1 00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:04,037 THE WHITE HOUSE THIS MORNING AFTER A FOUR DAY TRIP TO THE 2 00:00:04,104 --> 00:00:06,072 MIDDLE EAST WITH SOME CONTROVERSY, HERE'S THE SHOT 3 00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:09,275 THAT MADE HEADLINES, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES 4 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:13,713 FIST BUMPING SAUDI CROWN PRINCE. 5 00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:16,850 >> HE WAS CRITICIZED FOR THAT FIST BUMP WHEN HE GREETED THE 6 00:00:16,916 --> 00:00:19,419 CROWN PRIRCHTION ACCUSED OF BEING BEHIND THE MURDER OF 7 00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:24,124 JOURNALIST JAMAL KHASHOGGI. >> BUT THAT WASN'T THE FIRST 8 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:25,992 OVERLY FAMILIAR HANDSHAKE BETWEEN AN AMERICAN PRESIDENT 9 00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:29,796 AND AN INTERNATIONAL PARIAH. >> GREETINGS FROM THE CONFERENCE 10 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,866 WHERE THE BIG THREE ARE DECIDING THE FATE OF POST WAR GERMANY, 11 00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:38,238 HERE WE HAVE SOVIET PREMIER JOSEPH STALIN MEETING AMERICAN 12 00:00:38,304 --> 00:00:40,840 PRESIDENT FDR FOR THE FIRST TIME. 13 00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:44,444 LET'S WATCH THEIR HISTORIC HANDSHAKE. 14 00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:49,682 THERE IS A SHAKE. OH, AND THERE IS A BIRD, SHOOT 15 00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:53,853 THE BIRD. GRILL THE BIRD, CUTTING THE 16 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,556 PICKLE. MAKE A SANDWICH, THE NEIGHBORS 17 00:00:56,623 --> 00:01:01,461 DOG IS EATING THE SANDWICH, OH, YOUR DOG IS COMING TO PROTECT 18 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,363 YOU. THEN THEY END UP MAKING OUT. 19 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:08,101 TUNE IN NEXT NEWS REAL WHEN J O.J. O LOOKS UNDER THE CHURCH 20 00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:13,173 AND STEEPLE AND FINDS ALL THE PEOPLE. 21 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:14,007 >> >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE 22 00:01:14,073 --> 00:01:21,080 SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!" TONIGHT: 23 00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:24,584 TONIGHT, STEPHEN WELCOMES BILLY CRYSTAL. 24 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:30,957 AND PAUL HOLLYWOOD FEATURING JON BATISTE AND 25 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:37,230 "STAY HUMAN." AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE 26 00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:41,801 ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 27 00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:49,843 (/ BAND PLAYING/ ) >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, OH 28 00:01:49,909 --> 00:02:02,956 MAN, HEY, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. 29 00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:10,029 HELLO, GOOD TO SEE YOU. HELLO, HELLO, HELLO. 30 00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:16,035 HELLO, MY FRIENDS. HEY, PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, 31 00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:21,140 EVERYBODY. LOVELY TO BE HERE. 32 00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:23,543 WELCOMEK DOWN THERE, UP HERE, EVERYBODY WATCHING AROUND THE 33 00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:24,878 WORLD. WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW, I'M 34 00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:31,985 YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. AND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAKE 35 00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:34,921 NO MISS FAKE, AND WE ARE BACK, FRIENDS! 36 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:39,292 WE WERE ON BREAK FOR TWO WEEKS. THANK YOU FOR NOTICING MY TAN. 37 00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:42,996 THIS IS AS TAN AS I GET. I WENT FROM "PORCELAIN" TO 38 00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:49,202 "POACHED CHICKEN BREAST." BUT NOT EVERYONE'S HAVING FUN IN 39 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:50,937 THE SUN. BECAUSE A SWELTERING HEAT WAVE 40 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:54,941 IS SWEEPING ACROSS EUROPE. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE FOR 41 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:59,479 EUROPEANS. THEY DON'T HAVE A LOT OF AIR 42 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:02,749 CONDITIONING IN THEIR HOMES OVER THERE AND HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY 43 00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:04,083 COOL OFF? THOSE SWIMSUITS CAN'T GET ANY 44 00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:09,589 SMALLER! ACROSS THE CONTINENT, EUROPEAN 45 00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:10,957 COUNTRIES ARE FACING WEATHER THEY'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE. 46 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:16,029 IN FRANCE, TEMPERATURES ARE EXPECTED TO TOP 104 DEGREES, 47 00:03:16,095 --> 00:03:20,700 AND AUTHORITIES ARE WARNING OF A "HEAT APOCALYPSE." 48 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:24,404 IN RESPONSE, THE FRENCH GOVERNMENT IS REMINDING ALL 49 00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:37,684 MIMES TO CRACK A WINDOW IN THEIR INVISIBLE BOXES. 50 00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:40,019 IT'S NOT JUST FRANCE. BRITAIN IS ON COURSE FOR ITS 51 00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:44,724 HOTTEST DAY ON RECORD. TO STAY COOL, THE GUARDS AT 52 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:50,697 BUCKINGHAM PALACE WAXED THEIR HATS. 53 00:03:50,763 --> 00:03:53,800 VERY PAINFUL, THAT'S VERY PAINFUL. 54 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:56,803 THE HEAT IS SO INTENSE THAT AT FARMS ACROSS EUROPE, IN ORDER TO 55 00:03:56,869 --> 00:04:01,174 STAY HYDRATED, CHICKENS ARE ON SPORTS DRINK. 56 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,010 LEADING GATORADE TO UPDATE THEIR SLOGAN FROM "IS IT IN YOU?" 57 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:13,353 TO "BAWK BAWK BAWK." YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS FEELING THE 58 00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:22,929 HEAT LATELY? FORMER PRESIDENT JABBA THE PUTZ. 59 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:28,034 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) WHILE WE WERE GONE, THE 60 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,837 JANUARY 6th COMMITTEE HELD ANOTHER HEARING, AND THE 61 00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:34,007 BIGGEST BOMBSHELL CAME FROM REPRESENTATIVE LIZ CHENEY. 62 00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:38,945 >> AFTER OUR LAST HEARING, PRESIDENT TRUMP TRIED TO CALL A 63 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:42,982 WITNESS IN OUR INVESTIGATION. A WITNESS YOU HAVE NOT YET SEEN 64 00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:46,953 IN THESE HEARINGS. THAT PERSON DECLINED TO ANSWER 65 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:53,526 OR RESPOND TO PRESIDENT TRUMP'S CALL AND INSTEAD ALERTED THEIR 66 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:56,763 LAWYER TO THE CALL. >> Stephen: HE'S TRYING TO 67 00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:59,165 COMMIT WITNESS TAMPERING, USING HIS OWN PHONE. 68 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:04,971 YOU CAN SEE THE WHOLE STORY IN THE NEW MOB FILM: 69 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:18,051 "NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS, FELLAS." WE'LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT ALL OF 70 00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:21,554 THIS SOON, BECAUSE THE COMMITTEE'S NEXT HEARING IS THIS 71 00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:26,526 THURSDAY, IN PRIME TIME. THAT'S GOING TO DRIVE TUNE-IN, 72 00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:28,961 AND, TO GET EVEN MORE PEOPLE TO WATCH, THEY'RE HOLDING IT ON 73 00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:40,606 F-BOY ISLAND. IN THIS CASE, THE "F" IS FOR 74 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,041 THE HEARING WILL BE LED IN PART BY COMMITTEE MEMBER 75 00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:44,477 ADAM KINZINGER, WHO SAYS THAT IT WILL "OPEN PEOPLE'S EYES IN A 76 00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:48,081 BIG WAY." AND FROM THE LOOKS OF IT, IT'S 77 00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:52,085 ALREADY WORKING. SHOULD BE A BIG NIGHT. 78 00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:54,053 WHICH IS WHY, ON THURSDAY, "THE LATE SHOW" WILL BE LIVE 79 00:05:54,120 --> 00:06:00,727 AND SLEEP DEPRIVED! CHECK IT ALL Y'ALL. 80 00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:04,831 WHO IS OUR GUEST WE DON'T KNOW WHO THE GUEST IS. 81 00:06:04,897 --> 00:06:06,065 NOW THEY MAY BE TALKING ABOUT 82 00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:08,968 THIS OTHER THING THAT SOUNDS KIND OF SUSPICIOUS: THE 83 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,972 COMMITTEE LEARNED LAST WEEK THAT THE SECRET SERVICE ERASED TEXT 84 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:18,044 MESSAGES FROM JANUARY 5 AND 6, AFTER OVERSIGHT OFFICIALS ASKED 85 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:22,949 FOR THEM. THE AGENCY SAYS THERE'S NOTHING 86 00:06:23,015 --> 00:06:24,984 SINISTER GOING ON HERE, BUT THEIR STORY ABOUT THIS DELETION 87 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:30,056 HAS SHIFTED SEVERAL TIMES, FIRST BLAMING IT ON THEIR "DEVICE 88 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,992 REPLACEMENT PROGRAM," THEN ON A PRE-PLANNED "SYSTEM MIGRATION." 89 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:36,996 THEN THEY SAID, "THE DOG ATE OUR PHONES," "OUR PHONES ARE GOING 90 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:51,077 THROUGH A TUNNEL," AND FINALLY, "NEW PHONE, WHO DIS?" 91 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:54,046 NOW, NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IS IN THE TEXTS. 92 00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:56,983 THEY COULD CORROBORATE CASSIDY HUTCHINSON'S STORY THAT ON 93 00:06:57,049 --> 00:06:59,085 JANUARY 6th, THE FORMER PRESIDENT TRIED TO CHOKE AN 94 00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:02,722 AGENT AFTER THE AGENT REFUSED TO DRIVE HIM TO THE CAPITOL. 95 00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:05,291 BUT WE SHOULD FIND OUT SOON, BECAUSE THE COMMITTEE HAS 96 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:08,961 SUBPOENAED THE TEXTS, WHICH ARE BEING RECONSTRUCTED, AND THE 97 00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:12,064 COMMITTEE MEMBERS EXPECT TO RECEIVE THE MISSING SECRET 98 00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:16,969 SERVICE TEXTS BY TOMORROW. WITH ANY LUCK, ONE OF THE AGENTS 99 00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:29,115 TEXTED A SELFIE. (LAUGHTER) 100 00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:32,985 OLD JOKE, THAT SAN OLD ONE. SWITCHING OVER TO THE GUY WHO 101 00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:34,654 WON THE ELECTION: PRESIDENT BIDEN WAS ON A TRIP TO 102 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,422 THE MIDDLE EAST LAST WEEK, WHERE HE HAD A CONTROVERSIAL MEETING 103 00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:40,993 WITH CROWN PRINCE OF SAUDI ARABIA, MOHAMMAD BIN SALMAN, 104 00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:49,969 SEEN HERE SAYING, "NO, YOU DRINK YOUR TEA FIRST." 105 00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,972 THIS WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE A TOUCHY TRIP, BECAUSE THE 106 00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:56,976 CROWN PRINCE IS INFAMOUSLY-- AND I'M PUTTING IT DELICATELY 107 00:07:57,043 --> 00:08:00,079 HERE-- A MURDERER. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, GAS IS 108 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:04,984 FIVE BUCKS A GALLON, SO... SO IT WAS IMPORTANT THAT BIDEN 109 00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:08,321 PUT A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO HOW HE WOULD GREET M.B.S. 110 00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:12,058 THIS WAS THE DECISION. OKAY, HE GETS OUT OF THE CAR... 111 00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:18,865 APPROACHES MR. BONE SAW... AND, BOOM GO THE ETHICS! 112 00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:21,267 CAN WE SEE THAT FROM ANOTHER ANGLE, JIM. 113 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:30,643 BANG THERE IT IS. MAYBE THAT IS NOT A FIST BUMP, 114 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,111 MAYBE, AT 79, THAT'S AS HARD AS JOE CAN PUNCH. 115 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:36,048 "THROW THEM DUKES UP, MOHAMMAD BIN JACK-BIN. 116 00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:38,517 HERE COMES SCRANTON! HERE WE ARE GO, WATCH THIS ONE, 117 00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:41,420 HERE IT COMES WHERE IS IT COMING IN. 118 00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:42,255 AND ARGH, YOU BLOCKED ME. 119 00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:45,892 THIS GUY'S FAST. I HOPE THEY HAVE AIR 120 00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:49,829 CONDITIONING OVER THERE, BECAUSE HIS BONES ARE MADE OF PEANUT 121 00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:51,163 BRITTLE. OKAY, I KNOW, HAVE I MADE A LOT 122 00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:59,105 OF JOKES ABOUT JOE BEING OLD BUT HERE'S THE THING. 123 00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:00,806 SINCE I'VE MADE THOSE JOKES, HE'S GOTTEN OLDER. 124 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:04,510 THAT'S NOT MY FAULT. THAT'S ON HIM. 125 00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:06,746 THERE IS SOMETHING OLDER THAN JOE BIDEN: 126 00:09:06,812 --> 00:09:13,686 THE UNIVERSE. THANK YOU. 127 00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:17,356 THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 128 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:18,758 WE HAVE BEEN GETTING THE FIRST IMAGES FROM NASA'S 129 00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:21,694 GROUND-BREAKING JAMES WEBB TELESCOPE, AND THEY ARE 130 00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:24,764 BREATHTAKING. HERE'S THE WEBB TELESCOPE'S 131 00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:28,734 IMAGE OF THE CARINA NEBULA, ALSO KNOWN AS GOD'S SCREENSAVER. 132 00:09:28,801 --> 00:09:31,203 WE'VE NEVER SEEN SPACE IN THIS MUCH DETAIL. 133 00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:35,207 JUST LOOK AT IT NEXT TO THE SAME IMAGE TAKEN BY THE HUBBLE 134 00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:36,542 TELESCOPE. THAT'S HUBBLE ABOVE, WEBB BELOW. 135 00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:40,546 WHAT A GLOW-UP. IT'S AMAZING WHAT TECHNOLOGY 136 00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:43,883 CAN DO. FOR COMPARISON, HERE'S A REGULAR 137 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:50,690 PICTURE OF ME, AND HERE'S ONE OF ME TAKEN BY THE WEBB TELESCOPE. 138 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:55,227 THAT'S WHAT I LOOK LIKE IN REAL LIFE! 139 00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:58,164 THE TV CAMERAS JUST DON'T HAVE THE RESOLUTION TO CAPTURE IT. 140 00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:00,566 BUT THESE AREN'T JUST PRETTY PICTURES. 141 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:03,002 THEY REVEAL PREVIOUSLY UNKNOWN THINGS ABOUT THE UNIVERSE. 142 00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:06,072 FOR INSTANCE, EVERYTHING THAT'S NOT SPARKLING IN THIS PICTURE IS 143 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:11,610 AN ENTIRE GALAXY. AND WE'RE JUST ON ONE PLANET, IN 144 00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:18,884 ONE SOLAR SYSTEM, IN ONE GALAXY. MAKES YOU FEEL PRETTY SMALL AND 145 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,553 INSIGNIFICANT. MY ADVICE? 146 00:10:20,619 --> 00:10:35,501 BUY A BOAT. THEN GO FISHING BY YOURSELF. 147 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:40,539 BUY A BOAT. THEN GO FISHING BY YOURSELF. 148 00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:43,843 (APPLAUSE) OF COURSE, I'VE SAVED THE 149 00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:46,245 BIGGEST NEWS FOR LAST. JENNIFER LOPEZ AND BEN AFFLECK 150 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:51,517 GOT MARRIED! YES! 151 00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:53,619 OH HELL YES! LOVE IS REAL! 152 00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:56,522 IF THEY CAN MAKE IT WORK, THERE'S HOPE FOR EVERY 153 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:59,625 ATTRACTIVE MILLIONAIRE CELEBRITY COUPLE WITH A SKINCARE LINE! 154 00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:03,629 AS I'M SURE YOU KNOW, THE TWO WERE ENGAGED YEARS AGO, BUT NOW 155 00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:08,534 THEY'VE MADE IT OFFICIAL. IT'S BENNIFER AGAIN-I-FER! 156 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:17,543 OR, AS I PREFER, "BENNIFER 2: JEN-FLECKTRIC BOOGAFFLECK." 157 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:20,446 AND THEY DIDN'T NEED SOME BIG SPLASHY WEDDING. 158 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,516 THEY DID IT THEIR WAY, BY MARRYING QUIETLY IN LAS VEGAS. 159 00:11:23,582 --> 00:11:24,550 IT WAS VERY INTIMATE. IN FACT, BEN DID ALL THE 160 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:29,622 CATERING. JEN EXPLAINED JUST HOW NORMAL 161 00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:32,558 THEIR VEGAS WEDDING WAS, SAYING, "WE STOOD IN LINE FOR A LICENSE 162 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,961 WITH FOUR OTHER COUPLES." CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING ONE OF 163 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:39,498 THOSE OTHER COUPLES? "THE CHAPEL WAS NICE, BUT THEIR 164 00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:44,570 ELVIS IMPERSONATOR LOOKED LIKE BEN AFFLECK." 165 00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:47,206 BEN'S GOOD BUDDY MATT DAMON WASN'T AT THE CEREMONY, BUT HE 166 00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:52,545 DID SEND AN INSPIRATIONAL WEDDING TOAST ON VIDEO. 167 00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:56,549 >> FORTUNE FAVORS YOUR MARRIAGE. >> Stephen: WE'VE GOT A GREAT 168 00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:59,652 SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT! MY GUEST IS BILLY CRYSTAL, 169 00:11:59,718 --> 00:12:02,288 AND I'LL BE BAKING WITH PAUL HOLLYWOOD. 170 00:12:02,354 --> 00:12:04,557 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, ARE WE ABOUT TO GO TO WAR WITH 171 00:12:04,623 --> 00:12:10,429 CANADA, OVER ME? STICK AROUND TO FIND OOT. 172 00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:29,448 ♪ 173 00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:55,741 SAY HELLO, LOUIS AND EVERYBODY, RIGHT OVER THERE. 174 00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:57,843 HELLO, LOUIS, HOW ARE YOU, WELCOME BACK. 175 00:12:57,910 --> 00:12:59,812 >> HOW WAS YOUR BREAK. >> IT WAS WONDERFUL. 176 00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:03,549 >> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU DO? >> I SLEPTS FOR TWO DAYS AND I 177 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,652 RECORDED AN ALBUM. >> Stephen: WOW, WOW. 178 00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:07,953 >> YEAH. >> Stephen: WOW. 179 00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:11,023 >> IN THAT ORDER. >> Stephen: FOLKS WE TRY TO 180 00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:14,059 BRING YOU THE TRUTH ON THE SHOW NIGHT AFTER NIGHT AND THE 181 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:20,099 MAINSTREAM MEDIA IS REFUSING TO COVER ONE MAJOR STORY. 182 00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:26,972 AN INTERNATIONAL CRISIS BREWING BETWEEN THE UNITED STATES AND 183 00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:29,008 CANADA WE JUST GOT BACK FROM A TWO-WEEK 184 00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:30,976 BREAK, DURING WHICH MY CANADIAN WRITER/PRODUCER BARRY JULIEN WAS 185 00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:34,980 UP THERE FOR A VISIT, AND HE TEXTED ME THIS PICTURE OF A 186 00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:38,217 BEN & JERRY'S ICE CREAM FLAVOR CALLED "OH, CONE-ADA." 187 00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:44,089 THAT'S KIND OF CUTE! KIND OF A CUTE NAME, 188 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,959 I BET YOU'RE ASKING, "WHAT'S IN IT-- MAPLE SYRUP, POUTINE CURDS, 189 00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:54,900 AND BEAVER TEETH?" THAT WAS MY GUESS TOO, BUT NOPE. 190 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:58,003 APPARENTLY, "OH, CONE-ADA" IS MADE OF "VANILLA ICE CREAM WITH 191 00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:05,277 FUDGE-COVERED WAFFLE CONE PIECES AND CARAMEL SWIRLS!" 192 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,979 SOUND FAMILIAR? THAT'S BECAUSE THOSE ARE 193 00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:11,016 THE EXACT INGREDIENTS IN MY ICE CREAM: STEPHEN COLBERT'S 194 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:22,661 AMERI-CONE DREAM! WHAT THE CANUCK! 195 00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:24,964 IS GHS ON. THOSE SOCIALIST ICE HOLES 196 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:30,769 NATIONALIZED MY FLAVOR! THIS IS AN OOT-RAGE! 197 00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:33,005 I'M NOT GOING TO SIT STILL FOR THIS. 198 00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:34,573 I AM GOING TO SUE EVERY MAN, WOMAN, AND FRENCHIE IN THAT 199 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:35,808 GOD-FORSAKEN TUNDRA UNTIL THEY HAVE NOTHING LEFT BUT UNIVERSAL 200 00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:38,978 HEALTH CARE AND A RELIABLE SOCIAL SAFETY NET! 201 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:47,686 AND YOU'RE NOT OFF THE HOOK HERE, BEN AND JERRY! 202 00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:53,525 NO, YOU'RE NOT. I'M ANGRY! 203 00:14:53,592 --> 00:14:54,960 15 YEARS WE'RE TOGETHER, AND HERE I FIND OUT YOU'RE SNEAKING 204 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:58,964 AROUND WITH A FLAVOR EXACTLY LIKE MINE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY 205 00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:02,101 UNDER A DIFFERENT NAME? I'M SORRY-- I CAN'T HEAR YOU 206 00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:16,015 OVER THE SPOON IN MY BACK! BY ITS WAY AN I WILL JUST PAUSE 207 00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:19,918 HERE, HAVE I FOUND OUT THIS FLAVOR HAS BEEN AROUND FOR 12 208 00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,687 YEARS, AND I'M JUST FINDING OUT NOW, 209 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:28,594 AM I THAT REPLACEABLE?! AND WITH A COW? 210 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:33,732 DOES IT HAVE THE NUMBER-ONE LATE NIGHT SHOW IN CANADA? 211 00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:38,137 I HEAR HER SEGMENT "MOO-NWHILE" IS VERY POPULAR. 212 00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:42,241 AND I WILL ALSO POINT OUT, ALL FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS THAT ALL 213 00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:43,142 OF MY PROCEEDS ARE DONATED TO CHARITY. 214 00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:54,987 SO FAR, OVER $4 MILLION. YEAH. 215 00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:58,791 (APPLAUSE) SO, WHAT'S JUSTIN TRUDEAU DOING 216 00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:02,127 WITH ALL THAT ICE CREAM CASH? HE SURE AS HELL AIN'T SPENDING 217 00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:04,930 IT ON HAIRCUTS. AND I HEAR YOU ASKING, "STEVE, 218 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:10,769 DOES THIS GET ANY WORSE?" WELL, HOLD ON TO YOUR TIMBITS, 219 00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:12,137 BECAUSE LOOK WHAT MY STOLEN AND RENAMED ICE CREAM FLAVOR 220 00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:22,348 APPEARS RIGHT NEXT TO IN CANADIAN FREEZERS! 221 00:16:22,414 --> 00:16:26,985 "THE TONIGHT-DOUGH AVEC JEEMEE FALL-OHN!" 222 00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:31,423 QUEBECWHAAAAA? THEY JUST FRENCHIFY HIS FLAVOR 223 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:34,893 WITH THE "AVEC" AND KEEP HIM ON IT, BUT I GET BUMPED FOR A 224 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,296 FARM ANIMAL? COME ON! 225 00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:38,964 THERE ARE PLENTY OF CANADIAN CELEBRITIES TO USE FOR PUN 226 00:16:39,031 --> 00:16:43,102 ICE CREAM NAMES! RYAN GOS-LICK! 227 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:49,575 GORDON LIGHTFUDGE! JONI MINT-CHILL! 228 00:16:49,641 --> 00:16:50,976 WE CANNOT LET THIS STAND, PEOPLE. 229 00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:54,980 IT IS TIME TO ACT. IT IS ICE CREAM SEASON IN 230 00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:58,984 AMERICA, AND MY BODY MAY BE FINE WITH LACTOSE, BUT IT IS 231 00:16:59,051 --> 00:17:02,388 INJUSTICE-INTOLERANT. SO, I WANT EVERY PERSON IN THE 232 00:17:02,454 --> 00:17:09,561 UNITED STATES TO GO OUT AND BUY AS MUCH AMERICONE DREAM AS YOU 233 00:17:09,628 --> 00:17:20,139 CAN FIND, I WANT YOU TO FIND IT, BUY IT. 234 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:26,145 (APPLAUSE) , I WANT YOU TO THEN EAT IT, 235 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:28,847 OBVIOUSLY TAKE A NAP. THEN MAIL YOUR EMPTY AMERICONE 236 00:17:28,914 --> 00:17:36,288 DREAM CONTAINER TO SOMEONE IN CANADA. 237 00:17:36,355 --> 00:17:38,957 THIS'S ADDRESS, SOMEONE, CANADA. I EXPECT EVERY CANADIAN OF 238 00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:44,129 CONSCIENCE TO SCOOP MY ICE CREAM OUT OF THAT SHAM PACKAGING AND 239 00:17:44,196 --> 00:17:48,434 REPATRIATE IT TO ITS RIGHTFUL PINT. 240 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,135 BECAUSE NONE OF THIS IS THE ICE CREAM'S FAULT. 241 00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:55,107 IT'S JUST AN INNOCENT PAWN IN A GEOPOLITICAL FIRESTORM. 242 00:17:55,174 --> 00:18:02,981 AN ICE COLD FIRESTORM. YOU BRING MY ICE CREAM HOME! 243 00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:06,051 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH BILLY CRYSTAL. 244 00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:30,108 WELCOME BACK. MY FIRST GUEST IS A COMEDY 245 00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:33,979 LEGEND YOU KNOW FROM "WHEN HARRY MET SALLY," "700 SUNDAYS," 246 00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:38,083 AND AS THE NINE-TIME HOST OF THE ACADEMY AWARDS. 247 00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:40,152 HE NOW STARS ON BROADWAY IN "MR. SATURDAY NIGHT." 248 00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:55,100 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," BILLY CRYSTAL! 249 00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:58,504 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," BILLY CRYSTAL! 250 00:19:03,008 --> 00:19:13,385 >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU. IS THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 251 00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:15,521 FANTASTIC. PEOPLE ARE VERY EXCITED. 252 00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:16,588 >> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 253 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,924 >> GREAT TO SEE YOU. >> Stephen: NOW 254 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,760 CONGRATULATIONS ON MR. SATURDAY NIGHT. 255 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:25,931 I MEAN FIVE TONY NOMINATIONS INCLUDING BEST MUSICAL. 256 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:29,034 HOW DOES IT FEEL, HOW DID IT FEEL AFTER COVID TO BE BACK ON 257 00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,436 STAGE LIVE IN FRONTS OF THE PEOPLE THAT YOU LOVE. 258 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:34,940 >> WELL, IT WAS CRAZY BECAUSE LIKE YOU HAD, MASKS ON 259 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,609 EVERYBODY, IT LOOKED LIKE A HOWARD THE DUCK CONVENTION IN 260 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,778 THE BEGINNING. EVERYONE WITH A WHITE MASK BUT 261 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,948 IT IS WHAT IT IS. WE GOT THROUGH IT, IT WAS GREAT. 262 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:46,952 >> Stephen: I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO T WE STILL HAVE MASKS 263 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,688 HERE. WITH THE BA.5 SO WE ARE BEING 264 00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:52,324 CAUTIOUS HERE, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THEIR FACES AGAIN BECAUSE 265 00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,993 THERE IS NO GREATER AUDIENCE IN THE WORLD THAN THE AUDIENCE OF 266 00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:58,931 THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER. >> NO, IT'S TRUE. 267 00:19:58,997 --> 00:20:00,999 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). >> Stephen: AND THAT IS ONLY A 268 00:20:01,066 --> 00:20:06,104 SEGUE. I'M ONLY PANDERING. 269 00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:09,675 YOU'VE DONE YOUR JOB, YOU'VE DONE YOUR JOB, I'M ONLY 270 00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:12,110 PANDERING THAT HARD AS A SEGUE BECAUSE AS WE TALKED BEFORE YOU 271 00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:17,349 MADE YOUR NETWORK DEBUT ON THIS STAGE FOR THE HO HOWARDS COULDEL 272 00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:21,253 SHOW SHOT AT THIS THEATER. >> HOWARDS COULDEL HAD, IT WAS 273 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:26,925 CALLED SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE WITH HOWARD COSESELL. 274 00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:30,929 ALL REMEMBER HIM, HE WAS A BOMBASTIC SPORTS ANNOUNCER AND 275 00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:34,933 HE WAS AN OUTSPOKEN GUY WHO I THINK HIS VOICE WE MISS. 276 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,804 >> Stephen: IN THE MUSICAL, IN THE SATURDAY NIGHT, AS BUDDY 277 00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:42,908 YOUNG YOU ALSO DO IMPRESSIONS, BY IS AN INTERESTING 278 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:45,711 DOUBLE-- FOR TO YOU DO BUT DO YOU STILL DOS COULDEL? 279 00:20:45,777 --> 00:20:50,482 >> WELL, IF I DID HOWARD THERE WERE GREAT VOICES, WHEN I 280 00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:54,920 STARTED AS A COMEDIAN, THERE WAS-- I DID HOWARD COSELL AND MO 281 00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:58,190 HAM I HAD ALI AND WHEN I STARTED TO DO ALI, I DIDN'T REALLY START 282 00:20:58,256 --> 00:21:04,363 TO DO ALI. I STARTED TO DO BRANDO AS VITO 283 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:08,133 CORELEONE AND I HIT A ROAD BLOCK AND WENT TO THE RIGHT, IT WAS 284 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:12,104 LIKE MARCO, I NEVER WANTED YOU, I WANT TO BE CYNICAL, THE 285 00:21:12,170 --> 00:21:16,508 GREATEST FEETER OF ALL TIME. AND THEN I HEARD ALI, AND IT WAS 286 00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:22,881 JUST THIS THING. >> BUT HOWARD WAS, YOU KNOW, I 287 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:30,088 COULD GET INTO HIM AND GET INTO THAT KIND OF RHYTHM THAT HE HAD. 288 00:21:30,155 --> 00:21:33,525 AND I THOUGHT IF HE WAS WORKING TODAY, HE WOULD BE COVERING THE 289 00:21:33,592 --> 00:21:37,162 JANUARY 6th COMMITTEE HEARINGS. 290 00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:39,631 WE JUST HEARD FROM CASSIDY HUTCHINSON, RIGHT THERE, THIS 291 00:21:39,698 --> 00:21:43,001 MAY BE THE FIRST TIME THE SECRET SERVICE WRESTLED THE PRESIDENT 292 00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:50,942 TO THE GROUND TO KEEP US SAFE FROM HIM. 293 00:21:51,009 --> 00:21:56,982 (APPLAUSE) GREAT VOICE FRTS 70S WHAT OTHER 294 00:21:57,049 --> 00:22:00,786 GREAT VOICE FRTS 70S. >> THIS WAS ANOTHER GREAT VOICE, 295 00:22:00,852 --> 00:22:05,624 THIS IS I USED TO DO BUT NOW YOU CAN REPLUG THEM IN AND SUDDENLY 296 00:22:05,691 --> 00:22:08,460 THEY ARE A APROPOS. >> THE MUELLER REPORT, WHEN YOU 297 00:22:08,527 --> 00:22:11,196 SAW MUELLER BEFORE THE REPORT WITH THAT JAW THAT HE HAD, THAT 298 00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:14,633 LOOK THAT HE HAD. HE WAS LIKE OUT OF A 40SEE MOVIE 299 00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:17,903 WHERE HE WOULD BE THE WARDEN IN THE PRISON, FRY HIM, WE'RE GOING 300 00:22:17,969 --> 00:22:24,109 TO FRY HIM, INSTEAD, IT WAS BAD T WAS BORING. 301 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:28,714 PETER FAULK AS COLOMBO WOULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT INTERVIEWER OF 302 00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:32,551 ALL OF THOSE DOPES THAT WE WERE INTERVIEWING, YOU KNOW. 303 00:22:32,617 --> 00:22:36,955 >> MR. MADAME BOARD, I DON'T, I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, 304 00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:40,692 MR. MADAME BOARD, YOU KNOW, YOU ARE FOOLING AROUND WITH ALL OF 305 00:22:40,759 --> 00:22:46,264 THESE OLIGARCHS, THESE OLIGARCHS, I JUST DON'T-- AND 306 00:22:46,331 --> 00:22:47,799 MR. KUSHNER, WHY ARE YOU SO PALE. 307 00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:51,036 ARE YOU JUST VERY PALE. I JUST DON'T GET, SO YOU FOOL 308 00:22:51,103 --> 00:22:57,609 AROUND WITH THESE KIND OF, YOU GLETS NO. 309 00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:02,247 >> Stephen: ONE THING I MISSED FROM ITS 70S, I WISH THERE WERE 310 00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:04,716 CONSEQUENCES FOR THINGS, WE HAD WOODWARD AND BERNSTEIN ON THE 311 00:23:04,783 --> 00:23:09,354 OTHER NIGHT, THAT IS WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT, THERE WERE 312 00:23:09,421 --> 00:23:11,690 CONSEQUENCES BACK IN THE '70S. >> I WATCHED THAT SHOARKS I 313 00:23:11,757 --> 00:23:14,226 THOUGHT IT WAS A BRILLIANT SHOW, I AM A HUGE FAN OF BOTH OF THEM 314 00:23:14,292 --> 00:23:18,230 AND NOW YOU, NOW I'M PANDERING. AND I HAD A MEETING WITH BOB 315 00:23:18,296 --> 00:23:22,901 WOODWARD ABOUT FOUR YEARS AGO AT A RETREAT, JEFF BEZOS DID A 316 00:23:22,968 --> 00:23:26,838 RETREAT AND I HAD LIKE A 40 MINUTE MEETING WITH HIM, 317 00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:31,476 BREAKFAST AND IT WAS AMAZING. THEN WATCHING HIM ON THE SHOW. 318 00:23:31,543 --> 00:23:35,914 LIKE ALI BECAME YOU KNOW CAME FROM VITO CORLEE OWN. 319 00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:41,286 THIS GUY COMES FROM CAROLL CHANNING THERE IS A-- BOB 320 00:23:41,353 --> 00:23:43,922 WOODWARD COMES FROM CAROL CHANNING. 321 00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:49,861 >> YEAH, BECAUSE WHEN YOU-- YOU TRY TO DO BOB WOODWARD, YOU HEAR 322 00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:56,802 T AND IT, IT IS VERY LOW, AND, AND HE'S GOT THIS RATHER LARGE 323 00:23:56,868 --> 00:24:01,239 MOUTH. AND WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT, NIXON 324 00:24:01,306 --> 00:24:06,678 AND TRUMP, IT'S VERY INTERESTING, TO SEE THE 325 00:24:06,745 --> 00:24:14,219 DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM, NIXON, RICHARD NIXON WAS 326 00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:22,694 CRAZY. DONALD TRUMP IS REALLY CRAZY. 327 00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:25,931 STZ WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, WHEN WE ARE COME BACK I 328 00:24:25,997 --> 00:24:28,266 WILL ASK BILLY HOW HE FELL IN LOVE WITH COMEDY. 329 00:24:28,333 --> 00:24:31,336 STICK AROUND. 330 00:24:36,741 --> 00:24:41,580 HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK HERE WITH AMERICA'S SWEETHEART. 331 00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:45,317 BILLY CRYSTAL. (APPLAUSE) 332 00:24:45,383 --> 00:24:47,586 I LOVE BUDDY YOUNG. I MEAN HAVE I BEEN A BIG FAN, 333 00:24:47,652 --> 00:24:50,422 FOR THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T PERSONALLY KNOW, IS THAT 334 00:24:50,488 --> 00:24:59,731 MR. SATURDAY NIGHT IS ACTUALLY A MUSICAL ADAPTATION OF YOUR 1992 335 00:24:59,798 --> 00:25:02,734 MOVIE THE SAME NAME WITH DAVID-- WHO ALSO PLAYS YOUR 336 00:25:02,801 --> 00:25:04,569 BROTHER, I LOVE SEEING HIM ON STAGE. 337 00:25:04,636 --> 00:25:07,672 >> WE ARE OLD SHOES TOGETHER. >> Stephen: TELL THE PEOPLE 338 00:25:07,739 --> 00:25:12,444 WHO BUDDY YOUNG, JR. IS, HE WAS PART OF YOUR ACT, BEFORE HE 339 00:25:12,510 --> 00:25:16,481 ACTUALLY HAD HIS OWN NARRATIVE, HE WAS A CHARACTER YOU PLAYED. 340 00:25:16,548 --> 00:25:18,917 >> HE WAS A CHARACTER. HE WAS SORT OF AN INSULT COMIC, 341 00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:24,522 WHO WAS THE STAR IN THE '50S AND GETS A CHANCE OF REDEMPTION FOR 342 00:25:24,589 --> 00:25:28,093 HIS CAREER WHICH HE WAS A TERRORIST OF HIS OWN DOING. 343 00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:30,328 HE IS ONE OF THOSE GUYS WHO COULD BLOW UP A BRIDGE WHILE HE 344 00:25:30,395 --> 00:25:34,699 IS STANDING ON T YOU KNOW, ALWAYS GOT IN HIS OWN WAY. 345 00:25:34,766 --> 00:25:36,601 BUT HE WAS VERY FUNNY AND HAD THIS MACHINE LIKE THING ABOUT 346 00:25:36,668 --> 00:25:42,340 HIM AND I LOVED HIM, HE WAS SORT OF LIKE WILLY LOWMAN, HE WAS A 347 00:25:42,407 --> 00:25:45,510 LOWLY KIND OF GUY, I LOVED GUYS WHO ARE FLAWED. 348 00:25:45,577 --> 00:25:49,681 AND THAT IS WHY I WANTED TO PLAY HIM, WHEN WE DID THE MOVIE, 31 349 00:25:49,748 --> 00:25:54,586 YEARS AGO, I WAS 43. AND WHEN NEEDED FIVE OR SIX 350 00:25:54,653 --> 00:25:57,622 HOURS OF MAKEUP SO I COULD PLAY HIM AT THE RIGHT AGE. 351 00:25:57,689 --> 00:26:04,496 NOW I JUST SHOW UP AND SO, YOU KNOW, HE IS JUST SO FASCINATING 352 00:26:04,562 --> 00:26:10,702 AND JUST SO FUNNY. >> Stephen: DID YOU HAVE AN 353 00:26:10,769 --> 00:26:14,139 EXPOSURE TO BORS-- COME ED YANS WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER. 354 00:26:14,205 --> 00:26:17,809 >> I DIDN'T KNOW THEM UNTIL LATER BUT I WOULD WATCH THEM 355 00:26:17,876 --> 00:26:20,545 FROM THE ERRED SULLIVAN SHOW FROM THIS STAGE AND IT WAS ALLEN 356 00:26:20,612 --> 00:26:25,684 KING AND BUDDY HACKETTES AND ALL OF THESE AMAZINGLY FUNNY GUYS. 357 00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:28,486 THEIR TIMING IS INCREDIBLE. WE SORT OF PAY TRIBUTE TO THAT 358 00:26:28,553 --> 00:26:31,523 IN THE SHOW AS WELL. >> Stephen: DID YOU GET TO 359 00:26:31,589 --> 00:26:35,627 HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE LIKE HACKETT OF SILVERS ARE SID 360 00:26:35,694 --> 00:26:37,696 CAESAR. >> SID CAME LATE IN MY LIFE AND 361 00:26:37,762 --> 00:26:42,100 IT WAS THE GREATEST FEELING, THAT IS HOW I STARTED. 362 00:26:42,167 --> 00:26:46,037 BEING WANTK TO BE FUNNY. WHAT INSPIRED YOU, THAT IS WHEN 363 00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:49,207 WERE YOU A KID RIGHT. >> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH, I 364 00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:50,709 WOULD LISTEN TO ALBUMS GOING TO BED. 365 00:26:50,775 --> 00:26:53,712 >> I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD AND TELEVISION WAS THE NEW FRONTIER 366 00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:56,982 IN THE EARLY 50S. AND THE COMEDIANS SETTLED IT IT 367 00:26:57,048 --> 00:27:03,655 WAS SID T WAS GEORGE BURNS, IT WAS JACK BENNY, PHIL SILVERS, 368 00:27:03,722 --> 00:27:07,459 THE GREAT STEVE ALLEN WHO WAS THE FIRST HOST OF THE TONIGHT 369 00:27:07,525 --> 00:27:10,428 SHOW AND THAT, I REMEMBER BEING FIVE AND WATCHING ON OUR BLACK 370 00:27:10,495 --> 00:27:15,100 AND WHITE SET, SHOW OF SHOWS WITH SID CAESAR, SO THE KING AND 371 00:27:15,166 --> 00:27:18,903 I WAS THE BEST MOVIE THAT YEAR. AND IT STARRED YULE BRENAR SO 372 00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:23,541 THEY DO A KING AND AIX TAWF AND IT IS THE PALACE AND IN COMES 373 00:27:23,608 --> 00:27:26,578 SID AND IS HE IN THE BALD WIG AND CAPRI PANTS AND BARE FOOT 374 00:27:26,644 --> 00:27:31,282 AND HE STRIKES THE POSE AND HE SUDDENLY GRABS HIS FOOT AND HE 375 00:27:31,349 --> 00:27:33,451 GOES WHO'S SMOKING IN THE PALACE. 376 00:27:33,518 --> 00:27:35,787 THERE IS NO SMOKING IN THE PALACE. 377 00:27:35,854 --> 00:27:39,124 AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING I EVER HEARD IN 378 00:27:39,190 --> 00:27:42,193 MY LIFE. AND I WAS FIVE AND MY DAD REST 379 00:27:42,260 --> 00:27:47,699 HIS SOLE WOULD LET US STAY UP TO WATCH THE GREAT FUNNY PEOPLE. 380 00:27:47,766 --> 00:27:52,370 AND THAT IS WHAT I DID FROM FIVE UNTIL LIKE 7 WAS GRAB MY BARE 381 00:27:52,437 --> 00:27:54,572 FOOT AND GO WHO IS SMOKING IN THE PALACE? 382 00:27:54,639 --> 00:27:57,709 WE WOULD GO TO THE BEACH AT LONG BEACH AND IF IT WAS A HOT DAY, 383 00:27:57,776 --> 00:28:00,879 FIVE YEARS OLD, OH WHO IS SMOCKING IN THE PALACEMENT I 384 00:28:00,945 --> 00:28:04,582 THOUGHT IT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAD EVER SEEN, AND AS 385 00:28:04,649 --> 00:28:06,618 TIME WENT ON I GREW TO LOVE WHAT THEY DID. 386 00:28:06,684 --> 00:28:12,223 AND THE VOICES BEHIND IT WHICH WAS MEL BROOKS AND CARL REINER, 387 00:28:12,290 --> 00:28:15,593 HOWIE MARS TEN, UNBELIEVABLE. >> AND WOODY ALLEN EVENTUALLY. 388 00:28:15,660 --> 00:28:23,234 AND THEN WHEN I WAS-- SID WAS MY MICKEY MANTDEL BESIDES MICKEY 389 00:28:23,301 --> 00:28:27,639 MANTDELS AND WHEN I WAS DOING SEVEN-- ON BROADWAY, THERE WAS 390 00:28:27,705 --> 00:28:33,011 ONE TIME I WAS NERVOUS WHEN I KNEW MEL WAS IN THE AUDIENCE. 391 00:28:33,078 --> 00:28:36,915 AND MEL AND HIS LATE AMAZING WIFE ANN BANCROFT COME BACKSTAGE 392 00:28:36,981 --> 00:28:42,220 AND THE FIRST THING HE SAID TO ME WAS SID HAS GOT TO SEE THIS. 393 00:28:42,287 --> 00:28:46,191 SID HAS GOT-- IT JUST MELTED ME. SO WE FINISHED OUR RUN, WE GO ON 394 00:28:46,257 --> 00:28:49,828 THE ROAD AND WE FINISH IN LOS ANGELES. 395 00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:53,098 AND I GET A MESSAGE THAT SID CAESAR WANTS TO SEE THE SHOW. 396 00:28:53,164 --> 00:28:57,402 SO WE FOUND A SPECIAL PLACE FOR HIM, HE WAS WHEELCHAIR BOUND AT 397 00:28:57,469 --> 00:29:00,338 THAT POINT. AND I KNEW HE WAS IN THE 398 00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:02,140 AUDIENCE, I COULD SEE HIM FROM THE STAGE. 399 00:29:02,207 --> 00:29:05,376 AND WE HAD CHANGED PLACES. HE WAS WATCHING ME. 400 00:29:05,443 --> 00:29:10,515 AND WHEN I CAME BACKSTAGE I JUST LOST IT I JUST LOST IT,nd 401 00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:12,417 HUGGED HIM SO HARD AND SAY THANK YOU, BECAUSE WITHOUT YOU I AM 402 00:29:12,484 --> 00:29:15,353 NOT DOING THIS RIGHT NOW. >> Stephen: YOU HAVE THIS 403 00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:16,254 GREAT PHOTOGRAPH. >> OH YEAH. 404 00:29:16,321 --> 00:29:18,490 >> Stephen: THIS PHOTOGRAPH IS AMAZING. 405 00:29:18,556 --> 00:29:21,359 >> THIS IS FROM COMIC RELIEF. THIS IS WHAT I LOOK AT RIGHT 406 00:29:21,426 --> 00:29:27,232 BEFORE I GO ON STAGE EVERY NIGHT. 407 00:29:27,298 --> 00:29:30,301 THIS IS THE CAST OF THE SHOW OF SHOWS AND I GOT TO MEET THEMENTD 408 00:29:30,368 --> 00:29:33,538 WHEN WE DID COMIC RELIEF, REMEMBER WITH ROBYN AND WHOOPI 409 00:29:33,605 --> 00:29:36,407 AND THIS IS WHAT I LOOK AT EVERY NIGHT BEFORE I GO OUT. 410 00:29:36,474 --> 00:29:42,447 I HAD A CHANCE TO GREET THEM. >> Stephen. 411 00:29:42,514 --> 00:29:47,452 >> RIGHT THERE. >> THAT IS NICE. 412 00:29:47,519 --> 00:29:49,287 >> YEAH. (APPLAUSE) 413 00:29:49,354 --> 00:29:53,525 >> I REMEMBER HIM. >> Stephen: NOW YOU HAVE ONE 414 00:29:53,591 --> 00:29:57,962 OF THE NICE THINGS ABOUT BEING IN SHOW BUSINESS IS BEING 415 00:29:58,029 --> 00:30:02,700 INVITED TO SEE A PLAY THAT A FRIEND OF YOURS IN SHOW BUSINESS 416 00:30:02,767 --> 00:30:05,403 WAS IN, YOU GHET REALLY GOOD SEATS SO I WAS IN A REALLY NICE 417 00:30:05,470 --> 00:30:08,606 SPOT DOWN STAGE LEFT UP FL. AND THE THING IS I COULD SEE 418 00:30:08,673 --> 00:30:13,077 RIGHT INTO THE WINGS AND I TRY NOT TO BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE THE 419 00:30:13,144 --> 00:30:15,680 SHOW LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE. BUT THERE IS A MOMENT IN THE 420 00:30:15,747 --> 00:30:17,582 SHOW WHERE I COULDN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF OF YOU, ONE OF THE LAST 421 00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:21,920 MOMENTS BECAUSE I WENT JEEZ, THAT'S A BIG COSTUME CHANGE. 422 00:30:21,986 --> 00:30:24,822 AM I SEEING BILLY CRYSTAL BUCK NAKED. 423 00:30:24,889 --> 00:30:26,691 I WASN'T SURE WHAT WAS GOING ON. >> SHORT OF. 424 00:30:26,758 --> 00:30:31,129 TOWARD THE END OF THE SHOW, I HAVE LIKE FIVE OR SIX VERY FAST 425 00:30:31,196 --> 00:30:32,397 CHANGES. >> RIGHT. 426 00:30:32,463 --> 00:30:34,465 >> THE PART IS EXHAUSTING ENOUGH BUT HAVE I THIS LAST CHANGE FROM 427 00:30:34,532 --> 00:30:38,469 A SUIT OF CLOTHES HE'S PERFORMING ONCE AGAIN IN FRONT 428 00:30:38,536 --> 00:30:41,539 OF A RETIREMENT HOME, FULL SUIT AND HAVE I TO GO INTO THE WINGS 429 00:30:41,606 --> 00:30:45,376 AND COME BACK OUT ABOUT 28 SECONDS LATER. 430 00:30:45,443 --> 00:30:49,514 TOTALLY DIFFERENT LOOK SSES AND YOU BROUGHT A CLIP OF YOU MAKING 431 00:30:49,581 --> 00:31:04,462 THAT CHANGE BACK STAGE. ♪ 432 00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:21,646 THAT CHANGE BACK STAGE. ♪ 433 00:31:44,302 --> 00:31:46,971 (APPLAUSE). >> Stephen: LET'S GIVE IT UP 434 00:31:47,038 --> 00:31:49,073 FOR THE CREW. >> OH YEAH. 435 00:31:49,140 --> 00:31:53,544 NO, IT'S LIKE IF I WAS A NASCAR CAR, THAT, YOU KNOW, THE CREW 436 00:31:53,611 --> 00:31:57,382 CHANGING ME, A BIG PIT STOP. >> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR 437 00:31:57,448 --> 00:31:59,951 BEING HERE, LOVELY TO SEE YOU. >> GREAT TO SEE YOU 438 00:32:00,018 --> 00:32:01,319 "MR. SATURDAY NIGHT" IS ON BROADWAY AT THE NEDERLANDER 439 00:32:01,386 --> 00:32:06,624 THEATER THROUGH SEPTEMBER 4. BILLY CRYSTAL, EVERYBODY! 440 00:32:06,691 --> 00:32:09,694 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH PAUL HOLLYWOOD. 441 00:32:16,534 --> 00:32:24,676 WELCOME BACK. MY NEXT GUEST HAS SPENT 12 YEARS 442 00:32:24,742 --> 00:32:28,680 JUDGING BAKERS AND DOLING OUT INFREQUENT HANDSHAKES ON "THE 443 00:32:28,746 --> 00:32:35,253 GREAT BRITISH BAKING SHOW." PLEASE WELCOME PAUL HOLLYWOOD! 444 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,289 PAUL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. 445 00:32:38,356 --> 00:32:41,859 PAUL, YOU'VE GOT A TON, HOW MANY, SEVEN BOOKS ON BAKE SOG 446 00:32:41,926 --> 00:32:44,228 FAR. >> I THINK 7 OR 8, YEAH. 447 00:32:44,295 --> 00:32:47,398 >> Stephen: 7th OR 8TH BOOK, JUST CALL BAKE. 448 00:32:47,465 --> 00:32:49,901 ARE YOU KEEPING IT SIMPLE. >> ACTUALLY THE BOOK IS ALL 449 00:32:49,967 --> 00:32:53,705 ABOUT GOING BACK TO THE CLASSICS BECAUSE I WANTED TO READD JUST 450 00:32:53,771 --> 00:32:56,674 SOME OF THE SUGAR LEVELS BECAUSE THEY WERE A LITTLE BIT TOO HIGH. 451 00:32:56,741 --> 00:32:59,577 >> Stephen: WHAT ARE WE BAKING TONIGHT. 452 00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:00,978 >> WE ARE DOING A VERY BASIC WHITE BREAD. 453 00:33:01,045 --> 00:33:06,984 >> Stephen: THAT WAS MY STRIPPER NAME. 454 00:33:07,051 --> 00:33:09,887 (LAUGHTER) >> BUT WE'RE GOING TO BRAID IT 455 00:33:09,954 --> 00:33:12,690 OR PLATE IT. >> Stephen: LIKE THE HOLLA, 456 00:33:12,757 --> 00:33:14,158 HOW YOU DO THAT. >> YEAH. 457 00:33:14,225 --> 00:33:15,360 >> Stephen: WHAT DO WE DO FIRST. 458 00:33:15,426 --> 00:33:18,596 >> YOU START WITH, WHAT I WANT TO YOU DO YOU'VE GOT YOUR BOWL 459 00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:19,864 THERE. >> Stephen: YEAH. 460 00:33:19,931 --> 00:33:25,203 >> WITH FLOUR, YOU'VE GOT BASIC STRONGWHITE FLOWER, TO WHICH YOU 461 00:33:25,269 --> 00:33:28,673 ADD YOUR YEAST, STRAIGHT IN, A LITTLE SPLASH OF SALT ON THE 462 00:33:28,740 --> 00:33:32,710 OTHER SIDE, NEXT THING, A LITTLE BIT OF WATER, ABOUT HALF OF THAT 463 00:33:32,777 --> 00:33:36,013 TO START WITH. OLIVE OIL. 464 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:39,484 >> Stephen: HERE WE GO. >> GET YOUR FINGERS IN AND RUN 465 00:33:39,550 --> 00:33:44,021 THE WATER ON THE OUTSIDE, JUST GENTLY, THAT IS SENSUAL. 466 00:33:44,088 --> 00:33:47,058 >> Stephen: IT IS, REALLY LOVELY, THAT IS LIKE I'M 467 00:33:47,125 --> 00:33:51,396 POWDERING A BABY AND I CAN'T FIND ITS BUTT, JUST WHERE ARE 468 00:33:51,462 --> 00:33:53,831 YOU, ARE YOU IN THERE SOMEWHERE. NOW YOU SAY OF ALL THE THINGS 469 00:33:53,898 --> 00:33:57,101 YOU LIKE TOIC BA, BREAD IS YOUR NUMBER ONE THING S THAT BECAUSE 470 00:33:57,168 --> 00:33:59,570 IT IS THE PRIMAL, THE ORIGINAL. >> I THINK IT IS ONE OF THE 471 00:33:59,637 --> 00:34:04,675 HARDEST THINGS TO MASTER WITHIN BAKING, AND I THINK 472 00:34:04,742 --> 00:34:08,579 ULTIMATELY-- I THINK IF YOU UNDERSTAND BREAD MAKING, YOU 473 00:34:08,646 --> 00:34:11,849 UNDERSTAND CONSISTENCEE F YOU UNDERSTAND CONSISTENCY YOU ARE 474 00:34:11,916 --> 00:34:14,819 GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT WITH UNS ABOUT AND OTHER ELEMENTS IN THE 475 00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:16,287 BAKING WORLD. >> Stephen: YOU ASKED ABOUT 476 00:34:16,354 --> 00:34:20,658 THE BAKING FRAT TERNITY, IS THERE A MAZING PERIOD AND WHAT 477 00:34:20,725 --> 00:34:25,363 DO THEY SPANK YOU WITH? >> OBVIOUSLY THIS IS THE THING 478 00:34:25,430 --> 00:34:27,832 WITH WORDS OVER HERE IN THE U.S. THAT SHALL-- . 479 00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:29,867 >> Stephen: A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT. 480 00:34:29,934 --> 00:34:35,907 >> JUST LEATHER. (LAUGHTER) 481 00:34:35,973 --> 00:34:39,343 SO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO WITH YOUR DAIRY, YOU NEED TO MANIPULATE 482 00:34:39,410 --> 00:34:41,479 THIS DOUGH, OKAY. >> Stephen: YEP. 483 00:34:41,546 --> 00:34:44,549 >> SO BASICALLY YOU NEED TO INCORPORATE ALL OF THE 484 00:34:44,615 --> 00:34:47,151 INGREDIENTS TOGETHER. >> Stephen: YEP, THERE WE GO, 485 00:34:47,218 --> 00:34:52,356 THERE WE G IT'S HAPPENING, A LITTLE FLOUR ON THE HANDS. 486 00:34:52,423 --> 00:34:54,025 >> TRY NOT TO USE TOO MUCH FLOUR. 487 00:34:54,091 --> 00:34:56,828 >> Stephen: WHAT? IT IS SO WET THOUGH. 488 00:34:56,894 --> 00:34:57,728 >> YOU NEED TO HANDLE IT LIKE THAT. 489 00:34:57,795 --> 00:34:59,330 >> Stephen: YOU HAVE TO HANDLE IT WETLY. 490 00:34:59,397 --> 00:35:03,634 >> IF YOU ADD TOO MUCH FLOUR-- . >> Stephen: THAT IS PRETTY, 491 00:35:03,701 --> 00:35:06,871 THAT IS GORGEOUS. >> IT JUST DRIES THE DOUGH OUT 492 00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:14,612 BUT IF YOU FEEL MINE. >> Stephen: OH. 493 00:35:14,679 --> 00:35:17,748 (LAUGHTER) VERY NICE, NO IT IS VERY NICE, I 494 00:35:17,815 --> 00:35:21,586 HAVE DONE NOTHING, GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. 495 00:35:21,652 --> 00:35:27,859 WELL, FEEL MINE. >> IT IS A BIT STIFF. 496 00:35:27,925 --> 00:35:35,800 (LAUGHTER) >> BUT I THINK ULTIMATELY, 497 00:35:35,867 --> 00:35:40,771 YOU'VE JUST T IS ABOUT-- STOP IT. 498 00:35:40,838 --> 00:35:47,778 >> OKAY. >> GOOD. 499 00:35:47,845 --> 00:35:49,981 THE MORE BHARKS YOU DO WITH THAT DOUGH THEN, ALWAYS LEAVE THAT 500 00:35:50,047 --> 00:35:55,753 FOR AFTER NOW, A BIT MORE STRETCH IN AND THEN LEAVE IT FOR 501 00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:59,090 TWO OR THREE HOURS THRORKS THAT IN THE BOWL FOR NOW, GET RID OF 502 00:35:59,156 --> 00:36:00,424 THAT. >> THIS IS ME. 503 00:36:00,491 --> 00:36:07,598 >> AND YOU END UP WITH A PIECE OF DOUGH LIKE THIS. 504 00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:12,703 WHAT WE WILL DO IS A PLAIT OR A BRAID, PUT A LITTLE BIT OF FLOUR 505 00:36:12,770 --> 00:36:15,907 ON TO THE BENCH. >> Stephen: NOW ONE OF THE 506 00:36:15,973 --> 00:36:20,144 GREATEST HONORS YOU CAN GET ON THE GREAT BRITISH BAKING SHOW IS 507 00:36:20,211 --> 00:36:22,647 HOLLYWOOD HANDSHAKE. THERE HAS BEEN SOME CRITICISM 508 00:36:22,713 --> 00:36:24,682 THAT THEY HAVE BEEN GIVEN OUT TOO MUCH AND YOU MIGHT HAVE TO 509 00:36:24,749 --> 00:36:28,686 RETIRE IT BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN DEVALUED. 510 00:36:28,753 --> 00:36:31,022 >> I AGREE. I JUST THINK THE PROBLEM IS I 511 00:36:31,088 --> 00:36:34,959 DON'T GO IN THE TENT, THE QUALITY HAS JUST GOT SO MUCH 512 00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:36,694 BETTER. AT THE MOMENT, I'M IN THE MIDDLE 513 00:36:36,761 --> 00:36:40,698 OF FILMING THE AMERICAN VERSION. SHOW. 514 00:36:40,765 --> 00:36:47,872 OVER IN THE U.K AND WE'RE ACTUALLY S I'M JUST 515 00:36:47,939 --> 00:36:50,441 FOLLOWING YOU. >> LOOK AT MINE. 516 00:36:50,508 --> 00:36:52,643 >> Stephen: WHAT? >> LOOK AT WHAT IT HAS DONE WITH 517 00:36:52,710 --> 00:36:54,812 THIS ONE. FLATEN IT. 518 00:36:54,879 --> 00:36:57,815 >> Stephen: I'M GETTING NO INSTRUCTIONS FROM YOU. 519 00:36:57,882 --> 00:37:03,955 I'M FLYING BLIND HERE, PAUL. >> DON'T USE TOO MUCH FLOUR. 520 00:37:04,021 --> 00:37:08,125 >> Stephen: I USED JUST ENOUGH FLOUR, PAUL, LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL 521 00:37:08,192 --> 00:37:10,294 THAT IS, LOOK AT THAT YOU CAN'T TELL THOSE APART. 522 00:37:10,361 --> 00:37:13,431 >> Stephen: SALT IN THE MIDDLE. 523 00:37:13,497 --> 00:37:19,337 JUST BOW IT OUT SLIGHTLY. GOOD SO ST ALL THE SAME, YOU 524 00:37:19,403 --> 00:37:23,874 KNOW WHAT I MEAN, ALL THE SAME IS LENGTH, OKAY? 525 00:37:23,941 --> 00:37:28,579 >> NOW GET YOUR SCRAPER, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD. 526 00:37:28,646 --> 00:37:31,983 >> Stephen: YEAH. >> DIVIDE IT INTO TWO. 527 00:37:32,049 --> 00:37:33,250 >> Stephen: YEAH. >> AND THEN AGAIN. 528 00:37:33,317 --> 00:37:36,954 >> Stephen: OKAY. >> AND AGAIN, AND THEN WE'RE 529 00:37:37,021 --> 00:37:42,593 GOING TO DO IT AGAIN. WE END UP WITH ROUGHLY-- EACH 530 00:37:42,660 --> 00:37:45,396 PIECE YOU WANT TO ROLL OUT SLIGHTLY LIKE THAT. 531 00:37:45,463 --> 00:37:52,637 JUST IN THE MIDDLE. JUST REST YOUR BODY INTO IT, 532 00:37:52,703 --> 00:37:54,805 SHAPE IT. >> OKAY. 533 00:37:54,872 --> 00:37:59,877 IF YOU GET YOUR PIECE OF DOUGH IN THE MIDDLE AGAIN LIKE WE DO 534 00:37:59,944 --> 00:38:03,781 WITH THE LARGE ONE, PUT A BIT OF PRESSURE INTO IT. 535 00:38:03,848 --> 00:38:08,352 AND THEN WHAT YOU WANT TO DO IS UP AND DOWN OF, YOU DON'T WANT 536 00:38:08,419 --> 00:38:11,455 TO STRETCH IT TOO MUCH. >> CAN'T GET THE GRIP, YOU KNOW 537 00:38:11,522 --> 00:38:13,858 WHAT I HAVE GOT OVER HERE. >> TOO MUCH FLOUR. 538 00:38:13,924 --> 00:38:15,660 >> Stephen: IS WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY. 539 00:38:15,726 --> 00:38:20,698 >> WHAT YOU HAVE GOT TO DO IS COPY ME, PUT THESE THREE ON 540 00:38:20,765 --> 00:38:22,400 QUICKLY. >> Stephen: I'M NOT DOING THAT 541 00:38:22,466 --> 00:38:24,935 ANY MORE. >> NO,. 542 00:38:25,002 --> 00:38:26,437 >> Stephen: HAVE I GIVEN UP. >> TOO MUCH FLOUR. 543 00:38:26,504 --> 00:38:29,874 >> Stephen: I CAN'T DO T I'M A FAILURE. 544 00:38:29,940 --> 00:38:31,442 >> OKAY. SO WHAT YOU DO,. 545 00:38:31,509 --> 00:38:33,644 >> Stephen: NO HANDSHAKE FOR ME. 546 00:38:33,711 --> 00:38:37,481 >> INSTEAD OF AN OCTOPUS, MAKE SURE IT IS JOINED AT THE TOP. 547 00:38:37,548 --> 00:38:44,555 >> Stephen: I GOT THAT. >> I'M JOINED IT, BABY. 548 00:38:44,622 --> 00:38:46,791 >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING. >> Stephen: I'M JOINING IT. 549 00:38:46,857 --> 00:38:51,462 >> THAT IS NOT WHAT A JUMP IS SPS I JOINED IT, HOW DID YOU 550 00:38:51,529 --> 00:38:52,730 JOIN YOURS IS, YOU JUST DOING WHAT I DID. 551 00:38:52,797 --> 00:38:55,232 BUT SLOWER. >> NEATER. 552 00:38:55,299 --> 00:38:58,169 >> Stephen: LOOK AT THIS. >> OKAY. 553 00:38:58,235 --> 00:39:01,038 SPREAD OUT YOUR-- . >> Stephen: MY STRANDS. 554 00:39:01,105 --> 00:39:02,139 >> STRANDS, OKAY. >> Stephen: YEAH. 555 00:39:02,206 --> 00:39:06,811 >> THEN THE SEQUENCE, I WILL TILL, YOU WILL COPY ME. 556 00:39:06,877 --> 00:39:10,614 I CAN'T STOP, I CAN'T SLOW UP BECAUSE THE SEQUENCE I REALLY 557 00:39:10,681 --> 00:39:12,116 HAVE TO FOLLOW OTHERWISE I WILL LOSE CONCENTRATION. 558 00:39:12,183 --> 00:39:17,855 >> Stephen: GO AHEAD. >> OKAY, THAT IS ONE. 559 00:39:17,922 --> 00:39:18,622 >> Stephen: YEAH. >> ONE. 560 00:39:18,689 --> 00:39:20,691 >> Stephen: YEAH. >> TWO, THREE. 561 00:39:20,758 --> 00:39:24,695 >> Stephen: THREE. >> FOUR FIVE. 562 00:39:24,762 --> 00:39:28,699 (LAUGHTER) >> SIX, SEVEN. 563 00:39:28,766 --> 00:39:43,647 EIGHT, NINE. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). 564 00:39:43,714 --> 00:39:51,989 EIGHT, NINE. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). 565 00:39:52,056 --> 00:39:58,929 >> Stephen: LOOK AT THAT. >> AND THAT IS HOW IT COMES OUT. 566 00:39:58,996 --> 00:39:59,897 >> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> MY PLEASURE. 567 00:39:59,964 --> 00:40:03,768 >> Stephen: PAUL HOLLYWOOD. THE NEW BOOK. 568 00:40:03,834 --> 00:40:04,401 BAKE. IT IS AVAILABLE NOW. 569 00:40:04,468 --> 00:40:06,971 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 570 00:40:18,349 --> 00:40:19,350 >> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." 571 00:40:19,416 --> 00:40:21,385 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE ETHAN HAWKE. 572 00:40:21,452 --> 00:40:24,455 GOOD NIGHT.