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>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT: PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES:
RYAN REYNOLDS AND ROB McELHENNEY
AND MUSICAL GUEST JAMES TAYLOR.
FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW BAND.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY
MUCH.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Audience: STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
DOWN HERE.
UP THERE.
PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, IN HERE, OUT THERE, ALL AROUND THE WORLD,
TO "LATE SHOW"."
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
I HOPE EVERYBODY OVER THERE, EVERYBODY OUT THERE IS HAVING A
HAPPY THURSDAY.
IT HAS NOT BEEN-- YEAH.
YEAH.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR REPRESENTING.
IT'S NOT BEEN A HAPPY WEEK FOR FORMER PRESIDENT, THE FLABRADOR
RECEIVER.
TOMORROW, BOTH HIS LAWYERS AND THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE ARE
SUPPOSED TO SUBMIT THEIR SUGGESTIONS FOR A SPECIAL MASTER
TO REVIEW THE STUFF THEY FOUND AT MAR-A-LAGO.
THING IS, THE FORMER PRESIDENT MIGHT NOT BE GETTING THE BEST
LEGAL ADVICE, BECAUSE HE IS REPORTEDLY HAVING A DIFFICULT
TIME FINDING LAWYERS TO REPRESENT HIM.
WHAT?
BUT WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO JOIN THE ILLUSTRIOUS RANKS OF JAILED
GUY, MAGICAL MR. MUSTACHE, MADAME MEOW MEOW, AND DR. HEAD
JUICE?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
DR. HEAD JUICE!
DR. HEAD JUICE.
OF COURSE, ONE POSSIBLE REASON LAWYERS DON'T WANT TO WORK FOR
THE EX-PRES IS THAT DOING SO PUTS THEM AT RISK OF BEING
DISBARRED FOR BREAKING THE LAW.
AND THEY DON'T EVEN GET PAID TO BREAK THE LAW.
BECAUSE THE FORMER PRESIDENT HAS A REPUTATION FOR IGNORING BILLS,
TO WHICH ERIC SAID, "I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, BILL!
I KNOW JUST HOW YOU FEEL!" RIGHT NOW, THE FORMER PRESIDENT
IS STRUGGLING STRUGGLING MIGHTILY TO FIND A GOOD LAWYER.
BECAUSE HIS CURRENT LEGAL TEAM CONSISTS OF A FLORIDA INSURANCE
LAWYER WHO'S NEVER HAD A FEDERAL CASE, A FORMER HOST AT
FAR-RIGHT "ONE AMERICA NEWS," AND A PAST GENERAL COUNSEL FOR A
PARKING GARAGE COMPANY.
( LAUGHTER ) PLEASE, LORD, I DON'T ASK FOR
MUCH, BUT PLEASE LET THIS GO TO TRIAL.
( APPLAUSE ) ( AS ATTORNEY )
OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR!
THE PROSECUTION FORGOT TO GET THEIR CHARGES VALIDATED AT THE
JAMBA JUICE!" ( LAUGHTER )
WHEN THE FORMER PRESIDENT DOES PAY HIS LAWYERS, HE HAS SOME FUN
WITH IT.
BECAUSE WE RECENTLY LEARNED THAT THE FORMER PRESIDENT ONCE TRIED
TO PAY A LAWYER WITH A HORSE.
I DON'T KNOW WHY WE'RE SURPRISED.
AFTER ALL, HE DID DESCRIBE HIMSELF AS A STABLE GENIUS.
( LAUGHTER ) THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
( APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU.
TALK ABOUT GENIUS RIGHT THERE.
HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.
BACK IN THE 1990s, THE FORMER PRESIDENT OWED AN ATTORNEY
$2 MILLION DOLLARS, BUT WHEN HE CAME TO COLLECT, THE FORMER
PRESIDENT TOLD HIM, "I'M NOT GOING TO PAY YOUR BILL.
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING MORE VALUABLE.
I HAVE A STALLION.
IT'S WORTH $5 MILLION."
AND IF YOU BELIEVE THAT, I HAVE A BRIDGE I'D LIKE TO SELL YOU.
AND IT'S A HORSE.
( LAUGHTER ) ALL OF THIS LEGAL FOLDEROL SEEMS
TO BE HELPING DEMOCRATS IN THE UPCOMING ELECTION, BECAUSE
THE CONTINUED DOMINANCE OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT WITHIN HIS
PARTY ALLOWS DEMOCRATS TO REFRAME THE MIDTERMS AS A CHOICE
BETWEEN "NORMAL" AND "EXTREMISM THAT THREATENS THE VERY
FOUNDATIONS OF OUR REPUBLIC."
NOW, THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN EASY DECISION, BUT HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT
AMERICANS EAT?
( LAUGHTER ) GIVEN THE CHOICE, WE ALWAYS PICK
"EXTREME."
( AS CUSTOMER ) "WELL, I WAS GONNA GET A NICE
HEALTHY DEMOCRACY, BUT IF IT'S ONLY 75 CENTS MORE, I GUESS GIVE
ME THE CODE-RED FASCIST BAJA BLAST!"
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
DOES THAT-- DOES THAT COME WITH GUAC?
DOES THAT COME WITH GUAC?
( APPLAUSE ) IN A NORMAL MIDTERM ELECTION
SEASON, THE MINORITY PARTY MAKES GAINS IN CONGRESS.
BUT NOTHING ABOUT THE COUNTRY RIGHT NOW IS NORMAL.
SO WHILE THE G.O.P. IS STILL EXPECTED TO WIN THE HOUSE,
POLLING SITE FIVETHIRTYEIGHT CURRENTLY GIVES DEMOCRATS A 70%
CHANCE TO KEEP CONTROL OF THE SENATE.
AND-- ( APPLAUSE )
THAT IS GOOD NEWS.
THAT IS GREAT.
AND KEEP IN MIND, FIVETHIRTYEIGHT IS NEVER WRONG.
JUST ASK PRESIDENT HILLARY CLINTON.
SO WHAT'S GIVING THE DEMS THIS APPARENT EDGE?
WOMEN, IN PARTICULAR, ARE FURIOUS--
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WOMEN, ARE FURIOUS ABOUT THE
OVERTURNING OF "ROE V. WADE."
IN FACT, AFTER THE SUPREME COURT DECISION CAME DOWN, WOMEN'S
VOTER SIGN-UPS SURGED.
BIG MISTAKE, SUPREME COURT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BIG MISTAKE.
YOU DID THAT-- YOU GOT TO TAKE AWAY WOMEN'S
RIGHT TO VOTE BEFORE YOU TOOK AWAY THEIR RIGHT TO CHOOSE.
AND THE DEMOCRATS ARE DOING EVERYTHING THEY CAN TO PUT
ABORTION ON THE BALLOT.
THEY SPENT $92 MILLION ON ADVERTISING ALREADY MENTIONING
THE ISSUE, COMPARED TO $5.6 MILLION IN THE LAST MIDTERMS.
AH, 2018.
A SIMPLER TIME.
WHEN WOMEN STILL HAD BODILY AUTONOMY, WE WERE POPPIN' TIDE
PODS LIKE TIC TACS, AND A LITTLE BAT IN CHINA WAS SAYING TO HIS
FRIENDS, "GUYS, I'M SURE IT'S JUST ALLERGIES."
FOR THEIR PART, FOR THEIR PART, THE G.O.P. KNOWS--
( APPLAUSE ) BATS!
( LAUGHTER ) FOR THEIR PART, THE G.O.P. KNOWS
THEY NEED TO FIND A WAY TO WIN BACK THOSE FOLKS WHOSE RIGHTS
THEY JUST TOOK AWAY.
SO, SOME OF THEIR MALE CANDIDATES HAVE BEGUN PUTTING
THEIR WIVES IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA TO SPEAK DIRECTLY TO
VOTERS IN TV ADS.
BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS YOU RESPECT WOMEN LIKE MAKING ONE DO YOUR
JOB FOR NO MONEY.
( LAUGHTER ) AND WHEN IT FINALLY IS TIME TO
VOTE, IT MIGHT BE A BIT HARDER THIS YEAR, AND NOT JUST BECAUSE
REPUBLICANS WANT TO MAKE IT THAT WAY.
BECAUSE THERE'S A SHORTAGE OF POLL WORKERS, DUE IN NO SMALL
PART TO AN INCREASED LEVEL OF THREATS TOWARDS ELECTION
OFFICIALS AND WORKERS DRIVEN BY ELECTION DENIERS.
WHICH IS OUTRAGEOUS.
POLL WORKERS ARE JUST DOING THEIR JOBS: TAKING 15 MINUTES TO
LOOK UP YOUR NAME IN THE VOTER ROLLS.
"IT'S COLBERT.
IT'S SPELLED LIKE COLBERT.
NO, NOT WITH A 'K'!
NO, NOT CUTHBERT.
LOOK, I CAN SEE IT UPSIDE DOWN!
NO, NO, DON'T TURN THE PAGE!
DORIS, WE DO THIS EVERY TWO YEARS!
I'M GOING TO THE BAKE SALE.
LET ME KNOW IF YOU FIND MY NAME."
( APPLAUSE ) I'M SORRY, DORIS.
( LAUGHTER ) SO NOW STATES ARE GETTING
CREATIVE.
FOR EXAMPLE, IN MARYLAND, THERE'S NO SCHOOL ON ELECTION
DAY, AND KIDS AS YOUNG AS SIXTH GRADE CAN VOLUNTEER AS AIDES TO
POLL WORKERS.
THAT WILL PUT AN INTERESTING SPIN ON VOTING.
( AS SIXTH GRADER ) "HELLO, SIR, CAN I HAVE YOUR
I.D.?
I MEAN, CAN I JUST HAVE IT?
I NEED SOMETHING TO BUY BEER WITH."
NOW HOLD ON TO YOUR BEAKERS, NERDS, BECAUSE THERE'S SOME NEWS
FROM THE WORLD OF SCIENCE.
DOWN IN ANTARCTICA, A DOOMSDAY GLACIER IS DISINTEGRATING FASTER
THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT.
OKAY, THAT'S TERRIFYING.
AND I GOT TO SAY, IT DOESN'T HELP THAT WE'RE CALLING IT THE
"DOOMSDAY GLACIER."
CAN'T WE PICK SOMETHING HAPPIER, LIKE THE "FREE GUAC
GLACIER," OR THE "HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT ICEBERG"?
SCIENTISTS CALL IT THE DOOMSDAY GLACIER BECAUSE WITHOUT IT, "SEA
LEVELS COULD RISE MORE THAN THREE TO TEN FEET."
MORE THAN THREE TO TEN FEET?
SO...
FOUR TO 11 FEET, ONE IMAGINES.
TURNS OUT, "DOOMSDAY" IS JUST A FUN NICKNAME.
IT'S OFFICIALLY CALLED THE THWAITES GLACIER.
AS IN, "JUST THWAIT A COUPLE OF YEARS, AND WE'LL ALL BE
THWIMMING OFF THE COAST OF KANTHATH."
( LAUGHTER ) WE'VE ACTUALLY KNOWN FOR SOME
TIME NOW, THOMAS-- ( APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU.
BARTHELONA.
WE'VE ACTUALLY KNOWN HOW BAD THIS COULD GET FOR A WHILE.
HERE'S HOW BILL NYE EXPLAINED IT AT THE END OF LAST YEAR:
>> THIS WOULD BE CATASTROPHIC.
A PLACE LIKE FLORIDA, SOUTHERN FLORIDA, WOULD BE UNDER WATER.
>> Stephen: ORGAN OH, NO!
NOT SOUTHERN FLORIDA.
THAT'S WHERE WE KEEP OUR TOP SECRET FILES!
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
MY GUESTS ARE RYAN REYNOLDS AND ROB McELHENNEY.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, JAMES TAYLOR AND I UPDATE A CLASSIC
SONG.
STICK AROUND.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND RIGHT THERE.
COME ON.
HAPPY THURSDAY.
>> Louis: HAPPY THURSDAY.
>> Stephen: HAPPY THURSDAY TO ALL OF YOU OVER THERE.
YOU KNOW, I-- I LOVE ALL THE GUESTS THAT COME ON THE SHOW.
YOU KNOW THAT.
I'M VERY GRATEFUL.
FOR INSTANCE, ALEX WAGNER AND ROY WOOD JR.
BUT TONIGHT, WE'VE GOT RYAN REYNOLDS AND ROB McELHENNEY
ARE HERE, JUST TWO EXTRAORDINARY YOUNG MEN, VERY TALENTED.
( APPLAUSE ) I'M VERY EXCITED
( APPLAUSE ) AND LATER ON, RIGHT HERE-- RIGHT
HERE.
LATER ON WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A SPECIAL PERFORMANCE FROM
NATIONAL TREASURE JAMES TAYLOR.
( APPLAUSE ) THERE HE IS.
LOOK AT THAT.
I MAKE SURE TO TREAT HIM WITH THE UTMOST RESPECT, BY RANDOMLY
DROPPING BY HIS DRESSING ROOM UNANNOUNCED.
AND SOMETIMES I VIDEOTAPE THAT.
JIM?
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, JAMES TAYLOR.
>> HEY, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: HEY, MAN, THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
IT'S GREAT HAVING YOU ON THE SHOW.
>> OH, IT'S BEEN SO GREAT.
I'M HERE IN BODY AT LEAST.
IN MY MIND I'M SOMEWHERE ELSE.
>> Stephen: CAROLINA IN YOUR MIND?
>> NO, ACTUALLY, I'M GETTING DINNER LATER AND I CAN'T STOP
THINKING ABOUT THAT.
ICAL ZONES.
>> Stephen: SPEAKING ABOUT CAROLINA IN MY MIND.
I'M A HUGE FAN, GREAT BABY JAMES" SHOWER THE PEOPLE, "JUF
>> CAROLE KING WROTE THAT SONG.
>> Stephen: CAROLE KING.
YOU CAN'T IMPROVE ON THOSE LYRICS.
>> HERE'S A THING "YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND" IS PERFECT FOR THOSE WHO
SHARE A DEEP MEANINGFUL BOND.
I JUST WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING EQUALLY BEAUTIFUL FOR PEOPLE WHO
REALLY AREN'T THAT CLOSE.
.>> Stephen: YOU MEAN LIKE ACQUAINTANCES FROM WORK?
>> EXACTLY.
♪ WHEN YOU'RE DOWN AND TROUBLED
♪ AND YOU FEEL LIKE GETTING DRINKS
♪ AND YOUR REAL FRIENDS OH, YOUR REAL FRIENDS
THEY'RE ALL BUSY ♪ THINK OF ME AND SEARCH YOUR
PHONE ♪ AND SEE IF MY NUMBER'S THERE
THEN TEXT ME-- "HEY, SHORT NOTICE, BUT ARE YOU FREE?"
♪ WE MAY NOT BE B.F.F.s WE'VE NEVER BEEN TO EACH OTHER'S
PLACE ♪ AND I GOT MARRIED TODAY
YOU WOULDN'T BE THERE ( LAUGHTER )
♪ BUT YOUR DESK IS PRETTY CLOSE BY
♪ THAT'S A BOND YOU CAN'T DENY.
YOU'RE THAT GUY I SORT OF KNOW ♪ YOU'VE GOT A WORK FRIEND
( LAUGHTER ) ♪ DID YOU HAVE A FUN WEEKEND?
OH, YOU BET I'LL ASK YOU THAT ♪ AND THEN YOU'LL TELL A STORY
ABOUT TAKING YOUR KIDS TO THE ZOO
( LAUGHTER ) ♪ AND IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER
THAT YOU JUST CALLED MY KIDS THE WRONG NAME
( LAUGHTER ) ♪ BECAUSE I KNOW I'LL DO IT TO
YOUR KIDS, TOO ( LAUGHTER )
♪ WE MAY NOT BE B.F.F.s WE'VE NEVER BEEN ON A DOUBLE
DATE ♪ BUT IF YOUR MOM GOT SICK
I'D SIGN THE CARD ♪ MAY BE BUY IT
♪ I CAN'T RECALL QUITE WHERE YOU'RE FROM
♪ WAS IT PITTSBURGH OR MAYBE DURHAM.
>> NOPE ♪ BUT YOU'D GIVE ME GUM IF I
ASKED ♪ NOW AIN'T IT GOOD TO KNOW
YOU'VE GOT A WORK FRIEND ♪ THE PRESSURE ON OH, SO LOW
♪ HEY, WANT TO JOIN MY MARCH MADNESS POOL?
♪ IT'S JUST FIVE BUCKS IF YOU WANT IN
♪ OH, YEAH BUT IT'S COOL, IF NOT ♪ WE MAY NOT BE "B" "F" "F"s.
WE SHARE ZERO INSIDE JOKES ♪ BUT IF YOU QUIT TOMORROW ...
I'D BRIEFLY BE BUMMED ♪ WE'VE TALKED ABOUT FLEA BAG A
LOT ♪ WE STILL DO BECAUSE IT'S ALL
WE'VE GOT ♪ WE LIKE THE PLOT AND THE HOT
PRIEST ♪ YOU'VE GOT A WORK FRIEND.
>> Stephen: WOW.
( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERING )
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, JAMES!
LET'S GO FISHING!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH RYAN REYNOLDS AND ROB McELHENNEY.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY GUESTS TONIGHT ARE ACTORS WHO KNEW
PROFESSIONAL SOCCER TEAMS IN THE WORLD.
THAT STORY, AND THE STORY OF THE TEAM, IS TOLD IN THEIR NEW
DOCUMENTARY SERIES, "WELCOME TO WREXHAM."
PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," ROB McELHENNEY AND RYAN
REYNOLDS!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
>> HELLO!
>> WOW!
>> OH, MY GOD!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> THAT'S AMAZING.
>> UNREAL.
>> LET'S GO!
LET'S GO!
>> Stephen: THAT'S ALL WE HAVE TIME FOR.
GENTLEMEN, THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> IT'S VERY NICE TO BE HERE.
>> Stephen: DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER, YOU'VE BOTH BEEN HERE
DO YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, ROB?
>> YES, I DO.
I REMEMBER I WAS HERE IN FEBRUARY OF 2020.
AND IT WAS JUST ABOUT A WEEK BEFORE THE ENTIRE WORLD SHUT
DOWN.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> THAT'S A FUN STORY.
>> YEAH.
NOW, COINCIDENTALLY, THE SECOND GUEST THAT NIGHT-- OR THE
MUSICAL GUEST-- WAS JAMES TAYLOR.
>> Stephen: WHICH IS ALSO THE MUSICAL GUEST TONIGHT.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: JAMES TAYLOR IS THE MUSICAL GUEST TONIGHT.
>> LET'S JUST KNOCK ON ANYTHING WE CAN.
I HOPE THERE'S NOT SOME SORT OF CATASTROPHIC EVENT.
>> I FOR ONE LOVED HOME SCHOOLING.
>> I BET YOU DID.
>> Stephen: RYAN, DO YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME YOU WERE
HERE.
YOUR BUDDY, DEAD POOL STOPPED BY.
>> I CAME ON AS DEAD POOL.
BOMBED THE MONOLOGUE STEPHEN WAS DOING.
>> Stephen: INTERRUPTED THE MONOLOGUE.
>> I CAME OUT AND JUST CRUSHED IT.
( APPLAUSE ) ACTUALLY, ONE OF THE MOST--
PROBABLY THE MOST PANICKED I'VE EVER BEEN ON A LATE NIGHT SHOW,
I GRABBED STEPHEN-- I WAS READING THE TELEPROMPTER, AND,
BOY, I'LL TELL YOU, WE HAVE A VERY DIFFERENT PRESCRIPTION.
I GRABBED HIS EYEGLASSES AND I PUT THE EYEGLASSES OVER THE DEAD
POOL MASK AND IT WAS LIKE SOMEBODY VOMITED VALES IN BOTH
MY EYES AND JUST TURNED THE LIGHTS OUT.
I PRETTY MUCH JUST GUESSED THE REST OF THE MONOLOGUE.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ME.
>> I'VE GOT TO-- LET'S TALK ABOUT THE SHOW.
I LOVE THE IDEA OF THE SHOW.
I LOVE THE SPIRIT OF THE SHOW.
"WELCOME TO WREXHAM."
IT'S ON FX AND HULU NOW.
YOU'RE CO-OWNERS NOW-- THIS IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
IF I GET ANYTHING WRONG-- I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP-- YOU'RE
CO-OWNER OF THE WELSH SOCCER TEAM, THEY CALL IT FOOTBALL
WREXHAM FC, THE THIRD OLDEST PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL TEAM IN
ROB, I UNDERSTAND THIS IDEA STARTED WITH YOU.
IS THIS TRUE?
HOW SO AND WHY?
>> THAT IS TRUE.
OVER THE PANDEMIC-- I'M A SPORT JUNKY.
>> Stephen: WHO IS YOUR TEAM, PHILADELPHIA EAGLES,
PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES, PHILADELPHIA 76ers.
AND I'M BORN AND BRED IN PHILADELPHIA, AND THOSE CLUBS
HAVE JUST BEEN A HUGE PART OF MY LIFE.
OVER THE PANDEMIC I WAS SEARCH ARE FOR ANYTHING THAT I COULD
FIND THAT HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH LIVE SPORTS.
>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND, SOME PEOPLE LEARNED HOW TO BAKE
SOURDOUGH BREAD.
AND YOU SAID, "I WANT TO OWN A SPORTS TEAM."
>> BREAD WON'T BANKRUPT ME.
WHAT ELSE?
POW ELSE CAN I BE RIDDLED WITH ANXIETY EVERY WEEKEND?
>> Stephen: WOW.
>> LET'S BUY A FOOTBALL TEAM.
>> Stephen: HOW DID YOU GET HIM ROPED IN.
>> ONCE I LEARNED ABOUT THE IDEA OF RELEGATION AND PROMOTION
WHICH DOES NOT EXIST IN AMERICAN SPORTS.
>> Stephen: DO YOU MEAN?
>> THE IDEA IS IF YOU LOSE ENOUGH IN THE LEAGUE YOU CAN GET
KICKED OUT OF THE LEAGUE AND KICKED TO A LEAGUE LOWER THAN
THE LEAGUE YOU'RE IN.
>> Stephen: IT WOULD BE LIKE THE YANKEES GETTING SENT DOWN TO
THE MINORS.
>> THE MINORS.
>> Stephen: THE ENTIRE TEAM, EVERYONE.
>> AND IF THAT NEXT YEAR THEY CONTINUED TO LOSE, THEY WOULD
GET KICKED OUT OF THAT LEAGUE, AND THEY WOULD BE PLAYING, YOU
KNOW, BEER LEAGUE SOFTBALL IN POUGHKEEPSIE.
>> Stephen: SO WHAT LEAGUE IS WRECKSAM?
>> WE'RE IN THE FIFTH TIER.
>> WE HAVE SOME ROOM TO GROW.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> A LOT OF ROOM TO GROW.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> WE'RE GROWING FAST, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: THERE'S SOME ROOM IN THE TOE.
THERE'S SOME ROOM IN THE TOE.
>> TO GIVE YOU SOME HISTORICAL CONTEXT, BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT IS
SO FASCINATING ABOUT IT-- WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN
THE U.S.
THE CLUB THAT RYAN AND I PURCHASED IS 25 YEARS OLDER THAN
THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE.
>> Stephen: YEAH, WOW.
>> SO THERE'S A LOT OF HISTORY, A LOT OF GENERATIONS OF PEOPLE
THAT HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THIS GROUP.
>> THE STADIUM IS THE OLDEST INTERNATIONAL FOOTBALL STADIUM
ON EARTH.
COUNTLESS PEOPLE HAVE HAD THEIR ASHES SPREAD ACROSS THIS FIELD.
THIS STADIUM IS A CHURCH TO SO MANY FOLKS IN WRECKSAM.
>> Stephen: IT'S NOT A BIG TOWN.
>> VERY SMALL.
>> Stephen: HOW MANY PEOPLE.
>> ABOUT 50,000.
>> GIVE OR TAKE.
>> AND ROB CALLED ME WITH THIS IDEA AND I WAS JUST IMMEDIATELY
TAKEN.
IT WAS JUST SO UNEXPECTED.
I MEAN, I...
( LAUGHTER ) I...
EXPLAINING IT TO MY WIFE WAS CRAZY.
ONE OF THE CRAZIEST THINGS I'VE EVER HAD TO EXPLAIN.
BUT I GOT HOOKED.
I GOT INTO IT.
WE HAD NEVER MET BEFORE WE ACTUALLY BOUGHT-- YEAH.
>> WE HAD NEVER MET.
>> Stephen: DID YOU JUST TEXT HIM AND SAY, "DO YOU WANT TO BUY
A FOOTBALL CLUB?" >> NO IT WAS WORSE.
I SLID INTO HIS D.M., STEPHEN.
I SAID, "HEY, I LOVE YOUR SHOW.
YOU'RE GREAT ON YOUR SHOW."
THE NEXT THING HE TEXTS ME BACK AND SAYS,s, THANKS--"
>> WHEN RYAN REYNOLDS SLIDES INTO YOUR D.M.s YOU RESPOND,
RIGHT.
>> Stephen: WITH A BIG ASK FOR CASH I ASSUME.
>> I CHECKED HIM OUT.
HERE'S THE THING, ROB IS THE CREATOR AND RUNS IN THE STARS IN
THE SHOW CALLED IT'S IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA.
>> Stephen: A BEAUTIFULLY WRONG SHOW.
>> THIS IS HOW I KNEW I COULD WORK WITH THIS GUY BECAUSE THIS
SHOW IS ONE OF THE OLDEST-- LONGEST RUNNING SHOWS IN THE
HISTORY OF TELEVISION.
IT STARTED IN 1906, YUP, I THINK.
AT THAT TIME, ROB WAS-- >> AROUND THE BUCHANAN
ADMINISTRATION.
>> RIGHT.
I THINK ROB AT THAT TIME WAS PAID IN TUBERCULOSIS EVERY DAY.
AND IT JUST KEPT ON-- NOW, HERE'S THE THING.
NOBODY IN SHOW BUSINESS COULD RUN A SHOW THAT WELL FOR THAT
LONG IF THEY WERE A DICK.
( LAUGHTER ) HE WOULD HAVE-- IF THERE WAS
SOMETHING WRONG, HE WOULD HAVE ( BLEEP ) HIS WAY OUT OF THE
BUSINESS A DECADE AGO.
I KNEW, I BET THAT GUY IS GREAT.
I CALLED AROUND AND EVERYONE OF COURSE WAS LIKE, INTEGRITY,
STOCK MARKETS INNOVATIVE, INTERESTING."
>> KEEP GOING.
>> NO, THAT WAS IT.
THE OTHER THINGS-- >> THERE WAS SILENCE...
>> I WAS THINKING OF THE AWFUL THINGS BUT THEY DON'T NEED TO
KNOW THAT.
>> Stephen: YOU BUY THE TEAM.
HOW DOES ONE GO ABOUT BUYING THE TEAM.
DO YOU JUST CALL AND SAY, "DO YOU GUYS WANT TO BE BOUGHT?"
IS THERE A NOTICE ON CRAIGSLIST OR SOMETHING?
HOW DOES ONE-- HOW DO YOU GET A TEAM?
>> I GOOGLED "HOW DO YOU BUY A SPORTS FRANCHISE?"
( APPLAUSE ) FOR REAL.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.
STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE ROB McELHENNEY
AND RYAN REYNOLDS, EVERYBODY.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH RYAN REYNOLDS AND ROB McELHENNEY
FROM "WELCOME TO WREXHAM."
HOW MUCH-- HOW MUCH DID THIS-- HOW MUCH ARE WE TALKING?
HOW MUCH DID THIS COST YOU GUYS?
>> WHAT HAPPENED WAS THERE WAS THIS COMPANY CALLED INTERCIRCLE
SPORTS, WHICH IS IN NEW YORK CITY.
AND THIS MAN NAMED STEVE HOROWITZ WHO BROKERED THE
LIVERPOOL DEAL, A YANKEE PURCHASE, THE RED SOX.
AND I JUST CALLED HIM AND I SAID,"YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF ME
BUT YOUR SONS PROBABLY HAVE."
HE HAD TWO SONS.
HE SAID I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
AND HE CALLED ME BACK THE NEXT MORNING, SATURDAY MORNING, AND
HE SAID,"I'D LIKE TO WORK WITH YOU."
>> Stephen: DID YOU TELL HIM ABOUT HIM AT THAT POINT?
>> I DIDN'T CALL HIM UNTIL STEVE TOLD ME HOW MUCH MONEY IT WAS
GOING TO COST.
>> Stephen: OKAY, HOW MUCH MONEY--
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: HOW MUCH MONEY WOULD IT COST-- IF I WERE GOING
TO BUY A TEAM, HOW MUCH WOULD IT COST?
>> SO MUCH MONEY.
>> YEAH, SO I'VE BEEN VERY SUCCESSFUL.
I'VE BEEN VERY FORTUNATE, BUT I DO WORK IN BASIC CABLE
LATE-NIGHT COMEDY TELEVISION.
SO I'VE GOT TV MONEY.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> I NEEDED MOVIE STAR MONEY.
I NEEDED SUPER, SUPERHERO MONEY.
>> Stephen: YOU NEEDED "OWN MY OWN CELL PHONE MONEY."
>> IT TURNS OUT THE GYM COMPANY IS WORTH MORE THAN THIS ENTIRE
NETWORK OF THIS SHOW.
( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO GO WITH IT.
>> YOU DON'T NEED ANYTHING.
>> JUST KEEP TALKING, ROB.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THAT IS REALLY--
>> THAT AIN'T WATER.
>> Stephen: THAT IS REALLY TASTY.
LET'S JUST SAY YOU BOUGHT IT AND IT COST MILLIONS OF DOLLARS,
OKAY?
>> POUNDS.
( BLEEP ).
YEAH, POUNDS.
>> REMEMBER, POUNDS ARE MORE THAN-- POUNDS ARE MORE THAN
DOLLARS.
>> TURNS OUT POUNDS ARE HEAVY.
POUNDS ARE HEAVY.
>> I WAS HOPING DRACHMAS UPON.
>> Stephen: OR LIRA.
YOU GOT THE TEAM NOW.
WHAT DO YOU THEN DO?
WHEN YOU GO TO TAKE OVER A TEAM, DON'T YOU HAVE TO GET TO KNOW
THE FANS?
DON'T THE FANS HAVE TO TRUST YOU?
DON'T YOU HAVE TO GET TO KNOW THE PEOPLE IN THE TOWN?
OTHERWISE YOU'RE CARPETBAGGERS WITH A FUNNY IDEA, LET'S BUY A
TEAM.
HOW DO YOU CONVINCE THEM YOU'RE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS?
>> FROM THE VERY BEGINNING WE PROMISED-- AND THIS IS THE
TRUTH-- THAT WE'LL ALWAYS MAKE FUN OF OURSELVES BUT WE'LL NEVER
MAKE FUN OF THE SITUATION.
THESE PEOPLE TAKE THIS VERY SERIOUSLY, AS THEY SHOULD.
IT'S THE BEATING HEART OF THEIR COMMUNITY.
WE KNEW IF WE DID SOMETHING LIKE, THIS THE COMMUNITY WOULD
COME FIRST.
WE WEAR OUR HEARTS ON OUR SLEEVES, AND WE DO WHAT WE SAY.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP OF WHAT THE TEAM MEANS TO THE TOWN.
ANYTHING WE NEED TO KNOW BEFORE WE GO TO IT?
>> THIS IS HEART OF WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO DO WITH THE SHOW
ITSELF, TOO, TO DEMONSTRATE THAT SPORTS ISN'T JUST FOR SPORTING
PEOPLE.
STORTS IS STORYTELLING AND YOU'LL SEE HOW THESE PEOPLE LOVE
THEIR CLUB.
>> Stephen: JIM.
>> IN LIFE, I HAVE JUST A MEMORY.
IT JUST BASICALLY IS.
THAT'S WHY YOU GET INTO THEM SO MUCH WHEN YOU'RE IN THEM.
>> I LOOK AT MY KIDS, AND THEY'RE JUMPING UP AND DOWN, AND
I'M, LIKE, HOLDING THEM IN THE AIR.
I WILL JUST TAKE THE TIMES WHILE I CAN.
.>> YOU WANT TO CREATE MEMORIES FOR OTHER PEOPLE AND HAVE
SOMETHING THEY CAN TELL THEIR YOUNG KIDS AND THEIR CHILDREN
ABOUT.
( CHEERING ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> THAT GIVES ME GOOSEBUMPS WATCHING IT.
>> Stephen: ME, TOO.
ME, TOO.
WE HAVE TO ATTACK A BREAK.
STICK AROUND.
WHEN WE COME BACK, I WILL ASK THEM HOW THEY ARE MARKETING
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH RYAN REYNOLDS AND THE OTHER GUY.
( LAUGHTER ) >> THAT'S ME.
>> Stephen: RYAN, YOU'RE A TALKER.
YOU'RE A MARKETING EXPERT.
YOU COFOUNDED A DIGITAL MARKETING COMPANY.
HOW ARE YOU HANDLING THE MARKETING FOR THIS?
>> I LOVE THE MARKETING.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, SPORTS ESPECIALLY IT'S SUCH A GREAT--
EVERYTHING IS A TIE-IN, EVERYTHING IS A STORYTELLING
OPPORTUNITY.
SO, YEAH, WE'VE PARTNERED WITH TIKTOK TO HELP SUPPORT THE CLUB.
ROB AND I ARE AUTHORS NOW OF A RARE BIT COOKBOOK.
>> Stephen: FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT WELSH RAREBIT
IS.
>> ROB, TELL THEM?
>> BREAD AND CHEESE.
>> 20 RECIPES.
>> 20.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN GET THE HATS.
>> OH, YEAH, ALL SORTS OF MERCH THAT GOES WITH IT.
THOSE ARE THE JERSEYS.
PRETTY GREAT.
>> Stephen: SO YOU PARTNERED WITH TIKTOK.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND OUR FRIENDS EXPEDIA.
>> Stephen: AVIATION A SPONSOR?
>> WE SPONSOR ALL THE TRAINING KITS AND STUFF LIKE THAT.
IT'S PRETTY-- IT'S PRETTY EXCITING.
I WORK WITH A COMPANY CALLED "ONE PASSWORD" WHICH IS A
DIGITAL SECURITY FIRST LADY.
THEY'RE AMAZING.
THEY WANT TO BE A TIE-IN WITH WREXHAM FC, SO WE SHOT A SPOT
WITH THEM AND OF COURSE PUT IT ON TIKTOK, WHICH IS A LOT OF
FUN.
THIS IS A CLIP WITH PAUL MULLEN WHO IS OUR JUST-- HE WON-- IS IT
THE GOLDEN BOOT, IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL IT?
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> HE SCORED SO MANY-- >> HE WAS THE GUY WHO SCORED IN
THE CLIP.
>> LAST YEAR HE WAS JUST A HERO IN THIS TOWN.
HE SCORED SOMETHING LIKE 25 GOALS, SOMETHING LIKE THAT,
MAYBE MORE.
AND HE'S REALLY COME IN AND JUST SORT OF CHANGED THE GAME FOR US
AND HE'S BEEN REALLY INCREDIBLE.
THE ONLY THING HE LIKES MORE THAN SCORING GOALS IS GETTING
KICKED OUT OF GAMES.
>> HE LOVES IT.
>> IT'S A RED CARD.
YOU GET A RED CARD, YOU'RE KICKED OUT OF THE GAME, YOU DO
SOMETHING CRAZY.
HE HAD BEEN RED CARDED WHEN I SHOT THIS COMMERCIAL, SO I PUT
HIM FRONT AND CENTER, BECAUSE HE HAD JUST GOTTEN RED CARDED AND
GIVEN ME A BIT OF AN ULCER AND I DECIDED TO GO HARD ON HIM GUYS,
WE'RE A PROFESSIONAL SOCCER CLUB.
SOCCER.
YOU COULD GET STABBED FOR THAT.
IN THE MOMENT.
MULLEN!
I WILL SHOVE A RED CARD SO FAR UP YOUR ASS, THAT THEY WILL HOLD
A FUNERAL FOR MY HAND.
I WILL SHOVE A RED CARD SO FAR UP YOUR ASS, THEY'LL NEED A TEAM
OF DOCTORS TO FIND MY HAND.
I WILL SHOVE A RED CARD SO FAR UP YOUR ASS, YOU WILL BE LEGALLY
CLASSIFIED AS A PUPPET.
OF ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) >> I NEVER SAW THAT!
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: OUTTAKES.
>> HE'S FUNNY!
HE'S PRETTY FUNNY!
>> Stephen: OKAY, YOU GUYS ARE FINANCIALLY INVESTED.
HOW EMOTIONALLY INVESTED ARE THE TWO OF YOU?
LIKE, WHAT'S IT LIKE TO WATCH THE GAME?
HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO GO THERE AND WATCH-- I KNOW YOU DID THIS
ORIGINALLY DURING COVID.
DID YOU OWN THE TEAM BEFORE YOU WERE ABLE TO GO?
>> YEAH.
>> YES.
>> YEAH, IT KILLED US, WE COULDN'T GO THERE.
IT WAS SUCH A STRANGE PROPOSITION BECAUSE WE COULD
ONLY WATCH THESE CRAPPY FEEDS FROM WALES.
THERE'S NO ONE ALLOWED IN THE STADIUM.
IT WAS JUST SAD.
AND NOW IT'S JUST LIKE NIGHT AND DAY.
WE WERE THERE TWO WEEKS AGO?
>> YEAH.
>> WE'VE BEEN GOING QUITE A BIT.
IT'S, YEAH, PRETTY -- >> Stephen: CAN YOU SHOW ME
YOUR GAME FACE?
>> OH.
>> Stephen: LET'S SEE BOTH.
CAN YOU GET A SHOT OF BOTH OF THESE GUYS?
CAN YOU DO THAT?
I'LL GIVE YOU, LIKE, ALL RIGHT, THE OTHER TEAM HAS THE BALL.
DRIVING DOWN THE PITCH, TOWARDS YOUR GOAL.
THE OTHER TEAM HAS THE BALL.
>> THERE'S A LOT OF PACING, SO THERE'S NOT, LIKE, A LOT OF-- WE
DON'T REALLY SIT STILL.
IT'S LIKE-- >> YEAH.
>> IT'S REALLY LIKE-- AND HE GETS IN MY WAY.
>> Stephen: YOUR TEAM STEALS IT BACK!
THEY'VE GOT THE BALL.
OPPOSING GOAL!
SHEA SHOOT, THEY MISS.
>> YOU SON OF A ( BLEEP )!
>> OF COURSE THEY'RE GOING TO MISS
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: SO YOU CARE.
YOU CARE.
THERE YOU GO.
( LAUGHTER ) >> GIVE ME-- YEAH-- ANOTHER ONE.
>> MY KIDS, MY KIDS LOVE IT.
THEY'RE LIKE, "DADDY WATCHES THE FOOTBALL GAMES AND HE GOES
CRAZY."
>> MY CHILDREN ARE LIKE, "DO YOU ENJOY THIS?
I DON'T GET IT."
I SAID, "I LOVE IT AS MUCH AS THE EAGLES."
THEY SAID, "WE KNOW.
ONDS IS YOUAC THE SAME WAY YOU DO ON SATURDAYS."
>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT THE WELCH PEOPLE THEMSELVES.
HAVE YOU LEARNED ANY WELCH WORDS?
THERE'S A RIGHT JAWBREAKER OF A LANGUAGE.
>> AND GROWING.
THE WELCH LANGUAGE IS GROWING.
IT'S BUILDING BACK UP AGAIN.
IT'S REALLY EXCITING.
ROB HAS BEEN LEARNING A LITTLE BIT OF IT.
HIT THEM.
HIT THEM WITH SOME OF THE WELCH.
>> I LEARNED THE LONGEST TOWN NAME IN ALL OF WESTERN EUROPE.
BUT YOU'D HAVE TO PUT IT UP ON THE SCREEN SO YOU COULD REALLY
SEE -- >> Stephen: WE WILL.
>> I WAS 10 WHEN YOU STARTED TELLING THIS STORY.
GIVE IT TO THEM!
OKAY!
COME ON.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> I THINK THAT'S IT.
THAT'S IMPRESSIVE.
>> Stephen: GENTLEMEN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING ON HERE.
IT'S A PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU.
CONGRATULATIONS ON THIS WONDERFUL SHOW.
AND THIS WONDERFUL IDEA.
AND GOOD LUCK WITH THE SEASON.
I HOPE YOU GET-- WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF RELEGATION.
>> PROMOTED.
>> PROMOTION.
>> Stephen: GOOD LUCK ON THE PROMOTIONS THANK YOU SO MUCH.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
"WELCOME TO WREXHAM" IS ON FX AND HULU NOW.
NEW EPISODES AIR WEDNESDAYS ON FX.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A.
PERFORMANCE BY JAMES TAYLOR.
>> PERFORMING "MEXICO" FROM HIS "GREATEST HITS" ALBUM WITH HIS
WIFE KIM TAYLOR, SON HENRY TAYLOR, LARRY GOLDINGS, LOUIS
CATO, AND OUR BAND, JAMES TAYLOR!
( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ WAY DOWN HERE
YOU NEED A REASON TO MOVE FEEL LIKE A FOOL
♪ RUNNING YOUR STATESIDE GAMES LOSE YOUR LOAD
♪ LEAVE YOUR MIND BEHIND, BABY JAMES
♪ OH, MEXICO IT SOUNDS SO SIMPLE I JUST GOT
TO GO ♪ THE SUN'S SO HOT I FORGOT TO
GO HOME ♪ I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO GO NOW
AMERICANO GOT THE SLEEPY EYE ♪ BUT HIS BODY'S STILL SHAKING
LIKE A LIVE WIRE ♪ SLEEPY "SEÑORITA" WITH THE
EYES ON FIRE ♪ OH, MEXICO
IT SOUNDS SO SWEET WITH THE SUN SINKING LOW
♪ MOON'S SO BRIGHT LIKE TO LIGHT UP THE NIGHT
LIKE TO MAKE EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ BABY'S HUNGRY AND THE MONEY'S ALL GONE
♪ THE FOLKS BACK HOME DON'T WANT TO TALK ON THE PHONE
♪ SHE GETS A LONG LETTER, SENDS BACK A POSTCARD
TIMES ARE HARD ♪ OH, DOWN IN MEXICO
I NEVER REALLY BEEN SO I DON'T REALLY KNOW
♪ OH, MY MEXICO I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO GO
♪ OH, MEXICO I NEVER REALLY BEEN BUT I'D SURE
LIKE TO GO ♪ OH, DOWN IN MEXICO
I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO GO DOWN NOW GO DOWN.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ MEXICO MEXICO, MEXICO ♪ OH, MEXICO, MEXICO
OH, MEXICO MEXICO, MEXICO.
♪ OH, OH, DOWN IN MEXICO OH, OH, TOWN IN MEXICO.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THANK YOU, JAMES.
THANK YOU, JAMES.
THANK YOU, KIM.
THANK YOU, HENRY.
JAMES TAYLOR, EVERYBODY!
THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW."
GOOD NIGHT.