>> CONGRESSWOMAN LAUREN BOEBERT
IS FACING BACKLASH AFTER IMPLYING THAT JESUS COULD HAVE
DEFENDED HIMSELF FROM CRUCIFIXION IF HE HAD ASSAULT
RIFLES. >> THE LITTLE TWITTER TROLLS
LIKE TO SAY OH, JESS JESUS DIDN'T KNEE AN AR-15RBGS HOW
MANY DO YOU THINK JESUS WOULD HAVE HAD, WELL HE DIDN'T HAVE
ENOUGH TO KEEP HIS GOVERNMENT FROM KILLING HIM.
>> COMING SOON TO BROADWAY, LAUREN BOEBERT'S JESUS CHRIST
SUPERSTAR. >> JESUS JESUS YIES, PACKING
HEAT, HE'LL WASH
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!"
TONIGHT: TEN CENTS SENGS ABILITY, PLUS
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: TOM HANKS
AND MUSICAL GUEST, REGINA SPEKTOR
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN."
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
HEY, HOW ARE YOU. >> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY
MUCH. VOICE OF AN ANGEL, VOICE OF AN
ANGEL. HEY, EVERYBODY!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. >> STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCHS, FOLKS.
GOOD TO SEE YOU HERE. TAKE A SEAT, EVERYBODY, THANK
YOU SO MUCH. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME
ONE AND ALL TO THE LATE SHOW. I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
FOLKS, TODAY, CONGRESS DROPPED EPISODE THREE OF THE
JANUARY 6th COMMITTEE HEARINGS, IN PRIME TIME:
1:00 P.M. ON A THURSDAY. NOW, THERE WAS A BUNCH OF
VIDEO TESTIMONY, A LOT OF DOCUMENTS, A LOT OF QUESTIONS OF
THE TWO LIVE WITNESSES. AND THIS IS WHAT WE LEARNED:
ALL THE LAWYERS KNEW THAT OVERTURNING THE ELECTION WAS A
CRIME. THEY ALL TOLD EACH OTHER THAT
THEY KNEW IT WAS A CRIME. THEY ALL TOLD EVERYBODY IN THE
WHITE HOUSE IT WAS A CRIME, INCLUDING THE PRESIDENT.
THEY TOLD HIM, "SIR, IT'S A CRIME."
AND HE SAID, "THANK YOU FOR CLEARING THAT UP.
NOW, LET'S GO DO THAT CRIME." SOME OF THE CRIMES WERE
PROCEDURAL AND CONSTITUTIONAL. A LITTLE LIGHT SEDITION AMONG
FRIENDS. SOME OF THEM WERE MORE
STRAIGHTFORWARD, LIKE... WHAT'S THE WORD...
TRYING TO MURDER MIKE PENCE. THE FIRST PART OF TODAY'S
HEARING FOCUSED ON THE NOW-INFAMOUS PLAN TO HAVE PENCE
JUST REJECT BIDEN'S ELECTORS OUT OF HAND.
THAT WAS CONCOCTED BY DISGRACED LAWYER AND COTTON SWAB SEEING
WHERE YOU'RE ABOUT TO STICK HIM, JOHN EASTMAN.
ACCORDING TO THE COMMITTEE, EASTMAN KNEW HIS THEORY WAS
COMPLETE B.S. AND TO PROVE THAT, THEY CALLED
PENCE'S FORMER LAWYER AND MAN WHO HAS NO PROBLEM WITH THE
"HEARING" PART OF CONGRESSIONAL HEARINGS, GREG JACOB.
JACOB RECALLED WHAT HE SAID TO EASTMAN ABOUT A VICE PRESIDENT
BEING ABLE TO NAME WHO WON THE ELECTION.
>> "JOHN, BACK IN 2000, YOU WEREN'T JUMPING UP AND SAYING
AL GORE HAD THIS AUTHORITY TO DO THAT.
YOU WOULD NOT WANT KAMALA HARRIS TO BE ABLE TO EXERCISE THAT
KIND OF AUTHORITY IN 2024 WHEN, I HOPE, REPUBLICANS WILL WIN THE
ELECTION, AND I KNOW YOU HOPE THAT, TOO, JOHN."
AND HE SAID, "ABSOLUTELY. AL GORE DID NOT HAVE A BASIS TO
DO IT IN 2000. KAMALA HARRIS SHOULDN'T BE ABLE
TO DO IT IN 2024. BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD DO IT
TODAY." >> Stephen: IT'S JUST A
CLASSIC CASE OF "DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I COUP."
(APPLAUSE) REALLY?
OKAY.
THEN THEY PLAYED FOOTAGE OF JACOB EXPLAINING WHAT THE
PRESIDENT KNEW ABOUT THE CRIME, AND WHEN HE KNEW IT:
>> DID JOHN EASTMAN EVER ADMIT, AS FAR AS YOU KNOW, IN FRONT OF
THE PRESIDENT, THAT HIS PROPOSAL WOULD VIOLATE THE ELECTORAL
COUNT ACT? >> I BELIEVE HE DID ON THE 4th.
OKAY ITS FOURTHth. >> Stephen: OKAY, BUT THAT'S
TWO WHOLE DAYS BEFORE THE 6th. AND EVERYONE KNOWS THE
PRESIDENT'S GOT THE MEMORY OF A GOLDFISH WHO PLAYED IN THE
N.F.L. YOU CAN'T JUDGE HIM FOR THAT.
NOW I WILL SAY THIS ABOUT
JOHN EASTMAN-- HE WAS A CONSENSUS BUILDER.
>> DO YOU KNOW IF MR. CLARK OR MR. MORGAN-- IS IT MORGAN--
VIEWED ABOUT THAT, THOUGHT ABOUT THAT, MR. EASTMAN'S ADVICE?
>> YEAH, THEY THOUGHT HE WAS CRAZY.
I KNOW FOR A FACT THEY HEARD BOTH SAY THAT HIS THEORY WAS
CRAZY. >> I SAID, "YOU'RE COMPLETELY
CRAZY." THAT WAS CERTIFIABLY CRAZY.
>> Stephen: YES, JOHN EASTMAN GOT A RARE 100% ON CRAZY
TOMATOES. THAT'S HOW YOU CAN TELL IF
SOMEONE'S CRAZY. THEY DO THIS.
THE COMMITTEE ALSO HEARD FROM FORMER FEDERAL JUDGE AND
WILLIAM SHATNER MELTING ON A HOT SIDEWALK, J. MICHAEL LUTTIG.
LUTTIG IS ONE OF THE MOST WIDELY RESPECTED
CONSERVATIVE LEGAL SCHOLARS IN THE COUNTRY.
TODAY, HE LAID OUT THE STAKES OF THIS ATTEMPTED COUP:
>> THE FOUNDATIONAL TRUTH IS THE RULE OF LAW.
THAT FOUNDATIONAL TRUTH IS, FOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,
THE PROFOUND TRUTH. BUT IT'S NOT MERELY THE PROFOUND
TRUTH FOR THE UNITED STATES. IT'S ALSO THE SIMPLE TRUTH.
THE SIMPLE, FOUNDATIONAL TRUTH OF THE AMERICAN REPUBLIC.
(APPLAUSE) >> Stephen: AGH!
IS ANYONE IN JAIL YET? NO?
OKAY. JUDGE LUTTIG WAS UNEQUIVOCAL
ABOUT EASTMAN'S PLAN. >> I WOULD HAVE LAID MY BODY
ACROSS THE ROAD, BEFORE I WOULD HAVE LET THE VICE
PRESIDENT OVERTURN THE 2020 ELECTION, ON THE BASIS OF THAT
HISTORICAL PRECEDENT. >> Stephen: BRAVE WORDS.
BUT BASED ON HIS ENERGY LEVEL, I'M PRETTY SURE HE'D HAVE LAID
HIS BODY DOWN WAY BEFORE HE GOT TO THE ROAD.
FIRST PATCH OF GRASS HE SAW. THEN THE COMMITTEE MOVED ON TO
THE SECOND PART OF THEIR ARGUMENT, THAT, DESPITE PENCE'S
REFUSAL TO GO ALONG WITH THE PLOT, THE FORMER PRESIDENT KEPT
PUTTING PRESSURE ON HIM. PEOPLE IN THE OVAL OFFICE ON
JANUARY 6th RECALLED A TENSE PHONE CALL BETWEEN THE FORMER
PRESIDENT AND HIS VEEP. >> AT SOME POINT, IT STARTED
OFF AS A CALMER TONE AND BECAME HEATED.
>> THE CONVERSATION WAS PRETTY HEATED.
>> I REMEMBER HEARING THE WORD "WIMP."
EITHER HE CALLED HIM A WIMP-- I DON'T REMEMBER IF HE SAID
"YOU ARE A WIMP," "YOU'LL BE A WIMP."
"WIMP" IS THE WORD I REMEMBER. >> Stephen: I'VE BEEN TOLD "THE
LATE SHOW" AUDIO-VIDEO SQUAD HAS USED COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY TO
RECREATE THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN THE FORMER PRESIDENT AND
MIKE PENCE. >> HEFTY, HEFTY, HEFTY!
>> WIMPY, WIMPY, WIMPY! >> Stephen: AT ONE POINT,
IVANKA'S FORMER CHIEF OF STAFF DESCRIBED THE SALTY LANGUAGE THE
FORMER PRESIDENT USED. >> DID MS. TRUMP SHARE WITH YOU
ANY MORE DETAILS ABOUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED, OR DETAILS ABOUT WHAT
HAD HAPPENED IN THE OVAL OFFICE THAT MORNING?
>> THE WORD THAT SHE RELAYED TO YOU, THAT THE PRESIDENT CALLED
THE VICE PRESIDENT? >> I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING
IMPOLITE, BUT DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT SHE SAID HER FATHER CALLED
HIM? >> THE "P"-WORD.
>> Stephen: THE P WORD? >> Stephen: PLATYPUS?
PUMPERNICKEL? PAPRIKASH?
OH, THAT "P"-WORD! GOOD THING PENCE WASN'T IN
PERSON, OR THE PRESIDENT WOULD'VE TRIED TO GRAB HIM.
S' AN OLDIE, IT'S TRIP DOWN MIM REE LANE.
I KNOW IT SAN OLD ONE. TO UNDERLINE HOW MUCH DANGER
THE FORMER PRESIDENT PUT HIS VICE IN, THE COMMITTEE SHOWED
SOME DRAMATIC FOOTAGE OF THE CROWD ON JANUARY 6th.
>> WHERE IS PENCE? >> BRING HIM OUT!
BRING HIM OUT! BRING OUT PENCE!
>> Stephen: MIKE PENCE OBVIOUSLY
DIDN'T RESPOND TO THAT. HE'S STAUNCHLY AGAINST ANYONE
COMING OUT. EVEN THOUGH THE PRESIDENT KNEW
THE RIOTERS WERE IN THE BUILDING, HOWLING FOR PENCE'S
BLOOD, HE PUT OUT ANOTHER TWEET THAT FURTHER INFLAMED THE MOB,
WHO, SHORTLY THEREAFTER, GOT VERY CLOSE TO CATCHING THE
VICE PRESIDENT. >> VICE PRESIDENT PENCE AND
HIS TEAM ULTIMATELY WERE LED TO A SECURE LOCATION, WHERE THEY
STAYED FOR THE NEXT 4.5 HOURS, BARELY MISSING RIOTERS A FEW
FEET AWAY. APPROXIMATELY 40 FEET.
THAT'S ALL THERE WAS-- 40 FEET BETWEEN THE VICE PRESIDENT AND
THE MOB. >> Stephen: 40 FEET!
I WANT TO POINT OUT, THAT THAT IS CLOSER THAN FROM WHERE
I'M STANDING, TO WHERE MY EXECUTIVE PRODUCER TOM PURCELL
IS STANDING. RIGHT NOW.
WHAT WAS THAT? (LAUGHTER)
TODAY, WE LEARNED THAT, WHEN THE DUST SETTLED, EASTMAN KNEW JUST
HOW SCREWED HE WAS. >> IN FACT, JUST A FEW DAYS
LATER, DR. EASTMAN EMAILED RUDY GIULIANI AND REQUESTED
HE BE INCLUDED ON A LIST OF POTENTIAL RECIPIENTS OF A
PRESIDENTIAL PARDON. DR. EASTMAN'S EMAIL STATED,
"I'VE DECIDED THAT I SHOULD BE ON THE PARDON LIST, IF THAT IS
STILL IN THE WORKS." >> Stephen: "HEY, Y'ALL, IT'S
JOHN EASTMAN. WHAT UP, LISTEN,
NO BIGGIE, BUT REMEMBER THAT PARDON LIST YOU WERE TALKING
ABOUT? I THINK IT MIGHT BE FUN TO PUT
MY NAME ON THERE. BECAUSE I'VE BEEN POKING AROUND
IN SOME LEGAL BOOKS, AND IT TURNS OUT, BREAKING THE LAW
IS AGAINST THE LAW, AND WE DID TRY TO BRING DOWNDEMOCRACY,
AND MEOW MEOW MEOW. ANYWAY, IF IT'S A NO, I
TOTALLY GET IT, BUT MAYBE WE COULD BE CELLMATES?
LOL, T.T.F.N.!" BUT EASTMAN DIDN'T GET A PARDON.
SO, HE'S NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES. TO EVERY QUESTION ASKED BY THE
COMMITTEE, HE GAVE THE SAME ANSWER:
>> I ASSERT MY FIFTH AMENDMENT RIGHT AGAINST BEING COMPELLED TO
BE A WITNESS AGAINST MYSELF. FIFTH.
FIFTH.
>> Stephen: GOT IT. QUICK FOLLOW-UP, ON A SCALE OF
ONE TO FIVE, FIFTH BEING THE ABSOLUTE WORST, WHERE WOULD YOU
FALL? >> FIFTH.
>> Stephen: GOT IT. ONE MORE, IF YOU DON'T MINDK
COUPLE MOVE FOLLOWUP QUESTION, WHAT'S THE BEST "FAST AND
FURIOUS" MOVIE? >> FIFTH.
>> Stephen: "FAST FIVE," A CLASSIC.
FINALLY, SIR, WHAT SIZE BOTTLE OF BOURBON DO YOU DRINK AT NIGHT
TO FORGET YOUR CENTRAL ROLE IN THE DARKEST DAY IN OUR CAPITOL'S
HISTORY? >> FIFTH.
>> Stephen: CHEERS. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT. MY GUEST IS TOM HANKS.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I CALL A FAMILY MEETING WITH AMERICA.
GET DOWN HERE, YOUNG MAN.
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK. GIVE IT UP FOR STAY HUMAN,
EVERYBODY. THANKS, EVERYBODY.
LOUIS, YOU KNOW I'M GRATEFUL TO EVERYBODY WHO COMES ON THIS SHOW
AND WE HAVE SOME AMAZING GUEST, WHO WOODWARD AND BERNSTEIN, EMMA
THOMPSON THIS WEEK, BRYAN CRANSTON, BUT TONIGHT THERE IS
NOTHING THE HOST OF ONE OF THESE SHOWS WANTS TO SEE MORE ON THE
BOARD OTHER THAN TOM HANKS. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> THOMAS HANKS IS HERE TONIGHT. SO THAT IS GOING TO BE FUN, DO
STICK AROUND FOR THAT. NOW FOLKS,
NOW, I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE CONSIDER ME TO BE A
SOMETHING OF A FATHER FIGURE. IN FACT, FOR SOME REASON, A LOT
OF PEOPLE ON TWITTER LIKE TO CALL ME "DADDY."
EVEN MORE CONFUSING? SOME OF THEM ACTUALLY WANT A
SPANKING. NOW, I LOVE BEING A TV DAD, AND
I DON'T TAKE THE TITLE LIGHTLY. AND RIGHT NOW, THINGS FEEL
UNSETTLED IN AMERICA. I THINK WE COULD ALL USE A
LITTLE REASSURANCE. SO, FOLKS, DAD IS CALLING A
FAMILY MEETING! >> Stephen: HEY, KIDDO.
TAKE A SEAT. COP A SQUAT, BUDDY, OKAY,
WE NEED TO TALK. NOW I KNOW YOU'RE MAD AT ME
BECAUSE I WOULDN'T LEND YOU THE CAR, BUT WITH GAS PRICES THE WAY
THEY ARE, IT'S CHEAPER FOR YOU TO FLY TO YOUR FRIENDS HOUSE.
AND I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT ANOTHER LECTURE FROM YOUR
OL' TV DAD, HERE... WHICH IS WHY I'VE ALSO INVITED
YOUR MOVIE DAD TO JOIN US. TOM, COME ON IN.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
HEY, BLUEDEE, BUDDY. >> LISTEN, YOU GOT TO LISTEN.
IT IS GREAT TO SEE YOU BUT PLEASE PUT THOSE MUSCLES AWAY.
YOU'VE BEEN WORKING OUT. >> BUDDY, YOUR DAD AND I HAVE
NOTICED YOU'VE BEEN FEELING PRETTY ANXIOUS LATELY.
>> WE KNOW THERE IS ALOT TO THINK ABOUT
THINK ABOUT-- ALL THE CHANGES GOING ON IN THIS COUNTRY, ALL
THE CHANGES GOING ON IN YOUR SWIMSUIT AREA, PEOPLE TALKING
ABOUT YOUR SWIMSUIT AREA-- IT'S ALL PRETTY UPSETTING.
>> Stephen: AND YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST.
IT FEELS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY YOU WERE CRAWLING AROUND ON THE
FLOOR IN NOTHING BUT YOUR UNDERWEAR, EATING SPAGHETTI
STRAIGHT OUT OF THE BOWL WITH YOUR HANDS...
>> BUT WE WERE ALL DOING THAT BACK IN 2020.
IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON. SON.
>> Stephen: BUT SADLY WE CAN'T BECAUSE CORONAVIRUS IS
STICKING AROUND MUCH LONGER THAN WE ALL THOUGHT.
>> YEAH, COVID IS KIND OF LIKE WHEN YOUR UNCLE BILL STAYS
WITH US. HE SAYS HE'S GOING TO BE HERE
FOR TWO WEEKS, BUT YOU KNOW HE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL JANICE
FORGIVES HIM FOR THE WHOLE "BUYING A HOUSEBOAT WITHOUT
ASKING HER" THING. >> Stephen: BY THE WAY, YOUR
UNCLE BILL HAS COVID. >> AND ALSO SCURVY.
BUT HERE'S THE THING, CHAMP. I KNOW HOW TOUGH THIS CAN BE.
IN FACT, NOT TO BRAG, BUT I WAS ONE OF THE FIRST TO GET COVID.
BACK BEFORE IT WAS COOL-- WHICH IT NEVER WAS!
>> Stephen: AND WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT PEER PRESSURE.
I KNOW, A LOT OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE TELLING YOU TO TAKE DRUGS.
>> SO, LISTEN UP, BECAUSE WE'RE ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE:
>> TAKE THE DRUGS. >> Stephen: THOSE VACCINES AND
BOOSTERS REALLY WORK. >> AND, KIDDO, WE KNOW WHAT IT'S
LIKE TO BE YOUR AGE. >> Stephen: THE WORLD CAN BE SO
CONFUSING. SOMETIMES YOU WISH YOU WERE ALL
GROWN UP ALREADY. >> EXACTLY.
SO, YOU VISIT A MAGIC FORTUNE-TELLING MACHINE, WAKE UP
AS AN ADULT, MOVE TO THE BIG CITY,
GET A JOB AT A TOY COMPANY, START A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH
AN ACTUAL ADULT WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON-- WHICH IS
REALLY FUNNY BUT IN RETROSPECT IS PRETTY DISTURBING--
WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE! >> Stephen: AND WE KNOW THE
FUTURE CAN SEEM SCARY, TOO. IT'S A TOUGH JOB MARKET OUT
THERE. >> BUT IF YOU PUT YOUR MIND
TO IT, YOU CAN STILL BE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE.
>> Stephen: JUST NOT A COMEDIAN. >> OR AN ACTOR.
>> Stephen: YEAH, THOSE ARE OUR JOBS.
AND WE CANNOT LOSE THEM. THE MARKET IS KILLING ME RIGHT
NOW. >> REALLY?
I PUT ALL MY MONEY INTO OLD TYPEWRITERS.
BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT TO UNPLUG FROM THE INTERNET EVERY
ONCE IN A WHILE. >> Stephen: SPEAKING OF WHICH,
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA USAGE.
>> SPECIFICALLY, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ACCEPT MY FACEBOOK
REQUEST? >> Stephen: WHAT'RE YOU, TOO
BUSY USING THE TIKTOK? DO WE NEED TO DO ONE OF YOUR
VIRAL DANCES JUST TO GET YOUR ATTENTION?
FINE! (LIZZO DANCE)
♪ >> AWAY-HEY-HEY-HEY!
LOOK AT YOUR DADS WHILE WE'RE TIKTOK-ING TO YOU!
>> Stephen: AND BUDDY, BEFORE I FORGET: HERE'S YOUR ALLOWANCE.
I'D TELL YOU TO SAVE IT. BUT WITH INFLATION, YOU BETTER
BLOW THAT FAST! >> AND, KIDDO?
REMEMBER: IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING, WE'LL BE RIGHT HERE.
>> Stephen: DOING THIS. (TIK TOK DANCE)
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH TOM HANKS!
HEY, EVERYBODY. WELCOME BACK.
LEAD LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'M HAPPY TO SAY
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN OSCAR-WINNING GREAT BIG MOVIE
STAR. PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE
LATE SHOW," TOM HANKS!
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU. THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. OH MAN.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WHAT A PLEASURE IT IS TO BE IN
THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER HERE BECAUSE LOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF
YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS, STEPHEN. >> Stephen: GO ON.
>> I'M IN A MOVIE CALLED ELVIS-- ELVIS, ABOUT ELVIS, THE
PRESSLEY ONE, AND THIS ACTUAL PLACE PLAYED VERY LARGE IN OUR
TOWN BECAUSE I PLAY CORONEL TOM PARKER, I DON'T NEED TO
IMMEDIATELY START HOCKING MY PRODUCT BUT I WAS OUT EARLIER.
>> Stephen: GETS TO THE HEAT OF THE MEAT.
>> SHOW THE CLIP AND I'M GOING HOME, THANKS EVERYBODY.
>> Stephen: PUT SOME ASS IN THE SEAT.
>> BUT THE NIGHT AFTER ELVIS PERFORMED ON THE ED SULLIVAN
SHOW, 60 MILLION AMERICANS WATCHED HIM ON-- I THINK THERE
WERE ONLY 60 MILLION AND TWO TV SETS IN AMERICA.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU NOT JOKING, IT WAS AN EXTRAORDINARY
NUMBER. >> IT WAS HUGE.
AND THE VERY NEXT DAY COLONEL TOM PARKER REALIZED THAT
EVERYBODY IN AMERICA IS TALKING ABOUT ELVIS PRESSLEY SO HE IS NO
LONGER GOING TO APPEAR FOR FREE ON TV.
AFTER THAT MOMENTS YOU HAD TO EITHER BUY A RECORD OR A TICKET
TO HIS SHOW OR A TICKET TO ONE OF HIS MOVIES OR LISTEN TO HIM
ON THE RADIO FOR WHICH COLONEL TOM PARKER GOT A FEW CENTS EVERY
TIME IT PLAYED. >> Stephen: ELVIS GOT
SOMETHING, IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, HE GOT $50,000 TO APPEAR THREE
TIMES ON THE SULLIVAN SHOW WHICH WAS CRAZY AMOUNT OF MONEY BACK
THEN. >> BECAUSE ED WOULD GO OFF, HE
UNDERSTOOD IT WAS WORTH PAYING MONEY AND AFTER THAT, AS COLONEL
TOM PARKER HIMSELF SAID WELL, I WILL BE HAPPY TO PUT MY BOY ON
TELEVISION PROVIDED THEY PAY THE PRICE AND THAT PRICE IS $50,000.
AND NOBODY WANTED TO PAY THAT. THERE IT IS.
>> Stephen: THERE IS ELVIS PERFORMING ON THE ED SULLIVAN
SHOW OCTOBER 28th, 19 A 6. >> IT WAS SOMEWHERE, RIGHT
AROUND THERE, IS WHERE. >> AND YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST LIKE
A SOFT LIGHT SHINING DOWN ON THAT LITTLE SPACE.
>> Stephen: NOT ONLY THAT BUT THERE IS KIND OF INTERESTING AM
BACK THEN THE BIG VACCINE PEOPLE WORRIED ABOUT WAS POLIO VACCINE,
THAT EVERYBODY SHOULD HAVE BUT PEOPLE WERE NERVOUS ABOUT IT.
BACKSTAGE ON THAT NIGHT, FOR THE PUBLIC GOOD, HE GOT VACCINATED
AT THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW. >> FOR THE COMMON GOOD.
>> Stephen: OKAY. I LOVE THE NEW MOVIE ELVIS, YOU
PLAY COLONEL TOM PARKER AS YOU WERE SAYING BEFORE.
I ALWAYS KNEW THE COLONEL WAS THERE.
>> YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE.
>> Stephen: I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE, WHAT HE SOUNDED
LIKE, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE DID. WHO WAS THIS.
>> COLONEL TOM PARKER WAS NOT A COLONEL AND HIS NAME WASN'T TOM
AND HE WASN'T EVEN A PARKER. HIS REAL NAME WAS ANDREAS VAN
KISS, HE JUMPED SHIP FROM HOLLAND, HAD NO AMERICAN PASS
PORT, JUST WANTED TO GET INTO THE CIRCUS BUSINESS, WHICH HE
WAS. AND HE REPRESENTED A FEW, HE
REPRESENTED EDDIE ARNOLD PROMOTING HIS CAREER THEN ONE
DAY HE HEARD ABOUT THIS YOUNG GUY WHO WAS RIPPING UP THE
RECORD THAT EVERYBODY WAS LISTENING TO.
HE THOUGHT HE WAS BLACK. TURNED OUT HE WAS WHITE.
AND THEN HE HAPPENED TO SEE HIM PERFORM ONE DAY ON, IN LOUISIANA
AT THE LOUISIANA HAYRIDE AND PAID NO ATTENTION TO WHAT, MY
BOY, HE PAID NO ATTENTION TO WHAT THE BOY WAS SINGING.
HE LOOKED AT WHAT THE EFFECT WAS ON THE AUDIENCE.
AND IT IS ONE THING TO SEE YOUNG GIRLS TO BE EXCITED BY THE LIKES
OF ELVIS PRESSLEY BUT WHEN THEIR 40 YEAR OLD MOMS ALSO ARE
LITERALLY HAVING FEELINGS THAT MAYBE THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE IN
PUBLIC, HE SAID HMMMM, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO MAKE SOME MONEY AT
THIS. CUZ MA'AM, WHAT WAS IT THAT WAS
SO-- OH HONEY, IS HE JUST A BIG HUNK OF FORBIDDEN FRUIT,
FORBIDDEN FRUIT IS SOLD AT A PREMIUM IN MOST SUPERMARKETS IN
ERCK MA. HE WAS A DIABOLICAL GENIUS IN
EVERY WAY, INCREDIBLY PRESH ENT, KIND OF LIKE INVENTED MODERN
SHOW BUSINESS AND MODERN RECORDING BUSINESS AND NO SMALL
PART OF MAKING SURE THAT HIS BOY REMAINED EXCLUSIVE, YOU KNOW.
YOU HAD TO DECIDE TO PAY TO SEE OR HEAR ELVIS PRESSLEY.
IT WAS A GREAT, THERE WAS A GREAT, SOME GUY IS ASKING HIM DO
YOU THINK, MR. PARKER, DO YOU THINK THAT ELVIS' POPULARITY IS
BASED ON HIS SO CALLED SEX APPEAL, HIS SHAKING AND
WIGGLING, WELL, LET ME TELL YOU THAT I HAVE A VIVID IMAGINATION
MYSELF AND I HAVE LISTENED TO MR. PRESSLEY'S RECORDS AND TO
THE BEST OF MY ABILITY, I AM NOT ABLE TO SEE HIM WILLING.
SO I ACTUALLY HAVE A FEELING IT MIGHT BE A DIFFERENT TYPE OF
ARTIST THAT WE ARE SPEAKING ABOUT AND HE WAS ABSOLUTELY DEAD
SOLID. >> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP
HERE, IF YOU AS COLONEL PARKER AND AUSTIN BUTLER AS ELVIS, WHAT
IS HAPPENING. >> THIS SAY PRESSURED MOMENT,
THIS IS THE MOMENT WHERE THE CULTURAL ZEITGEIST OF WESTERN
SOCIETY CHANGED FOREVER. I WASN'T FOOLING WHEN I TOLD
THEM I WOULD BUY THEM A CADILLAC ONE DAY.
>> MY BOY, WITH ME YOU WILL BUY THEM TWO CADILLACS.
>> AN AIRPLANE. >> A ROCKET SHIP.
>> MY MAMA IS GOING LIKELY TO FLY.
WHAT BUT, MR. PRESSLEY. ARE YOU READY?
TO FLY? >> YES, SIR.
>> ALL RIGHT. >> READY TO FLY.
AUSTIN BUTLER, I CAN'T SAY ENOUGH.
>> EXTRAORDINARY. >>
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK, RIGHT
BACK WITH MORE MR. TOM HANKS, STICK AROUND.
>> Stephen: HEY EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO THE PRASM
ALREADY IN PROGRESS, RIGHT THERE, YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS,
THAT IS MR. TOM HANKS. >> AS SOON AS THE MOVIE WAS
OVER, I SAW IT WITH MY SON, HE SAID WHAT DO YOU THINK, I SAID
IT'S GREAT T IS A GREAT MOVIE AND PART OF IT WAS THE-- BAZ
LETTERMAN OF IT, BECAUSE IF YOU LOVE BAZ LETTERMAN, THIS IS THE
MOST BAZ LETTER MININ IN MY OPINION THAT HE HAS EVER LETTER
MONNED AND ONE OF THE REASONS WHY, THERE IS A LOT OF GLITZ AND
SHINE AND ALMOST LIKE JEWEL AND GEM QUALITY TO HIS FILM AND I
CAN'T THINK OF A SUBJECT THAT COULD RECEIVE IT BETTER THAN
ELVIS PRESSLEY. NOW WHAT I THOUGHT, THIS COULD
HAVE USED A LITTLE MORE BAZ LETTERMAN BECAUSE HE IS SUCH A
HUGE FIGURE AND COULD RECEIVE THE GRANDEUR THAT HE PUTS INTO A
FILM. >> THIS MIGHT BE THE FIRST BAZ
LETTERMAN WHICH ACTUALLY REQUIRED ALL THE BEDAZZLING THAT
WENT INTO IT. >> Stephen: HONEST TO GOD.
>> ALL THE JUMPSUIT, A LOT OF CONFETTI.
EVERY WEEK WE WOULD TAKE AN OLD ELVIS MOVIE POSTER AND MAKE IT
BAZ SENT RICK, YOU KNOW, LIKE IT HAPPENED AT THE WORLD FAIR, IT
HAPPENED AT BAZFAIR, GIRL, GIRLS GIRLS BECAME BAZ BAZ BAZ, VIVA
LAS VEGAS BECAME VIVA BAZ VEGAS. >> Stephen: DID YOU BATCH
THOSE FILMED. >> I WATCHED EVERY ONE I COULD
GET MY HANDS ON. >> Stephen: FOLLOW THAT DREAM.
>> OKAY, AND MY, MY FORMER MAKEUP MAN DANNY STREPECK WHO I
DID PROBABLY 14 FILMS WITH. HE DID ELVIS' TAN FOR FOUR
MOVIES. >> HIS TAN.
>> WELL, VIVA LAS VEGAS, WHAT YOU REMEMBER ABOUT T HE DIDN'T
DO HIS SCARS, HIS BLACK EYES, ELVIS WAS A GOOD LOOKING DUDE,
BUT HE DID HAREM SCAREEM WHICH WAS NOT ONE OF THE BETTER, SHOT
IN LIKE 22 DAYS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
BUT HE ALSO DO THE ONE YOU JUST MENTIONED.
>> Stephen: FOLLOW THAT DREAM. >> DOWN TO MIAMI.
>> FOLLOW THAT DREAM. >> I WILL TELL YOU THE STORY
THAT DANNY TOLD ME. ON THAT, I DON'T WANT TO
SAY-- ON A MOVIE THAT DANNY DID, OKAY.
THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL WHO WAS PLAYING SOMEBODY IN THE THING.
>> Stephen: YES. >> AND SHE WAS VERY ATTRACTIVE
AS AND SHE WAS VERY THRILLED TO BE IN A MOVIE WITH ELVIS.
AND SHE WENT THROUGH THE MOVIE AND IT WAS ALL FINE.
AND ON HER LAST DAY OF FILM SHE CAME INTO THE HAIR AND MAKEUP
TRAILER AND HE WAS JUST DES POND ENT.
WHAT IS IT, HONEY-- SHE WA, AND THEY WERE TRYING TO PUT HER HAIR
ON, TRYING TO DO HER MAKEUP, HER MASCARA AND SHE KEPT CRYING AND
CRYING AND CRYING AND CRYING. AND WHAT, WHAT IS IT, HONEY, WE
HAVE TO GET YOU READY. >> WHAT IS IT, YOU HAVE TO, WE
HAVE TO GET YOU READY. >> I'M TRYING TO THINK ABOUT THE
EUPHEMISM PARTICULAR WORD, LET ME JUST SAY SAY THIS-- I JUST
WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM. IS THAT SO BAD?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM!
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK, WE'LL BE
RIGHT BACK WITH MORE MR. TOM HANKS, EVERYBODY.
>> Stephen: HEY, WE'RE BACK WITH TOM HANKS, EVERYBODY.
>> MR. TOM HANKS, ONE OF THE THINGS, ONE OF THE THINGS THAT
HIT ME, AND THIS NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT AUSTIN BUTT LETTER, THIS
PERFORMANCE. >> EXTRAORDINARY.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN'T SAY ENOUGH.
>> CAN'T SAY ENOUGH. >> Stephen: NOT ONLY DOES HE
CAPTURE THE VOICE, THE SPEAKING VOICE, THE SINGING VOICE FOR
MUCH OF THE MOVIE AS WELL, THE MANNERISMS, THE DANCING, DEEPLY
FELT, DEEPLY EXPRESSED, EMOTIONAL SCENES BUT THE
MAGNETISM OF THE MAN AND HIS CONNECTION WITH AN AUDIENCE.
AND ONE OF THE REASONS WHY IF IS AN ABSOLUTELY GREAT MOVIE IS I
KIND OF FELT LIKE I GOT AN INTIMATE LOOK AT THE REAL ELVIS
IN THE TWO AND A HALF HOURS. AND IT REMINDED ME, THE
PERFORMANCE WAS SO GOOD THAT IT REMINDED ME THAT I HAVE
FORGOTTEN THAT I HAVE A LITTLE CANDLE LIT IN MY HEART FOR ELVIS
PRESSLEY AND THERE A REASON WHY THERE IS ALL THIS KITCH T BUT IT
IS NOT THAT, ST ABSOLUTELY MAGNETIC, BEAUTIFUL, GIFTED ONCE
IN A LIFETIME PERFORMER. >> I AM SLIGHTLY OLDER THAN YOU,
BUT I DID NOT SEE THE 1968 SPECIAL WHICH BECAME KNOWN AS
THE COMEBACK SPECIAL. >> Stephen: I DIDN'T EITHER
BUT I DID ASK MY MOM IF I COULD STAY UP LATE IN FEBRUARY OF 1974
AND DRAG MY BED INTO MY BROTHER PETER'S ROOM AND PUT THEIR BLACK
AND WHITE TV ON BOXES TO WATCH THE ALOHA CONCERT, WHICH WAS 1.5
BILLION PEOPLE, WATCHED THAT. >> BY THE WAY DREAMED UP BY
COLONEL TOM PARKER. WHY WOULD YOU GO TRAVEL AND THE
WORLD WHEN THE WORLD WILL TUNE IN TO SEE YOU, YOU DON'T HAVE TO
DO THAT. >> Stephen: BUT THE BACK STORY
WAS HE COULDN'T TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD BECAUSE.
>> BECAUSE HE HAD NO PASSPORT POTTER.
HE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ALLOWED INTO THE COUNTRY.
SHHH. SPOILER ALERT, THANK, GUYS NOW
WHO IS GOING TO SEE THE MOVIE NOW.
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. YOU CANNOT.
>> Stephen: I'M SO SORRY. >> CAN YOU NOT DO THAT.
>> Stephen: SOR SORRY, WE CAN'T DO THAT.
>> BECAUSE OF AUSTIN'S POWER AND THE FROM THE 68Y COMEBACK
SPECIAL, YOU GET A REAL DIFFERENT SORT OF VISION OF WHAT
ELVIS MEANT TO THE ZEITGEIST BECAUSE HE TURNED LAS VEGAS INTO
A PLACE WORTHY OF SUPERSTARS TO GO AND IN IS PLENTY OF GOOD
ENTERTAINMENT BUT ELVIS BEING THERE, I USED TO WORK FOR THE
HILTON HOTEL'S CORPORATION AS A BELMAN AND IF YOU CALL ME A BELL
BOY I'M GOING TO CRACK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR SMART MOUTH.
>> Stephen: HOW OLD WERE YOU AS A BELL PERSON.
>> I WAS 19, I WASN'T A BELL BOY AT ALL, I WAS A BELMAN AND FOR
THE OAKLAND HILTON HOTEL, NATURALLY OAKLAND HILTON MOTOR
LODGE I THINK IT WAS CALLED, BUT WE HAD A THING OF WHO WAS
PLAYING AT THE VEGAS INTERNATIONAL AND WHEN ELVIS WAS
UP THERE, EVERYBODY SAYS OH WOW, ELVIS IS IN LAS VEGAS WE WERE
TOLD, THAT'S RIGHT, SIR, HELP MAKING RESERVATIONS, YOU CAN
CERTAINLY TALK TO SO AND SO AT THE FRONT DESK SO I WOULD LIKE
TO THINK I HAD A LITTLE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE
PROMOTION OF ELVIS'-- ALWAYS THINKING.
DIABOLICAL GENIUS. >> Stephen: WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW
WAS THAT THE REASON WHY THERE WAS A COMEBACK IS THAT THE
ORIGINAL SORT OF WHAT WE THINK OF AS CLASSIC ELVIS ONLY LASTED
A FEW YEARS. >> IT ONLY LASTED FROM 56 TO 58,
THEN WHEN HE CAME BACK HE WAS MAKING MOVIE Z.
>> Stephen: WENT INTO THE ARMY.
>> YEAH, WENT INTO THE RECALL'S FOR WELL OVER TWO YEARS, CAME
BACK HAD A FABULOUS SPECIAL HOSTED BY FRANK SINATRA,
WELCOMING ELVIS BACK FROM-- ELVIS IS BACK FROM THE
ARMY SHOW AND THAT WAS A BIG THING.
THAT WAS THE LAST TIME HE PERFORMED IN FRONT OF A LIVE
TELEVISION AUDIENCE, HE DIDN'T DO IT AGAIN UNTIL 1968 AND
ELEVATOR VISES WAS PETRIFIED OF THE IDEA OF PERFORMING AGAIN IN
FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE. SRS AND ALL THOSE MOVIES.
>> HE MADE THOSE MOVIES, LOOK, I ACTUALLY THINK IF WE CAN GET
SERIOUS ABOUT THE MOVIE BUSINESS, THE FIRST MOVIE CAME
BACK TO WAS CALLED GI BLUE. JULY YET PROWS, HE SANG TO A
WOODEN PUPPET, I DON'T HAVE A WOODERN HEAD IT WAS A HUGE
POPULAR HIT BECAUSE ELVIS WAS ELVIS.
HE SANG, HE WAS IN A UNIFORM. AND IT WAS MASSIVELY HUGE, THEN
ELVIS MADE THREE VERY, VERY GOOD DRAMATIC ROLES FOR 20th
CENTURY FOX, FLAMING STAR, WILD IN THE COUNTRY, AND SOME OTHER,
I CAN'T REMEMBER. AND ALAS THEY DIDN'T DO WELL.
AND THAT BROKE SORT OF LIKE A MAGIC M O.J. O BECAUSE THE
FOREIGN MOVIES HE MADE BEFORE HE WENT INTO THE ARMY WERE GREAT
MOVIE, KING CREOLE, JAIL HOUSE ROCK, THEY LIVED UP TO THE
PROMISE OF WHAT HE WAS GOING TO DO.
BUT THOSE THREE DRAMATIC ROLES WHERE HE DIDN'T SING, WHERE HE
WASN'T KIND OF LIKE A HAPPY-GO-LUCKY THING, THAT MADE
THE AUDIENCE AND THE MOVIE BUSINESS GO LIKE, I THINK ELVIS
NEEDS TO SING IN ALL OF THESE. AND LOOK, I LOVE VIVA LAS VEGAS
AS MUCH AS NIBBLES AND GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS BUT THREE MOVIES A
YEAR HE MADE FOR FIVE YEARS, THAT IS A BACK BREAKING.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THE MOST YOU EVER MADE.
>> I MADE SIX MOVIES IN A YEAR, NO, HAVE I NO IDEA. PLEASE, NO.
>> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: HANK SAYS, I BEAT
ELVIS. >> BUT THAT WAS AT A TIME WHERE
I WAS TRYING TO GET INTO EVERY OTHER OCTOPLEX SCREEN IN THE
COUNTRY. >> Stephen: TOM, LOVELY TO SEE
YOU. >> LOVELY,.
>> Stephen: THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME. "ELVIS" IS IN THEATER NEXT
FRIDAY. TOM HANKS, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY REGINA SPEKTOR.
HER ALBUM, "HOME, BEFORE AND AFTER," COMES OUT NEXT WEEK.
PERFORMING "BECOMING ALL ALONE," REGINA SPEKTOR!
I WENT WALKING HOME ALONE PAST ALL THE BARS
AND CORNER DELIS WHEN I HEARD GOD
CALL OUT MY NAME AND HE SAID "HEY
LET'S GRAB A BEER IT'S AWFUL LATE
WE BOTH RIGHT HERE" AND WE DIDN'T
EVEN HAVE TO PAY 'CAUSE GOD IS GOD
AND HE'S REVERED AND I SAID
"WHY DOESN'T IT GET BETTER WITH TIME?"
I'M BECOMING ALL ALONE AGAIN STAY, STAY, STAY
LET THE ONES WHO WANT IT BAD GET ALL THE THINGS
THAT MAKE THEM BETTER LET THE ONES WHO DON'T CARE FEEL
A THRILL AND I JUST WANT TO RIDE
BUT THIS WHOLE WORLD IT MAKES ME CARSICK
STOP THE METER, SIR YOU HAVE A HEART
WHY DON'T YOU USE IT? "WHY DOESN'T IT GET
BETTER WITH TIME?" I'M BECOMING ALL ALONE AGAIN
STAY, STAY, STAY
I WENT WALKING HOME ALONE PAST ALL THE BARS
AND CORNER DELIS WHEN I ASKED GOD
"PLEASE CALL CALL MY NAME"
AND I SAID "HEY LET'S GRAB A BEER
IT'S AWFUL LATE I KNOW YOU'RE HERE
AND WE WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO PAY
'CAUSE YOU ARE GOD AND YOU'RE REVERED"
"WHY DOESN'T IT GET BETTER WITH TIME?"
I'M BECOMING ALL ALONE AGAIN STAY, STAY, STAY
I'M BECOMING ALL ALONE AGAIN
STAY, STAY, STAY STAY, STAY, STAY
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) REGINA SPEKTOR, EVERYBODY!
THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." GOOD NIGHT.