STUNNING REVELATIONS COMING OUT OF THE NEW MEMOIR OF FORMER
PRESIDENT TRUMP'S SON-IN-LAW.
IN HIS NEW BOOK BREAKING HISTORY
A WHITE HOUSE MEMOIR JARED KUSHNER DETAILS MULTIPLE CLASHES
WITH ONE TIME FELLOW TRUMP ADVISOR STEVE BANNON.
>> BANNON THREATENED TO QUOTE BREAK HIM IN HALF IF KUSHNER
TURNED ON HIM. >> JARED KUSHNER'S NEW MEMOIR,
BREAKING HISTORY DETAILS HIS TIME IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
AND AUDIBLE HAS THE EXCLUSIVE AUDIO BOOK.
ENJOY BREAKING HISTORY AS READ BY JARED KUSHNER.
>> AFTER BEING BULLIED BY BANNON, STEVE KEPT ASKING ME IF
I WANTED A DONUT, I HAVE NEVER TRIED SUCH A BRAND OF DONUTS SO
I AGREED. HE THEN TOUCHED ME IN THE GROIN
AND SAY HURTS, DONE OUT. LATE THARY DAY MIKE POMPEO ASKED
ME WHAT THE CAPITOL OF THAILAND WAS.
WHEN I ANSWERED BANGKOK I WAS PUNCHED IN THE GENITALS FOR THE
SECOND TIME THAT DAY. DURING THE CABINET MEETING BETSY
DEVOS ASKED ME WHAT IS A SQUIRREL'S FAVORITE DRINK.
BEFORE I COULD ANSWER SHE YELLED NUT PUNCH.
AND THEN DID THAT TO ME. >> SO DOWNLOAD JARED KUSHNER'S
BREAKING HISTORY TODAY. >> OKAY GUY, I'M DONE WITH THE
REPORTING. OKAY.
THE DOOR IS LOCKED. HA HA, REAL FUNNY.
WHO TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS. IVANKA.
>> IT'S THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.
TONIGHT'S FEEL FAST BETTER PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES PATTON OSWALT
AND ENERGY SECRETARY JENNIFER GRANHOLM.
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN WITH SPECIAL GUEST JAMES
TAYLOR. AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED
SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT.
>> Stephen: OH HEY. (APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: THANK YOU MY FRIENDS, THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). >> Stephen: OKAY.
HEY, EVERYBODY. WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO THE LATE
SHOW. I'M YOUR HOST, COCO SHOW.
HAPPY MONDAY. IT'S THE FIRST OF AUGUST.
TYPICALLY, A MONTH WHEN THE NEWS SLOWS DOWN.
AMERICANS GO ON VACATION, CONGRESS GEARS UP FOR RECESS,
AND WOLF BLITZER HITS THE SITUATION HAMMOCK.
AND THAT SLOW NEWS MAY EXPLAIN WHY TODAY'S TOP HEADLINE IS JOE
BIDEN TESTED POSITIVE AGAIN FOR CORONAVIRUS.
THAT'S RIGHT! EXTRA!
MAN NEVER REALLY THAT SICK,
STILL TECHNICALLY SICK. LAST WEEK, BIDEN TESTED
NEGATIVE, NOW HE'S POSITIVE AGAIN.
EXPERTS SAY HE'S LIKELY EXPERIENCING PAXLOVID 'REBOUND.'
WOW, GETTING COVID TWICE IN A ROW 'CUZ YOU TOOK PAXLOVID?
WHO COULD'VE SEEN THIS COMING? HAPPENED TO ME.
HAPPENED TO ME IN MAY. HAPPENED TO LOTS OF FOLKS.
I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO TOOK PAXLOVID WHO DIDN'T GET IT
AGAIN. IT'S THE HOTTEST REBOUND SINCE
J-LO TESTED POSITIVE FOR A SECOND CASE OF AFFLECK.
BASED ON A TRUE STORY. RESEARCHERS SAY PAXLOVID REBOUND
IS CAUSED BY INSUFFICIENT DRUG EXPOSURE: NOT ENOUGH OF THE
PAXLOVID DRUG GETS TO INFECTED CELLS TO STOP ALL VIRAL
REPLICATION. SO THE COVID POPS RIGHT BACK UP.
WHICH IS WHY THE WHITE HOUSE IS NOW TRYING TO GIVE PAXLOVID TO
BIDEN'S POLL NUMBERS. BIEDZEN-- YEAH, TAKES A SECOND.
BIDEN POSTED THIS UPDATE FROM REQUARANTINE:
>> HEY, FOLKS, JOE BIDEN HERE. TESTED POSITIVE THIS MORNING.
GOING TO BE WORKING FROM HOME FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS.
AND I'M FEELING FINE. EVERYTHING IS GOOD.
BUT COMMANDER AND I GOT A LITTLE WORK TO DO.
(LAUGHTER) >> Stephen: I ASKED COMMANDER IF
I COULD SIT DOWN, TAKE A BREATHER.
HE SAID NO. THAT'S OK.
THE TWO OF US GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
STARTIN' WITH KEEPIN' AN EYE ON THAT SQUIRREL THAT'S BEEN
TAUNTING US ALL MORNING. THEN WE'RE GOING TO GO CHEW UP
JILL'S LOAFERS. NOW, THERE'S A STORY ABOUT
CONGRESS AND VETERANS OUT THERE. AND I JUST WANNA START BY SAYING
I'VE BEEN MAKING THE POLITICAL JOKEY MAKE-'EM-UPS FOR OVER 20
YEARS, AND I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING SO BALDLY CYNICAL AND
POINTLESSLY MALICIOUS AS THIS. IF THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THE
ROOM, TELL THEM TO AGE QUICKLY AND VOTE, BECAUSE RECENTLY, BOTH
THE HOUSE AND SENATE OVERWHELMINGLY PASSED A BILL
CALLED THE PACT ACT, WHICH WOULD EXPAND HEALTHCARE COVERAGE FOR
MILITARY VETERANS WHO WERE EXPOSED TO TOXINS AND BURN PITS
DURING THEIR SERVICE. THAT'S SOMETHING WE CAN ALL
AGREE ON. IF WE'RE GOING TO GO TO WAR, WE
HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THE WARRIORS.
EXCEPT THAT, DUE TO ADMINISTRATIVE ISSUES, THE
SENATE HAD TO REVOTE ON THE BILL.
AND THIS TIME, IT WAS BLOCKED, BECAUSE 25 REPUBLICAN SENATORS
FLIPPED THEIR VOTES. >> BOO!
AND LIKE MANY AMERICANS, I'D LIKE TO FLIP THEM IN RETURN.
WHY WOULD REPUBLICANS SCREW OVER VETERANS ON A GOOD BILL THAT
THEY PREVIOUSLY VOTED FOR? WELL, ONE THEORY IS THEY HAD
THEIR BOXERS IN A BUNCH AFTER JOE MANCHIN AND CHUCK SCHUMER
SECRETLY NEGOTIATED A BIG CLIMATE DEAL.
SO, SCREWING VETERANS MIGHT BE POLITICAL PAYBACK.
WELL, THAT WOULD BE SOME MISDIRECTED ANGER, G.O.P..
IT'S LIKE A QUARTERBACK SAYING, (AS QUARTERBACK)
"ALL RIGHT, WE'RE DOWN 20, I JUST THREW AN INTERCEPTION, AND
THE OTHER TEAM SCORED. HERE'S THE PLAY: I'M GONNA
SUCKER PUNCH THAT OLD GUY AT THE HOT DOG STAND.
SLAP GRANDPA ON THREE." OF COURSE, WHEN IT'S A STORY
THIS HORRIBLE, IT'S GOTTA INVOLVE TEXAS SENATOR AND
BUTTHOLE ALL DRESSED UP FOR HIS PROSTATE EXAM, TED CRUZ.
AFTER BLOCKING HEALTH CARE TO VETERANS, CRUZ WAS CAUGHT ON
CAMERA WALKING UP TO MONTANA SENATOR STEVE DAINES AND GIVING
HIM A FIST BUMP. I IMAGINE THERE'S SOME VETERANS
WHO WOULD ALSO LIKE TO BUMP TED CRUZ WITH THEIR FISTS.
THIS WHOLE THING IS OUTRAGEOUS. YOU KNOW WHO IS PARTICULARLY
OUTRAGED? MY OLD BUDDY AND LEPRECHAUN LAW
PARTNER, JON STEWART. JON'S BEEN ADVOCATING FOR THIS
VETERANS' HEALTHCARE BILL FOR YEARS, AND ALMOST SAW IT ACROSS
THE FINISH LINE, UNTIL REPUBLICANS SHANKED IT.
HE HAD WORDS. >> SO AIN'T THIS A (/ BLEEP/ )?
AMERICA'S HEROES, WHO FOUGHT IN OUR WARS, OUTSIDE SWEATING THEIR
ASSES OFF, WITH OXYGEN, BATTLING ALL KINDS OF AILMENTS, WHILE
THESE MOTHER(/ BLEEP/ )ERS, SITN FROM ANY OF IT.
IF THIS IS AMERICA FIRST, THEN AMERICA IS (/ BLEEP/ ).
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). >> Stephen: STRONG WORDS, THIS
IS AMERICA FIRST-- >> Stephen: LOT OF PEOPLE ARE
CALLING FOR JON TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT, AND THAT WOULD MAKE A
GREAT CAMPAIGN SLOGAN. RIGHT UP THERE WITH TIPPECANOE
AND (/ BLEEP/ ) YOU TOO. THE POTTY MOUTH TONIGHT WHEN
JAMES TAYLOR IS HERE. (APPLAUSE)
SPOILTER, JAMES TAYLOR IS HERE. (APPLAUSE)
I GAVE AWAY THE BIG ENTRANCE. IT WAS A BIG WEEKEND FOR FORMER
PRESIDENT THE DIM REAPER. HE HOSTED A GOLF TOURNAMENT AT
HIS NEW JERSEY CLUB AS PART OF THE LIV TOURNAMENT, A NEW GOLF
TOUR FINANCED BY SAUDI ARABIA, WHICH CRITICS HAVE BASHED AS
SPORT WASHING BY A BRUTAL REGIME SEEKING TO CLEANSE ITS
REPUTATION AFTER THE MURDER OF WASHINGTON POST JOURNALIST JAMAL
KHASHOGGI. NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH SPORTS
WASHING, WHEN YOU HIRE GRONK TO DO YOUR DELICATES.
SURVIVORS AND FAMILIES OF 9/11 PROTESTED THE TOURNAMENT BECAUSE
OF SAUDI INVOLVEMENT IN THAT ATTACK, AND THE FORMER PRESIDENT
WAS ASKED ABOUT THAT ON THURSDAY:
>> WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THOSE FAMILY MEMBERS THAT PROTESTED
EARLIER THIS WEEK AND WILL BE DOING SO AGAIN ON FRIDAY?
>> WELL/ NOBODY'S/ GOTTEN TO THE >> Stephen: YEAH.
NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA WHO DID 9/11 OR WHAT COUNTRY THEY CAME FROM.
THAT'S WHY IN 2011, THAT FAMOUS HEADLINE READ: SEAL TEAM SIX
SHOOTS SOME DUDE IN THE EYE. WHAT GIVES?
ON THURSDAY A NOVEMBERER GOT A SHOT OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT
WITHOUT MAKEUP. AND HOW BAD COT PHOTO BE.
OH MY GD. SOMEONE TURNED OFF THE AC AT MAD
I'M TEU SAUCED, IT REMINDED ME SCENE IN STAR WARS.
>> EEEWW! OH MY GOD BACK IN THE HELMET!
BACK IN THE HELMET! INFLATION IS STILL ROCKING OUR
WORLD. PRICES ARE SO HIGH THAT IT'S LED
TO AN INCREASE IN THEFT. NOW, STORES ARE LOCKING UP SPAM
DUE TO INFLATION IN NEW YORK CITY.
ONE PLACE YOU NEED A KEY TO ACCESS THE PRECIOUS SALT-MEATS
IS THE PORT AUTHORITY BUS DEPOT, WHERE IT'S BEING STOCKED IN
ANTI-THEFT CASES. OF COURSE, IF YOU'RE EATING SPAM
IN THE PORT AUTHORITY, YOU'VE GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS THAN
INFLATION. NOW, THE PHOTO I'M ABOUT TO SHOW
YOU IS REAL. I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS WHEN I
FIRST SAW IT. BUT THEY'VE ALSO LOCKED UP
SPAM'S DISAPPOINTED FATHER, HAM. IT'S LIKE AN EXHIBIT IN THE
MUSEUM OF SADNESS. NOW TO TO EVERYONE SAYK HEY,
STEVE, ISN'T ALL THIS HAM SECURITY GOING TOO FAR?
LET ME POINT OUT THAT THIS IS CELEBRITY HAM.
I ASSUME IT STARRED IN THE MOVIE BABE.
WHICH IS WHY THEY'RE ADVERTISING IT WITH THE SLOGAN,
MMM THAT'LL DO, PIG WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT, MY GUESTS ARE PATTON OSWALT AND SECRETARY JENNIFER
GRANHOLM. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
MEANWHILE! STICK AROUND.
GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND, EVERYBODY.
YEAH, THIS IS FUN. NOW I'M SURE NOBODY IN THE
AUDIENCE HAS NOTICED SO FAR, BUT THERE IS A GUEST WITH OUR BAND
THIS EVENING, TELL PEOPLE WHO WE ARE HONORED TO HAVE.
>> SO HONORED TO HAVE ONE OF MY HEROES, BUILD JAMES TAYLOR.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WHO DO YOU HAVE JOINS US ON THE KEYS TONIGHT.
>> FROM JAMES TAYLOR'S BAND WE HAVE ANOTHER DEAR FRIEND,
MR. LARRY GOLDEN. (APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: THANK YOU LARRY. THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
JAMES, JAMES, WHEN ARE WE GOING FISHING?
>> GOOD QUESTION. >> Jon: BECAUSE WE TALKED
ABOUT THIS. WE TALKED ABOUT GOING FISHING
HERE WHEN YOU WERE ON THE SHOW LAST TIME.
BACKSTAGE YOU SAID WERE YOU SERIOUS ABOUT GOING FISHING WITH
ME. WE ALSO SAID AGAIN WHEN WE HAD
DINNER LAST OCTOBER, I DON'T WANT TO SAY WHERE THE BAMA'S
HOUSE. BUT WE HAD DINNER-- I SAID LET'S
GO FISHING, YOU SAID ABSOLUTELY, I INVITED TO YOU GO FINISHING
YOU GO-- FISHING BUT YOU HAD A 12 MONTH NATIONAL TOUR.
ARE YOU OFF NOW. >> YOU DID 12 MONTH TOUR.
>> YEAH T STARTED 12 MONTHS AGO, NOT ALL OF THAT TIME WAS ON THE
ROAD AND NOT ALL OF IT WAS IN THE U.S. BUT YES, WE'VE BEEN ON
THE ROLLED ROADS FOR AWHILE. BUT WE'RE OFF.
WE FINISHED THAT TOUR. >> Stephen: WELL, NOW I'M BACK
AT WORK SO I CAN'T. WE'LL GET IT.
>> WE COULD GO DOG FISHING. >> Stephen: WHAT IS DOG
FISHING. >> YOU BAIT A HOOK AND THROW IT
OFF THE TOP OF A BROWN STONE AND WAIT FOR A DOG.
>> Stephen: WOW. WE ALSO HAVE OTHER GUEST THIS
EVENING, IN CASE ANYBODY IS WONDERING.
WE HAVE PATTON OSWALT IS GOING TO BE OUT HERE IN A MOMENT.
AND SECRETARY OF ENERGY JENNIFER GRANHOLM IS GOING TO BE OUT
HERE. YOU
>> Stephen: Y'KNOW, FOLKS. I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME, RIGHT
OVER THERE, GATHERING FOR YOU THE DAY'S FINEST, MOST IMPORTANT
NEWS LEATHER, CUTTING IT INTO YOKES WITH A SKIVING KNIFE,
FITTING THEM TO A SOLE WITH THE MOST TOPICAL WELT CONSTRUCTION,
THEN SETTING THE STAYS INTO THE HEEL AND ADDING A BURNISHED
PATINA, ALL ON A CURVED LAST, TO PRESENT TO YOU THE EXQUISITE
BESPOKE BERLUTI SHOE THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
BUT SOMETIMES I WAKE UP NEAR A TIRE FIRE OUTSIDE OF TOWN, BREAK
INTO A MINI VAN, CUT UP THE SEAT CUSHIONS AND STRAP THEM TO MY
FEET USING THE BARBED WIRE I STOLE OFF AN ABANDONED PRISON
FENCE TO MAKE THE JANKY HOBO CLOG OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:
(/ MUSIC STING/ ) MEANWHILE, IN NEW MEXICO,
ALBUQUERQUE HAS JUST ERECTED STATUES OF THE TWO LEAD
CHARACTERS OF THE SHOW BREAKING BAD.
AND THEY'VE SWITCHED THE CITY'S SLOGAN FROM CHANGE YOUR
PERSPECTIVE TO TRY METH. MEANWHILE, THERE WAS CONFUSION
FOR NEW MEXICO DRIVERS RECENTLY WHEN A NEW ROAD SIGN FOR
ALBUQUERQUE MISSPELLED THE CITY'S NAME, LOSING THE R.
ALBUE CUE CUE? ALBE KWAY KWAY?
STILL LESS AWKWARD THAN WHEN OFFICIALS MESSED UP THE WELCOME
SIGN FOR VIRGINIA. (LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE) MEANWHILE, YOU COULD GET PAID TO
EAT CANDY AS A CANADIAN COMPANY'S CHIEF CANDY OFFICER.
YOU MEAN I COULD GET PAID FOR THAT?
I'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR FREE MY WHOLE LIFE.
WHAT'S NEXT, YOU CAN GET PAID TO TELL JOKES ALL DAY?
-- WHAT? IF A BOAT LOAD OF CANDY ISN'T
ENOUGH, THE COMPANY IS ALSO OFFERING AN ANNUAL SALARY OF
$100,000 CANADIAN. WOW, THAT IS A LOT?
OR A LITTLE? I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT CAN YOU BUY UP THERE? MEANWHILE, IN MEXICO,
THIS GRANDMA'S DYING WISH WAS A GIANT PENIS ON HER GRAVE.
I'M GOING TO ASSUME THAT THIS IS NOT MAKING IT PAST THE CBS
CURRENTS ORS AND IT MIGHT BE A LITTLE BLURRY AT HOME FOR YOU AT
HOME. LET ME JUST SUMMARIZE IT BY
SAYING WHAM, BAM, REST IN PEACE, MA'AM.
AGAIN, JAMES, AGAIN, JAMES, I PROMISE YOU, WE HAVE A PEABODY
AND EVERYTHING. MEANWHILE, THERE'S AN IMPORTANT
UPDATE ON ONE OF MY FAVORITE LOCATIONS: EARTH.
WE'VE LEARNED THAT THE EARTH HAS SET A NEW RECORD FOR THE
SHORTEST DAY. THINGS ARE SO BAD, EVEN THE
PLANET IS LIKE, "OK, LET'S WRAP THIS UP."
THIS HAPPENED FOR THE SIMPLE REASON THAT THE EARTH SPUN
FASTER. ON JUNE 29TH OF THIS YEAR,
THE PLANET COMPLETED A FULL SPIN ON 29 JUNE 2022, IN A TIME THAT
WAS, LITTLE OVER ONE THOUSANDTH OF A SECOND SHORTER THAN ITS
STANDARD 24-HOUR ROTATION. THE EARTH SCIENTISTS AREN'T
SURE, BUT THEY THINK IT SPED UP BECAUSE EVERYBODY ON EARTH
TUCKED THEIR ARMS IN. TURNS OUT, THE EARTH HAS BEEN
INCREASING IN SPEED. IN 2020, THE EARTH SAW ITS
SHORTEST MONTH THAT HAS EVER BEEN MEASURED, SINCE THE 1960S.
OK- I'M NOT SAYING I DON'T TRUST SCIENCE, BUT I WAS THERE.
NONE OF THE MONTHS IN 2020 WERE SHORT.
I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S STILL MARCH.
SCIENTISTS AREN'T A HUNDRED PERCENT SURE WHY THIS IS
HAPPENING BUT THEY SAY IT COULD BE RELATED TO A SMALL
DEVIATION IN THE EARTH'S AXIS OF ROTATION, KNOWN AS THE CHANDLER
WOBBLE. THE CHANDLER WOBBLE OFTEN
PRECEDES THE MUCH MORE DANGEROUS RACHEL HAIRCUT.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH PATTON OSWALT.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU JAMES, JAMES TAYLOR, EVERYBODY.
THERE YOU GO. HEY, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW ALREADY IN PROGRESS.
FOLKS MY FIRST GUEST IS AN EMMY AND
GRAMMY AWARD WINNING COMEDIAN YOU KNOW FROM "THE KING OF
QUEENS," "MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.," AND ALL HIS
COMEDY SPECIALS. HIS NEW FILM, "I LOVE MY DAD,"
HITS THEATERS THIS FRIDAY. PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE
SHOW, PATTON OSWALT!
GOOD TO SEE YOU. NICE TO YOU HAVE BACK.
>> THANKS, GREAT TO BE BACK, WOW.
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND, I JUST MISSED YOU.
I WAS OUT AT COMIC-CON, FRIDAY, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
>> YES, WE WERE THERE. YOU WERE HOSTING THE LORD OF THE
RINGS, RINGS OF POWER PANEL. AND I WAS IN THE AUDIENCE, I WAS
GOING TO INTERVIEW SOME OF THE CAST LATER BUT WE WERE ALL
WATCHING YOU, LISTEN,. >> Stephen: I WASN'T
SURPRISED. >> WELL, YOU WERE A SURPRISE.
WERE YOU ALSO, AND I MEAN THIS AS A COMPLIMENT, THE BEST AND
WORST MODERATOR FOR THAT PANEL BECAUSE.
>> Stephen: DO GO ON. >> ON THE ONE HAND WERE YOU SO
ENTHUSIASTIC AND YOU HAD ALL OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND SO FIRED UP.
ON THE OTHER HAND THE MEMBERS, HAVE OF THE PAN SELL GOING THAT
IS NOT HOW THAT IS PRONOUNCED. IT IS-- IT SAY HARDER SCOTTISH,
TRY TRY THAT AGAIN WHAT DID YOU SAY, NO, THAT'S WRONG, THAT'S
NOT WHAT YOUR CHARACTER'S NAME IS.
SO ST WEIRD THAT YOU WOULD BE IN THIS SHOW AND YOU GOT
THIS-- OKAY, LIKE, IT FELT LIKE-- IT JUST FELT LIKE WERE
YOU ALMOST GIVING THEM THEIR EXIT INTERVIEW, LIKE WHOAFER
MISPRONOUNCED THEIR NAMES WASN'T GOING TO GET TO BE ON SEASON
TWO. >> Stephen: ALL I DID WAS ASK
ONE GUY PLAYS AN ELF IF HE WAS A NANDOR OR NOVARI IS THAT SUCH A
HARD QUESTION. >> AND DID HE MISPRONOUNCE IT OR
SAID IT, HE PICKED THE WRONG THING.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT GOING TO HELP YOU WITH THAT.
>> WELL, I-- . >> Stephen: LET'S MOVE ON.
>> ALL RIGHT, I'M SORRY. >> Stephen: HOW ABOUT THIS,
DID YOU SPEND ANY TIME LOOKING AT THE REST OF-- DID YOU DOT
REST OF COMIC-CON OR JUST DO THE PANELS AND GET OUT.
>> I HAD SO MANY PANELS TO DO I HOSTED.
I HAD THE PANEL FOR FAN MAN WHICH ALSO-- NEIL GAMON, AND
WHICH ALSO PREMIERS FRIDAY AUGUST 5TH ON NETFLIX.
AND THEN I ALSO, I GOT TO HOST A SEVERANCE PANEL.
>> Stephen: I WISH I COULD HAVE SEEN THE SEVERANCE PANEL.
>> THAT SHOW IS AMAZING AND SOUND NERVING.
>> Stephen: HOW MANY PEOPLE HERE.
>> HAVE YOU SEEN SEVERANCE. YEAH, IT'S-- IT IS THIS
INCREDIBLE SHOW ABOUT THEY REALLY NAIL HOW CORPORATIONS T
IS KIND OF THIS MANDATED MENTAL ILLNESS, SO THAT YOU CAN
DISASSOCIATE YOURSELF FROM THE CRUSHING BOREDOM OF YOUR OWN JOB
BECAUSE IT HELPS THE COMPANY'S BOTTOMLINE DOWN THE ROAD.
BUT AT THE COST OF YOUR WELL-BEING.
AND THEY JUST PLAY WITH THAT SO BRILLIANTLY, YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING FROM THE PAST ABOUT
WHAT-- I'M WONDERING WHETHER IT IS CLAUSTROPHOBIC TO DO IT
BECAUSE IT SEEMS SUCH A COMPLETE WORLDS.
>> IT WAS NICE, THE OPPOSITE. YOU KNOW THE HALLWAYS ON THE
SHOW, THOSE LONG TRACKING SHOTSES, THEY BUILT THAT-- THEY
ARE NOT FAKING THAT. >> NO, NO, THEY BUILT THIS WHOLE
MAZE OF HALLWAYS AND THE SET, THE OFFICE SET IS IN THE MIDDLE
SO ADAM SCOTT AND MY GOD Y MI BLANKING ON HER NAME, LAURER.
>> I WILL GET HER NAME HALFWAY THROUGH THE ANECDOTE, WATCH T
WILL BE AMAZING. TO GO TO THE BATHROOM THEY HAD
TO GO OFFSET AND COME BACK AND THEN THEY WOULD GET LOST IN THE
HALLWAYS. SO ADAM SCOTT WOULD BE LIKE
FOLLOW MY VOICE. IT'S ADAM SCOTT.
I'M BACK FROM THE BATHROOM AND THEY WOULD SEND PEOPLE AND HAD
TO KEEP YELL SOG THEY COULD BE FOUND IN THE HALLWAYS.
>> Stephen: ANOTHER SHOW THAT THIS IS NOT A SHOW WERE YOU
PANELING BUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS.
>> BRIT LA-WER. SORRY.
>> Stephen: I KNEW THE NAME THE ENTIRE TIME.
>> YEAH, EXACTLY. >> Stephen: THERE STVMENT I
DIDN'T-- I WANTED TO SEE YOU SUFFER, IS WHAT I WANTED.
>> EXACTSLY. THIS IS WHAT HE DID DURING THE
LORD OF THE RING, SAT THERE THE WHOLE TIME, KNEW EVERYTHING.
>> Stephen: I DID NOT AT ALL. WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK,
WHEN WE COME BACK I WILL ASK PATTON OSWALT ABOUT BEING IN ONE
OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS. STICK AROUND.
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK, THAT IS PATTON
OSWALT IN THE FLESH. THE SHOW YOU DID NOT DO A PANEL
ON BUT I ADMIRE SO MUCH AND YOU WERE IN, HANDS ON GUY, ONE OF MY
FAVORITE AND ONE OF MY CHARACTERS.
YOU USED TO BE CHIEF OF STAFF TO THE VIETION PRESIDENT, VEEP, AND
RAN JOHNA'S 2020 PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN, AS YOU CALLED HIM,
HEY, I AM GROOT. WHAT DID, DID BEING PART OF VEEP
CHANGE YOUR VIEW OF POLITICS. >> YES, IT CHANGED MY VIEW MUCH
POLITICS IN THAT A LOT OF THE MYTHS ABOUT PEOPLE RUNNING
POLITICS MUST BE THE CREAM OF THE CROP.
NO, A LOT OF TIMES THE PEOPLE AT THE WHEEL ARE DRUNK AND ON PILLS
AND BARELY HOLDING IT TOGETHER. BUT IT ALSO MADE ME LOVE THE
AMERICAN SYSTEM A LITTLE MORE BECAUSE IT SHOWS YOU HOW RESILL
YEBTS IT IS THAT EVEN THAT EVERY NOW AND THEN IT IS ALL THE HANDS
OF JUST PURE SOCIOPATHS T HASN'T COMPLETELY FALLEN APART YET.
THERE IS SOMETHING KIND OF BEAUTIFUL ABOUT THAT, YOU KNOW.
>> RIGHT, THE ESSENTIAL RESILIENCE THAT EVEN WHEN A
MANIAC IS AT THE WHEEL, ITS GUARD RAIL KEEPS YOU ON THE
MOUNT. >> YES, EXACTLY, ONCE KAL IG LA
WAS IN CHARGE IT WAS OVER FOR THAT EMPIRE, WE HAVE HAD MANY
CALI GHRKS ULAS AND HAD STILL ROLLING DOWN THE HIGHWAY RIGHT
NOW, A COUPLE OF LITTLE WHEELS ARE ON FIRE, YOU KNOW, MAYBE
THERE IS SMOKE COMING OUT OF THE DAB BOARD BUT IT IS SILL MOVING
FORWARD AND THAT'S WHAT IS BEAUTIFUL.
>> Stephen: DID IS A MESSAGE OF HOPE, MESSAGE OF HOPE.
>> IT REALLY IS. >> YOU HAVE A NEW MOVIE OUT THIS
FRIDAY. IT IS CALLED I LOVE MY DAD,
WHICH IS A LOVELY TITLE FOR A MOVIE.
BASED ON A TRUE STORY. TELL THE GOOD FOLKS WHAT THE
STORY IS. >> BAIFERL THE IT IS A FATHER
CATFISHES HIS SON, CATFISHES HIS OWN SON.
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED WAS THE WRITER, DIRECTOR AND COSTAR, THE
FILMMAKER, IS BRILLIANT N REAL LIFE, HE WAS IN HIS 20S, HE CUT
HIS FATHER OFF, BLOCKED HIS PHONE NUMBER, BLOCKED HIM ON
SOCIAL MEDIA. HIS FATHER WHO STILL WANTED TO
STAY IN CONTACT WITH HIM BECAUSE THE FATHER WAS MESSED UP BUT THE
SON WAS ALSO GOING THROUGH BAD STUFF.
SO IN REAL LIFE HE WAS CATFISHED BY HIS DAD.
HIS DAD CREATED A FACEBOOK PROFILE OF A CUTE YOUNG GIRL, SO
THEY COULD HAVE CONVERSATIONS BUT JAMES ACTUALLY KIND OF FELL
IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL, WHO WAS, YES.
AND SO THE MOVIE IS ABOUT WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO HIM.
IT IS A TRUE SLASH HORRIFYING STORY.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP HERE, WITH THE WONDERFUL RACHEL
DRABBING. >> RACHEL PLAYS MY-- SHE PLAYS
MY BOSS, SHE'S ALSO MY GIRLFRIEND AND I AM TRYING TO
GET HER TO PRETEND LIKE SHE IS THE GIRL ON A PHONE CALL WITH MY
SON BECAUSE HE'S DEMANDING, HE HASN'T TALKED TO HER YET,
PRETEND TO BE THE GIRL AND IT GOES BEAUTIFULLY.
>> IS THIS A GOOD TIME? >> YEAH, I WAS JUST-- YEAH, I
WAS LITERALLY JUST SNT MIDDLE OF-- YEAH, WHAT'S GOING ON.
>> HOW IS YOUR DAY GOING. >> PRETTY GOOD.
HOW IS IT GOING WITH YOU? >> WHAT ARE YOU WEARING.
>> JUST SWEATPANTS AND RED SOX SHIRT.
WHAT ABOUT YOU? >> JUST A DRESS.
>> OH, AWESOME. >> NO PANTIES.
SORRY. >> JUST GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER.
>> OH, HOPEFULLY DID YOU YOUR LAUNDRY SO THAT THERE ARE CLEAN
TOWELS. >> HMMMM, YOUR VOICE IS SEXY.
>> I'M ACTUALLY NOT GOOD ON THE PHONE, TO BE TOTALLY HONEST.
>> ME NEITHER. >> DO YOU WANT TO JUST MEET IN
PERSON. >> SURE, I WOULD LOVE TO.
SOUNDS GREAT, SEE YOU SOON. >> Stephen: I WILL SEE YOU, I
LOVE MY DAD WILL NORTHBOUND THEATER THIS FRIERKS IT'S PATTON
OSWALT, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
SECRETARY OF ENERGY JENNIFER GRANHOLM.
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW. MY NEXT GUEST MADE HISTORY AS
MICHIGAN'S FIRST FEMALE ATTORNEY GENERAL, AND AS MICHIGAN'S FIRST
FEMALE GOVERNOR. IN 2021 SHE BECAME THE SECRETARY
OF ENERGY FOR THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION.
PLEASE WELCOME, SECRETARY JENNIFER GRANHOLM
>> Stephen: HRTS, NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> GREAT TO SEE YOU. >> Stephen: BEEN A LONG TIME.
>> IT'S BEEN SO LONG. >> Stephen: NOW LAST WEEK
SENATOR MANCHIN SURPRISED EVERYBODY WITH THIS SIGNIFICANTS
CLIMATE BILL, AMONG OTHER THINGS IN THERE, A SIGNIFICANT PART OF
THE FUNDING FOR AN UNPRECEDENTED ADDRESSING THE CLIMATE CRISIS,
THIS BEING THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION, I HAVE TO ASK,
IS THIS A BIG DEAL OR IS THIS A BS DEAL.
>> THIS IS A BFD. >> Stephen: WHY.
>> FIRST OF ALL T IS AS YOU KNOW, HISTORIC BECAUSE IT IS THE
LARGEST AMOUNT THAT ANYBODY HAS EVER INVESTED IN THE UNITED
STATES AND ANY PRESIDENT HAS EVER INVESTED IN CLIMATE.
AND THE THING THAT IS GOING TO REALLY PUSH FORWARD THE
DEPLOYMENT OF CLEAN ENERGY ARE THE TAX CREDITS WHICH ARE
VERY-- WHICH WILL CREATE HUGE INCENTIVES FOR WIND AND SOLAR
AND GEOTHERMAL. >> WHAT IS EXCITING ABOUT A TAX
CREDIT? >> BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO GET THE
PRIVATE SECTOR TO BE ABLE TO HELP DO THE DEPLOYMENT, GOING TO
INCENTIVIZE THE DEPLOYMENT OF WIND AND SOLAR AND GEOTHERMAL.
IT IS AWESOME. IT'S SO GREAT.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, THAT I LIKE.
>> AND IT'S BIG, IT'S GENEROUS. >> Stephen: ITS DEAL WAS
CLOSELY GUARDED, OKAY. DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEA, BECAUSE
MITCH McCONNELL HAD NO IDEA THAT THIS WAS COMING.
DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WAS COMING DOWN THE PIPE.
>> LET'S JUST IS I I HAD TALKED WITH SENATOR MANCHIN THE WEEKEND
BEFORE, JUST A LITTLE BIT BEFORE AND HE WAS SAYING, YOU KNOW, I
DIDN'T WALK AWAY, BECAUSE REMEMBER INITIALLY THERE WAS A
STORY ABOUT HIM WALKING AWAY FROM HAVING DONE A DEAL AND
EVERYBODY WAS STILL SET AND HE WAS LIKE I DIDN'T WALK AWAY I
JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE IT IS NOT INFLATIONARY.
AND SO I'M NOT SURE WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN, SO IT TOLD ME
ITS DOOR WAS OPEN. AND CAME BACK T WAS VERY OPEN
AND THIS BILL NOT ONLY WILL YOU GET TAX CREDITS IF YOU WANT TO
PUT SOLAR ON YOUR ROOF, IF YOU WANT TO PUT HEAT PUMPS IN YOUR
HOME TO CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY AS
MUCH MONEY IN NATURAL GAS, WHERE YOU CAN BUY AN ELECTRIC VEHICLE
AND GET A $7500 TAX CREDIT OFF THE TOP, AT THE DEALERSHIP.
>> LET ME ASK YOU ABOUT THE ELECTRIC VEHICLE THING.
BECAUSE ELECTRIC VEHICLES ARE GREAT, THEY'RE FAST, THEIR'S
QUIET, SO MANY NICE THINGS ABOUT THEM.
WHAT IS ANYBODY DOING OUT THERE, I KNOW THIS IS SORT OF LIKE A
PUBLIC PRIVATE SITUATION WHEN IT COMES TO THESE CHARGERS AROUND
THE UNITED STATES. BUT IS ANYBODY DOING ANYTHING
ABOUT THEM CHARGING FASTER. >> YES, I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED.
TODAY ALL, WELL, 50 STATES PLUS WASHINGTON D.C. AND PUERTO RICO
SUBMITSED THEIR PLANS TO BE ABLE TO PUT ELECTRIC VEHICLE CHARGE
ERGS FAST CHARGERS IN ALL THE CHARGING CORRIDORS OF AMERICA,
THIS WAS PART OF THE PRESIDENT'S BIPARTISAN INFRASTRUCTURE LAW SO
THE GREAT NEWS IS THAT EVERY STATE IS PARTICIPATING, THE FAST
CHARGERS WHEN I SAY FAST, THEY HAVE TO BE FASTER PROBABLY THAN
ANYTHING THAT IS OUT THERE RIGHT NOW AND YOU KNOW, TO CHARGE IN
LIKE TEN MINUTES OR LESS, HAVE TO BE.
>> SERIOUSLY, CHARGERS BE ABLE TO CHARGE A CAR TEN MINUTES OR
LESS. >> YES.
AND THEY WILL BE ABLE TO BE EVERY 50 MILES ON THE MAIN
CORRIDORS, RIGHT. AND THEY HAVE TO BE AT LEAST
WITHIN ONE MILE OFF OF THE FREEWAY SO ACCESSIBLE IF YOU ARE
GOING LONG DISTANCE. >> Stephen: THAT IS A GAME
CHANGER BECAUSE THE THING THAT STOPS PEOPLE ELECTRIC CARS IS I
DON'T WANT TO WAIT THERE FOR 45 MINUTES TO GET TO THE NEXT TOWN.
>> ABSOLUTELY. AND SO THE FIRST PART OF THIS FUNDING IS THE 7
POIR 5 BILLION PORTION OF THE BIPARTISAN INFRASTRUCTURE LAW,
THE FIRST SPONSOR WAS $5 BILLION.
THAT'S WHAT WE WILL USE. THE SECOND PIECE WILL BE TO PUT
CHARGERS IN PLACES WHERE THE PRIVATE COMPANIES ARE NOT GOING.
SO FOR EXAMPLE IN RURAL AREAS, OR IN URBAN AREAS WHERE THERE
ISN'T A GREAT PENETRATION OF ELECTRIC VEHICLES YET.
MAYBE PEOPLE DON'T HAVE PLUGS IN THE GARAGES, MAYBE THEY DON'T
HAVE A GARAGE, MAYBE IT IS TOO EXPENSIVE IT IS A CHICKEN AND
EGG THINGS YOU ABOUT WE WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT CHARGING IS
UBIQUITOUS SO WE ARE REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT.
>> I WANT TO TALKER TO YOU ABOUT I WANT TO TALK TO SOMETHING
NEAR AND DEAR TO PEOPLE'S HEART AND THAT IS THE PRICE OF
GASOLINE. >> YEAH.
>> Stephen: IT IS DOWN FROM ITS EARLIER HIGHS BY WAS AROUND
$5, NOW AROUND 4.25. >> 4 BOY 21.
>> Stephen: STORY WHO IS COUNTING, YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE
THE SECRETARY OF ENERGY. BUR STILL UP FROM WHERE IT WAS
IN THE SUMMER OF 2019. SO AND YET AT THE SAME TIME OIL
COMPANIES ARE POSTING THEIR HIGHEST PROFITS OF ALL TIME.
50 BILLION DOLLARS IN PROFITS THIS QUARTER ALONE ACT ARE
MOSTLY SPENDING THAT ON SHAREHOLDER BUY BACKS,
GOVERNMENT SUBSIDIES ARE $15 BILLION A YEAR, ARE WE GOING
RIPPED OFF AND I WILL GIVE YOU A HINT, THE ANSWER IS YES.
HOW HOW ARE BOTH OF THESE POSSIBLE.
>> FIRST OF ALL, JUST TO BE CLEAR, THE PRICE OF GAS IS
DERIVED FROM OIL, SOIL TRADED ON A GLOBAL MARKET, WHEN PUTIN
INVADED UKRAINE, RUSSIA WAS ONE OF THE LARGEST EXPORTERS OF OIL.
WHEN COUNTRIES LIKE THE UNITED STATES AND CANADA AND EUROPE
SAID WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE RUSSIAN OIL, THAT PULLED
MILLIONS OF BARRELS OFF THE GLOBAL MARKET.
WHEN YOUR SUPPLY GOES DOWN AND YOU HAVE DEMAND GOING UP BECAUSE
ARE YOU COMING OUT OF COVID, THEN YOU HAVE THIS HUGE UPWARD
PRESSURE ON PRICES, NORMALLY WHEN THAT HAPPENS, YOU SEE THE
PRIVATE SECTOR RESPONDING. YOU SEE THEM INVESTING IN MORE
PRODUCTION SO THAT, BECAUSE IN FACT THEY PULLED SCORES OF
PRODUCTION OFFLINE DURING COVID BECAUSE PEOPLE WEREN'T DRIVING,
UNDERSTANDABLY, RIGHT. BUT WE HAVE BEEN ASKING THEM TO
INCREASE PRODUCTION NOW THAT WE HAVE THIS HUGE PROBLEM WITH THE
DIMINISHING OIL LEVELS BECAUSE OF THE WAR IN UKRAINE.
THEIR SHARE SHOARLDS-- SHAREHOLDERS, THIS IS
WHAT THEY SAY, THEIR SHAREHOLDER WANTS THEM TO DO SHAREHOLDER BUY
BACK INSTEAD OF INVESTING AND TURNING ON THE RIGS THAT WERE
ON. SO-- .
>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT OUR $15 BILLION, THAT IS OUR MONEY.
>> I KNOW, BELIEVE ME-- . >> Stephen: HOW DO WE GET THAT
BACK, BECAUSE THEY DON'T NEED IT.
>> IT IS CLEAR THAT WE AND THE PRESIDENT HAS SAID THIS, WE
SHOULD NOT BE SUBSIDIZING THE OIL & GAS INDUSTRY.
WE SHOULD NOT BE, AND HAS ASKED FOR CONGRESS TO UNDO THAT, RIGHT
WE NEED 50 VOTES TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT.
AND THAT IS NOT THERE YET. >> Stephen: NOT GOING HAPPEN.
>> NOT AT THIS MOMENT. BUT MAYBE THERE WILL BE MORE
PEOPLE WHO JOIN THE SENATE THAT HAVE OUR-- MAYBE, WE'LL SEE.
>> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY THERE IS CLIMATE CHANGE LEGISLATION, WHEN
IT COMES TO CLIMATE CHANGE ARE THERE PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE OIL WHO GET IT? WHO ARE SUPPORTIVE?
>> YEAH, THERE ARE, THERE ARE IS PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE WHO,
THEY SAY ST AN ALL OF THE ABOVE STRATEGY EO THEY ARE FOSSIL FUEL
DEVELOPMENT AND ALSO SUPPORTIVE OF CLEAN ENERGY.
ONE OF THOSE IS MEUR COWSKY. SHE HAS BEEN VERY SUPPORTIVE OF
THE DEVELOPMENT OF CLEAN ENERGY IN ALASKA.
AND-- APPARENTLY ALSO IN FAVOR OF ETHANOL BECAUSE WHAT ARE THE
TWO OF YOU DRINKING RIGHT HERE? >> WAIT, THIS IS A PICTURE OF US
AFTER WE VISITED THE PERMA FROST IN THE ALASKA, MEANING PERMANENT
FROST, IT'S MELTING. ALASKA HAS BEEN BUILT ON THE
PERMA FROST SO YOU GO INTO A PUN EL AND YOU CAN SEE THE MELTING
OF IT BECAUSE OF CLIMATE CHANGE. AND WHILE I WAS THERE IN ALASKA
SHE THEN TOOK ME TO AN ICE MUSEUM, MUSEUM.
>> Stephen: AN ICE MUSEUM. >> MUSEUM WHERE THERE WAS THIS
ICE BAR, WE'RE SITTING ON ICE AND WE'RE DRINKING APPLETINIS
OUT OF ICE GLASSES. >> Stephen: MADE OF ICE.
>> AT A GEOTHERMAL HOT SPRING. SO THERE WAS AN ENERGY COMPONENT
OF THE TRIP TOO. >> Stephen: SO YOU COULD
JUSTIFY THIS. >> YES SECRETARY, THANK YOU SO
MUCH FOR BEING MERE, LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
>> GREAT TO SEE YOU TOO. >> Stephen: ENERGIES SECRETARY
JENNIFER GRANHOLM, EVERYBODY. WELL'S BE RIGHT BACK.
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR THE LATE SHOW, EVERYBODY.
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE THE HOST OF GOD SAVE
AMERICA. GOOD NIGHT.