1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:04,871 >> WE BEGIN WITH THAT DRAMATIC ESCALATION IN DONALD TRUMP'S 2 00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:06,940 LEGAL PROBLEMS AS THE F.B.I. 3 00:00:07,006 --> 00:00:11,111 SEARCHED HIS ESTATE IN SOUTH FLORIDA YESTERDAY, UNANNOUNCED. 4 00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:17,817 THE FORMER PRESIDENT POSTED JUST BEFORE 7:00 P.M. LAST NIGHT THAT 5 00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:19,853 MAR-A-LAGO WAS "CURRENTLY UNDER SIEGE, RAIDED, AND OCCUPIED BY A 6 00:00:19,919 --> 00:00:22,422 LARGE GROUP OF F.B.I. AGENTS." 7 00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:25,859 >> IT IS LITERALLY HARD TO NARROW DOWN THE POTENTIAL 8 00:00:25,925 --> 00:00:27,861 FEDERAL CRIMES, WHICH POTENTIAL FEDERAL GRAND JURY INVESTIGATION 9 00:00:27,927 --> 00:00:31,865 THIS RAID MIGHT HAVE PERTAINED TO. 10 00:00:31,931 --> 00:00:36,770 >> IT'S TIME TO PLAY EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE GAME: "WHICH CRIME IS 11 00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:38,705 IT?" ( APPLAUSE ) 12 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:42,308 WE GIVE YOU A LEGAL ACTION AND YOU TRY TO GUESS WHICH OF THE 13 00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:46,045 FORMER PRESIDENT'S MANY CRIMES IT'S RELATED TO. 14 00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:50,183 YESTERDAY, THE F.B.I. RAIDED THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S HOME IN PALM 15 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:54,721 BEACH AND REMOVED MULTIPLE BOXES OF EVIDENCE. 16 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,990 THIS ACTION BY THE F.B.I. IS CLEARLY RELATED TO ONE OF THE 17 00:00:57,056 --> 00:01:00,126 FORMER PRESIDENT'S MANY CRIMES. 18 00:01:00,193 --> 00:01:02,762 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GUESS WHICH CRIME IS IT? 19 00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:04,998 TOM, YOU'RE UP. 20 00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:09,269 PICK THE CRIME ( BUZZER ) 21 00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:12,105 >> NO, IT WASN'T OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE. 22 00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:15,508 >> BING-BING, BONG-BONG! 23 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:19,946 >> YOU JUST HAVE TO PICK THE RIGHT CRIME HE COMMITTED. 24 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,816 SEXUAL ASSAULT, OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE, BRIBERY, DEFYING THE 25 00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:25,885 UNITED STATES, CAMPAIGN FINANCE, THE HATCH ACT, PORN STAR HUSH 26 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:28,655 MONEY, RUSSIAN COLLUSION, SEXUAL MISCONDUCT, UKRAINE BLACKMAIL, 27 00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:30,857 SEDITION, FAKE ELECTORS, ATTEMPTED COUP, TAX EVASION, 28 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,959 CHARITY SCAM, BANK FRAUD, DEFAMATION, OR REMOVING 29 00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:34,160 CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS. 30 00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:35,161 VIOLATION OF THE EMOLUMENTS CLAUSE, INCITING A RIOT, WITNESS 31 00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:39,966 TAMPERING. 32 00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:41,968 WOW, WE'RE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER BOARD. 33 00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:46,973 WHILE WE ADDRESS THAT, STAY TUNED FOR "CAN HE FLUSH IT?" 34 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,042 ( TOILET FLUSHING ) 35 00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:54,681 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 36 00:01:54,747 --> 00:02:02,422 TONIGHT: PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: 37 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:06,726 BEN STILLER AND D'ARCY CARDEN 38 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:11,931 FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN, WITH SPECIAL GUEST JOE 39 00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:14,334 WALSH. 40 00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:16,769 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 41 00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:23,676 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 42 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:38,858 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU, 43 00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:39,959 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU, 44 00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:40,793 MY FRIEND. 45 00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:44,130 HELLO, JOSEPH. 46 00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:44,731 HELLO, LOUIS. 47 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:45,732 HAPPY TUESDAY. 48 00:02:45,798 --> 00:02:47,934 HEY, EVERYBODY! 49 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,335 YEAH, YEAH. 50 00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:52,105 WELCOME, WELCOME ONE AND ALL. 51 00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:52,739 THANKS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 52 00:02:52,805 --> 00:02:53,439 WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW." 53 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,008 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 54 00:02:55,074 --> 00:02:56,276 IT IS-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 55 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:57,043 WHAT IS IT? 56 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,845 WHAT WAS IT TODAY? 57 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:01,281 IT WAS LIKE 96 DEGREES OUTSIDE. 58 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:04,450 THANK YOU ALL FOR STANDING UP IN THIS HEAT AND BEING HERE 59 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:05,251 TONIGHT. 60 00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:06,819 OF COURSE, IT MAY BE HOT OUT THERE-- 61 00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:10,423 ( APPLAUSE ) YOU'RE THE HEROES. 62 00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:11,457 STAY HYDRATED. 63 00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:17,397 IT MAY BE HOT OUTSIDE, BUT IN HERE IT'S CHRISTMAS. 64 00:03:17,463 --> 00:03:20,800 BECAUSE YESTERDAY, WE GOT THE PRESENT WE WANTED: 65 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,703 F.B.I. AGENTS RAIDED MAR-A-LAGO. 66 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:32,779 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) OH, MWAH! 67 00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:35,248 THAT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SENTENCE AMERICA HAS EVER 68 00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:36,416 PRODUCED. 69 00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:40,787 IT'S RIGHT UP THERE WITH "WE PUT CHEESE INSIDE THE CRUST." 70 00:03:40,853 --> 00:03:44,791 ( LAUGHTER ) HERE'S WHAT WE KNOW: EARLY 71 00:03:44,857 --> 00:03:46,025 MONDAY MORNING, THE F.B.I. 72 00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:47,260 EXECUTED A SEARCH WARRANT ON THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S OFFICES AND 73 00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:47,927 PERSONAL QUARTERS. 74 00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:50,163 I FEEL BAD FOR THOSE AGENTS. 75 00:03:50,229 --> 00:03:52,799 "SIR, I FINISHED SEARCHING THE CABINET FULL OF EMPTY CHICKEN 76 00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:53,933 BUCKETS. 77 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,136 WHERE SHOULD I GO NEXT? 78 00:03:57,203 --> 00:04:01,374 PLEASE DON'T SAY THE BATHROOM. 79 00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:02,709 PLEASE DON'T SAY THE BATHROOM. 80 00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:03,943 PLEASE DON'T SAY THE BATHROOM." 81 00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,411 SO WE KNOW THE RAID HAPPENED, BUT STILL WE'RE NOT SURE WHY THE 82 00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:06,546 RAID HAPPENED, BECAUSE WE DON'T YET KNOW WHAT WAS IN THE 83 00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:08,448 WARRANT. 84 00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:09,682 THINK ABOUT THAT. 85 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,952 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, 86 00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:15,922 OF AMERICA. 87 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,223 THE F.B.I. RAIDS HIS HOME, AND ALL WE CAN THINK IS, "HMM, I 88 00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:20,259 WONDER WHICH OF HIS CRIMES THEY'RE INVESTIGATING." 89 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:24,464 ( LAUGHTER ) BECAUSE HE'S DONE SO MANY, IT'S 90 00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:28,201 HARD-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 91 00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:33,840 AT THIS POINT, AT THIS POINT, HE CAN'T KEEP TRACK. 92 00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:35,842 "SIR, DO YOU KNOW WHY I PULLED YOU OVER?" 93 00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:36,409 "LET'S SEE. 94 00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:37,176 THE BODIES IN MY TRUNK? 95 00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:39,612 THE METH IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT? 96 00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:41,080 THE BACKSEAT FULL OF ILLEGAL SPIDER MONKEYS WHO DEFINITELY 97 00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:44,250 GOT INTO THE METH? 98 00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:44,951 NO? 99 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:45,318 OH, IT'S THE BUSTED TAIL LIGHT? 100 00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:48,621 FAIR ENOUGH. 101 00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:51,157 I WAS KIDDING ABOUT THE OTHER STUFF." 102 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:54,093 APPARENTLY THE F.B.I. RAID IS PART OF AN INVESTIGATION 103 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,596 LAUNCHED BY THE NATURAL ARCHIVES AND THE RECORDS ADMINISTRATION. 104 00:04:56,663 --> 00:05:06,973 THAT'S RIGHT, HE'S GOING TO GET TAKEN DOWN BY THE LIBRARIANS. 105 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,775 THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU, BABY! 106 00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:10,610 THEY'RE ORGANIZED, THEY KNOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS, AND YOU 107 00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:11,811 NEVER KNOW WHICH WAY THEY'RE COMIN' FROM, BECAUSE THEY'RE SO 108 00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,479 QUIET. 109 00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:16,616 ( APPLAUSE ) OKAY. 110 00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:17,950 THEY ARE SILENT BUT DEADLY. 111 00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:24,791 ( LAUGHTER ) HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED. 112 00:05:24,857 --> 00:05:27,593 BACK IN JANUARY, THE NATIONAL ARCHIVES DISCOVERED THAT WHEN HE 113 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:28,861 LEFT D.C. FOR MAR-A-LAGO, THE FORMER PRESIDENT TOOK 15 BOXES 114 00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:32,398 FROM THE WHITE HOUSE THAT CONTAINED GOVERNMENT DOCUMENTS, 115 00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:33,666 MEMENTOS, GIFTS, AND LETTERS. 116 00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:36,769 LETTERS LIKE CORRESPONDENCE WITH NORTH KOREAN LEADER KIM JONG-UN. 117 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,706 AND MEMENTOS LIKE TED CRUZ'S BALLS. 118 00:05:39,772 --> 00:05:41,941 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 119 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,343 JUST... 120 00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:50,650 LITTLE... LITTLE... JUST... 121 00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:54,520 HE CARRIES THEM IN AN OLD CROWN ROYAL BAG. 122 00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:55,722 THERE YOU GO. 123 00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:58,925 THERE YOU GO. 124 00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:02,495 ALL THIS IS PERFECTLY INNOCENT ACCORDING TO FORMER SECOND FIRST 125 00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:07,100 SON, ERIC, SEEN HERE SAYING, "WHO'S GOT TWO THUMBS AND THINKS 126 00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:12,872 THIS IS ONE OF THEM?" 127 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:17,944 >> LAST NIGHT HE SAID THIS ON THE FOX NEWS: 128 00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:19,312 >> THEY WILL PROBABLY FIND A NOTE FROM ME TELLING HIM HOW 129 00:06:19,378 --> 00:06:20,780 PROUD I AM OF HIM AND WHAT A GREAT JOB HE WAS DOING AS 130 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:23,149 PRESIDENT. 131 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,784 ( LAUGHTER ) ( AS ERIC ) 132 00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:28,855 "HEY, F.B.I., DID YOU FIND MY NOTE TELLING MY DAD HOW PROUD I 133 00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:29,956 AM OF HIM? 134 00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:34,093 DID YOU FIND A NOTE OF HIM SAYING HOW PROUD HE IS OF ME 135 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:39,932 ( LAUGHTER ) KEEP LOOKING! 136 00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:40,800 THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE! 137 00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:43,202 AND IN HERE." 138 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:47,940 ( LAUGHTER ) THERE WAS ONE INCONSISTENCY TO 139 00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:49,408 ERIC'S STORY ABOUT HOW THE FORMER-- 140 00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,544 ( APPLAUSE ) REALLY? 141 00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:52,445 WOW. 142 00:06:52,512 --> 00:07:01,988 IT'S BEEN A LONG-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 143 00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:04,791 THERE WAS ONE INCONSISTENCY TO ERIC'S STORY ABOUT HOW THE 144 00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:07,927 FORMER PRESIDENT LEARNED ABOUT THE RAID YESTERDAY MORNING. 145 00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:08,928 SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT IT. 146 00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:11,931 >> YOU WERE WITH YOUR DAD AS THIS WAS UNFOLDING? 147 00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:16,569 >> I WAS. 148 00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:17,937 IN FACT, I WAS THE GUY THAT GOT THE CALL THIS MORNING, 149 00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:20,640 AND I CALLED MY FATHER AND LET HIM KNOW THAT IT HAPPENED. 150 00:07:20,706 --> 00:07:23,943 >> Stephen: SO YOU WERE WITH YOUR DAD YESTERDAY MORNING AS IT 151 00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:29,248 WAS UNFOLDING, AND YOU GOT THE CALL THAT IT WAS HAPPENING, SO 152 00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:32,785 YOU CALLED HIM TO TELL HIM IT WAS HAPPENING? 153 00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:34,554 FROM THE SAME ROOM? 154 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,055 ( LAUGHTER ) ( AS ERIC ) 155 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,491 "HOLD ON, IT WENT TO VOICEMAIL. 156 00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:41,928 HE'S NOT PICKING UP. 157 00:07:41,994 --> 00:07:45,865 DAD. 158 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:46,632 DAD, IT'S ME. 159 00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:48,768 DAD, IT'S ME OVER HERE. 160 00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:53,172 DAD, IT'S ME, YOUR SON, BUT NOT THE ONE YOU LIKE. 161 00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:54,674 THE OTHER ONE. 162 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:56,776 I HAVE SOME TERRIBLE NEWS. 163 00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,878 I'M IN THE ROOM WITH YOU." 164 00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:00,780 NOW, WE LEARNED THE NEWS OF THE F.B.I. RAID STRAIGHT FROM THE 165 00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:04,784 HORSE'S ASS, BECAUSE THE FORMER PRESIDENT POSTED THE NEWS ON 166 00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:12,425 SOCIAL MEDIA: "THESE ARE DARK TIMES FOR OUR 167 00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:14,560 NATION, AS MY BEAUTIFUL HOME, MAR-A-LAGO, IN PALM BEACH, 168 00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:16,529 FLORIDA, IS CURRENTLY UNDER SIEGE, RAIDED AND OCCUPIED BY A 169 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:17,663 LARGE GROUP OF F.B.I. AGENTS. 170 00:08:17,730 --> 00:08:20,333 NOTHING LIKE THIS HAS EVER HAPPENED TO A PRESIDENT OF THE 171 00:08:20,399 --> 00:08:20,933 UNITED STATES BEFORE." 172 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,970 WELL, OF COURSE IT HASN'T! 173 00:08:24,036 --> 00:08:25,638 NO PRESIDENT HAS EVER BEEN AS CRIMINAL AS YOU ARE. 174 00:08:25,705 --> 00:08:29,075 AND I'M INCLUDING PRESIDENT EUSTACE T. STABBER. 175 00:08:29,141 --> 00:08:32,511 ( LAUGHTER ) SO MULTIPLE... 176 00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:44,023 ( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERING ) 177 00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:47,193 TIPAKANOO, AND STAB YOU, TOO! 178 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,461 SO, MULTIPLE F.B.I. AGENTS SEARCHED THE ENTIRE PROPERTY, 179 00:08:48,527 --> 00:08:51,297 EVEN GOT INTO HIS PERSONAL SAFE, WHICH PROMPTED THE FORMER 180 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,832 PRESIDENT TO WRITE: "WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 181 00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:56,802 THIS AND WATERGATE, WHERE OPERATIVES BROKE INTO THE 182 00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:59,939 DEMOCRAT NATIONAL COMMITTEE?" WELL, FIRST, WATERGATE WAS DICK 183 00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,173 NIXON BREAKING THE LAW. 184 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,777 THIS WAS THE LAW BREAKING IN ON A DICK. 185 00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:08,781 ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 186 00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:23,262 SECOND-- SECOND, WATERGATE WAS AN ILLEGAL 187 00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:24,230 BURGLARY BY POLITICAL MERCENARIES CALLED "THE 188 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,966 PLUMBERS." 189 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,402 THIS WAS THE F.B.I. WITH A LEGAL WARRANT, SIGNED BY A JUDGE, 190 00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:32,338 BECAUSE OF EVIDENCE OF PROBABLE CAUSE. 191 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:35,942 YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT, BUT IT'S HOW THE GOVERNMENT WORKS. 192 00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:36,943 THE SAME REASON YOU DON'T HEAR 911 CALLS THAT GO: 193 00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:38,344 "HELP! 194 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,745 I'VE BEEN ROBBED! 195 00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:40,947 THE I.R.S. HAS BEEN STEALING SMALL AMOUNTS REGULARLY FROM ALL 196 00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:44,417 OF MY PAYCHECKS!" ( LAUGHTER ) 197 00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:54,961 ( APPLAUSE ) COME QUICKLY! 198 00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:57,763 WHILE THE FORMER PRESIDENT-- WHILE THE FORMER PRESIDENT IS 199 00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:59,932 UNDER FIRE, OUR CURRENT ONE IS ON A HOT STREAK. 200 00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:05,404 BIDEN'S CLIMATE AND HEALTHCARE BILL JUST PASSED THE SENATE, GAS 201 00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:08,774 PRICES-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 202 00:10:08,841 --> 00:10:14,180 GAS PRICES ARE DROPPING EVERY DAY, AND HE DONE BLOWED UP ONE 203 00:10:14,246 --> 00:10:16,515 OF THE WORLD'S TOP TERRORISTS, AND THIS MORNING, HE SIGNED 204 00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:17,950 LEGISLATION THAT BOOSTS DOMESTIC SEMICONDUCTOR MANUFACTURING, 205 00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:20,786 CALLED THE CHIPS BILL. 206 00:10:20,853 --> 00:10:23,956 WELL, THE INTERNET HAS TAKEN NOTICE, AND NOW THERE'S A NEW 207 00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:28,828 MEME OUT THERE KNOWN AS "DARK BRANDON," WHICH SHOWS 208 00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:32,765 A BAD-ASS BIDEN WITH SUPER-VILLAIN LASERBEAM 209 00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:35,935 EYEBALLS. 210 00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:38,838 ( APPLAUSE ) IT'S FUN, IT'S SPOOKY, AND IT'S 211 00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:41,307 A COOL ADDITION TO HIS OTHER SUPERPOWER: THE ABILITY TO SLOW 212 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:44,610 TIME WHILE TELLING A STORY ABOUT THE FIRE AT THE OL' SCRANTON 213 00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:45,578 TAFFY FACTORY. 214 00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:48,781 ( LAUGHTER ) LAST NIGHT, I LEARNED ABOUT THE 215 00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:52,785 DARK BRANDON MEME FROM THE YOUTH: CONNECTICUT SENATOR 216 00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:53,953 CHRIS MURPHY. 217 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:56,789 AFTER THE PASSAGE OF THE BILL, YOU TWEETED THIS IMAGE OF 218 00:10:56,856 --> 00:10:59,325 PRESIDENT BIDEN. 219 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:01,994 ( LAUGHING ) >> I'M NOT GOING TO TRY TO 220 00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:03,062 EXPLAIN THAT MEME. 221 00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:05,364 >> Stephen: AND YOU DON'T NEED TO, BECAUSE I GET IT. 222 00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:08,768 YOU PASS A BIG BILL, YOU POST A DANK MEME. 223 00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:10,936 REMEMBER, WHEN OBAMACARE PASSED, THE SENATE PARLIAMENTARIAN 224 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,772 TWEETED: "EHRMARGERHD AFFERHDERBLE 225 00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:16,776 HEARTHCUR!" OF COURSE-- 226 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:24,784 ( APPLAUSE ) OF COURSE, THE "BRANDON" PART OF 227 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:28,854 "DARK BRANDON" IS CO-OPTED FROM THE RIGHT-WING MEME "LET'S GO 228 00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:38,297 BRANDON," A PHRASE THAT (BLEEP) JOE BIDEN." 229 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,766 BUT AFTER ALL THAT HE'S ACCOMPLISHED LATELY, IT'S MORE 230 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:47,940 LIKE: JOE BIDEN (BEEPS). 231 00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:50,543 ( APPLAUSE ) SO IT'S A TOTAL TURNAROUND FOR 232 00:11:50,609 --> 00:11:52,478 JOE: HE'S MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER, FULL OF MYSTERIOUS DARK 233 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:56,782 ENERGY, AND NOTHING CAN STOP HIM. 234 00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:59,952 EXCEPT MAYBE HIS JACKET, BECAUSE HERE HE IS YESTERDAY IN 235 00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:08,027 KENTUCKY, STRUGGLING WITH THE WIND TO FIND THE OL' MR. ARM 236 00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:08,661 HOLE. 237 00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:09,295 IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU, JOE. 238 00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:11,964 C'MON JOE, 110% YOU GOT IT. 239 00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:12,765 PUT IT ALL ON THE FIELD. 240 00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:16,502 YOU CAN DO IT, BUDDY. 241 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,203 NO, HE CAN'T. 242 00:12:17,269 --> 00:12:17,770 IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE? 243 00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:18,237 THERE IT IS. 244 00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:19,772 THAT'S THE POCKET. 245 00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:20,773 WHERE IS IT? 246 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:21,674 COME ON. 247 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:24,777 YOU CAN DO IT! 248 00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:28,481 THERE'S MR. ARM HOLE. 249 00:12:28,547 --> 00:12:28,981 JACKET BACK BETTER! 250 00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:32,785 COME ON, BABY, BOOM! 251 00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:36,789 ( APPLAUSE ) HEART RACING. 252 00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:38,757 THANKFULLY, THAT WAS THE END OF THE PRESIDENT'S ACCESSORY 253 00:12:38,824 --> 00:12:41,994 TROUBLES, UNTIL TWO SECONDS LATER, WHEN THIS HAPPENED: 254 00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:47,066 HE'S WALKIN', EVERYTHING'S COOL, WE RECOVERED FROM THE JACKET 255 00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:47,666 OH! 256 00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:52,771 AND THERE GO THE GLASSES! 257 00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:53,973 "WHO HIT ME? 258 00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:55,007 "WHO HIT ME? 259 00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:55,975 C'MON, SHOW YOUR FACE, JACK! 260 00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:59,979 NO FAIR PLAYING TRICKS ON OL' PAPPY JOE. JILL? 261 00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:00,412 JILL! 262 00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:01,747 COME ON, BABY. 263 00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:02,248 LET'S DO IT. 264 00:13:02,314 --> 00:13:06,652 ALL RIGHT, THIS WAY. 265 00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,787 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 266 00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:10,289 MY GUESTS ARE BEN STILLER AND D'ARCY CARDEN. 267 00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:13,526 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, SPACE NEWS! 268 00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:14,093 COME ON! 269 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,162 COME ON, BUDDY! 270 00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:04,076 >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 271 00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:09,882 GIVE IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO AND THE BAND AND MR. JOE WALSH! 272 00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:10,416 MY GOODNESS! 273 00:14:10,482 --> 00:14:20,359 MY GOODNESS! 274 00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:22,027 ( APPLAUSE ) LOUIS, WE HAVE A COUPLE OF 275 00:14:22,094 --> 00:14:23,195 AMAZING PEOPLE OUT HERE TONIGHT. 276 00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:27,499 WE HAVE THE ONE, THE ONLY, MR. BEN STIRL IS GOING TO BE OUT 277 00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:28,167 HERE IN JUST A MOMENT. 278 00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:29,301 >> Louis: THAT'S RIGHT. 279 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:32,905 >> Stephen: ACTOR, WRITER, DIRECTOR, COMEDIAN DIRECTOR OF 280 00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:36,875 THE NEW SERIES "SEVERANCE," NOMINATED FOR 14 EMMYS, COMING 281 00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:38,744 OUT HERE. 282 00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,646 AND WONDERFUL COMEDIAN D'ARCY CARDEN WILL BE OUT HERE A LITTLE 283 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:41,647 BIT LATER. 284 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,282 >> Louis: YEAH! 285 00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:46,185 >> Stephen: BUT OF COURSE, OF COURSE, OUR FIRST GUEST THIS 286 00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:52,157 EVENING ALL WEEK IS MR. JOE WALSH RIGHT OVER THERE. 287 00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:57,029 ( APPLAUSE ) YOU'RE BLOWING-- YOU'RE BLOWING 288 00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:57,997 A LITTLE ENERGY. 289 00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:00,466 YOU'RE BRINGING SOME OXYGEN INTO THE ROOM SIR. 290 00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:02,468 THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. 291 00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:05,337 AND AND I HAVE 'OMETHING IN COMMON, FRIENDO, AND THAT IS-- 292 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,439 CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS PHOTO? 293 00:15:07,506 --> 00:15:09,008 WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT THERE? 294 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,175 WHAT'S HAPPENING THERE? 295 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:15,714 >> WELL, I RAN FOR PRESIDENT IN 1980. 296 00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:18,284 >> Stephen: I RAN FOR FROM THE 2007. 297 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,152 HOW DID YOURS GO? 298 00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:24,390 >> UH, WELL, THERE WAS ABOUT 20 CONFIRMED VOTES. 299 00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:28,160 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: 20 CONFIRMED-- 20 300 00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:29,161 CONFIRMED VOTES. 301 00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:31,263 DID YOU CONTEST-- DID YOU CONTEST THE ELECTION. 302 00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:34,166 >> I WANTED A RECALL, BUT THEY DIDN'T DO THAT BACK THEN. 303 00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:36,969 >> Stephen: WHAT WAS YOUR PLATFORM, JOE? 304 00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:38,370 >> FREE GAS. 305 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,138 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 306 00:15:39,204 --> 00:15:41,340 >> Stephen: YOU GET ELECTED, BABY. 307 00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:42,608 YOU GET ELECTED NOW. 308 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:44,910 >> VOTE FOR ME! 309 00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:45,944 FILL HER UP! 310 00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,379 WHAT WAS YOUR PLATFORM? 311 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,615 >> Stephen: I GOTTA ASK, HOW OLD ARE YOU HERE? 312 00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:52,785 BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT TO BE 35 YEARS OLD TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT. 313 00:15:52,851 --> 00:15:55,888 >> OH, I WAS 35. 314 00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:57,056 ( LAUGHTER ). 315 00:15:57,122 --> 00:16:00,993 >> Stephen: WOULD YOU SAY-- WOULD YOU SAY THAT UNDER OATH, 316 00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:02,795 JOE? 317 00:16:02,861 --> 00:16:04,129 >> SURE! 318 00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:10,169 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 319 00:16:10,235 --> 00:16:11,070 OF COURSE! 320 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:16,175 >> Stephen: GOOD ENOUGH. 321 00:16:16,241 --> 00:16:19,778 NOW, FOLKS, I LOVE SPACE. 322 00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:20,979 I WISH MY CLOSET HAD MORE OF IT. 323 00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:28,187 SO, TONIGHT, I'M BRINGING YOU THE LATEST INSTALLMENT OF... 324 00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:34,159 "SPACE NEWS!" FIRST UP ON "SPACE NEWS": 325 00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:45,270 ( APPLAUSE ) SLIGHT DELAY ON THE BUTTON 326 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:46,171 TONIGHT! 327 00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:48,574 ( LAUGHTER ) HAVE THOSE WIRES CHECKED, MY 328 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:49,208 FRIEND. 329 00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:50,376 IT'S ALWAYS CONSPONTANEOUS. 330 00:16:50,442 --> 00:16:55,547 ALL THIS CLAPPING IS ALWAYS SPONTANEOUS. 331 00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:58,183 FIRST UP: MOON CITY NEWS! 332 00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:08,327 ( APPLAUSE ) >> WHY DOES IT KEEP HAPPENING?" 333 00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:10,162 >> Stephen: A TEAM AT KYOTO 334 00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:12,564 UNIVERSITY IN JAPAN DROPPED A NEW CONCEPT FOR A CITY ON THE 335 00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:14,299 MOON THAT IS A SUSTAINABLE AND COMPLETELY HABITABLE ENVIRONMENT 336 00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:15,000 FOR HUMANS. 337 00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:17,736 LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS CITY. 338 00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:24,977 WOW, IT'S GOT TREES, IT'S GOT WATER, IT'S GOT GRASS. 339 00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:30,182 THE ONLY DOWNSIDE IS, IT COMES PRE-POPULATED BY THE 340 00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:32,017 GHOSTS OF THE PEOPLE WHO DIED BUILDING IT. 341 00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:33,285 ANOTHER PART OF THE PROPOSAL TEASES A HEXAGON SPACE TRACK 342 00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:35,220 THAT COULD SERVE AS A BULLET-TRAIN-STYLE TRAVEL LINK 343 00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:36,989 BETWEEN THE EARTH, THE MOON, AND MARS. 344 00:17:37,055 --> 00:17:41,493 GREAT, SO MARS IS GOING TO GET HIGH-SPEED RAIL BEFORE AMERICA. 345 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:48,934 I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING TO BE PISSED IF I FIND OUT JUPITER HAS 346 00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:56,608 UNIVERSAL PRE-P NEXT UP, CURED SPACE MEAT! 347 00:17:56,675 --> 00:18:00,946 >> ( PIG SQUEALING ) 348 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:04,149 LAST WEEK, ETIENNE KLEIN, A FRENCH PHYSICIST, HAD A LITTLE 349 00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:08,954 FUN ON TWITTER, POSTING THIS PHOTO, WHICH HE LABELED "PROXIMA 350 00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:14,726 CENTAURI, THE NEAREST STAR TO THE SUN, TAKEN BY THE JAMES WEBB 351 00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,128 TELESCOPE," WHICH HE LATER REVEALED WAS ACTUALLY JUST A 352 00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:18,664 SLICE OF CHORIZO. 353 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:21,800 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 354 00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,635 NOW, IN HIS DEFENSE, HE WAS JUST POINTING OUT WHEN THE MOON HITS 355 00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:26,505 YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT'S A-STRONOMY. 356 00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:28,140 AND IT'S FITTING. 357 00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:32,945 THE ONLY THING MORE MYSTERIOUS THAN THE ORIGIN OF THE UNIVERSE 358 00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:34,146 IS WHAT'S IN CHORIZO. 359 00:18:34,213 --> 00:18:37,182 I'M GUESSING, CRUSHED RED PEPPER AND EAR LOBE? 360 00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:40,152 I DON'T CARE, IT'S DELICIOUS. 361 00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:44,223 BUT HE FELT BAD BECAUSE HE USUALLY RESERVES HIS TWITTER 362 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,659 FEED FOR HARD SCIENCE, SAYING, "I FEEL COMPELLED TO CLARIFY 363 00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:49,528 THAT THIS TWEET SHOWING AN ALLEGED SNAPSHOT OF PROXIMA 364 00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:52,831 CENTAURI WAS A FORM OF AMUSEMENT. 365 00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:55,334 THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE MADE A JOKE." 366 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,035 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 367 00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:57,503 REALLY? 368 00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:07,779 FIRST TIME. 369 00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:08,947 GOT TO SAY, THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD FIRST JOKE. 370 00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:10,249 AND I HOPE HE EXPLAINS WHAT NUMBER JOKE HE'S TELLING EACH 371 00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:12,951 TIME HE TELLS ONE. 372 00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:14,686 "ZEES EES THE SECOND TIME I HAVE MADE A JOKE. 373 00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:19,391 NOW, PLEASE PREPARE FOR MY THIRD JOKE. 374 00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,994 BUT I MUST WARN YOU, MONSIEURS ET MADAMES, IT REGARDS THE 375 00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:24,930 MYSTERY OF WHY A CHICKEN WOULD HAVE SUCH A CAVALIER ATTITUDE 376 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,133 TOWARD TRAFFIC SAFETY." 377 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:36,475 ( LAUGHTER ) AND, FINALLY, ENGLAND IN SPACE! 378 00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:37,409 ( APPLAUSE ). 379 00:19:37,476 --> 00:19:46,151 >> WE DRIVE ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE GALAXY. 380 00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:47,419 >> Stephen: THE FIRST ROCKET TO LAUNCH FROM U.K. SOIL WILL BLAST 381 00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:48,587 OFF LATER THIS SUMMER. 382 00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:49,288 AND IF THE QUEEN HAS ANY SAY IN THE MATTER, PRINCE ANDREW 383 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:51,523 WILL BE ON IT. 384 00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:56,428 ( LAUGHTER ) THE LOCAL COMMUNITY HAS HIGH 385 00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:57,596 HOPES THAT THE SPACEPORT WILL BE A SIGNIFICANT BOOST TO THE 386 00:19:57,663 --> 00:20:00,933 ECONOMY OF CORNWALL. 387 00:20:00,999 --> 00:20:03,068 AND I HAVE HIGH HOPES THAT THIS WILL LEAD TO CHARMING ENGLISH 388 00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:08,407 SPACE NAMES LIKE: COMETSBOTTOM. 389 00:20:08,473 --> 00:20:09,074 SHROPSFORD UPON NEPTUNE. 390 00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:12,210 AND, THE BENEDICT CUMBERBELT. 391 00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:14,279 FOLKS, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH BEN STILLER. 392 00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:44,743 >> Stephen: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME BACK TO "THE 393 00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:50,983 LATE SHOW"" ALREADY IN PROGRESS. 394 00:20:51,049 --> 00:20:53,051 FOLKS, MY FIRST GUEST IS AN ACTOR AND DIRECTOR YOU KNOW FROM 395 00:20:53,118 --> 00:20:54,252 "ZOOLANDER," "TROPIC THUNDER," AND "ESCAPE AT DANNEMORA." 396 00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:56,254 HE NOW DIRECTS AND PRODUCES "SEVERANCE," WHICH IS NOMINATED 397 00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:57,322 FOR 14 EMMY AWARDS. 398 00:20:57,389 --> 00:21:02,961 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," BEN STILLER. 399 00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:05,697 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 400 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:10,969 ♪ THE THRILL HAS GONE THE THRILL HAS GONE AWAY 401 00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:13,038 ♪ OH, THE THRILL HAS GONE ♪ >> JOE WALSH! 402 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,783 >> Stephen: JOE WALSH, ISN'T THAT EXTRAORDINARY. 403 00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:27,953 >> HI, GUY S. 404 00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,488 >> Stephen: IT'S LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 405 00:21:29,554 --> 00:21:31,657 >> YOU, TOO! 406 00:21:31,723 --> 00:21:34,059 >> Stephen: COVID SEEMS TO HAVE TREATED YOU WELL. 407 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,527 YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. 408 00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:36,962 >> THANKS. 409 00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:37,963 THANK YOU. 410 00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:39,631 >> Stephen: SO, LIKE, HOW HAS YOUR SUMMER BEEN? 411 00:21:39,698 --> 00:21:41,466 >> IT'S BEEN GOOD. 412 00:21:41,533 --> 00:21:44,136 YEAH, YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST HANGING OUT WITH THE FAMILY AND 413 00:21:44,202 --> 00:21:46,238 HAVING-- I WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK ON SOMETHING THIS SUMMER THAT 414 00:21:46,304 --> 00:21:50,676 DIDN'T HAPPEN SO I HAD A LOT OF GREAT FAMILY TIME. 415 00:21:50,742 --> 00:21:51,643 IT'S AMAZING. 416 00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:52,444 >> HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE? 417 00:21:52,511 --> 00:21:53,945 >> I HAVE TWO KIDS. 418 00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:56,081 MY DAUGHTER IS 20 AND MY SON IS 17. 419 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,650 YEAH, THIS SUMMER MY DAUGHTER GOT HER DRIVER'S LICENSE, AND 420 00:21:58,717 --> 00:22:03,255 THAT WAS A BIG DEAL BECAUSE I HELPED HER LEARN TO DRIVE. 421 00:22:03,321 --> 00:22:04,423 >> Stephen: WOW. 422 00:22:04,489 --> 00:22:05,524 I'VE BEEN THERE. 423 00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:09,928 -- I-- TAUGHT THE KIDS TO DRIVE IN OUR FAMILY IT'S SO 424 00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:10,495 NERVE-RACKING. 425 00:22:10,562 --> 00:22:12,064 >> IT IS NERVE-RACKING. 426 00:22:12,130 --> 00:22:14,933 BUT IT'S A NICE FAMILIA THING TO DO. 427 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,936 MY DAD TAUGHT ME TO DRIVE. 428 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,004 IT COULD GO BAD AT ANY TIME. 429 00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:20,372 >> Stephen: WERE YOU GOOD ABOUT IT? 430 00:22:20,439 --> 00:22:22,941 I WAS TERRIBLE ABOUT IT? 431 00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:24,743 >> I TRY TO BE CALM. 432 00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:27,679 THE THING IS WE WERE IN NEW YORK AND SHE WANTED TO GET A LOT OF 433 00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:29,347 HOURS IN, SHE WAS SORT OF CRAM AGO. 434 00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:30,148 >> Stephen: IN NEW YORK? 435 00:22:30,215 --> 00:22:31,750 YOU TAUGHT HER TO DRIVE IN NEW YORK? 436 00:22:31,817 --> 00:22:32,984 >> YES. 437 00:22:33,051 --> 00:22:36,354 >> Stephen: WOW, WHY DON'T YOU JUST TEACH HER TO DRIVE IN ROME? 438 00:22:36,421 --> 00:22:38,256 >> IT'S NOT THAT FAR OFF. 439 00:22:38,323 --> 00:22:41,793 WEST SIDE HIGHWAY IS LITERALLY LIKE "MAD MAX FURY ROAD." 440 00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:45,230 TO TEACH A PERSON TO DRIVE -- >> Stephen: WITNESS ME! 441 00:22:45,297 --> 00:22:50,969 >> NO, IT'S CRAZY, AND THERE ARE CABS JUMP OVER YOU TO GET TO THE 442 00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:52,104 125th STREET EXIT. 443 00:22:52,170 --> 00:22:54,840 AND SHE'S IN THAT AND SHE WAS DOING REALLY WELL WITH IT. 444 00:22:54,906 --> 00:22:57,809 WHAT REALLY HELPED IS WE PLAYED HER FAVORITE ARTIST ON THE 445 00:22:57,876 --> 00:23:03,381 IPHONE, AND WE JUST PLAYED TAYLOR SWIFT. 446 00:23:03,448 --> 00:23:05,951 WE WOULD DRIVE AND PLAY TAYLOR SWIFT. 447 00:23:06,017 --> 00:23:10,822 I WAS A FAN, BUT NOW I THINK I'M A TOTAL SWIFTIE. 448 00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:11,389 >> Stephen: SURE. 449 00:23:11,456 --> 00:23:12,324 ( APPLAUSE ). 450 00:23:12,390 --> 00:23:14,392 >> BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU GET DEEP INTO IT. 451 00:23:14,459 --> 00:23:20,332 WE GOT INTO THE LATER STUFF, FOLKLORE, ABOUT CARDIGAN BETTY 452 00:23:20,398 --> 00:23:23,268 AND AUGUST ALL BEING ABOUT THE SAME LOVE TRIANGLE BUT FROM 453 00:23:23,335 --> 00:23:24,202 DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW. 454 00:23:24,269 --> 00:23:25,537 >> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY, OBVIOUSLY. 455 00:23:25,604 --> 00:23:27,606 >> AND THE CHARACTERS ARE NAMED AFTER RYAN REYNOLD'S AND BLAKE 456 00:23:36,014 --> 00:23:38,483 >> Stephen: I DROVE WITH MY DAUGHTER AND MY SOWN FROM NEW 457 00:23:38,550 --> 00:23:42,587 YORK TO CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA, WHERE I'M FROM FOR 458 00:23:42,654 --> 00:23:47,959 CHRISTMASTIME AND WE L . TO "EVER MORE" THE ENTIRE 14-HOUR 459 00:23:48,026 --> 00:23:50,395 OBVIOUSLY, MUTTERING THOSE LYRICS ON MY DEATH BED. 460 00:23:50,462 --> 00:23:52,330 IT'S NICE YOU WERE GOOD ABOUT IT. 461 00:23:52,397 --> 00:23:53,298 YOU DIDN'T FREAK OUT. 462 00:23:53,365 --> 00:23:55,967 >> NO, IT WOULD CALM HER AND IT WOULD CALM ME. 463 00:23:56,034 --> 00:23:57,836 AND SHE PASSED HER TEST. 464 00:23:57,903 --> 00:24:00,438 IT'S HARD, BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO DO PARALLEL PARKING. 465 00:24:00,505 --> 00:24:02,340 >> Stephen: EVERYONE HAS TO DO PARALLEL PARKING. 466 00:24:02,407 --> 00:24:05,577 >> BUT NOW-- BUT NOW YOU HAVE HELP BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE 467 00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:06,278 MONITOR IN THE CAR, MOST CARS. 468 00:24:06,344 --> 00:24:07,679 >> Stephen: OH, SO IT'S EASY. 469 00:24:07,746 --> 00:24:09,981 >> YEAH, BUT BACK IN THE OLD DAYS -- 470 00:24:10,048 --> 00:24:13,985 >> Stephen: WE HAD TO DO IT BLINDFOLDED. 471 00:24:14,052 --> 00:24:17,556 IT WAS LIKE SPARTACUS-- THERE WERE SPINNING BLADES IN THE CAR. 472 00:24:17,622 --> 00:24:19,191 >> IT'S AN INTENSE THING. 473 00:24:19,257 --> 00:24:21,493 SO I WAS REALLY HAPPY THAT SHE PASS. 474 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,829 >> Stephen: YOU'VE DONE SOME TRAVELING RECENTLY. 475 00:24:23,895 --> 00:24:25,197 YOU WERE IN UKRAINE. 476 00:24:25,263 --> 00:24:26,298 >> YES. 477 00:24:26,364 --> 00:24:27,966 >> Stephen: THIS PAST SPRING? 478 00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:29,501 >> YES, MAYBE SIX WEEKS AGO. 479 00:24:29,568 --> 00:24:31,469 >> Stephen: SO IT WAS NOT THAT LONG AGO. 480 00:24:31,536 --> 00:24:34,673 AND YOU GOT A CHANCE TO MEET THIS FELLOW. 481 00:24:34,739 --> 00:24:35,473 >> YES. 482 00:24:35,540 --> 00:24:37,175 >> Stephen: WHEN YOU WERE OVER THERE. 483 00:24:37,242 --> 00:24:43,715 ( APPLAUSE ) HOW LONG DID YOU GET TO SPEND 484 00:24:43,782 --> 00:24:44,549 WITH HIM? 485 00:24:44,616 --> 00:24:46,651 >> WE SPENT ABOUT 45 MINUTES TOGETHER. 486 00:24:46,718 --> 00:24:50,789 I WAS THERE WITH U.N. REFUGEE AGENCY, BECAUSE I'M A GOOD WILL 487 00:24:50,856 --> 00:24:54,192 AMBASSADOR AND I GO AND VISIT PLACES WHERE PEOPLE ARE 488 00:24:54,259 --> 00:24:55,327 DISPLACED BY WAR. 489 00:24:55,393 --> 00:25:00,999 >> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT JUST KNOCKING ON DOORS, "I'M BEN 490 00:25:01,066 --> 00:25:01,700 TIRL." 491 00:25:01,766 --> 00:25:03,235 >> AND I WASN'T OFFERING ADVICE. 492 00:25:03,301 --> 00:25:05,303 >> Stephen: WHAT WAS YOUR IMPRESSION OF THE GENTLEMAN? 493 00:25:05,370 --> 00:25:06,571 >> I WAS IMPRESSED. 494 00:25:06,638 --> 00:25:10,842 HE HAS AN INTERESTING STORY, AND HE WAS IN A SHOW WHERE HE PLAYED 495 00:25:10,909 --> 00:25:14,746 THE PRESIDENT OF THE COUNTRY, AND THEN HAS RISEN TO THIS 496 00:25:14,813 --> 00:25:15,914 OCCASION. 497 00:25:15,981 --> 00:25:17,382 AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S A VERY, OBVIOUSLY, SERIOUS SITUATION, 498 00:25:17,449 --> 00:25:19,985 AND TO BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT THE REFUGEE ISSUES THAT THEY HAVE IN 499 00:25:20,051 --> 00:25:21,119 THE COUNTRY THERE. 500 00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:23,822 BECAUSE THERE ARE-- YOU KNOW, IT'S PROBABLY THE BIGGEST 501 00:25:23,889 --> 00:25:25,891 DISPLACEMENT OF PEOPLE SINCE WORLD WAR II. 502 00:25:25,957 --> 00:25:30,595 I THINK MAYBE ABOUT 12 MILLION PEOPLE IN THAT COUNTRY HAVE BEEN 503 00:25:30,662 --> 00:25:31,630 DISPLACED. 504 00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:32,797 SO IT'S A LOT THAT THEY'RE DEALING WITH RIGHT NOW. 505 00:25:32,864 --> 00:25:35,367 >> Stephen: MUCH HAS BEEN MADE, AS YOU WERE MENTIONING 506 00:25:35,433 --> 00:25:37,903 BEFORE, THAT HE STARTED OFF AS A COMEDIC ACTOR. 507 00:25:37,969 --> 00:25:38,870 >> YEAH. 508 00:25:38,937 --> 00:25:40,972 >> Stephen: DOES POLITICS INTEREST YOU AT ALL? 509 00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:43,008 WOULD YOU BE AT ALL INTERESTED? 510 00:25:43,074 --> 00:25:45,877 BECAUSE YOU SEEM LIKE A PERFECTLY INTELLIGENT, LIKABLE-- 511 00:25:45,944 --> 00:25:47,112 >> OH, MY GOD. 512 00:25:47,178 --> 00:25:48,413 >> Stephen: ...PERSON. 513 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,917 HOW DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD DO IN THE SAME SITUATION? 514 00:25:51,983 --> 00:25:54,486 >> JOE WALSH IS POINTING AT ME. 515 00:25:54,552 --> 00:25:55,921 >> Stephen: JOE WALSH IS ALL FOR YOU. 516 00:25:55,987 --> 00:25:56,655 >> NO, MAN. 517 00:25:56,721 --> 00:25:59,758 >> Stephen: VICE PRESIDENT? 518 00:25:59,824 --> 00:26:00,158 STILLER-WALSH. 519 00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:00,558 ( APPLAUSE ). 520 00:26:00,625 --> 00:26:02,127 >> I'M ALL IN! 521 00:26:02,193 --> 00:26:07,966 >> Stephen: HE'S GOT THE EXPERIENCE YOU'VE GOT DRIVE THE. 522 00:26:08,033 --> 00:26:10,969 I WISH SOMEONE LIKE JON STEWART WOULD RUN. 523 00:26:11,036 --> 00:26:13,171 ( APPLAUSE ) I THINK WHAT HE'S BEEN DOING 524 00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:14,940 RECENTLY HAS BEEN -- >> Stephen: YEAH, HE'S DOING 525 00:26:15,006 --> 00:26:16,141 AN AMAZING JOB. 526 00:26:16,207 --> 00:26:18,276 I WOULDN'T WANT IT FOR MY FRIEND BECAUSE AS PRESIDENT OF THE 527 00:26:18,343 --> 00:26:21,579 UNITED STATES YOU HAVE TO MAKE DECISION LIKE, "GO DRONE THOSE 528 00:26:21,646 --> 00:26:22,180 PEOPLE." 529 00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:23,815 THAT'S A DIFFICULT THING. 530 00:26:23,882 --> 00:26:27,786 I DON'T THINK I WOULD WANT TO HAVE TO MAKE THAT DECISION OR 531 00:26:27,852 --> 00:26:29,754 WANT MY FRIEND TO MAKE THAT DECISION. 532 00:26:29,821 --> 00:26:33,792 >> IT'S A WHOLE OTHER WORLD, AND FEELING LIKE-- IN TALKING WITH 533 00:26:33,858 --> 00:26:35,961 ZELENSKYY, YOU NEAL THAT WEIGHT. 534 00:26:36,027 --> 00:26:37,696 AND IT'S NOTHING REALLY FUNNY ABOUT IT. 535 00:26:37,762 --> 00:26:38,630 >> Stephen: NOPE. 536 00:26:38,697 --> 00:26:42,267 ( LAUGHTER ) > SO, NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO 537 00:26:42,334 --> 00:26:44,336 INTO POLITICS. 538 00:26:48,006 --> 00:26:49,074 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A 539 00:26:49,140 --> 00:26:52,410 QUICK BREAK, BUT WHEN I COME BACK, I WILL ASK BEN STILLER 540 00:26:52,477 --> 00:26:54,479 ABOUT FINDING NEW GEARS AS AN ARTIST. 541 00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:07,826 >> Stephen: JUST LET IT GO. 542 00:27:07,892 --> 00:27:10,862 HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK HERE WITH MR. BEN STILLER. 543 00:27:10,929 --> 00:27:15,400 LET'S DIVE INTO "SEVERANCE." 544 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:16,968 IT'S ON APPLE TV+. 545 00:27:17,035 --> 00:27:18,269 14 EMMY NOMINATIONS. 546 00:27:18,336 --> 00:27:18,670 CONGRATULATIONS. 547 00:27:18,737 --> 00:27:19,204 >> THANK YOU. 548 00:27:19,270 --> 00:27:20,305 ( APPLAUSE ). 549 00:27:20,372 --> 00:27:24,976 >> Stephen: INCLUDING, INCLUDING BEST DIRECTOR FOR YOU. 550 00:27:25,043 --> 00:27:25,343 CONGRATULATIONS. 551 00:27:25,410 --> 00:27:26,678 >> THANKS. 552 00:27:26,745 --> 00:27:32,384 >> Stephen: IF THIS INTERVIEW GOES WELL, THERE MIGHT BE SOME 553 00:27:32,450 --> 00:27:34,152 WAFFLES IN IT FOR YOU. 554 00:27:34,219 --> 00:27:35,620 PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 555 00:27:35,687 --> 00:27:38,323 EVERYBODY I KNOW IS LIKE, "HAVE TO WATCH THIS SHOW." 556 00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:39,657 I'M A BUSY GUY. 557 00:27:39,724 --> 00:27:40,959 IT HAS TO BE THE NEXT THING. 558 00:27:41,026 --> 00:27:44,963 MY DAUGHTER, THE ONE I TAUGHT TO DRIVE, "DAD, IT'S GREATEST 559 00:27:45,030 --> 00:27:46,431 TELEVISION SHOW OF ALL TIME." 560 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:48,967 I'M SO GLAD I FINALLY WATCHED IT. 561 00:27:49,034 --> 00:27:51,069 I'M ABSOLUTELY BLOWN AWAY BY THE SHOW. 562 00:27:51,136 --> 00:27:54,172 ABOUT THE STRANGENESS OF IT, THE TENDERNESS OF IT. 563 00:27:54,239 --> 00:27:56,841 IT'S SO FUNNY AT THE SAME TIME. 564 00:27:56,908 --> 00:28:00,745 IT'S GOT THIS GREAT SOCIAL COMMENTARY ABOUT WHAT OUR 565 00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:03,681 WORK-LIFE BALANCE SHOULD BE AND THIS SORT OF FALSE FAMILY 566 00:28:03,748 --> 00:28:04,215 DYNAMICS OF CORPORATIONS. 567 00:28:04,282 --> 00:28:04,983 >> YEAH. 568 00:28:05,050 --> 00:28:06,451 >> Stephen: HOW DID IT COME TO YOU? 569 00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:08,253 WHAT DID YOU THINK WHEN YOU FIRST HEARD THIS IDEA? 570 00:28:08,319 --> 00:28:12,190 >> I GOT A SCRIPT ABOUT FIVE YEARS AGO THAT WAS A WRITING 571 00:28:12,257 --> 00:28:15,860 SAMPLE BY DAN ERICSON, WHO IS A WRITER, WHO WAS TRYING TO BREAK 572 00:28:15,927 --> 00:28:18,063 IN AND GET A JOB IN SHOW BUSINESS. 573 00:28:18,129 --> 00:28:23,101 AND I READ IT, AND IT WAS JUST-- TO ME IT JUST JUMPED OFF THE 574 00:28:23,168 --> 00:28:24,202 PAGE. 575 00:28:24,269 --> 00:28:27,172 IT'S KIND OF ROOTED IN THE WORKPLACE COMEDIES LIKE "THE 576 00:28:27,238 --> 00:28:31,042 OFFICE," OR "OFFICE SPACE," THIS COMEDY GENRE THAT HAS DEVELOPED 577 00:28:31,109 --> 00:28:36,214 THE PAST 20 YEARS AGO, WHATEVER, THAT WE'VE HAD, "PARKS AND REC" 578 00:28:36,281 --> 00:28:37,615 THAT KIND OF VIBE. 579 00:28:37,682 --> 00:28:40,685 IT'S HAPPENING IN A WORLD WHERE PEOPLE GO TO WORK, THEY HAVE A 580 00:28:40,752 --> 00:28:44,556 CHIP IMPLANTED IN HIR HEAD, THEY DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE OUTSIDE, 581 00:28:44,622 --> 00:28:47,525 AND WHEN THEY LEAVE WORK, THEY DON'T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED AT 582 00:28:47,592 --> 00:28:48,760 WORK. 583 00:28:48,827 --> 00:28:50,195 THEY'RE TALKING AND HAVING THIS WORKPLACE INTERACTION BUT THEY 584 00:28:50,261 --> 00:28:52,964 DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING, WHY THEY'RE THERE OR WHO THEY 585 00:28:53,031 --> 00:28:53,665 ARE. 586 00:28:53,731 --> 00:28:54,699 AND THAT WAS INTERESTING TO ME. 587 00:28:54,766 --> 00:28:56,367 ( LAUGHTER ) AND I THOUGHT, THAT'S SORT OF 588 00:28:56,434 --> 00:28:58,103 LIKE A WEIRD METAPHOR FOR LIFE. 589 00:28:58,169 --> 00:29:02,807 >> Stephen: DID THAT RESONATE IN YOUR WORK ALL? 590 00:29:02,874 --> 00:29:05,343 CERTAINLY, WORKING IN PRODUCTION CAN BE COMPLETELY OBSESSIVE. 591 00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:08,046 >> I THINK I'M LUCKY IN THAT I LOVE DOING WHAT I DO. 592 00:29:08,113 --> 00:29:09,781 AND I LOVE TO GO TO WORK. 593 00:29:09,848 --> 00:29:11,483 AND I ENJOY IT. 594 00:29:11,549 --> 00:29:12,650 IT CAN BE HARD SOMETIMES. 595 00:29:12,717 --> 00:29:15,053 I THINK IT'S, YOU KNOW, THAT THING OF GOING TO A JOB WHERE 596 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,189 YOU JUST DON'T CONNECT WITH IT AT ALL AND YOU'RE HAVING TO 597 00:29:18,256 --> 00:29:21,593 SPEND HOURS AND HOURS OF YOUR LIFE IN THIS, YOU KNOW, IN THIS 598 00:29:21,659 --> 00:29:22,627 REALITY. 599 00:29:22,694 --> 00:29:24,963 THAT I THINK IS REALLY WHAT DAN WAS TAPPING INTO. 600 00:29:25,029 --> 00:29:28,133 DAN WORKED AT A DOOR FACTORY FOR YEARS, AND HE HAD THIS IDEA WHEN 601 00:29:28,199 --> 00:29:30,335 HE WAS WORKING AT A DOOR FACTORY. 602 00:29:30,401 --> 00:29:36,174 AND HE WAS THINKING, "I HATE WORKING AT A DOOR FACTORY." 603 00:29:36,241 --> 00:29:36,574 SO... 604 00:29:36,641 --> 00:29:37,675 ( LAUGHTER ). 605 00:29:37,742 --> 00:29:39,711 >> Stephen: I CAN IMAGINE AFTER A WHILE YOU WOULD HATE 606 00:29:39,777 --> 00:29:40,011 DOORS. 607 00:29:40,078 --> 00:29:40,812 >> YEAH. 608 00:29:40,879 --> 00:29:42,714 EVERY TIME YOU HAVE TO TOUCH A KNOB. 609 00:29:42,780 --> 00:29:45,583 ( LAUGHTER ) SO, ANYWAY, HE CAME UP WITH THIS 610 00:29:45,650 --> 00:29:46,851 IDEA. 611 00:29:46,918 --> 00:29:49,821 AND IT JUST JUMPED OFF THE PAGE, AND IT TOOK A NUMBER OF YEARS TO 612 00:29:49,888 --> 00:29:51,356 GET IT ON THE AIR. 613 00:29:51,422 --> 00:29:55,593 I ALWAYS FELT IT HAD A UNIQUE TONE TO IT AND THOUGHT OF ADAM, 614 00:29:55,660 --> 00:30:00,798 SCOTT, RIGHT OFF THE BAT, THAT THEY WOULD BE AMAZING AS MARK. 615 00:30:00,865 --> 00:30:02,267 >> Stephen: AND YOU WERE RIGHT. 616 00:30:02,333 --> 00:30:03,368 >> HE'S JUST INCREDIBLE. 617 00:30:03,434 --> 00:30:07,005 HE'S SO FUNNY, AND HE HAS THIS OTHER SIDE TO HIM. 618 00:30:07,071 --> 00:30:10,508 HE GETS TO PLAY TWO SIDES OF THE CHARACTER IT'S GUY ON THE INSIDE 619 00:30:10,575 --> 00:30:13,745 AND THE GUY ON THE OUTSIDE AND THEY'RE BOTH IN DANCH PLACES IN 620 00:30:13,811 --> 00:30:14,946 THEIR LIFE. 621 00:30:15,013 --> 00:30:16,548 >> Stephen: I WANTED TO SAY SOMETHING THAT I HOPE IS IN ANY 622 00:30:16,614 --> 00:30:20,952 WAY MEANINGFUL TO YOU, I REMEMBER WATCHING "SECRET LIFE 623 00:30:21,019 --> 00:30:25,156 OF WALTER MITTY," YOUR FILM FROM 2014. 624 00:30:25,223 --> 00:30:27,058 IT WAS A HAVE INTERESTING FILM. 625 00:30:27,125 --> 00:30:30,195 YOU HAD ALREADY HAD A TREMENDOUS CAREER, JUST ABSOLUTELY 626 00:30:30,261 --> 00:30:32,964 BRILLIANT WORK, WHICH YOU KNOW I'M A FAN OF. 627 00:30:33,031 --> 00:30:37,135 WHEN I SAW THAT, I THOUGHT THIS IS REALLY-- I COULD BE TOTALLY 628 00:30:37,202 --> 00:30:38,369 WRONG-- THIS IS ABOUT BEN. 629 00:30:38,436 --> 00:30:40,738 THIS IS ABOUT BEN WANTING THAT BEAUTIFUL THING OR THAT PERFECT 630 00:30:40,805 --> 00:30:45,710 MOMENT OR THAT-- SORT OF THAT EXPANSION OF THEIR WORLD. 631 00:30:45,777 --> 00:30:49,614 AND WITH "ESCAPE AT DANNEMORA" AND THIS MOVIE, YOU HAVE HAVE 632 00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:52,150 DONE THIS EXTRAORDINARY THING AT THIS STAGE OF YOUR CAREER TO, 633 00:30:52,217 --> 00:30:56,955 LIKE, GROW THE PAL AT OF YOUR WORK, IN SUCH AN EXTRAORDINARY 634 00:30:57,021 --> 00:30:58,122 WAY. 635 00:30:58,189 --> 00:31:01,993 I WATCHED "SEVERANCE," AND I TURNED TO EV, AND I SAID, "I'M 636 00:31:02,060 --> 00:31:03,861 SO HAPPY FOR HIM." 637 00:31:03,928 --> 00:31:07,765 THE GUY IN "THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY" GOT THAT MOMENT. 638 00:31:07,832 --> 00:31:12,036 YOU HAVE GROWN SO ENORMOUSLY, EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE SO 639 00:31:12,103 --> 00:31:15,573 ACCOMPLISH THEY HAD CAN'T HELP BUT BY HAPPY FOR AN ARTIST TO 640 00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,242 FIND THIS NEW SET OF GEARS. 641 00:31:17,308 --> 00:31:17,709 ( APPLAUSE ). 642 00:31:17,775 --> 00:31:18,743 >> WOW, THANK YOU. 643 00:31:18,810 --> 00:31:22,647 >> Stephen: IS THAT MEANING-- IS THAT MEANINGFUL? 644 00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:23,848 DO YOU FEEL THAT AT ALL? 645 00:31:23,915 --> 00:31:27,051 >> NO, I DON'T CONNECT WITH THAT AT ALL. 646 00:31:27,118 --> 00:31:28,720 ( LAUGHTER ) NO! 647 00:31:28,786 --> 00:31:31,456 >> Stephen: WHO AM I TO SAY THAT TO BEN STILLER. 648 00:31:31,522 --> 00:31:33,625 BUT, REALLY, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. 649 00:31:33,691 --> 00:31:36,194 >> YOU KNOW, LOOK, THE CREATIVE PROCESS, I THINK WE'RE ALWAYS 650 00:31:36,261 --> 00:31:38,563 TRYING TO GET CLOSER TO EXPRESSING OURSELVES AND TRYING 651 00:31:38,630 --> 00:31:42,200 TO FIND, YOU KNOW, WHO YOU ARE IN THE WORK THAT YOU DO. 652 00:31:42,267 --> 00:31:46,471 SO, WEIRDLY NOT-- BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN ACTING FOR A WHILE. 653 00:31:46,537 --> 00:31:48,640 SOMEHOW BY CONNECTING WITH THESE DIFFERENT PROJECTS THAT THE 654 00:31:48,706 --> 00:31:52,377 STORIES IN THEM I THINK FOR ME ARE SOMEHOW MORE CONNECTED TO MY 655 00:31:52,443 --> 00:31:55,380 LIFE EXPERIENCE OR MY, YOU KNOW, HOW I FEEL AS A PERSON. 656 00:31:55,446 --> 00:31:59,917 AND, ALSO, JUST THINGS I WANT TO WATCH, TOO, AS AN AUDIENCE. 657 00:31:59,984 --> 00:32:00,952 BUT, THANK YOU, MAN. 658 00:32:01,019 --> 00:32:01,853 THAT'S VERY NICE. 659 00:32:01,919 --> 00:32:04,022 >> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR-- ( APPLAUSE ) 660 00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:06,324 BEING ABLE TO SEE ALL THESE THINGS. 661 00:32:06,391 --> 00:32:09,927 >> THANK YOU. 662 00:32:09,994 --> 00:32:11,029 >> Stephen: "SEVERANCE" IS ON APPLE TV+. 663 00:32:11,095 --> 00:32:12,964 BEN STILLER, EVERYBODY. 664 00:32:13,031 --> 00:32:15,033 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH STAR OF THE UPCOMING SERIES, "A LEAGUE 665 00:32:15,099 --> 00:32:17,101 OF THEIR OWN," D'ARCY CARDEN. 666 00:32:39,023 --> 00:32:43,961 MY NEXT GUEST IS AN ACTRESS AND COMEDIAN YOU KNOW FROM "BARRY," 667 00:32:44,028 --> 00:32:47,965 "BROAD CITY," AND "THE GOOD PLACE." 668 00:32:48,032 --> 00:32:52,770 PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," D'ARCY CARDEN! 669 00:32:52,837 --> 00:32:54,839 ♪ CISCO KID WAS A FRIEND OF MINE CISCO KID WAS A FRIEND OF MINE ♪ 670 00:33:07,418 --> 00:33:07,985 ( APPLAUSE ). 671 00:33:08,052 --> 00:33:09,053 >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU. 672 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,656 >> NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO. 673 00:33:11,723 --> 00:33:18,796 YOU STAR IN A NEW TV ADAPTATION OF PENNY MARSHALL'S CLASSIC 1992 674 00:33:18,863 --> 00:33:19,430 MOVIE "A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN." 675 00:33:19,497 --> 00:33:23,935 >> YOU GOT EVERYTHING RIGHT. 676 00:33:24,001 --> 00:33:26,437 >> Stephen: JUST TO GET STRAIGHT FOR A SECOND. 677 00:33:26,504 --> 00:33:30,875 WHEN IS THE FIRST TIME-- YOU'RE MUCH YOUNGER THAN I AM-- NO. 678 00:33:30,942 --> 00:33:32,610 WHEN IS THE FIRST TIME YOU SAW THAT MOVIE? 679 00:33:32,677 --> 00:33:35,813 >> I SAW IT IN THE MOVIE THEATER. 680 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:37,715 SO THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN 1992. 681 00:33:37,782 --> 00:33:40,485 AND I WAS, LIKE, A REAL SPORTY LITTLE KID. 682 00:33:40,551 --> 00:33:43,588 I WAS PLAYING SOFTBALL AT THE TIME. 683 00:33:43,654 --> 00:33:44,055 >> Stephen: SURE. 684 00:33:44,122 --> 00:33:44,956 >> AND BASKETBALL. 685 00:33:45,022 --> 00:33:46,791 THAT WAS A REALLY ABOUT BIG MOVIE FOR ME. 686 00:33:46,858 --> 00:33:48,393 I REMEMBER-- I REMEMBER IT ALL. 687 00:33:48,459 --> 00:33:51,562 I REMEMBER IT, LIKE, IT KIND OF WAS THE COMBINATION OF 688 00:33:51,629 --> 00:33:53,865 EVERYTHING I LOVED IN ONE THING, AND I HAD NEVER SEEN ANYTHING 689 00:33:53,931 --> 00:34:00,638 LIKE IT, AND IT HAD MADONNA AND ROSIE AND GEENA DAVIS WHO THE 690 00:34:00,705 --> 00:34:03,341 PRETTIEST PERSON WHO HAS EVER LIVED? 691 00:34:03,408 --> 00:34:04,909 MAYBE? 692 00:34:04,976 --> 00:34:05,410 YEAH? 693 00:34:05,476 --> 00:34:05,943 >> Stephen: AMAZING. 694 00:34:06,010 --> 00:34:07,078 I HAD A REAL PROBLEM. 695 00:34:07,145 --> 00:34:09,247 SHE HAD CHEEK BONES YOU COULD LAND A CHOPPER ON. 696 00:34:09,313 --> 00:34:11,682 >> THE CHEEK BONES! 697 00:34:11,749 --> 00:34:12,884 >> Stephen: UNBELIEVABLE. 698 00:34:12,950 --> 00:34:15,620 QUICK QUESTION, YOU WOULD KNOW NOW THAT YOU'RE IN THE SERIES: 699 00:34:15,686 --> 00:34:16,387 IS THERE CRYING IN BASEBALL? 700 00:34:16,454 --> 00:34:17,722 >> THERE IS. 701 00:34:17,789 --> 00:34:21,225 >> Stephen: IS THAT THE TAG LINE,s, THERE IS CRYING IN 702 00:34:21,292 --> 00:34:22,093 BASEBALL." 703 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:23,327 >> IN "A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN," THERE IS. 704 00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:25,963 >> Stephen: SPEAKING OF GEENA DAVIS, YOU GOT TO SPEND A LITTLE 705 00:34:26,030 --> 00:34:27,432 TIME WITH HER RECENTLY RIGHT THERE. 706 00:34:27,498 --> 00:34:28,566 >> YES, I DID. 707 00:34:28,633 --> 00:34:31,969 >> Stephen: I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BRING HER OUT HERE. 708 00:34:32,036 --> 00:34:34,739 COME OUT HERE, GINA! 709 00:34:34,806 --> 00:34:35,506 >> GINA! 710 00:34:35,573 --> 00:34:36,040 >> Stephen: THIS IS YOU. 711 00:34:36,107 --> 00:34:37,375 >> THE CHOKE BONES. 712 00:34:37,442 --> 00:34:46,317 >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO, ALSO, WITH ABBI JAKEON SON AND 713 00:34:46,384 --> 00:34:51,823 WE WERE ALL STAR STRUCK, REALLY MEGASTAR TRUCK. 714 00:34:51,889 --> 00:34:55,960 WE'RE RARE IN THAT YOU'RE A COMEDIAN WHO IS GOOD AT SPORTS. 715 00:34:56,027 --> 00:34:57,228 >> WELL, THANK YOU. 716 00:34:57,295 --> 00:35:00,164 >> Stephen: YOU KNOW ALL RIGHT. 717 00:35:00,231 --> 00:35:01,098 >> YEAH, YEAH. 718 00:35:01,165 --> 00:35:03,234 >> Stephen: YOU KNOW YOU'RE GREAT AT SPORTS. 719 00:35:03,301 --> 00:35:05,436 TO WHAT DO YOU OWE THIS. 720 00:35:05,503 --> 00:35:06,637 YOU ALREADY PLAYED BALL? 721 00:35:06,704 --> 00:35:07,839 >> YEAH. 722 00:35:07,905 --> 00:35:10,074 THAT IS ONE OF THE REASONS THE MOVIE WAS SO IMPORTANT TO ME, 723 00:35:10,141 --> 00:35:12,844 WAS SEEING ALL THESE GIRLS PLAYING SPORTS AND WANTED TO BE 724 00:35:12,910 --> 00:35:15,246 AN ACTOR BUT LOVING SPORTS. 725 00:35:15,313 --> 00:35:18,583 I REMEMBER REALLY, TRULY, WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID LIKE I WANT TO 726 00:35:18,649 --> 00:35:21,819 BE A PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYER AND AN ACTOR AND MAYBE A 727 00:35:21,886 --> 00:35:23,621 ROCK STAR. 728 00:35:23,688 --> 00:35:25,556 ( LAUGHTER ) MR. WALSH. 729 00:35:25,623 --> 00:35:27,458 >> Stephen: YOU WERE ON AN IMPROV TEAM. 730 00:35:27,525 --> 00:35:28,659 >> YEAH, YEAH. 731 00:35:28,726 --> 00:35:33,030 >> Stephen: I WASN'T HUGE INTO THE SPORT, MOSTLY HACKY SACK. 732 00:35:33,097 --> 00:35:35,666 >> DON'T COUNT YOURSELF OUT. 733 00:35:35,733 --> 00:35:36,968 >> Stephen: I WAS ON IMPROV TEAMS. 734 00:35:37,034 --> 00:35:37,935 >> YES. 735 00:35:38,002 --> 00:35:39,971 >> Stephen: AND I'M JUST CURIOUS, WHAT IS MORE 736 00:35:40,037 --> 00:35:43,207 CHALLENGING, BEING ON A BASEBALL TEAM OR BEING ON AN IMPROV TEAM? 737 00:35:43,274 --> 00:35:45,409 >> THEY BOTH HAVE THEIR PROS AND CON S. 738 00:35:45,476 --> 00:35:46,644 >> Stephen: YES. 739 00:35:46,711 --> 00:35:50,481 >> THE FUNNY THING IS I WOULD SAY I GOT MORE INJURIES PLAYING 740 00:35:50,548 --> 00:35:51,649 SPORTS. 741 00:35:51,716 --> 00:35:54,619 BUT I FEEL LIKE I PROBABLY GOT EQUAL AMOUNT DOING IMPROV ON 742 00:35:54,685 --> 00:35:55,887 STAGE. 743 00:35:55,953 --> 00:35:59,190 ALL OF MY-- ANY-- I HAVE, LIKE, A POPPING JAW, A WRIST PROBLEM. 744 00:35:59,257 --> 00:36:01,926 ANY LONGTIME INJURY I HAVE IS ABSOLUTELY FROM ON STAGE. 745 00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:03,594 >> Stephen: AND YOU PROBABLY HAD NO HEALTH INSURANCE. 746 00:36:03,661 --> 00:36:04,395 >> NO! 747 00:36:04,462 --> 00:36:07,098 >> Stephen: YOU WERE AN IMPROVISOR. 748 00:36:07,164 --> 00:36:07,965 I HAVE THE SAME THING. 749 00:36:08,032 --> 00:36:11,002 I HAVE A ROTATOR CUFF PROBLEM. 750 00:36:11,068 --> 00:36:14,906 IT'S FROM AN IMPROV SCENE DOING FRONT FLIPS. 751 00:36:14,972 --> 00:36:15,740 >> EXACTLY. 752 00:36:15,806 --> 00:36:16,874 >> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT IT CALLED FOR. 753 00:36:16,941 --> 00:36:19,944 >> DID IT GET THE LAUGH? 754 00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:20,311 >> Stephen: NO. 755 00:36:20,378 --> 00:36:21,212 >> NO. 756 00:36:21,279 --> 00:36:23,948 >> Stephen: THE AUDIENCE HEARD ME GET HURT. 757 00:36:24,015 --> 00:36:25,249 >> OH, NO! 758 00:36:25,316 --> 00:36:27,218 >> Stephen: AND THEY DID THAT. 759 00:36:27,285 --> 00:36:30,521 THE AUDIENCE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO ACTUALLY BE HURT. 760 00:36:30,588 --> 00:36:31,322 >> NO. 761 00:36:31,389 --> 00:36:32,790 >> Stephen: AND IT'S STILL A PROBLEM. 762 00:36:32,857 --> 00:36:35,092 >> Stephen: STILL WAKES ME UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. 763 00:36:35,159 --> 00:36:38,162 >> YOU'RE PROBABLY HAVE TO HAVE SURGERY. 764 00:36:38,229 --> 00:36:41,332 >> Stephen: PROBABLY HAVE THE WHOLE THING LOBBED OFF. 765 00:36:41,399 --> 00:36:44,402 BASEBALL YOU CAN PLAY-- >> ME OR YOU? 766 00:36:44,468 --> 00:36:46,137 >> Stephen: LET'S FIND OUT. 767 00:36:46,203 --> 00:36:47,505 EVERYBODY HAS A BASEBALL TEAM. 768 00:36:47,572 --> 00:36:51,142 YOU CAN'T-- THE SPORT YOU GREW UP WITH, I JUST FOUND OUT, IS A 769 00:36:51,208 --> 00:36:52,510 LITTLE MORE RAREFIED. 770 00:36:52,577 --> 00:36:54,312 TELL THE PEOPLE WHAT I USED TO DO. 771 00:36:54,378 --> 00:36:55,913 >> I GREW UP IN CALIFORNIA. 772 00:36:55,980 --> 00:36:59,183 I PLAYED BASKETBALL AND SOFTBALL, AND THE MAIN SPORT I 773 00:36:59,250 --> 00:37:02,053 PLAYED WAS WATER POLO. 774 00:37:02,119 --> 00:37:05,389 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HERE YOU GO. 775 00:37:05,456 --> 00:37:08,159 THE ANCHOR, THE ANCHOR, MIDDLE-BOTTOM RIGHT THERE. 776 00:37:08,225 --> 00:37:09,894 THERE YOU ARE. 777 00:37:09,961 --> 00:37:11,662 THERE YOU ARE. 778 00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:14,699 ( APPLAUSE ) >> THE FUNNY THING ABOUT WATER 779 00:37:14,765 --> 00:37:17,802 POLO IN THIS PICTURE IS, LIKE, NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT 780 00:37:17,868 --> 00:37:20,805 WATER POLO, SO I FEEL LIKE EVERYBODY IN THE AUDIENCE IS 781 00:37:20,871 --> 00:37:23,874 LIKE, "IS THAT HOW YOU PLAY IT?" >> Stephen: THAT'S HOW YOU 782 00:37:23,941 --> 00:37:25,610 ENTER THE POOL, ACTUALLY. 783 00:37:25,676 --> 00:37:30,181 IS IT TRUE WATER POLO IS LOTS OF, LIKE, TOSSING AND BLOCK 784 00:37:30,247 --> 00:37:32,750 ABOVE THE WATER BUT BELOW THE WATER IT'S JUST BRUTAL. 785 00:37:32,817 --> 00:37:34,285 >> IT REALLY IS. 786 00:37:34,352 --> 00:37:35,519 IT REALLY IS. 787 00:37:35,586 --> 00:37:38,522 WE'RE ALL SORT OF ANGELS ABOVE THE WATER, AND UNDERNEATH THE 788 00:37:38,589 --> 00:37:41,659 WATER SYSTEM, LIKE-- WE WOULD HAVE TO WEAR TWO BATHE SUITS 789 00:37:41,726 --> 00:37:43,327 BECAUSE ONE WOULD GET RIPPED. 790 00:37:43,394 --> 00:37:47,198 THE THING YOU WOULD DO IS, LIKE, WRAP YOUR HAND AROUND SOMEBODY'S 791 00:37:47,264 --> 00:37:49,400 BATHE SUIT AND JUST PULL TO KEEP THEM DOWN. 792 00:37:49,467 --> 00:37:50,768 IT'S REALLY DARK AND VIOLENT. 793 00:37:50,835 --> 00:37:51,569 >> Stephen: WOW. 794 00:37:51,636 --> 00:37:54,071 AND THE POOL IS DEEP ALL OVER, RIGHT? 795 00:37:54,138 --> 00:37:55,973 >> YES, DEEP ALL OVER. 796 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:57,408 YOU'RE TREADING WATER ALL THE TIME. 797 00:37:57,475 --> 00:37:58,576 I WAS SO STRONG. 798 00:37:58,643 --> 00:37:59,510 OH, MY GOD. 799 00:37:59,577 --> 00:38:01,212 BUT I'M WONDERING IF I SHOULD TELL YOU THIS. 800 00:38:01,278 --> 00:38:03,214 >> Stephen: TELL IT. 801 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:06,984 >> Audience: COME ON! 802 00:38:07,051 --> 00:38:08,586 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: TELL IT. 803 00:38:08,653 --> 00:38:09,220 YOU CAN'T TELL IT? 804 00:38:09,286 --> 00:38:10,488 >> I WILL. 805 00:38:10,554 --> 00:38:14,258 THE THING ABOUT IT IS I SORT OF PRIDE MYSELF IN-- I WOULD RATHER 806 00:38:14,325 --> 00:38:14,925 LOSE THAN CHEAT. 807 00:38:14,992 --> 00:38:17,428 I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN CHEAT. 808 00:38:17,495 --> 00:38:19,463 I HATE A CHEATER, I REALLY DO. 809 00:38:19,530 --> 00:38:23,100 BUT, BUT, BUT, THERE WAS ONE THING-- IN WATER POLO YOU 810 00:38:23,167 --> 00:38:24,669 WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE LONG NAILS. 811 00:38:24,735 --> 00:38:27,905 IT WAS ONE OF THE WAYS THEY TRIED TO KEEP -- 812 00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:28,839 >> Stephen: REIGN IT IN. 813 00:38:28,906 --> 00:38:31,976 >> YEAH, I WAS THE CAPTAIN MY SENIOR YEAR. 814 00:38:32,043 --> 00:38:32,877 OKAY. 815 00:38:32,943 --> 00:38:34,045 SORRY. 816 00:38:34,111 --> 00:38:36,480 AND ONE THING WE WOULD HAVE TO DO BEFORE EVERY GAME IS YOU 817 00:38:36,547 --> 00:38:38,749 WOULD GO TO THE EDGE OF POOL-- IF YOU CAN IMAGINE. 818 00:38:38,816 --> 00:38:41,819 I GO TO THE EDGE OF THE POOL, EVERYBODY PUTS THEIR LITTLE 819 00:38:41,886 --> 00:38:45,056 HANDS UP AND THE REF COMES DOWN AND CHECKS EVERYBODY'S NAILS. 820 00:38:45,122 --> 00:38:46,490 I WOULD GO TO THE END OF THE LINE. 821 00:38:46,557 --> 00:38:50,728 BUT AS CAPTAIN I KNEW DURING THE LINE THEY WERE GOING TO SAY, 822 00:38:50,795 --> 00:38:53,097 "CAPTAINS TO THE MIDDLE" TO SHAKE HANDS WITH THE OTHER 823 00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:54,298 CAPTAINS. 824 00:38:54,365 --> 00:38:55,966 I WOULD GO TO THE END OF THE LINE AND THEN I WOULD GO TO THE 825 00:38:56,033 --> 00:38:58,836 MIDDLE OF THE POOL, SHAKE HANDS WITH THE OTHER CAPTAINS AND GO 826 00:38:58,903 --> 00:39:03,207 FRONT OF THE LINE AND SKIP THE NAIL CHECK, SO I HAD TALONS. 827 00:39:03,274 --> 00:39:04,341 >> Stephen: WOW. 828 00:39:04,408 --> 00:39:07,678 AND YOU JUST GO FOR THEIR EYES. 829 00:39:07,745 --> 00:39:09,213 >> NOT EYES. 830 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:12,149 I WOULD GET THEIR-- SORRY, SORRY. 831 00:39:12,216 --> 00:39:15,219 >> Stephen: WE DON'T-- WE DON'T HAVE A "LATE SHOW" WATER 832 00:39:15,286 --> 00:39:16,387 POLO TEAM, UNFORTUNATELY. 833 00:39:16,454 --> 00:39:17,388 >> YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT IT. 834 00:39:17,455 --> 00:39:19,857 >> Stephen: BUT WE DO HAVE A BASEBALL TEAM. 835 00:39:19,924 --> 00:39:21,225 >> GO ON. 836 00:39:21,292 --> 00:39:25,496 >> Stephen: I WANTED TO GRANT YOU AS AN HONORARY MEMBER OF THE 837 00:39:25,563 --> 00:39:26,063 "LATE SHOW"." 838 00:39:26,130 --> 00:39:26,997 WE ARE THE SEA CAPTAINS. 839 00:39:27,064 --> 00:39:29,133 >> AM I A SEA CAPTAIN NOW? 840 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,302 >> Stephen: YES, YOU ARE A SEA CAPTAIN. 841 00:39:31,368 --> 00:39:31,969 THERE YOU GO. 842 00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:33,671 NO, FOR SURE? 843 00:39:33,738 --> 00:39:34,371 FOR REAL. 844 00:39:34,438 --> 00:39:36,006 >> AM I A SEA CAPTAIN? 845 00:39:36,073 --> 00:39:37,575 ARE YOU SAYING YOU COULD, LIKE -- 846 00:39:37,641 --> 00:39:39,577 >> Stephen: YOU CAN JUST SHOW UP NOW AND PLAY. 847 00:39:39,643 --> 00:39:40,778 >> I'M GOING TO. 848 00:39:40,845 --> 00:39:43,748 >> Stephen: YOU'RE A RINGER >> SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING TO DO 849 00:39:43,814 --> 00:39:44,749 IT. 850 00:39:44,815 --> 00:39:47,151 I'M JUST GOING TO-- YOU WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT YOU. 851 00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:47,785 IT WILL BE BASEBALL. 852 00:39:47,852 --> 00:39:50,855 >> Stephen: PLEASE, HIT US. 853 00:39:50,921 --> 00:39:53,224 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> I'M A SEA CAPTAIN! 854 00:39:53,290 --> 00:39:55,526 >> Stephen: DISPERSE, SO NICE TO MEET YOU. 855 00:39:55,593 --> 00:39:57,762 >> YOU, TOO. 856 00:39:57,828 --> 00:39:58,896 >> Stephen: "A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN" PREMIERES FRIDAY ON 857 00:39:58,963 --> 00:39:59,497 PRIME VIDEO. 858 00:39:59,563 --> 00:39:59,997 D'ARCY CARDEN, EVERYBODY! 859 00:40:00,064 --> 00:40:02,032 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 860 00:40:20,017 --> 00:40:22,119 >> Stephen:THAT'S IT FOR THE LATE SHOW." 861 00:40:22,186 --> 00:40:25,356 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE "SUCCESSION'S" KIERAN 862 00:40:25,422 --> 00:40:27,291 CULKIN. 863 00:40:27,358 --> 00:40:29,360 GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.