1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:04,137 >> SCANDAL IN THE CHESSWORLD, CHESS CAM CHEEN MAGNUS CARLSEN 2 00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:09,342 RESIGNED FROM A MATCH IN PROTEST YESTERDAY AFTER ALLEGATIONS THAT 3 00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:13,613 HIS OPPONENT HANS NIEMANN HAD USED ANAL BEADS AND AI TO CHEAT 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,882 IN A PREVIOUS MATCH. 5 00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:18,752 ALLEGEDLY AN ACCOMPLICE WAS USING ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE TO 6 00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:21,721 DETERMINE WHAT MOVES NIEMANN SHOULD MAKE AND THEN SENDING 7 00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:25,525 SIGNALS TO A VIBRATING SET OF ANAL BEADS WHICH NIEMANN IS 8 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:30,497 ACCUSED OF HAVING INSIDE HIM TO COMMUNICATE THOSE PERFECT MOVES. 9 00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:33,967 BUT THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME AN ATHLETE HAS ATTEMPTED TO ENHANCE 10 00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:37,737 THEIR PERFORMANCE USING VIBRATING ANAL BEADS. 11 00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:41,741 >> THE FINAL RUN FOR INGEMAR JOHANNSON, WILL HAVE TO POUR IT 12 00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:45,478 ON HERE FOR ANY CHANCE EVER A MEDAL. 13 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:46,613 HERE HE COMES. 14 00:00:46,679 --> 00:00:49,282 OH, JOHANNSON HAVING SOME TROUBLE RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE, 15 00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:51,518 GETTING HIS CONTROL. 16 00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:53,887 MORE DIFFICULTY FOR THE YOUNG SWEDE. 17 00:00:53,953 --> 00:00:55,221 HE'S ALL OVER THE PLACE. 18 00:00:55,288 --> 00:00:57,724 HE HAS REGAINED HIS FOOTING. 19 00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:58,491 NOPE, HE'S HAVING MORE TROUBLE. 20 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:01,461 SOMETHING SEEMS TO BE WRONG. 21 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:05,765 WAIT, HE'S UP. 22 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:06,699 NO, DOWN AGAIN. 23 00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:09,969 NOT A GREAT RUN SO FAR FOR INGEMAR JOHANNSON. 24 00:01:10,036 --> 00:01:14,441 NOTHING LEFT TO DO BUT WALK HOME. 25 00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:22,148 >> IT'S THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT. 26 00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:24,884 TONIGHT THE WRONG SIDE OF HISTORY. 27 00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:29,823 PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES BILLY EICHNER. 28 00:01:29,889 --> 00:01:34,494 AND U.S.A. ID ADMINISTRATOR SAMANTHA POWER. 29 00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:41,334 FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW BAND AND NOW LIVE ON 30 00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:46,139 TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S 31 00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:48,208 STEPHEN COLBERT! 32 00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:05,291 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). 33 00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:12,265 >> Stephen: WE'RE BACK, BABY, WE'RE BACK. 34 00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:19,839 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) HEY, EVERYBODY, THANK YOU VERY 35 00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:21,040 MUCH. 36 00:02:21,107 --> 00:02:23,476 WELCOME, WELCOME, ONE AND ALL TO THE LATE SHOW, IN HERE, OUT 37 00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:26,546 THERE, ALL AROUND THE WORLD, I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. 38 00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:30,917 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). 39 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:35,989 >> Stephen: YOU WATCH THE SHOW, YOU WATCH THE SHOW AND I 40 00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:37,190 SUSPECT YOU ARE NOW. 41 00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:41,327 YOU KNOW THAT I LIKE WRESTLING WITH LIFE'S BIG QUESTIONS LIKE 42 00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:44,397 WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE OR BETTER STILL WHY DON'T 43 00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:52,138 MORE BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO TERRIBLE PEOPLE. 44 00:02:52,205 --> 00:03:02,482 PEOPLE-- PEOPLE LIKE FLORIDA GOVERNOR AND BODY BUILDER-- 45 00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:07,153 FLORIDA GOVERNOR AND BODY BUILDER WHO ALWAYS GETS 46 00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:11,858 HEAD DAY, RON DESANTIS, YOU'LL RECALL THAT GOVERNOR DESANTIS 47 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:15,094 TRIED TO SCORE CHEAP POLITICAL POINTS IN FLORIDA BY DRAGOONING 48 00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:19,299 PEOPLE OFF THE STREETS IN TEXAS AND SMUGGLING THEM TO 49 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:20,366 MASSACHUSETTS. 50 00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:22,168 WELL, GOOD NEWS WE FOUND OUT THAT A TEXAS SHERIFF IS 51 00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:26,773 INVESTIGATING DESANTIS' ROLE IN FLYING MIGRANTS TO MARTHA'S 52 00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:28,007 VINEYARD. 53 00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:30,410 HELL YEAH! 54 00:03:30,476 --> 00:03:31,611 GET HIM! 55 00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:35,782 YOU CAN CATCH IT ALL ON THE NEW TV SHOW WALKER TEXAS FLORIDA 56 00:03:35,848 --> 00:03:38,484 MARTHA'S VINEYARD! 57 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:44,023 (LAUGHTER) CHUCK NORRIS WAS GOOD IN LENNON. 58 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:47,226 THE INVESTIGATOR IN QUESTION IS BEAR COUNTY SHERIFF AND 59 00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:53,366 CHARACTER CUT FROM ME WEE'S PLAY HOUSE HALF INJURY SALAZAR. 60 00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:56,703 JAVIER SALAZAR, INVESTIGATING THE CASE WHICH HE CALLS AN ABUSE 61 00:03:56,769 --> 00:03:58,471 OF HUMAN RIGHTS EVEN THOUGH IT IS AN OFF SITED SPECIFIC LAW 62 00:03:58,538 --> 00:03:59,973 THAT MAY HAVE BEEN BROKEN. 63 00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:03,476 BUT IT IS JUST LIKE PORNOGRAPHY, YOU KNOW IT WHEN YOU SEE IT AND 64 00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:12,352 YOU DON'T WANT IT TO INVOLVE RON DESANTIS. 65 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:16,155 WHAT, IT'S SKIP HEAD DAY, YOU KNOW? 66 00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:20,793 IT AIN'T JUST DESANTIS, THIS WEEKEND TEXAS GOVERNOR GREG 67 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:24,163 ABBOTT SENT AT LEAST NINE BUS LOADS TO THE PORT AUTHORITY IN 68 00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:25,298 NEW YORK CITY. 69 00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,700 OH NO, GOVERNOR ABBOTT, NOW WORKERS WILL HAVE DEAL WITH 70 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:30,870 CROWDS OF CONFUSED AND SAD PEOPLE AT THE PORT AUTHORITY. 71 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:38,478 WHAT WILL WE DO! 72 00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:41,547 OH NO! 73 00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,584 SO YOU SEND SOME BUSES, OKAY. 74 00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:46,119 TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME, TEXAS. 75 00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:49,288 YOU SEND NEW YORK CITY IMMIGRANTS, WE'RE GOING TO SEND 76 00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:53,860 TEXAS A COUPLE OF BUS LOADS OF TIME SQUARE TOURISTS. 77 00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:57,563 ENJOY HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE HOLDING M & MS WANDERING AIMLESSLY IN 78 00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:02,135 SEARCH OF THE BUNA GUMP SHRIMP RIMP COMPANY, YOU KNOW WHERE 79 00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:06,172 ELSE YOU CAN BY M & M, EVERY STORE IN AMERICA. 80 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:10,476 I WOULDN'T EAT SHRIMP OUT OF THE HUDSON. 81 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:14,414 SPEAKING OF AMERICA, LAND THAT I LOVE, PRESIDENT OF AMERICA JOE 82 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,717 BIDEN MADE BIG NEWS ON THE "60 MINUTES" THIS WEEKEND WHEN HE 83 00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:22,188 MAYBE KIND OF PREMATURELY DECLARED THAT THE PANDEMIC IS 84 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,590 OVER, WHICH MARKS THE FIRST TIME THAT JOE BIDEN HAS EVER MOVED 85 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,426 TOO FAST. 86 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:33,733 (LAUGHTER) LET'S GO! 87 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:34,167 COME ON! 88 00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:40,673 WHO'S WITH ME? 89 00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:43,609 BIDEN'S ANNOUNCEMENT TOOK THE WHITE HOUSE BY SURPRISE AND 90 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,913 THEY'RE NOW TRYING TO BACK PEDAL SAYING SURE, THE PRESIDENT COULD 91 00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:48,314 HAVE BEEN MORE NUANCED. 92 00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:50,783 HE WAS SIMPLY SAYING WE HAVE HIT A DIFFERENT PHASE. 93 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:56,656 OKAY, SAYING SOMETHING IS OVER, KIND OF A MISLEADING WAY TO 94 00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:58,157 DECLARE A NEW FACE. 95 00:05:58,224 --> 00:06:01,260 CAROL, IT'S OVER, I CAN'T TAKE YOU YOU ANY MORE BECAUSE I'M 96 00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:02,862 ASKING YOU TO MARRY ME. 97 00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:06,499 STOP CRYING, IT IS A NEW PHASE. 98 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:13,206 WHY ARE YOU-- LITTLE KNOWN FACT OTHER COUNTRIES HAVE LEADERS 99 00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:14,373 TOO. 100 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:17,577 TAKE NEW BRITISH PRIME MINISTER AND WOMAN ABOUT TO CATCH A 101 00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:20,379 MARSHMALLOW IN HER MUT. 102 00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:24,183 LIZ TRUSS, PRIME MINISTER TRUZ REPLACED BORE IS JOHNSON A 103 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:27,320 COUPLE WEEKS AGO BUT BASED ON THIS FOOTAGE OF TRUSS ARRIVING 104 00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:29,689 AT WESTMINSTER ABBEY FOR THE QUEEN'S FUNERAL, AUSTRALIAN TV 105 00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:34,160 DID NOT GET THE MEMO. 106 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,328 >> NO, HARD TO IDENTIFY. 107 00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:40,166 MAYBE MINOR ROYALS, MEMBERS OF THE-- I CAN'T IDENTIFY THEM. 108 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,834 >> WE CAN'T WITH EVERYONE, UNFORTUNATELY. 109 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:45,104 THEY LOOK LIKE THEY COULD WELL BE LOCAL DIGNITARIES, HARD TO 110 00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:47,974 SEE, WE ARE LOOKING AT THE BAGS OF-- BACKS OF THEIR HEAD. 111 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,811 >> WE ARE GETTING NOW TO THE POINT OF THE END THEY-- I'M JUST 112 00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:57,850 TOLD THAT WAS LIZ TRUSS, THE NEW PRIME MINISTER. 113 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:58,484 >> Stephen: YEAH. 114 00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:04,157 HOW IS YOUR NEW JOB, LIZ. 115 00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:05,291 WOW. 116 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:08,327 SHE'S THE LEADER OF GREAT BRITAIN AND NO ONE RECOGNIZED 117 00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:09,662 HER. 118 00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:12,532 I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT SESSION OF PARLIAMENT, EVERYONE 119 00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:19,438 PRAY RISE AND BE UPSTANDING FOR THE HONORABLE-- CHIEF MADAME BIG 120 00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:20,306 GUY. 121 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:23,943 GIVE IT UP FOR THE LADY IN THE FLAT HAT. 122 00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:27,413 SOME OF YOU MIGHT BE SAYING COME ON. 123 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,483 THOSE PRESENTERS WERE AUSTRALIAN, HOW ARE THEY 124 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:33,152 SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT BRITISH POLITICIANS, TO WHICH I SAY THAT 125 00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:34,387 IS NO EXCUSE. 126 00:07:34,453 --> 00:07:38,491 I'M NOT AUSTRALIAN BUT I AM MORE THAN FAMILIAR WITH THEIR PRIME 127 00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:46,165 MINISTER, WOLVERINE. 128 00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:53,406 (APPLAUSE) I'M JOKING, HERE IS THEIR ACTUAL 129 00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:54,307 PRIME MINISTER. 130 00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:55,575 (LAUGHTER) OF COURSE THE BIGGEST POLITICAL 131 00:07:55,641 --> 00:08:00,346 NEWS IS THE UPCOMING MID TERMS AND ONE OF THE RACES THAT COULD 132 00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:04,784 DECIDE CONTROL OF THE SENATE IS IN GEORGIA BETWEEN DEMOCRATIC 133 00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:09,222 INCUMBENT AND YOUR CHURCH'S NUMBER ONE GRANDMA MAGNET RAFAEL 134 00:08:09,288 --> 00:08:13,092 WARNOCK AND HIS OPPONENT FORMER NFL PLAYER HERSCHEL WALKER SEEN 135 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:16,562 HERE FINDING OUT HE'S RUNNING FOR SENATE. 136 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:17,096 WHAT? 137 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,199 COME ON, MAN? 138 00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:21,300 WHAT? 139 00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:23,436 WALKER HAS NO POLITICAL EXPERIENCE OR QUALIFICATIONS. 140 00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:26,539 BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE HE ALSO LIES A LOT. 141 00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:30,476 SO FAR IN THIS CAMPAIGN IT HAS COME TO LIFE THAT WALKER HAS 142 00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:32,979 CLAIMED TO OWN COMPANIES THAT DON'T EXIST. 143 00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:36,883 CLAIMED TO BE IN LAW ENFORCEMENT WHEN HE WASN'T AND LIED ABOUT 144 00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:39,218 GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE WHICH HE DID NOT DO. 145 00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:41,454 WELL, THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE. 146 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,789 IT'S HARD TO KEEP UP WITH YOUR COURSE WORK WHEN ARE YOU A 147 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,525 PRETEND COP RUNNING MULTIPLE FAKE COMPANIES. 148 00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:51,464 SO FAR, SO FAR WALKER FANS HERE, THERE YOU GO. 149 00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:56,736 SO FAR, TOO LATE, SO FAR WALKER HAS BEEN DOING ALL HE CAN TO 150 00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:59,071 AVOID DEBATING HIS OPPONENT. 151 00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:02,141 HE EVEN TURNED DOWN A DEBATE WITH WARNOCK BECAUSE OF SUNDAY 152 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:06,479 NIGHT FOOTBALL EVEN THOUGH IT WAS ON A THURSDAY. 153 00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:13,519 (APPLAUSE) WHOW! 154 00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:18,190 LOOK, I WOULD LOVE TO DEBATE BUT I CAN'T, MY DOG ATE MY PODIUM 155 00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:21,260 AND NIE FLIGHT WAS DELAYED GOING INTO A TUNNEL. 156 00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:24,130 ANYWAY, GOT TO G IT IS TACO MONDAY, I HAVE A REAL CASE OF 157 00:09:24,196 --> 00:09:28,167 THE THURSDAYS. 158 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:33,105 TGI-W. 159 00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:35,808 (APPLAUSE) WALKER HAS SINCE AGREED TO 160 00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:38,477 DEBATED WARNOCK ON OCTOBER 14th, BUT WHEN ASKED ABOUT 161 00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:42,481 IT, HE TRIED TO LOWER EXPECTATIONS SAYING I'M NOT THAT 162 00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:43,783 SMART. 163 00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:46,485 HE'S A PREPARER, WARNOCK IS SMART AND WEARS THESE NICE SUITS 164 00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:50,389 SO HE IS GOING TO SHOW OFF AND EMBARRASS ME AT THE DEBATE. 165 00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:57,997 CLAIMS HIS BOLD NEW CAMPAIGN SLOGAN VOTE WALKER, I'M NOT THAT 166 00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:58,798 SMART. 167 00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:05,171 ANOTHER RACE-- NO, NO, NO, THANK YOU. 168 00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:06,505 BACK AT YOU. 169 00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:09,809 ANOTHER RACE FOLKS ARE WATCHING IS IN UTAH FEATURING STATE 170 00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:13,512 SENATE CANDIDATE AND WALL MARTED GREETER WHO WON'T LET YOU PASS 171 00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:17,984 UNTIL YOU HAVE ANSWERED HERRIED EL, LINDAR PAULSON. 172 00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:22,188 PAUL SON WENT VIRAL OVER THE WEEKEND FOR A NEW CAMPAIGN AD. 173 00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:23,622 DO ENJOY. 174 00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:26,559 HEY UTAH DISTRICT 12 SNOALT LISTEN UP RIGHT HERE. 175 00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:30,296 ♪ THERE'S A NEW NAME ON THE BALLOT FOR THE SENATE THIS YEAR. 176 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:33,966 ♪ MY NAME IS LINDA PAULSON REPUBLICAN AND AWESOME. 177 00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:34,800 ♪ LOVE GOD AND FAMILY. 178 00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,369 ♪ AND THE STULINGS. 179 00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:38,504 ♪ I'M PRORELIGIOUS FREEDOM. 180 00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,339 ♪ PROLIFE, PROPOLICE. 181 00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:43,142 ♪ THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS AND THE RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH. 182 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,811 ♪ GOVERNMENT PROGRAMS SHOULD LEAD TO SELF SUFFICIENT SEE. 183 00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:47,947 ♪ AND SUPPORT TRADITIONAL FAMILY. 184 00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:50,983 ♪ AS THE FUNDAMENTAL UNIT OF SOCIETY. 185 00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:54,754 ♪ BUT IN SCHOOLS THEY'RE PUSHING FOR NEW BELIEFS. 186 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:55,421 ♪ AND JUST TO CLARIFY. 187 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,791 ♪ THAT'S A AS A FEMALE ADULT. 188 00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:04,830 ♪ I KNOW WHAT A WOMAN IS. 189 00:11:04,897 --> 00:11:06,899 >> Stephen: OKAY. 190 00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:09,502 THERE IS A LOT TO UNPACK THERE. 191 00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:14,740 FIRST OF ALL, HEY LINDA, AS A FEMALE ADULT, DO YOU KNOW WHAT A 192 00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:16,842 RHYME IS? 193 00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:20,012 TRADITIONALLY, THAT'S A FAIRLY IMPORTANT PART OF THE WHOLE 194 00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:21,414 RAPPING THING. 195 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:25,384 REMINDED ME OF THAT FAMOUS JAY-Z LYRIC, IF YOU ARE HAVING GIRL 196 00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:26,786 PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON. 197 00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:31,724 AND JUST TO CLARIFY, AS A FEMALE ADULT, I KNOW WHAT I WOMAN IS. 198 00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:36,695 BUT, IN PAULSON'S DEFENSE, SHE DOES SUPPORT TRADITIONAL 199 00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:37,863 FAMILIAR-I-LY. 200 00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:40,232 ACCORDING TO HER WEBSITE SHE'S GOT FIVE GIRLS AND FOUR BOYS 201 00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:43,235 PLUS 35 GRANDCHILDREN AND 14 GREATS. 202 00:11:43,302 --> 00:11:50,309 49 GRAND AND GREAT GRANDCHILDREN AND NONE OF THEM KNOW GARAGE 203 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:51,243 BAND? 204 00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,779 STILL PAULSON IS 80 YEARS OLD, GOD BLESS HER. 205 00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:56,649 AND THIS IS HER FIRST POLITICAL CAMPAIGN. 206 00:11:56,715 --> 00:11:58,851 SO YOU HAVE TO RESPECT HER FOR GOING VIRAL. 207 00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:03,155 IN FACT HAVE I A LITTLE MESSAGE THAT I THINK MIGHT RESONATE WITH 208 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:04,824 LINDA. 209 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:08,227 GENTLEMEN? 210 00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:11,597 ♪ HEY LINDA PAULSON, LISTEN UP RIGHT HERE. 211 00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:14,700 ♪ YOU HAVE THE HIP, HOPEN-EST AD THIS YEAR. 212 00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:16,669 ♪ I'M STEPHEN KOLPACK BEDDER. 213 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,270 ♪ THE CONSTITUTION IS GOOD. 214 00:12:18,337 --> 00:12:19,738 ♪ AND JUST TO CLARIFY AS A COMEDIAN. 215 00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:23,742 ♪ I WANT TO YOU MAKE MORE SONGS PLEASE. 216 00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:26,946 ♪ WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 217 00:12:27,012 --> 00:12:32,952 MY GUESTS ARE BILLY EICHNER AND HEAD OF U.S.A. ID SAMANTHA 218 00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:33,719 POWER. 219 00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:36,021 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK "MEANWHILE." 220 00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:38,090 COME ON, Y'ALL. BLANKER BLANK 221 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:20,599 >> Stephen: GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND, EVERYBODY. 222 00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:23,602 (APPLAUSE) LOUIS, YOU GUYS SOUND FANTASTIC 223 00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:24,803 TONIGHT. 224 00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:28,974 YOU ALWAYS FANTASTIC BUT IT'S REALLY NICE TO SEE JOE TAYLOR 225 00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:31,644 BACK, GOOD TO SEE YOU, MISSED YOU COWBOY. 226 00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:33,279 GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK. 227 00:13:33,345 --> 00:13:36,382 I MISSED YOU, WE HAVE SOME DELIGHTFUL GUEST THERE EVENING, 228 00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:41,353 WE USE HAVE DELIGHTFUL GUESTS BUT THESE TWO, I'M VERY EXCITED 229 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:42,688 ABOUT. 230 00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:46,926 PULITZER PRIZE WINNER, HEAD OF U.S.A. ID, FORMER U.N. 231 00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:52,097 AMBASSADOR OF THE UNITED STATES, SAMANTHA POWER IS SHEER. 232 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:54,967 (APPLAUSE) , U.N. GENERAL A SEM BLEERKS 233 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:57,136 U.N. GENERAL ASSEMBLY IS IN SESSION THIS WEEK, WHICH IS WHY 234 00:13:57,203 --> 00:14:01,640 IT TOOK ME TWO HOURS AND TEN MINUTES TO GET TO WORK THIS 235 00:14:01,707 --> 00:14:02,841 MORNING. 236 00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:05,344 I'M GOING TO TRY NOT TO TAKE OUT MY ANGER ON SAMANTHA POWERS. 237 00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:06,478 >> IT'S NOT HER FAULT. 238 00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:10,149 >> Stephen: AND ALSO BILLY ON THE STREET HIMSELF, BILLY 239 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:14,587 EICHNER IS GOING TO BE HERE. 240 00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:18,924 (APPLAUSE) AND FOLKS, I'M SURE YOU HAVE 241 00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:22,928 SEEN ALL THE NEWS ABOUT HURRICANE FIONA THE DEVASTATING 242 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:27,900 STORM THAT HIT PUERTO RICO ON SUNDAY KNOCKING OUT POWER TO THE 243 00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:30,135 ISLAND, DESTROYING THOUSANDS OF HOMES AND I'M SURE YOU ALL WANT 244 00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:31,403 TO HELP. 245 00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:34,573 BUT OFTEN NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE WANT TO HELP, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT 246 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,443 TO DO WE HERE AT THE LATE SHOW HAVE PUT TOGETHER A LIST OF 247 00:14:37,509 --> 00:14:40,145 ORGANIZATIONS TO WHICH YOU CAN DO FLAIT TO HELP THE PEOPLE OF 248 00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:42,915 PUERTO RICO STVMENT PINNED TO OUR TWITTER FEED. 249 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:46,919 JUST GO TO@COLBERT DDZ LATESHOW, GIVE WHAT YOU CAN AND LET YOUR 250 00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:50,589 FELLOW AMERICAN CITIZENS IN PUERTO RICO KNOW THAT YOU LOVE, 251 00:14:50,656 --> 00:15:02,601 YOU CARE ABOUT THEM AND YOU HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN. 252 00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:06,238 FOLKS, IF YOU WATCH THE SHOW YOU KNOW I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME 253 00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:08,340 RIGHT OVER THERE WANDERING THE FRESH NEWS MARKET GATHERING FOR 254 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:12,845 YOU THE MOST TOPICAL CHARCUTERIE AND GUINEA HEN EGGS BLENDING 255 00:15:12,911 --> 00:15:18,917 THEM WITH A VADOUVAN AND SAVORY VEEL STOCK AND CHILLING IT IN A 256 00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:20,919 HAND-HAMMERED COPPER MOWLD TO CREATE FOR YOU THE MICHELIN STAR 257 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:26,558 ASPIC GELEE TERRYNE THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE BUT TIMES I REGAIN 258 00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:30,095 GONE SHUSNESS BEHIND THE PICK N SAVE, BOIL THE GELATIN FROM A 259 00:15:30,162 --> 00:15:34,767 OPOSSUMS BONES AND THROW IN THE LOOSE FLAMIN HOT CHEAT OWES AND 260 00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:38,003 SKITED ELS IN MY BOOT POUR IT ALL INTO A DISCARDED SINKER 261 00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:42,608 UNTIL IT SETS TO PRESENT THE POST APOCALYPTIC JEL OWE SALAD 262 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:48,914 OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT, MEAN WHILE. 263 00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:54,586 ♪ OH MEANWHILE, THAT IS REFRESHING. 264 00:15:54,653 --> 00:15:59,058 MEANWHILE, IN ARKANSAS PLANT-BASED COMPANY BEYOND MEATS 265 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,927 COO WAS ARRESTED FOR BITING A MAN'S NOSE. 266 00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:05,898 WELL, OF COURSE HE DID. 267 00:16:05,964 --> 00:16:10,502 THIS MAN'S ON A STEADY DIET OF BEAN-BASED SAUSAGE AND BEEF 268 00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:13,339 CRUMBLES MADE FROM PEA PROTEIN, THAT WOULD MAKE ANYONE SNAP. 269 00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:16,909 GIVE THE GUY A SLIM JIM BEFORE HE KILLS AGAIN. 270 00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:22,614 THIS NOSE CHOMPING INCIDENTS EXPLAINS BEYOND MEAT'S NEW 271 00:16:22,681 --> 00:16:31,924 PRODUCT, MEAT! 272 00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:35,394 APPARENTLY IT WAS A ROAD RAGE CONFRONTATION IN A PARKING 273 00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:39,098 GARAGE AND WHEN POLICE ARRIVED THEY FOUND TWO MALES WITH BLOODY 274 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:42,935 FACES AT THE SCENE TO WHICH RAMSEY SAID ACTUALLY IT'S BEAT 275 00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:47,005 JUICE, IT TRICKS YOUR BRAIN INTO THINKING YOU ARE EATING REAL 276 00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:53,779 MEANWHILE, THE PRECURSOR TO THE SMILEY FACE EMOJI, THE EMOTICON 277 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:54,980 IS 40. 278 00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:57,750 THE FIRST EMOTICON WAS POSTED TO A CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY 279 00:16:57,816 --> 00:17:01,520 MESSAGE BOARD ON SEPTEMBER 19th, 1982. 280 00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:04,990 THE HE MOT COP REALIZED IT WAS 40 WHEN IT FELL A CLEEP ON THE 281 00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:10,162 COUCH WHILE WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY AND IT WAS FINE WITH 282 00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:10,829 THAT. 283 00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:12,030 MEANWHILE-- THAT SOUNDS GOOD. 284 00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:18,637 I WOULD LOVE TO DO THAT. 285 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:22,641 MEANWHILE, ETHEREUM PLUNGED AFTER THE SEC CHAIR SAID THE 286 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,577 MERGE COULD MAKE CRYPTO A SECURITY. 287 00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:30,649 FORECASTERS FURTHER PREDICT THAT I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND ANY OF 288 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:34,653 THOSE WORDS. 289 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:42,661 (APPLAUSE) MEANWHILE, STARTING IN 2027 290 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,931 CALIFORNIANS WILL BE ABLE TO CHOOSE HUMAN EXOSING AS AN 291 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:49,101 ALTERNATIVE BURIAL OPTION. 292 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:49,635 GREAT. 293 00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:51,336 OH SURE, YOU CLAP NOW. 294 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:56,341 BUT IT IS ONE MORE RECYCLABLE TO KEEP TRACK OF. 295 00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:57,543 HONE! 296 00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:59,077 HONEY, I KNOW EGG SHELLS AND COFFEE GROUNDS ARE OKAY BUT WHAT 297 00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:00,612 ABOUT UNCLE RICK? 298 00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:08,120 IS HE COME POST OR DISPOSAL-- . 299 00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:12,191 MEANWHILE, IN THE COUNTRY OF GEORGIA, ARCHAEOLOGISTS FOUND A 300 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:14,326 1.8 MILLION YEAR OLD HUMAN TOOTH. 301 00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:18,063 ARCHAEOLOGISTS PLAN TO PUT THAT TOOTH UNDER A PILLOW IN HOPES OF 302 00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:27,306 ATTRACTING THE 1.8 MILLION YEAR OLD TOOTH FAIRY. 303 00:18:27,372 --> 00:18:31,910 MEANWHILE, FOLLOWING THE POPULARITY OF SOME DUMBASS 304 00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:34,646 PARTICULAR TOK CHALLENGE THE FDA IS TELLING PEOPLE DON'T COOK 305 00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:37,382 CHICK THEN NYQUIL. 306 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:41,353 THAT WARNING OF COURSE ISSUED BY THE FDA'S DEPARTMENT OF I GUESS 307 00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:44,490 WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO SAY THIS NOW. 308 00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:48,861 THE FDA FURTHER WARNS THAT BOILING A MEDICATION CAN MAKE IT 309 00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:51,864 MUCH MORE CONCENTRATED AND INHALING THE MEDICATIONS VAPORS 310 00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:55,801 WHILE COOKING COULD CAUSE HIGH LEVELS OF THE DRUGS TO ENTER 311 00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,202 YOUR BODY. 312 00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:58,637 REALLY, FDA. 313 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:06,845 IS THIS A WARNING OR INSTRUCTIONS? 314 00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:13,852 BECAUSE-- THE STATEMENT CONTINUED MARIAN-- MARIJUANA CAN 315 00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:16,722 BE DANGEROUS IN HIGH CONCENTRATIONS LIKE SAY IF YOU 316 00:19:16,788 --> 00:19:19,691 PACK SOME DANK NEWINGS IN A GRAVITY BONG AND TAKE THE ENTIRE 317 00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:22,661 CHAMBER THEN HOT BOX THAT [BLEEP] FOR A WAY MELLOW SERB, 318 00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:26,632 ALSO MANAGER HELPS FIGHT COTTON MOUTH, CAN I SMELL TIME. 319 00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:27,699 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH BILLY EICHNER! 320 00:19:47,986 --> 00:19:50,289 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK. 321 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:55,894 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OH MY FRIENDS, YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUEST 322 00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:59,131 TONIGHT FROM "DIFFICULT PEOPLE" AND BILLY ON THE STREET. 323 00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:04,636 HE HAS NOW COWRITTEN, EXECUTIVE PRODUCED AND STARS IN "BROS." 324 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:05,971 >> YOU LIKE DUMB GUYS WHANS? 325 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:09,708 >> YOU HEARD ME, I SEE WHAT YOU LIKE. 326 00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:13,946 YOU LIKE THESE BIG BROY, MEAT HEAD IDIOTS S THAT WHAT YOU 327 00:20:14,012 --> 00:20:16,815 LIKE, A AARON, YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH THE BIG BOYS, HUH? 328 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:20,052 LOOK, YOU WANT TO BE IN THE FIGHT, YOU LIKE THAT. 329 00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:23,956 YEAH, I CAN BE TOUGH, I CAN BE TOUGH LIKE YOUR BOYS. 330 00:20:24,022 --> 00:20:27,326 >> THAT'S WHAT YOU LIKE, OH, NOW YOU ARE ON MY BLANKET, BRO. 331 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:32,364 NOW I'M ON YOUR BLANKET, NOW YOU WANT TOSH ON MY BIG BLANKET. 332 00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:33,131 I CAN BE AGGRESSIVE. 333 00:20:33,198 --> 00:20:34,833 THERE YOU ARE. 334 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,135 YEAH, YEAH? 335 00:20:37,202 --> 00:20:39,204 >> HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON. 336 00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:52,818 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW, BILLY EICHNER! 337 00:20:52,884 --> 00:20:54,886 (APPLAUSE) >> HELLO NEW YORK CITY! 338 00:21:07,799 --> 00:21:08,400 HELLO, PLEASE TAKE A SEAT. 339 00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,636 >> Stephen: LOVELY TO SEE YOU. 340 00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:12,437 >> LOVELY TO SEE YOU TOO. 341 00:21:12,504 --> 00:21:14,606 >> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR DRESS APPROPRIATELY. 342 00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:19,077 >> YOU ARE MY FIRST AUTUMN NAL GUEST. 343 00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:20,912 >> IT IS VERY NANCY MYERS, YOU KNOW. 344 00:21:20,979 --> 00:21:24,549 >> Stephen: WE ARE JUST THAT EXCITED TO SEE EACH OTHER. 345 00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:25,317 >> I'M EXCITED. 346 00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:26,418 >> Jon: YOU ARE THE EXECUTIVE-- . 347 00:21:26,485 --> 00:21:29,821 >> Stephen: ARE YOU THE EXECUTIVE WRITER, IN THE FIRST 348 00:21:29,888 --> 00:21:34,826 BIG BUDGET MAJOR MOTION PICTURE STUDIO GAY RO M.C. OM AVAILABLE 349 00:21:34,893 --> 00:21:37,129 ONLY IN THEATERS. 350 00:21:37,195 --> 00:21:40,465 >> THIS IS AN HONEST TO GOD MOVIE ROM COME. 351 00:21:40,532 --> 00:21:41,133 >> YES, THANK YOU. 352 00:21:41,199 --> 00:21:41,667 >> Stephen: FANTASTIC. 353 00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:43,435 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH. 354 00:21:43,502 --> 00:21:45,137 >> Stephen: HELL OF A MILESTONE. 355 00:21:45,203 --> 00:21:49,141 >> I'M SO EXCITED, THE FIRST GAY ROM COME EVER MADE BY THE MAJOR 356 00:21:49,207 --> 00:21:53,578 STUD YORKS THE ENTIRE CAST IS OPENLY LGBTQ ACTORS. 357 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:56,782 >> Stephen: THAT IS NICE, HERE IS WHAT YOU LIKE, WHAT I HAVE 358 00:21:56,848 --> 00:22:01,153 SEEN SO FAR BECAUSE HAVE I NOT SEEN THE ENTIRE FILM, IS THAT 359 00:22:01,219 --> 00:22:05,424 OKAY, ROM COME,-- ROMCOM, BIG BUDGET MAJOR MOTION PICTURE 360 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,592 STUDIO ROMCOM. 361 00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:08,760 >> YES. 362 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:10,429 >> Stephen: THEY OFTEN HAVE THE ROM, SOMETIMES THEY DON'T 363 00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:11,596 BRING THE COM. 364 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:14,700 THIS ONE IS THE ROM AND THE COM. 365 00:22:14,766 --> 00:22:17,135 >> IT DUSKS I MADE THE MOVIE, SO MUCH COM. 366 00:22:17,202 --> 00:22:18,136 SO MUCH COM. 367 00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:20,972 >> Stephen: IT DOESN'T OVERPOWER THE ROM THOUGH. 368 00:22:21,039 --> 00:22:21,573 >> NO, IT DOESN'T. 369 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,309 >> Stephen: ST VERY ROMY. 370 00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:25,444 >> WE ALL LOVE COM, I PREFER IT. 371 00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:27,779 >> Stephen: IT MAKES THE ROM BETTER BECAUSE YOU FEEL MORE 372 00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:29,915 COMFORTABLE WITH THE ROM. 373 00:22:29,981 --> 00:22:34,820 >> THE MORE COM, THE MORE SATISFIED I AM. 374 00:22:34,886 --> 00:22:35,320 YES. 375 00:22:35,387 --> 00:22:39,991 >> Stephen: I AGREE. 376 00:22:40,058 --> 00:22:40,826 SURE. 377 00:22:40,892 --> 00:22:41,326 >> YES. 378 00:22:41,393 --> 00:22:45,130 >> COM ALL OVER ME. 379 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:49,601 BUT I MADE THE MOVIE, OH CALM DOWN, MY GOD. 380 00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:52,704 LET'S ALL BE ADULTS HERE THERE IS A LOT OF COMEDY, I MADE THE 381 00:22:52,771 --> 00:22:56,575 MOVIE WITH JUD APATOW, AND NICK, THEY MADE SOME OF THE FUNNIEST 382 00:22:56,641 --> 00:23:01,079 MOVIES OF ALL TIME, BRIDE MAIDS, 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN, FORGETTING 383 00:23:01,146 --> 00:23:04,816 SARA MAR SLAL BUT NEVER ONE ABOUT A GAY COUPLE. 384 00:23:04,883 --> 00:23:06,084 I AM REALLY PROUD, I THINK ST THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE. 385 00:23:06,151 --> 00:23:09,154 >> Stephen: WAS IT A HARD SELL TO GET A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE 386 00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:11,923 STUDIO TO DO THE FIRST GAY ROMCOM. 387 00:23:11,990 --> 00:23:15,961 >> YES, I MEAN THE SAME STUDIO THAT MAKES JURASSIC WORLD, AND 388 00:23:16,027 --> 00:23:21,600 MINIONS AND FAST AND FURIOUS MADE THIS R RATED GAY ROMCOM BUT 389 00:23:21,666 --> 00:23:24,436 THE TIME THEY BOUGHT IT THEY WERE EXCITESSED, IT DEFINITELY 390 00:23:24,503 --> 00:23:26,671 TOOK HOLLYWOOD OVER A HUNDRED YEARS TO GET HERE BUT BY THE 391 00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:28,740 TIME THEY BOUGHT IT THEY SAID YES, WE WANT. 392 00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:32,410 THIS THE WHOLE FOCUS WAS MAKING IT AS FUNNY AS POSSIBLE AND AS 393 00:23:32,477 --> 00:23:33,578 HONEST AS POSSIBLE. 394 00:23:33,645 --> 00:23:36,681 >> Stephen: SO THE 2022 HAS BEEN A BIT OF A MILESTONE FOR 395 00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:40,852 THIS BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE FIRST MAJOR MOTION PICTURE GAY ROMCOM 396 00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:42,454 AVAILABLE IN THEATERS. 397 00:23:42,521 --> 00:23:43,355 >> ONLY IN THEATERS. 398 00:23:43,421 --> 00:23:45,924 >> Stephen: THERE WAS FYRE ISLAND ON HULU. 399 00:23:45,991 --> 00:23:47,826 DO YOU SEE THIS GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION? 400 00:23:47,893 --> 00:23:49,127 >> I HOPE. 401 00:23:49,194 --> 00:23:50,996 SO I LOVE ROMANTIC COMEDIES, YOU KNOW. 402 00:23:51,062 --> 00:23:52,197 >> Stephen: EVEN AS A KID. 403 00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:55,801 >> EVEN AS A KID I REMEMBER GOING TO SEE MOON STRUCK WITH MY 404 00:23:55,867 --> 00:23:58,703 PARENTS AND WHEN HARRY MET SALLY. 405 00:23:58,770 --> 00:24:00,272 AND WORKING GIRL, AND PRETTY WOMAN, YOU KNOW. 406 00:24:00,338 --> 00:24:05,143 I LOVE BROKE BACK MOUNTAIN T IS A MASTERPIECE, I HAVE SEEN IT 407 00:24:05,210 --> 00:24:07,979 ONCE, YOU'VE GOT MAIL, HAVE I SEEN 50 TIMES. 408 00:24:08,046 --> 00:24:09,147 SO THOSE ARE THE MOVIES THAT I LOVE. 409 00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:11,883 AND THEY MADE ME WANT TO BE IN MOVIES. 410 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,586 I NEVER SAW A LOT OF GAY FOLKS IN THOSE MOVIES BUT I THINK 411 00:24:14,653 --> 00:24:17,656 PEOPLE HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW MUCH MONEY IT IS TO GO TO A MOVIE AND 412 00:24:17,722 --> 00:24:20,792 LAUGH WITH HUNDREDS OF OTHER PEOPLE AND ESCAPE THE WORLD AND 413 00:24:20,859 --> 00:24:22,460 JUST FEEL GOOD ABOUT LIFE. 414 00:24:22,527 --> 00:24:32,337 SO I AM VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT. 415 00:24:32,404 --> 00:24:35,507 >> Stephen: YOU TALKED ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE BROKE BACK 416 00:24:35,574 --> 00:24:39,444 MOUNTAIN WHICH PEOPLE TAKE SERIOUSLY, AN IMPORTANT FILM, A 417 00:24:39,511 --> 00:24:41,146 FINE FILM, AN IMPORTANT FILM. 418 00:24:41,213 --> 00:24:46,852 BUT DOES IT BOTHER YOU AT ALL THAT PEOPLE DON'T TAKE, THAT 419 00:24:46,918 --> 00:24:49,621 PEOPLE DON'T TAKE COMEDY SERIOUSLY? 420 00:24:49,688 --> 00:24:50,856 >> COMEDY IS SO HARD. 421 00:24:50,922 --> 00:24:52,858 AND I LOVED BROKE BACK MOUNTAIN AND IT MOVED ME BUT CAN I TELL 422 00:24:52,924 --> 00:24:57,429 YOU THAT WRITING "BROS" WAS THE MOST CHALLENGING THING I EVER 423 00:24:57,495 --> 00:24:58,230 DID. 424 00:24:58,296 --> 00:24:59,064 >> Stephen: WHAT WAS HARD ABOUT IT. 425 00:24:59,130 --> 00:25:00,799 >> WRITING JOKES IS A HARD THING TO DO. 426 00:25:00,866 --> 00:25:03,201 >> Stephen: I'M FAMILIAR. 427 00:25:03,268 --> 00:25:04,336 >> YES, EXACTLY. 428 00:25:04,402 --> 00:25:06,872 AND IT'S WEIRD THAT WE DON'T RESPECT COMEDIES IN THE SAME 429 00:25:06,938 --> 00:25:08,106 WAY. 430 00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:09,140 >> Stephen: BUT IS IT KIND OF IMPORTANT NOT TO GET RESPECT AS 431 00:25:09,207 --> 00:25:10,275 A COMEDIAN. 432 00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:13,712 IT IS KIND OF IMPORTANT, MAD MAGAZINE WAS PRINTED ON PULP 433 00:25:13,778 --> 00:25:15,213 PAPER FOR A REASON. 434 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,149 >> I'M SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT UP MAD MAGAZINE, STEPHEN. 435 00:25:18,216 --> 00:25:19,818 BUT NO, I DON'T KNOW. 436 00:25:19,885 --> 00:25:22,053 I MEAN FOR ME I LOVEMAKING PEOPLE LAUGH. 437 00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:24,489 I WOULD RATHER MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH. 438 00:25:24,556 --> 00:25:27,459 ALL THE MOVIES WE GET, IN MOVIE THEATERS WE GET ARE VERY GRITTY, 439 00:25:27,525 --> 00:25:31,263 VERY DARK, WE LIVE IN A VERY CYNICAL WORLD SO I WANT TO BRING 440 00:25:31,329 --> 00:25:34,833 PEOPLE TO THE MOVIE THEATER AND MAKE THEM FEEL GOOD ABOUT LIFE, 441 00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:36,134 YOU KNOW, LAUGH WITH EACH OTHER. 442 00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:36,534 WE NEED THAT NOW. 443 00:25:36,601 --> 00:25:37,636 WE REALLY DO. 444 00:25:37,702 --> 00:25:39,638 >> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT FEELING GOOD FOR A SECOND. 445 00:25:39,704 --> 00:25:41,773 I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU. 446 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:42,974 >> OKAY. 447 00:25:43,041 --> 00:25:44,576 >> Stephen: I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU ABOUT THE PREMISE 448 00:25:44,643 --> 00:25:46,745 OF THAT VERY FUNNY SCENE WE JUST SAW. 449 00:25:46,811 --> 00:25:49,547 IS THAT YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH THE BIG BOYS OR WHATEVER. 450 00:25:49,614 --> 00:25:52,851 YOU ARE A BIG BOY, YOU ARE FIT, YOU ARE HANDSOME. 451 00:25:52,918 --> 00:25:58,223 YOU'VE GOT A CERTAIN RUGGED MACHISMO. 452 00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:00,425 >> WELL, THANK YOU, STEPHEN. 453 00:26:00,492 --> 00:26:02,460 WE CAN STAR IN THE NEXT GAY ROMCOM TOGETHER. 454 00:26:02,527 --> 00:26:07,365 I WOULD LIKE THAT. 455 00:26:07,432 --> 00:26:10,769 BUT I THINK MY CHARGE IN THE MOVIE IS OBSESSED WITH A CERTAIN 456 00:26:10,835 --> 00:26:14,205 TYPE OF CONVENTIONAL MASCULINITY THAT HE DOESN'T REPRESENT. 457 00:26:14,272 --> 00:26:15,774 YOU KNOW, HE WAS NEVER THE JOCK. 458 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,142 HE WAS NEVER THE BRO. 459 00:26:17,208 --> 00:26:22,047 AND HE IS FALLING FOR A GUY WHO IS INFATUATED WITH THAT SORT OF 460 00:26:22,113 --> 00:26:24,916 BROY BEHAVIOR AND I DON'T THINK THAT IS EXCLUSIVE TO GAY MEN, I 461 00:26:24,983 --> 00:26:28,186 THINK EVERYONE KIND OF PUTS THE TRADITIONAL MASCULINITY ON A 462 00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:28,687 PEDESTAL. 463 00:26:28,753 --> 00:26:29,654 >> Stephen: DO YOU? 464 00:26:29,721 --> 00:26:31,756 HAVE YOU-- IS THAT A FACTOR FOR YOU. 465 00:26:31,823 --> 00:26:34,426 >> I THINK I HAVE STRUGGLED WITH THAT, NOT SO MUCH ANY MORE BUT 466 00:26:34,492 --> 00:26:38,897 WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, GAY MEN IN PARTICULAR, I NEVER HAD AN ISSUE 467 00:26:38,964 --> 00:26:40,999 BEING GAY BUT WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, ESPECIALLY, I WANTED TO 468 00:26:41,066 --> 00:26:42,434 BE A MAN. 469 00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:45,136 YOU KNOW, YOU WANTED TO BE MASCULINE AND WE WERE VERY DRAWN 470 00:26:45,203 --> 00:26:47,138 TO THAT SORT OF BEHAVIOR. 471 00:26:47,205 --> 00:26:51,376 >> Stephen: WHAT WAS THE IMAGE IN YOUR MIND WHAT WAS THE ICON 472 00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:52,544 OF THAT. 473 00:26:52,610 --> 00:26:57,148 >> YOU KNOW, I GREW UP WITH MARKY MARK IN CALVIN KLEIN ADS 474 00:26:57,215 --> 00:27:02,487 AND ABBANDONATO ABERCROMBIE & FITCH AND YOU GO THERE IS A MAN 475 00:27:02,554 --> 00:27:07,859 WITH A SIX PACK GREETING YOU AT THE DOR AND YOU GO I'M HERE TO 476 00:27:07,926 --> 00:27:08,860 BUY JEANS. 477 00:27:08,927 --> 00:27:10,261 >> Stephen: I FOUND THAT DISSPIRITTING WHEN I WAS 478 00:27:10,328 --> 00:27:12,664 YOUNGER, I AM NEVER GOING TO LOOK LIKE THAT. 479 00:27:12,731 --> 00:27:16,368 >> WE HAD ALL OF THOSE IMAGES IN OUR HEAD AND IT IS TOUGH TO 480 00:27:16,434 --> 00:27:19,437 RETIRE-- REWIRE YOURSELF, WE ARE TILL OBSESSED WITH IT A BIT AS 481 00:27:19,504 --> 00:27:20,672 A CULTURE. 482 00:27:20,739 --> 00:27:24,109 WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT WHEN WE COME BACK I WILL ASK 483 00:27:24,175 --> 00:27:25,910 BILLY WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO SHOOT THIS FILM IN HIS HOMETOWN OF NEW 484 00:27:25,977 --> 00:27:26,978 YORK CITY. 485 00:27:35,987 --> 00:27:37,956 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE HERE WITH BILLY EICHNER, 486 00:27:38,023 --> 00:27:41,559 STAR OF BROS. 487 00:27:41,626 --> 00:27:45,930 WHILE I WANT TO TALK ABOUT A SEXY SEXY MAN THAT YOU SPENT 488 00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:47,499 TIME OUT ON THE STREET W THE FIRST BILLY ON THE STREET IN 489 00:27:47,565 --> 00:27:51,569 THREE YEARS AND OUT THERE TO SUPPORT BROS WHICH IS THE FIRST 490 00:27:51,636 --> 00:27:56,941 BIG BUDGET MAJOR MOTION PICTURE STUDIO FILM AVAILABLE IN 491 00:27:57,008 --> 00:28:03,014 THEATERS A GAY ROMCOM, YOUR GOOD FRIEND PAUL RUDD. 492 00:28:03,081 --> 00:28:04,149 >> YEAH. 493 00:28:04,215 --> 00:28:06,117 >> Stephen: THE REIGNING, I WANT TO POINT OUT, I WANT TO 494 00:28:06,184 --> 00:28:07,919 REMIND EVERYBODY, REMIND EVERYBODY OUT THERE THAT HE IS 495 00:28:07,986 --> 00:28:10,021 THE REIGNING PEOPLE'S SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. 496 00:28:10,088 --> 00:28:11,656 >> HE IS A VERY SEXY MAN. 497 00:28:11,723 --> 00:28:15,126 WE JUST PUT OUT TODAY THE FIRST BILLY ON THE STREET VIDEO IN 498 00:28:15,193 --> 00:28:16,294 THREE YEARS. 499 00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:18,563 >> Stephen: WAS IT GOOD TO BE ON THE STREET AND DOING THAT 500 00:28:18,630 --> 00:28:18,897 AGAIN. 501 00:28:18,963 --> 00:28:20,065 >> IT WAS. 502 00:28:20,131 --> 00:28:22,167 I LOVE NEW YORK, I LOVE BEING OUT THERE PAUL IS ONE OF THE 503 00:28:22,233 --> 00:28:23,835 BEST GUESTS WE'VE EVER HAD. 504 00:28:23,902 --> 00:28:26,071 IT IS EVERYWHERE ONLINE IF YOU WANT TO CHECK IT OUT. 505 00:28:26,137 --> 00:28:27,305 IS HE FEARLESS. 506 00:28:27,372 --> 00:28:30,608 A LOT OF THE OTHER FACTORS, DID YOU IT AND YOU WERE WONDERFUL. 507 00:28:30,675 --> 00:28:31,976 >> Stephen: FEARFUL. 508 00:28:32,043 --> 00:28:37,449 >> YOU WERE NOT FEARFUL BUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE ACTORS SCARED 509 00:28:37,515 --> 00:28:40,752 TO TALK TO PEOPLE ON THE STREET BUT PAUL JUST GOES FOR T HE IS 510 00:28:40,819 --> 00:28:41,853 AMAZING. 511 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,255 >> Stephen: SOME PEOPLE DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO BE THE SEX 512 00:28:44,322 --> 00:28:48,326 YE-- SEXIEST MAN ALIVE, THAT THEY WANTED SOMEBODY MORE IN 513 00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:52,263 THAT STEREO TYPICAL TAB HUNTER MAN ON A PEDESTAL. 514 00:28:52,330 --> 00:28:53,665 >> TAB HUNTER, YOU ARE GOING WAY BACK. 515 00:28:53,731 --> 00:28:55,967 >> Stephen: I'M OLDER THAN YOU ARE. 516 00:28:56,034 --> 00:28:58,169 >> I MEAN TAB HUNTER WAS A VERY SEXY MAN. 517 00:28:58,236 --> 00:29:00,171 >> Stephen: HOW ABOUT MCCONAUGHEY. 518 00:29:00,238 --> 00:29:01,239 >> IS HE A VERY-- PAUL RUDD IS SO SEXY. 519 00:29:01,306 --> 00:29:05,110 >> Stephen: I AGREE, HE ACHIEVED HIS SEXINESS ON THE 520 00:29:05,176 --> 00:29:07,912 SHOW, WHERE IT WAS ANNOUNCED. 521 00:29:07,979 --> 00:29:09,781 QUICK QUESTION, I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS. 522 00:29:09,848 --> 00:29:14,052 HAS THERE BEEN A GAY SEXIEST MAN ALIVE? 523 00:29:14,119 --> 00:29:15,053 >> YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SURE. 524 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,689 I DON'T THINK THERE HAS BEEN. 525 00:29:17,755 --> 00:29:20,258 I'M SURE THERE HAVE BEEN A FEW WHO HAVE BEEN IN THE CLOSET BUT 526 00:29:20,325 --> 00:29:23,528 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT OPENLY GAY, I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW. 527 00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:25,797 >> Stephen: MAYBE NEXT YEAR. 528 00:29:25,864 --> 00:29:29,968 >> MAYBE THE PINK TELETUBY, HE WAS GAY. 529 00:29:30,034 --> 00:29:31,970 >> Stephen: MAYBE BILLY EICHNER. 530 00:29:32,036 --> 00:29:33,771 >> I DON'T THINK THAT WILL HAPPEN. 531 00:29:33,838 --> 00:29:36,274 >> Stephen: WHY NOT. 532 00:29:36,341 --> 00:29:40,278 >> WHY NOT, YOU ARE THE STAR OF THE FIRST BIG BUDGET ROMCOM. 533 00:29:40,345 --> 00:29:42,680 >> Stephen: WITH. 534 00:29:42,747 --> 00:29:44,182 >> MOTION PICTURE IN THEATERS ONLY. 535 00:29:44,249 --> 00:29:46,918 >> Stephen: SO YOU SHOPPED THE FILM HERE IN NEW YORK CITY WHICH 536 00:29:46,985 --> 00:29:51,322 IS YOUR HOMETOWN, HOW IMPORTANT IS THAT TO YOU TO COME BACK HERE 537 00:29:51,389 --> 00:29:53,591 AND DO THIS MILE STOAP BACK IN YOUR OWN. 538 00:29:53,658 --> 00:29:55,727 >> IT WAS BEAUTIFUL T REALLY WAS. 539 00:29:55,793 --> 00:29:59,731 I'M LIKE A VERY NEUROTIC, GAY JEWISH NATIVE NEW YORKER. 540 00:29:59,797 --> 00:30:01,966 I DON'T TAKE A LOT OF TIME TO APPRECIATE THINGS SOMETIMES AS 541 00:30:02,033 --> 00:30:05,970 THEY ARE HAPPENING BUT THERE WAS A MOMENT WHEN WE WERE SHOOTING A 542 00:30:06,037 --> 00:30:09,140 SCENE ON THE UPPER WEST SIDE RIGHT OUTSIDE OF CENTRAL PARK 543 00:30:09,207 --> 00:30:12,277 AND IT REMINDED ME MUCH THOSE ROMCOMS I LOVE THAT TOOK PLACE 544 00:30:12,343 --> 00:30:13,645 IN NEW YORK. 545 00:30:13,711 --> 00:30:18,917 ALL THOSE NORAH EFRAN WHERE HARRY MET SALLY, WALKING IN 546 00:30:18,983 --> 00:30:22,687 CENTRAL PARK, MOON STRUCK, ALL NEW YORK BASED MOVIES AND I SAT 547 00:30:22,754 --> 00:30:25,990 THERE AND THOUGHT WE ARE GOING THROUGH ALL OF THESE MOTIONS BUT 548 00:30:26,057 --> 00:30:30,228 I'M DOS IT ON MY OWN TERMS AS A GAY MAN WITH ANOTHER GAY MAN. 549 00:30:30,295 --> 00:30:33,331 AND WE HAVE REALLY NEVER SEEN THAT ON THE BIG SCREEN IN THIS 550 00:30:33,398 --> 00:30:39,404 WAY AND I WAS SO GRATEFUL AND I GET VERY EMOTIONAL TALKING ABOUT 551 00:30:39,470 --> 00:30:39,904 IT. 552 00:30:39,971 --> 00:30:41,105 BUT IT WAS MAGICAL. 553 00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:42,640 >> Stephen: WELL, YOU HAVE TO RUN OFF NOW, I KNOW, WE'VE GOT 554 00:30:42,707 --> 00:30:43,975 TO LET YOU GO. 555 00:30:44,042 --> 00:30:49,347 YOU HAVE GOT TO GET TO-- YOU HAVE TO DASH OUT OF HERE BECAUSE 556 00:30:49,414 --> 00:30:50,548 ARE YOU GOING TO THE PREMIER. 557 00:30:50,615 --> 00:30:53,985 >> WE HAVE THE NEW YORK PREMIER TONIGHT, NOT TO BE EVEN MORE 558 00:30:54,052 --> 00:30:55,954 SENTIMENTAL BUT THE PREMIER OF BROS TONIGHT IN NEW YORK IS AT 559 00:30:56,020 --> 00:31:00,925 THE THEATER WHERE I SAW YOU'VE GOT MAIL OVER 20 YEARS AGO. 560 00:31:00,992 --> 00:31:02,260 AND THAT'S PRETTY AMAZING. 561 00:31:02,327 --> 00:31:04,429 >> Stephen: SO IF YOU PERFECTED YOUR HUMBLE ACCEPTING 562 00:31:04,495 --> 00:31:08,833 OF COMPLIMENTS FACE EMOTION. 563 00:31:08,900 --> 00:31:10,134 >> I'M VERY BAD AT THAT. 564 00:31:10,201 --> 00:31:13,972 >> Stephen: BILLY, OH MY GOD, I LOVED YOUR MOVIE SO MUCH T 565 00:31:14,038 --> 00:31:18,576 IES SO ROMY AND SO COMY AT THE SAME TIME. 566 00:31:18,643 --> 00:31:19,711 >> YES. 567 00:31:19,777 --> 00:31:20,845 >> Stephen: AN I SO UNDERSTAND WHY ARE YOU THE EXECUTIVE 568 00:31:20,912 --> 00:31:24,282 PRODUCER, COWRITER AND STAR OF THE FIRST BIG BUDGET MAJOR 569 00:31:24,349 --> 00:31:29,621 MOTION STUDIO GAY ROMCOM, CONGRATULATIONS ST A BEAUTIFUL 570 00:31:29,687 --> 00:31:30,154 FILM. 571 00:31:30,221 --> 00:31:31,789 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH. 572 00:31:31,856 --> 00:31:33,391 I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU LIKE MY COM. 573 00:31:33,458 --> 00:31:37,662 >> Stephen: BROS IS IN THEATERS NEXT FRIDAY. 574 00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:39,430 THAT IS BILLY EICHNER, EVERYBODY. 575 00:31:39,497 --> 00:31:40,665 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 576 00:31:40,732 --> 00:31:43,968 THANK YOU, BILLY, BACK WITH THE HEAD OF THE U.S.A. ID SAMANTHA 577 00:31:44,035 --> 00:31:45,036 POWERS. 578 00:31:58,049 --> 00:32:00,885 SRS HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK. 579 00:32:00,952 --> 00:32:03,187 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST IS THE PULITZER PRIZE 580 00:32:03,254 --> 00:32:06,791 WINNING AUTHOR WHO SPENT FOUR YEARS AS U.N. AMBASSADOR AND IS 581 00:32:06,858 --> 00:32:09,427 CURRENTLY THE ADMINISTRATOR OF U.S.A. ID. 582 00:32:09,494 --> 00:32:11,496 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW SAMANTHA POWER. 583 00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:28,913 HEY. 584 00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:31,616 NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 585 00:32:31,683 --> 00:32:32,784 >> NICE DIGS. 586 00:32:32,850 --> 00:32:37,055 >> Stephen: YEAH, ST NICE DIGSK SUSPECT TMENT LAST SUMMER 587 00:32:37,121 --> 00:32:40,491 OVER ZOOM YOU AND I DISCUSSED PRESIDENT BIDEN'S PLEDGE TO SEND 588 00:32:40,558 --> 00:32:43,561 COVID VACCINES AROUND THE WORLD AND U.S.A. ID OF COURSE IS PART 589 00:32:43,628 --> 00:32:45,229 OF THE ADMINISTRATION AND DISTRIBUTION OF THAT. 590 00:32:45,296 --> 00:32:48,232 WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF PRESIDENT BIDEN SAYING THAT THE PAFNED IS 591 00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:49,434 OVER? 592 00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:52,103 DO YOU THINK-- THAT THE PANDEMIC IS OVER, DO YOU THINK HE GOT 593 00:32:52,170 --> 00:32:56,774 THAT RIGHT BECAUSE THERE HAS BEEN SOME BACK PEDALING AT 1600 594 00:32:56,841 --> 00:32:58,810 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, GO AHEAD, THROW YOUR BOSS UNDER THE BUS 595 00:32:58,876 --> 00:33:00,812 LIGHT NOW. 596 00:33:00,878 --> 00:33:05,149 >> LET'S THINK BACK TO WHEN PRESIDENT BIDEN ENTERED OFFICE. 597 00:33:05,216 --> 00:33:08,920 DEATHS SINCE THEN ARE DOWN 90%. 598 00:33:08,986 --> 00:33:13,725 THE PANDEMIC WE ALL KNOW, LOOK, WE'RE HERE. 599 00:33:13,791 --> 00:33:16,494 SCHOOLS ARE OPEN. 600 00:33:16,561 --> 00:33:19,831 I'M NOT THE PATHETIC HOME SCHOOLER THAT I ONCE WAS DURING 601 00:33:19,897 --> 00:33:21,065 THE PAFNED. 602 00:33:21,132 --> 00:33:22,934 >> Stephen: WILL YOUR CHILDREN EVER RECOVER FROM TEACHING THEM 603 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:23,935 MATH. 604 00:33:24,001 --> 00:33:26,804 >> NO, NEVER, THE SETBACK IS PERMANENT. 605 00:33:26,871 --> 00:33:30,441 BUT I THINK WHAT HE WAS SAYING WAS THAT COVID NEEDLESS TO SAY 606 00:33:30,508 --> 00:33:33,878 IS NOT THE DISRUPTIVE THREAT THAT IT WAS. 607 00:33:33,945 --> 00:33:36,981 AND IT, BECAUSE WE HAVE THE TOOLS AVAILABLE, EVERYBODY 608 00:33:37,048 --> 00:33:40,485 SHOULD GO AND GET THEIR VARIANT BOOSTER AND THEIR FLU SHOT AT 609 00:33:40,551 --> 00:33:41,719 THE SAME TIME. 610 00:33:41,786 --> 00:33:46,124 WE ARE IN A POSITION TO MANAGE THIS, OUR ECONOMY HAS REOPENED. 611 00:33:46,190 --> 00:33:50,361 WE ARE TRYING TO BE SURE THE SAME STHING HAPPENS IN EVEN THE 612 00:33:50,428 --> 00:33:51,362 POOREST COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD. 613 00:33:51,429 --> 00:33:54,232 AND WE HAVE MADE GREAT HEADWAY. 614 00:33:54,298 --> 00:33:58,503 >> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT THE CHALLENGE WE FACE IN THE 615 00:33:58,569 --> 00:34:00,371 WORLD RIGHT NOW. 616 00:34:00,438 --> 00:34:03,441 WE'LL TALK ABOUT ONE OF THE CHALLENGES, MY UNDERSTANDING IS 617 00:34:03,508 --> 00:34:08,746 THAT ONE THE GREATEST CHALLENGES THAT U.S.A. ID IS HOPING TO HELP 618 00:34:08,813 --> 00:34:13,484 MITIGATE IS THAT, IS THE FOOD SHORTAGE AROUND THE WORLD AND 619 00:34:13,551 --> 00:34:17,622 THAT CROP YIELDS ARE DOWN PARTIALLY BECAUSE OF GLOBAL 620 00:34:17,688 --> 00:34:20,358 WARMING BUT ALSO THE WAR IN UKRAINE WHICH PROVIDES 25% OF 621 00:34:20,425 --> 00:34:22,493 THE WORLD'S WHEAT. 622 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,430 IS THIS PUTIN'S FAULT, THIS FOOD SHORTAGE? 623 00:34:25,496 --> 00:34:27,298 BECAUSE HE'S BLAMING THE WEST. 624 00:34:27,365 --> 00:34:28,499 HE'S BLAMING US. 625 00:34:28,566 --> 00:34:29,600 >> YEAH. 626 00:34:29,667 --> 00:34:33,538 >> Stephen: AND HOW HARD IS-- IS THE U.N. A PLACE WHERE 627 00:34:33,604 --> 00:34:36,374 YOU CAN FIGHT THAT MISINFORMATION? 628 00:34:36,441 --> 00:34:39,510 >> I TRAVELED THIS SUMMER TO TWO OF THE WORST EFFECTED COUNTRIES 629 00:34:39,577 --> 00:34:44,916 IN THE FOOD CRIES I KENYA AND SOMALIA, WHERE BASICALLY WE'RE 630 00:34:44,982 --> 00:34:48,753 ON THE BRINK OF FAMINEE IN PARTS OF BOTH OF THOSE COUNTRIES. 631 00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:52,623 AND I BROUGHT SUPPORT FOR FERTILIZER ON BEHALF OF THE 632 00:34:52,690 --> 00:34:56,294 AMERICAN PEOPLE, I BROUGHT ADDITIONAL SUPPORT FOR SOME OF 633 00:34:56,360 --> 00:35:01,232 THE SEEDS SO FARMERS CAN PLANT IN THE CEASESONS AHEAD AND 634 00:35:01,299 --> 00:35:05,203 BROUGHT EMERGENCY ASSISTANT, MR. LAVROV CAME A FEW DAYS AFTER 635 00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:08,706 I DID FROM THE SAME COUNTRIES AND HE BROUGHT MISINFORMATION 636 00:35:08,773 --> 00:35:11,042 AND LIES WHICH DON'T FEED ANYBODY. 637 00:35:11,108 --> 00:35:13,177 AND SO THE ONE THING I WOULD SAY IS THERE IS A LOT OF NOISE OUT 638 00:35:13,244 --> 00:35:17,315 THERE AND THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION S YOU KNOW, TRYING TO TURN THAT 639 00:35:17,381 --> 00:35:20,318 NOISE UP ON VERY HIGH DES INEL. 640 00:35:20,384 --> 00:35:23,688 MY EXPERIENCE IN TRAVELING TO THESE COUNTRIES THAT ARE VERY 641 00:35:23,754 --> 00:35:25,456 VULNERABLE RIGHT NOW IS THEY KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. 642 00:35:25,523 --> 00:35:30,027 THEY KNOW THAT PRESIDENT PUTIN FOR A VERY LONG TIME BLOCKED THE 643 00:35:30,094 --> 00:35:33,865 UKRAINE THAT WAS IN UKRAINIAN PORTS READY TO REACH COUNTRIES 644 00:35:33,931 --> 00:35:40,004 LIKE SOMALIA, KENYA, PLACES LIKE LEB TON-- LEBANON, SYRIA, JUST 645 00:35:40,071 --> 00:35:42,807 BLOCKED T FINALLY THERE WAS A BREAKTHROUGH AND SOME OF THOSE 646 00:35:42,874 --> 00:35:47,078 GRAINS ARE MOVING BUT PRICES ALREADY SPIKED BECAUSE OF THE 647 00:35:47,144 --> 00:35:49,247 FOOD SHORTAGE THAT THAT CONTRIBUTED TO. 648 00:35:49,313 --> 00:35:52,016 I WILL SAY THE UNDERLYING CONDITIONS ARE CHRONIC 649 00:35:52,083 --> 00:35:52,850 CONDITIONS. 650 00:35:52,917 --> 00:35:54,785 CLIMATED CLANG IS A CHRONIC CONDITION. 651 00:35:54,852 --> 00:35:57,755 THE HORN OF AFRICA IS EXPERIENCING ITS FOURTH STRAIGHT 652 00:35:57,822 --> 00:35:58,789 FAILED RAINY SEASON. 653 00:35:58,856 --> 00:36:01,425 THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE IN RECORDED HISTORY. 654 00:36:01,492 --> 00:36:05,530 I WAS JUST IN PAKISTAN A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. 655 00:36:05,596 --> 00:36:08,633 STEPHN, I FELT LIKE I WAS IN THE APOCALYPSE. 656 00:36:08,699 --> 00:36:13,304 I WAS FLYING INLAND ABOUT 200 MILES FROM THE NEAREST OCEAN AND 657 00:36:13,371 --> 00:36:14,705 I WAS LOOKING DOWN. 658 00:36:14,772 --> 00:36:16,507 I WAS LIKE WAIT, THAT IS OCEAN. 659 00:36:16,574 --> 00:36:21,412 AND THEN NO, ACTUALLY A THIRD OF THE COUNTRY IS UNDERWATER 660 00:36:21,479 --> 00:36:23,781 BECAUSE OF MELTING GLACIERS COMBINED WITH MONDAY SOON RAINS 661 00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:28,252 THAT ARE FIVE TIMES AS INTENSE AS THEY EVER HAVE BEFORE. 662 00:36:28,319 --> 00:36:31,589 AND WHAT YOU SEE, YOU CAN SEE LIKE LITTLE SORT OF ROOFTOPS 663 00:36:31,656 --> 00:36:36,127 SOMETIMES POKING OUT OR 12 METER HIGH TREES THAT WERE YOU SEE 664 00:36:36,193 --> 00:36:38,829 JUST THE RIM OF THE TREE, THAT IS HOW MUCH WATER THERE IS ON 665 00:36:38,896 --> 00:36:40,031 THE GROUND. 666 00:36:40,097 --> 00:36:42,800 BUT YOU ALSO SEE THE CROP LAND THAT HAVE JUST BEEN RAVAGERRED 667 00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:44,035 BY THESE FLOODS. 668 00:36:44,101 --> 00:36:47,772 SO WE EITHER HAVE TOO MUCH WATER OR TOO LITTLE WATER EVERYWHERE 669 00:36:47,838 --> 00:36:48,973 YOU LOOK. 670 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,810 AND PART OF WHAT WE WANT TO DO AS U.S.A. ID ON BEHALF OF THE 671 00:36:52,877 --> 00:36:56,314 AMERICAN PEOPLE, AND THERE IS BIPARTISAN SUPPORT WHICH IS 672 00:36:56,380 --> 00:36:57,582 WONDERFUL. 673 00:36:57,648 --> 00:37:00,885 IS NOT ONLY FEED PEOPLE WHO JUST LOST THEIR CROP LAND BECAUSE OF 674 00:37:00,952 --> 00:37:04,488 FLOODING OR BECAUSE OF DROUGHT, BUT ACTUALLY GIVE THEM THE 675 00:37:04,555 --> 00:37:06,791 RESILIENCE TO NOT BE IN A POSITION WHERE THEY ARE 676 00:37:06,857 --> 00:37:08,259 HEADACHING HUMANITARIAN ACTIONS. 677 00:37:08,326 --> 00:37:10,761 NOBODY WANTS EMERGENCY HUMANITARIAN ASSISTANCE. 678 00:37:10,828 --> 00:37:13,531 THEY WANT TO BE ABLE TO PLANT THEIR SEEDS, TAKE THEIR HAR 679 00:37:13,598 --> 00:37:17,568 VESES AND DEAL, AND RELOCATE IN SOME CASES, SO AS TO BE IN 680 00:37:17,635 --> 00:37:21,339 PLACES THAT ARE MORE HOSPITALITY GIVEN THE CHANGING CLIMATE. 681 00:37:21,405 --> 00:37:24,542 >> Stephen: WHAT IS THIS JOB LIKE? 682 00:37:24,609 --> 00:37:27,478 ALL THESE DIFFERENT PLACES YOU ARE NAMING, DO YOU KNOW WHERE 683 00:37:27,545 --> 00:37:29,847 YOU ARE WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 684 00:37:29,914 --> 00:37:33,618 >> THE TRIPS ARE GREAT BECAUSE YOU GET CLOSE AND YOU FEEL THE 685 00:37:33,684 --> 00:37:36,454 HUMAN CONSEQUENCES OF THE CHALLENGES THAT WE ARE ALL 686 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:38,789 READING ABOUT, BACK HERE AND THAT AMERICANS ARE EXPERIENCING 687 00:37:38,856 --> 00:37:40,391 IN DIFFERENT WAYS. 688 00:37:40,458 --> 00:37:46,430 YOU SEE THE RESILL YENSZ, THAT HUNGER PEOPLE HAVE TO GET BACK 689 00:37:46,497 --> 00:37:49,734 TO WORK AND NOT BE RECEIVING ASSISTANCE. 690 00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:52,503 THEY ALL WANT TRADE, NOT AID. 691 00:37:52,570 --> 00:37:57,308 HONESTLY STEPHEN, THE WAY I FEW THIS JOB IS I WAS IN THE OBAMA 692 00:37:57,375 --> 00:37:59,844 ADMINISTRATION SO FORTUNATE, FOR EIGHT YEARS, MY FIRST TIME IN 693 00:37:59,910 --> 00:38:05,950 PUBLIC SERVICE, THEN I HAD TO LIVE THE NEXT FOUR YEARS OUT OF 694 00:38:06,017 --> 00:38:07,118 GOVERNMENT. 695 00:38:07,184 --> 00:38:10,488 THOO YOU KNOW, POWERFUL AS TWEETS ARE, IT DIDN'T HAVE QUITE 696 00:38:10,554 --> 00:38:13,024 THE SAME, YOU KNOW, IMPACT POTENTIALLY. 697 00:38:13,090 --> 00:38:18,095 I MEAN THE UNITED STATES IS IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL AND IS IN 698 00:38:18,162 --> 00:38:21,298 IT IN A WAY THAT AGAIN IF YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES, 699 00:38:21,365 --> 00:38:24,735 WHAT WOULD YOU WISH THE UNITED STATES RESPONSE TO BE. 700 00:38:24,802 --> 00:38:27,805 I JUST FEEL REALLY LUCKY TO BE A PART OF TRYING TO FIGURE OUT 701 00:38:27,872 --> 00:38:30,141 WHAT THAT IS. 702 00:38:30,207 --> 00:38:32,476 THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD THERE GO I. 703 00:38:32,543 --> 00:38:37,381 WE ARE FORTUNATE TO BE IN THIS POSITION RATHER THAN TO BE-- . 704 00:38:37,448 --> 00:38:40,484 >> Stephen: I KNOW WE HAVE TO GO HERE, GOT TO GO HERE, IN JUST 705 00:38:40,551 --> 00:38:43,988 ONE SECOND. 706 00:38:44,055 --> 00:38:46,390 , GETTING THE HIGH SIGN OVER HERE. 707 00:38:46,457 --> 00:38:49,293 BUT SPEAKING OF THE AIDE YEARS YOU SPENT IN THE OBAMA 708 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,595 ADMINISTRATION, WHAT ONE THE OTHER PEOPLE IN THAT 709 00:38:51,662 --> 00:38:54,598 ADMINISTRATION WAS AT THE TIME VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN, NOW 710 00:38:54,665 --> 00:38:55,833 HE'S YOUR BOSS. 711 00:38:55,900 --> 00:39:00,204 WHAT WAS HE LIKE AS A BIT OF A STRONG WORD BUT WHAT WAS HE LIKE 712 00:39:00,271 --> 00:39:02,440 AS A COWORKER, LET'S SAY. 713 00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:06,911 >> I WILL MENTION TO HIM THAT THAT WAS-- MY COWORKER AS THE 714 00:39:06,977 --> 00:39:09,246 VICE PRESIDENT. 715 00:39:09,313 --> 00:39:13,050 HE WAS, JOE BIDEN IS EXACTLY BEHIND THE SCENES WHAT JOE BIDEN 716 00:39:13,117 --> 00:39:16,420 IS, YOU KNOW, OUT IN GRAND DISPLAY. 717 00:39:16,487 --> 00:39:20,858 AND SO WE WOULD BE IN MEEGHTS AND I WOULD BE SAYING SOMETHING, 718 00:39:20,925 --> 00:39:23,094 MAYBE THAT MIGHT BE LANDING LIKE A LEAD BALLOON IN THE CENTER OF 719 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:29,200 THE MEETING, WITH THE THEN PRESIDENT, PRESIDENT OBAMA. 720 00:39:29,266 --> 00:39:30,801 SPARRING A LITTLE BIT. 721 00:39:30,868 --> 00:39:34,505 MAYBE A LITTLE, AGAINS, COUNTER TO WHAT OTHERS MIGHT WANT TO BE 722 00:39:34,572 --> 00:39:38,209 DOING AT THE TIME AND I JUST KIND OF BE DEFLATED AND FEEL 723 00:39:38,275 --> 00:39:41,679 UNJOINED AND NEXT THING SOMEBODY WOULD PASS ME A NOTE FROM MANY 724 00:39:41,746 --> 00:39:43,814 SEATS DOWN, BECAUSE THE VICE PRESIDENT WAS RIGHT NEXT TO THE 725 00:39:43,881 --> 00:39:46,784 PRESIDENT AND IT WOULD BE A NOTE FROM JOE BIDEN SAYING THAT IS 726 00:39:46,851 --> 00:39:48,319 EXACTLY WHY YOU ARE HERE. 727 00:39:48,385 --> 00:39:51,589 YOU KNOW, NEVER BE QUIET. 728 00:39:51,655 --> 00:39:54,792 ANOTHER NOTE, GO IRISH. 729 00:39:54,859 --> 00:39:58,496 YOU KNOW. 730 00:39:58,562 --> 00:40:00,064 SO THAT'S-- . 731 00:40:00,131 --> 00:40:02,800 >> Stephen: THAT'S JOE. 732 00:40:02,867 --> 00:40:04,368 SAM AN, THAT LOVELY TO SEE YOU. 733 00:40:04,435 --> 00:40:05,202 >> GREAT TO SEE YOU. 734 00:40:05,269 --> 00:40:06,170 >> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. 735 00:40:06,237 --> 00:40:07,238 >> THANK YOU. 736 00:40:07,304 --> 00:40:08,572 >> Stephen: U.S.A. ID ADMINISTRATOR SAMANTHA POWER, 737 00:40:17,014 --> 00:40:19,583 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, THAT'S IT FOR THE LATE SHOW, 738 00:40:19,650 --> 00:40:21,752 TUNE IN TOMORROW, MY GUEST WILL BE OLIVIA WILDE AND UKRAINE'S 739 00:40:21,819 --> 00:40:25,422 MINISTER OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS. 740 00:40:25,489 --> 00:40:27,691 STICK AROUND FOR JAMES CORDEN. 741 00:40:27,758 --> 00:40:28,759 GOOD NIGHT.