1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:03,103 >> GEORGIA REPUBLICAN SENATE CANDIDATE HERSCHEL WALKER 2 00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:06,940 STRONGLY DENYING ACCUSATION THIS MORNING THAT HE PAID FOR A 3 00:00:07,006 --> 00:00:08,408 WOMAN'S ABORTION IN 2009. 4 00:00:08,475 --> 00:00:12,912 >>ER IN'S CLAIMING ON SEPTEMBER 12th, OF 12009 THAT THE 5 00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:15,181 WOMAN HAS A RECEIPT FOR AN ABORTION. 6 00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:19,185 THEY ARE CLAIMING THAT FIVE DAYS LATER ON SEPTEMBER 17th YOU 7 00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:25,058 SENT A $700 CHECK AND THAT YOU SENT IT IN A GET-WELL CARD. 8 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:30,663 >> I CAN TELL YOU, I SENT OUT SO MANY GET WELL, SEND OUT SO MUCH 9 00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:31,331 OF ANYTHING. 10 00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:32,932 >> WHAT ABOUT THE $700 CHECK. 11 00:00:32,999 --> 00:00:35,001 >> WELL, I SEND MONEY TO A LOT OF PEOPLE. 12 00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:41,107 >> DO YOU ENJOY SENDING VAGUE CARDS TO STRANGERS FOR NO REASON 13 00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:42,142 CONSTANTLY? 14 00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:46,045 HALLMARK INTRODUCES THE HERSCHEL WALKER COLLECTION. 15 00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:48,114 WHEN YOU JUST WANT TO SAY SOMETHING TO SOMEONE YOU DON'T 16 00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:53,620 KNOW FOR NO REASON LIKE GETS WELL SOON AND OR CONGRATULATIONS 17 00:00:53,686 --> 00:00:55,755 ON THAT GREAT THING THAT MIGHT HAVE JUST HAPPENED. 18 00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:56,990 HERE HE'S A CHECK. 19 00:00:57,056 --> 00:01:02,095 PUT IN THE NUMBER OF DOLLARS YOU THINK WOULD BE APPROPRIATE TO 20 00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:03,329 SOOTH/CELEBRATE YOU. 21 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:06,166 THE HALLMARK HERSCHEL WALKER COLLECTION. 22 00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:08,234 THE PERFECT WAY TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY FOR THE THING THAT YOU 23 00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:17,377 >> IT'S THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT. 24 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:25,452 TONIGHT WALKER OF SHAME PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES MAGGIE HABERMAN 25 00:01:25,518 --> 00:01:33,426 AND THE ANCHOR OF HOT TAPE FROM TUNING OUT THE NEWS, FEATURING 26 00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:37,197 LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW BANDMENT AND NOW LIVE ON TAPE 27 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:44,871 FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK CITY, IT'S STEPHEN 28 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,940 COLBERT! 29 00:02:03,122 --> 00:02:05,124 (APPLAUSE). 30 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:11,598 >> Stephen: GENE SIMMONS, HELLO, HELLO. 31 00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:15,602 HAPPY TUESDAY. 32 00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:17,937 HEY, EVERYBODY. 33 00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:19,005 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). 34 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:20,373 >> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH, PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, 35 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,741 EVERYBOD, SIT DOWN. 36 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,177 SIT DOWN! 37 00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:25,745 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 38 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:30,083 THAT IS SO EXCITING, THAT IS SO EXCITING. 39 00:02:30,149 --> 00:02:31,184 YOU GOT MY HEART RATE UP. 40 00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:32,385 >> YOU OKAY. 41 00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:33,586 >> Stephen: I'M ALL RIGHT. 42 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:34,787 >> YOU GOOD? 43 00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:37,524 >> Stephen: WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO THE LATE SHOW 44 00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:41,561 I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 45 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:44,631 WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN FEEL SORT OF THE ENERGY IN THE NEWS 46 00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:51,104 CYCLE PICKING UP BECAUSE THE MID TERMS ARE ONLY ABOUT FIVE WEEKS 47 00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:53,706 AWAY, MAYBE A LITTLE LESS. 48 00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:55,475 AND ONE OF THE KEY RACES FOR CONTROL OF THE SENATE WAS TURNED 49 00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:56,843 COMPLETELY UPSIDE DOWN LAST NIGHT. 50 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,112 I'M TALKING ABOUT THE GEORGIA SENATE RACE BETWEEN INCUMBENT 51 00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:03,816 DEMOCRATIC SENATOR AND KING OF THE SEARS PORTRAIT STUDIO, 52 00:03:03,883 --> 00:03:09,222 RAPHAEL WARNOCK, G.O.P. NOMINEE AND PSYCHIC FAILING TO READ HIS 53 00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:11,591 OWN MIND, HERSCHEL WALKER. 54 00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:14,260 WALKER HAS MADE HEADLINES BECAUSE HE IS IN FAVOR OF A 55 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:22,068 NATIONAL ABORTION BAN WITH "NO EXCEPTIONS." 56 00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:25,705 TURNS OUT, HE MIGHT MAKE ONE EXCEPTION TO THAT 57 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,640 BECAUSE REPORTEDLY, BACK IN 2009 HERSCHEL WALKER PAID FOR HIS 58 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:28,908 GIRLFRIEND'S ABORTION. 59 00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:32,011 I HAVEN'T SEEN A HYPOCRITE THIS BIG SINCE GANDHI DID THAT AD FOR 60 00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:34,647 ARBY'S. 61 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:39,152 "BE THE MEATS YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD." 62 00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:41,521 OF COURSE, WALKER DENIES IT. 63 00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:44,457 HE TWEETED THAT THE REPORT IS "A FLAT-OUT LIE." 64 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,526 AND IF THERE'S ONE THING HERSCHEL WALKER KNOWS, IT'S 65 00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:51,464 LYING. 66 00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:55,468 BECAUSE HE HAS DONE A TON OF IT, INCLUDING, FALSELY CLAIMED 67 00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:57,036 FALSELY CLAIMING HE WAS AN F.B.I. AGENT, HIDING THE FACT 68 00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:59,238 THAT HE HAD SECRET CHILDREN FROM HIS OWN CAMPAIGN, AND FALSELY 69 00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:03,443 CLAIMING HE NEVER FALSELY CLAIMED TO HAVE GRADUATED FROM 70 00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:08,815 THE UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA. 71 00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:09,582 REALLY! 72 00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:12,986 , HE NOT ONLY, THAT'S IMPRESSIVE. 73 00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:15,321 HE NOT ONLY LIED, HE LIED ABOUT LYING. 74 00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:20,860 WHAT KIND OF LESSON DOES THAT TEACH HIS SECRET CHILDREN? 75 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,929 AND THIS WOMAN HAS THE RECEIPTS. 76 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:27,400 SPECIFICALLY, A RECEIPT FROM THE ABORTION CLINIC, A COPY OF A 77 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:31,437 $700 CHECK FROM MR. WALKER, AND A SIGNED GET WELL CARD. 78 00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:32,505 THIS IS, WHAT'S THE WORD? 79 00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:35,074 A DISASTER. 80 00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:39,278 SO WALKER WENT ON THE FOX NEWS, AND WAS ASKED ABOUT THIS 81 00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:41,981 EVIDENCE BY THE MOST EFFECTIVE FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL KNOWN TO 82 00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:43,916 MAN, SEAN HANNITY. 83 00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:45,551 JIM? 84 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:48,888 >> THE GET WELL CARD, IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S INCLUDED WITH YOUR 85 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,356 SIGNATURE IN THE ARTICLE. 86 00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,091 HAVE YOU SEEN IT? 87 00:04:52,158 --> 00:04:54,093 IS THAT YOUR SIGNATURE? 88 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,029 >> I HAVEN'T SEEN IT. 89 00:04:56,095 --> 00:05:00,833 BUT, YOU KNOW, I CAN TELL YOU I SENT OUT SO MANY GET WELL 90 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,735 SEND OUT SO MUCH OF ANYTHING. 91 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,504 >> Stephen: WELL, SURE, ALL CELEBRITIES SEND CARDS TO 92 00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:06,239 COMPLETE STRANGERS. 93 00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:13,312 IN FACT, HERSCHEL'S GOING THROUGH A TOUGH TIME RIGHT NOW, 94 00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:21,587 SO LET ME JUST GET THIS DOWN REAL QUICK. 95 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:29,395 (APPLAUSE) DEAR HERSCHEL, GETS WELL-- YOU 96 00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:34,033 KNOW WHAT, GET [BLEEP]. 97 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,001 STEPHEN." 98 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:44,210 AND I WILL MAIL THAT, THROUGH THE TELEVISION. 99 00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:52,118 (APPLAUSE) >> THAT'S GOOD. 100 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,287 WALKER HAD A PRETTY TERRIBLE EXCUSE FOR THE MONEY TOO. 101 00:05:54,353 --> 00:05:55,421 >> WHAT ABOUT THE $700 CHECK? 102 00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:57,390 IS THERE ANYBODY YOU CAN REMEMBER SENDING THAT MUCH MONEY 103 00:05:57,457 --> 00:06:00,626 TO? 104 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,895 >> WELL I SEND MONEY TO A LOT OF PEOPLE AND THAT'S WHAT'S SO 105 00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:04,063 FUNNY. 106 00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:06,632 I DO SCHOLARSHIPS FOR KIDS, I GIVE MONEY TO PEOPLE ALL THE 107 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,568 TIME BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS HELPING PEOPLE BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN 108 00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:09,602 BEING GENEROUS. 109 00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:12,772 >> Stephen: IT'S TRUE! HE DOES LIKE HELPING PEOPLE. 110 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:22,648 FOR INSTANCE, THAT INTERVIEW REALLY HELPED RAPHAEL WARNOCK. 111 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:25,451 ALSO IN THE MIDTERMS, THERE'S SOME INTERESTING NEW FOOTAGE OUT 112 00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:28,955 OF THE MICHIGAN GOVERNOR'S RACE, WHERE INCUMBENT GRETCHEN WHITMER 113 00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:32,058 IS RUNNING AGAINST REPUBLICAN NOMINEE AND WOMAN LECTURING 114 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:37,430 THE WAITER JUST HOW SPICY SHE WANTS THAT-A MEAT-A-BALL, TUDOR 115 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:40,533 DIXON. 116 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,636 IN THE LATEST POLLS, SHE'S TRAILING WHITMER BY A WHOPPING 117 00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:45,605 17 POINTS, AND SHE'S RAISED SO LITTLE CASH THAT HER CAMPAIGN 118 00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:50,710 HAS NOT HAD THE MONEY TO FUND ITS OWN COMMERCIALS. 119 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:54,547 SO MICHIGAN'S GRASHITT COUNTY REPUBLICAN PARTY MADE THEIR OWN 120 00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,916 COMMERCIAL FOR DIXON, AND THEY DIDN'T LET THEIR LACK OF BUDGET 121 00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:59,352 OR TALENT STOP THEM. 122 00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:01,521 DIXON SHARED IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND NOW, WELL, I'M SHARING IT 123 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,422 WITH YOU. 124 00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:05,324 JIM? 125 00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:08,961 >> HEY HAVE YOU SEEN THE TV ADS WITH THE GOVERNOR TALKING ABOUT 126 00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:10,730 THE GREAT THINGS SHE'S DONE FOR MICHIGAN? 127 00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,598 >> SHE'S A LIAR. 128 00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:15,268 WHITMER CAN SAY WHAT SHE WANTS BUT WE LIVE HERE. 129 00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:17,303 JUST LOOK AROUND MAN. 130 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:20,940 >> DURING COVID, WHITMER LOCKED DOWN BUSINESSES LIKE THE BARBER, 131 00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,543 AND PUT ONE WOMAN FROM HOLLAND IN JAIL. 132 00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:30,383 >> OH YEAH. 133 00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:36,622 >> Stephen: MAN, I GOT TO SAY, SONS OF ANARCHY IS NOT AS GOOD 134 00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:37,924 AS I REMEMBER. 135 00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:39,425 THE COMMUNITY THEATER BIKERS HAD SOME MORE COMPLAINTS ABOUT 136 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:42,929 WHITMER: >> 3,000 RESTAURANTS CLOSED. 137 00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:43,963 AND SHE'S PRO BUSINESS? PERSON >> YEAH RIGHT. 138 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,934 >> AND WHAT ABOUT THOSE HIGHER GAS AND FOOD PRICES? 139 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:48,968 >> OUR SCHOOLS WERE CLOSED FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS. 140 00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:52,939 POOR KIDS! 141 00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:54,574 >> AND SHE PUT COVID PATIENTS IN GRAM'S NURSING HOME! 142 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,642 >> GRAM DIED ALONE. 143 00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:09,188 >> WOW, WOW. 144 00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:19,098 >> Stephen: AND THE OSCAR GOES TO... BIKER GANDALF! 145 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:25,905 (APPLAUSE) IT'S SAD, IT'S SO SAD. 146 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,840 ALSO, YOU CAN'T BE MAD THAT WHITMER CLOSED SCHOOLS AND ALSO 147 00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:29,742 BE MAD ABOUT PEOPLE CATCHING COVID! 148 00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:33,913 "DRUNK DRIVING'S UP AND SHE CLOSED THE BARS. 149 00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:43,956 GRAM DRANK ALONE." 150 00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:53,132 THEN IT WAS TIME TO PLUG THEIR CANDIDATE OF CHOICE... SOMEONE: 151 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,433 >> OKAY OKAY, I'M VOTING FOR THE OTHER CHICK! 152 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,770 WHATS HER NAME? 153 00:08:57,837 --> 00:08:59,438 >> Stephen: THAT'S JUST THE KIND OF ENTHUSIASTIC ENDORSEMENT 154 00:08:59,505 --> 00:09:03,309 THAT'LL PUT YOUR CAMPAIGN OVER THE TOP. 155 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,611 REMINDS ME OF THE EISENHOWER'S CAMPAIGN SLOGAN: I LIKE... THE 156 00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:06,078 BALD DUDE. 157 00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:06,846 WHAT'S HIS NAME? 158 00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:10,850 JIMMY CRIMCRAM? 159 00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:16,722 EVENTUALLY, THEY REMEMBERED THE CANDIDATE THEY LOVE SO DEAR. 160 00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:19,892 >> OKAY OKAY, I'M VOTING FOR THE OTHER CHICK! 161 00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:22,728 WHAT'S HER NAME? 162 00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:24,163 >> TUDOR DIXON! 163 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,431 OKAY LET'S ROLL! 164 00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:28,567 >> WATCH OUT FOR POTHOLES! 165 00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:31,070 >> Stephen: "OKAY, HERE WE GO! 166 00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,406 UH OH, IT'S A POTHOLE! 167 00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:36,008 I HOPE GRAM DOESN'T HIT IT. 168 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,077 GRAM RIDES ALONE." 169 00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:15,948 (APPLAUSE) S AND THE OSCAR GOES TO. 170 00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:17,683 OF COURSE, THE BIGGEST ISSUE IN THE MIDTERMS REMAINS FORMER 171 00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,552 PRESIDENT THE LOCH NESS FRAUDSTER. 172 00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:22,488 ALL THE NEWS ABOUT HIM IS TERRIBLE, SO YESTERDAY HE 173 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,724 DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. 174 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:29,528 HE SUED CNN FOR DEFAMATION, CHARGING THE CHANNEL ACTED WITH 175 00:10:29,595 --> 00:10:30,930 "REAL ANIMOSITY" TO CAUSE HIM "TRUE HARM." 176 00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:34,400 TRUE HARM? 177 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,369 THEY REPORTED THE FACTS! 178 00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:45,611 THAT'S LIKE SUING YOUR MIRROR FOR GIVING YOU CANKLES. 179 00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:48,180 -- YOU SUE YOUR MOM AND DAT. 180 00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:50,716 SPECIFICALLY, THE SUIT CLAIMS THAT CNN TRIED TO TAINT THE 181 00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:51,751 PLAINTIFF, WHICH IS NOT EASY. 182 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:59,191 THE PLAINTIFF IS MOSTLY TAINT. 183 00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:02,261 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) WE'RE BACK, BABY! 184 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:06,265 WE'RE BACK! 185 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:11,370 TOUCH AND GO THERE FOR AWHILE, WITH A SERIES OF 186 00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:13,439 EVER-MORE SCANDALOUS, FALSE, AND DEFAMATORY LABELS OF 'RACIST,' 187 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,940 'RUSSIAN LACKEY,' 'INSURRECTIONIST,' AND 188 00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,175 ULTIMATELY 'HITLER'." 189 00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:17,843 "ULTIMATELY HITLER," OF COURSE, ALSO THE NAME OF WORLD WAR 2'S 190 00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:21,414 WORST-SELLING COLOGNE. 191 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:25,351 OVER IN EASTERN EUROPE, UKRAINE'S ARMY HAS ONCE AGAIN 192 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:34,760 BLOWN THROUGH PUTIN'S FORCES, THIS IS TODAY, REALLY HAPPENING, 193 00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:35,694 AMAZING. 194 00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:37,296 TODAY THEY HAVE RECAPTURING LARGE SWATHS OF 195 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,497 TERRITORY FROM THE RUSSIANS. 196 00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:40,599 ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY KNOW HOW THIS WAR IS GOING TO END IS 197 00:11:40,666 --> 00:11:43,402 AN IDIOT. 198 00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:48,674 ENTER TESLA FOUNDER AND EVIL BARON FROM THE NEW SEASON OF 199 00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:50,876 BRIDGERTON, ELON MUSK. 200 00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:55,281 YESTERDAY, MUSK FLOATED AN INSANE NEW PLAN TO END THE WAR 201 00:11:55,347 --> 00:12:02,321 IN THE MOST ELON MUSK WAY POSSIBLE: VIA TWITTER POLL. 202 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,690 SO WHAT WAS IN MUSK'S BLAN. 203 00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:11,297 REDO ELECTIONS OF A NEGOTIATIONED REGON UNDER 204 00:12:11,363 --> 00:12:13,165 "REDO ELECTIONS OF ANNEXED REGIONS UNDER U.N. SUPERVISION." 205 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,500 "CRIMEA FORMALLY PART OF RUSSIA." 206 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,701 "WATER SUPPLY TO CRIMEA ASSURED." 207 00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:16,869 SO RUSSIA GETS EVERYTHING THEY WANT, BUT IN EXCHANGE, UKRAINE 208 00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:20,940 GIVES RUSSIA EVERYTHING THEY WANT. 209 00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:23,142 SOUNDS LIKE THE KIND OF PLAN THE KREMLIN WOULD THANK HIM FOR. 210 00:12:23,209 --> 00:12:26,345 WHICH COULD BE WHY, SHORTLY AFTER, THE KREMLIN THANKED HIM 211 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:29,915 FOR IT. 212 00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:31,784 SEEMS LIKE MUSK IS DOING RUSSIA'S BIDDING HERE. 213 00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:39,859 EXPLAINSWHY HIS LATEST MODEL TESLA... IS POTATO. 214 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:42,995 I LIKE THEY GOT THE OLD-FASHIONED GRILL, THAT OLD 215 00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:45,998 GRILL ON THE FRONT, THEY DON'T MAKE THAT ANY MORE, THAT IS 216 00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:47,066 FIRST GENERATION. 217 00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,701 TOP UKRAINIAN OFFICIALS CLAPPED BACK AT MUSK'S POLL. 218 00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:53,172 UKRAINE'S AMBASSADOR TO GERMANY RESPONDED: (/ BLEEP/ ) OFF IS MY 219 00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:54,140 VERY DIPLOMATIC REPLY TO YOU. 220 00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:58,978 HEY! 221 00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:00,279 THAT'S NOT RIGHT. 222 00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:04,183 THE DIPLOMATIC REPLY WOULD BE 'PLEASE' (/ BLEEP/ ) OFF. 223 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:07,419 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT, MY GUEST IS MAGGIE 224 00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:08,387 HABERMAN. 225 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,456 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!" 226 00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:54,266 >> Stephen: GIVE IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW 227 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:58,971 BAND, EVERYBODY. 228 00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:04,910 (APPLAUSE) LOUIS, WE GOT A VERY EXCITING 229 00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:06,011 GUEST TONIGHT. 230 00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:08,581 I HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY INTERVIEWED THIS PERSON BUT HAVE 231 00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:11,617 I ADMIRED THEIR WORK FOR MANY YEARS FROM "THE NEW YORK TIMES," 232 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:16,522 MAGGIE HABERMAN IS HERE. 233 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,557 A NEW BOOK ABOUT THE FORMER PRESIDENT. 234 00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:21,961 AND JOINING US LATER IN THE SHOW ONE OF MY COLLEAGUES TYLER 235 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:25,064 TEMPLETON FROM TUNING OUT THE NEWS ON COMEDY CENTRAL WILL BE 236 00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:30,236 JOINING US HERE LIVE VIA SATELLITE FROM OUTSIDE 237 00:14:30,302 --> 00:14:30,903 MAR-A-LAGO. 238 00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:32,371 THAT IS AN EXCLUSIVE. 239 00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:35,574 WE CALL THAT AN EXCLUSIVE IN THE BUSINESS. 240 00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:36,842 NOW ARE YOU A HEALTHY PERSON, AREN'T YOU. 241 00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:40,012 >> I TRY TO BE SCZ YEAH, WHAT DO YOU DO TO STAY HEALTHY. 242 00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:42,548 >> YOU KNOW, DO I HIGH INTENSITY INTERVAL TRAINING. 243 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,651 >> Stephen: HIGH INTENSITY INTERVAL TRAINING. 244 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,754 >> IN THE OLD DAYS WE USED TO WORK OUT IN THE DRESSING ROOM. 245 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:51,757 >> Stephen: YOU USED TO WORK OUT TOGETHER. 246 00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:52,992 >> OH YEAH. 247 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,361 >> Stephen: ARE YOU TOO YOUNG TO SAY OLD DAYS, BY THE WAY, MI 248 00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:58,030 ONLY ASKING YOU BECAUSE EVI THE OTHER DAY SAID ARE YOU GOING TO 249 00:14:58,097 --> 00:14:58,897 TAKE A STRESS TEST. 250 00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:00,065 >> REALLY. 251 00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:03,836 >> Stephen: IS HE SHE MADE AN APPOINTMENT FOR ME TO TAKE A 252 00:15:03,902 --> 00:15:08,374 STRESS TEST AND I SAID WHAT SHE SAID SCWUTION GO DO T I SAW FOUR 253 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:12,278 DOCK TOAFER-- DOCTORS OVER THE COURSE OF ONE DAY, THEY SAID WHY 254 00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:15,314 ARE YOU HERE, MY WIFE MADE AN A POWNTMENT THAT IS WHY I AM HERE. 255 00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:18,550 I DID THE STRESS TEST, GOT ON THE TREADMILL WITH THE THING 256 00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:20,819 STRAPPED TO YOU AND THE THING AND THE THING HERE AND THERE, 257 00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:24,590 AND YOU RUN, TURNS OUT I'M IMMORTAL. 258 00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:25,557 >> I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT. 259 00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:28,961 >> Stephen: I HAVE THIS THING, THEY SCANNED ME. 260 00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:30,729 I CAN'T BE KILLED. 261 00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:35,367 IF THIS SHOW WON'T KILL ME, NOTHING WILL. 262 00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:39,071 I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO FIND A BLOCKAGE IN MY HEART THE 263 00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:40,906 SIZE OF A GOLF BALL, HONEST TO GOD. 264 00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:44,376 I GOT THE CAT SCAN, HUNDRED PERCENT CLEAR, NOTHING THIS 265 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:45,077 THERE. 266 00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:45,477 NO HEART. 267 00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:47,713 S IS. 268 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:48,647 >> OH. 269 00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:52,951 >> Stephen: ANYWAY VERY EXCITED TO BE ALIVE. 270 00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:58,257 I AM, I AM VERY EXCITED TO BE ALIVE, LIFE IS GOOD, MORE LIFE 271 00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:00,626 IS BETTER, DON'T YOU THINK? 272 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:01,093 >> AMEN, AMEN. 273 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,328 >> Stephen: YEAH. 274 00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:03,929 >> Stephen: FOLKS, I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME, RIGHT OVER THERE, 275 00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:05,831 COMBING THE DAY'S NEWS AND SELECTING ONLY THE FINEST, MOST 276 00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:08,967 SUPPLE LINDEN WOOD, HAND-CARVING IT INTO EPIC AND TOPICAL 277 00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:12,438 CHARACTERS, THEN PRESERVING THEM IN BEESWAX, AND CONNECTING THE 278 00:16:12,504 --> 00:16:16,008 LIMBS TO A HORIZONTAL CONTROL TO CREATE THE EXQUISITE TRADITIONAL 279 00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:20,179 CZECH "LOTE-KARSTVI" MARIONETTE THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE. 280 00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:23,015 BUT SOMETIMES I FALL OUT OF THE DUCT WORK IN A ROSS DRESS FOR 281 00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:26,352 LESS, TEAR THE BUTTONS OFF A REMAINDERED PEA-COAT, AND 282 00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,721 GRAB A PILE OF PIPE CLEANERS FROM THE CRAFTS DEPARTMENT AND 283 00:16:28,787 --> 00:16:32,624 SLAP IT ALL ON SOME DISCOUNT PANTYHOSE TO CREATE THE UNHINGED 284 00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:35,561 TRANSIENT'S SOCK-PUPPET OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT: 285 00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:47,539 >> MEANWHILE! 286 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:51,477 MEANWHILE, IT IS AN EMOTIONAL LIFE RAFTS. 287 00:16:51,543 --> 00:16:53,045 >> Stephen: MEANWHILE, ACCORDING TO THE LATEST DATA, 288 00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:56,715 "NON-FUNGIBLE TOKEN TRADING VOLUME HAS SLID 97% SINCE THE 289 00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:59,718 BEGINNING OF 2022," AND "NFT SALES HAVE LOST NEARLY ALL THEIR 290 00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:00,552 ALLURE." 291 00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:02,855 HOLD ON. 292 00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:07,793 YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT PURELY SPECULATIVE, NON-EXISTENT, 293 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,595 HALF-BAKED DIGITAL CARTOON MONKEYS THAT CAN BE COPIED BY 294 00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:11,897 ANYONE AND WHICH ARE CONSTANTLY BEING 295 00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:17,202 HACKED AND STOLEN... HAVE LOST THEIR ALLURE? 296 00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:19,638 THANKFULLY MY FINANCIAL PORTFOLIO IS BALANCED WITH 297 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:30,649 BEANIE BABIES. 298 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,418 (APPLAUSE) MEANWHILE, THIS WEEK, "THE 299 00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:34,987 S.E.C. CHARGED KIM KARDASHIAN FOR UNLAWFULLY TOUTING CRYPTO ON 300 00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:36,955 HER INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT." 301 00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:39,892 KARDASHI-KIM DIDN'T PROPERLY MAKE IT CLEAR SHE WAS BEING PAID 302 00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:44,663 TO ADVERTISE A SECURITY WHEN SHE POSTED "ARE YOU GUYS INTO 303 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:45,864 CRYPTO-- FOUR QUESTION MARKS?" 304 00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:49,435 "MY FRIENDS JUST TOLD ME ABOUT THE ETHEREUM MAX TOKEN!" 305 00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,403 THEN WAYYY DOWN AT THE BOTTOM... 306 00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:53,238 HASHTAG-AD. 307 00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:55,941 IF ONLY IT WERE THAT EASY TO DISCLAIMER YOUR WAY OUT OF 308 00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,176 WRONGDOING. 309 00:17:57,242 --> 00:18:00,279 "HONEY, I'M NOT CHEATING ON YOU. 310 00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:01,079 I'VE ALWAYS BEEN 100% FAITHFUL. 311 00:18:01,146 --> 00:18:07,953 HASHTAG-BONING-KAREN." 312 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:11,690 SO HERE'S THE DEAL, HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED. 313 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,292 SO KIM HAD TO PAY A $1.3 MILLION FINE, THEN HER LAWYER RELEASED 314 00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:15,394 THIS STATEMENT: "THE AGREEMENT SHE REACHED WITH THE 315 00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:17,396 SEC ALLOWS HER TO... MOVE FORWARD WITH HER MANY DIFFERENT 316 00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:18,931 BUSINESS PURSUITS. 317 00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:20,599 FOR INSTANCE, ARE YOU GUYS INTO GETTING THIN BY EATING 318 00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:23,101 CANDY??????? 319 00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:26,338 MY FRIENDS JUST TOLD ME ABOUT EPHEDRINE WEIGHT LOSS 320 00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:28,006 TAFFY!!!!!!!!! 321 00:18:28,073 --> 00:18:38,750 #THISWILLKILLYOU." 322 00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:42,488 MEANWHILE, THANKS TO THEIR SUPPOSED WATERPROOFING, ELON 323 00:18:42,554 --> 00:18:51,497 MUSK CLAIMS CYBERTRUCKS CAN "SERVE BRIEFLY AS A BOAT." 324 00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:56,101 HEY, GENIUS, YOU DRIVE IT INTO A LAKE FAST 325 00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:57,035 ENOUGH, ANY CAR CAN SERVE BRIEFLY AS A BOAT. 326 00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:58,103 THEN SLIGHTLY LONGER AS A SUBMARINE. 327 00:18:58,170 --> 00:19:10,082 AND THEN ETERNALLY AS A COFFIN. 328 00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:12,384 MEANWHILE, ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY, DOGS CAN SMELL WHEN WE'RE 329 00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:14,152 STRESSED OUT. 330 00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:15,888 FOR THE RECORD, SO CAN CATS. 331 00:19:15,954 --> 00:19:20,325 THEY JUST DON'T CARE. 332 00:19:20,392 --> 00:19:24,096 MEANWHILE, NEW YORK'S PUBLIC TRANSIT AUTHORITY, "THE M.T.A. 333 00:19:24,162 --> 00:19:25,731 NOW HAS A SIGNATURE SANDWICH." 334 00:19:25,797 --> 00:19:29,101 GREAT NEWS FOR ANYONE WHO EVER SMELLED HOT URINE AND DEAD RATS 335 00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:37,609 AND THOUGHT, "I AM 'STARVING." 336 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:41,780 THAT'SES SAND WITCH THOUGH, RIGHT, THAT LOOKS GOOD. 337 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,181 MEANWHILE, AS PART OF PUBLIC OUTREACH FOR ITS 75th 338 00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:45,951 ANNIVERSARY, "THE CIA HAS LAUNCHED ITS FIRST PODCAST" 339 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:49,521 CALLED "THE LANGLEY FILES." 340 00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:51,657 COME ON, C.I.A! YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH "WAIT, WAIT, INTEL 341 00:19:51,723 --> 00:20:02,701 ME!" MEANWHILE, McDONALD'S WILL SELL 342 00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:03,936 ADULT HAPPY MEALS THIS OCTOBER. 343 00:20:04,002 --> 00:20:07,606 OF COURSE, AN ADULT HAPPY MEAL INCLUDES, A SMALL CHEESEBURGER, 344 00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:11,276 A SMALL FRY, AND A MINIONS-THEMED BALL GAG. 345 00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:13,345 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MAGGIE HABERMAN. 346 00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:40,539 HELLO, WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 347 00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:43,976 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST IS A PULITZER 348 00:20:44,042 --> 00:20:47,813 PRIZE-WINNING JOURNALIST WHOSE LATEST WORK IS THE BOMBSHELL 349 00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:48,513 BOOK "CONFIDENCE MAN." 350 00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,515 PLEASE WELCOME, MAGGIE HABERMAN! 351 00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:14,706 >> Stephen: THANKS FOR BEING HERE, GOT YOUR OWN THEME MUSIC 352 00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:15,107 NOW. 353 00:21:15,173 --> 00:21:15,707 >> THANK YOU. 354 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:16,341 >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO. 355 00:21:16,408 --> 00:21:18,243 REALLY NICE TO HAVE YOU ON. 356 00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:21,279 OBVIOUSLY HAVE I ADMIRED YOUR WORK FOR MANY YEARS AS I SAID 357 00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:24,983 BEFORE, I WATCHED YOU ON THE ANDERSON COOPER POWER HOUR MANY, 358 00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:28,787 MANY TIMES, YOU KNOW WHAT ST INTERESTING, IT IS FUN TO SEE 359 00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:29,488 YOU SMILE. 360 00:21:29,554 --> 00:21:31,323 BECAUSE YOU HAVE A LOVELY SMILE. 361 00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:33,392 BUT YOU NEVER SMILE WHEN ARE YOU ON PANEL. 362 00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:34,326 ARE YOU JUST STONE FACED. 363 00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:38,964 ST LIKE YOU ARE THE ULTIMATE POKER SHOWDOWN. 364 00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:40,198 >> YOU SOUND LIKE MY FATHER, THANK YOU. 365 00:21:40,265 --> 00:21:42,200 >> Stephen: I AM LOATHE TO SAY TO A WOMAN YOU SHOULD SMILE MORE 366 00:21:42,267 --> 00:21:46,038 BUT WHAT I AM SAYING IS THAT YOU REALLY DO REALLY PLAY YOUR CARDS 367 00:21:46,104 --> 00:21:49,508 CLOSE TO YOUR CHEST WHEN ARE YOU REPORTING ON THE FORMER 368 00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:52,778 PRESIDENT AS YOU DO IN YOUR NEW BOOK, CONFIDENCE MAN. 369 00:21:52,844 --> 00:21:58,817 THE MAKING OF DONALD TRUMP AND THE BREAKING OF AMERICA. 370 00:21:58,884 --> 00:21:59,818 (APPLAUSE) 500 PAGES. 371 00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:04,389 YOU GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH WITH THIS BOOK. 372 00:22:04,456 --> 00:22:07,259 THIS BOOK, THERE HAVE BEEN MANY BOOKS ABOUT THE PRESIDENT. 373 00:22:07,325 --> 00:22:11,096 BUT AS IT SAYS HERE ON THE BACK, THERE SAY BLUSH HERE THAT SAYS 374 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:14,166 THIS THE BOOK TRUMP FEARS MOST. 375 00:22:14,232 --> 00:22:19,337 WHY DO YOU THINK, WHY DO YOU THINK WHAT MAKE THIS BOOK 376 00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:21,239 DIFFERENT, MAGGIE HABERMAN. 377 00:22:21,306 --> 00:22:25,644 >> I WANTED TO PAINT A DEEPER PORTRAIT OF TRUMP. 378 00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:28,714 I WANTED TO GO BACK AND LOOK AT THE WORLD THAT MADE HIM, THE 379 00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:30,382 SPECIFICS OF HIS CHARACTER. 380 00:22:30,449 --> 00:22:32,851 AND THIS IS A CHARACTER STUDY AND DONALD TRUMP DOES NOT LIKE 381 00:22:32,918 --> 00:22:34,953 PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT HIS CHARACTER. 382 00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:42,761 HE PREFERS TWO VERSIONS OF A PORTRAIT OF HIM, AND ONE IS 383 00:22:42,828 --> 00:22:44,229 ADULATION, AND ONE IS ONE THAT BASICALLY MAKES HIM SOUND LIKE A 384 00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:49,634 STRONG MAN, A VERY CONFIDENT STRONGMAN, THIS IS NEITHER ONE 385 00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:50,902 OF THOSE SO HE DOESN'T LIKE THAT. 386 00:22:50,969 --> 00:22:55,574 >> SO IT IS NOT ADULATION, IS HE NOT A STRONG MAN, I'M SURE IT IS 387 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:57,876 A COMPLEX CHARACTERIZATION BECAUSE THERE ARE A LOT OF 388 00:22:57,943 --> 00:23:00,779 THREADS BEING PULLED HERE BUT HE SAID AND IT SAYS SO IN THE BOOK, 389 00:23:00,846 --> 00:23:04,950 I BELIEVE, IT SAYS HE POINTED AT YOU ONE POINT AND SAID SHE'S 390 00:23:05,016 --> 00:23:07,919 LIKE MY PSYCHIATRIST WHAT DID YOU THINK WHEN HE SAID THAT 391 00:23:07,986 --> 00:23:09,387 ABOUT YOU. 392 00:23:09,454 --> 00:23:12,424 >> THAT IT DIDN'T MEAN VERY MUCH IF ANYTHING IT WAS A MEANINGLESS 393 00:23:12,491 --> 00:23:16,161 LINE MEANT TO FLATTER, HE IS ALWAYS PLAYING TO WHATEVER 394 00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,597 AUDIENCE IS IN FRONT OF HIM. 395 00:23:18,663 --> 00:23:21,566 AND THE REALITIES IS THAT HE HAS SAID THAT ABOUT HIS TWITTER 396 00:23:21,633 --> 00:23:22,968 FEED, OTHER INTERVIEWS HE HAS GIVEN. 397 00:23:23,034 --> 00:23:24,870 HE TREATS EVERYONE-- . 398 00:23:24,936 --> 00:23:30,709 >> Stephen: A BUCKET OF CHICKEN, UH-HUH. 399 00:23:30,776 --> 00:23:34,546 >> HAVE YOU EVER EATEN WITH HIM, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN WITH HIM WHEN 400 00:23:34,613 --> 00:23:38,416 HE EATS, YOU HAVE SEEN HIM EATEN IN FRONT OF YOU. 401 00:23:38,483 --> 00:23:39,618 >> THIS IS ME SMILING. 402 00:23:39,684 --> 00:23:43,922 >> Stephen: OKAY, LET'S JUST SAY FOR A SECOND, I KNOW YOU ARE 403 00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:47,692 NOT HIS PSYCHIATRIST, AFTER DOING THIS CHARACTER STUDY, A 404 00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:50,829 DEEP ANALYSIS, IF YOU WERE, IF YOU WOULD, DOCTOR WHAT WOULD BE 405 00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:53,532 YOUR DIAGNOSIS? 406 00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:56,334 >> I INTENTIONALLY DIDN'T WRITE A BOOK OF TAKES. 407 00:23:56,401 --> 00:23:59,838 I WROTE A BOOK OF REPORTING ABOUT WHO HE IS. 408 00:23:59,905 --> 00:24:05,143 AND SO MY DIAGNOSIS I THINK IS IN THE BOOK AND I HOPE PEOPLE 409 00:24:05,210 --> 00:24:06,278 READ IT. 410 00:24:06,344 --> 00:24:09,981 >> Stephen: WELL, I FEEL VAGUELY SCOLDED FOR ASKING THAT 411 00:24:10,048 --> 00:24:10,649 QUESTION. 412 00:24:10,715 --> 00:24:12,284 I DID NOT DO TAKES, STEPHEN. 413 00:24:12,350 --> 00:24:14,452 >> NOT THAT, NO, NO, NO. 414 00:24:14,519 --> 00:24:16,188 >> Stephen: OKAY. 415 00:24:16,254 --> 00:24:19,324 >> JUST, BUT IT'S REPORTING AND I WANT PEOPLE TO READ THE 416 00:24:19,391 --> 00:24:20,458 REPORTING. 417 00:24:20,525 --> 00:24:20,792 >> Stephen: THERE IS AMAZING STUFF IN HERE, BOMBSHELLS IN 418 00:24:20,859 --> 00:24:22,194 THIS BOOK. 419 00:24:22,260 --> 00:24:25,297 ONE OF THE THINGS WE LEARNED HERE, REPORTING DID YOU FOR THE 420 00:24:25,363 --> 00:24:28,333 NEW YORK TIMES BUT ALSO IN THE BOOK, HE FLUSHES NOTES AND 421 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,501 GOVERNMENT DOCUMENTS DOWN THE TOILET. 422 00:24:29,568 --> 00:24:31,369 HE MISTOOK STAFFERS OF COLOR AS THE WAITHEERS AT THE WHITE 423 00:24:31,436 --> 00:24:32,604 HOUSE. 424 00:24:32,671 --> 00:24:35,440 HE INSULTED ANGELA MERKEL, CALLED HER THAT B. 425 00:24:35,507 --> 00:24:41,980 DID HE SAY THAT B OR DID HE SAY B-I-T-C-H. 426 00:24:42,047 --> 00:24:42,547 >> THE LATTER. 427 00:24:42,614 --> 00:24:43,548 >> Stephen: THE LATTER. 428 00:24:43,615 --> 00:24:45,083 >> AND HE DIDN'T SPELL IT. 429 00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:49,154 >> Stephen: HE DIDN'T SPHEL IT, COULD HE SPELL IT? 430 00:24:49,221 --> 00:24:49,621 OKAY. 431 00:24:49,688 --> 00:24:50,655 THE LIST GOES ON. 432 00:24:50,722 --> 00:24:53,625 WHAT DO YOU THINK IN THE BOOK UPSETS HIM THE MOST? 433 00:24:53,692 --> 00:24:55,760 >> THE FLUSHING DOCUMENTS DOWN THE TOILET, WAS ACTUALLY. 434 00:24:55,827 --> 00:24:56,895 >> Stephen: REVEALING THAT. 435 00:24:56,962 --> 00:24:58,763 >> I THINK THAT IS WHAT UPSET HIM THE MOST. 436 00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:02,734 HE HAD AN IMMEDIATE AND PRONOUNCED AND ANGRY REACTION TO 437 00:25:02,801 --> 00:25:05,670 THAT REPORTING WHEN I PUT IT OUT MANY MONTHS AGO. 438 00:25:05,737 --> 00:25:07,939 IT WAS REPORTING THAT HE ISSUED A STATEMENT T WAS A PHONE CALL 439 00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,374 TO THE WORLD. 440 00:25:09,441 --> 00:25:14,145 AND I THINK HIS EXACT STATEMENT WAS HIS QUESTION WAS WHO WOULD 441 00:25:14,212 --> 00:25:16,448 KNOW THAT, WHICH I THINK WAS ACTUALLY A LITERAL QUESTION THAT 442 00:25:16,514 --> 00:25:17,883 HE WAS ASKING. 443 00:25:17,949 --> 00:25:19,351 BUT HE ASKED IT OUT LOUD. 444 00:25:19,417 --> 00:25:21,753 BUT IT MADE HIM QUITE ANGRY. 445 00:25:21,820 --> 00:25:24,356 AND THEN HE SPENT SOME TIME ASKING SOME OF HIS AIDS WHAT DO 446 00:25:24,422 --> 00:25:25,657 YOU THINK OF THAT REPORTING. 447 00:25:25,724 --> 00:25:29,761 AND USUALLY THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHETHER 448 00:25:29,828 --> 00:25:32,130 SOMETHING IS DAMAGING TO HIM OR NOT OR HOW MUCH MORE COULD BE 449 00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:33,131 THERE. 450 00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:34,733 >> Stephen: Y'ALL HAVE PHOTOGRAPHS TOO, THERE ARE 451 00:25:34,799 --> 00:25:37,135 PHOTOGRAPHS OF THE STUFF TORN UP AT THE BOTTOM OF THE TOILET. 452 00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:40,305 >> THERE WERE, IN TWO DIFFERENT TOILETS IN TWO DIFFERENT 453 00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:42,474 COUNTRIES, ONE IN THIS ONE AND ONE OVERSEAS. 454 00:25:42,540 --> 00:25:43,341 >> Stephen: WOW. 455 00:25:43,408 --> 00:25:44,509 >> RIGHT. 456 00:25:44,576 --> 00:25:46,878 >> Stephen: SO SPREADING IT OUT, NOT TO CLOG UP ONE PIPE, 457 00:25:46,945 --> 00:25:48,947 VERY THOUGHTFUL BECAUSE HE IS VERY OBSESSED. 458 00:25:49,014 --> 00:25:52,617 REMEMBER HOW OBSESSED HE WAS WITH LOW FLOW TOILETS, NOW WE 459 00:25:52,684 --> 00:25:53,685 KNOW WHY. 460 00:25:53,752 --> 00:25:56,454 >> I THINK IT MAY HAVE ANSWERED SOME QUESTIONS, YES. 461 00:25:56,521 --> 00:26:00,926 >> Stephen: CAN YOU TALK ABOUT THE ROLL THE MEDIA PLAYED IN THE 462 00:26:00,992 --> 00:26:06,531 RISE OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT POLITICALLY, I MEAN. 463 00:26:06,598 --> 00:26:10,969 HOW MUCH OF THAT IN HIS SUCCESS IN POLITICS AND THE TRUST THAT 464 00:26:11,036 --> 00:26:14,739 PEOPLE HAD IN HIM HAS TO DO WITH THE SUK SEFTS APPRENTICE. 465 00:26:14,806 --> 00:26:15,874 >> AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT. 466 00:26:15,941 --> 00:26:19,144 I THINK WITHOUT THE APPRENTICE, THERE IS NO DONALD TRUMP 467 00:26:19,210 --> 00:26:20,345 PRESIDENCY. 468 00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:22,681 BECAUSE HE WAS BASICALLY PLAYING HIMSELF ON A TELEVISION SHOW 469 00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:25,784 THAT WAS PRODUCED BY A FAN OF THE ART OF THE DEAL. 470 00:26:25,850 --> 00:26:26,851 MARK BURNETT. 471 00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:28,653 AND YOU KNOW, IT WAS ALL STAGED. 472 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,957 IT WAS CREATING THE PEOPLE WHO WERE INVOLVED IN THE SHOW HAVE 473 00:26:32,023 --> 00:26:35,460 TALKED ABOUT HOW THEY WERE TRYING TO MAKE A SORT OF BROKEN 474 00:26:35,527 --> 00:26:39,531 DOWN ERODING EMPIRE LOOK MAGNIFICENT FOR THE SCREEN. 475 00:26:39,597 --> 00:26:40,432 AND-- . 476 00:26:40,498 --> 00:26:41,599 >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, LIKE HOW SO? 477 00:26:41,666 --> 00:26:44,903 >> THEY UILT A CONFERENCE ROOM ON A SET. 478 00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:46,438 >> Stephen: THAT IS NOT HIS CONFERENCE ROOM. 479 00:26:46,504 --> 00:26:47,706 >> NO. 480 00:26:47,772 --> 00:26:51,409 THEY, WHEN THEY WERE FILMING IN ONE OF THE CASINOS THEY REALIZED 481 00:26:51,476 --> 00:26:54,546 IT LOOKED A LITTLE DINGIE AND HAD SEEN BETTER DAYS. 482 00:26:54,612 --> 00:26:58,316 AND SOW WAS BASICALLY BUILT UP TO THIS, YOU KNOW, SITTING IN A 483 00:26:58,383 --> 00:27:02,320 LEATHER BACK CHAIR AND HE CAME UP WITH THIS CATCH LINE ARE YOU 484 00:27:02,387 --> 00:27:05,957 FIRED WHICH THE PRODUCERS OF THE SHOW REALIZED WAS GOLD AND HE 485 00:27:06,024 --> 00:27:09,294 WAS EMULATING GEORGE STEIN BRENNER, THE FORMER OWNER OF THE 486 00:27:09,361 --> 00:27:12,931 YANKEES WHEN HE DID IT BUT THIS WAS A PRESENTATION VIEWERS SAW. 487 00:27:12,998 --> 00:27:16,067 AND I DIDN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND THIS UNTIL, I WAS NOTES AN 488 00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:18,636 APPRENTICE WATCHER, BUT I DIDN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND THIS UNTIL I 489 00:27:18,703 --> 00:27:22,907 WAS IN IOWA AND INTERVIEWING VOTERS IN THE IOWA CAUCUS IN 490 00:27:22,974 --> 00:27:24,175 2016. 491 00:27:24,242 --> 00:27:26,144 AND I WHAT WAS ASKING PEOPLE AT ONE OF HIS FINAL RALLIES A VERY 492 00:27:26,211 --> 00:27:28,380 LEADING QUESTION WHICH WAS BASICALLY ARE YOU HERE BECAUSE 493 00:27:28,446 --> 00:27:31,383 THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU WILL SEE HIM, THE SPEK TACK SENLDING. 494 00:27:31,449 --> 00:27:34,152 AND I KEPT GETTING THE ANSWER NO, I'M CAUCUSING FOR HIM, AND 495 00:27:34,219 --> 00:27:37,655 ONE MAN LOOKED AT ME LIKE I HAD EIGHT HEADS WHEN I ASKED THE 496 00:27:37,722 --> 00:27:38,323 QUESTION. 497 00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:38,990 I'M CAUCUSING FOR HIM. 498 00:27:39,057 --> 00:27:40,558 AND I SAID WHY. 499 00:27:40,625 --> 00:27:43,795 AND HE SAID I WATCHED HIM RUN HIS BUSINESS, AND HE MEANT THE 500 00:27:43,862 --> 00:27:44,396 APPRENTICE. 501 00:27:44,462 --> 00:27:45,230 SO WITHOUT THE APPRENTICE. 502 00:27:45,296 --> 00:27:47,532 >> Stephen: WHICH WAS ALL AN ILLUSION. 503 00:27:47,599 --> 00:27:49,034 >> WHICH WAS TELEVISION, THE ART OF TELEVISION, YEAH. 504 00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:50,201 >> Stephen: WOW. 505 00:27:50,268 --> 00:27:52,971 AND WE KNOW THAT TELEVISION CAN BE AN ENORMOUS GOOD IN THE 506 00:27:53,038 --> 00:27:54,773 WORLD, WE KNOW THIS. 507 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:56,741 >> I MEAN NATURALLY, OF COURSE. 508 00:27:56,808 --> 00:28:00,478 >> Stephen: SO SPEAKING OF, SPEAKING OF THE HARM THE 509 00:28:00,545 --> 00:28:02,547 TELEVISION CAN DO IN MANY DIFFERENT WAYS, DO YOU THINK 510 00:28:02,614 --> 00:28:07,786 THAT IT IS POSSIBLE TO OR THE THE RIGHT THING TO DO. 511 00:28:07,852 --> 00:28:10,488 DO YOU THINK IT IS POSSIBLE TO IGNORE A FORMER PRESIDENT 512 00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:13,258 WITHOUT DOESN'T WANT TO BE IGNORED? 513 00:28:13,324 --> 00:28:14,526 BECAUSE YOU CAN IGNORE GEORGE W. 514 00:28:14,592 --> 00:28:15,727 BUSH. 515 00:28:15,794 --> 00:28:17,962 HE GOES AND PAINTS, YOU KNOW, AND FISHES AND STUFF LIKE THAT 516 00:28:18,029 --> 00:28:19,831 LET HIM DO THAT. 517 00:28:19,898 --> 00:28:20,932 BUT WE STRUGGLE WITH THAT HERE. 518 00:28:20,999 --> 00:28:24,502 IS THAT YOU KNOW, I DON'T DECIDE WHAT THE STORIES ARE. 519 00:28:24,569 --> 00:28:25,804 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT. 520 00:28:25,870 --> 00:28:27,105 AND HE JUST WON'T GO AWAY. 521 00:28:27,172 --> 00:28:28,306 CAN HE BE IGNORED? 522 00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:32,143 >> AT THIS POINT, NO, I DON'T THINK YOU CAN IGNORE A FORMER 523 00:28:32,210 --> 00:28:33,344 PRESIDENT. 524 00:28:33,411 --> 00:28:34,779 ONE OF THE THIPGS THAT I FOUND IN THE COURSE OF THE REPORTING 525 00:28:34,846 --> 00:28:38,783 AND THE WRITING WAS THE REAL ISSUE, THE SIGNIFICANT CRITICISM 526 00:28:38,850 --> 00:28:42,454 OF MEDIA RELATES TO THE 70S, 8 0S, 9 0S. 527 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,557 ALL OF THESE NEW STORIES AS HE IS MYTH MAKING ABOUT HIMSELF, 528 00:28:45,623 --> 00:28:47,892 DESCRIBING HIMSELF AS BIGGER THAN HE IS. 529 00:28:47,959 --> 00:28:51,129 DESCRIBING HIMSELF AS COMING BACK FROM BANKRUPTCIES, WHEN HE 530 00:28:51,196 --> 00:28:52,263 REALLY HADN'T YET. 531 00:28:52,330 --> 00:28:55,900 AND THEN HE GETS TO THE APPRENTICE AND THAT CARRIES HIM 532 00:28:55,967 --> 00:28:56,968 THREW. 533 00:28:57,035 --> 00:28:58,736 BY ITS TIME HE BECAME A CANDIDATE FOR THE REASONS HE 534 00:28:58,803 --> 00:29:02,273 SAID, A LOT OF VOTERS IN THE REPUBLICAN BASE BELIEVED HE WAS 535 00:29:02,340 --> 00:29:04,676 THIS HYPERSUCCESSFUL TYCOON. 536 00:29:04,742 --> 00:29:05,910 BUT THEN HE HAD A REAL THING. 537 00:29:05,977 --> 00:29:11,015 HE HAD A SOLID BASE OF VOTERS BEHIND HIM WHO WOULDN'T BELIEVE 538 00:29:11,082 --> 00:29:14,886 ANYTHING THEY WERE TOLD OTHERWISE ABOUT HIM. 539 00:29:14,953 --> 00:29:16,121 AND HE HAS THEM STILL. 540 00:29:16,187 --> 00:29:19,424 NOW HE DOESN'T HAVE THE WHOLE REPUBLICAN PARTY RIGHT NOW THERE 541 00:29:19,491 --> 00:29:21,893 ARE ASPECTS OF THE PARTY THAT ARE NOT WITH HIM BUT I THINK IF 542 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,429 HE IS THE NOMINEE AGAIN, THEY WILL BE WITH HIM. 543 00:29:24,496 --> 00:29:26,731 I DON'T THINK IT IS RESPONSIBLE TO IGNORE T I DO THINK IT IS 544 00:29:26,798 --> 00:29:28,766 RESPONSIBLE TO CONTEXTUALIZE IT. 545 00:29:28,833 --> 00:29:31,803 >> YOU WERE ONE OF THE FIRST PERSON TAKEN SERIOUSLY, MAYBE 546 00:29:31,870 --> 00:29:34,105 ITS FIRST MAJOR REPORT TORE TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY. 547 00:29:34,172 --> 00:29:38,076 DO YOU FEEL LIKE A CASSANDRA WHEN WERE DOING THIS, LIKE NO, 548 00:29:38,143 --> 00:29:41,045 THIS GUY IS NOT A JOKE, HE IS REAL. 549 00:29:41,112 --> 00:29:43,515 >> I REMEMBER IN 2011 WRITING A LOT AS HE WAS RUNNING FOR 550 00:29:43,581 --> 00:29:45,817 PRESIDENT, SORT OF, HE HADN'T ACTUALLY ANNOUNCED. 551 00:29:45,884 --> 00:29:48,920 >> Stephen: IT WAS MOSTLY THE OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE THING IS 552 00:29:48,987 --> 00:29:52,123 WHAT HE WAS USING AS HIS MAGIC CARPET. 553 00:29:52,190 --> 00:29:55,827 >> HE WAS USING THE BIRTHER LIE TO ELEVATE HIMSELF BECAUSE HE 554 00:29:55,894 --> 00:29:57,028 SAW IT WORKED. 555 00:29:57,095 --> 00:30:00,231 HE WAS ON IT EARLIER THAN WE REALIZED. HE WAS TALKING ABOUT 556 00:30:00,298 --> 00:30:03,368 IT BEHIND THE SCENES BEFORE HE STARTED TALKING ABOUT IT IN 557 00:30:03,434 --> 00:30:04,569 INTERVIEWS. 558 00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:07,338 AND HE WAS USING IT-- IT WAS INCREDIBLY CYNICAL POLITICS AND 559 00:30:07,405 --> 00:30:08,473 HE REFUSED TO GET OFF OF IT. 560 00:30:08,540 --> 00:30:10,942 WE ALL THOUGHT WE WERE FACT CHECKING HIM AND YET WE WERE 561 00:30:11,009 --> 00:30:14,312 JUST SPREADING IT FURTHER WHICH IS SOMETHING ELSE WE HAVE TO 562 00:30:14,379 --> 00:30:15,980 THINK ABOUT IN TERMS OF HOW WE DO OUR JOBS. 563 00:30:16,047 --> 00:30:18,683 >> Stephen: SO IF YOU SHOULDN'T IGNORE HIM AND WHAT HE 564 00:30:18,750 --> 00:30:21,853 IS SAYING ARE LYING BUT BY CHECKING THE LIES YOU REPEAT THE 565 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,522 LIES AND DRIVE THEM INTO PEOPLE'S HEADS SO THEY FORGET 566 00:30:24,589 --> 00:30:28,259 THEY ARE LIES AND ONLY REMEMBER THE ACCUSATIONS, WHAT IS LEFT? 567 00:30:28,326 --> 00:30:30,161 >> AT THIS POINT WE CAN'T IGNORE HIM. 568 00:30:30,228 --> 00:30:33,231 I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE DONE THINGS DIFFERENTLY IN 2011. 569 00:30:33,298 --> 00:30:36,234 EVEN THOUGH I THINK THE MEDIA WAS CORRECT FOR REBUTTING THIS. 570 00:30:36,301 --> 00:30:38,736 I JUST DON'T THINK WE THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT THE EFFECTS WAS, 571 00:30:38,803 --> 00:30:42,473 BECAUSE HE EXISTS IN THESE TEN MINUTE INCREMENTS OF TIME. 572 00:30:42,540 --> 00:30:44,175 BUT WE EXIST IN 24 HOURS. 573 00:30:44,242 --> 00:30:45,944 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. 574 00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:49,414 BUT WHEN I COME BACK, I WILL ASK MAGGIE ABOUT THE MOMENT SHE 575 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:52,217 SUSPECTED HE MIGHT HAVE TAKEN MORE DOCUMENTSES THAN HE SHOULD 576 00:30:52,283 --> 00:30:53,384 HAVE FROM THE WHITE HOUSE. 577 00:30:53,451 --> 00:30:54,686 STICK AROUND. 578 00:31:02,994 --> 00:31:04,095 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK HERE WITH MAGGIE 579 00:31:04,162 --> 00:31:06,364 HABERMAN OF "THE NEW YORK TIMES" AND AUTHOR OF THE NEW BOOK 580 00:31:06,431 --> 00:31:09,934 "CONFIDENCE MAN." 581 00:31:10,001 --> 00:31:14,405 I KNOW YOU ARE NO PROPHET, YOU ARE A JOURNALIST, I'M NOT ASKING 582 00:31:14,472 --> 00:31:19,644 YOU TO ERAC-- DO YOU THINK WILL ARE YOU IN 2024. 583 00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:23,181 >> I THINK HE HAS BACKED HIMSELF INTO A CORNER WHERE I THINK HE 584 00:31:23,248 --> 00:31:23,748 HAS TO. 585 00:31:23,815 --> 00:31:25,149 >> Stephen: WHAT CORPER? 586 00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:26,951 >> THE CORNER IS HE WANTS ATTENTION, HE WANTS TO FUND 587 00:31:27,018 --> 00:31:28,019 RAISE AND HE'S UNDER INVESTIGATION. 588 00:31:28,086 --> 00:31:30,989 AND HE WANTS TO BE ABLE TO SAY THE INVESTIGATIONS ARE 589 00:31:31,055 --> 00:31:34,058 WITCH-HUNTS AND HE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THE CONSTITUTIONAL ARMOR 590 00:31:34,125 --> 00:31:35,593 THE PRESIDENCY AFFORDS HIM BACK. 591 00:31:35,660 --> 00:31:37,895 SO I DON'T THINK HIS HEAT IS PARTICULARLY IN IT. 592 00:31:37,962 --> 00:31:42,333 HE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ENJOYING HIMSELF WITH POLITICS THE WAY HE 593 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:43,501 ONCE DID. 594 00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:45,703 MAYBE THAT WILL COME AGAIN BUT DO I THINK AT THE MOMENT, I 595 00:31:45,770 --> 00:31:46,904 THINK WILL RUN. 596 00:31:46,971 --> 00:31:49,040 IT DOESN'T MEAN WILL STAY IN THE WHOLE TIME BUT I DO THINK HE 597 00:31:49,107 --> 00:31:50,174 WILL ANNOUNCE A CANDIDACY. 598 00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:52,610 >> Stephen: YOU IN YOUR REPORTING IN HERE, YOU SAY THAT 599 00:31:52,677 --> 00:31:56,114 THERE IS A MOMENTS WHERE HE SORT OF ADMITS THAT HE TOOK 600 00:31:56,180 --> 00:31:57,115 DOCUMENTSES HE SHOULDN'T HAVE. 601 00:31:57,181 --> 00:31:59,183 FROM THE WHITE HOUSE. 602 00:31:59,250 --> 00:32:01,352 CAN YOU RECOUNT THAT MOMENT FOR US. 603 00:32:01,419 --> 00:32:03,621 >> IT WAS A STRANGE AND VERY VAGUE COMMENT. 604 00:32:03,688 --> 00:32:07,792 I ASKED HIM ON A LARK IF HE HAD TAKEN DOCUMENTS FROM THE WHITE 605 00:32:07,859 --> 00:32:08,493 HOUSE. 606 00:32:08,559 --> 00:32:09,694 >> Stephen: YOU SAID DOCUMENTS. 607 00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:16,000 >> NO, I SAID MOMENTO DOCUMENTS THAT WAS THE-- HE WOULD WAVE 608 00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:19,470 AROUND THE DOCUMENTS FROM KIM JUNG-UN. 609 00:32:19,537 --> 00:32:21,639 >> Stephen: SURE, BEAUTIFUL LETTERS, LOVE LETTERS. 610 00:32:21,706 --> 00:32:23,808 >> HE WOULD LITERALLY DO THIS. 611 00:32:23,875 --> 00:32:26,911 AND SO I ASKED HIM, DID YOU TAKE ANYTHING, AND HE SAID NOTHING OF 612 00:32:26,978 --> 00:32:28,946 GREAT URGENCY, NO. 613 00:32:29,013 --> 00:32:31,649 NOW HI NO WAY OF KNOWING THAT THAT WASN'T THE CASE AT THE 614 00:32:31,716 --> 00:32:32,650 TIME. 615 00:32:32,717 --> 00:32:35,153 THEN HE VOLUNTEERED SOMETHING ABOUT THE LETTERS. 616 00:32:35,219 --> 00:32:37,522 THE KJU LETTERS AND SAID SOMETHING LIKE WE HAVE THESE 617 00:32:37,588 --> 00:32:39,957 GREAT LETTERS AND I SAID OH, YOU TOOK THOSE WITH YOU. 618 00:32:40,024 --> 00:32:44,362 AND REGISTERING MY SURPRISE HE KEPT TALKING LIKE HE DIDN'T WANT 619 00:32:44,429 --> 00:32:46,864 TO ANSWER THE QUESTION AND I SAID HUH, OR WOW OR SOMETHING 620 00:32:46,931 --> 00:32:49,801 AND HE REGISTERED MY SURPRISE AND SAID NO, NO, THOSE ARE IN 621 00:32:49,867 --> 00:32:53,137 THE ARCHIVES BUT WE HAVE GREAT THINGS. 622 00:32:53,204 --> 00:32:53,738 THEY WEREN'T IN THE ARCHIVES. 623 00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:56,174 WE-- THEY WERE FOUND. 624 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,409 >> THEY-- RIGHT, AND IT TURNED OUT THE ARCHIVES HAD BEEN TRYING 625 00:32:58,476 --> 00:33:01,312 TO GET THEM BACK AND HUGE KUDOS TO "THE WASHINGTON POST" FOR 626 00:33:01,379 --> 00:33:02,146 THEIR REPORTING ON THIS. 627 00:33:02,213 --> 00:33:05,116 >> Stephen: AND KUDOS TO THE ARCHIVES. 628 00:33:05,183 --> 00:33:10,121 >> THE LIBRARIANS WHO REALLY HAD BEEN A THRORN IN HIS SIDE FOR 629 00:33:10,188 --> 00:33:12,890 THE LAST 18 MONTH TRYING TO GET GOVERNMENT PROPERTY BACK THAT 630 00:33:12,957 --> 00:33:14,692 DOESN'T BELONG TO HIM. 631 00:33:14,759 --> 00:33:15,893 BUT-- . 632 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:17,328 >> Stephen: ON A CERTAIN LEVEL WE ALL WISH WE WERE LIBRARIANS 633 00:33:17,395 --> 00:33:24,535 SO WE COULD JUST GO-- SHHHHH. 634 00:33:24,602 --> 00:33:26,037 >> RIGHT? 635 00:33:26,104 --> 00:33:27,572 MAGGIE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. 636 00:33:27,638 --> 00:33:32,076 CONFIDENCE MAN IS AVAILABLE VOW, IT'S MAGGIE HABERMAN, EVERYBODY. 637 00:33:32,143 --> 00:33:36,714 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A SPECIAL CARTOON REPORT FROM 638 00:33:36,781 --> 00:33:38,783 TUNING OUT THE NEWS, STICK AROUND. 639 00:33:49,026 --> 00:33:51,529 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. 640 00:33:51,596 --> 00:33:54,132 WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW. 641 00:33:54,198 --> 00:33:56,968 IT SEEMS LIKE THE WALLS ARE STARTING TO CLOSE IN ON FORMER 642 00:33:57,034 --> 00:33:59,904 POTUS BLOATUS. 643 00:33:59,971 --> 00:34:03,174 THE JAN 6th COMMITTEE CONTINUES TO GATHERDAMNING EVIDENCE, THE 644 00:34:03,241 --> 00:34:07,145 JUSTICE DEPARTMENT IS CONTINUING THEIR INVESTIGATION 645 00:34:07,211 --> 00:34:10,415 OF THE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS HE WAS HOARDING DOWN IN MAR A LAGO, 646 00:34:10,481 --> 00:34:13,518 GUARDED NO DOUBT BY HIS CRACK SECURITY TEAM OF CROQUET PLAYING 647 00:34:13,584 --> 00:34:17,155 ORTHODONTISTS WHO ARE ACTUALLY CHINESE SPIES. 648 00:34:17,221 --> 00:34:22,026 AND RECENTLY NEW YORK ATTORNEY GENERAL LETITIA JAMES FILED 649 00:34:22,093 --> 00:34:25,363 A SUIT TO KEEP HIM FROM DOING BUSINESS IN NEWYORK. 650 00:34:25,430 --> 00:34:27,799 I'D SAY THAT'S ENOUGH TO DRIVE HIS LAWYER TO DRINK, BUT I'M 651 00:34:27,865 --> 00:34:33,371 PRETTY SURE THAT SHIP HAS SAILED. 652 00:34:33,438 --> 00:34:38,776 TO FIND OUT HOW THE FORMER PRESIDENT IS DEALING WITH ALL OF 653 00:34:38,843 --> 00:34:41,212 THIS, I WANTED TO SEND A REPORTER TO MAR-A-LAGO. 654 00:34:41,279 --> 00:34:43,147 BUT FORCING A JOURNALIST TO SPEND TIME NEAR THE FORMER 655 00:34:43,214 --> 00:34:45,483 PRESIDENT SEEMS INHUMANE. 656 00:34:45,550 --> 00:34:50,021 FORTUNATELY, I KNOW SOME REPORTERS WHO AREN'T HUMAN-- 657 00:34:50,087 --> 00:34:53,224 THE TEAM AT COMEDY CENTRAL'S TOONING OUT THE NEWS. 658 00:34:53,291 --> 00:34:56,394 THEIR NEW SEASON STARTS TOMORROW AFTER "THE DAILY SHOW" ON 659 00:34:56,461 --> 00:35:01,065 ANOTHER NETWORK, WHICH IS COMEDY CENTRAL. 660 00:35:01,132 --> 00:35:05,536 SO JOINING US FROM FLORIDA, THE HOST OF THE CONSERVATIVE 661 00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:09,040 SHOUT-TAINMENT SHOW "HOT TAKE," TYLER TEMPLETON. 662 00:35:09,106 --> 00:35:13,644 THANK YOU FOR JOINING US, TYLER. 663 00:35:13,711 --> 00:35:15,046 >> GREAT TO BE HERE, STEPHEN. 664 00:35:15,112 --> 00:35:17,248 >> Stephen: TYLER T IS CERTAINLY TRUE YOU AN I DON'T 665 00:35:17,315 --> 00:35:18,883 SEE EYE-TO-EYE ON EVERY ISSUE. 666 00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:23,020 YOU ARE A STAUNCH SPORPTER OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT. 667 00:35:23,087 --> 00:35:24,021 >> HOW DARE YOU. 668 00:35:24,088 --> 00:35:25,790 I DO NOT SUPPORT FORMER PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA. 669 00:35:25,857 --> 00:35:28,759 I SUPPORT THE CURRENT PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP, OR ARE YOU SO 670 00:35:28,826 --> 00:35:31,929 BLINDED BY YOUR IDEOLOGY THAT YOU CAN'T ACCEPT THAT HE IS 671 00:35:31,996 --> 00:35:34,832 PRESIDENT AND 50 FEET TALL? 672 00:35:34,899 --> 00:35:40,104 >> Stephen: WELL, YOU CANNOT DENY THE FORMER PRESIDENT IS 673 00:35:40,171 --> 00:35:42,807 UNDER INVESTIGATION ON MULTIPLE FRONTS. 674 00:35:42,874 --> 00:35:44,775 YOU'RE DOWN THERE ON THE GROUND. 675 00:35:44,842 --> 00:35:48,913 DO YOU HAVE A SENSE OF THE PANIC INSIDE MAR-A-LAGO? 676 00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:49,547 >> PANIC? 677 00:35:49,614 --> 00:35:51,015 QUITE THE OPPOSITE, STEPHEN. 678 00:35:51,082 --> 00:35:53,851 EVERYONE IN TRUMP WORLD IS DOING GREAT. 679 00:35:53,918 --> 00:35:56,387 RIGHT NOW THEY'RE ACTUALLY HAVING A ROCKING PARTY HERE 680 00:35:56,454 --> 00:36:01,759 WHERE THE THEME IS NERVOUSLY PACING AND MUTTERING, I CAN'T GO 681 00:36:01,826 --> 00:36:02,793 TO JAIL. 682 00:36:02,860 --> 00:36:05,596 >> Stephen: SOUNDS FUN BUT SHOULDN'T HE BE A LITTLE 683 00:36:05,663 --> 00:36:06,764 WORRIED? 684 00:36:06,831 --> 00:36:09,467 HOW WILL HE POSSIBLY DEFEND HIMSELF WHEN HE GOT CAUGHT RED 685 00:36:09,534 --> 00:36:12,570 HANDED WITH CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS STORED IN A COMPLETELY 686 00:36:12,637 --> 00:36:13,938 UNPROTECTED SNVIRONMENT. 687 00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:17,174 >> DON'T GET HYSTERICAL, STEPHEN. 688 00:36:17,241 --> 00:36:20,411 THOSE DOCUMENTS WERE FORTIFIED BEHIND A STATE-OF-THE-ART ULTRA 689 00:36:20,478 --> 00:36:21,646 SECURE DOOR NOBODY. 690 00:36:21,712 --> 00:36:25,349 AND EVEN IF GUESTS LOCATED THE NOBODY, HOW WOULD THEY KNOW 691 00:36:25,416 --> 00:36:26,984 WHICH WAY TO TURN IT. 692 00:36:27,051 --> 00:36:29,921 >> Stephen: NOW WITH AUGUST THESE PROBLEMS MOUNTING, DO YOU 693 00:36:29,987 --> 00:36:33,824 THINK THE FORMER PRESIDENT CAN MAKE A RUN IN 20241234 IT SEEMS 694 00:36:33,891 --> 00:36:36,827 LIKE HE HAS COMPETITION THERE IN FLORIDA FROM GOVERNOR RON 695 00:36:36,894 --> 00:36:38,029 DESANTIS. 696 00:36:38,095 --> 00:36:40,865 >> OH MY GOD, DON'T MAKE ME PICK BETWEEN TRUMP AND DESANTIS. 697 00:36:40,932 --> 00:36:44,335 WHY CAN'T WE HAVE TWO PRESIDENTS? WE HAD TWO 698 00:36:44,402 --> 00:36:45,469 BACHELORETTES. 699 00:36:45,536 --> 00:36:49,140 YES, I WATCHED GABBY AND RACHEL'S ENTIRE JOURNEY T WAS ON 700 00:36:49,206 --> 00:36:50,741 TV AT THE GYM. 701 00:36:50,808 --> 00:36:51,943 I SWEAR. 702 00:36:52,009 --> 00:36:56,147 OUT, SON OF A BITCH, TYLER, DID YOU JUST GET HIT IN THE HEAD 703 00:36:56,213 --> 00:36:59,183 WITH A CROQUET BALL? 704 00:36:59,250 --> 00:36:59,917 >> HELLO. 705 00:36:59,984 --> 00:37:00,685 >> Stephen: TYLER, ARE YOU THERE? 706 00:37:00,751 --> 00:37:02,119 >> YEAH, HOW IS IT GOING, MAN. 707 00:37:02,186 --> 00:37:03,654 >> Stephen: IT'S GOING FINE, TYLER. 708 00:37:03,721 --> 00:37:06,524 WE'RE TRYING TO GET A REPORT FROM MAR-A-LAGO. 709 00:37:06,591 --> 00:37:07,491 >> THAT'S AWESOME. 710 00:37:07,558 --> 00:37:12,063 WHERE ARE WE TAKING IT FROM? 711 00:37:12,129 --> 00:37:14,732 >> Stephen: WE'RE GOING TO YOU, TYLER. 712 00:37:14,799 --> 00:37:19,103 >> HAVE YOU BEEN INTO MAR-A-LAGO TO SEE WHAT IS GOING ON IN 713 00:37:19,170 --> 00:37:22,940 THERE? 714 00:37:23,007 --> 00:37:24,108 >> YES. 715 00:37:24,175 --> 00:37:26,677 >> Stephen: AND DO YOU WANT TO TELL US WHAT IS HAPPENING IN 716 00:37:26,744 --> 00:37:29,280 THERE OR IS THERE SOME REASON YOU DON'T WANT TO ACTUALLY 717 00:37:29,347 --> 00:37:31,482 INFORM US AS TO WHAT IS HAPPENING IN MAR-A-LAGO. 718 00:37:31,549 --> 00:37:34,018 >> WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW. 719 00:37:34,085 --> 00:37:36,520 >> Stephen: YES, YOU'RE A REPORTER. 720 00:37:36,587 --> 00:37:40,625 I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING. 721 00:37:40,691 --> 00:37:48,432 >> WELL, THEY'VE UNJUSTLY TAKEN STUFF. 722 00:37:48,499 --> 00:37:51,502 >> Stephen: YEAH, FILES THAT SAY CLASSIFIED AND TOP SECRET ON 723 00:37:51,569 --> 00:37:52,370 IT. 724 00:37:52,436 --> 00:37:53,571 THAT'S NOT UNJUSTLY. 725 00:37:53,638 --> 00:37:57,174 IT'S ITS JUSTICE DEPARTMENTS THAT DID IT THAT IS THE JUSTICE. 726 00:37:57,241 --> 00:37:59,644 >> WELL, HOW WOULD YOU-- SO HOLD ON A SECOND. 727 00:37:59,710 --> 00:38:02,079 ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU KNOW IT SAYS CLASSIFIED AND JUSTIFIED 728 00:38:02,146 --> 00:38:03,381 ON IT. 729 00:38:03,447 --> 00:38:05,816 THAT MUST MEAN THAT YOU ARE BEHIND THIS SOME HOW. 730 00:38:05,883 --> 00:38:09,153 >> Stephen: NO, I SAW PHOTOGRAPHS OF THE JUTION TIS 731 00:38:09,220 --> 00:38:10,955 DEPARTMENT PUT OUT. 732 00:38:11,022 --> 00:38:20,297 >> OH YEAH, WHERE WAS THAT, INSIDE OF JOE BIDEN'S ROOM? 733 00:38:20,364 --> 00:38:21,432 DON'T LAUGH. 734 00:38:21,499 --> 00:38:24,268 >> Stephen: I THINK, WE'RE NOT LAUGHING TYLER, WE'RE NOT 735 00:38:24,335 --> 00:38:27,104 LAUGHING AT YOU, WE'RE LAUGHING WITH YOU, TYLER. 736 00:38:27,171 --> 00:38:30,441 I THINK WE'RE HAVING SATELLITE ISSUES HERE WITH YOU TYLER, SOME 737 00:38:30,508 --> 00:38:33,177 OF YOUR WORDS DON'T HAVE MEANINGS IN THEM. 738 00:38:33,244 --> 00:38:34,378 >> HOLD N, STEPHEN. 739 00:38:34,445 --> 00:38:38,115 I HAVE JUST RECEIVED EXCLUSIVE BREAKING NEWS THAT OUR SERIES 740 00:38:38,182 --> 00:38:41,952 TOONING OUT THE NEWS WILL APPEAR TOMORROW NIGHT ON COMEDY CENTRAL 741 00:38:42,019 --> 00:38:42,987 RIGHT AFTER THE DAILY SHOW. 742 00:38:43,054 --> 00:38:45,389 >> Stephen: THAT'S NOT BREAKING NEWS, TYLER, I SAID 743 00:38:45,456 --> 00:38:46,590 THAT EARLIER. 744 00:38:46,657 --> 00:38:49,427 >> GREAT, SOUNDS LIKE WE HAVE A SECOND SOURCE CONFIRMING MY 745 00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:52,530 REPORT AND TUNING OUT THE NEWS WILL DELIVER EVEN MORE UP TO THE 746 00:38:52,596 --> 00:38:55,900 MINUTE CARTOON COVERAGE OF THE BIGGEST STORIES. 747 00:38:55,966 --> 00:39:00,071 JUST TAKE A LOOK OF THIS CLIP OF MY COLLEAGUE LIBERAL WARRIOR 748 00:39:00,137 --> 00:39:02,440 KIELY WEAVER SITTING DOWN WITH SECRETARY PETE BUTTIGIEG. 749 00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:06,043 >> THERE IS ONE THING WE KNOW FOR SURE, IT'S GREAT THAT JOE 750 00:39:06,110 --> 00:39:09,180 BIDEN'S APPROVAL RATING IS ON THE RISE AND THERE IS NO NEED 751 00:39:09,246 --> 00:39:14,885 FOR THE PARTY IN TO 24 TO GO BEHIND A YOUNG GAY TRANSVIBRANT 752 00:39:14,952 --> 00:39:16,087 >> VE A GREAT PRESIDENT. 753 00:39:16,153 --> 00:39:19,423 >> WHERE WOULD WE FIND SOMEONE LIKE THAT, LIKE THAT PERSON I 754 00:39:19,490 --> 00:39:21,158 MENTIONED, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. 755 00:39:21,225 --> 00:39:24,161 EVEN IF WE DID FIND THEM WOULD THEY HAVE THE COURAGE TO SEIZE 756 00:39:24,228 --> 00:39:25,863 THIS SINGULAR MOMENT IN HISTORY. 757 00:39:25,930 --> 00:39:28,799 >> OR JUST A GREAT DAY JOB THEY WANT TO CONTINUE DOING. 758 00:39:28,866 --> 00:39:33,304 >> LUCKILY WE WON'T HAVE TO DO IT, WE ARE NOT IN AN IRONIC 759 00:39:33,370 --> 00:39:36,474 DIVINE HELL WHERE THE BETTER WE DO AT OUR JOB THE BET TER IS FOR 760 00:39:36,540 --> 00:39:42,446 OUR BOSS AND THE FURTHER WE GET FOR FULFILLS OUR DES TIN EYE. 761 00:39:42,513 --> 00:39:45,916 EXACTLY, ON THE EXACT SAME PAGE, BESTIE. 762 00:39:45,983 --> 00:39:52,923 >> Stephen: THANK YOU, CHECK OUT CHECK OUT TOONING OUT THE 763 00:39:52,990 --> 00:39:54,992 NEWS STARTING TOMORROW ON COMEDY STRAVMENT WE'LL ROOB BE RIGHT 764 00:40:14,011 --> 00:40:16,213 >> Stephen: OH HEY, EVERYBODY, THAT'S IT FOR THE LATE SHOW, 765 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:20,451 TUNE IN TOMORROW, MY GUEST WILL BE DR. 766 00:40:20,518 --> 00:40:22,019 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE DR. ANTHONY FAUCI AND 767 00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:23,220 FORMER WHITE HOUSE SPEECHWRITER CODY KEENAN. 768 00:40:23,287 --> 00:40:24,355 STICK AROUND FOR JAMES CORDEN. 769 00:40:24,421 --> 00:40:25,422 GOOD NIGHT!