAPHIC SHOULD BY WHEN DESCRIBING WHAT
HAPPENS TO THESE SERVICE MEMBERS IN THE BOOK, IN THE PAGES,
WITHOUT PICTURES, BUT HOW GRAPHIC SHOULD I BE, AND IT WAS
SOMETHING I THOUGHT ABOUT IT A LOT, AND I THINK ABOUT IT WHEN
IT DEVELOPS TO THIS, TO GUN VIOLENCE, BECAUSE IT IS SO
SANITIZED, THE VERSIONS OF THE STORIES WE SHOW PEOPLE.
>> Stephen: AS HORRIFIED AS WE ARE, WE'RE NOT ACTUALLY SEEING
IT. >> WE'RE NOT SEEING ANYTHING.
THINK ABOUT HOW SHOCKING IT IS IN A LOCAL CRIME REPORT WHEN YOU
SEE A LITTLE BIT OF BLOOD ON THE SIDEWALK.
>> Stephen: YES. IT'S STUNNING, YOU NEVER SEE
THAT. WELL, WHO ARE WE PROTECTING?
I'M NOT CALLING FOR MEDIA TO SHOW ANYTHING THAT FAMILY
MEMBERS DON'T WANT OUT THERE OR WHATEVER, BUT, YOU KNOW, I ASKED
MY TEAM, LIKE, AFTER THE UVALDE SHOOTING -- AND, AGAIN, I
UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE ARE HORRIFIED, IT'S AWFUL.
BUT, I MEAN, ARE THERE IMAGES OF BALANCES?
ARE THERE IMAGES OF BODY BAGS? WHAT IS AVAILABLE?
BECAUSE WE'RE NOT DOING THE PUBLIC A SERVICE BY JUST
DESCRIBING WHAT HAPPENED AND THEN ALL YOU SEE IS A BUNCH OF
COPS STANDING OCTOBER SIDE A BILDING.
AND IT'S ULTIMATELY SO HORRIFIC, AND I'VE SAID THIS A MILLION
TIMES ON MY SHOW, THE ADULTS OF THE UNITED STATES ARE FAILING
THE CHILDREN OF THE UNITED STATES.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK. WHEN WE COME BACK, I WILL ASK
JAKE ABOUT WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THE JANUARY 6th HEARINGS
STARTING THIS THURSDAY. STICK AROUND.
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! WE'RE BACK HERE WITH JAKE
TAPPER. THIS THURSDAY, JANUARY 6th
HEARINGS KICK OFF IN PRIME TIME. >> YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND YOUR GUYS ARE COVERING IT LIVE.
>> OH, YEAH, I'LL BE ANCHORING IT, YEAH.
>> Stephen: MY FEAR IS THAT WE'RE GOING TO LEARN A LOT OF
PROOF ABOUT THE THINGS THAT WE KNEW AS OPPOSED TO THINGS THAT
WE TINTED KNOW THAT WILL CHANGE MINDS.
>> FIRST OF ALL, I THINK IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT PEOPLE
UNDERSTAND THIS IS NOT JUST ABOUT JANUARY 6th, IT'S NOT
JUST ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO STORMED THE CAPITOL.
IT IS ABOUT THEM, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO WEREN'T SWEPT UP IN
THE MOMENT BUT WERE A PART OF A PLAN, BUT THIS IS ABOUT A
MONTHS' LONG STRATEGY FOR DONALD TRUMP AND HIS SUPPORTERS TO DO
EVERYTHING THEY COULD BECAUSE THEY WERE SO DESPERATE TO HOLD
ON TO POWER THAT THEY WERE WILLING TO TAKE AWAY LEGAL VOTES
FROM AMERICAN VOTERS, THAT THEY VOTED -- IN THE HOUSE OF
REPRESENTATIVES THERE WAS AN EFFORT TO DISENFRANCHISE THE
ENTIRE COMMONWEALTH OF PENNSYLVANIA AND DISENFRANCHISE
ARIZONA. THERE WERE VOTES ON THAT.
NOW, MAYBE YOU'RE NOT FROM ARIZONA OR PENNSYLVANIA.
I'M FROM PENNSYLVANIA, SO MY MOM AND DAD'S VOTE WAS IN THAT
BATCH, AND I DON'T LIKE THAT. I DON'T LIKE THE FACT THAT THEY
WANTED TO TAKE AWAY MY MOM AND DAD'S VOTE BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T
LIKE HOW THE COMMONWEALTH VOTED. THIS IS ABOUT AN EFFORT TO
SUBVERT DEMOCRACY. SO I JUST HOPE THAT WHATEVER IS
PRESENTED IS PRESENTED IN AS COMPELLING WAY AS POSSIBLE THAT
THIS WAS NOT JUST A GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT GOT A LITTLE BIT
ROWDY AND, YOU KNOW, DID SOME STUPID THINGS.
THIS IS ABOUT A STRATEGY AND A CONSPIRACY.
>> Stephen: THIS SPRING, YOU SPENT TWO WEEKS IN UKRAINE.
>> I DID, IN APRIL, YEAH. >> Stephen: AMONG OTHER
THINGS, YOU INTERVIEWED PRESIDENT ZELENSKYY OVER THERE.
>> VOLODYMYR ZELENSKYY. >> Stephen: VOLODYMYR
ZELENSKYY. AND YOU ALSO CELEBRATED A LITTLE
PASSOVER. >> I DID CELEBRATE PASSOVER.
>> Stephen: YEAH. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I HAD
NOT HAD A SEDER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
>> Stephen: A ONE-MAN SEDER. A ONE-MAN SEDER.
WELL, THE LOCAL ORTHODOX RABBI -- BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
THERE IS A LOCAL ORTHODOX. THERE'S ONE EVERYWHERE.
WHEN THEY LAND ON MARS THERE'S GOING TO BE A REMEMBER BUY,
WELCOME! ( LAUGHTER )
SO HE GAVE ME A SEDER IN A BOX. ZELENSKYY IS JEWISH, I DON'T
THINK HE'S PARTICULARLY OBSERVANT, BUT IS JEWISH.
WHEN I CAME FOR THE INTERVIEW I GAVE HIM A BOX OF MATZA, AND HE
WAS, LIKE, THANKS. WHICH FOR ANYONE WHO EVER
RECEIVED A BOX OF MATZA WAS THE CORRECT RESPOND.
>> Stephen: JAKE, THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: "STATE OF THE
UNION" AIRS SUNDAY AND "THE LEAD" AIRS WEEKDAYS ON CNN.
JAKE TAPPER. BACK WITH JOEL KIM BOOSTER.
>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MY NEXT GUEST IS A STAND-UP COMEDIAN, WRITER, AND ACTOR.
HE WROTE AND STARS IN THE NEW FILM, "FIRE ISLAND."
>> YOU DON'T NEED A BOYFRIEND, YOU JUST NEED TO LEARN HOW TO
PROTECT YOURSELF A LITTLE MORE BECAUSE ALL THIS ROMANCE
( BLEEP ) IS MAKING YOU TOO VULNERABLE.
YOU'RE LIKE AN OPEN ROOM. >> I LIKE THE ROM-COM STUFF LIKE
KISSING IN THE RAIN AND STANDING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW WITH THE BOOM
BOX OR CONFESSING THINGS IN A GAZEBO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT.
>> NOTHING'S WRONG WITH THAT. ( BLEEP ) LIKE THAT DOESN'T
HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE. THE ONLY REAL THING IS YOU AND
ME, ( BLEEP ) US. >> FINE.
IF YOU'RE SO INVESTED IN THIS, I WILL TRY AND GET LAID...
>> STEPHEN: PLEASE WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW, JOEL KIM BOOSTE
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
HEY! >> HI.
THIS IS CRAZY, I USED TO GET GROUND FOR WATCHING YOUR SHOW.
SO THIS IS SURREAL. >> Stephen: WHY?
IT WAS LAMPOONING A POLITICS MY FAMILY LOVE.
>> Stephen: I HOPE THEY'RE WATCHING IT.
>> THEY'RE NOT. >> Stephen: THE MOVIE "FIRE
ISLAND," YOU'RE CALLING IT A GAY "PRIDE AND PREJUDICE."
>> EXACTLY. >> Stephen: PERFECT FOR PRIDE
MONTH. TELL US ABOUT THE CONNECTION.
>> I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A JANE AUSTIN FAN.
WHEN I WAS LITTLE WE WOULD WATCH A BBC MINI SERIES AND THAT WAS
MY MOM AND MY YEARLY TRADITION. WE WOULD WATCH THAT TOGETHER.
I'M A BIG FAN OF THE JOE WRIGHT EDITION AS WELL.
IT WASN'T TILL I WENT TO FIRE ISLAND THAT I BROUGHT THE BOOK
TO READ. I WAS STRUCK HOW RELEVANT IT
FELT TO MY EXPERIENCE OF GOING TO THE ISLAND AND NAVIGATING THE
WEIRD CLASS SYSTEMS GAY MEN CREATED FOR THEMSELVES.
>> Stephen: WOW. I WENT WITH BOWEN, MY CO-STAR
IN THE MOVIE, I JUST TURNED TO HIM AT ONE POINT AND WAS, LIKE,
WOULDN'T IT BE FUNNY IF I WROTE A GAY PRIDE AND RE PREJUDICE ON
FIRE ISLAND. AND BECAME A THREAT I WOULD
THREATEN TO WRITE YEAR AFTER YEAR.
WE CAME BACK TO THE ISLAND AND I'D BRING JANE AUSTIN BOOKS WITH
ME. IT CRYSTALLIZED AND SOUNDED LIKE
A GOOD IDEA. >> Stephen: ARE THERE PARALLEL
CHARACTERS? >> I'M ELIZABETH.
BOWEN IS JANE, AND CONRAD IS MY DARCY.
HE IS, YOU KNOW, NO OFFENSE TO COLIN FIRTH, BUT I THINK HE IS
THE BEST DARCY OUT THERE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: THE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T FROM THE NEW YORK AREA OR
DON'T KNOW THE HISTORY OF FIRE ISLAND, WHAT'S SPECIAL ABOUT
FIRE ISLAND IN THIS REGARD? >> IT'S JUST A SMALL SECTION OF
FIRE ISLAND. THE PINES AND CHERRY GROVE, A
STRIP OF LAND OFF LONG ISLAND. FOR CLOSE TO A CENTURY, IT HAS
BEEN A SAFE HAVEN FOR QUEER PEOPLE TO ESCAPE TO, WHERE THERE
ARE NO CARS, VERY LITTLE CELL PHONE SERVICE AND NO STRAIGHT
PEOPLE. IT WAS REALLY TRANSFORMATIVE FOR
ME TO GO FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE I DON'T THINK PEOPLE
SORT OF REALIZE THE WEIGHT EQUEER PEOPLE CARRY AROUND HIM
NAVIGATING STRAIGHT SOCIETY DAY IN AND DAY OUT.
WE LOVE YOU BUT TO HAVE THE WEIGHT LIFTED SUDDENLY, IT WAS
REALLY REALLY POWERFUL, YEAH. >> Stephen: YOU ALSO HAVE CAST
IN THIS MOVIE THE GREAT MARGARET CHO IS IN THE MOVIE.
IS SHE LADY KATHERINE. >> NO, MRS. BENNETT.
>> Stephen: OKAY. YOU A LONG-TIME FAN OF HEARSE?
>> SHE CHANGED MY LIFE. >> Stephen: HOW SO.
HE COMPLETELY BLEW OPEN MY OWN CONCEPTION OF WHAT WAS
POSSIBLE FOR MYSELF IN THIS INDUSTRY.
I MEAN, I CAN DRAW A STRAIGHT LINE FROM ALL AMERICAN GIRL TO
THIS MOVIE BECAUSE I THINK THAT SHOW IS THE FIRST TIME I EVER
SAW MYSELF REPRESENTED ON SCREEN, AND I THINK, YOU KNOW, I
JUST REMEMBER SITTING INCHES AWAY FROM THE TV WATCHING THE
SHOW, BEING ENTHRALLED AND, YEAH, IT WASN'T UNTIL I SAW
MARGARET THAT I THOUGHT, OH, I COULD DO THAT, I COULD BE AN
ACTOR, I COULD BE ON TELEVISION. >> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT JUST A
PERFORMER AND THIS IS NOT JUST THE STAR OF THIS.
YOU ALSO WROTE IT, YOU'RE ALSOEN EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF IT.
DO YOU ENJOY BEING THE BOSS? >> YEAH, I GUESS.
>> Stephen: THERE'S A LOT OF PRESSURE.
>> I'M A LITTLE BOSSY. IT WAS REALLY GRATIFYING,
THOUGH. I THINK I'VE ALWAYS LOOKED UP TO
PEOPLE, LIKE, YOU KNOW, ISSA RAY AND PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING IT ALL.
SO TO GET THERE AND ACTUALLY HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO IT
AND TO BE REALLY GOOD AT ALL OF IT --
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERING )
-- WAS REALLY GRATIFYING, YEAH. >> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND THAT
COMEDY WASN'T THE FIRST CHOICE, THAT ORIGINALLY YOU WANTED TO
WRITE DRAMAS. >> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHAT HAPPENED? I WENT TO SCHOOL AND MY
EMPHASIS WAS IN P PLAY WRITING. I WANTED TO WRITE FOR "THE
WIRE." I KEPT WRITING PLAYS ABOUT
MATRICIDE AND INCEST AND PEOPLE WOULD COME AND FIND THEM TO BE
SO FUNNY. AND I WAS, LIKE, WHAT IS
HAPPENING? AND IT'S SOMETHING THAT'S IN ME.
IT DEVELOPED AS A DEFENSE MECHANISM GROWING UP, AND I
COULDN'T HELP BUT WRITE REALLY FUNNY CHARACTERS.
SO EVENTUALLY I MOVED TO CHICAGO TO BE A PLAYWRIGHT AND ACTOR.
I GOT FRUSTRATED. AT THE TIME, ASIAN PEOPLE, WE
WEREN'T HAVING THE CONVERSATIONS WE'RE HAVING ABOUT DIVERSITY
RIGHT NOW. I GOT CALLED IN TO BE A CHINESE
DELIVERY BOY FIVE TIMES IN ONE YEAR IN CHICAGO.
I WAS REALLY FRUSTRATED WITH THAT AND DECIDED TO TRY STANDUP
BECAUSE IT FELT THE ONLY OUTLET I COULD BE MYSELF AND TELL AN
HONEST VERSION OF MYSELF ON STAGE AND THE REST IS HISTORY.
>> Stephen: THERE ARE FAMOUS LINES FROM JANE AUSTIN, IN
GENERAL, BUT ALSO PRIDE AND PREJUDICE SPECIFICALLY, AND I'M
WONDERING WHETHER YOU COULD TRANSLATE THEM FROM EARLY 19th O
MODERN DAY "FIRE ISLAND." >> I CAN TRY.
>> Stephen: IT IS A TRUTH UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED THAT A
SINGLE MAN IN POSSESSION OF A GOOD FORTUNE MUST BE IN WANT OF
A WIFE. >> SO THAT ONE I THINK TRANSLATE
PRETTY SEAMLESSLY INTO EVERYBODY KNOWS IF YOU'RE A GUY WITH A BIG
( BLEEP ) YOU HAVE A LOT OF OPTIONS.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: STOP RIGHT THERE. NOT GOING TO GET BETTER THAN
THAT. OR SO I'VE HEARD.
>> YEAH. >> Stephen: "FIRE ISLAND" IS
STREAMING NOW ON HULU. IT'S JOEL KIM BOOSTER,
EVERYBODY. JOEL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
BEING HERE. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> STEPHEN: THAT'S IT FOR THE
LATE SHOW. TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS
WILL BE ROBERT DE NIRO AND ROSIE PEREZ.
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT. GOODNIGHT.