1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:04,938 OVERNIGHT. PRESIDENT TRUMP'S ACTIONS 2 00:00:05,004 --> 00:00:05,939 LEADING UP TO THE JANUARY 6 RIOT ARE NOW UNDER CRIMINAL 3 00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:11,044 INVESTIGATION BY THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE. 4 00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:12,879 >> IMAGINE IF YOU AND I WERE TO DISCUSS TODAY THAT BARACK OBAMA 5 00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:17,784 WAS UNDER CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION. 6 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:18,785 WE'D GO, LIKE, WHAT? THAT'S JUST-- IT'S 7 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,020 INCONCEIVABLE. >> FORMER PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA 8 00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:23,089 HAS RELEASED HIS YEARLY SUMMER READING AND MUSIC PLAYLIST. 9 00:00:28,027 --> 00:00:31,064 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR 10 00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:35,034 AGAIN FOR PRESIDENT OBAMA'S 2022 SUMMER PLAYLIST. 11 00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:36,970 THIS TRACK LIST IS PERFECT FOR A DAY AT THE BEACH, AND CERTAINLY 12 00:00:37,036 --> 00:00:40,974 WASN'T CAREFULLY CRAFTED SO THAT THE SONGS, WHEN READ TOP TO 13 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,876 BOTTOM, WOULD TAUNT ANOTHER FORMER PRESIDENT. 14 00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:44,944 ENJOY HITS LIKE: 15 00:01:00,493 --> 00:01:02,996 SURE, THIS PLAYLIST SEEMS TO CONTAIN GROUPS OF WORDS THAT 16 00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:07,000 CONVEY COMPLETE THOUGHTS BUT, TECHNICALLY, IT'S JUST RANDOMLY 17 00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:09,068 ORDERED SONGS SUCH AS: 18 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:26,986 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 19 00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:30,957 TONIGHT: PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: 20 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:36,963 AMANDA SEYFRIED AND STEPHEN MERCHANT 21 00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,731 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN. 22 00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:45,205 WITH SPECIAL GUEST ST. VINCENT. 23 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,973 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE 24 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,610 ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 25 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:56,583 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 26 00:01:56,649 --> 00:02:10,129 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 27 00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:18,438 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Audience: STEPHEN! 28 00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:19,606 STEPHEN! STEPHEN! 29 00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:20,940 >> Stephen: PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY. 30 00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:23,776 DOWN HERE, UP THERE, EVERYBODY OUT THERE, AND OF COURSE ALL MY 31 00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:29,983 VIEWERS IN JAPAN, WELCOME TO "LATE SHOW"." 32 00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:33,186 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. AND I AM FEELING LUCKY BECAUSE 33 00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:38,157 NOBODY WON LAST NIGHT, SO THE MEGA MILLIONS LOTTO JACKPOT IS 34 00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:40,927 OVER $1 BILLION. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 35 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:50,069 THAT'S "BILLION" WITH A CAPITAL "N" ON THE END. 36 00:02:50,136 --> 00:02:54,140 A BILLION DOLLARS. THINK OF WHAT YOU COULD BUY WITH 37 00:02:54,207 --> 00:03:00,346 ALL THAT MONEY: A MANSION, A YACHT, A TANK OF GAS-- NOT 38 00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:06,152 PREMIUM, BUT A TANK OF GAS. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVEN'T 39 00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:09,222 CHECKED YET, YOU LOST. ( LAUGHTER ) 40 00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:20,967 ( APPLAUSE ) 7, 29, 60, 63, 66, WITH A MEGA 41 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:25,772 BALL OF 15. BY THE WAY, IF I WIN, I'M 42 00:03:25,838 --> 00:03:32,579 DONATING HALF OF MY MONEY TO FIND A CURE FOR MEGA BALL. 43 00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:35,815 COURAGE. I HAVE A VERY GOOD CHANCE, 44 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,050 BECAUSE I'M VERY GOOD AT PICKING NUMBERS. 45 00:03:37,116 --> 00:03:42,155 OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD: 17, 36, 54-- I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY-- 46 00:03:42,221 --> 00:03:44,924 12, 8. ( LAUGHTER ) 47 00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:50,697 THOSE NUMBERS, AND IF A VIEWER WINS USING ANY OF THOSE NUMBERS, 48 00:03:50,763 --> 00:03:54,167 IN ANY COMBINATION, I THINK IT'S ONLY FAIR THAT WE 49 00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:57,203 SPLIT THE PRIZE. EXPERTS SAY-- EXPERTS SAY-- 50 00:03:57,270 --> 00:04:10,149 ( APPLAUSE ) EXPERTS SAY THAT THE CHANCES OF 51 00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:11,951 ANY OF US WINNING ACTUALLY ANY OF THE MEGA MILLIONS ARE 52 00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:14,153 ASTRONOMICALLY SMALL. THEY'RE ABOUT THE SAME AS, I 53 00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:16,155 DON'T KNOW, GETTING HIT BY DEBRIS FROM THE MASSIVE CHINESE 54 00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:17,590 BOOSTER ROCKET THAT COULD FALL TO EARTH EARLY NEXT WEEK. 55 00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:20,560 THAT'S RIGHT, ALL NEXT WEEK THE FORECAST IS PARTLY CLOUDY WITH A 56 00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:24,297 CHANCE OF FIERY DEATH. ( LAUGHTER ) 57 00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:31,237 COMES FROM THE 23-TON "LONG MARCH 5B" ROCKET, WHICH 58 00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:34,140 DELIVERED A MODULE TO THE CHINESE SPACE STATION AND IS NOW 59 00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:37,844 IN AN UNCONTROLLED DESCENT. ALSO THE TITLE OF RUDY 60 00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:38,578 GIULIANI'S MEMOIR. ( LAUGHTER ) 61 00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:42,915 THE-- ( CHEERING ) 62 00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:52,659 THIS PLUNGING DEATH DEBRIS PUTS EARTHLINGS AT RISK OF BEING HIT 63 00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:56,062 BY FALLING SPACE JUNK. SPACE JUNK, O COURSE, ALSO THE 64 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,430 NAME OF THE PORN VERSION OF "STAR WARS." 65 00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:06,139 HAN SHOOTS FIRST. ( LAUGHTER ) 66 00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:14,814 ALSO THE SEQUEL TO "MEGABALL." SPEAKING OF THE FINAL FRONTIER, 67 00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:17,283 YESTERDAY, RUSSIA SAID IT IS PLANNING TO PULL OUT OF THE 68 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:20,586 INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION. COME ON, RUSSIA. 69 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,422 NOT ONLY IS THAT NOT COOL, BUT PULLING OUT OF THE SPACE 70 00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:26,559 STATION IS NOTORIOUSLY UNRELIABLE. 71 00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:31,197 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 72 00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:37,603 DIRTY MONOLOGUE TONIGHT. SO SORRY. 73 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:42,709 RUSSIA ALSO ANNOUNCED THAT IT WILL BEGIN TO BUILD ITS OWN 74 00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:46,145 SPACE STATION AFTER 2024. THEY RELEASED THE DESIGN AND, NO 75 00:05:46,212 --> 00:05:49,982 SURPRISE, THE NEW RUSSIAN SPACE STATION IS POTATO. 76 00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:56,222 ( LAUGHTER ) ANYWAY, BYE RUSSKIES! 77 00:05:56,289 --> 00:06:01,728 DON'T LET THE AIRLOCK HIT YA WHERE THE GOOD LORD SPLIT YA! 78 00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:11,938 BACK EARTH SIDE, THERE'S BAD NEWS FOR FORMER PRESIDENT 79 00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:13,773 KERMIT THE FRAUD. TURNS OUT THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT 80 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:14,907 IS INVESTIGATING THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S ACTIONS IN THEIR 81 00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:18,878 JANUARY 6 CRIMINAL PROBE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 82 00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:24,917 OH, SHUCKY DUCKY! IT IS ABOUT DAMN TIME. 83 00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:27,253 AT THIS POINT, THE INVESTIGATORS ARE LIKE THE LAST PERSON AT THE 84 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,454 OFFICE TO CATCH ON TO A POPULAR TV SHOW: 85 00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:32,492 "SO GET THIS, GUYS. THERE ARE DRAGONS, BUT THEY 86 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,494 HARDLY EVER SHOW THEM. THERE'S LOTS OF NUDITY. 87 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:40,900 I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE 'RED WEDDING' EPISODE. 88 00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:42,902 I'M SO HAPPY FOR ROB STARK. HE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE. 89 00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:44,904 EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY'S GOING TO BE THERE!" 90 00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:48,841 ACCORDING TO PEOPLE FAMILIAR WITH THE INVESTIGATION, THEY'RE 91 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:52,478 PURSUING TWO POTENTIAL CRIMES. THE FIRST CENTERS ON SEDITIOUS 92 00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:54,947 CONSPIRACY AND CONSPIRACY TO OBSTRUCT A GOVERNMENT 93 00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:59,085 PROCEEDING. THE SECOND IS POTENTIAL FRAUD 94 00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,486 ASSOCIATED WITH THE FALSE-ELECTORS SCHEME. 95 00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:11,697 "POTENTIAL" FRAUD? ( LAUGHTER ) 96 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,466 SCHEME." YOU DON'T CALL SOMETHING A 97 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,835 "SCHEME" AND "FALSE" IF IT'S ON THE LEVEL. 98 00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,069 NO ONE'S EVER SAID, "BARBARA, ACCEPT THIS RING, AND I PROMISE 99 00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,705 TO LOVE YOU FOREVER, AS PART OF MY 'FALSE MARRIAGE SCHEME.'" 100 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:26,746 ( LAUGHTER ) I AM-- AS PART OF-- 101 00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:29,715 I AM POTENTIALLY VERY EXCITED, BECAUSE ALL OF THIS IS 102 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:33,653 POTENTIALLY HUGE BECAUSE NO FORMER PRESIDENT HAS EVER BEEN 103 00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:35,588 CHARGED WITH A CRIME IN THE COUNTRY'S HISTORY. 104 00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:39,892 SO WHAT? BEFORE JOHN WAYNE GACY, NO ONE 105 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,695 EVER EXECUTED A BIRTHDAY CLOWN ( LAUGHTER ) 106 00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:50,937 BUT IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. 107 00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:54,340 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT EXECUTION, BUT CONFIDENTIAL ARREST. 108 00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,776 IN THE END, THE DECISION TO CHARGE THE FORMER PRESIDENT WILL 109 00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,578 FALL TO ATTORNEY GENERAL MERRICK GARLAND, SEEN HERE LISTENING TO 110 00:07:58,644 --> 00:07:59,779 NEIL GORSUCH TALK ABOUT HOW FUN IT IS TO BE ON THE SUPREME 111 00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:03,549 COURT. ( LAUGHTER ) 112 00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:11,624 LAST NIGHT WITH NBC'S LESTER HOLT AND MADE IT CLEAR HE IS 113 00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:15,328 READY TO HOLD THE FORMER PRESIDENT ACCOUNTABLE IF THAT'S 114 00:08:15,394 --> 00:08:17,730 WHERE THE INVESTIGATION LEADS. >> LOOK, WE PURSUE JUSTICE 115 00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:22,368 WITHOUT FEAR OR FAVOR. WE INTEND TO HOLD EVERYONE, 116 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:29,775 ANYONE WHO IS CRIMINALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE EVENTS 117 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:32,311 SURROUNDING JANUARY 6, FOR ANY ATTEMPT TO INTERFERE WITH THE 118 00:08:32,378 --> 00:08:33,579 LAWFUL TRANSFER OF POWER FROM ONE ADMINISTRATION TO ANOTHER 119 00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:39,318 ACCOUNTABLE. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. 120 00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:43,289 >> Stephen: OKAY, THAT SOUNDS RIGHT. 121 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,625 QUICK FOLLOW-UP: DID SOMEONE SHRINK MERRICK GARLAND? 122 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:46,893 BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE HE SHOULD BE ADMINISTRATING JUSTICE FROM 123 00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:49,528 INSIDE A HOLLOW TREE. ( LAUGHTER ) 124 00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:58,704 THERE'S-- OR LESTER HOLT. OR IT'S LESTER HULK, I'M NOT 125 00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:02,074 SURE. OH, THERE'S GOOD NEWS OUT OF THE 126 00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:03,242 CURRENT WHITE HOUSE, BECAUSE AFTER COMING DOWN WITH COVID 127 00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:08,547 LAST WEEK, THIS MORNING, PRESIDENT BIDEN TESTED NEGATIVE 128 00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:16,889 AND PROVED IT WITH THIS PHOTO OF A NEGATIVE TEST AND THE CAPTION, 129 00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:18,090 "BACK TO THE OVAL. THANKS TO THE DOC FOR THE 130 00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:21,761 GOOD CARE, AND TO ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT." 131 00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:27,900 YEAH, THANKS TO DOC, BIDEN IS NO LONGER GRUMPY AND SNEEZY. 132 00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:30,369 THOUGH HE REMAINS HAPPY AND SLEEPY. 133 00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:37,810 ( LAUGHTER ) THE ROSE GARDEN, WHERE HE GAVE A 134 00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,078 SPEECH: >> AS I WAS WALKING OUT, I 135 00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:42,281 THOUGHT I HEARD A RUMBLING IN MY STAFF SAYING, "OH, HE'S BACK." 136 00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:48,387 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU ARE THE OLDEST 137 00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:50,289 PRESIDENT EVER WHO CAUGHT THE PANDEMIC. 138 00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:54,527 THANK YOU FOR STICKING AROUND! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 139 00:09:54,593 --> 00:09:58,297 REED, DID HE? DIDN'T HAVE TO GO TO WALTER 140 00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:00,866 REED. THE PRESIDENT TOUTED ONE OF THE 141 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:07,473 PHARMACEUTICAL BREAKTHROUGHS THAT HELPED HIM RECOVER AND DID 142 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:08,941 SO IN A CLASSIC BIDEN WAY: >> MILLIONS OF AMERICANS HAVE 143 00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:15,881 USED PAXLIVOID-- PAXLOVID, EXCUSE ME, PAXLOVID. 144 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,984 I TELL YOU WHAT, I THINK IT'S-- I USED IT. 145 00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:23,289 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: "HA-HA-HA. 146 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:28,160 I TELL YOU, I GOT YOU. I TOOK ME SOME PAX-LO-VOID, OR 147 00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:32,465 PLAXYVID, OR PLATYPUS-POLISH. I TOOK IT. 148 00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:34,900 POINT IS, THAT LIL' PILL KNOCKED THE CLOVIS RIGHT OUTTA 149 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:42,641 MY OL' BREADBASKET. NOW I'M EASY-BREASY BREATHIN' 150 00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:45,911 HA-HA-HA. WHERE AM I?" 151 00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:50,282 MARCO! MARCO! 152 00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:55,588 ( APPLAUSE ) PRESCRIPTION. 153 00:10:55,654 --> 00:10:59,692 ( LAUGHTER ) BIDEN'S CLEAN BILL OF HEALT 154 00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:08,434 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) COULDN'T COME AT A BETTER TIME, 155 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,302 BECAUSE AIDES SAY THE PRESIDENT SPENT THE WEEKEND GOING 156 00:11:10,369 --> 00:11:14,240 STIR-CRAZY FROM THE ISOLATION AND FIGHTING CABIN FEVER. 157 00:11:14,306 --> 00:11:21,747 AIDES WORKED TO KEEP THE PRESIDENT ENTERTAINED ON 158 00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:23,015 LOCATION,s SETTING HIM UP WITH 159 00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:24,483 A WHOLE CART OF VIDEO EQUIPMENT, PHONE CALLS FROM THE GRANDKIDS, 160 00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:26,419 AND A STACK OF BOOKS ABOUT IRELAND. 161 00:11:26,485 --> 00:11:29,588 WHEN THAT DIDN'T WORK, THEY TRIED EVERYTHING JOE LIKES: 162 00:11:29,655 --> 00:11:31,624 A PILE OF OLD TRAIN SCHEDULES, THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF TAFFY, A 163 00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:36,595 "READERS' DIGEST" FROM 1952, A POST-IT NOTE THAT JUST 164 00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:38,297 SAID "DELAWARE." ( LAUGHTER ) 165 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:42,835 NOW THAT THE PRESIDENT'S OVER COVID, HE CAN HAPPILY SKIP TO 166 00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:45,438 WORK WITH A SPRING IN HIS STEP, AND GET ABSOLUTELY NUT-PUNCHED 167 00:11:45,504 --> 00:11:50,476 BY HIS APPROVAL RATINGS. BECAUSE THE LATEST CNN POLL 168 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:54,246 FOUND 5% OF DEMOCRATIC VOTERS WANT SOMEONE OTHER THAN BIDEN TO 169 00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:58,884 RUN IN 2024. 75%! 170 00:11:58,951 --> 00:12:02,288 THAT'S THREE OUT OF FOUR DEMOCRATS! 171 00:12:02,354 --> 00:12:06,292 AND I'M BEING TOLD THAT WE HAVE A PICTURE OF THOSE THREE 172 00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:08,894 DEMOCRATS. WOW. 173 00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:12,264 THAT'S NOT KAMALA HARRIS. BIDEN'S NUMBERS ARE FALLIN' OFF 174 00:12:12,331 --> 00:12:14,066 A CLIFF. AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR, 175 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:18,003 ONLY 51% OF DEMOCRATS SAID THEY WANTED SOMEONE OTHER THAN BIDEN. 176 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,473 AH, THE GOOD OLD DAYS, WHEN ONLY HALF OF HIS BUDDIES WANTED TO 177 00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:22,308 TAKE AWAY GRANDPA'S LAUNCH CODES. 178 00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:26,912 ( LAUGHTER ) PRESIDENT, BUT NOTHING CAN BE 179 00:12:26,979 --> 00:12:30,049 WORSE THAN WHAT'S HAPPENING IN BIDEN'S HOMETOWN OF SCRANTON, 180 00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:35,521 WHERE THOSE SAYING THEY VIEW BIDEN "VERY UNFAVORABLY" 181 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,691 INCREASED FROM 28% TO 46%. C'MON, SCRANTON! 182 00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:42,962 WHAT DO GUYS YOU WANT FROM HIM? HE MENTIONED YOU IN EVERY DAMN 183 00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:46,398 STORY HE TELLS! IS THIS HOW SCRANTON TREATS ALL 184 00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:59,478 THEIR HOMETOWN CELEBRITIES? WATCH YOUR BACK... 185 00:12:59,545 --> 00:13:07,520 SILENT FILM STAR WANDA HAWLEY. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 186 00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:08,554 TONIGHT. MY GUESTS ARE AMANDA SEYFRIED 187 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:12,191 AND STEPHEN MERCHANT. STICK AROUND. 188 00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,260 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 189 00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:53,966 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK, 190 00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,135 EVERYBODY. GIVE IT UP FOR ST. VINCENT AND 191 00:13:56,202 --> 00:14:00,639 LOUIS CATO WITH EVERYBODY IN STAY HUMAN RIGHT OVER THERE. 192 00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:04,877 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). LOUIS. 193 00:14:04,944 --> 00:14:09,982 >> Louis: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. >> Stephen: YUP. 194 00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:12,985 THAT SOUNDED AMAZING. LOUIS, TONIGHT, TONIGHT IN JUST 195 00:14:13,052 --> 00:14:18,424 A MOMENT WE WILL HAVE AMANDA SEYFRIED OUT HERE IN JUST ONE 196 00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:23,128 MOMENT, A WONDERFUL ACTRESS. AND THE FANTASTIC COMEDIAN 197 00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:26,165 STEPHAN MERCHANT WILL BE OUT HERE. 198 00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:28,667 BENEFIT WE GET TO THAT ST. VINCENT, LET ME CHECK IN WITH 199 00:14:28,734 --> 00:14:31,337 YOU FOR JUST A SECOND HERE. I KNOW THIS, BUT PEOPLE MIGHT 200 00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:34,974 NOT KNOW, YOU ARE A PROUD DAUGHTER OF DALLAS, IS THIS NOT 201 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,842 TRUE? >> I AM, IN FACT, FROM DALLAS, 202 00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:38,344 TEXAS, YES. >> Stephen: DO YOU GET BACK 203 00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,479 THERE OFTEN? >> ALL THE TIME. 204 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,348 MY FAMILY'S THERE. >> Stephen: WOW, OKAY. 205 00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:45,651 SELL ME ON DALLAS. BECAUSE I'VE NEVER BEEN TO 206 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,620 DALLAS. IS IT THE BRISKET? 207 00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:49,855 IS IT THE COWBOYS? WHAT SHOULD I LOOK FORWARD TO 208 00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:52,458 THE MOST? >> WELL, I FIND WHENEVER I TELL 209 00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:56,128 PEOPLE I'M FROM DALLAS, THEY SAY, "OH, I LOVE AUSTIN. 210 00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:59,031 THE. ( LAUGHTER ) 211 00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:03,002 >> Stephen: HOW DOES-- HOW DOES DALLAS FEEL ABOUT, LIKE, 212 00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:05,638 THE OTHER, LIKE, WELL-KNOWN CITIES? 213 00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:10,909 ARE YOU GUYS JEALOUS OF THE ATTENTION THAT AUSTIN GETS? 214 00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:15,948 >> AH, YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S SORT OF LIKE SIBLING RIVALRY. 215 00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:20,319 LIKE, AUSTIN IS THE COOL, YOUNGEST SIBLING WHO IS, LIKE, 216 00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,321 FREE-WHEELING AND FUN. AND DALLAS IS SORT OF BUTTONED 217 00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:24,923 UP AND A LITTLE -- >> Stephen: AND HOUSTON IS THE 218 00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:27,860 TROUBLED MIDDLE DISMIELD # ( LAUGHTER ) 219 00:15:27,926 --> 00:15:32,031 >> Stephen: YOU FOLLOW THE COWBOYS? 220 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:35,034 >> I DID IN 1994. SO, YEAH. 221 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,869 >> Stephen: QUALITY YEAR, QUALITY YEAR. 222 00:15:36,935 --> 00:15:40,639 HAVE YOU EVER SUNG THE NATIONAL ANTHEM AT A COWBOY'S GAME? 223 00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:43,742 >> NO, BUT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO. >> Stephen: AND THEY HAVE YET 224 00:15:43,809 --> 00:15:46,779 TO TAKE YOU UP ON YOUR OFFER? >> THEY HAVE NEVER TAKEN ME UP 225 00:15:46,845 --> 00:15:49,815 ON MY OFFER. >> Stephen: COWBOYS, RIGHT 226 00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:53,719 OVER HERE. COWBOYS, COWBOYS, YOU'RE PASSING 227 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,889 UP AN ENORMOUS OPPORTUNITY HERE. YOU CAN SAVE MONEY BECAUSE SHE 228 00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:58,590 CAN ACCOMPANY HERSELF ON THE GUITAR. 229 00:15:58,657 --> 00:16:07,333 ( APPLAUSE ) THIS, SHE'S GOING TO GO OFF AND 230 00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:10,169 SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM FOR WHATEVER AUSTIN'S FOOTBALL TEAM 231 00:16:10,235 --> 00:16:11,603 IS. ( LAUGHTER ) 232 00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:16,742 PERFORMANCE BY LOUIS CATO AND STAY HUMAN LATER IN THE SHOW, SO 233 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,777 STICK AROUND FOR THAT. ( APPLAUSE ) 234 00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:25,017 PROBABLY RUNNING OUT OF TIME HERE, AREN'T WE? 235 00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:29,388 WE'RE PROBABLY RUNNING OUT OF TIME FOR THE DAMN SECOND ACT, 236 00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:32,224 ESPECIALLY ALL THE TIME I'M TAKING ASKING YOU IF WE'RE OUT 237 00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:37,229 OF TIME, MY BROTHER IN LATE NIGHT SETH MYERS HAS COME DOWN 238 00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:39,832 WITH COVID AGAIN. SO THE SANDWICHES AND THE SOUP 239 00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:42,968 ARE ON THE WAY, SETH. AND STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME. 240 00:16:43,035 --> 00:16:46,772 ( LAUGHTER ) TO SAY ABOUT THAT. 241 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:52,411 BUT WITH LOVE. STAY AWAY FROM ME, WITH LOVE. 242 00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:55,447 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH AMANDA SEYFRIED, EVERYBODY. 243 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:56,014 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 244 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:23,909 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT FROM 245 00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:26,078 "MAMMA MIA," "MANK," AND "MEAN GIRLS." 246 00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:28,514 NOW SHE'S EMMY NOMINATED FOR HER STARRING ROLE IN "THE DROPOUT." 247 00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:30,582 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," AMANDA SEYFRIED. 248 00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:49,535 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 249 00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:52,438 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 250 00:17:52,504 --> 00:18:01,880 >> Stephen: NICE. >> WHAT DO YOU PAY THEM? 251 00:18:01,947 --> 00:18:03,282 >> Stephen: WHAT? >> NOTHING. 252 00:18:03,348 --> 00:18:04,716 >> Stephen: HEY, NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 253 00:18:04,783 --> 00:18:08,086 >> HOW'S IT GOING? THANKS. 254 00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:14,426 >> Stephen: HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? >> I'M FEELING GREAT RIGHT NOW. 255 00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:16,161 I'VE BEEN HERE. >> Stephen: "HERE?" 256 00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:17,362 >> IN THE CITY. >> Stephen: THAT'S NICE. 257 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:20,466 YOU SPLIT YOUR TIME BETWEEN THE GLAMOUR OF THE BIG APPLE, 258 00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:21,934 HOLLYWOOD, AND EVERYTHING AND A FARM UPSTATE, RIGHT? 259 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,670 >> YEAH. IT'S-- IT'S THE DREAM. 260 00:18:24,736 --> 00:18:30,709 IT'S HOW I STAY HEALTHY EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY HEALTHY. 261 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,444 >> Stephen: UH-HUH, UH-HUH. >> SO FAR. 262 00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:37,549 >> Stephen: THIS IS A PHOTO-- THIS IS A FEETO OF YOU ON THE 263 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,684 FARM. >> YUP. 264 00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:40,686 >> Stephen: THAT'S YOU. >> AND I MADE ALL THE ANIMALS 265 00:18:40,752 --> 00:18:42,120 POSE. >> Stephen: CAN YOU GET IN A 266 00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:44,122 LITTLE CLOSER. GET IN A LITTLE CLOSER. 267 00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:46,592 >> DO YOU SEE? I MADE THEM ALL POSE. 268 00:18:46,658 --> 00:18:48,660 >> Stephen: LIKE THAT. ( APPLAUSE ) 269 00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:57,169 LIKE A. PRESS PHOTO FOR AN A24 HORROR 270 00:18:57,236 --> 00:18:59,371 MOVIE ABOUT A WITCH WHO HAS CHICKENS. 271 00:18:59,438 --> 00:19:01,573 >> I THINK THAT WAS-- I THINK THAT WAS WHAT SHE WAS GOING FOR. 272 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:02,708 >> Stephen: I WOULD WATCH THAT. 273 00:19:02,774 --> 00:19:06,245 I WOULD WATCH THAT MOVIE. >> IT WAS THE BEST PRESENT. 274 00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:08,447 PHOTO SHOP. OF COURSE YOU CAN'T GET THE 275 00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:11,650 CHICKENS TO STAY IN ONE PLACE. BUT EVERYBODY ELSE WAS GAME. 276 00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:15,153 >> Stephen: WHAT'S HARDEST THING ABOUT FARM LIFE? 277 00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:18,390 WHAT'S THE HARDEST ANIMAL? YOU HAVE ALL KINDS OF ANIMALS. 278 00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:21,894 >> THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. THEY'RE EASY -- 279 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,896 >> Stephen: ANIMALS ARE EASY? >> SOMEWHAT. 280 00:19:23,962 --> 00:19:26,632 BUT I HAVE A REALLY HIGH-MAINTENANCE HORSE WHO HAS A 281 00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:30,869 LOT OF ALLERGIES AND HE HAS TO SEE A VISITING DERMATOLOGIST. 282 00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:34,006 >> Stephen: WOW. >> AT A PLACE, A FACILITY A HALF 283 00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:36,708 HOUR AWAY. WE TO BRING HIM FOR AN ALLERGY 284 00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:39,244 PANEL AND I JUST NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING 285 00:19:39,311 --> 00:19:41,313 LIKE THAT IN PUBLIC OR PRIVATE. >> Stephen: IS THERE ANY 286 00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:50,455 CHANCE HE HAS MODERATE TO SEVERE PLAQUE PSORIASIS? 287 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:53,625 >> WE'RE NOT SURE. WE DIDN'T GET THE BLOOD WORK 288 00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:58,597 BACK YET. >> Stephen: YOU ALMOST SLIPPED 289 00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:01,400 A LITTLE... >> YEAH, WE'RE NOT SURE... 290 00:20:01,466 --> 00:20:04,069 ( LAUGHTER ). ONE OUT BECAUSE WE LIKE TO DO 291 00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:06,705 PUBLIC SERVICE HERE. LAST IMAGE OF THE FARM. 292 00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:09,241 WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? THAT LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE-- 293 00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:11,143 >> WOULD ANYBODY LIKE TO TAKE A GUESS? 294 00:20:11,209 --> 00:20:14,179 >> Stephen: WHAT IS THIS? ANYONE KNOW WHAT THIS IS? 295 00:20:14,246 --> 00:20:16,782 ANYONE? GUESS WHAT THIS IS? 296 00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:22,955 >> NO, IT'S A TORTOISE THEME PARK. 297 00:20:23,021 --> 00:20:25,290 >> Stephen: OKAY. >> AND IT'S A SAD STORY. 298 00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:27,993 >> Stephen: OH, GOOD. >> ACTUALLY, IT IS 299 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,261 HEARTBREAKING. >> Stephen: OH, NO. 300 00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:35,267 >> THE RESIDENT NO LONGER LIVES IN THE THEME PARK THAT WAS BUILT 301 00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:36,835 FOR HIM. >> Stephen: HE DIED? 302 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:40,806 >> IT MIGHT BE A SHE, ACTUALLY. WE GOT IT RESEXED RECENTLY. 303 00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:43,775 THAT'S WHEN THE VET-- IT'S A TORTOISE, A RUSSIAN TORTOISE, 304 00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:48,146 AND HE WALKED-- SHE WALKED OFF. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 305 00:20:48,213 --> 00:20:51,183 >> Stephen: SO YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THE TORTOISE IS. 306 00:20:51,249 --> 00:20:53,352 TORTOISE RAN AWAY? >> UH... 307 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:54,820 >> Stephen: HOW FAR COULD IT HAVE GOTTEN? 308 00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:57,556 >> THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. 309 00:20:57,623 --> 00:20:59,791 >> Stephen: SO THIS IS A P.S.A. RIGHT NOW. 310 00:20:59,858 --> 00:21:02,694 IF YOU HAVE SEEN-- IF YOU HAVE SEEN A TORTOISE IN THE STATE OF 311 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:06,365 NEW YORK, CONTACT AMANDA SEYFRIED, CARE OF THE ED 312 00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:10,302 SULLIVAN THEATER. >> YEAH, THANKS, GUYS. 313 00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:11,637 FRANKLIN -- >> Stephen: DOES FRANKLIN 314 00:21:11,703 --> 00:21:14,106 RESPOND TO THE NAME? >> I ACTUALLY AM NOT KIDDING. 315 00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:17,476 HE DOES. AND SO WHEN I'M-- I'M ALWAYS, 316 00:21:17,542 --> 00:21:20,712 LIKE, WALKING AROUND NOW LIKE THIS SAYING, "FRANKIE! 317 00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:26,852 COME HERE, FRANK! AND THEN MY ALMOST TWO-YEAR-OLD. 318 00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:30,088 HE'S LIKE-- IT'S HEARTBREAKING, BUT IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE I 319 00:21:30,155 --> 00:21:32,724 IMAGINE HE'S HAVING A GOOD TIME BECAUSE IT'S, LIKE, THERE'S A 320 00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:37,562 LOT OF VEGETATION, AND GROWING OPPORTUNITIES. 321 00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:40,866 ( LAUGHTER ) ABOUT IT. 322 00:21:40,932 --> 00:21:45,537 >> Stephen: DO TORTOISES BURRO? 323 00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:48,040 >> YEAH, THERE ARE LOTS OF PLACES TO BURROW IN THIS THING? 324 00:21:48,106 --> 00:21:52,210 >> I THOUGHT YOU WERE POINTING ON MY DESK. 325 00:21:52,277 --> 00:21:54,046 OH, THEY WOULD LOVE IT BACK THERE. 326 00:21:54,112 --> 00:21:56,448 >> YEAR, HE HAS BURROW OPPORTUNITIES EVERYWHERE. 327 00:21:56,515 --> 00:21:59,184 HE'S FINE. ( LAUGHTER ) 328 00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:04,523 DAUBING ABOUT YOU FOR A SECOND? >> I THOUGHT THAT WAS TALKING 329 00:22:04,589 --> 00:22:05,691 ABOUT ME? ( LAUGHTER ). 330 00:22:05,757 --> 00:22:09,761 ABOUT YOUR ANIMALS FOR A WHILE. >> THAT'S ME. 331 00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:11,496 >> Stephen: ONLY ONE MAMMAL AT A TIME. 332 00:22:11,563 --> 00:22:15,333 WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS AN EMMY NOMINEE. 333 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:16,134 CONGRATULATIONS. >> THANKS. 334 00:22:16,201 --> 00:22:17,369 THANKS SO MUCH. ( APPLAUSE ) 335 00:22:17,436 --> 00:22:22,874 PERFORMANCE AS ELIZABETH HOLMES. YOU HAVE NEVER MET HER. 336 00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:25,510 FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW, SHE WAS THE FOUNDER AND LEADER 337 00:22:25,577 --> 00:22:30,582 OF THERANOS, WHICH PURPORTED TO BE ABLE TO DISCOVER A HOST OF 338 00:22:30,649 --> 00:22:32,951 DISEASES WITH A SINGLE DROP OF BLOOD, AND IT WAS ALL BULL. 339 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:36,221 >> YEAH. >> Stephen: YOU'VE NEVER MET 340 00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,456 HER. >> NO. 341 00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:39,291 >> Stephen: BUT IF YOU COULD MEET HER, WHAT WOULD YOU WANT TO 342 00:22:39,357 --> 00:22:41,860 ASK HER? >> WELL, I MEAN, A LOT OF 343 00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:43,328 THINGS. I THINK I'D WANT TO KNOW IF SHE 344 00:22:43,395 --> 00:22:47,199 WAS CONSCIOUS OF WHEN THINGS TURNED FOR HER, WHEN SHE MADE-- 345 00:22:47,265 --> 00:22:50,736 IF THERE'S ONE SPECIFIC CHOICE SHE MADE THAT KIND OF TILTED HER 346 00:22:50,802 --> 00:22:57,542 OFF THE EDGE INTO THE ABYSS THAT IS WHERE THERANOS LIVES NOW. 347 00:22:57,609 --> 00:23:00,579 I WOULD WANT TO ASK HER THAT. AND I WOULD ALSO WANT TO KNOW 348 00:23:00,645 --> 00:23:04,149 ABOUT THE BABY BIRD SHE TALKS ABOUT IN HER TEXT MESSAGES WITH 349 00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:06,251 SUNNY. I WANT TO KNOW IF SHE HAD A BABY 350 00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:09,321 BIRD OR IF IT WAS METAPHORICAL. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A 351 00:23:09,387 --> 00:23:12,357 LITTLE BIT OF OF A BREAK, BUT YOU STAY AND YOU STAY AND WE'LL 352 00:23:12,424 --> 00:23:13,425 BE BACK WITH MORE EVERYBODY. 353 00:23:23,001 --> 00:23:27,906 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! WE'RE BACK HERE WITH OCCASIONAL 354 00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:30,976 FARMER AMANDA SEYFRIED. WE HAVE A CLIP HERE. 355 00:23:31,042 --> 00:23:33,478 CAN YOU TELL US WHAT YOU'RE DOING, WHAT ELIZABETH HOLMES IS 356 00:23:33,545 --> 00:23:36,081 DOING IN THIS CLIP? >> I'M JUST PRACTICING. 357 00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:41,953 SHE'S JUST PRACTICING HER-- A PERSONA THAT-- I DON'T MEAN TO 358 00:23:42,020 --> 00:23:48,860 CALL IT A PERSONA, LIKE, TO, YOU KNOW, DISRESPECT HOW SHE 359 00:23:48,927 --> 00:23:51,563 BEHAVED. BUT I DO THINK IT WAS LIKE A 360 00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:53,064 PERSONA. >> Stephen: I THINK IT'S OKAY 361 00:23:53,131 --> 00:23:56,101 TO DISRESPECT HOW SHE BEHAVED. >> OKAY, THANK YOU. 362 00:23:56,168 --> 00:23:59,171 >> Stephen: CERTAINLY, WHAT I LEARNED FROM AMANDA SEYFRIED'S 363 00:23:59,237 --> 00:24:02,474 PORTRAYAL OF HER, WHILE SHE WAS A HUMAN BEING, SHE WAS ACTIVELY 364 00:24:02,541 --> 00:24:04,176 DECEIVING PEOPLE. >> YEAH. 365 00:24:04,242 --> 00:24:11,917 ( LAUGHTER ) >> WE'RE DEVELOPING... NEW 366 00:24:11,983 --> 00:24:19,925 TECHNOLOGY. THIS IS AN INSPIRING STEP 367 00:24:19,991 --> 00:24:22,661 FORWARD. HERE AT THERANOS, WE ARE 368 00:24:22,727 --> 00:24:30,936 DEVELOPING NEW TECHNOLOGY ( CLEARS THROAT ) 369 00:24:31,002 --> 00:24:38,944 HERE AT THERANOS, WE ARE DEVELOPING NEW TECHNOLOGY, NEW 370 00:24:39,010 --> 00:24:45,083 TECHNOLOGY. THIS IS INSPIRING STEP FORWARD, 371 00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:47,853 FORWARD. FORWARD. 372 00:24:47,919 --> 00:24:50,222 FORWARD. THIS IS INN SPIERG. 373 00:24:50,288 --> 00:24:54,159 STEP. FORWARD. 374 00:24:54,226 --> 00:25:01,900 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S REALLY LOVELY. 375 00:25:01,967 --> 00:25:04,603 >> WE DON'T KNOW -- >> Stephen: THAT'S REALLY 376 00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:05,670 LOVELY. REALLY LOVELY. 377 00:25:05,737 --> 00:25:08,006 >> WE DON'T EVEN SHE DID THAT, BUT I THINK SHE DID. 378 00:25:08,073 --> 00:25:12,310 >> Stephen: ELIZABETH HAS THIS PAPERWEIGHT THAT'S KEY. 379 00:25:12,377 --> 00:25:15,080 HAS A FAMOUS QUOTE, WHAT, WOULD YOU ATTEMPT TO DO IF YOU KNEW 380 00:25:15,146 --> 00:25:18,850 YOU COULD NOT FAIL?" DO YOU HAVE AN ANSWER FOR THAT 381 00:25:18,917 --> 00:25:20,185 QUESTION? WHAT WOULD YOU ATTEMPT TO DO IF 382 00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:25,156 YOU KNEW YOU COULD NOT FAIL? >> I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS A 383 00:25:25,223 --> 00:25:31,663 GOOD ANSWER, BUT I WOULD LOVE-- WELL, I WOULD LIKE TO BE ABLE TO 384 00:25:31,730 --> 00:25:37,636 COMMUNICATE IN ENGLISH WITH MY ANIMALS. 385 00:25:37,702 --> 00:25:40,105 >> Stephen: LIKE DR. DOOLITTLE. 386 00:25:40,171 --> 00:25:42,540 >> YBUT THEN AGAIN. >> ATTEMPT TO DO THAT EVERY DAY. 387 00:25:42,607 --> 00:25:45,677 SO ALSO FLY. IT COULD BE NICE IF I COULD FLY 388 00:25:45,744 --> 00:25:48,613 AND NOT FAIL. >> Stephen: DID YOU KNOW-- YOU 389 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,950 SEEM TO BE COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR PONY HERE VERY WELL. 390 00:25:52,017 --> 00:25:54,085 THAT SEEMS LIKE A FORM OF COMMUNICATION. 391 00:25:54,152 --> 00:25:55,987 >> THAT'S JUST ME HOLDING HIS FACE. 392 00:25:56,054 --> 00:25:59,824 >> Stephen: DID YOU KNOW THE CHINESE ARE WORKING ON AN 393 00:25:59,891 --> 00:26:04,930 A.ESMED SYSTEM TO ALLOW YOU TO KNOW HOW CHICKENS FEEL. 394 00:26:04,996 --> 00:26:06,498 OH, NO. I SAID IT ON TV. 395 00:26:06,564 --> 00:26:09,567 WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY'RE COMING UP WITH A WAY, 396 00:26:09,634 --> 00:26:13,471 THIS A.I. FIGURES OUT HOW, BASED ON I GUESS THEIR BEHAVIOR OR 397 00:26:13,538 --> 00:26:15,774 SOUNDS OR SOMETHING, HOW YOUR CHICKENS ARE FEELING. 398 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,710 WOULD YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW YOUR CHICKEN IS FEELING? 399 00:26:18,777 --> 00:26:20,178 >> YEAH! I WOULD WANT TO KNOW -- 400 00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:23,448 >> Stephen: WHAT'S YOUR GUESS ABOUT HOW YOUR CHICKENS ARE 401 00:26:23,515 --> 00:26:25,150 FEELING RIGHT NOW, AMANDA SEYFRIED? 402 00:26:25,216 --> 00:26:29,054 >> I THINK THERE'S A LITTLE BIT STRESSED BECAUSE THE WEATHER HAS 403 00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:31,423 BEEN ERRATIC. I THINK THEY ARE HOT, BECAUSE 404 00:26:31,489 --> 00:26:33,291 THEY HAVE NOT BEEN LAYING THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS. 405 00:26:33,358 --> 00:26:36,895 >> Stephen: DOES THAT STOP THEM FROM LAYING WHEN IT'S TOO 406 00:26:36,962 --> 00:26:37,963 HOT. >> I BELIEVE. 407 00:26:38,029 --> 00:26:39,197 IT'S ABOUT WEATHER. THEY STOP LAYING EVERY SEASON 408 00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:43,368 FOR A TIME PERIOD, AND IT'S MIDSEASON, RIGHT. 409 00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:46,137 >> Stephen: SURE. >> SO THEY MUST BE HOT-- WE'RE 410 00:26:46,204 --> 00:26:47,806 ALL HOT, RIGHT. >> Stephen: I'M NOT LAYING 411 00:26:47,872 --> 00:26:50,141 RIGHT NOW. >> NO, ME, EITHER. 412 00:26:50,208 --> 00:26:52,811 I'M NEVER LAYING AGAIN. >> Stephen: WE TALKED ABOUT 413 00:26:52,877 --> 00:26:56,815 THAT THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HE WERE IS YOU RECENTLY HAD-- IS 414 00:26:56,881 --> 00:26:58,116 THIS YOUR SECOND CHILD? >> YES. 415 00:26:58,183 --> 00:27:01,353 >> Stephen: AND YOU TOLD ME IN THE INTERVIEW, TOWARD THE END 416 00:27:01,419 --> 00:27:04,789 YOU SAID, I'M TO REMIND YOU NOT TO HAVE A THIRD CHILD. 417 00:27:04,856 --> 00:27:08,193 THIS IS YOUR REMINDER. >> THANK YOU. 418 00:27:08,259 --> 00:27:16,334 ( APPLAUSE ) I HAVE TO TAIL, IT'S ABSOLUTELY 419 00:27:16,401 --> 00:27:17,202 FANTASTIC. >> FOR YOU. 420 00:27:17,268 --> 00:27:24,275 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: AMANDA, IT'S 421 00:27:24,342 --> 00:27:27,045 REALLY LOVELY TO SEE YOU. >> THANKS FOR HAVING ME. 422 00:27:27,112 --> 00:27:30,248 >> Stephen: "THE DROPOUT" IS AVAILABLE NOW ON HULU. 423 00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:30,815 AMANDA SEYFRIED, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH STEPHAN 424 00:27:57,008 --> 00:28:02,881 HEY, EVERYBODY! FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST IS AN EMMY 425 00:28:02,947 --> 00:28:04,015 AWARD-WINNING COMEDIAN WHO CREATED THE BRITISH VERSION OF 426 00:28:04,082 --> 00:28:05,850 "THE OFFICE." YOU'VE SEEN HIM IN MOVIES 427 00:28:05,917 --> 00:28:06,985 INCLUDING "HOT FUZZ," "LOGAN," AND "JOJO RABBIT." 428 00:28:07,052 --> 00:28:12,891 HIS COMEDY SERIES, "THE OUTLAWS," RETURNS NEXT WEEK FOR 429 00:28:12,957 --> 00:28:14,659 ITS SECOND SEASON. PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE 430 00:28:14,726 --> 00:28:16,728 SHOW," STEPHEN MERCHANT! ♪ ♪ ♪ 431 00:28:22,734 --> 00:28:24,736 ( APPLAUSE ) MEET A FELLOW STEPHEN. 432 00:28:42,987 --> 00:28:47,926 IT'S A "PH"RIGHT? >> ROCKING THE PH. 433 00:28:47,992 --> 00:28:52,197 >> Stephen: "V" IS LAZY. >> "V" IS COMMON. 434 00:28:52,263 --> 00:28:55,233 >> Stephen: I'M GOING TO ASK SOMETHING OBVIOUS, HOW TALL ARE 435 00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:56,968 YOU? >> 6'7". 436 00:28:57,035 --> 00:29:01,106 >> Stephen: THOSE OF US WHO AREN'T-- LIKE, I DIDN'T QUITE 437 00:29:01,172 --> 00:29:04,142 MAKE SIX FEET AND I WANTED TO SO BADLY. 438 00:29:04,209 --> 00:29:08,480 THOSE OF US WHO AREN'T IN THE 6 CLUB, WE'RE LIKE,s, WHAT'S IT 439 00:29:08,546 --> 00:29:10,582 LIKE TO BE SUPER TALL LIKE THAT?" 440 00:29:10,648 --> 00:29:12,717 WHAT'S IT LIKE? >> ONE OF THE DIFFICULTIES 441 00:29:12,784 --> 00:29:16,054 PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE, WHEN YOU'RE 6'7--" THIS IS SERIOUS-- 442 00:29:16,121 --> 00:29:20,325 I HAVE TO BUY CLOTHES FROM A SPECIALIST SHOP, A NUMBER OF 443 00:29:20,391 --> 00:29:22,527 SPECIALIST SHOPS. >> Stephen: IT SOUNDS LIKE 444 00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:26,464 YOUR CLOTHES ARE ORTHOPEDIC. >> THEY MAY AS WELL BE. 445 00:29:26,531 --> 00:29:29,834 BECAUSE THE COMPANIES KNOW YOU HAVE NO OTHER OPTIONS THEY COME 446 00:29:29,901 --> 00:29:33,771 UP WITH NAMES THAT ARE ACTUALLY INSULTING TO THE CUSTOMERS. 447 00:29:33,838 --> 00:29:37,742 I'M NOT JOKING, THIS IS A REAL COMPANY WHERE I BOUGHT THIS POLO 448 00:29:37,809 --> 00:29:39,611 SHIRT. STEPHEN, WOULD YOU READ THE NAME 449 00:29:39,677 --> 00:29:43,681 OF THE COMPANY THAT MADE THIS POLO SHIRT? 450 00:29:43,748 --> 00:29:48,786 ( LAUGHTER ). TALL." 451 00:29:48,853 --> 00:29:54,359 >> "2 TALL." >> Stephen: MIGHT AS WELL SAY, 452 00:29:54,425 --> 00:29:57,061 "YOU HAVE A PROBLEM." >> IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. 453 00:29:57,128 --> 00:30:00,765 IMAGINE IF THERE WAS A CLOTHING BRAND CALLED 2 FAT. 454 00:30:00,832 --> 00:30:08,940 IT WOULD GET RIGHTLY BANNED. 22 PAUL. 455 00:30:09,007 --> 00:30:14,512 I MAY AS WELL BUY THE JEANS FROM LANKY WANCHGER. 456 00:30:14,579 --> 00:30:17,715 IT'S LIKE I'M BUYING MY CLOTHES FROM A SCHOOL BULLY. 457 00:30:17,782 --> 00:30:21,119 >> Stephen: WHERE DID YOU GET THAT OUTFIT? 458 00:30:21,186 --> 00:30:22,820 CIRCUS FREAK. >> EXACTLY. 459 00:30:22,887 --> 00:30:26,791 I'VE NEVER BEEN-- IN A WAY 2 TALL AT LEAST IS BETTER BECAUSE 460 00:30:26,858 --> 00:30:30,428 NOW YOU CAN BUY THE CLOTHES MAIL ORDER AND SMUGGLE THEM INTO THE 461 00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:31,629 HOUSE. BUT WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, I HAD TO 462 00:30:31,696 --> 00:30:36,968 GO TO A BRICK-AND-MORTAR STORE IN THE U.K., AND THIS WAS A 463 00:30:37,035 --> 00:30:39,404 STORE CALLED "HIGH AND MIGHTY." YEAH. 464 00:30:39,470 --> 00:30:44,542 AND YOU'D GO IN THERE AND, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE 16 OR 17, AND YOU'D 465 00:30:44,609 --> 00:30:48,213 GO INTO THIS STORE AND THERE WERE REALLY THIN GUYS AND REALLY 466 00:30:48,279 --> 00:30:52,750 BIG GUYS. IT WAS LIKE SHOPPING IN A HALL 467 00:30:52,817 --> 00:30:54,752 OF MIRRORS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 468 00:30:54,819 --> 00:31:00,024 AND I REMEMBER YOU WOULD BE TO THE MALL WITH YOUR FRIEND, AND 469 00:31:00,091 --> 00:31:05,797 THEY WOULD GO INTO ABERCROMBIE AND FICH, AND I DIDN'T WANT THEM 470 00:31:05,863 --> 00:31:12,003 TON WHERE I WAS SHOPPING. "I'M OFF TO BUY SOME BALLET 471 00:31:12,070 --> 00:31:13,271 TIGHTS. YEARS LATER I DID AN VIERNT FOR 472 00:31:13,338 --> 00:31:16,474 A MAGAZINE IN THE U.K., AND THEY SAID IS THERE ANYTHING YOU DON'T 473 00:31:16,541 --> 00:31:18,643 LIKE? I SAID I DON'T LIKE THE STORE 474 00:31:18,710 --> 00:31:23,648 HIGH AND MIGHTY BECAUSE THEY SELL EXPENSIVE CLOTHES AND THATD 475 00:31:23,715 --> 00:31:27,785 THEY'RE NOT VERY NICE AND WELL MOVIE. 476 00:31:27,852 --> 00:31:32,056 THE WOMAN I'M WORKING WITH GOES TO THE CHECKOUT LADY AND SAYS 477 00:31:32,123 --> 00:31:35,960 I'M BUYING THESE CLOTHES IF THE ACTOR DOESN'T WEAR ALL OF THEM 478 00:31:36,027 --> 00:31:40,398 CAN I RETURN SOME? THE WOMAN BEHIND THE COUNTER 479 00:31:40,465 --> 00:31:44,569 SAID-- I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP-- "WHO IS THE ACTOR YOU'RE BUYING 480 00:31:44,636 --> 00:31:46,537 FOR?" AND THE WOMAN SAID, "I CAN'T 481 00:31:46,604 --> 00:31:48,206 TELL YOU." I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP. 482 00:31:48,273 --> 00:31:54,545 FROM BEHIND THE COUNTER, A LAMINATED COPY OF THE INTERVIEW, 483 00:31:54,612 --> 00:31:57,749 WHERE I HAD SLAGGED OFF THE SHOP, AND SHE HELD IT UP AND 484 00:31:57,815 --> 00:32:02,053 SAID, "IS IT HIM?" AND THE COSTUME LADY, "YEAH." 485 00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:04,956 "WE DON'T SELL TO HIM," AND SHE SLAMMED IT ON THE TABLE. 486 00:32:05,023 --> 00:32:06,824 IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE. >> Stephen: WOW! 487 00:32:06,891 --> 00:32:08,960 >> UNBELIEVABLE. I FELT LIKE I WAS ON SOME KIND 488 00:32:09,027 --> 00:32:11,529 OF REGISTER. >> Stephen: WOW. 489 00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:15,933 >> THANKFULLY THE SHOP WENT OUT OF BUSINESS IN THE END. 490 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:20,371 HERE WE ARE. >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO. 491 00:32:20,438 --> 00:32:22,507 SO YOU'RE ON NOW SEASON TWO. >> YEAH. 492 00:32:22,573 --> 00:32:28,446 >> Stephen: OF "THE OUTLAWS." RETURNS NEXT WEEK. 493 00:32:28,513 --> 00:32:31,449 YOU'RE A COCREATOR. TELL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T SEEN 494 00:32:31,516 --> 00:32:32,950 IT WHAT IS IT ABOUT? >> IT'S A SHOW ABOUT SEVEN 495 00:32:33,017 --> 00:32:35,586 PEOPLE WHO HAVE COMMITTED VARIOUS TYPES OF CRIMES AND 496 00:32:35,653 --> 00:32:38,790 THEY'RE ASSIGNED TO THE TASK OF DOING COMMUNITY SERVICE TO PAY 497 00:32:38,856 --> 00:32:40,692 BACK THE COMMUNITY. >> Stephen: SURE 498 00:32:40,758 --> 00:32:43,695 >> AND THEY FIND A BIG BAG OF MONEY, AND THEY END UP GETTING 499 00:32:43,761 --> 00:32:46,698 INVOLVED IN A KIND OF CRIMINAL CONSPIRACY, WHILE ALSO GETTING 500 00:32:46,764 --> 00:32:49,400 TO KNOW EACH OTHER. AND IT'S A KIND OF DRAMA. 501 00:32:49,467 --> 00:32:51,903 IT'S A THRILLER. IT'S A COMEDY. 502 00:32:51,969 --> 00:32:57,375 AND IT STARS MR. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN, AMONG OTHERS. 503 00:32:57,442 --> 00:33:01,913 ( APPLAUSE ). THERE'S YOU. 504 00:33:01,979 --> 00:33:04,315 RIGHT THERE. I HAVE A PHOTO HERE OF SOMETHING 505 00:33:04,382 --> 00:33:07,452 THAT HAPPENED ON SET, AND I'M HOPING YOU CAN EXPLAIN THIS FOR 506 00:33:07,518 --> 00:33:09,287 ME. THIS IS NOT A STUNT. 507 00:33:09,354 --> 00:33:10,955 >> NO, NO, THIS IS -- >> Stephen: WHAT HAPPENED 508 00:33:11,022 --> 00:33:17,128 HERE? >> SO THIS IS OUR... THIS IS OUR 509 00:33:17,195 --> 00:33:20,064 COSTUME TRUCK. WE FILMED IT IN MY HOME TOWN OF 510 00:33:20,131 --> 00:33:22,667 BRISTOL WHICH HAS A BIG RIVER RUNNING THROUGH IT. 511 00:33:22,734 --> 00:33:27,505 AND I WENT INTO SET ONE DAY TO FIND THAT COSTUME TRUCK IN THE-- 512 00:33:27,572 --> 00:33:31,843 HALF SUBMERGEED IN THE RIVER. AND THAT'S JUST FOR MY SHOES, 513 00:33:31,909 --> 00:33:36,481 THAT TRUCK. AND, YEAH, WE'RE GENUINELY NOT 514 00:33:36,547 --> 00:33:41,185 ENTIRELY SURE HOW IT HAPPENED. I'M NOT IF YOU'RE AWARE DURING 515 00:33:41,252 --> 00:33:44,021 BREXIT WE COULDN'T GET TRUCK DRIVERS. 516 00:33:44,088 --> 00:33:48,860 WE HAD TO CALL IN A LOT OF FAVORS AND THAT WAS DRIVEN BY MY 517 00:33:48,926 --> 00:33:51,295 GRANDMOTHER. AND SHE'S A DEMON ON THE 518 00:33:51,362 --> 00:33:54,098 MOBILITY SCOOTER. >> Stephen: HOW DID YOU FIND 519 00:33:54,165 --> 00:33:55,533 OUT? DID YOU SHOW UP TO WORK AND IT 520 00:33:55,600 --> 00:34:01,305 WAS THE RIVER? >> YEAH, I WISHED I HAD PAID FOR 521 00:34:01,372 --> 00:34:02,507 CATARACT SURGERY IN BOTH OF HER EYE S. 522 00:34:02,573 --> 00:34:06,744 >> Stephen: WAS ANYONE HURT? >> NO ONE WAS HURT, AND THE 523 00:34:06,811 --> 00:34:11,516 COSTUMES WERE RUINED AND THERE WAS NO HIGH AND MIGHTY SO I WAS 524 00:34:11,582 --> 00:34:12,583 DONE FOR ( APPLAUSE ). 525 00:34:12,650 --> 00:34:16,721 WANT TO SHOW THIS YET. I DON'T WANT TO SHOW THIS YET. 526 00:34:16,788 --> 00:34:22,059 BUT IS IT TRUE CHRISTOPHER WALKEN PAINTED OVER AN ACTUAL 527 00:34:22,126 --> 00:34:25,963 THINK ABOUTSY? >> I'M FROM BRISTOL AND BRISTOL 528 00:34:26,030 --> 00:34:32,837 IS THE HOME OF BANKSY'S ART. HIS ARTIFICER APPEARED IN 529 00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:34,272 BRISTOL. WE THOUGHT IT WAS A FUN IDEA. 530 00:34:34,338 --> 00:34:37,975 IN THE SHOW THEY'RE RENOVATING A BUILDING AND THEY'RE PATIENTING 531 00:34:38,042 --> 00:34:43,948 THIS BUILDING AND WE THOUGHT WOULDN'T IT BE FUN IF WE 532 00:34:44,015 --> 00:34:45,850 UNEARTHED A BANKSY. AND SOMEBODY SAID WHAT IF WE TRY 533 00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:50,855 TO CONTACT THE REAL BANKSY AND GET HIM TO DO A REAL PIECE OF 534 00:34:50,922 --> 00:34:54,325 ART FOR THE SHOW AND ASK CHRISTOPHER WALKEN TO PAINT OVER 535 00:34:54,392 --> 00:34:55,993 IT. WE MANAGED TO FIND SOME 536 00:34:56,060 --> 00:34:58,396 GO-BETWEENS AND GOT WORD TO BANKSY. 537 00:34:58,463 --> 00:35:01,065 AND HE SAID, "IF I'VE GOT TIME I'LL DO THIS." 538 00:35:01,132 --> 00:35:05,069 WE SHOWED UP ONE MORNING, AND THERE WAS AN ORIGINAL BANKSY 539 00:35:05,136 --> 00:35:07,505 PAINTED ON THIS BUILDING WE WERE USING AS A SET. 540 00:35:07,572 --> 00:35:10,374 WE COVERED IT UP, HID IT FROM THE CAST AND CREW. 541 00:35:10,441 --> 00:35:13,077 SIX WEEKS LATER I WENT TO CHRISTOPHER'S TRAIRL AND SAD, 542 00:35:13,144 --> 00:35:16,514 WE'VE HAD A BANKSY HERE FOR SIX WEEKS. 543 00:35:16,581 --> 00:35:19,450 YOU'RE GOING TO PAINT OVER IT. NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT IT." 544 00:35:19,517 --> 00:35:23,454 AND WE HAD ONE SHOT TO GET IT RIGHT AND WE GOT IT AND WE 545 00:35:23,521 --> 00:35:25,923 INCLUDED IT IN THE SHOW AND WE KEPT IT SECRET. 546 00:35:25,990 --> 00:35:29,894 >> Stephen: WE HAVE THE CLIP RIGHT HERE. 547 00:35:29,961 --> 00:35:35,633 ♪ THEY WORK SO HARD UNTIL THE SUN IS GOING DOWN ♪ 548 00:35:35,700 --> 00:35:42,940 >> UNDER 10 KILLOS ARE YOURS. >> IT'S GRAFFITI. 549 00:35:43,007 --> 00:35:47,678 >> HE SAID TO PAINT OVER ANY GRAFFITI. 550 00:35:47,745 --> 00:35:54,952 >> IT'S AWFULLY GOOD. >> LESS DEBATING, MORE PAINTING 551 00:35:55,019 --> 00:36:00,224 ♪ THAT'S THE SOUND OF THE MEN THEY'RE WORKING ON THE CHAIN 552 00:36:00,291 --> 00:36:03,327 GANG ♪ ( LAUGHTER ) 553 00:36:03,394 --> 00:36:04,829 >> Stephen: BEAUTIFUL. I LOVE IT. 554 00:36:04,896 --> 00:36:08,666 >> ISN'T THAT GREAT? >> Stephen: STEPHEN, LOVELY TO 555 00:36:08,733 --> 00:36:09,901 MEET YOU. >> THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME. 556 00:36:09,967 --> 00:36:11,469 >> Stephen: SEASON TWO OF "THE OUTLAWS" PREMIERES AUGUST 5 ON 557 00:36:11,536 --> 00:36:12,336 PRIME VIDEO. STEPHEN MERCHANT, EVERYBODY! 558 00:36:12,403 --> 00:36:12,904 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. ED 559 00:37:01,953 --> 00:37:03,588 ♪THERE COMES A TIME WHEN PEACE OF MIND, CAN'T WAIT 560 00:37:03,654 --> 00:37:06,891 ANY LONGER ♪ YOU HIT A WALL 561 00:37:06,958 --> 00:37:09,894 AND START TO FALL, THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SAY 562 00:37:09,961 --> 00:37:11,128 ♪ AND SOMETIMES THERE ISN'T ANY SIGN OF A PATH THAT CLEAR TO 563 00:37:11,195 --> 00:37:15,900 FOLLOW ♪ MOST TIMES I BEGIN TO FIND 564 00:37:15,967 --> 00:37:22,907 THAT IT'S ME THAT'S IN THE WAY ♪ I TAKE A LOOK AT MYSELF 565 00:37:22,974 --> 00:37:26,978 TAKE A LOOK AT MYSELF ♪ NOW I TRY TO BE PATIENT, MAN 566 00:37:27,044 --> 00:37:32,650 THERE WAS NO WAY OF KNOWING ♪ I CLOSE MY EYES UNTIL I CAN 567 00:37:32,717 --> 00:37:35,419 SEE WHAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME ♪ AND SOMETIMES YOU DON'T NEED 568 00:37:35,486 --> 00:37:39,924 EVERYONE TO REMIND YOU WHERE YOU'RE GOING 569 00:37:39,991 --> 00:37:43,961 ♪ MOST TIMES I BEGIN TO FIND I GOT EVERYTHING THAT I NEED 570 00:37:44,028 --> 00:37:55,640 ♪ I TAKE A LOOK AT MYSELF I TAKE A LOOK AT MYSELF 571 00:37:55,706 --> 00:37:59,110 I TAKE A LOOK AT MYSELF ♪ 'CAUSE WHEN I FIGURE OUT HOW 572 00:37:59,176 --> 00:38:03,681 TO SETTLE DOWN I KNOW I'LL BE OKAY 573 00:38:03,748 --> 00:38:05,816 ♪ AND IT'S ALRIGHT IF I WAIT IT OUT 574 00:38:05,883 --> 00:38:08,185 ♪ THE SUN WILL RISE THE MORNING COMES WITH A BRAND 575 00:38:08,252 --> 00:38:12,857 NEW LIGHT ♪ IT'S ALRIGHT TO TAKE A DEEP 576 00:38:12,923 --> 00:38:27,672 BREATH AND LOOK WITHIN ♪ ♪ ♪ 577 00:38:27,738 --> 00:38:42,620 ♪ ♪ ♪ 578 00:38:42,687 --> 00:38:47,658 ♪ ♪ ♪ 579 00:38:47,725 --> 00:38:56,267 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 580 00:38:56,333 --> 00:38:58,202 ♪ IT'S ALRIGHT IF I WAIT IT OUT 581 00:38:58,269 --> 00:39:00,104 THE SUN WILL RISE ♪ THE MORNING COMES 582 00:39:00,171 --> 00:39:03,641 WITH A BRAND NEW LIGHT ♪ IT'S ALRIGHT TO TAKE A DEEP 583 00:39:03,708 --> 00:39:05,710 BREATH AND LOOK WITHIN ♪ ♪ ♪ 584 00:39:15,953 --> 00:39:30,201 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ I TAKE A LOOK AT MYSELF 585 00:39:30,267 --> 00:39:42,113 TAKE A LOOK AT MYSELF ♪ TAKE A LOOK AT MYSELF 586 00:39:42,179 --> 00:39:46,751 MAKE THE TIME TO STEP AWAY ♪ BECAUSE WHEN I FIGURE OUT HOW 587 00:39:46,817 --> 00:39:48,819 TO SETTLE DOWN ♪ I KNOW I'LL BE OKAY. 588 00:40:06,470 --> 00:40:10,808 STAY HUMAN BAND EVERYBODY! THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." 589 00:40:10,875 --> 00:40:11,976 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE JONATHAN KARL AND 590 00:40:12,042 --> 00:40:14,044 B.J. NOVAK. GOOD NIGHT.