1 00:00:01,134 --> 00:00:02,635 >> CONGRESSWOMAN LAUREN BOEBERT 2 00:00:02,702 --> 00:00:05,872 IS FACING BACKLASH AFTER IMPLYING THAT JESUS COULD HAVE 3 00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:09,042 DEFENDED HIMSELF FROM CRUCIFIXION IF HE HAD ASSAULT 4 00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:11,511 RIFLES. >> THE LITTLE TWITTER TROLLS 5 00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:17,150 LIKE TO SAY OH, JESS JESUS DIDN'T KNEE AN AR-15RBGS HOW 6 00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:19,486 MANY DO YOU THINK JESUS WOULD HAVE HAD, WELL HE DIDN'T HAVE 7 00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:20,820 ENOUGH TO KEEP HIS GOVERNMENT FROM KILLING HIM. 8 00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:30,563 >> COMING SOON TO BROADWAY, LAUREN BOEBERT'S JESUS CHRIST 9 00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:33,032 SUPERSTAR. >> JESUS JESUS YIES, PACKING 10 00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:35,535 HEAT, HE'LL WASH 11 00:01:13,072 --> 00:01:15,508 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!" 12 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:22,749 TONIGHT: TEN CENTS SENGS ABILITY, PLUS 13 00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:23,650 PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: TOM HANKS 14 00:01:23,716 --> 00:01:29,255 AND MUSICAL GUEST, REGINA SPEKTOR 15 00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:34,527 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN." 16 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,996 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 17 00:01:37,063 --> 00:01:46,706 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 18 00:01:46,773 --> 00:02:01,654 HEY, HOW ARE YOU. >> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY 19 00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:02,489 HEY, HOW ARE YOU. >> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY 20 00:02:02,555 --> 00:02:09,395 MUCH. VOICE OF AN ANGEL, VOICE OF AN 21 00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:12,966 ANGEL. HEY, EVERYBODY! 22 00:02:13,032 --> 00:02:16,836 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. >> STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN. 23 00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:18,838 >> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCHS, FOLKS. 24 00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:24,978 GOOD TO SEE YOU HERE. TAKE A SEAT, EVERYBODY, THANK 25 00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:29,682 YOU SO MUCH. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME 26 00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:35,221 ONE AND ALL TO THE LATE SHOW. I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 27 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:38,491 FOLKS, TODAY, CONGRESS DROPPED EPISODE THREE OF THE 28 00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:42,996 JANUARY 6th COMMITTEE HEARINGS, IN PRIME TIME: 29 00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:46,499 1:00 P.M. ON A THURSDAY. NOW, THERE WAS A BUNCH OF 30 00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:47,934 VIDEO TESTIMONY, A LOT OF DOCUMENTS, A LOT OF QUESTIONS OF 31 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:51,504 THE TWO LIVE WITNESSES. AND THIS IS WHAT WE LEARNED: 32 00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:54,774 ALL THE LAWYERS KNEW THAT OVERTURNING THE ELECTION WAS A 33 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:58,077 CRIME. THEY ALL TOLD EACH OTHER THAT 34 00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,846 THEY KNEW IT WAS A CRIME. THEY ALL TOLD EVERYBODY IN THE 35 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,981 WHITE HOUSE IT WAS A CRIME, INCLUDING THE PRESIDENT. 36 00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:04,517 THEY TOLD HIM, "SIR, IT'S A CRIME." 37 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:07,020 AND HE SAID, "THANK YOU FOR CLEARING THAT UP. 38 00:03:07,086 --> 00:03:14,561 NOW, LET'S GO DO THAT CRIME." SOME OF THE CRIMES WERE 39 00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:17,063 PROCEDURAL AND CONSTITUTIONAL. A LITTLE LIGHT SEDITION AMONG 40 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:20,133 FRIENDS. SOME OF THEM WERE MORE 41 00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:24,671 STRAIGHTFORWARD, LIKE... WHAT'S THE WORD... 42 00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:26,539 TRYING TO MURDER MIKE PENCE. THE FIRST PART OF TODAY'S 43 00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:30,276 HEARING FOCUSED ON THE NOW-INFAMOUS PLAN TO HAVE PENCE 44 00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:31,544 JUST REJECT BIDEN'S ELECTORS OUT OF HAND. 45 00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:38,551 THAT WAS CONCOCTED BY DISGRACED LAWYER AND COTTON SWAB SEEING 46 00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:43,323 WHERE YOU'RE ABOUT TO STICK HIM, JOHN EASTMAN. 47 00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,058 ACCORDING TO THE COMMITTEE, EASTMAN KNEW HIS THEORY WAS 48 00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:49,062 COMPLETE B.S. AND TO PROVE THAT, THEY CALLED 49 00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:53,066 PENCE'S FORMER LAWYER AND MAN WHO HAS NO PROBLEM WITH THE 50 00:03:53,132 --> 00:03:57,070 "HEARING" PART OF CONGRESSIONAL HEARINGS, GREG JACOB. 51 00:03:57,136 --> 00:04:01,074 JACOB RECALLED WHAT HE SAID TO EASTMAN ABOUT A VICE PRESIDENT 52 00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:05,078 BEING ABLE TO NAME WHO WON THE ELECTION. 53 00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:08,481 >> "JOHN, BACK IN 2000, YOU WEREN'T JUMPING UP AND SAYING 54 00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,383 AL GORE HAD THIS AUTHORITY TO DO THAT. 55 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:15,188 YOU WOULD NOT WANT KAMALA HARRIS TO BE ABLE TO EXERCISE THAT 56 00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:18,324 KIND OF AUTHORITY IN 2024 WHEN, I HOPE, REPUBLICANS WILL WIN THE 57 00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:21,060 ELECTION, AND I KNOW YOU HOPE THAT, TOO, JOHN." 58 00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:25,064 AND HE SAID, "ABSOLUTELY. AL GORE DID NOT HAVE A BASIS TO 59 00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:28,968 DO IT IN 2000. KAMALA HARRIS SHOULDN'T BE ABLE 60 00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:32,538 TO DO IT IN 2024. BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD DO IT 61 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:35,642 TODAY." >> Stephen: IT'S JUST A 62 00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:43,449 CLASSIC CASE OF "DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I COUP." 63 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:47,754 (APPLAUSE) REALLY? 64 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:49,055 REALLY? OKAY. 65 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,590 THEN THEY PLAYED FOOTAGE OF JACOB EXPLAINING WHAT THE 66 00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:56,562 PRESIDENT KNEW ABOUT THE CRIME, AND WHEN HE KNEW IT: 67 00:04:56,629 --> 00:05:00,266 >> DID JOHN EASTMAN EVER ADMIT, AS FAR AS YOU KNOW, IN FRONT OF 68 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:01,601 THE PRESIDENT, THAT HIS PROPOSAL WOULD VIOLATE THE ELECTORAL 69 00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:14,547 COUNT ACT? >> I BELIEVE HE DID ON THE 4th. 70 00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:16,015 OKAY ITS FOURTHth. >> Stephen: OKAY, BUT THAT'S 71 00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,183 TWO WHOLE DAYS BEFORE THE 6th. AND EVERYONE KNOWS THE 72 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,553 PRESIDENT'S GOT THE MEMORY OF A GOLDFISH WHO PLAYED IN THE 73 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:24,557 N.F.L. YOU CAN'T JUDGE HIM FOR THAT. 74 00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:25,491 NOW I WILL SAY THIS ABOUT 75 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:29,062 JOHN EASTMAN-- HE WAS A CONSENSUS BUILDER. 76 00:05:29,128 --> 00:05:35,635 >> DO YOU KNOW IF MR. CLARK OR MR. MORGAN-- IS IT MORGAN-- 77 00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:37,637 VIEWED ABOUT THAT, THOUGHT ABOUT THAT, MR. EASTMAN'S ADVICE? 78 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,972 >> YEAH, THEY THOUGHT HE WAS CRAZY. 79 00:05:40,039 --> 00:05:44,277 I KNOW FOR A FACT THEY HEARD BOTH SAY THAT HIS THEORY WAS 80 00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:45,144 CRAZY. >> I SAID, "YOU'RE COMPLETELY 81 00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:49,082 CRAZY." THAT WAS CERTIFIABLY CRAZY. 82 00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:50,683 >> Stephen: YES, JOHN EASTMAN GOT A RARE 100% ON CRAZY 83 00:05:50,750 --> 00:06:04,530 TOMATOES. THAT'S HOW YOU CAN TELL IF 84 00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:05,765 SOMEONE'S CRAZY. THEY DO THIS. 85 00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:08,568 THE COMMITTEE ALSO HEARD FROM FORMER FEDERAL JUDGE AND 86 00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:14,240 WILLIAM SHATNER MELTING ON A HOT SIDEWALK, J. MICHAEL LUTTIG. 87 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,309 LUTTIG IS ONE OF THE MOST WIDELY RESPECTED 88 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:18,077 CONSERVATIVE LEGAL SCHOLARS IN THE COUNTRY. 89 00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:24,117 TODAY, HE LAID OUT THE STAKES OF THIS ATTEMPTED COUP: 90 00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:32,558 >> THE FOUNDATIONAL TRUTH IS THE RULE OF LAW. 91 00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:41,067 THAT FOUNDATIONAL TRUTH IS, FOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, 92 00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:53,079 THE PROFOUND TRUTH. BUT IT'S NOT MERELY THE PROFOUND 93 00:06:53,146 --> 00:07:05,057 TRUTH FOR THE UNITED STATES. IT'S ALSO THE SIMPLE TRUTH. 94 00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:20,006 THE SIMPLE, FOUNDATIONAL TRUTH OF THE AMERICAN REPUBLIC. 95 00:07:20,072 --> 00:07:25,077 THE SIMPLE, FOUNDATIONAL TRUTH OF THE AMERICAN REPUBLIC. 96 00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:33,052 (APPLAUSE) >> Stephen: AGH! 97 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:36,455 IS ANYONE IN JAIL YET? NO? 98 00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:38,558 OKAY. JUDGE LUTTIG WAS UNEQUIVOCAL 99 00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:45,064 ABOUT EASTMAN'S PLAN. >> I WOULD HAVE LAID MY BODY 100 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:53,105 ACROSS THE ROAD, BEFORE I WOULD HAVE LET THE VICE 101 00:07:53,172 --> 00:08:01,080 PRESIDENT OVERTURN THE 2020 ELECTION, ON THE BASIS OF THAT 102 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:04,984 HISTORICAL PRECEDENT. >> Stephen: BRAVE WORDS. 103 00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:06,819 BUT BASED ON HIS ENERGY LEVEL, I'M PRETTY SURE HE'D HAVE LAID 104 00:08:06,886 --> 00:08:21,767 HIS BODY DOWN WAY BEFORE HE GOT TO THE ROAD. 105 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,002 HIS BODY DOWN WAY BEFORE HE GOT TO THE ROAD. 106 00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:26,572 FIRST PATCH OF GRASS HE SAW. THEN THE COMMITTEE MOVED ON TO 107 00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:29,342 THE SECOND PART OF THEIR ARGUMENT, THAT, DESPITE PENCE'S 108 00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:30,543 REFUSAL TO GO ALONG WITH THE PLOT, THE FORMER PRESIDENT KEPT 109 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,445 PUTTING PRESSURE ON HIM. PEOPLE IN THE OVAL OFFICE ON 110 00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:36,782 JANUARY 6th RECALLED A TENSE PHONE CALL BETWEEN THE FORMER 111 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,551 PRESIDENT AND HIS VEEP. >> AT SOME POINT, IT STARTED 112 00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:41,053 OFF AS A CALMER TONE AND BECAME HEATED. 113 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:44,557 >> THE CONVERSATION WAS PRETTY HEATED. 114 00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:49,061 >> I REMEMBER HEARING THE WORD "WIMP." 115 00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:50,229 EITHER HE CALLED HIM A WIMP-- I DON'T REMEMBER IF HE SAID 116 00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:53,065 "YOU ARE A WIMP," "YOU'LL BE A WIMP." 117 00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:57,169 "WIMP" IS THE WORD I REMEMBER. >> Stephen: I'VE BEEN TOLD "THE 118 00:08:57,236 --> 00:09:01,073 LATE SHOW" AUDIO-VIDEO SQUAD HAS USED COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY TO 119 00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:02,575 RECREATE THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN THE FORMER PRESIDENT AND 120 00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:08,547 MIKE PENCE. >> HEFTY, HEFTY, HEFTY! 121 00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:20,559 >> WIMPY, WIMPY, WIMPY! >> Stephen: AT ONE POINT, 122 00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:24,797 IVANKA'S FORMER CHIEF OF STAFF DESCRIBED THE SALTY LANGUAGE THE 123 00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:26,532 FORMER PRESIDENT USED. >> DID MS. TRUMP SHARE WITH YOU 124 00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:29,702 ANY MORE DETAILS ABOUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED, OR DETAILS ABOUT WHAT 125 00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:33,072 HAD HAPPENED IN THE OVAL OFFICE THAT MORNING? 126 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:36,475 >> THE WORD THAT SHE RELAYED TO YOU, THAT THE PRESIDENT CALLED 127 00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:38,544 THE VICE PRESIDENT? >> I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING 128 00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:41,080 IMPOLITE, BUT DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT SHE SAID HER FATHER CALLED 129 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:51,123 HIM? >> THE "P"-WORD. 130 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:54,894 >> Stephen: THE P WORD? >> Stephen: PLATYPUS? 131 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:56,529 PUMPERNICKEL? PAPRIKASH? 132 00:09:56,595 --> 00:10:00,232 OH, THAT "P"-WORD! GOOD THING PENCE WASN'T IN 133 00:10:00,299 --> 00:10:09,709 PERSON, OR THE PRESIDENT WOULD'VE TRIED TO GRAB HIM. 134 00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:13,079 S' AN OLDIE, IT'S TRIP DOWN MIM REE LANE. 135 00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:23,356 I KNOW IT SAN OLD ONE. TO UNDERLINE HOW MUCH DANGER 136 00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:25,057 THE FORMER PRESIDENT PUT HIS VICE IN, THE COMMITTEE SHOWED 137 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:29,061 SOME DRAMATIC FOOTAGE OF THE CROWD ON JANUARY 6th. 138 00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:32,531 >> WHERE IS PENCE? >> BRING HIM OUT! 139 00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:37,069 BRING HIM OUT! BRING OUT PENCE! 140 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:40,606 BRING OUT PENCE! >> Stephen: MIKE PENCE OBVIOUSLY 141 00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:41,707 DIDN'T RESPOND TO THAT. HE'S STAUNCHLY AGAINST ANYONE 142 00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:53,019 COMING OUT. EVEN THOUGH THE PRESIDENT KNEW 143 00:10:53,085 --> 00:10:56,555 THE RIOTERS WERE IN THE BUILDING, HOWLING FOR PENCE'S 144 00:10:56,622 --> 00:11:00,993 BLOOD, HE PUT OUT ANOTHER TWEET THAT FURTHER INFLAMED THE MOB, 145 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:05,064 WHO, SHORTLY THEREAFTER, GOT VERY CLOSE TO CATCHING THE 146 00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:08,534 VICE PRESIDENT. >> VICE PRESIDENT PENCE AND 147 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:13,072 HIS TEAM ULTIMATELY WERE LED TO A SECURE LOCATION, WHERE THEY 148 00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:17,076 STAYED FOR THE NEXT 4.5 HOURS, BARELY MISSING RIOTERS A FEW 149 00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:20,546 FEET AWAY. APPROXIMATELY 40 FEET. 150 00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:25,051 THAT'S ALL THERE WAS-- 40 FEET BETWEEN THE VICE PRESIDENT AND 151 00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:29,055 THE MOB. >> Stephen: 40 FEET! 152 00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:32,625 I WANT TO POINT OUT, THAT THAT IS CLOSER THAN FROM WHERE 153 00:11:32,691 --> 00:11:37,063 I'M STANDING, TO WHERE MY EXECUTIVE PRODUCER TOM PURCELL 154 00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:52,011 IS STANDING. RIGHT NOW. 155 00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,079 IS STANDING. RIGHT NOW. 156 00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:58,184 WHAT WAS THAT? (LAUGHTER) 157 00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:00,519 TODAY, WE LEARNED THAT, WHEN THE DUST SETTLED, EASTMAN KNEW JUST 158 00:12:00,586 --> 00:12:02,555 HOW SCREWED HE WAS. >> IN FACT, JUST A FEW DAYS 159 00:12:02,621 --> 00:12:05,057 LATER, DR. EASTMAN EMAILED RUDY GIULIANI AND REQUESTED 160 00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:09,128 HE BE INCLUDED ON A LIST OF POTENTIAL RECIPIENTS OF A 161 00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:14,567 PRESIDENTIAL PARDON. DR. EASTMAN'S EMAIL STATED, 162 00:12:14,633 --> 00:12:17,503 "I'VE DECIDED THAT I SHOULD BE ON THE PARDON LIST, IF THAT IS 163 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:25,077 STILL IN THE WORKS." >> Stephen: "HEY, Y'ALL, IT'S 164 00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:26,745 JOHN EASTMAN. WHAT UP, LISTEN, 165 00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,681 NO BIGGIE, BUT REMEMBER THAT PARDON LIST YOU WERE TALKING 166 00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:30,516 ABOUT? I THINK IT MIGHT BE FUN TO PUT 167 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,251 MY NAME ON THERE. BECAUSE I'VE BEEN POKING AROUND 168 00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:36,489 IN SOME LEGAL BOOKS, AND IT TURNS OUT, BREAKING THE LAW 169 00:12:36,555 --> 00:12:38,557 IS AGAINST THE LAW, AND WE DID TRY TO BRING DOWNDEMOCRACY, 170 00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:42,061 AND MEOW MEOW MEOW. ANYWAY, IF IT'S A NO, I 171 00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:44,530 TOTALLY GET IT, BUT MAYBE WE COULD BE CELLMATES? 172 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:59,478 LOL, T.T.F.N.!" BUT EASTMAN DIDN'T GET A PARDON. 173 00:12:59,545 --> 00:13:01,447 LOL, T.T.F.N.!" BUT EASTMAN DIDN'T GET A PARDON. 174 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:06,719 SO, HE'S NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES. TO EVERY QUESTION ASKED BY THE 175 00:13:06,785 --> 00:13:09,188 COMMITTEE, HE GAVE THE SAME ANSWER: 176 00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:12,625 >> I ASSERT MY FIFTH AMENDMENT RIGHT AGAINST BEING COMPELLED TO 177 00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:14,560 BE A WITNESS AGAINST MYSELF. FIFTH. 178 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,629 FIFTH. FIFTH. 179 00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:22,768 FIFTH. FIFTH. 180 00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:24,069 >> Stephen: GOT IT. QUICK FOLLOW-UP, ON A SCALE OF 181 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:25,271 ONE TO FIVE, FIFTH BEING THE ABSOLUTE WORST, WHERE WOULD YOU 182 00:13:25,337 --> 00:13:29,074 FALL? >> FIFTH. 183 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:33,078 >> Stephen: GOT IT. ONE MORE, IF YOU DON'T MINDK 184 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:36,916 COUPLE MOVE FOLLOWUP QUESTION, WHAT'S THE BEST "FAST AND 185 00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:38,284 FURIOUS" MOVIE? >> FIFTH. 186 00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:39,552 >> Stephen: "FAST FIVE," A CLASSIC. 187 00:13:39,618 --> 00:13:40,819 FINALLY, SIR, WHAT SIZE BOTTLE OF BOURBON DO YOU DRINK AT NIGHT 188 00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:42,922 TO FORGET YOUR CENTRAL ROLE IN THE DARKEST DAY IN OUR CAPITOL'S 189 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:49,061 HISTORY? >> FIFTH. 190 00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:55,401 >> Stephen: CHEERS. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 191 00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:57,069 TONIGHT. MY GUEST IS TOM HANKS. 192 00:13:57,136 --> 00:14:00,906 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I CALL A FAMILY MEETING WITH AMERICA. 193 00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:02,875 GET DOWN HERE, YOUNG MAN. 194 00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:49,088 >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK. GIVE IT UP FOR STAY HUMAN, 195 00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:51,824 EVERYBODY. THANKS, EVERYBODY. 196 00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:54,226 LOUIS, YOU KNOW I'M GRATEFUL TO EVERYBODY WHO COMES ON THIS SHOW 197 00:14:54,293 --> 00:15:03,702 AND WE HAVE SOME AMAZING GUEST, WHO WOODWARD AND BERNSTEIN, EMMA 198 00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:06,872 THOMPSON THIS WEEK, BRYAN CRANSTON, BUT TONIGHT THERE IS 199 00:15:06,939 --> 00:15:12,945 NOTHING THE HOST OF ONE OF THESE SHOWS WANTS TO SEE MORE ON THE 200 00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:16,815 BOARD OTHER THAN TOM HANKS. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 201 00:15:16,882 --> 00:15:20,552 >> THOMAS HANKS IS HERE TONIGHT. SO THAT IS GOING TO BE FUN, DO 202 00:15:20,619 --> 00:15:25,691 STICK AROUND FOR THAT. NOW FOLKS, 203 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,961 NOW, I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE CONSIDER ME TO BE A 204 00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:30,362 SOMETHING OF A FATHER FIGURE. IN FACT, FOR SOME REASON, A LOT 205 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:33,766 OF PEOPLE ON TWITTER LIKE TO CALL ME "DADDY." 206 00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:37,736 EVEN MORE CONFUSING? SOME OF THEM ACTUALLY WANT A 207 00:15:37,803 --> 00:15:41,707 SPANKING. NOW, I LOVE BEING A TV DAD, AND 208 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:45,544 I DON'T TAKE THE TITLE LIGHTLY. AND RIGHT NOW, THINGS FEEL 209 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,547 UNSETTLED IN AMERICA. I THINK WE COULD ALL USE A 210 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:49,715 LITTLE REASSURANCE. SO, FOLKS, DAD IS CALLING A 211 00:15:49,782 --> 00:16:04,663 FAMILY MEETING! >> Stephen: HEY, KIDDO. 212 00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:05,731 FAMILY MEETING! >> Stephen: HEY, KIDDO. 213 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:11,837 TAKE A SEAT. COP A SQUAT, BUDDY, OKAY, 214 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:13,105 WE NEED TO TALK. NOW I KNOW YOU'RE MAD AT ME 215 00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:15,207 BECAUSE I WOULDN'T LEND YOU THE CAR, BUT WITH GAS PRICES THE WAY 216 00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:19,478 THEY ARE, IT'S CHEAPER FOR YOU TO FLY TO YOUR FRIENDS HOUSE. 217 00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,347 AND I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT ANOTHER LECTURE FROM YOUR 218 00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:24,817 OL' TV DAD, HERE... WHICH IS WHY I'VE ALSO INVITED 219 00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:29,722 YOUR MOVIE DAD TO JOIN US. TOM, COME ON IN. 220 00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:44,670 TOM, COME ON IN. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 221 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:49,708 TOM, COME ON IN. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 222 00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:55,013 HEY, BLUEDEE, BUDDY. >> LISTEN, YOU GOT TO LISTEN. 223 00:16:55,080 --> 00:17:01,720 IT IS GREAT TO SEE YOU BUT PLEASE PUT THOSE MUSCLES AWAY. 224 00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:05,190 YOU'VE BEEN WORKING OUT. >> BUDDY, YOUR DAD AND I HAVE 225 00:17:05,257 --> 00:17:06,792 NOTICED YOU'VE BEEN FEELING PRETTY ANXIOUS LATELY. 226 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:13,732 >> WE KNOW THERE IS ALOT TO THINK ABOUT 227 00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:15,267 THINK ABOUT-- ALL THE CHANGES GOING ON IN THIS COUNTRY, ALL 228 00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:18,570 THE CHANGES GOING ON IN YOUR SWIMSUIT AREA, PEOPLE TALKING 229 00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:19,638 ABOUT YOUR SWIMSUIT AREA-- IT'S ALL PRETTY UPSETTING. 230 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:20,873 >> Stephen: AND YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST. 231 00:17:20,939 --> 00:17:22,007 IT FEELS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY YOU WERE CRAWLING AROUND ON THE 232 00:17:22,074 --> 00:17:24,042 FLOOR IN NOTHING BUT YOUR UNDERWEAR, EATING SPAGHETTI 233 00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,811 STRAIGHT OUT OF THE BOWL WITH YOUR HANDS... 234 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:33,218 >> BUT WE WERE ALL DOING THAT BACK IN 2020. 235 00:17:33,285 --> 00:17:35,721 IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON. SON. 236 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:39,291 >> Stephen: BUT SADLY WE CAN'T BECAUSE CORONAVIRUS IS 237 00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:40,459 STICKING AROUND MUCH LONGER THAN WE ALL THOUGHT. 238 00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:41,460 >> YEAH, COVID IS KIND OF LIKE WHEN YOUR UNCLE BILL STAYS 239 00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:44,496 WITH US. HE SAYS HE'S GOING TO BE HERE 240 00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:45,864 FOR TWO WEEKS, BUT YOU KNOW HE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL JANICE 241 00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:49,735 FORGIVES HIM FOR THE WHOLE "BUYING A HOUSEBOAT WITHOUT 242 00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,236 ASKING HER" THING. >> Stephen: BY THE WAY, YOUR 243 00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:57,209 UNCLE BILL HAS COVID. >> AND ALSO SCURVY. 244 00:17:57,276 --> 00:18:00,946 BUT HERE'S THE THING, CHAMP. I KNOW HOW TOUGH THIS CAN BE. 245 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:02,181 IN FACT, NOT TO BRAG, BUT I WAS ONE OF THE FIRST TO GET COVID. 246 00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:16,962 BACK BEFORE IT WAS COOL-- WHICH IT NEVER WAS! 247 00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:18,163 >> Stephen: AND WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT PEER PRESSURE. 248 00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:20,899 I KNOW, A LOT OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE TELLING YOU TO TAKE DRUGS. 249 00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:25,737 >> SO, LISTEN UP, BECAUSE WE'RE ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE: 250 00:18:25,804 --> 00:18:32,144 >> TAKE THE DRUGS. >> Stephen: THOSE VACCINES AND 251 00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:33,645 BOOSTERS REALLY WORK. >> AND, KIDDO, WE KNOW WHAT IT'S 252 00:18:33,712 --> 00:18:36,715 LIKE TO BE YOUR AGE. >> Stephen: THE WORLD CAN BE SO 253 00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:37,716 CONFUSING. SOMETIMES YOU WISH YOU WERE ALL 254 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:41,086 GROWN UP ALREADY. >> EXACTLY. 255 00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:42,554 SO, YOU VISIT A MAGIC FORTUNE-TELLING MACHINE, WAKE UP 256 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:45,224 AS AN ADULT, MOVE TO THE BIG CITY, 257 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:49,628 GET A JOB AT A TOY COMPANY, START A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH 258 00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:52,397 AN ACTUAL ADULT WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON-- WHICH IS 259 00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:53,732 REALLY FUNNY BUT IN RETROSPECT IS PRETTY DISTURBING-- 260 00:18:53,799 --> 00:19:03,208 WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE! >> Stephen: AND WE KNOW THE 261 00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:05,544 FUTURE CAN SEEM SCARY, TOO. IT'S A TOUGH JOB MARKET OUT 262 00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:07,379 THERE. >> BUT IF YOU PUT YOUR MIND 263 00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:10,716 TO IT, YOU CAN STILL BE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE. 264 00:19:10,782 --> 00:19:13,185 >> Stephen: JUST NOT A COMEDIAN. >> OR AN ACTOR. 265 00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:14,319 >> Stephen: YEAH, THOSE ARE OUR JOBS. 266 00:19:14,386 --> 00:19:17,689 AND WE CANNOT LOSE THEM. THE MARKET IS KILLING ME RIGHT 267 00:19:17,756 --> 00:19:19,358 NOW. >> REALLY? 268 00:19:19,424 --> 00:19:21,226 I PUT ALL MY MONEY INTO OLD TYPEWRITERS. 269 00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:24,930 BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT TO UNPLUG FROM THE INTERNET EVERY 270 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,198 ONCE IN A WHILE. >> Stephen: SPEAKING OF WHICH, 271 00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:29,735 WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA USAGE. 272 00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:32,871 >> SPECIFICALLY, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ACCEPT MY FACEBOOK 273 00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:35,541 REQUEST? >> Stephen: WHAT'RE YOU, TOO 274 00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:41,079 BUSY USING THE TIKTOK? DO WE NEED TO DO ONE OF YOUR 275 00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:42,781 VIRAL DANCES JUST TO GET YOUR ATTENTION? 276 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:57,729 FINE! (LIZZO DANCE) 277 00:19:57,796 --> 00:20:04,803 FINE! (LIZZO DANCE) 278 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:05,971 ♪ >> AWAY-HEY-HEY-HEY! 279 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:09,308 LOOK AT YOUR DADS WHILE WE'RE TIKTOK-ING TO YOU! 280 00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:12,778 >> Stephen: AND BUDDY, BEFORE I FORGET: HERE'S YOUR ALLOWANCE. 281 00:20:12,844 --> 00:20:13,879 I'D TELL YOU TO SAVE IT. BUT WITH INFLATION, YOU BETTER 282 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:18,317 BLOW THAT FAST! >> AND, KIDDO? 283 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:21,086 REMEMBER: IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING, WE'LL BE RIGHT HERE. 284 00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:29,294 >> Stephen: DOING THIS. (TIK TOK DANCE) 285 00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:31,330 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH TOM HANKS! 286 00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:56,888 HEY, EVERYBODY. WELCOME BACK. 287 00:20:56,955 --> 00:20:58,790 LEAD LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'M HAPPY TO SAY 288 00:20:58,857 --> 00:20:59,858 MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN OSCAR-WINNING GREAT BIG MOVIE 289 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:05,330 STAR. PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE 290 00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:20,278 LATE SHOW," TOM HANKS! 291 00:21:20,345 --> 00:21:21,747 LATE SHOW," TOM HANKS! 292 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:30,822 >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 293 00:21:30,889 --> 00:21:34,593 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. OH MAN. 294 00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:37,329 THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WHAT A PLEASURE IT IS TO BE IN 295 00:21:37,396 --> 00:21:43,001 THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER HERE BECAUSE LOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF 296 00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:46,938 YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS, STEPHEN. >> Stephen: GO ON. 297 00:21:47,005 --> 00:21:49,975 >> I'M IN A MOVIE CALLED ELVIS-- ELVIS, ABOUT ELVIS, THE 298 00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:55,480 PRESSLEY ONE, AND THIS ACTUAL PLACE PLAYED VERY LARGE IN OUR 299 00:21:55,547 --> 00:22:02,154 TOWN BECAUSE I PLAY CORONEL TOM PARKER, I DON'T NEED TO 300 00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:03,855 IMMEDIATELY START HOCKING MY PRODUCT BUT I WAS OUT EARLIER. 301 00:22:03,922 --> 00:22:07,626 >> Stephen: GETS TO THE HEAT OF THE MEAT. 302 00:22:07,693 --> 00:22:09,961 >> SHOW THE CLIP AND I'M GOING HOME, THANKS EVERYBODY. 303 00:22:10,028 --> 00:22:11,797 >> Stephen: PUT SOME ASS IN THE SEAT. 304 00:22:11,863 --> 00:22:14,199 >> BUT THE NIGHT AFTER ELVIS PERFORMED ON THE ED SULLIVAN 305 00:22:14,266 --> 00:22:16,668 SHOW, 60 MILLION AMERICANS WATCHED HIM ON-- I THINK THERE 306 00:22:16,735 --> 00:22:20,405 WERE ONLY 60 MILLION AND TWO TV SETS IN AMERICA. 307 00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:22,174 >> Stephen: ARE YOU NOT JOKING, IT WAS AN EXTRAORDINARY 308 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:23,709 NUMBER. >> IT WAS HUGE. 309 00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:27,746 AND THE VERY NEXT DAY COLONEL TOM PARKER REALIZED THAT 310 00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:31,216 EVERYBODY IN AMERICA IS TALKING ABOUT ELVIS PRESSLEY SO HE IS NO 311 00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:34,186 LONGER GOING TO APPEAR FOR FREE ON TV. 312 00:22:34,252 --> 00:22:37,422 AFTER THAT MOMENTS YOU HAD TO EITHER BUY A RECORD OR A TICKET 313 00:22:37,489 --> 00:22:40,525 TO HIS SHOW OR A TICKET TO ONE OF HIS MOVIES OR LISTEN TO HIM 314 00:22:40,592 --> 00:22:45,030 ON THE RADIO FOR WHICH COLONEL TOM PARKER GOT A FEW CENTS EVERY 315 00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:47,332 TIME IT PLAYED. >> Stephen: ELVIS GOT 316 00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:51,236 SOMETHING, IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, HE GOT $50,000 TO APPEAR THREE 317 00:22:51,303 --> 00:22:53,305 TIMES ON THE SULLIVAN SHOW WHICH WAS CRAZY AMOUNT OF MONEY BACK 318 00:22:53,371 --> 00:22:55,107 THEN. >> BECAUSE ED WOULD GO OFF, HE 319 00:22:55,173 --> 00:22:59,611 UNDERSTOOD IT WAS WORTH PAYING MONEY AND AFTER THAT, AS COLONEL 320 00:22:59,678 --> 00:23:03,014 TOM PARKER HIMSELF SAID WELL, I WILL BE HAPPY TO PUT MY BOY ON 321 00:23:03,081 --> 00:23:06,585 TELEVISION PROVIDED THEY PAY THE PRICE AND THAT PRICE IS $50,000. 322 00:23:06,651 --> 00:23:08,186 AND NOBODY WANTED TO PAY THAT. THERE IT IS. 323 00:23:08,253 --> 00:23:12,157 >> Stephen: THERE IS ELVIS PERFORMING ON THE ED SULLIVAN 324 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:17,596 SHOW OCTOBER 28th, 19 A 6. >> IT WAS SOMEWHERE, RIGHT 325 00:23:17,662 --> 00:23:22,100 AROUND THERE, IS WHERE. >> AND YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST LIKE 326 00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:24,236 A SOFT LIGHT SHINING DOWN ON THAT LITTLE SPACE. 327 00:23:24,302 --> 00:23:27,339 >> Stephen: NOT ONLY THAT BUT THERE IS KIND OF INTERESTING AM 328 00:23:27,405 --> 00:23:31,243 BACK THEN THE BIG VACCINE PEOPLE WORRIED ABOUT WAS POLIO VACCINE, 329 00:23:31,309 --> 00:23:33,345 THAT EVERYBODY SHOULD HAVE BUT PEOPLE WERE NERVOUS ABOUT IT. 330 00:23:33,411 --> 00:23:39,050 BACKSTAGE ON THAT NIGHT, FOR THE PUBLIC GOOD, HE GOT VACCINATED 331 00:23:39,117 --> 00:23:43,688 AT THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW. >> FOR THE COMMON GOOD. 332 00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:46,191 >> Stephen: OKAY. I LOVE THE NEW MOVIE ELVIS, YOU 333 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:49,461 PLAY COLONEL TOM PARKER AS YOU WERE SAYING BEFORE. 334 00:23:49,528 --> 00:23:51,596 I ALWAYS KNEW THE COLONEL WAS THERE. 335 00:23:51,663 --> 00:23:52,831 >> YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE. 336 00:23:52,898 --> 00:23:55,033 >> Stephen: I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE, WHAT HE SOUNDED 337 00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:56,902 LIKE, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE DID. WHO WAS THIS. 338 00:23:56,968 --> 00:24:00,672 >> COLONEL TOM PARKER WAS NOT A COLONEL AND HIS NAME WASN'T TOM 339 00:24:00,739 --> 00:24:03,408 AND HE WASN'T EVEN A PARKER. HIS REAL NAME WAS ANDREAS VAN 340 00:24:03,475 --> 00:24:07,679 KISS, HE JUMPED SHIP FROM HOLLAND, HAD NO AMERICAN PASS 341 00:24:07,746 --> 00:24:10,182 PORT, JUST WANTED TO GET INTO THE CIRCUS BUSINESS, WHICH HE 342 00:24:10,248 --> 00:24:13,218 WAS. AND HE REPRESENTED A FEW, HE 343 00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:15,453 REPRESENTED EDDIE ARNOLD PROMOTING HIS CAREER THEN ONE 344 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:19,591 DAY HE HEARD ABOUT THIS YOUNG GUY WHO WAS RIPPING UP THE 345 00:24:19,658 --> 00:24:21,927 RECORD THAT EVERYBODY WAS LISTENING TO. 346 00:24:21,993 --> 00:24:24,029 HE THOUGHT HE WAS BLACK. TURNED OUT HE WAS WHITE. 347 00:24:24,095 --> 00:24:28,667 AND THEN HE HAPPENED TO SEE HIM PERFORM ONE DAY ON, IN LOUISIANA 348 00:24:28,733 --> 00:24:33,905 AT THE LOUISIANA HAYRIDE AND PAID NO ATTENTION TO WHAT, MY 349 00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:37,008 BOY, HE PAID NO ATTENTION TO WHAT THE BOY WAS SINGING. 350 00:24:37,075 --> 00:24:38,677 HE LOOKED AT WHAT THE EFFECT WAS ON THE AUDIENCE. 351 00:24:38,743 --> 00:24:43,682 AND IT IS ONE THING TO SEE YOUNG GIRLS TO BE EXCITED BY THE LIKES 352 00:24:43,748 --> 00:24:47,686 OF ELVIS PRESSLEY BUT WHEN THEIR 40 YEAR OLD MOMS ALSO ARE 353 00:24:47,752 --> 00:24:51,656 LITERALLY HAVING FEELINGS THAT MAYBE THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE IN 354 00:24:51,723 --> 00:24:54,860 PUBLIC, HE SAID HMMMM, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO MAKE SOME MONEY AT 355 00:24:54,926 --> 00:24:58,196 THIS. CUZ MA'AM, WHAT WAS IT THAT WAS 356 00:24:58,263 --> 00:25:01,499 SO-- OH HONEY, IS HE JUST A BIG HUNK OF FORBIDDEN FRUIT, 357 00:25:01,566 --> 00:25:04,536 FORBIDDEN FRUIT IS SOLD AT A PREMIUM IN MOST SUPERMARKETS IN 358 00:25:04,603 --> 00:25:06,204 ERCK MA. HE WAS A DIABOLICAL GENIUS IN 359 00:25:06,271 --> 00:25:12,444 EVERY WAY, INCREDIBLY PRESH ENT, KIND OF LIKE INVENTED MODERN 360 00:25:12,510 --> 00:25:14,880 SHOW BUSINESS AND MODERN RECORDING BUSINESS AND NO SMALL 361 00:25:14,946 --> 00:25:19,217 PART OF MAKING SURE THAT HIS BOY REMAINED EXCLUSIVE, YOU KNOW. 362 00:25:19,284 --> 00:25:23,788 YOU HAD TO DECIDE TO PAY TO SEE OR HEAR ELVIS PRESSLEY. 363 00:25:23,855 --> 00:25:26,758 IT WAS A GREAT, THERE WAS A GREAT, SOME GUY IS ASKING HIM DO 364 00:25:26,825 --> 00:25:31,696 YOU THINK, MR. PARKER, DO YOU THINK THAT ELVIS' POPULARITY IS 365 00:25:31,763 --> 00:25:36,301 BASED ON HIS SO CALLED SEX APPEAL, HIS SHAKING AND 366 00:25:36,368 --> 00:25:39,838 WIGGLING, WELL, LET ME TELL YOU THAT I HAVE A VIVID IMAGINATION 367 00:25:39,905 --> 00:25:43,675 MYSELF AND I HAVE LISTENED TO MR. PRESSLEY'S RECORDS AND TO 368 00:25:43,742 --> 00:25:49,214 THE BEST OF MY ABILITY, I AM NOT ABLE TO SEE HIM WILLING. 369 00:25:49,281 --> 00:25:52,183 SO I ACTUALLY HAVE A FEELING IT MIGHT BE A DIFFERENT TYPE OF 370 00:25:52,250 --> 00:25:56,655 ARTIST THAT WE ARE SPEAKING ABOUT AND HE WAS ABSOLUTELY DEAD 371 00:25:56,721 --> 00:25:57,923 SOLID. >> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP 372 00:25:57,989 --> 00:26:04,796 HERE, IF YOU AS COLONEL PARKER AND AUSTIN BUTLER AS ELVIS, WHAT 373 00:26:04,863 --> 00:26:06,631 IS HAPPENING. >> THIS SAY PRESSURED MOMENT, 374 00:26:06,698 --> 00:26:11,169 THIS IS THE MOMENT WHERE THE CULTURAL ZEITGEIST OF WESTERN 375 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:15,907 SOCIETY CHANGED FOREVER. I WASN'T FOOLING WHEN I TOLD 376 00:26:15,974 --> 00:26:17,609 THEM I WOULD BUY THEM A CADILLAC ONE DAY. 377 00:26:17,676 --> 00:26:25,116 >> MY BOY, WITH ME YOU WILL BUY THEM TWO CADILLACS. 378 00:26:25,183 --> 00:26:28,920 >> AN AIRPLANE. >> A ROCKET SHIP. 379 00:26:28,987 --> 00:26:32,924 >> MY MAMA IS GOING LIKELY TO FLY. 380 00:26:32,991 --> 00:26:37,662 WHAT BUT, MR. PRESSLEY. ARE YOU READY? 381 00:26:37,729 --> 00:26:40,265 TO FLY? >> YES, SIR. 382 00:26:40,332 --> 00:26:45,303 >> ALL RIGHT. >> READY TO FLY. 383 00:26:45,370 --> 00:26:49,507 AUSTIN BUTLER, I CAN'T SAY ENOUGH. 384 00:26:49,574 --> 00:26:50,675 >> EXTRAORDINARY. >> 385 00:26:50,742 --> 00:26:53,511 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK, RIGHT 386 00:26:53,578 --> 00:26:55,447 BACK WITH MORE MR. TOM HANKS, STICK AROUND. 387 00:27:03,955 --> 00:27:07,692 >> Stephen: HEY EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO THE PRASM 388 00:27:07,759 --> 00:27:09,995 ALREADY IN PROGRESS, RIGHT THERE, YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS, 389 00:27:10,061 --> 00:27:14,132 THAT IS MR. TOM HANKS. >> AS SOON AS THE MOVIE WAS 390 00:27:14,199 --> 00:27:17,035 OVER, I SAW IT WITH MY SON, HE SAID WHAT DO YOU THINK, I SAID 391 00:27:17,102 --> 00:27:25,243 IT'S GREAT T IS A GREAT MOVIE AND PART OF IT WAS THE-- BAZ 392 00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:28,947 LETTERMAN OF IT, BECAUSE IF YOU LOVE BAZ LETTERMAN, THIS IS THE 393 00:27:29,014 --> 00:27:33,952 MOST BAZ LETTER MININ IN MY OPINION THAT HE HAS EVER LETTER 394 00:27:34,019 --> 00:27:39,057 MONNED AND ONE OF THE REASONS WHY, THERE IS A LOT OF GLITZ AND 395 00:27:39,124 --> 00:27:43,895 SHINE AND ALMOST LIKE JEWEL AND GEM QUALITY TO HIS FILM AND I 396 00:27:43,962 --> 00:27:46,531 CAN'T THINK OF A SUBJECT THAT COULD RECEIVE IT BETTER THAN 397 00:27:46,598 --> 00:27:49,901 ELVIS PRESSLEY. NOW WHAT I THOUGHT, THIS COULD 398 00:27:49,968 --> 00:27:53,438 HAVE USED A LITTLE MORE BAZ LETTERMAN BECAUSE HE IS SUCH A 399 00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:58,076 HUGE FIGURE AND COULD RECEIVE THE GRANDEUR THAT HE PUTS INTO A 400 00:27:58,143 --> 00:28:00,545 FILM. >> THIS MIGHT BE THE FIRST BAZ 401 00:28:00,612 --> 00:28:03,415 LETTERMAN WHICH ACTUALLY REQUIRED ALL THE BEDAZZLING THAT 402 00:28:03,481 --> 00:28:05,517 WENT INTO IT. >> Stephen: HONEST TO GOD. 403 00:28:05,583 --> 00:28:08,286 >> ALL THE JUMPSUIT, A LOT OF CONFETTI. 404 00:28:08,353 --> 00:28:12,924 EVERY WEEK WE WOULD TAKE AN OLD ELVIS MOVIE POSTER AND MAKE IT 405 00:28:12,991 --> 00:28:17,462 BAZ SENT RICK, YOU KNOW, LIKE IT HAPPENED AT THE WORLD FAIR, IT 406 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:23,701 HAPPENED AT BAZFAIR, GIRL, GIRLS GIRLS BECAME BAZ BAZ BAZ, VIVA 407 00:28:23,768 --> 00:28:26,604 LAS VEGAS BECAME VIVA BAZ VEGAS. >> Stephen: DID YOU BATCH 408 00:28:26,671 --> 00:28:28,206 THOSE FILMED. >> I WATCHED EVERY ONE I COULD 409 00:28:28,273 --> 00:28:31,910 GET MY HANDS ON. >> Stephen: FOLLOW THAT DREAM. 410 00:28:31,976 --> 00:28:35,747 >> OKAY, AND MY, MY FORMER MAKEUP MAN DANNY STREPECK WHO I 411 00:28:35,814 --> 00:28:41,519 DID PROBABLY 14 FILMS WITH. HE DID ELVIS' TAN FOR FOUR 412 00:28:41,586 --> 00:28:43,521 MOVIES. >> HIS TAN. 413 00:28:43,588 --> 00:28:45,523 >> WELL, VIVA LAS VEGAS, WHAT YOU REMEMBER ABOUT T HE DIDN'T 414 00:28:45,590 --> 00:28:50,528 DO HIS SCARS, HIS BLACK EYES, ELVIS WAS A GOOD LOOKING DUDE, 415 00:28:50,595 --> 00:28:58,069 BUT HE DID HAREM SCAREEM WHICH WAS NOT ONE OF THE BETTER, SHOT 416 00:28:58,136 --> 00:29:00,004 IN LIKE 22 DAYS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 417 00:29:00,071 --> 00:29:02,774 BUT HE ALSO DO THE ONE YOU JUST MENTIONED. 418 00:29:02,841 --> 00:29:06,411 >> Stephen: FOLLOW THAT DREAM. >> DOWN TO MIAMI. 419 00:29:06,478 --> 00:29:11,015 >> FOLLOW THAT DREAM. >> I WILL TELL YOU THE STORY 420 00:29:11,082 --> 00:29:13,351 THAT DANNY TOLD ME. ON THAT, I DON'T WANT TO 421 00:29:13,418 --> 00:29:16,588 SAY-- ON A MOVIE THAT DANNY DID, OKAY. 422 00:29:16,654 --> 00:29:19,958 THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL WHO WAS PLAYING SOMEBODY IN THE THING. 423 00:29:20,024 --> 00:29:23,595 >> Stephen: YES. >> AND SHE WAS VERY ATTRACTIVE 424 00:29:23,661 --> 00:29:26,531 AS AND SHE WAS VERY THRILLED TO BE IN A MOVIE WITH ELVIS. 425 00:29:26,598 --> 00:29:29,000 AND SHE WENT THROUGH THE MOVIE AND IT WAS ALL FINE. 426 00:29:29,067 --> 00:29:33,304 AND ON HER LAST DAY OF FILM SHE CAME INTO THE HAIR AND MAKEUP 427 00:29:33,371 --> 00:29:37,041 TRAILER AND HE WAS JUST DES POND ENT. 428 00:29:37,108 --> 00:29:41,946 WHAT IS IT, HONEY-- SHE WA, AND THEY WERE TRYING TO PUT HER HAIR 429 00:29:42,013 --> 00:29:45,850 ON, TRYING TO DO HER MAKEUP, HER MASCARA AND SHE KEPT CRYING AND 430 00:29:45,917 --> 00:29:49,721 CRYING AND CRYING AND CRYING. AND WHAT, WHAT IS IT, HONEY, WE 431 00:29:49,787 --> 00:29:53,992 HAVE TO GET YOU READY. >> WHAT IS IT, YOU HAVE TO, WE 432 00:29:54,058 --> 00:29:58,196 HAVE TO GET YOU READY. >> I'M TRYING TO THINK ABOUT THE 433 00:29:58,263 --> 00:30:01,833 EUPHEMISM PARTICULAR WORD, LET ME JUST SAY SAY THIS-- I JUST 434 00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:10,508 WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM. IS THAT SO BAD? 435 00:30:10,575 --> 00:30:14,445 I JUST WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM! 436 00:30:14,512 --> 00:30:17,081 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK, WE'LL BE 437 00:30:17,148 --> 00:30:19,651 RIGHT BACK WITH MORE MR. TOM HANKS, EVERYBODY. 438 00:30:33,031 --> 00:30:37,168 >> Stephen: HEY, WE'RE BACK WITH TOM HANKS, EVERYBODY. 439 00:30:37,235 --> 00:30:39,404 >> MR. TOM HANKS, ONE OF THE THINGS, ONE OF THE THINGS THAT 440 00:30:39,470 --> 00:30:47,679 HIT ME, AND THIS NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT AUSTIN BUTT LETTER, THIS 441 00:30:47,745 --> 00:30:48,947 PERFORMANCE. >> EXTRAORDINARY. 442 00:30:49,013 --> 00:30:50,748 >> Stephen: YOU CAN'T SAY ENOUGH. 443 00:30:50,815 --> 00:30:57,121 >> CAN'T SAY ENOUGH. >> Stephen: NOT ONLY DOES HE 444 00:30:57,188 --> 00:31:00,258 CAPTURE THE VOICE, THE SPEAKING VOICE, THE SINGING VOICE FOR 445 00:31:00,325 --> 00:31:07,932 MUCH OF THE MOVIE AS WELL, THE MANNERISMS, THE DANCING, DEEPLY 446 00:31:07,999 --> 00:31:11,469 FELT, DEEPLY EXPRESSED, EMOTIONAL SCENES BUT THE 447 00:31:11,536 --> 00:31:15,940 MAGNETISM OF THE MAN AND HIS CONNECTION WITH AN AUDIENCE. 448 00:31:16,007 --> 00:31:20,044 AND ONE OF THE REASONS WHY IF IS AN ABSOLUTELY GREAT MOVIE IS I 449 00:31:20,111 --> 00:31:23,815 KIND OF FELT LIKE I GOT AN INTIMATE LOOK AT THE REAL ELVIS 450 00:31:23,881 --> 00:31:26,117 IN THE TWO AND A HALF HOURS. AND IT REMINDED ME, THE 451 00:31:26,184 --> 00:31:29,721 PERFORMANCE WAS SO GOOD THAT IT REMINDED ME THAT I HAVE 452 00:31:29,787 --> 00:31:34,459 FORGOTTEN THAT I HAVE A LITTLE CANDLE LIT IN MY HEART FOR ELVIS 453 00:31:34,525 --> 00:31:37,695 PRESSLEY AND THERE A REASON WHY THERE IS ALL THIS KITCH T BUT IT 454 00:31:37,762 --> 00:31:42,000 IS NOT THAT, ST ABSOLUTELY MAGNETIC, BEAUTIFUL, GIFTED ONCE 455 00:31:42,066 --> 00:31:45,703 IN A LIFETIME PERFORMER. >> I AM SLIGHTLY OLDER THAN YOU, 456 00:31:45,770 --> 00:31:49,107 BUT I DID NOT SEE THE 1968 SPECIAL WHICH BECAME KNOWN AS 457 00:31:49,173 --> 00:31:50,475 THE COMEBACK SPECIAL. >> Stephen: I DIDN'T EITHER 458 00:31:50,541 --> 00:31:55,179 BUT I DID ASK MY MOM IF I COULD STAY UP LATE IN FEBRUARY OF 1974 459 00:31:55,246 --> 00:31:59,050 AND DRAG MY BED INTO MY BROTHER PETER'S ROOM AND PUT THEIR BLACK 460 00:31:59,117 --> 00:32:04,422 AND WHITE TV ON BOXES TO WATCH THE ALOHA CONCERT, WHICH WAS 1.5 461 00:32:04,489 --> 00:32:07,592 BILLION PEOPLE, WATCHED THAT. >> BY THE WAY DREAMED UP BY 462 00:32:07,659 --> 00:32:09,193 COLONEL TOM PARKER. WHY WOULD YOU GO TRAVEL AND THE 463 00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:11,963 WORLD WHEN THE WORLD WILL TUNE IN TO SEE YOU, YOU DON'T HAVE TO 464 00:32:12,030 --> 00:32:13,197 DO THAT. >> Stephen: BUT THE BACK STORY 465 00:32:13,264 --> 00:32:16,834 WAS HE COULDN'T TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD BECAUSE. 466 00:32:16,901 --> 00:32:18,136 >> BECAUSE HE HAD NO PASSPORT POTTER. 467 00:32:18,202 --> 00:32:21,205 HE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ALLOWED INTO THE COUNTRY. 468 00:32:21,272 --> 00:32:24,242 SHHH. SPOILER ALERT, THANK, GUYS NOW 469 00:32:24,309 --> 00:32:26,544 WHO IS GOING TO SEE THE MOVIE NOW. 470 00:32:26,611 --> 00:32:29,113 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. YOU CANNOT. 471 00:32:29,180 --> 00:32:31,816 >> Stephen: I'M SO SORRY. >> CAN YOU NOT DO THAT. 472 00:32:31,883 --> 00:32:34,252 >> Stephen: SOR SORRY, WE CAN'T DO THAT. 473 00:32:34,319 --> 00:32:40,491 >> BECAUSE OF AUSTIN'S POWER AND THE FROM THE 68Y COMEBACK 474 00:32:40,558 --> 00:32:44,295 SPECIAL, YOU GET A REAL DIFFERENT SORT OF VISION OF WHAT 475 00:32:44,362 --> 00:32:47,965 ELVIS MEANT TO THE ZEITGEIST BECAUSE HE TURNED LAS VEGAS INTO 476 00:32:48,032 --> 00:32:53,705 A PLACE WORTHY OF SUPERSTARS TO GO AND IN IS PLENTY OF GOOD 477 00:32:53,771 --> 00:32:56,607 ENTERTAINMENT BUT ELVIS BEING THERE, I USED TO WORK FOR THE 478 00:32:56,674 --> 00:33:00,311 HILTON HOTEL'S CORPORATION AS A BELMAN AND IF YOU CALL ME A BELL 479 00:33:00,378 --> 00:33:03,281 BOY I'M GOING TO CRACK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR SMART MOUTH. 480 00:33:03,348 --> 00:33:06,484 >> Stephen: HOW OLD WERE YOU AS A BELL PERSON. 481 00:33:06,551 --> 00:33:09,721 >> I WAS 19, I WASN'T A BELL BOY AT ALL, I WAS A BELMAN AND FOR 482 00:33:09,787 --> 00:33:16,394 THE OAKLAND HILTON HOTEL, NATURALLY OAKLAND HILTON MOTOR 483 00:33:16,461 --> 00:33:18,763 LODGE I THINK IT WAS CALLED, BUT WE HAD A THING OF WHO WAS 484 00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:21,733 PLAYING AT THE VEGAS INTERNATIONAL AND WHEN ELVIS WAS 485 00:33:21,799 --> 00:33:25,703 UP THERE, EVERYBODY SAYS OH WOW, ELVIS IS IN LAS VEGAS WE WERE 486 00:33:25,770 --> 00:33:29,307 TOLD, THAT'S RIGHT, SIR, HELP MAKING RESERVATIONS, YOU CAN 487 00:33:29,374 --> 00:33:31,943 CERTAINLY TALK TO SO AND SO AT THE FRONT DESK SO I WOULD LIKE 488 00:33:32,009 --> 00:33:33,778 TO THINK I HAD A LITTLE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE 489 00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:41,085 PROMOTION OF ELVIS'-- ALWAYS THINKING. 490 00:33:41,152 --> 00:33:42,820 DIABOLICAL GENIUS. >> Stephen: WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW 491 00:33:42,887 --> 00:33:46,290 WAS THAT THE REASON WHY THERE WAS A COMEBACK IS THAT THE 492 00:33:46,357 --> 00:33:49,026 ORIGINAL SORT OF WHAT WE THINK OF AS CLASSIC ELVIS ONLY LASTED 493 00:33:49,093 --> 00:33:52,363 A FEW YEARS. >> IT ONLY LASTED FROM 56 TO 58, 494 00:33:52,430 --> 00:33:54,031 THEN WHEN HE CAME BACK HE WAS MAKING MOVIE Z. 495 00:33:54,098 --> 00:33:57,168 >> Stephen: WENT INTO THE ARMY. 496 00:33:57,235 --> 00:34:00,071 >> YEAH, WENT INTO THE RECALL'S FOR WELL OVER TWO YEARS, CAME 497 00:34:00,138 --> 00:34:03,508 BACK HAD A FABULOUS SPECIAL HOSTED BY FRANK SINATRA, 498 00:34:03,574 --> 00:34:06,377 WELCOMING ELVIS BACK FROM-- ELVIS IS BACK FROM THE 499 00:34:06,444 --> 00:34:07,912 ARMY SHOW AND THAT WAS A BIG THING. 500 00:34:07,979 --> 00:34:10,915 THAT WAS THE LAST TIME HE PERFORMED IN FRONT OF A LIVE 501 00:34:10,982 --> 00:34:13,718 TELEVISION AUDIENCE, HE DIDN'T DO IT AGAIN UNTIL 1968 AND 502 00:34:13,785 --> 00:34:17,722 ELEVATOR VISES WAS PETRIFIED OF THE IDEA OF PERFORMING AGAIN IN 503 00:34:17,789 --> 00:34:21,225 FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE. SRS AND ALL THOSE MOVIES. 504 00:34:21,292 --> 00:34:24,595 >> HE MADE THOSE MOVIES, LOOK, I ACTUALLY THINK IF WE CAN GET 505 00:34:24,662 --> 00:34:27,298 SERIOUS ABOUT THE MOVIE BUSINESS, THE FIRST MOVIE CAME 506 00:34:27,365 --> 00:34:32,370 BACK TO WAS CALLED GI BLUE. JULY YET PROWS, HE SANG TO A 507 00:34:32,437 --> 00:34:37,141 WOODEN PUPPET, I DON'T HAVE A WOODERN HEAD IT WAS A HUGE 508 00:34:37,208 --> 00:34:39,410 POPULAR HIT BECAUSE ELVIS WAS ELVIS. 509 00:34:39,477 --> 00:34:42,513 HE SANG, HE WAS IN A UNIFORM. AND IT WAS MASSIVELY HUGE, THEN 510 00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:45,716 ELVIS MADE THREE VERY, VERY GOOD DRAMATIC ROLES FOR 20th 511 00:34:45,783 --> 00:34:51,222 CENTURY FOX, FLAMING STAR, WILD IN THE COUNTRY, AND SOME OTHER, 512 00:34:51,289 --> 00:34:54,559 I CAN'T REMEMBER. AND ALAS THEY DIDN'T DO WELL. 513 00:34:54,625 --> 00:34:59,430 AND THAT BROKE SORT OF LIKE A MAGIC M O.J. O BECAUSE THE 514 00:34:59,497 --> 00:35:03,234 FOREIGN MOVIES HE MADE BEFORE HE WENT INTO THE ARMY WERE GREAT 515 00:35:03,301 --> 00:35:06,771 MOVIE, KING CREOLE, JAIL HOUSE ROCK, THEY LIVED UP TO THE 516 00:35:06,838 --> 00:35:08,639 PROMISE OF WHAT HE WAS GOING TO DO. 517 00:35:08,706 --> 00:35:11,542 BUT THOSE THREE DRAMATIC ROLES WHERE HE DIDN'T SING, WHERE HE 518 00:35:11,609 --> 00:35:14,512 WASN'T KIND OF LIKE A HAPPY-GO-LUCKY THING, THAT MADE 519 00:35:14,579 --> 00:35:17,682 THE AUDIENCE AND THE MOVIE BUSINESS GO LIKE, I THINK ELVIS 520 00:35:17,748 --> 00:35:20,518 NEEDS TO SING IN ALL OF THESE. AND LOOK, I LOVE VIVA LAS VEGAS 521 00:35:20,585 --> 00:35:25,189 AS MUCH AS NIBBLES AND GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS BUT THREE MOVIES A 522 00:35:25,256 --> 00:35:28,926 YEAR HE MADE FOR FIVE YEARS, THAT IS A BACK BREAKING. 523 00:35:28,993 --> 00:35:30,194 >> Stephen: WHAT IS THE MOST YOU EVER MADE. 524 00:35:30,261 --> 00:35:38,135 >> I MADE SIX MOVIES IN A YEAR, NO, HAVE I NO IDEA. PLEASE, NO. 525 00:35:38,202 --> 00:35:41,305 >> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: HANK SAYS, I BEAT 526 00:35:41,372 --> 00:35:42,907 ELVIS. >> BUT THAT WAS AT A TIME WHERE 527 00:35:42,974 --> 00:35:48,379 I WAS TRYING TO GET INTO EVERY OTHER OCTOPLEX SCREEN IN THE 528 00:35:48,446 --> 00:35:49,714 COUNTRY. >> Stephen: TOM, LOVELY TO SEE 529 00:35:49,780 --> 00:35:51,516 YOU. >> LOVELY,. 530 00:35:51,582 --> 00:35:53,718 >> Stephen: THANKS FOR BEING HERE. 531 00:35:53,784 --> 00:35:57,088 >> THANKS FOR HAVING ME. "ELVIS" IS IN THEATER NEXT 532 00:35:57,154 --> 00:35:58,256 FRIDAY. TOM HANKS, EVERYBODY. 533 00:35:58,322 --> 00:36:01,959 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY REGINA SPEKTOR. 534 00:36:23,948 --> 00:36:26,951 HER ALBUM, "HOME, BEFORE AND AFTER," COMES OUT NEXT WEEK. 535 00:36:27,018 --> 00:36:35,092 PERFORMING "BECOMING ALL ALONE," REGINA SPEKTOR! 536 00:36:35,159 --> 00:36:38,663 I WENT WALKING HOME ALONE PAST ALL THE BARS 537 00:36:38,729 --> 00:36:49,173 AND CORNER DELIS WHEN I HEARD GOD 538 00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:53,144 CALL OUT MY NAME AND HE SAID "HEY 539 00:36:53,210 --> 00:37:01,152 LET'S GRAB A BEER IT'S AWFUL LATE 540 00:37:01,218 --> 00:37:07,658 WE BOTH RIGHT HERE" AND WE DIDN'T 541 00:37:07,725 --> 00:37:09,160 EVEN HAVE TO PAY 'CAUSE GOD IS GOD 542 00:37:09,226 --> 00:37:13,030 AND HE'S REVERED AND I SAID 543 00:37:13,097 --> 00:37:20,504 "WHY DOESN'T IT GET BETTER WITH TIME?" 544 00:37:20,571 --> 00:37:32,350 I'M BECOMING ALL ALONE AGAIN STAY, STAY, STAY 545 00:37:32,416 --> 00:37:37,154 LET THE ONES WHO WANT IT BAD GET ALL THE THINGS 546 00:37:37,221 --> 00:37:44,662 THAT MAKE THEM BETTER LET THE ONES WHO DON'T CARE FEEL 547 00:37:44,729 --> 00:37:53,170 A THRILL AND I JUST WANT TO RIDE 548 00:37:53,237 --> 00:38:01,145 BUT THIS WHOLE WORLD IT MAKES ME CARSICK 549 00:38:01,212 --> 00:38:05,149 STOP THE METER, SIR YOU HAVE A HEART 550 00:38:05,216 --> 00:38:09,153 WHY DON'T YOU USE IT? "WHY DOESN'T IT GET 551 00:38:09,220 --> 00:38:20,665 BETTER WITH TIME?" I'M BECOMING ALL ALONE AGAIN 552 00:38:20,731 --> 00:38:35,613 STAY, STAY, STAY 553 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:36,981 STAY, STAY, STAY 554 00:39:05,209 --> 00:39:09,146 I WENT WALKING HOME ALONE PAST ALL THE BARS 555 00:39:09,213 --> 00:39:14,685 AND CORNER DELIS WHEN I ASKED GOD 556 00:39:14,752 --> 00:39:24,261 "PLEASE CALL CALL MY NAME" 557 00:39:24,328 --> 00:39:29,166 AND I SAID "HEY LET'S GRAB A BEER 558 00:39:29,233 --> 00:39:33,170 IT'S AWFUL LATE I KNOW YOU'RE HERE 559 00:39:33,237 --> 00:39:37,174 AND WE WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO PAY 560 00:39:37,241 --> 00:39:43,414 'CAUSE YOU ARE GOD AND YOU'RE REVERED" 561 00:39:43,481 --> 00:39:50,688 "WHY DOESN'T IT GET BETTER WITH TIME?" 562 00:39:50,755 --> 00:39:59,663 I'M BECOMING ALL ALONE AGAIN STAY, STAY, STAY 563 00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:05,169 I'M BECOMING ALL ALONE AGAIN 564 00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:12,777 STAY, STAY, STAY STAY, STAY, STAY 565 00:40:12,843 --> 00:40:25,422 STAY, STAY, STAY STAY, STAY, STAY 566 00:40:25,489 --> 00:40:26,690 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) REGINA SPEKTOR, EVERYBODY! 567 00:40:26,757 --> 00:40:28,926 THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." GOOD NIGHT.