>> AT A RECENT RALLY, GEORGIA REPRESENTATIVE MARJORIE TAYLOR
GREENE ACCUSED TRANSPORTATION SECRETARY PETE BUTTIGIEG OF
WEAKENING THE MANLINESS OF AMERICAN CARS.
>> DEMOCRATS, LIKE PETE BUTTIGIEG, WANT TO EMASCULATE
THE WAY WE DRIVE AND FORCE ALL OF YOU TO RELY ON ELECTRIC
VEHICLES.
>> I LITERALLY DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS.
I MEAN, MY SENSE OF MANHOOD IS NOT CONNECTED TO WHETHER MY
VEHICLE IS FUELED BY GASOLINE OR WHETHER IT'S FUELED BY
ELECTRICITY.
>> ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A CAR THAT WON'T EMACULATE YOU, A CAR
THAT LETS PEOPLE KNOW YOU'RE 100% DUDE AND NOT SOME
NAMBY-PAMBY WHO IS TRYING TO SAVE THE EARTH?
INTRODUCING THE PONTIAC SCHVANTZ, THE FIRST
GASOLINE-POWERED CAR SHAPED LIKE YOUR MANHOOD.
IT ACCELERATES 0 TO 60 IN 3.5 SECONDS, AND THEN TAKES A NAP.
AND THE PONTIAC SCHVANTZ IS LOADED WITH MASCULINE OPTIONS
LIKE NO SEAT BELTS, SO YOU CAN RIDE IT WITHOUT PROTECTION.
AND NO REVERSE GEAR, BECAUSE THIS BAD BOY NEVER PULLS OUT.
SO PICK UP THE CAR ENDORSED BY MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE, THE
PONTIAC SCHVANTZ.
WARNING: CAR MAY SHRINK IN WINTER.
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT: PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES:
DR. ANTHONY FAUCI AND CODY KEENAN
FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW BAND.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HAPPY WEDNESDAY.
EXACTLY RIGHT.
HEY, EVERYBODY!
PLEASE SIT DOWN, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU, THANKS.
WELCOME, WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, IN HERE OUT THERE, ALL AROUND
THE WORLD, MR. AND MRS. AMERICA, AND ALL THE SHIPS AT SEA, TO
"THE LATE SHOW."
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
RIGHT NOW THE BIG STORY-- ( APPLAUSE )
THE BIG STORY CONTINUES TO BE THE EXTRAORDINARY DAMAGE WREAKED
ON FLORIDA BY HURRICANE IAN.
IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG ROAD BACK FOR THESE PEOPLE.
IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A WAY TO HELP, WE'VE GOT A LIST OF
CHARITIES PINNED TO OUR TWITTER ACCOUNT @COLBERTLATESHOW.
PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY.
WE HOPE THE STATE OF FLORIDA GETS BACK TO NORMAL SOON,
BECAUSE, IN FLORIDA, NORMAL IS STILL VERY STRANGE, WHICH IS
WHY WE ENJOY MAKING SO MANY JOKES ABOUT THAT STATE.
IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO GET THESE PEOPLE FOOD, WATER, AND SHELTER,
WHATEVER THEY NEED TO GET BACK ON THEIR FEET.
NOT ONLY BECAUSE IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO, BUT BECAUSE MY
GRAPHICS TEAM HAS A MOCKUP OF AN ALLIGATOR DOING METH ON A JET
SKI JUST BURNING A HOLE IN THEIR POCKET.
( LAUGHTER ) TODAY, PRESIDENT BIDEN FLEW DOWN
TO FLORIDA AND MET WITH FLORIDA GOVERNOR AND MAN WHO LEARNED HOW
TO STAND FROM A MEN'S ROOM SIGN ( BOOING )
RON DeSANTIS.
GOVERNOR DeSANTIS HAS BEEN TOURING DAMAGED AREAS TO LET
RESIDENTS KNOW THEY'RE NOT FORGOTTEN.
AND THE ONE THING FEW WILL EVER FORGET IS THE WHITE KNEE-HIGH
BOOTS HE WAS SPORTING.
THE LOOK IS LESS "GOVERNOR ON THE GO" AND MORE "GOVERNOR OF
THE GO-GOs."
PRESIDENT BIDEN AND GOVERNOR DeSANTIS PUT ASIDE THEIR
POLITICS AND APPEARED TOGETHER TO LET FLORIDIANS KNOW THAT HELP
IS ON THE WAY.
AND THE GOVERNOR KICKED THINGS OFF BY MAKING THE EXTENT OF THE
DAMAGE VERY CLEAR: >> THESE STORMS COME.
THEY'RE ON THE HORIZON.
YOU KIND OF PROJECT, "HEY, IT COULD BE REALLY BAD."
OFTENTIMES, IT DOESN'T NECESSARILY GET TO THAT LEVEL.
WELL, THIS WAS THE-- THIS WAS THE FULL MONTY.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: SOME MAY QUESTION
WHETHER A COMEDY ABOUT FULLY NUDE MALE STRIPPERS IS THE MOST
APPROPRIATE WAY TO REFER TO A NATURAL DISASTER.
BUT KEEP IN MIND, ANY TIME YOU LOOK AT A MAP OF FLORIDA, YOU'RE
GETTING THE FULL MONTY.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERING ) PRESIDENT BIDEN SPOKE NEXT, AND
IT WAS A HEARTWARMING SPEECH ABOUT UNITY, RECOVERY, AND
STRENGTH.
BUT I GOT TO POINT OUT, AT NO POINT DID HE THROW ROLLS OF
PAPER TOWELS INTO A DESPERATE CROWD, RAISING THE TROUBLING
QUESTION: IS BIDEN TOO OLD TO RICOCHET A ROLL OF BRAWNY OFF A
PENSIONER'S NOGGIN?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
AFTER THE SPEECH-- YOU GOTTA ASK.
AFTER THE SPEECH, THE PRESIDENT WAS GREETED BY FORT MYERS BEACH
MAYOR, RAY MURPHY, AND WAS CAUGHT SAYING THIS TO THE MAYOR
ON A HOT MIC.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: OKAY, OKAY.
OKAY, YOU APPLAUD, BUT I THINK IT IS WRONG...
FOR CBS TO MAKE US BLEEP THAT.
UP THE COAST IN GEORGIA, SCANDAL STILL SURROUNDS G.O.P. SENATE
CANDIDATE AND NECK WITH A SIDE ORDER OF HEAD, HERSCHEL WALKER.
THIS WEEK, "THE DAILY BEAST" REPORTED THAT WALKER-- WHO HAS
BEEN VOCALLY ANTIABORTION-- PAID FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND TO HAVE AN
ABORTION BACK IN 2009.
NOW WE'VE LEARNED THAT THE G.O.P. KNEW ABOUT WALKER'S
COMPLETE HYPOCRISY FOR A LONG TIME, BUT THEIR REACTION
RAN THE GAMUT FROM "THIS ABORTION THING I HEARD.
HAVING MORE KIDS THAN HE WAS I HAD HEARD ABOUT THE ALLEGED
LIABILITIES.
EH, IT'S NOT GOING TO COME OUT" "OH, YEAH, WE KNEW ABOUT ALL OF
IT-- THE SECRET KIDS, THE ABORTION COVER-UP, THE BACKYARD
PIT WHERE HE MAKES TODDLERS FIGHT RACCOONS FOR SPORT-- YOU
GUYS HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT THAT ONE YET?
EH, IT'S NOT GONNA COME OUT.
AND EVEN IF IT DOES, SOMETIMES THE TODDLERS WIN."
( LAUGHTER ) THEY GENERALLY DID NOT SEEM TOO
WORRIED, BECAUSE, AS ANOTHER STRATEGIST PUT IT, HERSCHEL
WALKER IS JUST "A WEALTHY, FAMOUS FOOTBALL PLAYER WHO IS
OBVIOUSLY SPREADING HIS SEED."
(TO TUNE OF "NEW YORK, NEW YORK")
♪ JUST SPREADING HIS SEED HIS SEX IS UNSAFE
♪ HE WILL NOT BE A PART OF IT HIS CHILD'S LIFE! ♪
BUT THE G.O.P. IS STANDING BY THEIR MAN, ESPECIALLY FORMER
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE AND CURRENT PUCKERED SPHINCTER, NEWT
GINGRICH.
GINGRICH WENT ON THE FOX NEWS LAST NIGHT TO DEFEND WALKER.
>> YOU KNOW, HE'S BEEN THROUGH A LONG, TOUGH PERIOD.
HE HAD A LOT OF CONCUSSIONS COMING OUT OF FOOTBALL.
HE SUFFERED P.T.S.D.
>> Stephen: SEE?
WALKER ISN'T A BAD GUY.
HE'S JUST HAD SO MANY CONCUSSIONS HE CAN'T POSSIBLY BE
HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR HIS ACTIONS!
YOU KNOW: A SENATOR.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
ALSO-- ( CHEERING )
IS ♪ DA-DA-DA♪
ALSO, P.T.S.D. ISN'T THE ACRONYM YOU'RE LOOKING FOR, NEWT, UNLESS
YOU THINK IT MEANS "PROBABLY THREE SECRET DAUGHTERS."
( LAUGHTER ) AND BECAUSE IT'S THE G.O.P.,
GINGRICH HAD TO BRING UP THE MAN UPSTAIRS.
>> I THINK HE'S A REMARKABLE PERSON.
I THINK HE'S THE MOST IMPORTANT SENATE CANDIDATE IN THE COUNTRY.
HE WILL DO MORE TO CHANGE THE SENATE JUST BY HIS SHEER
PRESENCE, BY HIS CONFIDENCE AND DEEP COMMITMENT TO CHRIST.>> StE
MORE COMMITTED TO CHRIST?
CERTAINLY NOT HIS OPPONENT, THE HONORABLE REVEREND DR. RAPHAEL
WARNOCK, PASTOR OF THE HISTORIC EBENEZER BAPTIST CHURCH,
SPIRITUAL HOME OF THE REVEREND DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING.
( APPLAUSE ) SAYING WALKER IS MORE CHRISTIAN
THAN WARNOCK IS LIKE SAYING YOU'RE MORE INTO BASEBALL THAN
MR. MET.
HIS HEAD IS A BASEBALL.
AND HE STILL HASN'T HAD AS MANY CONCUSSIONS AS HERSCHEL WALKER.
OVER IN WISCONSIN, WE GOT A SURPRISING ADMISSION FROM
REPUBLICAN SENATOR AND GHOST DOOMED TO HAUNT A LAQUINTA INN,
RON JOHNSON.
AS WE HAVE KNOWN FOR A WHILE NOW, ON THE MORNING OF
JANUARY 6, SENATOR JOHNSON'S STAFF ATTEMPTED TO DELIVER TO
VICE PRESIDENT MIKE PENCE LISTS OF FAKE ELECTORS WHO WOULD BE
USED AS PART OF THEIR PLOT TO OVERTURN THE ELECTION.
JOHNSON HAS REPEATEDLY DENIED ANY INVOLVEMENT, BUT YESTERDAY,
HE ACKNOWLEDGED TEXTING WITH THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S ATTORNEY ON
JANUARY 6.
WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING NO ONE'S EVER SAID BEFORE: IT LOOKS LIKE
RON JOHNSON KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING.
( LAUGHTER ) THIS IS PRETTY DAMNING, BUT
RON-JON-- AS THE TIKTOKERS CALL HIM-- CLAIMS HE HAD NO CHOICE.
SAYING, "WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU GOT A TEXT FROM THE ATTORNEY
FOR THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES?"
UHHH... SMASH MY PHONE, CHANGE MY NAME, AND BURN OFF MY
FINGERTIPS WITH A CURLING IRON?
JOHNSON SAID HE HAD TO RESPOND TO IT.
AND, ANYWAY, HE COULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT MUCH OF A CONSPIRACY
BECAUSE "THE ENTIRE EPISODE LASTED ABOUT AN HOUR."
YOU CAN DO A LOT OF ILLEGAL STUFF IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME:
"YOUR HONOR, I PLEAD NOT GUILTY.
I WAS ONLY STABBING HIM FOR ABOUT AN HOUR!"
( LAUGHTER ) PLUS, SENATOR JOHNSON SAYS, HE
DIDN'T KNOW THE CONTENTS OF THE PACKAGE THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S
ATTORNEY WANTED HIM TO DELIVER.
SO JOHNSON'S JUST AN UNWITTING COURIER OF ILLEGAL CONTRABAND.
"YES, I SWALLOWED THOSE 15 BALLOONS, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THEY
WERE FULL OF HEROIN!
I JUST THOUGHT THERE WAS A SIX-YEAR-OLD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY IN
MY STOMACH!" OH, WE ALSO GOT A NEW LITTLE
SNIPPET OF CRAZY FROM GEORGIA REPRESENTATIVE AND CURSED DOLL
FASHIONED FROM SILLY PUTTY AND HATE, MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE.
AT A RECENT RALLY IN MICHIGAN, GREENE RAILED AGAINST OUR
TRANSPORTATION SECRETARY, PETE BUTTIGIEG, FOR PROMOTING
ELECTRIC VEHICLES: >> BUT DEMOCRATS, LIKE PETE
BUTTIGIEG, WANT TO EMASCULATE THE WAY WE DRIVE.
>> Stephen: "HE THINKS ELECTRIC CARS SHOULD USE THE SAME
BATHROOMS AS GAS-POWERED CARS!
I'M SORRY, I'M A LADY.
AND I DON'T DRIVE STICK!" ( LAUGHTER )
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS.
( APPLAUSE ) THERE'S NO WAY-- THERE'S NO WAY
TO MAKE THAT MEAN ANYTHING.
BUTTIGIEG CLAPPED BACK: >> I LITERALLY DON'T EVEN
UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS.
I MEAN, MY SENSE OF MANHOOD IS NOT CONNECTED TO WHETHER MY
VEHICLE IS FUELED BY GASOLINE OR WHETHER IT'S FUELED BY
ELECTRICITY.
>> Stephen: SOUNDS LIKE A GUY WHO NEVER CONNECTED HIS
MANHOOD TO HIS CAR.
IT'S HOW I CHECK MY OIL LEVEL: NATURE'S DIPSTICK.
( LAUGHTER ) OVER IN--
OVER IN UKRAINE, RUSSIANS CONTINUE TO HAVE THEIR ASSES
HANDED TO THEM ON A BED OF PICKLED CABBAGE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT'S GOTTEN SOME PEOPLE WORRIED
THAT A CORNERED PUTIN MAY RESORT TO USING A TACTICAL NUCLEAR
WEAPON.
BUT THE PEOPLE OF UKRAINE ARE SAYING "SCREW THAT"-- LITERALLY.
BECAUSE SOME UKRAINIANS ARE RESPONDING TO THE THREAT OF
NUKES BY ORGANIZING AN ORGY.
WELL, YEAH!
THAT'S WHAT WE ALL PLAN TO DO.
IT'S ALL IN THAT COLD WAR P.S.A.:
"SUCK AND COVER."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
MORE THAN-- SURE, WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE TURTLE?
WHAT'S THE TURTLE'S NAME?
MORE THAT 15,000 PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY SIGNED UP FOR THE ORGY,
WHICH IS SET TO TAKE PLACE ON A HILLSIDE OF KYIV, WITH THE
INTENTION TO HEAD THERE IN THE EVENT OF A NUCLEAR ATTACK-- AS
OPPOSED TO FINDING THE NEAREST BUNKER.
I GET IT.
I MEAN, WITH THE BOMBS FALLING, WHY KISS YOUR ASS GOOD-BYE, WHEN
YOU CAN HAVE SOMEBODY ELSE DO IT?
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
FORMER WHITE HOUSE SPEECHWRITER CODY KEENAN IS HERE.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, DR. ANTHONY FAUCI.
TONY!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
GIVE IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW BAND.
LOUIS, WHO DO WE HAVE JOINING US ON THE BASS HERE?
>> Louis: YOU RECOGNIZE THAT FACE.
THAT'S SEASON ONE FACE.
>> Stephen: SEASON ONE?
I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU IN SEVEN YEARS.
>> IT'S LITERALLY BEEN SEVEN YEARS.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.
>> Stephen: YOU LOOK-- YOU'VE WEATHERED SEVEN YEARS MUCH
BETTER THAN I HAVE.
>> YOU LOOK GREAT.
>> Stephen: MICHAEL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: THANKS FOR PLUCKING THE STRINGS.
LOUIS, IN JUST A MINUTE, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE CODY KEENAN WHO IS
THE FORMER CHIEF WHITE HOUSE SPEECHWRITER FOR BARACK OBAMA.
>> Louis: RIGHT.
>> Stephen: HE'S GOT A BOOK.
HE'S GOT A BOOK CALLED "GRACE.
THE.
HE'LL BE OUT HERE IN JUST A MINUTE.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BEFORE WE DO ANY OF THAT,s MY FIRST
GUEST IS THE CHIEF MEDICAL ADVISER TO THE PRESIDENT WHOSE
LEVEL-HEADED GUIDANCE HAS TAKEN US THROUGH THE PANDEMIC.
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," DR. ANTHONY FAUCI!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: DOCTOR.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: IT'S GOOD-- IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> THANK YOU, IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE.
>> Stephen: I'VE HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO TALK TO YOU BUT
NEVER IN PERSON.
THIS IS NICE.
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: ONLY OVER ZOOM.
>> WE'VE BECOME A ZOOM SOCIETY.
>> Stephen: NOTHING BEATS THE TACTILE SENSATION.
SOMEBODY WORKS OUT!
THERE YOU GO.
THE FAUCI GUNS.
FIRST OF ALL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR 54 YEARS OF SERVICE TO
THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AND OUR HEALTH SYSTEM.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: I KNOW IT'S GOING TO COME TO AN END.
AT LEAST YOUR FEDERAL SERVICE IS COMING TO AN END.
WHILE WE'VE GOT YOU HERE, WE CAN STILL PICK YOUR BRAIN, I WANT TO
ASK YOU SOME THINGS ABOUT THIS PANDEMIC WE'VE HEARD SO MUCH
ABOUT.
PRESIDENT BIDEN SAID RECENTLY THE PANDEMIC IS OVER.
IT DOESN'T FEEL OVER.
FOR INSTANCE, JIMMIE, CAN WE GET A SHOT OF THIS?
THIS AUDIENCE RIGHT HERE, EVERYBODY HERE IS STILL IN THEIR
MASKS RIGHT HERE, JUST FOR AN ABUNDANCE OF SAFETY.
AS YOU CAN SEE, EVERY NIGHT I COME OUT HERE, IT DOESN'T FEEL
OVER TO ME.
WHEN WILL IT FEEL OVER?
>> IT WILL FEEL OVER IN A REAL SENSE WHEN IT GETS TO SUCH A LOW
LEVEL IN SOCIETY THAT IT DOESN'T DISRUPT THE SOCIAL ORDER, THE
WAY IT IS HERE, REQUIRING PEOPLE TO WEAR MASKS, ALL KINDS OF
THINGS LIKE THAT.
WHAT THE PRESIDENT WAS REFERRING TO IS THAT THE VERY ACUTE STAGE
OF THE OUTBREAK, WHETHER WE WERE GETTING 900,000 CASES A DAY AND
3,000 TO 4,000 DEATHS, THAT'S NOT WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW.
WE'RE WAY DOWN IN CASES, BUT WE'RE ALSO WAY DOWN IN DEATHS.
BUT THE LEVEL THAT WE'RE AT, STEPHEN, IS NOT REALLY
ACCEPTABLE.
I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE AT ALL WITH SAYING WE CAN LIVE WITH 400
DEATHS A DAY.
WE HAVE GOT TO GET THE LEVEL OF INFECTION AND THE LEVEL OF
DEATHS AND HOSPITALIZATIONS FAR, FAR LOWER SO THAT IT IS NOT
ERADICATED -- WE'RE NOT GOING TO COMPLETELY GET RID OF THIS.
BUT WE WANT TO GET IT TO A LEVEL THAT'S SO LOW IT JUST DOESN'T
DISRUPT SOCIETY.
>> Stephen: NOW, ONE OF THE THINGS THAT WE'VE ALL NOTICED
OVER THE LAST TWO, THREE YEARS IS THAT BASICALLY, IT'S LIKE TWO
MONTHS OF BADNESS, TWO MONTHS OF A LITTLE BIT BETTER.
TWO MONTHS OF BADNESS.
I FEEL LIKE WE'RE GOING BACK INTO A TWO MONTHS OF BADNESS.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE WE HAVE MORE PEOPLE OUT AT THE SHOW.
WE STILL TEST HERE AND TRY TO KEEP A SAFE ENVIRONMENT.
WE HAVE PEOPLE OUT THIS WEEK THAT WE HAVEN'T HAD IN A LONG
TIME.
ARE WE GOING TO SEE THIS COLD WEATHER WAVE AGAIN THIS YEAR?
>> YOU KNOW, WE MIGHT.
I HAVE TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST WITH YOU.
WE MIGHT, HOPEFULLY -- >> Stephen: YOU COULD LIE AND
MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.
IT WORKS FOR POLITICIANS.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> HOPEFULLY, GIVEN THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE ALREADY BEEN
INFECTED, PLUS THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN VACCINATED, AND WE
HOPE THEY'LL GET THEIR UPDATED BA.5 BIVALIENT SOON FOR PEOPLE
ELIGIBLE, AND ALMOST EVERYBODY IS ELIGIBLE FOR IT, THAT YOU
WILL GET A DAMPENING OF EFFECT.
THIS VIRUS IS SO UNIQUE, UNLIKE ANYTHING WE'VE EXPERIENCED,
WHERE YOU GET THE CONTINUED EMERGENCE OF VARIANTS THAT TEND
TO ELUDE THE GENERAL PROTECTION THAT YOU WOULD GET FROM A
VACCINE OR FROM A PRIOR INFECTS.
NOT COMPLETELY, BUT JUST ENOUGH TO DIMINISH THE LEVEL OF
PROTECTION.
THEN YOU WIND UP GOING INTO A WINTER SEASON WHEN MOST PEOPLE
WOULD SPEND A LOT OF TIME INDOORS, AND ANY RESPIRATORY
INFECTION, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS, ALWAYS DOES BETTER FOR THE VIRUS
WHEN YOU'RE INDOORS IN THE COLD WEATHER.
THE WAY WE CAN MOLLIFY THAT, MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T GET OUT OF
HAND, IS JUST GO OUT AND GET VACCINATED.
WE HAVE 68% OF OUR POPULATION IS VACCINATED, AND ONLY ONE-HALF OF
THOSE HAVE GOTTEN AT LEAST ONE BOOST.
IF YOU COMPARE US TO THE OTHER COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD, WE ARE
DOWN IN THE RANKING OF VACCINATION,s EVEN BELOW SOME
LOW- AND MIDDLE-INCOME COUNTRIES.
SO WE HAVE TO DO BETTER IF WE WANT TO GET BACK TO A NORMALITY.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE BEEN AT THE NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF ALLERGY
AND INFECTIOUS DISEASES FOR 40 YEARS NOW, SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
>> 54, BUT -- >> Stephen: 54 AT N.I.A.D.?
>> AND I'VE BEEN THE DIRECTOR FOR 38.
>> Stephen: THE DIRECTOR FOR 38 YEARS.
IN 2020, YOU WENT THROUGH SOME VERY TUMULTUOUS TIMES.
YOU WERE AT THE FOREFRONT OF THE UNITED STATES TRYING TO CONFRONT
THE AIDS EPIDEMIC IN THE 1980s AND THE 1990s.
BUT 2020 WAS DIFFERENT THAN ANYTHING ELSE.
>> ABSOLUTELY YOU.
>> Stephen: BECAME THE CENTER OF A MEDIA AND POLITICAL
FIRESTORM FOR WHAT SEEMED COVERAGENT ADVICE TO THE
AMERICAN PEOPLE.
HOW DO YOU WEATHER THAT KIND OF MAELSTROM?
>> STEPHEN, YOU JUST HAVE TO FOCUS ON WHAT YOUR JOB IS.
AND MY IS JOB AS A SCIENTIST AND A PHYSICIAN AND A PUBLIC HEALTH
OFFICIAL WAS TO DO WHATEVER WE CAN FROM A SCIENTIFIC
STANDPOINT, LIKE DEVELOPING THE VACCINE, TO GETTING THE MESSAGES
TO PEOPLE ABOUT GETTING VACCINATED.
AND WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS JUST FOCUS LIKE A LASER ON WHAT YOUR
JOB IS OPINION AND MY JOB IS TO DO WHAT I CAN TO PROTECT THE
HEALTH AND THE WELFARE OF THE AMERICAN PUBLIC, AND INDIRECTLY
FOR THE REST OF THE WORLD, BECAUSE WE'RE A LEADER IN PUBLIC
HEALTH.
AND ALL THAT OTHER STUFF IS NOISE.
I MEAN, THE SLINGS AND THE ARROWS AND ALL THAT KIND OF
THING, YOU JUST HAVE TO PUT THAT ASIDE AS NOISE AND NOT PAY
ATTENTION TO IT.
>> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT SOME OF THE SORT OF CONFUSION
THAT CAME OUT OVER LAST FEW YEARS.
I THINK I'VE ASKED YOU ABOUT THIS, BUT I WANT TO CHECK IN ONE
MORE TIME.
DID IVERMECTIN DO ANYTHING?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: HUMANS DO TAKE IT BUT NOT FOR THIS PURPOSE?
>> IT DOES NOT HELP WITH COVID.
>> HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE, DID IT DO ANYTHING?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: PEOPLE WHO HORDED THAT, NO REASON TO HAVE DONE
THAT.
JUST CHECKING.
>> Stephen: YOU GOT IT.
>> Stephen: FOR A FRIEND.
>> YOU GOT IT RIGHT.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE DR. ANTHONY FAUCI, EVERYBODY,
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH DR. ANTHONY FAUCI.
WELL, YOU'RE AMERICA'S DOCTOR, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE
QUESTIONS ABOUT THE ONGOING PANDEMIC.
SOME OF MY STAFF HERE.
SO IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU SOME RAPID-FIRE
QUESTIONS AND GET RAPID-FIRE ANSWERS.
IT'S SOMETHING WE'RE CALLING "DOCTOR'S ORDERS."
DR. FAUCI, CAN YOU GET A FLU SHOT AND BOOSTER SHOT AT THE
SAME TIME?
>> YES.
THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
>> Stephen: SHORT ANSWER: HOW OFTEN WILL WE BE GETTING
BOOSTED, FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES?
>> WE DON'T KNOW THAT.
YOU HAVE TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST.
WE WOULD HOPE THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO THAT, BUT IF WE HAVE
TO DO THAT, AT LEAST FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS, UNTIL THIS GETS
SO LOW IT'S ESSENTIALLY A NONENTITY, IT IS CONCEIVABLE
THAT WE MIGHT HAVE TO GET A REGULAR BOOSTER, SIMILAR TO WHAT
WE DO WITH INFLUENZA.
>> Stephen: OKAY, HOW CAN PEOPLE SAFELY GATHER FOR THE
HOLIDAYS?
>> WELL, THERE ARE A NUMBER OF WAYS.
FIRST OF ALL, GET VACCINATED, CERTAINLY OF ENCOURAGE THE
PEOPLE-- YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR FRIENDS WHO YOU'RE GOING TO BE
INTERACTING WITH AT THE HOLIDAYS-- TO GET VACCINATED.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU CONVINCE FRIENDS OR FAMILY
MEMBERS WHO WILL NOT GET VACCINATED?
LET'S SAY I HAVE SOMEONE I LOVE VERY MUCH, AND WHO I DO NOT-- I
DO NOT JUDGE THEM FOR NOT DOING THIS, BUT I WORRY THEM EYE WORRY
SO MUCH ABOUT THEM FOR NOT DOING IT.
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW THEY HAVE OTHER CONDITIONS, AND IF THEY
GOT IT THIS WOULD BE TERRIBLE FOR THEM.
WHAT IS THE ARGUMENT HERE?
THE ARGUMENT IS YOU LOOK AT THE DATA, AND THE DATA ARE
ABSOLUTELY CRYSTAL CLEAR.
>> Stephen: IS THE SCIENCE IN ON WHETHER THE VACCINE IS SAFE?
>> OH, WOULD YOU WANT A DOUBT.
IT'S BEEN GIVEN TO BILLIONS OF PEOPLE IN BILLIONS OF DOSES.
THERE'S NO DOUBT-- SAFETY IS OFF THE TABLE, NO DOUBT IT'S SAFE.
THE IMPORTANT POINT IS IF YOU REASON WITH PEOPLE AND SHOW THE
STATISTICS OF THE NUMBER OF HOSPITALIZATIONS AND DEATHS
AMONG UNVACCINATED PEOPLE COMPARED TO PEOPLE WHO ARE
VACCINATED AND UP TO DATE ON THEIR BOOSTER, THE CURVES GO
HOSPITALIZATION AND DEATH FOR PEOPLE UNVACCINATED,
HOSPITALIZATION AND DEATHS FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE VACCINATED.
TO HAVE PEOPLE JUST LOOK AT THE DATA.
THAT'S NOT GOING TO CONVINCE EVERYBODY, BUT FOR PEOPLE WHO AT
LEAST PUT A LITTLE BIT STOCK IN DATA, THEY SHULD UNDERSTAND
THAT.
>> Stephen: WHEN SHOULD WE STILL BE WEARING MASKS?
>> YOU KNOW, IT REALLY DEPENDS ON THE LEVEL OF DYNAMICS OF
VIRUS IN THE COMMUNITY.
YOU KNOW, THE C.D.C. SHOWS IN THEIR COLOR CODING WHETHER IT'S
HIGH, MEDIUM, OR LOW.
IF YOU ARE IN A SITUATION WHERE THE LEVEL OF VIRUS IS REALLY
VERY LOW FROM THE STANDPOINT OF CIRCULATION IN THE COMMUNITY,
THEN YOU COULD PROBABLY GET AWAY AND POSSIBLY WEAR A MASK IF YOU
ARE A PERSON AT A HIGH RISK.
IT REALLY DEPENDS.
IF YOU ARE IN AN AREA WHERE THERE'S VIRUS THAT THE DYNAMICS
IS RED HOOT, THEN WHEN YOU'RE IN AN INDOOR CONGREGATE SETTING,
YOU SHOULD FOLLOW THE C.D.C.
RECOMMENDATIONS ABOUT WEARING A MASK.
>> Stephen: IF YOU ARE INFECTED IS THERE ANYTHING YOU
CAN DO TO HELP AVOID CHANCES OF LONG COVID?
>> FIRST OF ALL, IF YOU GET VACCINATED AND THEN WIND UP
GETTING INFECTED, THE DATA CLEARLY SHOW NOW, THE LIKELIHOOD
OF YOUR GETTING LONG COVID IS MARKEDLY DIMINISHED COMPARED TO
AN UNVACCINATED PERSON.
SO WHAT YOU CAN PREEMPTIVELY DO IS GET VACCINATED.
HOPEFULLY YOU WON'T GET INFECTED.
BUT IF YOU DO, YOU'LL DIMINISH THE CHANCE OF GETTING LONG
COVID.
>> Stephen: AND HOW MUCH DO YOU ENJOY TESTIFYING BEFORE
CONGRESS?
>> OH, IT'S A LOT OF FUN.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC MADE A DOCUMENTARY
ABOUT YOU, AND I WAS HONORED WHEN I HEARD THAT A CLIP OF US
TALKING ABOUT YOU WAS INCLUDED IN IT.
I'D LIKE TO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW TO SEE WHAT WE CONTRIBUTED TO
THE NARRATIVE WHILE OUR COUNTRY WAS FACING THIS TIME OF CRISIS.
JIM.
>> "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE, THERE'S A PETITION TO MAKE YOU SEXIEST MAN
ALIVE BECAUSE PEOPLE SAY BRAINS ARE SEXY.
I'M WONDERING HOW YOU'RE-- WHAT YOUR FAMILY THINKS ABOUT ALL OF
THIS.
>> IT'S REALLY KIND OF CRAZY.
WE TRY NOT TO PAY ATTENTION TO THAT AND JUST FOCUS ON THE
RESPONSIBILITY AND THE JOB THAT WE HAVE.
THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING, NOT THAT OTHER STUFF.
>> Stephen: THAT IS SO HUMBLE.
AND SO SEXY.
( LAUGHTER ) JIM, CAN WE PUT FAUCI BACK UP?
CAN WE GET A WIDER SHOT?
OH, YEAH!
THE NATIONAL INSTITUTES OF HOTNESS!
JUST TRY TO STAY SIX FEET AWAY.
( APPLAUSE ) WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BREAK
HERE TO PAY THE BILLS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE DR. ANTHONY FAUCI, EVERYBODY.
DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WANT TO MISS THIS.
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH DIRECTOR OF THE NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF
ALLERGY AND INFECTIOUS DISEASE, DR. ANTHONY FAUCI.
DOCTOR, WE WERE TALKING ABABOUT, YOU KNOW, THE BOOSTER SHOTS A
LITTLE BIT EARLIER.
AND I HAVEN'T GOTTEN THE LATEST BOOSTER SHOT.
WHAT IS IT?
>> WITH THE LATEST IS A VERY SPECIFIC SHOT DIRECTED AT THE
CURRENTLY CIRCULATING VARIANT, AND THAT'S BA.5.
IT'S A HYBRID.
IT HAS PART OF BA.5, AND PART THE OLDER, ORIGINAL VACCINE.
>> Stephen: AND HOW-- HOW COW BECOME ELIGIBLE FOR THAT?
AM I ELIGIBLE?
>> ABSOLUTE, YEAH.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU HAD IT?
>> I HAVEN'T HAD IT YET.
I'M DUE FOR IT.
I GOT INFECTED ABOUT THREE MONTHS AGO, AND THE
RECOMMENDTION IS IF YOU'VE GOTTEN INFECTED, WAIT THREE
MONTHS AND GET A BOOSTER.
SO I'M ACTUALLY ELIGIBLE TO GET BOOSTER.
>> Stephen: DO YOU WANT-- WE HAVE A DRUGSTORE DOWN THE
STREET.
DO YOU WANT TO GO GET-- RIGHT DOWN THE STREET.
DO YOU WANT TO GET THE BOOSTER RIGHT NOW?
>> CAN WE?
IF WE CAN, LET'S DO IT.
>> Stephen: IT'S MY SHOW.
WE CAN DO ANYTHING WE WANT.
JIMMIE, LET'S DO IT.
LET'S DO IT!
LET'S GET A BOOSTER SHOT!
COME ON!
WATCH YOUR STEP.
WATCH YOUR STEP RIGHT THERE.
HELLO.
LET'S GO OUT HERE.
CLOSE THE DOOR.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
RIGHT DOWN HERE ON THE CORNER.
YOU GREW UP IN BROOKLYN, RIGHT?
>> I DID, I DID.
>> Stephen: COULD I HEAR YOUR BEST, "HEY, I'M WALKING HERE!"
>> HEY, I'M WALKING HERE!
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: TOTALLY BELIEVABLE!
HOW ABOUT A-- CAN YOU GIVE ME A "FORGET ABOUT IT?"
>> FUHGEDABOUTIT!
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO, VERY NICE.
ARE YOU WORRIED AT ALL ABOUT THE NEW BOOSTER?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: NO, YOU'RE NOT WORRIED ABOUT THE 5G CHIP THEY
PUT INTO YOU?
>> BILL GATES AND I DECIDED WE'LL TAKE THE CHIPS OUT NOW.
HOW USED TO NEEDLES ARE YOU?
>> PRETTY.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU HAD ANY BOTOX?
YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.
YOU CAN'T TELL ME THIS IS NATURAL.
LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED SOME CONDOMS.
I'LL ASK FOR YOU.
LAUGH SPOOKY SEASON IS COMING UP.
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST.
>> A THOUSAND KIDS COMING TO MY DOOR BREATHING ON ME.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A DOCTOR, WHAT IS THE HEALTHIEST CANDY YOU
CAN GET?
>> CERTAINLY, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO THE BRAND NAMES HERE,
NONE OF THEM.
>> Stephen: WELL, SKITTLES-- GREAT SOURCE OF FRUIT FLAVOR.
>> AND ALSO A LOT OF SUGAR.
>> Stephen: BUT THAT GIVES YOU POWER!
TO GET THINGS DONE.
RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> Stephen: WHAT WAS YOUR GO-TO CANDY AS A KID?
>> KIT-KAT!
>> Stephen: KIT-KAT!
REALLY?
DID THEY HAVE THESE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?
>> OH, YEAH.
KIT-KAT AND MALT BALLS.
>> Stephen: DO YOU LIKE BABY RUTH?
>> NO, TOO STICKY.
>> Stephen: DID YOU KNOW BABE RUTH?
>> NO, I DIDN'T.
I'M NOT THAT OLD, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT!
I'M SORRY.
DO YOU HAVE A COSTUME FOR HALLOWEEN YET?
>> NOT YET.
>> Stephen: I KNOW YOU WANT TO CONVINCE PEOPLE TO GO GET THIS
SHOT, RIGHT?
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: IT'S A COOL THING TO DO.
OKAY.
WHAT COULD BE MORE COMPELLING THAN GETTING THE SHOT WITH A
PAIR OF SEXY KITTEN EARS ON?
( LAUGHTER ).
>> YOU LOOK WONDERFUL, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
DOCTOR, JUST PUT THESE ON.
PUT THESE ON.
I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO SAY MEOW-MEOW OR LICK YOUR PAW.
LOOK IN THE CAMERA AND SAY, "DON'T FORGET TO GET YOUR
BOOSTER."
THIS IS REALLY GOING TO SELL IT.
>> ONLY IF YOU'RE WITH ME, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: 100%.
>> DON'T FORGET TO GET YOUR BOOSTER.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HOW ABOUT
SUNGLASSES?
DO YOU WANT TO TRY THOSE ON?
>> ARE WE COOL?
>> Stephen: YEAH, WE'RE COOL.
THIS IS COOL.
GO GET SHOT.
IT'S DOPE.
STAY IN SCHOOL.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU CAN HAVE THESE IF YOU WANT.
ALL RIGHT, THERE YOU GO.
HELLO!
GOOD AFTERNOON.
I WAS WONDERING WHETHER I COULD SET MY FRIEND UP HERE WITH A
COVID BOOSTER SHOT?
ED>> ABSOLUTELY HAVE A SEAT.
>> Stephen: IT'S OKAY TO BE SCARED.
>> HOLD MY HAND?
>> Stephen: I WILL.
DO YOU THINK HE'S NERVOUS TO GIVE ANTHONY FAUCI A SHOT?
>> HE PROBABLY IS.
>> HI, THERE.
>> HEY.
I I JUST NEED TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS.
HAVE YOU HAD A COVID VACCINATION BEFORE?
>> YES >> AND HAVE YOU HAD AN UNTOWARD
REACTION?
>> NO.
>> AND HAVE YOU BEEN INFECTED BEFORE?
>> A LITTLE OVER THREE MONTHS.
>> I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE AND NO ONE IS ASKING ME.
I HAD COVID, TOO.
NO ONE CARES.
LET'S SEE THOSE GUNS?
LET'S SEE THOSE FAMOUS FAUCI GUNS.
YOU WORK OUT, DO YOU LIFT, BRO?
>> YOU KNOW, I WORK OUT, BUT ONLY FROM THE WAIST DOWN.
>> Stephen: THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
THAT'S SOME GOOD TRIs.
>> JUST HAVE A SEAT FOR ME.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU NERVOUS TO GIVE ANTHONY FAUCI A SHOT?
>> I'VE DONE THIS PLENTY OF TIMES.
>> Stephen: BUT THAT'S ANTHONY FAUCI.
THAT'S LIKE POURING A DRINK FOR JACK DANIELS.
ARE YOU NERVOUS TO GIVE THIS MAN A SHOT?
>> HE'S ACTUALLY ONLY THE THIRD MOST FAMOUS PERSON I'VE
VACCINATED.
>> Stephen: WHO IS THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON YOU'VE VACCINATED?
>> TAKE A DEEP BREATH FOR ME...
>> Stephen: WHO IS THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON?
>> THAT'S IT.
>> Stephen: THERE'S THE MOMENT.
>> Stephen: OKAY, WHO IS THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON YOU'VE
VACCINATED?
>> I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT.
>> Stephen: YES, YOU CAN!
>> THANK YOU.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> Stephen: CAN YOU GIVE ME A HINT?
>> SO, THE ASK IS THAT YOU HANG OUT FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES, AND
WE'LL SEE HOW YOU'RE DOING.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH!
>> THANK YOU, TAKE CARE!
>> Stephen: OKAY, YOU JUST GOT THE INJECTION.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING NOW?
>> I'M GOOD.
>> Stephen: YOU SURE?
>> I'M POSITIVE!
>> Stephen: NO SWELLING OF ANYTHING?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: NIKKI MINAJ'S COUSIN'S FRIEND WANTED ME TO
ASK YOU A QUESTION ABOUT SIDE EFFECTS.
>> NO, THEY'RE FINE!
>> Stephen: BECAUSE IF THEY SWELL TOO MUCH, YOU WON'T BE
ABLE TO TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF.
DR. FAUCI, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
YOU'VE BEEN SO GOOD.
>> IT'S BEEN WORTH THE TRIP.
>> Stephen: YOU DESERVE IT.
YOU DESERVE IT.
ANTHONY FAUCI, FULLY INOCULATED AND BOOSTED.
IF YOU WANT TO STAY AS HEALTHY AS THIS GUY, HEAD TO
vaccines.gov TO FIND BOOSTER SHOTS NEAR YOU.
DR. ANTHONY FAUCI, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH FORMER WHITE HOUSE SPEECHWRITER
CODY KEENAN!
HEY, EVERYBODY!
GET SOME GOGGLES.
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
MY NEXT GUEST SPENT FOUR YEARS AS PRESIDENT OBAMA'S CHIEF
WHITE HOUSE SPEECHWRITER, AND HAS WRITTEN A BOOK CALLED,
"GRACE: PRESIDENT OBAMA AND TEN DAYS IN THE BATTLE FOR AMERICA."
PLEASE WELCOME CODY KEENAN!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE AGAIN.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU.
FOR THOSE UP THERE WHO DO NOT KNOW, FORMER WHITE HOUSE
SPEECHWRITER, CURRENT NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY
PROFESSOR.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: GO, NORTHWESTERN.
OF SOMETIMES YOU ANSWER TO THE NICKNAME "HEMINGWAY,."
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: NO PRESSURE FOR A WRITER.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: OKAY, PAPA, I'LL BITE-- HOW ID YOU GET THE
NICKNAME HEMINGWAY?
>> WELL, HERE'S THE DIRTY LITTLE SECRET.
IN THE WHITE HOUSE EVERYBODY JUST ASSUMED IT WAS BECAUSE I
HAD SOME HEFT TO ME.
DURING THE STAY OF THE UNION ADDRESS I WOULD GROW A BIG
BEARD.
>> Stephen: HUGE FAN OF BULL FIGHTING.
>> HUGE FAN OF BULL FIGHTING.
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.
IN 2014 WE WERE ON AN OFFICIAL TRIP TO FRANCE AND I WAS WRITING
A SPEECH FOR THE PRESIDENT FOR THE 70th ANNIVERSARY OF
D-DAY.
WHICH IS NOT REALLY A SPEECH YOU CAN SCREW UP, YOU KNOW.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THE STORY OF D-DAY.
YOU CAN'T MESS UP THAT STORY.
BUT I BUSTED MY ASS TO MAKE THIS THE BEST SPEECH ANYBODY HAS
GIVEN ON D-DAY.
AND THE PRESIDENT CAME BACK ON THE PLANE AND SAID, "THIS IS
GREAT, I HAVE NO EDITS."
AND THAT FREES UP A NICE IN PARIS.
A GRABBED A BUNCH OF STAFF EARS BECAUSE WE ALL LOVED EACH OTHER.
WE HAD BEEN TOGETHER SINCE 2007.
WE DIDN'T GET TO HANG OUT OFTEN SO WE HAD A BIG DINNER IN PER
PARIS.& PEOPLE STARTED LEAVING TO GO
BACK TO THE HOTEL AND A FEW OF US WERE LIKE, WE'RE IN PARIS.
LET'S GO OUT.
FOUR OF US ENDED UP STAYING OUT ALL NIGHT LONG.
JUST GOING FROM BAR TO BAR, JAZZ CLUB TO JAZZ CLUB, WATCHED THE
SUN COME OVER OVER THE SEINE.
WE SHOWED UP BACK AT THE HOTEL AT 6:30 IN THE THE MORNING, AS
STAFF SHOWERED, DRESSED AND READY TO GET INTO THE MOTORCADE.
AND BEN RHOADES IS JUST SHOUTING AT THIS POINT, "VIVA LAS
AMERICANS!
VIVA LAIS FRANCE."
AND THE DEPUTY WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF SAID GET UPSTAIRS AND
SHOWER AND GET READY WE'RE LEAVING YOUR ASS IN PARIS.
WE GOT BACK AND SOMEBODY DIAMOND US OUT TO THE PRESIDENT.
HE GOT BACK OF ON THE PLANE AND SAID, "A MOVABLE FEAST IS BACK."
WE SLOUCHED IN OUR CHAIRS.
HE'S JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE HE CAN'T DO THAT ANYMORE.
EIGHT YEARS, YOU WORKED IN THE WHITE HOUSE, MASTERING OBAMA'S
VOICE, HIS RHETORICAL STYLE.
WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM HIM BY WRITING FOR HIM?
>> ONE OF THE MORE INTERESTING LESSONS HE TAUGHT ME ACTUALLY
INVOLVED JAZZ, WHICH I WASN'T EXPECTED.
THIS WAS 2015, AND I HAD BEEN WORKING ON THE STATE OF THE
UNION ADDRESS, WHICH A SPEECH EVERY SPEECHWRITER WANTS TO
WRITE UNTIL YOU DO BECAUSE IT'S AWFUL.
RIGHT?
>> Stephen: IT'S A LAUNDRY LIST.
>> IT'S A LAUNDRY LIST.
NOBODY REALLY LIKES THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS WHEN YOU'RE
WATCHING AT HOME AND I WAS DETERMINED TO MAKE THIS ONE THE
BEST.
I GAVE IT TO HIM EIGHT DAYS OUT, A NEW RECORD AND I'M WAITING FOR
HIM TO CALL ME UP TO THE OFFICE AND TELL ME HOW GOOD IT IS.
AND THAT CALL DOESN'T COME.
AND I'M AITING AND FREAKING OUT AND A DAY LATER HIS ASSISTANT
CALLS AND SAID, "THE BOSS WANTS TO SEE YOU."
AND I'M LIKE THIS IS IT.
FINALLY.
AND HE IS HAVING LUNCH IN THE PRIVATE DINING ROOM AND HE SAID,
"BROTHER, SIT DOWN."
AND HE SAID, "HOW ARE YOU DOING?"
"I'M FINE."
WHAT DID YOU DO OVER THE HOLIDAYS?
"I WROTE THE SPEECH.
>> IS IT GOOD OR NOT.
THIS IS THE BEST SHAPE WE HAVE BEEN IN EIGHT DAYS OUT.
>> I GO GREAT.
WE STILL HAVE EIGHT DAYS SO WE CAN MAKE IT BETTER.
HE GOES, "HERE'S THE THING, EVERYTHING IS IN HERE."
I GO, "I KNOW, IT'S THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS.
EVERYTHING IS IN HERE."
HE SAID, "EVERYTHING IS A 10.
EVERY SENTENCE SAYS SOMETHING.
EVERY WORD MEANS SOMETHING.
I NEED SOME OF IT AT FOUR, SEVEN, SIX."
AND I'M LIKE I KIND OF GET WHAT YOU'RE PUTTING DOWN.
HE SAID LET ME PUT IT ANOTHER WAY.
DO YOU EVER LISTEN TO MILES DAVIS?
WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND COMES OVER, I PUT MILES DAVIS ON.
HE SAYS YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT MILES DAVIS?
OBVIOUSLY NOT.
IT'S THE NOTES YOU DON'T PLAY.
IT'S THE SILENCES.
YOU GUYS GET IT.
IT'S THE SILENCES.
SO I WANT YOU TO GO HOME TONIGHT, PORYOURSELF A DRINK,
LISTEN TO MILES DAVIS, DON'T DO ANY WORK, AND COME BACK HERE
TOMORROW AND FIND ME SOME SILENCES.
AND THAT KIND OF STUCK WITH ME THROUGH SPEECH WRITING AND LIFE.
EVEN NOW WITH BREADON NEW BABY I CARVE OUT TIME.
MY WIFE WILL BE LIKE, HEY, FIND SOME SILENCES.
>> Stephen: WITH A BRAND NEW BABY YOU FIND SILENCES?
WELL, THE NEW BOOK IS CALLED "GRACE: PRESIDENT OBAMA AND TEN
DAYS IN THE BATTLE FOR AMERICA."
AFTER EIGHT YEARS IN THE WHITE HOUSE AND HELPING PRESIDENT
OBAMA, WHY FOCUS ON THOSE 10 DAYS IN JUNE OF 2015?
>> THERE WERE SO MANY EXTRAORDINARY EVENTS PACKED INTO
THESE 10 DAYS.
I REMEMBER SOMEBODY WROTE IT WAS TOO IMPLAUSIBLE FOR AN ENTIRE
SEASON OF THE "WEST WING."
THE 10 DAYS WERE BOOKENDED BY A RACIST MASSACRE IN CHARLESTON IN
A BLACK CHURCH CARRIED OUT BY WHITE SUPREMACISTS.
THE TENTH DAY BARACK OBAMA WENT DOWN AND SANG AMAZING GRACE.
AND IN BETWEEN THERE WERE THESE EXTRAORDINARY EVENTS.
THE REPUBLICAN GOVERNORS STARTING BRINGING DOWN THE
CONFEDERATE FLAG IN THE SOUTH.
THE SUPREME COURT IS-- WE KNOW THEY'RE GOING TO RULE ON
OBAMACARE AND MARRIAGE EQUALITY.
WE JUST DON'T KNOW WHICH WAY.
ALL THESE UNANSWERED QUESTIONS FROM OUR HISTORY ARE COMING TO
THE FORE AT THE SAME TIME-- RACE, VIOLENCE, BIGOTRY,
INEQUALITY.
WHO MATTERS?
WHAT IF THE SUPREME COURT SAYS GAY PEOPLE CAN'T GET MARRIED?
AND THEY BECOME A SECOND-CLASS TIER OF CITIZENS?
WHAT IF THEY SAY THE TENS OF MILLIONS OF WORKING AMERICANS
WHO JUST GOT HEALTH INSURANCE, THEY CAN'T HAVE IT ANYMORE?
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THAT?
I STOLE A THESIS FROM HIM FOR THE BOOK-- AND HE KNOWS THIS.
IN HIS SPEECH IN SALMA HE SAID, HE DESCRIBED SALMA, BUT IT'S
ALSO TRUE OF POLITICS.
IT'S NOT A CLASH OF ARMIES BUT A CLASH OF WILLS.
WE'RE ALWAYS ENGAGED IN THIS CONTEST TO DETERMINE THE TRUE
MEANING OF AMERICA.
AND IN THAT WEEK, EVERYTHING WENT THE RIGHT WAY, AND IT FELT
LIKE WE WERE WINNING THAT CONTEST FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A
WHILE.
OBVIOUSLY, THESE THINGS DON'T HOLD FOREVER.
PROGRESS IS UP AND DOWN.
BUT IT WAS JUST AN EXTRAORDINARY STORY THAT NEED TO BE TOLD.
AND I WANT-- YOU MENTIONED I TEACH NOW.
I WANT YOUNG PEOPLE LIKE MY STUDENTS TO READ THIS BOOK AND I
WANT IT IT TO DO WHAT OTHER BOOKS DID FOR ME CONVINCE
SCONVINCE PEOPLE THAT POLITICS IS WORTHY OF THEIR TIME.
AND YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE AND IT MATTERS.
AND IT CAN ACTUALLY BE FUN AND JOYFUL, WHICH WE DON'T SEE NOW,
BUT IT REALLY CAN BE.
FOR EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAS GROWN CYNICAL, I WANT IT TO BE A
BROADSIDE AGAINST THAT CYNICISM.
AGAIN.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
"GRACE: PRESIDENT OBAMA AND TEN DAYS IN THE BATTLE FOR AMERICA"
IS AVAILABLE NOW.
CODY KEENAN, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE CATE BLANCHETT AND STAR
OF "THE PATIENT," DOMHNALL GLEESON.
STICK AROUND FOR JAMES CORDEN.
GOOD NIGHT.