WALT DISNEY GETTING A LITTLE RACY HERE BECAUSE ON FRIDAY THEY
BEGAN STREAMING R RATED MOVIES ON ITS FLAGSHIP DISNEY PLUS
STREAMING SERVICE. THAT HAPPENED FOR THE FIRST
TIME. >> NETFLIX HAVE ALWAYS SHOWN R
RATED CONTENT, NOW DISNEY PLUS ARE WADING TOO THE PICTURE SO
FAR THEY WERE THE ONLY MAJOR STREAM TORE STICK WITH PG RATED,
THIS IS ANOTHER WAY THEY ARE LOOKING TO COMPETE AND
ATTRACTING EYEBALLS. >> WITH DISNEY PLUS YOU KNOW YOU
CAN COUNT ON AN UNRIVALED CATALOG OF ENTERTAINMENT
SUITABLE FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY BUT AFTER TAKING A LOOK AT OUR
UNDERPERFORMING NUMBERS ARE WITH ADULTSES WE DECIDED TO ADJUST
OUR CONTENT FOR A MORE MATURE AUDIENCE.
>> ♪ WITH JUST A FEW SLIGHT TWEAKS
THESE ICONIC CHARACTERS ARE RELATABLE TO A WHOLE NEW
DEMOGRAPHIC. >> I CAN SHOW YOU MY [BLEEP]
♪ WE EVEN PULLED UP ACADEMY AWARD WINNER RANDY NEWMAN TO
UPDATE HIS CLASSIC SONG. ♪ YOU'VE GOT A.
♪ YOU'VE GOT A [BLEEP] YEAH WE'RE FRIENDS BUT.
♪ ALSO MORE. ♪ YOU CAN [BLEEP]
♪ YOU'VE GOT A [BLEEP] >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE
SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!" TONIGHT:
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: CONGRESSMAN JAMIE RASKIN
AND MUSICAL GUEST DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN."
WITH SPECIAL GUEST ST. VINCENTS AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE
ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). ♪ HEY, HEY.
WELCOME HOME. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
HAPPY MONDAY. WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW.
HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. IT IS A HOT TIME IN THE OLD TOWN
TONIGHT! AND I'VE GOT TO GIVE IT UP FOR
MY AUDIENCE, WHO STOOD OUTSIDE FOR HOURS IN THE HEAT, AND THEN
WERE DRENCHED IN A DOWNPOUR. WE'RE DEFINITELY NOT GETTING OUR
DEPOSIT BACK ON THESE PEOPLE. THE WHOLE COUNTRY HAS BEEN SET
TO FLAME-BROIL, BUT IN SOME PLACES, IT'S EXTRA CRISPY.
FOR OVER A WEEK IN OKLAHOMA, TEMPERATURES HAVE TOPPED 100
DEGREES. IT'S SO HOT, THE STATE HAS A
WILTED PANHANDLE. YOU CAN SHOW THAT RIGHT.
>> IT'S FINE. AND THINGS COULD GET MUCH
HOTTER, ACCORDING TO CLIMATE ACTIVIST AL GORE, SEEN HERE IN A
SEXY P.S.A. ABOUT THE DANGEROUS WARMING IN YOUR PANTS.
GORE WENT ON THE SUNDAY SHOWS THIS WEEKEND, WARNING THAT
OUR ATMOSPHERE COULD "GET A LOT WORSE."
THANKS, AL! WHERE WERE YOU 20 YEARS AGO,
WHEN WE COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING ABOUT THIS?
I'M SORRY, HE WHAT? REALLY?
OKAY, WELL, MAYBE IF MORE PEOPLE HAD VOTED FOR HIM THAN THE OTHER
GUY, HE WOULD HAVE HAD A CHANCE TO BE-- OH, I'M SORRY WHAT?
OKAY. SAY HY TO TIPPER?
WHAT? HERE'S WHAT THE FORMER
ALMOST-PRESIDENT SAID: >> BEHIND ME YOU SEE A PICTURE
FROM THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION THAT SHOWS HOW THIN THE
ATMOSPHERE IS. >> Stephen: AND THE AWARD FOR
MOST DEPRESSING ZOOM BACKGROUND GOES TO AL GORE!
BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME, "UNMADE BED WITH LUMP OF CLOTHES ON IT."
GORE EXPLAINED THE EFFECT OF ALL THE CARBON WE'RE DUMPING IN
THE ATMOSPHERE: >> THAT'S WHY THE HEAT RECORDS
ARE BEING BROKEN ALL THE TIME NOW.
THAT'S WHY THE STORMS ARE STRONGER, WHY THE ICE IS MELTING
AND THE SEA LEVEL IS RISING AND WHY THE DROUGHTS AND FIRES ARE
HITTING US SO HARD AND SO MANY OTHER CONSEQUENCES.
>> Stephen: "AND WHILE I'M DEPRESSING YOU, I JUST WANT TO
LET YOU KNOW THAT SWITCHING TO PAPER STRAWS DOES ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING. WHILE YOU IDIOTS WASH
YOGURT RESIDUE OUT OF A PLASTIC CUP, I'M GOING TO GO
PUNCH A SEA TURTLE." THANKFULLY, NOT ALL THE NEWS IS
ABOUT DEADLY HEAT. THERE'S ALSO PLENTY OF PLAGUE.
SPECIFICALLY, MONKEYPOX! I'LL TELL YOU THE LATEST IN MY
SEGMENT: >> EVERYBODY'S GOT SOMETHING TO
HIDE EXCEPT ME AND MY MONKEYPOX! >> IMAGINE THERE'S NO LESIONS!
>> Stephen: ON SATURDAY, THE W.H.O. DECLARED MONKEYPOX A
GLOBAL HEALTH EMERGENCY. NO, NO, W.H.O.!
NO NEW HEALTH EMERGENCIES UNTIL YOU FINISH YOUR COVID,
LITTLE MISTER. THE REASON MONKEYPOX HAS BEEN
UPPED TO EMERGENCY STATUS IS BECAUSE IT'S SPREADING FASTER
THAN SCIENTISTS EXPECTED. AS OF TODAY, NEW YORK CITY ALONE
HAS LOGGED OVER 1,000 CASES. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.
THE ONLY DISEASE YOU SHOULD CONTRACT IN NEW YORK IS HERPES
FROM A SUBWAY POLE.
WELCOME TO OUR BEAUTIFUL CITY! TOUCH NOTHING.
THE C.D.C. HAS PROVIDED SOME INFORMATION ON HOW MONKEYPOX
SPREADS. MAINLY THROUGH DIRECT CONTACT
WITH AN INFECTIOUS RASH, AND BODY FLUIDS.
WHICH IS WHY THEY SAY, WHEN AT ALL POSSIBLE, PEOPLE WITH
MONKEYPOX SHOULD HANDLE THEIR OWN SOILED LAUNDRY.
THAT C.D.C. REPORT WAS WRITTEN BY DR. MOM WHO'S SICK OF THIS.
"YOU'RE 23, JORDAN! GO TO A LAUNDROMAT!"
UNLIKE COVID, RESEARCHERS HAVE FOUND THAT THE MONKEYPOX VIRUS
CAN LIVE ON SURFACES FOR UP TO 15 DAYS.
OKAY, I SPENT OVER A YEAR WIPING DOWN MY GROCERIES, BUT I DRAW
THE LINE AT SCRUBBING MY MONKEY. IT'S A SIN.
(LAUGHTER) SPEAKING OF DISEASED, ON FRIDAY,
WE GOT A VERDICT IN THE CONTEMPT TRIAL OF FORMER PRESIDENTIAL
ADVISOR-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
STEVE BANNON. SEEN HERE SPOTTING A GOOD
SLEEPIN' PLACE AT THE DOG TRACK. LEADING UP TO AND THROUGH THE
TRIAL, BANNON HAS BEEN FIERCELY DEFIANT.
>> THIS IS GOING TO BE THE MISDEMEANOR FROM HELL FOR
MERRICK GARLAND, NANCY PELOSI AND JOE BIDEN.
WE'RE GOING TO GO ON THE OFFENSE.
WE'RE TIRED OF PLAYING DEFENSE, WE'RE GOING ON THE OFFENSE ON
THIS AND STAND BY. PRAY FOR OUR ENEMIES, BECAUSE
WE'RE GOING MEDIEVAL ON THESE PEOPLE.
WE'RE GOING TO SAVAGE OUR ENEMIES.
SO PRAY FOR THEM. WHO NEEDS PRAYERS.
CERTAINLY NOT STEVEN K. BANNON. >> Stephen: HE DOESN'T NEED
PRAYERS, OR WANT THEM. I BELIEVE WE HAVE FOOTAGE OF THE
LAST TIME SOMEONE PRAYED FOR STEVE BANNON.
>> THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> Stephen: SO, WHAT KINDS OF
SAVAGE MEDIEVAL HELL DID BANNON UNLEASH ON HIS ENEMIES DURING
THE TRIAL? HE PUT ON NO DEFENSE, AND WAS
FOUND GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES. EVIDENTLY, BANNON WAS HOPING
TO WIN IN THE COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION.
UNFORTUNATELY, THE TRIAL WAS HELD IN THE COURT OF COURT.
NOW THAT HE'S CONVICTED, BANNON FACES UP TO TWO YEARS IN FEDERAL
PRISON. THAT IS AMAZING NEWS FOR
EVERYONE EXCEPT FOR THE PRISON GUARD WHO HAS TO PERFORM THE
STRIP SEARCH. "ALL RIGHT, MR. BANNON, SIR,
PLEASE REMOVE YOUR SHIRT. AND YOUR OTHER SHIRT.
AND ALL THE REMAINING SHIRTS." WE HAD A QUESTION BACKSTAGE IF
THE AUDIENCE WOULD REMEMBER THAT HE WEARS A LOT OF SHIRTS AT
ONCE. I WASN'T SURE IF Y'ALL WOULD
REMEMBER. I THINK I WAS RIGHT.
SO IN A WAY-- NO LAUGHS. (APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: A LITTLE VICTORY. THE JURY CONVICTED BANNON
AFTER LESS THAN THREE HOURS OF DELIBERATION, INCLUDING A
LUNCH BREAK. IT TOOK THEM LESS TIME TO
CONVICT HIM THAN IT DID TO AGREE ON CALAMARI FOR THE TABLE.
REMINDS ME OF THE CLASSIC FILM, "12 HANGRY MEN."
BANNON'S NOT THE ONLY ONE BEING AFFECTED BY THE JANUARY 6th
COMMITTEE. THEIR HEARINGS HAVE HAD A HUGE
NEGATIVE IMPACT ON THE REPUTATION OF FORMER PRESIDENT
GRAND THEFT AUTOCRAT. ACCORDING TO A "NEW YORK
TIMES"-SIENA COLLEGE-KIBBLES & BITS POLL, NEARLY HALF OF
REPUBLICAN PRIMARY VOTERS ARE SEEKING SOMEONE DIFFERENT FOR
PRESIDENT IN 2024, AND A SIGNIFICANT NUMBER ARE VOWING TO
ABANDON HIM IF HE WINS THE NOMINATION.
SO THAT MEANS SO THE HEARINGS ARE WORKING!
THE FORMER PRESIDENT HAS BEEN BETRAYED BY HIS CLOSEST FRIEND:
TV! WATCH OUT SIR, TOILET WILL
BETRAY YOU NEXT! (LAUGHTER)
THE THINGS IT'S SEEN. WOW, WOW.
SEEMS LIKE REPUBLICAN VIEWERS WERE LISTENING WHEN JANUARY 6th
-- SORRY, SORRY, I WAS SO THROWN.
I WAS THROWN BY HOW EMOTIONALLY INVESTED YOU WERE IN HIS TOILET.
(LAUGHTER) OKAY.
SEEMS LIKE REPUBLICAN VIEWERS WERE LISTENING WHEN JANUARY
6th COMMITTEE MEMBER ADAM KINZINGER
SAID THIS: >> I SAY THIS TO MY FELLOW
REPUBLICANS-- WATCH THIS WITH AN OPEN MIND.
AND, IS THIS THE KIND OF STRONG LEADER YOU REALLY THINK
YOU DESERVE? >> Stephen: NO, THE STRONG
LEADER REPUBLICANS THINK THEY DESERVE IS RAMBO JESUS RIDING A
TIGER WITH DOUBLE-D's. ONE REPUBLICAN WHO SEEMS TO HAVE
TURNED ON THE FORMER PRESIDENT IS MEDIA MOGUL AND BILLIONAIRE
BLOBFISH... RUPERT MURDOCH.
ON FRIDAY, AFTER THE COMMITTEE DEMONSTRATED THAT THE FORMER
PRESIDENT ACTIVELY WANTED THE INSURRECTION TO HAPPEN,
MURDOCH'S "NEW YORK POST" PUBLISHED AN OP-ED CALLING THE
EX-PREZ "UNWORTHY TO BE CHIEF EXECUTIVE AGAIN."
WELL SAID, "NEW YORK POST." BUT WHERE'S THE PUN?
THE HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE BEEN: "UNCLE RUPE POO-POOS COUP:
IS THERE A MURDOCH-TOR IN THE HOUSE?"
THIS WEEKEND, AT THE RIGHTWING "TURNING POINT USA SUMMIT,"
WE HEARD FROM MISSOURI SENATOR AND STAR OF THE NEW FILM
"FASCIST GUMP"... JOSH HAWLEY.
HAWLEY'S BEST KNOWN FOR RAISING HIS FIST IN SOLIDARITY WITH THE
CAPITOL RIOTERS, THEN BEING ONE OF THE SENATORS WHO OBJECTED TO
BIDEN'S VICTORY IN PENNSYLVANIA AFTER THEY STORMED THE CAPITOL.
AND HE TOLD THE CROWD HE'S NOT SORRY.
>> I OBJECTED ON JANUARY 6th LAST YEAR TO THE STATE OF
PENNSYLVANIA. AND I JUST WANT TO SAY TO ALL OF
THOSE LIBERALS OUT THERE AND THE LIBERAL MEDIA, JUST IN CASE YOU
HAVEN'T GOTTEN THE MESSAGE YET, I DO NOT REGRET IT!
I AM NOT BACKING DOWN! I'M NOT GOING TO APOLOGIZE.
I'M NOT GOING TO COWER. I'M NOT GOING TO RUN FROM YOU.
>> Stephen: YEAH. HE IS NEVER GOING TO RUN FROM
HIS ENEMIES! IN FACT, HERE HE IS ON JANUARY
6th, BRAVELY MOONWALKING INTO DANGER.
>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT!
MY GUEST IS CONGRESSMAN JAMIE RASKIN.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF MY TECH SEGMENT:
"CYBORGASM." STICK AROUND.
>> Stephen: GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND, EVERYBODY.
HEY I HAD TO LOUIS AND ST. VINCENT AND EVERYONE IN STAY
HUMAN. THERE YOU GO.
(APPLAUSE). >> Stephen: LOUIS, HAPPY
MONDAY. >> OH HAPPY MONDAY.
>> Stephen: AS IF I HAVE TO ASK, WHO ARE WE HONORED TO HAVE
SITTING WITH THE BAND TONIGHT. >> MY GOODNESS, HONORED IS A
GOOD WORD FOR IT BECAUSE WE HAVE THE INCOMPARABLE, THE EVER
CREATIVE INDIVIDUAL ST. VINCENT. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Stephen: THAI SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. >> Stephen: I HAVE A QUESTION,
YOU WERE BORN IN TULSA, RIGHT? DO YOU STILL HAVE FAMILY THERE?
>> I DO IN FACT, YEAH. >> Stephen: HOW ARE THEY
KEEPING COOL IN THE HEAT BECAUSE IT IS LIKE A HUNDRED DEGREES FOR
LIKE TEN DAYS DOWN THERE? >> WELL, I THINK THERE'S AIR
CONDITIONING. >> Stephen: OH.
RIGHT, I FORGOT. I FORGOT.
YOU JUST HAVE TO BUILD TUNNELS FROM HOUSE-TO-HOUSE LIKE A HABIT
TRAIL AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. >> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
>> Stephen: ST. VINCENT, EVERYBODY.
(APPLAUSE) NOW THIS IS NOT THIS YEAR BUT
THIS IS MOST RENAL BUM IS DADDY'S HOME.
RELEASED TO UNIVERSAL ACCLAIM,
RELEASED TO UNIVERSAL ACCLAIM. NOW ALSO TONIGHT WE HAVE FROM
THE JANUARY 6th COMMITTEE CONGRESSMAN JAMIE RASKIN WILL BE
OUT HERE. FOLKS, IF YOU WATCH THIS SHOW,
YOU KNOW I AM ALL ABOUT TECH. I'M SO PROFICIENT ON MY iPHONE
THAT I CAN CALL PEOPLE JUST BY USING MY BUTT.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW I'M DOING IT. OR HOW IT EVEN UNLOCKS.
IS THERE REALLY THAT LITTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MY BUTT AND
MY FACE? AND I LIKE TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT
THE LATEST TECH DEVELOPMENTS IN MY LONG-RUNNING SEGMENT,
"CYBORGASM!"
(APPLAUSE) FIRST UP, RUSSIA, WHERE IT'S
BLEAK, BUT IT'S ALSO SCARY. DURING A CHESS TOURNAMENT IN
MOSCOW, "A CHESS ROBOT GRABBED AND BROKE THE FINGER OF ITS
SEVEN-YEAR-OLD OPPONENT." THE CHILD "APPARENTLY MOVED HIS
PIECE TOO SOON, AND THE ROBOT GRABBED HIS FINGER AND SQUEEZED
IT, CAUSING A FRACTURE." IT'S THE WORST EXAMPLE OF A
ROBOT COMPETITOR BECOMING VIOLENT SINCE WATSON STRANGLED
KEN JENNINGS. YOU'LL BE GLAD TO KNOW THE CHILD
IS OKAY, AND THE PRESIDENT OF THE MOSCOW CHESS FEDERATION,
SERGEY LAZAREV, RESPONDED TO THE INCIDENT, SAYING "THE ROBOT
BROKE THE CHILD'S FINGER. THIS IS OF COURSE BAD."
THAT IS THE MOST RUSSIAN RESPONSE EVER.
IN FACT, THIS IS WHAT THEIR CONDOLENCE CARDS LOOK LIKE.
"YOUR HUSBAND IS DEAD. THIS IS, OF COURSE, BAD."
NEXT UP, THERE'S A NEW RESTAURANT IN BROOKLYN BRAGGING
ABOUT THEIR TRENDY NEW ROBOT CAT THAT WILL SERVE YOU DIM SUM, AND
HERE'S A LOOK AT THE SUPPOSED CAT ROBOT IN ACTION.
THAT'S NOT A CAT! THEY JUST PROGRAMMED DIGITAL
WHISKERS ON AN AIR PURIFIER. THE DESIGNERS HAVE CLEARLY NEVER
MET A CAT. A REAL ROBOT CAT WOULD KNOCK
OVER YOUR DRINKS, WALK ACROSS YOUR PLATE, THEN SHOW YOU ITS
BUTT HOLE. WHICH WOULD UNLOCK ITS PHONE.
NEXT UP ON THE 'GASM: "ROCKET SCIENTISTS HAVE BUILT A
MOBILE PIZZA ROBOT." CURRENTLY THE ROBOT APPEARS TO
BE EARTHBOUND, AND IS DESCRIBED AS "A FULLY-AUTOMATED,
FULLY-ENCLOSED MOBILE PIZZA MAKER," WHERE "EVERY STEP OF THE
PIZZA-BUILDING PROCESS IS COMPLETED BY A SOPHISTICATED
COMBINATION OF ROBOTIC ARMS AND CONVEYER BELTS."
MMMMM. JUST LIKE GRANDMA'S ROBOTIC ARMS
AND CONVEYOR BELTS USED TO MAKE. AGAIN, SCIENTISTS, THE CANCER.
I TAKE IT WE'VE GOT THAT LICKED? NEXT UP IN THE 'GASM, BIG
CHANGES ARE COMING TO AMERICA'S PAST-TIME, BECAUSE "MAJOR LEAGUE
BASEBALL PLANS TO INTRODUCE ROBOT UMPIRES," PART OF A
LEAGUE-WIDE "EFFORT TO MAKE BASEBALL MOVE FASTER."
IN FACT, "ROBOT UMPIRES LOP NINE MINUTES OFF THE LENGTH OF AN
AVERAGE GAME." SO BASEBALL GAMES WILL NOW ONLY
LAST FOREVER MINUS NINE MINUTES. (APPLAUSE)
, NEXT UP, I'M ENJOYING THESE JOKES A LOT.
NEXT UP, THERE'S GOOD NEWS IF YOU'RE NOT SURE HOW YOUR CHICKEN
IS FEELING, BECAUSE A TEAM OF SCIENTISTS IN HONG KONG HAVE
"CREATED A NEW A.I. THAT CAN ACCURATELY DETECT DISTRESS
NOISES FROM CHICKENS." WHY WOULD YOU INVENT THAT?
I THINK WE CAN GUESS HOW THE CHICKENS ARE FEELING.
NOT GREAT. WHY DON'T YOU JUST INVENT A
MACHINE THAT TELLS US IF COWS REMEMBER THEIR MOMS?
-- I KNOW, I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME WAY YOU DO.
YOU ARE FEELING, THAT A-W-W IS THE BASIS OF THIS ENTIRE JOKE.
SAINTS VINCENT, I DIDN'T ASK YOU BUT IS THERE ANY CHANCE YOU ARE
A VEGAN. >> I DID THAT ONCE BUT I'M NOT.
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CONGRESSMAN JAMIE
RASKIN.
WELCOME BACK. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FOLKS,
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A THREE-TERM CONGRESSMAN FROM MARYLAND WHO
SERVED AS LEAD IMPEACHMENT MANAGER DURING THE 2021 TRIAL,
AND IS THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK, "UNTHINKABLE."
HE CURRENTLY SITS ON THE JANUARY 6th COMMITTEE.
PLEASE WELCOME CONGRESSMAN JAMIE RASKIN!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). >> Stephen: WHAT CAN I SAY.
CONGRESSMAN, THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> THE PLEASURE IS ALL MINE. >> Stephen: GLAD TO SEE YOU IN
PERSON, I ENJOYED YOUR WORK IN THE 2021 IMPEACHMENT, YOU MADE
THE CASE QUITE COMPELLINGLY. AND THE COMMITTEE JUST HAD THEIR
SEASON FINALE AFTER EIGHT EPISODES.
AND THE REVIEWS ARE GOOD. AND I REALLY DON'T MEAN THAT
FACETIOUSLY THERE WERE NO DUDS. I THINK EVERYBODY WHO WANTED THE
TROOPS TO GET OUT THERE WERE QUITE IM-- IT GET THE TRUTH OUT
THERE WERE IMPRESSED WITH THE CLARITY, DENSITY OF THE
INFORMATION AND HOW WELL PRESENTED, HOW EASILY UNDERSTOOD
IT WAS. WHAT DO YOU THINK WE LEARNED,
THE PUBLIC LEARNED FROM THOSE EIGHT HEARINGS THAT IS MOST
IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER. >> WELL, IT IS A SPELL BINDING
STORY BECAUSE IT IT IS THE STORY OF THE WORST PRESIDENTIAL CRIME
IN AMERICAN HISTORY. WE HAD A PRESIDENT WHO LOST THE
ELECTION BY MORE THAN 7 MILLION VOTES TKS WASN'T LIKE IT WAS
CLOSE OR ANYTHING. AND HE JUST REFUSED TO TAKE NO
FOR AN ANSWER. SO WE SAW HIM GO TO THE
LEGISLATURES TO SEE IF THEY WOULD VOID OUT THE POPULAR VOTE
AND INSTALL TRUMP ELECTORS. WE SAW HIM CALL UPSTATE ELECTION
OFFICIALS LIKE SECRETARY OF STATE BRAD WRATH LISTBERGER, A
LIFELONG REPUBLICAN WHO CONTRIBUTED HANDSOMELY TO THE
TRUMP CAMPAIGN AND JUST SAID FIND ME 11,787 VOTE, THAT SAUL I
WANT. I'M A POLITICIAN, THAT SAUL I
WANT IS 11,780 VOTES. AND WHEN NONE OF THAT WORKED,
THEN HE DECIDED HE WOULD PUT ALL THE PRESSURE ON VICE PRESIDENT
PENCE TO STEP OUTSIDE OF HIS CONSTITUTIONAL ROLE TO DECLARE
AND EXERCISE UNPRECEDENTED LAWLESS POWER TO NUL FRIDAY
ELECTORAL COLLEGE VOTES FROM ARIZONA, GEORGIA, PENNSYLVANIA,
ESSENTIALLY VAPE ORIZING THE VOTES OF TENS OF MILLIONS OF
PEOPLE. AND WHEN PENCE SURPRISINGLY TO
SOME PEOPLE'S CAMP, REFUSED TO GO ALONG WITH THAT AND STOOD
STRONG AND SHOID HIMSELF TO BE A PATRIOT THAT DAY, AND OVER IN
THE PRIOR WEEKS, TRUMP SUM MONDAYED, INVOKED, INCITED,
GALVANIZED AND THEN SOANT A MOB TO THE CAPITOL IN ORDER TO
OVERTHROW THE ELECTION. >> Stephen: AND HE KNEW THEY
WERE ARMED. >> AND HE KNEW THEY WERE ARMED.
AND NOTHING LIKE THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED IN AMERICAN HISTORY
BEFORE. SO THANK YOU FOR SAYING WE DID A
GOOD JOB. BUT WE HAD A LOT OF MATERIAL TO
WORK WITH IN. AND.
THE POINT IS THAT TO MY MIND, THAT DEMOCRACY IS TRULY A
FRAGILE THING. I MEAN BEFORE THE AMERICAN
REVOLUTION, EVERYBODY HAD LIVED UNDER KINGS AND QUEENS AND
EMPERORS AND GUARDS AND PEOPLE LIKE DONALD TRUMP AND VLADIMIR
PUTIN. THAT IS WHAT LIFE WAS LIKE FOR
MOST PEOPLE. AND OUR FOUNDERS, AS FLAWED AS
THEY WERE IN DIFFERENT WAYS HAD THE INCITE TO SAY LET'S CREATE A
GOVERNMENT BASED ON THE CONSENT OF THE GOV NERNED-- GOVERNED AND
DEMOCRACY. AND THAT IS THE RADICALISM OF
THE AMERICAN EXPERIMENTS. BUT ALL OVER THE WORLD TODAY THE
AUTOCRATS, THE DICTATORS, THE BULLY, THE TYRANTS, THE DESPOTS
ARE ALL ON THE MARCH. >> Stephen: WHY DO YOU THINK
THAT IS, AT FIRST I THOUGHT THE PREVIOUS PRESIDENT WAS SOME SORT
OF AN ANOMALY, LIKE AN UNKNOWN-- THAT APPEARS AND
CHANGES THE COURSE OF HISTORY. BUT HEN MY SON POINTED OUT,
THAN DAD Y IS ORBON, THERE, ERDOGAN, WHY IS PUTIN HOLDING ON
TO POWER. WHY IS THIS SOMETHING HAPPENING
IF NOT IN EVERY DIME TONE, IN EVERY HEMISPHERE.
>> IT IS LIKE ALL OF THE MONSTERS OF THE 20th CENTURY
HAVE BEEN REVISITED UPON US, RIGHT.
AND WELL, IF YOU LISTEN TO PRESIDENT BIDEN WHO HAS TOLD
THIS SEVERAL TIMES IN COMING TO THE HILL, HE SAYS WHEN THOSE
AUTOCRATS TALK TO HIM, THEY SAY JOE BIDEN, YOU ARE A NICE GUY,
YOU ARE A GOOD BUY, BUT IN THE 21S CENTURY WITH CLIMATE CHANGE
WHICH THEY ALL ADMIT TO BE TRUE BEHIND CLOSED DOORS, AND WITH
ALL OF THE IMMIGRATION AND SO ON.
WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS IS STRONG MEN.
AND ARE YOU NOT A STRONG MAN, ARE YOU NOT AN AUTOCRAT, YOU ARE
NOT A DICTATOR. AND SO FROM MOSCOW TO MAR A LAGO
OUGHT ALL THE AUTOCRATS ARE WORKING TOGETHER TO TRY TO
OVERTHROW DEMOCRACY WHICH IS WHY THE AMERICAN PEOPLE HAVE GOT TO
HANG TOUGH FOR THE GOOD THING WE'VE GOT GOING HERE.
CONSTITUTIONAL DEMOCRACY. (APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: NOW WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, WE'LL BE
RIGHT BACK WITH MORE CONGRESSMAN JAMIE RASKIN, EVERYBODY.
STICK AROUND.
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK HERE WITH ONE OF THE
LEADERS ON THE JANUARY 6th IMAGINE PANEL, CONGRESSMAN JAMIE
RASKIN. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT ONE THING
WE HEARD ON THE LAST HEARING IS, I KNOW MYSELF AND MANY PEOPLE I
HAVE SPOKEN TO WHO WATCHED IT WERE AFFECTED, EMOTIONALLY
AFFECTED BY LEARNING THAT THE SECRET SERVICE WANTED TO
CONTACT, WAS TRYING TO CONTACT THEIR FAMILIES TO SAY GOOD-BYE
BECAUSE THEY FEARED FOR THEIR OWN LIVES.
YOU GUYS HAD THIS INFORMATION LONG BEFORE WE DO, WHAT WAS THE
AFFECT OR WERE YOU AFFECTED THE WAY WE WERE BY HEARING THAT
INFORMATION. >> WELL, ACTUALLY, NONE OF US
WERE SURPRISED BECAUSE THE EXACT STAIM THING WAS GOING ON ON THE
HOUSE FLOOR. EVERYBODY WAS CALLING THEIR
SPOUSES, THEIR KIDS, THEIR PARENTS SO SAY GOOD-BYE.
ALL OF US HAD ASSUMED IF ONE PERSON HAD SHOW GOTTEN TO THE
CAPITOL AND HAD ELUDED THE SECURITY THAT WE HAVE WITHOUT A
BACKGROUND SCREENING, WITHOUT GOING THROUGH METAL DETECTORS,
THAT PERSON WOULD BE SMOT ON-SITE, BUT INSTEAD WE HAD
HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE DESCEND UPON THE CAPITOL AND MOST PEOPLE WERE
CONVINCED SOMEBODY WITH TAKE OUT AN AR-15.
AND WE HAD DEMOCRATIC COLLEAGUES UP IN THE GALLERY WHO CRAWLED
OVER TO THE REPUBLICAN SIDE BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT THEY WOULD
BE SAFER OVER THERE. THAT NIGHT, IF A GUNMAN SHOWED
UP PEOPLE WERE TAKING OFF THE PINS WE HAVE STO GET US IN THE
BUILDING SO WE WOULDN'T BE RECOGNIZED.
WHEN WE HEARD THAT THE SECRET SERVICE MEN AND WOMEN WERE
CALLING THEIR FAMILIES, ALL OF US DID BECAUSE THE SAME THING
WAS HAPPENING. HI MY DAUGHTER AND SON-IN-LAW
WITH ME THAT NIGHT. AND IT WAS AN OBJECTIVELY
TERRIFYING SITUATION. >> Stephen: WHEN DID Y'ALL
FIND THE FOOTAGE OF JOSH HUH LeTAMPERING WITH THE FOREST
CREATURE OF THE-- . >> THERE IS LOTS MORE WHERE THAT
CAME FROM. >> Stephen: I THINK AMERICA IS
CRYING FOR A SEQUEL THERE. >> YOU KNOW, THE THING THAT GETS
ME AND THE REASON THAT I FELT-- THERE WERE PEOPLE WHO
WERE EGGING-- 7-- STORMING THE U.S. CAPITOL.
AND (APPLAUSE)
THEN LATER DENYING THE WHOLE THING, MINIMIZING, DONALD TRUMP
HAS GIVEN THEM-- ORDERS WHEN HE SAID OH, YOU KNOW, HIS CROWD
GREETED THE POLICE OFFICERS WITH HUGS AND KISSES WHICH IS
PRESUMABLY HOW 150 OF THEM ENDED UP WOUNDED, INJURED IN THE
HOSPITAL WITH BROKEN ARMS, LEGS, CONFUSION-- CON TEUTION,
CONCUSSIONS, TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURIES, AND NOW POST TRAUMATIC
STRESS SYNDROME. I MEAN THIS IS REAL LIFE AND FOR
DONALD TRUMP IT'S A BIG JOKE. >> Stephen: NOW THE SECRET
SERVICE CANNOT FIND THEIR TEXT TO EACH OTHER AND THEY SENT ONE
TEXT, WHICH ALMOST SEEMS LIKE [BLEEP] YOU.
IF YOU WILL PARDON THE EXPRESSION.
IT IS INSULTING TO SEND ONE TEXT.
>> WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU GOT ONE TEXT IN A DAY.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY. >> THE SECRET SERVICE SAID OH
YEAH, BIG MISTAKE, OOPSY DAISY, WE CAN'T FIND THEM.
DO YOU BUY THEIR EXPLANATION AT ALL.
>> IS IT FOR SALE? I DON'T-- I DON'T REALLY BUY
THAT FOR ONE MINUTE. BUT ONE THING, ISN'T IT A LITTLE
ODD THAT ALL OF THE TEXTS WOULD VANISH FOR JANUARY 6th AND
JANUARY 5th. OF ALL THE DAYS, WHAT AN ODD
COINCIDENCE THAT IS. AND YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A
PREPLANNED MIGRATION OF THE PHONES THAT JUST HAPPENED TO BE
ON THE SAME DAY AS THE FIRST VIOLENT INSURRECTION IN AMERICAN
HISTORY? SO I AM A LITTLE DUBIOUS OF
THAT. SO COUNT ME A SKEPTIC OF THAT.
BUT I WILL TELL YOU THIS, THAT EVERYBODY WHO HAS TRIED TO HIDE
A FACT AND HIDE THE TRUTH FROM THIS COMMITTEE HAS GOTTEN HIS OR
HER COMEUPPANCE BECAUSE THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE COMING FORWARD
TO TELL THE TRUTH ALL THE TIME. (APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: AT THE END OF THE HEARING REPRESENTATIVE CHENEY
SAID THE DAMN IS BREAKING, GIVE US A SENSE OF THE AMOUNT OF
INFORMATION YOU ARE GETTING. IS THIS A FLOOD, THE HOOVER DAM
BUSTED OPEN OR A TRICKLE SORT OF LIKE A-- .
>> WELL, WE TALKED TO HUNDREDS OF WITNESSES.
HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF WITNESSES.
WE HAVE UNHADS OF THOUSANDS OF DOCUMENTS.
THIS IS NOT ONLY THE FIRST VIOLENT INSURRECTION INCITED AND
ORGANIZED BY A PRESIDENT T IS THE FIRST ONE THAT WAS PRETTY
MUCH-- INSTANTANEOUSLY BY EVERYONE THAT WAS THERE WE HAVE
REMARKABLE DOCUMENTATION OF EXACTLY WHAT HATCHED.
THIS ISN'T EXACTLY LIKE ANING A THAT CHRIS TREE MYSTERY, WE KNOW
WHO DONE IT, FROM THE BEGINNING. BUT THE REASON IT HAS BEEN SO
GRIPPING FOR PEOPLE IS TO ACTUALLY SEE SUCH AN
EXTRAORDINARY THING UNFOLD AS A PLAN TO OVERTHROW THE WORLD'S
FIRST MODERN DEM OCTOBER SEEVMENT AND THE PEOPLE AREN'T
GOING TO HAVE IT, DONALD TRUMP WILL BE ON HIS OWN AT THE END OF
THIS. THE PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE
IT. (APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BREAK BUT WE'LL BE RIGHT
BACK WITH MORE CONGRESSMAN JAMIE RASKIN, EVERYBODY.
>> Stephen: HEY EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK HERE WITH CONGRESSMAN
JAMIE RASKIN. AS A CONSTITUTIONAL SCHOLAR, YOU
TAUGHT CONSTITUTIONAL LAW FOR A LONG TIME.
WHY DO YOU THINK IT IS SO HARD TO HOLD THIS ONE OBVIOUSLY
GUILTY MAN ACCOUNTABLE GIVEN THAT ARE YOU ALSO AN
IMPEACHMENT-- LEADER OF THE SECOND IMPEACHMENT.
DID THE FOUNDERS SHANK IT IN HOW THEY SET UP THE CHECKS AND
BALANCES. OR ARE THE OTHER BRANCHES
SHANKING IT RIGHT NOW OUT OF FEEFER?
>> NO I THINK HE'S GOOD AT WHAT HE DOES.
I MEAN ES REAL ESTATE FROM THIS CITY.
HE'S FROM NEW YORK. AND HE'S BEEN A CONMAN AND AN
OPERATOR FOR A LONG TIME. AND HE OPERATES LIKE THE BEST OF
THE CRIME BOSSES WHICH IS HE ALWAYS INSULATES HIMSELF WITH
SEVERAL LAYERS OF LAWYER AND MONEY AND FLUNKIES BETWEEN
HIMSELF AND THAT WHICH HE ORDERS TO BE DONE.
SO YOU KNOW, YOU CAN LOOK AT SO MANY THINGS, TRUMP UNIVERSE AND
YOU CAN LOOK AT ALL THE ALLEGATIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULTS
AND SEXUAL HARASSMENT. IT IS AMAZING, HE IS LIKE HUGH
DIN HE-- HOUDINI THE WAY HE GETS OUT OF IT.
BUT I THINK HE MET HIS MATCH WITH BENNY THOMPSON, LIZ CHENEY
AND THE JANUARY 6th COMMITTEE.
(APPLAUSE) MANY PEOPLE ARE FRUSTRATED WITH
THE SPEED AT WHICH MER RICK GARLAND IS BRINGING CHARGES,
EVEN BASED UPON THE CRIMINAL REFERRALS GIVEN BY THE JANUARY
6th COMMITTEE. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MERRICK
GARLAND SAY NOTHING PERSON IS ABOVE THE LAW.
WE DON'T MAKE OUR INVESTIGATIONS PUBLIC AND WE HAVE TO GET THIS
RIGHT. HOW DO YOU INTERPRET THAT.
>> I AGREE WITH ALL OF THAT. I SHOULD START BY SAYING MERRICK
GARLAND IS MY CONSTITUENT AND I DON'T BROWBEAT MY CONSTITUENTS.
SO YOU KNOW. >> EVERY VOTE COUNTS.
>> EVERY VOTE COUNTS INDEED, THIS IS THE SEASON TO REMEMBER
THAT. LOOK, THEY HAVE MORE THAN 850
CASES ALREADY FOR ASSAULTING FEDERAL OFFICERS, FOR DESTROYING
FEDERAL PROPERTY. FOR REFUSING TO LEAVE, FOR
SEDITIOUS CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT.
I KNOW EVERYBODY IS IMPATIENT BECAUSE THEY WANT TO SEE IT GO
ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP. BUT THIS ST HOW ORGANIZATIONED
CRIME INVESTIGATIONS WORK. YOU START AT THE BOTTOM WITH THE
LITTLE FISH AND YOU KEEP FLIPPING PEOPLE UNTIL YOU GETS
UP TO THE STOP. AND IF YOU ARE WITH DR. KING,
YOU KNOW, THE ARC OF THE MORAL UNIVERSE IS LONG BUT IT BENDS
TOWARDS JUSTICE AND DONALD TRUMP SHOULD REMEMBER THAT.
(APPLAUSE). >> Stephen: I WANT IT A LITTLE
BEND YER I WANT IT A LITTLE BEND YER IF IT IS OKAY WITH ME ASKING
YOU ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE AND YOUR FAMILY, YOU EXPERIENCED,
YOUR WHOLE FARYDGES YOU AND YOUR FAMILY EXPERIENCED DEEP
SUFFERING IN THE WINTER AFTER THE ELECTION, AND BEFORE JANUARY
6th. THE LOSS OF YOUR SON TOM.
AND A WEEK LATER THE INSURRECTION.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN SAID THAT WHICH HURTS CONSTRUCTS AND I'M
WONDERING HOW YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AND THE SEEMING
SUFFERING THAT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY HAVE GONE THROUGH HAS
INSTRUCTED THE WORK THAT YOU DO ON BEHALF OF THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE? >> WELL, TOMMY RASKIN WAS A
MAGICAL YOUNG MAN. HE WAS A PLAYWRIGHT, HE WAS A
COMIC. HE WAS A STUDENT AT HARVARD LAW
SCHOOL. HE IS A GREAT POET, HE WAS A
PASSIONATE VEGAN WHO CONVERTED MORE PEOPLE TO NOT EATING MEAT
THAN ANYBODY I EVER MET IN MY LIFE.
AND HE WANTED A LOT MORE FROM DEMOCRACY.
NOT A LOT LESS FROM DEMOCRACY. AND SO YOU KNOW, WHEN SPEAKER
PELOSI ASKED ME TO LEAD THE IMPEACHMENT TEAM OVER IN THE
SENATE, SHE KIND OF THREW ME A LFELINE AS I SEE IT.
BECAUSE I WASN'T EATING AND I WASN'T SLEEPING AND I DIDN'T
KNOW WHETHER I WOULD BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING OF VALUE EVER AGAIN
IN MY CAREER. BUT SHE BASICALLY SAID WE NEED
YOU. AND WE NEED YOU TO HELP US
RALLY. AND I HAD TOMMY IN MY HEART, THE
WHOLE TIME AND I STILL DO UNTIL WE GET THROUGH IT.
PRAWS PLAWS. >> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR BEING HERE. >> THANK YOU, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: CONGRESSMAN JAMIE RASKIN, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY DEATH CAB FOR
CUTIE.
>> Stephen: PERFORMING "HERE TO FOREVER" FROM THEIR FORTHCOMING
ALBUM, "ASPHALT MEADOWS," DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE.
♪ IN EVERY MOVIE I WATCH FROM THE '50s
♪ THERE'S ONLY ONE THOUGHT THAT SWIRLS AROUND MY HEAD NOW
♪ AND THAT'S THAT EVERYONE THERE ON THE SCREEN
♪ YEAH, EVERYONE THERE ON THE SCREEN
♪ WELL, THEY'RE ALL DEAD NOW THEY'RE ALL DEAD NOW
♪ AND IT AIN'T EASY LIVING ABOVE
♪ AND I CAN'T HELP BUT KEEP FALLING IN LOVE
♪ WITH BONES AND ASHES WITH BONES AND ASHES
♪ AND WHEN THE COLOR IS TOO BOLD AND BRIGHT
♪ I'M DAYDREAMING IN BLACK AND WHITE
♪ UNTIL IT PASSES UNTIL IT PASSES
♪ I WANNA KNOW THE MEASURE FROM HERE TO FOREVER
♪ AND I WANNA FEEL THE PRESSURE OF GOD OR WHATEVER
♪ OH, THESE DAYS IT'S SO HARD TO RELAX
♪ YOU GOTTA HOLD A GUN TO MY BACK TO MAKE ME SMILE
♪ TO MAKE ME SMILE AND THE ONLY WAY I SEEM TO COPE
IS BY TRYING TO HOLD ON TO HOPE ♪ IF JUST FOR A WHILE
IF JUST FOR A WHILE ♪ I WANNA KNOW THE MEASURE
FROM HERE TO FOREVER ♪ AND I WANNA FEEL THE PRESSURE
OF GOD OR WHATEVER ♪ NOW IT SEEMS MORE THAN EVER
THERE'S NO HANDS ON THE LEVERS ♪ AND I WANNA FEEL THE PRESSURE
OF GOD OR WHATEVER ♪ ONLY ROLLERS
KEEP ROLLING ♪ WHILE THE SEARCHERS
KEEP SCROLLING ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ I WANNA KNOW THE MEASURE FROM HERE TO FOREVER
♪ AND I WANNA FEEL THE PRESSURE OF GOD OR WHATEVER
♪ NOW IT SEEMS MORE THAN EVER THERE'S NO HANDS ON THE LEVERS
♪ AND I WANNA FEEL THE PRESSURE OF GOD OR WHATEVER
♪ OR WHATEVER ♪ ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) EVERYBODY!
THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." GOOD NIGHT.