>> GEORGIA REPUBLICAN SENATE CANDIDATE HERSCHEL WALKER, AFTER
HE DENIED PAYING FOR AN EX-GIRLFRIEND'S ABORTION AND
CLAIMED HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO THE WOMAN COULD BE, "THE DAILY
BEAST" IS NOW REPORTING THAT THE WOMAN IS ALSO THE MOTHER OF ONE
OF WALKER'S CHILDREN.
>> HE LIED ABOUT WORKING FOR LAW ENFORCEMENT.
>> WALKER DOUBLES DOWN ON HIS DEFENSE THAT EVERYONE BUT HIM IS
LYING.
>> HE HAD A LOT OF CONCUSSIONS COMING OUT OF FOOTBALL.
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT: AND ANNIVERSARY FIRST DRAFTS
WITH STEPHEN AND EVIE.
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: CATE BLANCHETT
AND DOMHNALL GLEESON
FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW BAND.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: OH!
OH!
HELLO.
HAPPY THURSDAY.
THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.
HEY!
HEY, EVERYBODY, PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.
WHAT A LOVELY EVENING, LOVELY FALL, CRISP EVENING.
WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
FOLKS, THE MIDTERMS ARE JUST OVER A MONTH AWAY, AND THAT
SNEAKY JOE BIDEN PULLED AN OCTOBER SURPRISE ON THE
REPUBLICANS BY DOING SOMETHING POPULAR, BECAUSE THIS
AFTERNOON, AT 4:20 SOMEWHERE, JOE BIDEN PARDONED ALL FEDERAL
OFFENSES OF SIMPLE MARIJUANA POSSESSION.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WOOO!
OH, SHUCKY DUCKY!
THAT IS FANTASTIC.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THAT IS A HELL OF A GREEN NEW DEAL.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
ALL RIGHT, HE DID THIS ON CAMERA.
HERE'S HIS OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:
>> AS I SAID WHEN I RAN FOR PRESIDENT, NO ONE SHOULD BE IN
JAIL JUST FOR USING OR POSSESSING MARIJUANA.
I'M ANNOUNCING A PARDON FOR ALL PRIOR FEDERAL OFFENSES-- FEDERAL
OFFENSES-- FOR THE SIMPLE POSSESSION OF MARIJUANA.
>> Stephen: THERE IT IS.
HE'S PARDONING-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THERE IT IS.
BOOM!
HE'S PARDONING FEDERAL MARIJUANA SIMPLE-POSSESSION OFFENSES-- ALL
OF THEM, FROM THE DANKEST NUGS TO THE HARSHEST DITCHWEED.
I'M TALKIN' POT, GRASS, MARY JANE, REEFER, THE SWEET STICKY
ICKY, GANJA, CHOOM-CHOOM, LIME PILLOWS, STICKS N' STEMS, HERB,
CHRONIC YAYMEN, THE DEVIL'S LETTUCE, WACKY TOBACKY,
ACAPULCO GOLD, JAZZ CIGARETTES, AND THE RIGHT HONORABLE REVEREND
AL GREEN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IS THAT ONE?
AL GREEN?
IS THAT ONE, THE REVEREND?
REF VAND GREEN?
TODAY, DARK BRANDON DARK BRANDON BECAME DANK BRANDON.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THE PRESIDENT'S-- GOOD POSTER.
PUT THAT IN YOUR-- GET THAT POSTER FOR YOUR DORM ROOM.
( LAUGHTER ) I GOTTA SAY, ALL DAY THE
PRESIDENT'S BEEN PRETTY CHILL, A CHILL, CHILL MOOD ALL DAY.
I THINK HE KNEW THIS WAS COMING.
HE HAD THIS ON HIS MIND.
CASE IN POINT: THIS AFTERNOON, HE WAS OUTSIDE
THE WHITE HOUSE TAKING REPORTERS' QUESTIONS ABOUT OPEC,
AND HE GAVE A LITTLE HINT THAT HE DIDN'T WANT TO ANSWER THOSE
QUESTIONS.
IT'S SUBTLE.
LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN PICK UP.
ON IT.
>> IT IS A DISAPPOINTMENT, AND IT SAYS THAT THEY'RE A PROBLEM.
( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERING )
IT'S A ISAPPOINTMENT.
THEY'RE A PROBLEM.
UH-OH, WATCH OUT!
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
AM I BACKING AWAY, OR AM I JUST GETTING SMALLER!
THERE'S NO WAY OF KNOWING!
YOU THINK THAT BLOWS YOUR MIND NOW.
WAIT UNTIL THE ANNOUNCEMENT I MAKE AT 4:20.
BOOM!" BIDEN LOOKS LIKE--
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
BIDEN LOOKS LIKE HE'S HAVING FUN THERE.
ALTHOUGH, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS HAVING FUN, HE MADE SURE
EVERYONE AROUND HIM WAS SAFE.
JIM, CAN WE SEE THAT AGAIN WITH THE SOUND TURNED UP?
BEEP!
>> Stephen: YESTERDAY, THE PRESIDENT WAS DOWN IN
FLORIDA, AND SO WAS HIS PREDECESSOR, FORMER PRESIDENT
THE NOTORIOUS K.F.C.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
AND-- OH, I COULD GO FOR SOME.
>> Louis: THAT'S GOOD.
ORIGINAL >> Stephen: HE GAVE A SPEECH TO
THE HISPANIC LEADERSHIP CONFERENCE IN MIAMI.
AND HE ADDRESSED WHAT HE BELIEVES IS THE MOST IMPORTANT
SUBJECT: HIMSELF.
>> YOU PROBABLY READ AND HEARD ABOUT THE DOCUMENT HOAX.
HAS ANYONE HEARD ABOUT THE DOCUMENT HOAX, THE HELICOPTERS
FLYING OVER MAR-A-LAGO?
WELL, THEY'RE GIVING US ABOUT $5 BILLION WORTH OF FREE
PUBLICITY, I WILL SAY.
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH, IT'S GREAT PUBLICITY.
MAR-A-LAGO: COME FOR THE WAFFLE BAR, STAY FOR THE NUCLEAR
SECRETS.
AT THE WAFFLE BAR.
( LAUGHTER ) THE FORMER PRESIDENT HAS
ENDORSED A LOT OF TERRIBLE CANDIDATES THIS CYCLE, NONE
WORSE THAN GEORGIA G.O.P. SENATE NOMINEE AND HIKER LOST IN THE
PARKING LOUT.
HERSCHEL WALKER.
ALL WEEK, AMERICA'S BEEN BUZZING ABOUT THE REPORT THAT WALKER
PAID FOR A FORMER GIRLFRIEND TO GET AN ABORTION.
WALKER DENIED IT, BUT THE WOMAN HAD A RECEIPT FROM THE CLINIC, A
CHECK FROM HIM, AND A GREETING CARD SIGNED BY WALKER HE SENT
FIVE DAYS LATER.
DESPITE ALL THIS EVIDENCE, WALKER DENIED ANY OF THIS
HAPPENED, ADDING HE HAD NO IDEA WHO THIS WOMAN COULD POSSIBLY
BE.
SO LAST NIGHT, SHE GAVE HIM A LITTLE HINT WHEN SHE ANNOUNCED
SHE ALSO HAD A CHILD WITH HIM.
COME ON!
COME ON, MAN!
HOW MANY SECRET KIDS DOES THIS GUY HAVE?
DOES HE KNOW HE DOESN'T GET A FREE SMOOTHIE AFTER 10?
( LAUGHTER ) SMOOTH-THEE.
WALKER ADDRESSED THE ISSUE THIS MORNING.
KIND OF: >> DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO
THIS ALLEGED FORMER LOVER OF YOURS IS WHO SAYS YOU PAID FOR
AN ABORTION AND FATHERED A CHILD?
ANY IDEA WHATSOEVER?
>> I HAVE NO IDEA AT ALL.
>> Stephen: OKAY, INTERESTING.
QUICK FOLLOW-UP: WHY ARE YOU RUNNING FOR SENATE?
>> I HAVE NO IDEA AT ALL.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: OKAY.
OKAY.
NOW, BASED ON THIS NEXT CLIP, WALKER DOESN'T SEEM TOO CURIOUS
TO LEARN THIS WOMAN'S ADENT.
>> HAVE YOU REACHED OUT TO ANY OF THE MOTHERS OF YOUR CHILDREN?
>> NO.
>> WHY NOT?
>> WHY DO I NEED TO.
>> Stephen: MAYBE TO FIND OUT HOW YOUR CHILDREN ARE DOING.
REMEMBER, THE ONES YOU DON'T REMEMBER.
PLUS, THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM, STATISTICALLY, IT'S PROBABLY ONE
OF THEIR BIRTHDAYS.
IN ADDITION TO COMPLETELY FORGETTING HER, THE ANONYMOUS
MOTHER OF WALKER'S CHILD IS NOT THRILLED WITH WALKER'S "HOLIER
THAN THOU" ACT, SAYING, "I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYWHERE IN THE
BIBLE WHERE IT SAYS 'HAVE FOUR KIDS WITH FOUR DIFFERENT WOMEN
WHILE YOU'RE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.'"
IT'S TRUE.
IT'S NOT FROM THE BIBLE.
THAT QUOTE IS ACTUALLY FROM JESUS'S SEX-POSITIVE COUSIN
TRAVIS.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
HIS MIRACLE WAS TURNING WATER INTO WHITE CLAW.
( LAUGHTER ) NO LAW ON THE CLAW.
BING!
LYING ABOUT KNOWING THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILD ISN'T WALKER'S ONLY
TROUBLING HEADLINE TODAY.
THERE'S ALSO THIS ONE: "HERSCHEL WALKER CLAIMED HE
SUPERVISED SIX HOSPITALS.
HE DIDN'T."
OKAY, I'M KIND OF RELIEVED THAT'S A LIE.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ).
IMAGINE-- JUST IMAGINE-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IMAGINE BEING WHEELED INTO SURGERY AND HEARING, "I KNOW
YOU'RE NERVOUS, BUT DON'T WORRY.
THIS ENTIRE FACILITY IS BEING SUPERVISED BY HERSCHEL WALKER."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
OKAY, GIVE ME THE SCALPEL, PLEASE.
SCALPEL, PLEASE.
APPARENTLY, HERSCHEL COOKED UP THIS LIE BACK IN 2011, WHEN HE
MISSED THE PREMIERE OF HIS ESPN DOCUMENTARY, SAYING.
"I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK.
I HAVE THIS FOOD SERVICE COMPANY, I HAVE A DRAPERY
COMPANY, AND I SUPERVISE SIX HOSPITALS AROUND THE UNITED
STATES.
I HAVE TO HEAD BACK TO ARKANSAS FOR A SALES MEETING AT MY
CHICKEN FACTORY."
WOW.
THAT IS A GUY REALLY DESPERATE TO GET OUT OF AN INVITATION:
"YOUR WEDDING?
I'M SORRY I CAN'T MAKE IT.
I GOTTA GET BACK TO MY JOB AS AN ASTRONAUT BEEKEEPER.
THE MOON'S NOT GOING TO POLLINATE ITSELF."
( APPLAUSE ) NO SURPRISE, WALKER'S FINANCIAL
DISCLOSURE FORMS DO NOT INDICATE HE EVER OWNED OR RAN HOSPITALS.
BUT THERE IS PROOF THAT WALKER WORKED FOR A NOW-DEFUNCT FIRM
CALLED ASCENDHEALTH CORPORATION AS A "MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS
AMBASSADOR."
AND HE IS DOING A GREAT JOB.
BECAUSE EVERY TIME I SEE HERSCHEL WALKER ON TV, I AM
ACUTELY AWARE OF MENTAL HEALTH.
WALKER IS NOT THE ONLY UNUSUAL NOMINEE ENDORSED BY THE FORMER
PRESIDENT.
TAKE PENNSYLVANIA GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATE AND PEANUT M&M WITH
ALL THE CANDY SUCKED OFF, ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) DOUG MASTRIANO.
IN A SPEECH THIS WEEK, MASTRIANO PLEDGED TO BAN POLE DANCING FROM
SCHOOLS.
( LAUGHTER ) ARE WE SURE HE KNOWS WHAT A
SCHOOL IS?
"THREE TIMES A WEEK, I HEAD DOWN TO THE SCHOOL AND TALK TO THE
STUDENTS-- CHEYENNE, CINNAMON, AMBER.
I TELL YOU, THAT SCHOOL MAKES THE BEST MAI TAIS.
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
MY GUESTS ARE CATE BLANCHETT AND STAR OF "THE PATIENT," DOMHNALL
GLEESON.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, MY WIFE EVIE, AND I HAVE SOME FIRST
DRAFTS OF ANNIVERSARY CARDS.
STICK AROUND.
I'M GONNA.
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND, LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW BAND!
( APPLAUSE ) MMM.
LOUIS, LOUIS, TWO FANTASTIC GUESTS TONIGHT.
>> Louis: YEAH!
>> Stephen: FIRST OF ALL, DOMHNALL GLEESON IS GOING TO BE
OUT HERE IN JUST A LITTLE BIT.
YOU KNOW HIM FROM THE ROB THE X MACHINA," AND THE "STAR WAR"
MOVIES AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE ACTRESSES OF ALL TIME, THE GREAT
CATE BLANCHETT IS GOING TO BE HERE TONIGHT.
( APPLAUSE ) UNBELIEVABLE.
FOLKS, IF YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I LOVE EVIE.
AND I HEAR YOU SAYING, "STEVE, IF YOU LOVE HER SO MUCH, WHY
DON'T YOU MARRY HER?" WELL, SPOILER ALERT, I DID!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) OKAY, THAT'S EMBARRASSING.
THAT'S EMBARRASSING.
THIS PHOTO-- THAT'S AN EMBARRASSING PHOTO.
THE PAPARAZZI SNAPPED THAT WHEN WE WERE GOING OUT TO GET THE
PAPER IN THE MORNING.
THEY ARE RELENTLESS.
THERE'S A VERY SPECIAL DATE FOR US COMING UP.
IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
WE WILL BE CELEBRATING 29 YEARS OF SALUTE-- SALUTE BLISS.
( APPLAUSE ) 29 YEARS OF ABSOLUTE BLISS, PLUS
HOWEVER EVIE FEELS IT'S BEEN GOING.
NOW, NO ANNIVERSARY IS COMPLETE WITHOUT A THOUGHTFUL CARD, BUT
PEOPLE DON'T ALWAYS GET THOSE RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AROUND.
SO TONIGHT, WE'LL TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF THE EARLY ATTEMPTS IN
OUR SEGMENT: "FIRST DRAFTS."
( APPLAUSE ) OF COURSE, ANNIVERSARY CARDS GO
WITH GIFTS.
AND THE 29th YEAR IS THE FURNITURE ANNIVERSARY.
SO TO CELEBRATE, I GOT EVIE A CHAIR RIGHT NEXT TO ME.
PLEASE WELCOME MY INCREDIBLE WIFE, EVIE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU'RE A VISION.
THERE YOU GO.
HAVE A SEAT.
THERE YOU GO.
>> THANK YOU!
>> Stephen: VERY NICE.
( APPLAUSE ) ARE.
>> Stephen: THAT'S THE MOVIE STAR ENTRANCE RIGHT THERE.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: DARLING, HERE YOU GO.
I GOT YOU A LITTLE CHAMPAGNE FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY.
>> THANK YOU!
WHOA!
>> Stephen: I GOT YOU SOME FLOWERS.
THESE ARE WAY TOO BIG FOR THIS BIT.
>> HELLO!
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
HELLO, DARLING.
>> THEY'RE MY FAVORITE.
>> Stephen: I KNOW THEY ARE.
I'M GOING TO PUT THEM DOWN HERE.
SO I KNOW THEY'RE HERE.
DARLING, YOU KNOW HOW THIS WORKS.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: DO YOU WANT TO SAY HOW THIS WORKS OR SHALL I SAY
HOW THIS WORKS.
>> YOU DO.
IN FIRST DRAFTS, I SHOW YOU A LOVELY ANNIVERSARY CARD THAT
MADE IT TO MARKET.
THIS IS THE ONE THAT WAS FINISHED AND STOLE BY THE CARD
COMPANY.
AND THEN I SHOW YOU THE NOT-SO-LOVELY FIRST DRAFT.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: IS THE PREMISE ESTABLISHED.
>> HERE, CHEERS.
>> Stephen: HERE'S TO 29 MORE.
>> 29 MORE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> THAT'S A LOT OF YEARS.
>> Stephen: THAT IS A LOT YEARS.
DID YOU THINK WE'D MAKE THIS THIS FAR.
>> YES!
DID YOU NOT?
>> Stephen: IT'S A COMEDY SHOW.
I'M JUST MAKING JOKES.
>> WHAT I SAID NO.
WHAT IF I WAS LIKE, "NO, I THOUGHT WE'D ONLY LAST FIVE
YEARS.
GLCHMENT WOW, I'D BE REALLY HURT.
( LAUGHTER ) CAN I SEE THE FIRST ONE, PLEASE.
THIS CARD SAYS, "IF I COULD, I WOULD MARRY YOU ALL OVER AGAIN,
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MY LOVE."
THAT IS NOT ONLY SWEET, BUT ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID, "IF I COULD, I WOULD MARRY YOU ALL
OVER AGAIN, MAINLY SO I COULD NOTDO ALL THOSE TEQUILA SHOTS
AT OUR RECEPTION.
SORRY I THREW UP ON YOUR DAD.
WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER-- OKAY, SO, WE'RE COMING UP-- WE'RE COMING
UP ON 29 YEARS.
WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER MOST ABOUT OUR WEDDING?
>> HOW HUNGRY I WAS.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING.
>> IF THERE IS ANYBODY OUT THERE GETTING MARRIED, EAT, EAT DURING
YOUR WEDDING.
I DIDN'T HAVE A BITE TO EAT ALL DAY.
>> Stephen: I WAS JUST SHAKING HANDS AND THANKING PEOPLE AND
THE NEXT THING I KNEW THEY WERE SAYING, "YOU HAVE TO LEAVE SO
PEOPLE CAN THROW THINGS AT YOU."
DO YOU REMEMBER TOSSING YOUR BOUQUET?
>> YUP, YUP, YUP.
CAN WE SAY WHO-- ABOUT WHO -- >> Stephen: BROADWAY ACTRESS
GENETIC HOFFMAN.
>> WAS AT OUR WEDDING, AND I THREW IT, AND SHE MISSED IT AND
THREW HERSELF ON THE GROUND.
AND DID A WHOLE BIG THING.
I MEAN, SHE'S AN ACTRESS.
BUT MY PARENTS FRIENDS CAN NOT KNOW THAT SHE WAS AN ACTRESS.
AND THEY THOUGHT -- >> Stephen: SHE WAS REALLY
DISTRAUGHT.
>> REALLY DISTRAUGHT.
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH.
IT WAS VERY FUNNY.
>> Stephen: SHE HAD A GREAT WEEKEND.
>> EVERYBODY HAD A GREAT WEEKEND.
I MEAN, WE HAD A FUN TIME.
THEY HAD A GREAT WEEKEND.
>> Stephen: YES.
I WOULD LIKE TO GO BACK AND ATTEND OUR WEDDING.
IT SEEMED LIKE A LOT OF FUN.
>> I THINK IT WAS.
>> Stephen: CAN I HAVE THE NEXT CARD, PLEASE?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: I LOVE THIS ONE.
IT SAYS I WON THE GE-LOTTO WITH YOU.
YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE A PIZZA OF MY HEART.
BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID, "I WON THE GE-LOTs TO WITH YOU.
SORRY I CAN ONLY BOINCHG WITH THE LIGHTS ON.
THAT'S INAPPROPRIATE.
>> THAT'S WHY THEY DIDN'T SELL IT.
I HAVEN'T GOTTEN YOU ANYTHING FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY?
>> THIS IS FUN.
>> Stephen: REALLY.
>> THIS IS NICE.
I HAVE FLOWERS, CHAMPAGNE, ALL MY FRIENDS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: WOW.
HOLLYWOOD HAS CHANGED YOU.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I REMEMBER?
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER?
>> ANOTHER THING I REMEMBER ABOUT OUR WEDDING IS HOW
TERRIFIED I WAS OF YOUR AUNT MARGARET.
REMEMBER YOUR AUNT MARGARET.
>> >> Stephen: MY FATHER'S TWIN.
>> I HAD NEVER MET HER BEFORE AND SHE SMOKED AND SHE WAS 110
YEARS OLD ALREADY.
>> Stephen: SHE HAD SKIN LIKE FINE CORINTHIAN LEATHER.
>> SHE SAID, WELL, AREN'T YOU A PRETTY LITTLE THING."
I WAS 30 YEARS OLD.
I THOUGHT I WAS 13.
I WAS LIKE,s, AH, HI."
SHE SCARED ME SO MUCH.
>> Stephen: SHE AND MY GREAT-AUNT, THE TWO OF THEM,
THEY WERE SMOKING IN A FACILITY THAT ALLOWED NO SMOKING.
>>E YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND THEY HAD TAKEN-- THEY MADE AN ASHTRAY OUT
OF THE SIGN THAT SAID,s, NO SMOKING."
THESE WERE TOUGH DAMES.
YOU KNOW WHAT MARGARET ALWAYS CALLS ME.
>> THE ROTTEN ONE.
>> Stephen: YOU ROTTEN KID.
I CALLED HER UP ONCE AND SAID, "MARGARET, IT'S JIM'S SON."
SHE SAID, "WHICH ONE?" I SAID, "THE ROTTEN ONE."
AND SHE SAID, "HOW ROTTEN?" AND I SAID "THE ROTTENEST?"
AND SHE SAID, "HELLO, STEPHEN, HOW ARE YOU?"
( APPLAUSE ) HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, DARLING.
THIS IS THE LAST CARD.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: WAS THAT OMINOUS?
>> YES, IT WAS.
THIS CARD SAYS, "10 YEARS AGO TODAY WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY
LIFE AND EVERY DAY SINCE BECAUSE NOW YOU'RE MY WIFE.
>> THAT'S SWEET!
>> Stephen: FANTASTIC.
BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID, "10 YEARS AGO WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY
LIFE I CAN'T BELIEVE I MET BON JOVI
AT A JAMBA JUICE.
HE WAS SO NICE."
EVIE MAGEE.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, DARLING!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CATE
BLANCHETT.
THERE YOU GO.
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS A TWO-TIME
ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING ACTRESS YOU KNOW FROM "BLUE JASMINE,"
"THOR: RAGNAROK," AND "THE LORD OF THE RINGS."
SHE NOW STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE, "TAR."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," CATE BLANCHETT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY.
I HAVE TO-- I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
WE'RE SO HAPPY.
YOU'RE ON THE EDGE OF TEARS.
I'M JUST CURIOUS.
WHAT DID THAT SONG MEAN TO YOU?
>> NO, IT'S THE PEOPLE CLAPPING.
NO, NO, IT'S-- NO, I'M GOING TO CRY BECAUSE THAT'S MY SONG.
MY HUSBAND, WHO IS IN THE DRESSING ROOM, THAT'S OUR SONG.
I AM PROOF, IT'S OUR FAVORITE SONG.
OUR KIDS REMARRIED US.
>> Stephen: DID YOU KNOW THIS?
>> Louis: YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: THAT'S AN EMOTIONAL-- THAT'S AN EMOTIONAL
STEALTH CRUISE MISSILE.
>> THAT'S THE SONG WE PLAYED.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WONDERFUL.
>> RIGHT BEFORE WE HAVE OUR YEARLY SEX.
I LOVE YOU-- I LOVE YOU, BABY!
>> Stephen: DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS INTERVIEW LATER--
>> 26 YEARS.
26 YEARS.
>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS.
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
>> BUT IT'S FABULOUS.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU HAVE FABULOUS SEX ONCE A YEAR, IT KEEPS YOU
GOING.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
HI!
>> Stephen: LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
>> I KNOW, YOU'RE IN CLOTHES.
THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU, YOU WERE IN YOUR PAJAMAS.
>> Stephen: AND YOU WERE IN YOUR PAJAMAS AND IT HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH YEARLY SEX.
IT WAS DURING COVID THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE, AND YOU WERE IN
FRONT OF BOOKSHELVES AND YOU WERE IN YOUR PAJAMAS AND I GOT
MINE.
>> BECAUSE YOU WERE NAKED AND IT WAS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE.
>> Stephen: COVID WAS A DIFFERENT TIME.
YOU COULDN'T SEE ANYTHING OVER THE GALLON OF ICE CREAM IN MY
LAP.
YOU KNOW I'M AN ENORMOUS FAN.
PEOPLE KNOW I'M AN ENORMOUS FAN OF SO MANY OF YOUR ROLES.
>> "LORD OF THE RINGS."
>> Stephen: OF COURSE, YOU'RE THE PERFECT GALADRIEL-- YES, I
DO REMEMBER.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT'S NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE HERE.
I KEEP THIS PHOTO BACK BEHIND THE DESKS AT ALL TIMES.
THERE YOU ARE.
>> THE VERY FIRST TIME I MET YOU YOU WERE DRESSED AS A HOBBIT.
AND I JUST THOUGHT THAT THAT WAS SO UNUSUAL --
>> Stephen: COMCONOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
>> I THOUGHT WHO IS THIS CRAZY MAN.
BUT HERE YOU ARE, DRESSED AS A HUMAN.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY, BRIEFLY.
>> LOOK HOW FAR YOU'VE COME.
>> Stephen: AS SOON AS I GET HOME THE FURRY FEET COME BACK
ON.
YOUR NEW FILM "TAR" PREMIERED AT THE VENICE FILM FESTIVAL.
SIX-MINUTE STANDING OVATION, FANTASTIC REVIEWS.
YOU'RE ALSO AN EXECUTIVE PRODUCER.
>> YES, YES.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT LIKE-- AS EXECUTIVE PRODUCER YOU'RE
HELPING USHER THIS ALONG.
YOU'RE NOT JUST A PERFORMER.
NOSTHAT THIS IS "JUST" PERFORMING.
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO BE THERE FOR THE PREMIERE OF
SOMETHING AND GET THE RESPONSE YOU ALWAYS HOPE FOR?
>> I FEEL VERY CHANGED BY THIS FILM.
YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH AN EXAMINATION OF THE CORRUPTING
NATURE OF POWER.
I MEAN, IT'S SET IN THE CLASSICAL MUSIC WORLD.
IT'S A VERY-- I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY, "IT'S A PERSONAL FILM."
BUT I FELT QUITE EXPANDED BY IT.
SO IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.
WHEN YOU GO TO A FILM FESTIVAL LIKE THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME,
IT'S A LITTLE BIT LIKE GIVING BIRTH IN PUBLIC.
>> Stephen: WOW.
>> YAW, IT'S QUITE EXPOSING.
>> Stephen: THAT WOULD BE A HELL OF A FILM.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU PLAY A CONDUCTOR.
HAD YOU CONDUCTED BEFORE?" >> NO, I LEARNED THE PIANO AS A
GIRL, AND WITH EVERY SUBSEQUENT PREGNANCY I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW, I
WOULD GET BACK AND LEARN THE PIANO AGAIN, PICK IT UP AGAIN.
AND THE SAD THING ABOUT ME AND MY LIFE IS I DON'T GET OFF THE
COUCH UNTIL I HAVE TO FOR A FILM.
>> Stephen: THE ROLE PUTS A GUN TO YOUR HEAD AND SAYS,s,
YOU'RE ANYTHING TO GO LEARN THIS THING."
>> IT DOES.
>> Stephen: IS THIS THE HARDEST THING YOU HAD TO LEARN,
BECOMING FLUENT AT THE PIANO AGAIN?
>> THAT WAS A JOY.
THERE'S A MOMENT IN THE FILM WHERE-- THE CHARACTER IS
COMPOSING A PIECE, SO OBVIOUSLY I HAD TO PLAY THAT, AND THE
WOMAN WHO DID THAT PARTICULAR PART SCORE, SHE DID THE SCORE
FOR "THE JOKER."
BUT I HAD TO PLAY HER COMPOSITION.
AND THERE'S A TEACHING MOMENT IN THE WORLD WHERE I HAD TO PLAY
BACH, AND I HAD TO KNOW IT REALLY WELL.
IT WAS KIND OF GREAT TO GET BACK AT IT.
I NEVER CONDUCTED BEFORE.
STANDING IN FRONT OF THAT ORCHESTRA AND GIVING THE
DOWNBEAT AND HEARING THE FIFTH SYMPHONY COMING BACK AT YOU, I
WAS FOREVER CHANGE.
>> Stephen: WERE YOU CONDUCTING OR WAS THERE SOMEBODY
BEHIND YOU?
>> LIKE THE SWEDISH CHEF.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: YOU SAY THAT MOMENT OF STANDING IN FRONT OF
THE ORCHESTRA AND DOING THE DOWN BEAT AND HEARING THE SOUND COME
OUT OF THE DRESDEN ORCHESTRA.
WHAT DID YOU SEE IN THEIR FACES?
DID YOU FEEL JUDGMENT PRETENDING AT THAT MOMENT WHEN THIS IS
THEIR LIFE?
>> YEAH, FROM THE GUYS IN THE HORN SECTION.
I HAD BEEN WARNED ABOUT THE GUYS IN THE HORN SECTION.
>> Stephen: THAT TRUE?
ARE GUYS IN THE HORN SECTION PARTICULARLY TOUGH?
>> YEAH, NO, I SAID TO THEM IN MY GERMAN, I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS
IMPORTANT TO SPEAK TO THEM IN THEIR LANGUAGE.
I SAID TO THEM , YOU KNOW, "YOU'RE NOT ACTORS.
AND I'M NOT A CONDUCTOR.
AND BETWEEN US, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIND OUR WAY."
BECAUSE THEY WERE PERFORMERS, AND AMAZING, AMAZING ACTORS.
>> Stephen: COULD YOU SPEAK GERMAN BEFORE YOU DID THIS FILM?
>> YES ( SPEAKING GERMAN )
I MEAN-- I MEAN-- ( APPLAUSE )
IT'S VERY, VERY-- IT'S A VERY, VERY-- ACTUALLY, I MEAN, IT'S--
IT WAS A DITTY I LEARNED ABOUT A COFFEE BEAN THAT GOES TO AMERICA
AND AMERICA WAS LOCKED UP AND THE KEY WAS BROKEN.
BUT IT CAME IN USE.
WHEN I WAS BACKPACKING THROUGH EUROPE, I WAS IN SALSBERG AND I
WENT TO THE FESTIVAL THERE, BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS LOVED
CLASSICAL MUSIC.
AND I WAS STAYING AT A BED AND BREAKFAST.
AND WE WERE ALL GIVEN A LOCKER, AND THE KEY TO MY LOCKER FELL
DOWN THE LOO, FELL DOWN THE TOILET.
OH, MY GOODNESS!
HOW DO YOU ASK-- WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
MY WALLET IS IN THERE AND I CAN'T GET MY TICKET.
AND IT CAME FROM THAT MOMENT.
YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN IT'S GOING TO COME IN HANDY.
>> Stephen: YOU HAD TO LEARN THE PIANO AGAIN.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: YOU HAD TO LEARN GERMAN AGAIN?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU ABLE TO PLATE PIANO IN GERMAN?
>> I HAD TO CONDUCT IN GERMAN BECAUSE THE CHARACTER HAD BEEN
THE PRINCIPAL CONDUCTOR FOR SEVEN YEARS.
AND I SAID TO TODD FIELD-- THE MAGICAL TODD FIELD.
OBVIOUSLY, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME BETWEEN DRINKS.
IT'S BEEN 16 YEARS SINCE HIS LAST FILM, "LITTLE IT CHILDREN."
NOT BECAUSE HE'S LAZY.
HE'S PICKY.
I SAID TO HIM I REALLY DID NEED TO CONDUCT IN GERMAN SO I MADE A
ROD FOR MY OWN BACK.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT IF YOU STICK
AROUND I WILL ASK THEM TO STICK AROUND BECAUSE WE WILL BE BACK
WITH MORE CATE BLANCHETT, EVERYBODY.
>> Stephen: I AM HERE WITH THE STAR OF "TAR," CATE BLANCHETT.
I JUST WANT TO POINT OUT THIS AD YOU SAW IN THE "NEW YORK
TIMES--" >> IT'S MYSTERIOUS.
>> Stephen: IT'S MYSTERIOUS.
LOOK AT THIS.
IF YOU CAN GET A SHOT OF THIS.
THE AD FOR "TAR."
BUT DOWN HERE IS SAYS, "EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT STARTS
FRIDAY.
NEW YORK THEATER."
"THEATER ADDRESS GOES HERE."
IT JUST SAYS THAT.
THAT'S A REAL MYSTERY RIGHT OFF THE BAT.
>> IT IS.
WE'RE GOING TO SEND OUT THE POKEMONS.
YOU'LL SEE THE POKEMONS AND KNOW WHERE TO GO.
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT I BELIEVE YOU.
DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC?
YOU SAY YOU LOVE CLASSICAL MUSIC.
DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE COMPOSER?
>> I'M QUITE ECLECTIC.
I DISCOVERED ALEX ROSS WHO IS, YOU KNOW, AN INCREDIBLE MUSIC
JOURNALIST, AND I READ HIM ALL THE TIME.
HE HAD GIVEN A LECTURE, AN ANIMATED LECTURE WITH THE
AUSTRALIAN CHAMBER ORCHESTRA, AND THEY PLAYED ZENAKIS, A GREEK
COMPOSER.
THAT WAS CATACLYSMIC HEARING THAT.
BUT YOU CAN'T LISTEN TO IT ALL THE TIME.
>> Stephen: IS IT MOSTLY CLASSICAL OR DO YOU GO WITH THE
POP MUSIC THERE?
>> I GO WITH A LITTLE BIT OF THIS, A LITTLE BIT OF THAT.
I WILL MIX THE GIRL BAND IN WITH THE-- YEAH.
>> Stephen: GETTING IN THE CAR, CRANKING IT UP WITH YOUR
KIDS IN THE CAR?
>> NO.
THAT'S THE THING.
FOUR KIDS, THE SOUND OF SILENCE, YOU KNOW...
( LAUGHTER ) JOHN CAGE-- YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: "NOBODY TALK!" >> NOBODY'S TALKING.
I HAD A LOT OF MUSIC IN MY LIFE.
BUT THE CACOPHONY IN EVERYDAY LIFE.
THEY GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND THEY GO TO SCHOOL AND YOU THINK
ABOUT PUTTING SOMETHING ON, AND YOU SAY, "NO, I CAN HEAR BIRDS.
I CAN HEAR FLOOR BOARDS CREEK.
I CAN HEAR THE SOUND OF MY INNER MONOLOGUE-- WHICH I DON'T WANT
TO LISTEN TO MOST OF THE TIME.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP HERE FROM THE FILM, IT'S AGAIN
QUITE MYSTERIOUS.
>> WE DON'T WANT TO TELL THE AUDIENCE TOO MUCH.
>> Stephen: I'M JUST SAYS MYSTERIOUS.
>> SHE DRIVES FAST CARS.
SHE RUNS AND SHE SHE CONDUCTS.
AND THESE IN CRISIS.
IS THAT ENOUGH?
GO SEE IT IN CINEMAS.
THIS IS THE THING.
I WANT PEOPLE TO EXPERIENCE IT IN CINEMAS AND KNOW NOTHING
ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: WE DON'T HAVE TO SHOW THE CLIP.
>> I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BE HERE.
I CAN HIDE-- YOU CAN CUT THIS WHOLE THING OUT.
>> Stephen: YOU DEFINITELY HAVE TO BE HERE.
THEY'VE SEEN A LOT OF ME ALREADY.
HERE IS THE TRAILER THAT CATE BROUGHT US.
( SIREN ) ( SCREAMING )
>> IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU.
( LAUGHTER ) >> "TAR" IS IN THEATERS FRIDAY.
CATE BLANCHETT, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH STAR OF "THE PATIENT," DOMHNALL GLEESON.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
TO THE SHOW-GRAM ALREADY IN PROGRESS.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST IS AN ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM
"ABOUT TIME," "EX MACHINA," AND "STAR WARS."
HE NOW STARS IN "THE PATIENT."
>> I WANT TO SHOW HIM-- I WANT TO TEACH HIM HOW TO BEHAVE TO
OTHER PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
I...
I STILL WANT TO DO IT.
>> THANKS.
WAS IT LIKE THAT WITH THE OTHER ONES?
DID THEY DO SOMETHING THAT MADE YOU WANT TO TEACH THEM A LESSON?
>> YES.
THEY WERE ALL-- EVERYONE OF THEM DESERVED IT.
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME, DOMHNALL GLEESON.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: DOMHNALL GLEESON, THERE YOU GO.
>> HELLO!
>> Stephen: HELLO.
SO-- SO NICE TO TALK TO YOU.
I'VE NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO INTERVIEW YOU BEFORE.
BUT I-- I JUST FOUND OUT, SHORTLY BEFORE THE SHOW, THAT I
HAVE ACTUALLY HAD YOU ON MY SHOW BEFORE, THE OLD SHOW.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: IN 2014.
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
>> YEAH.
A LONG TIME AGO.
>> Stephen: YEAH, SO EIGHT YEARS AGO, YOU CAME ON AND
PLAYED KEYBOARDS IN A BAND FOR A MOVIE CALLED "FRANK."
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT IS RIGHT THERE, MICHAEL FASBENDER IN THE
HEAD.
AND THAT'S YOU RIGHT THERE.
PLAYING KEYBOARDS RIGHT THERE.
( APPLAUSE ) AND THE BAND THAT APPEARS IN THE
MOVIE IS CALLED...
>> THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH.
THE IDEA WAS THE BAND'S NAME WAS UNPRONOUNCABLE.
AND YOU NAILED IT.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
.I LIKE TO DO THAT.
>> YOU CAN IMAGINE MY DISMAY WHEN A FEW WEEKS AGO YOU HAD
STEVE CARELL ON THE SHOW, AND YOU SAID, "NOW, IN THIS SERIES
YOU ARE WITH DOMHNALL GLEESON."
IT WAS A CAR CRASH.
IT WAS A MESS.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN'T BLAME ME.
IRISH NAMES ARE IMPOSSIBLE.
>> I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS FROM A COAL-BERT.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: IT'S A FAIR COP.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
>> THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW, THE OTHER GUEST WE HAVE ON TONIGHT
IS THE GREAT CATE BLANCHETT, AND HAVE YOU WORKED WITH HER BEFORE?
>> I'VE NEVER-- I'VE NEVER WORKED WITH HER.
BUT I MET HER ONCE BEFORE, AND IT WAS A BIG-- LIKE, A BIG DEAL
FOR ME BECAUSE I LOVE HER AS AN ACTOR, OBVIOUSLY.
WHEN I WAS 19 I DID MY FIRST JORK A MARTIN McDONOUGH PLAY,
THAT TIME FOR SOME REASON-- NO, I KNOW THE REASON.
PEOPLE USED TO CALL ME CATE ALL THE TIME.
MY WHOLE CAST WOULD CALL ME CATE.
BECAUSE I LOOKED REALLY LIKE CATE BLANCHETT WHEN I WAS 19
YEARS OLD.
SHE DOESN'T DO THAT.
>> Stephen: NO, I SEE IT, THE BONE-- THE BONE STRUCTURE IS
THERE, EXACTLY.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
AND IT WAS REALLY INTENSE.
I WOULD WALK DOWN THE STREET AND PEOPLE WOULD STOP ME --
>> Stephen: YOU MEAN NOT PEOPLE PULLING YOUR LEGS.
STRANGERS.
>> PEOPLE WOULD STOP ME AND SAY, "DO YOU KNOW--" AND I WOULD SAY,
"YES, I KNOW, I LOOK LIKE CATE BLANCHETT."
AND THEY WOULD SAY, "I'M VERY SORRY, SCBTS LEAVE.
WHEN I MET HER YEARS LATER, IT WAS KIND OF LIKE BACKSTAGE AT
THE BAFTAs-- I'VE BEEN TO THE-- I WAS NOT NOMINATED.
SHE WAS.
AND I MET HER IN A CORRIDOR RIGHT BEFORE IT.
AND SOMEBODY INTRODUCED ME.
AND I WAS JUST THINKING, DON'T SAY, "WE LOOK-- DO YOU GET
PEOPLE SAYING YOU LOOK LIKE DOMHNALL GLEESON!"
AND I WAS LIKE DON'T, DON'T DO IT.
DON'T GET WEIRD WITH THE GREAT CATE BLANCHETT.
>> Stephen: HARD NOT TO.
>> I SAID, "I'M A HUGE FAN OF YOUR WORK.
I'D LOVE TO WORK WITH YOU SOME DAY, AND IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET
YOU."
AND SHE WAS VERY NICE BACK.
AND I WALKED AWAY, STRAIGHT INTO THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: YOU'RE NOW STARRING IN "THE PATIENT" WITH
MY OLD BUDDY, STEVE CARELL, AS YOU POINTED OUT.
HE'S A VERY-- HE'S A VERY PLEASANT GUY.
HE'S A LOVELY FELLOW.
DID YOU HAVE FUN WORKING WITH HIM?
>> I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT.
I MEAN, IT'S QUITE A SERIOUS SHOW.
IT'S VERY TENSE.
IT'S DRAMATIC-- IT'S FUNNY IN PLACES AND ALL THE REST.
BUT STEVE, LIKE, SO THE SETUP OF THE SHOW IS I PLAY A SERIAL
KILLER WHO KIDNAPS A THERAPIST AND KEEPS HIM CHAINED UP IN MY
BASEMENT TO DO THERAPY WITH ME.
SO THAT I WILL NOT KILL AGAIN.
>> Stephen: STEVE SAID HE INSISTED ON REAL CHAINS.
>> HE WAS.
AND WITH A FULL-ON MANACLE, AND HE COULDN'T LEAVE.
IT WAS REALLY A KIND OF INTENSE AND KIND OF HEAVY FOR HIM.
AND WE'D BE LEAVING IN THE EVENINGS, AND HE WOULD BE
SAYING-- I THINK IT WAS GETTING ON TOP OF HIM.
IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT.
AND I WOULD SAY, "ARE YOU OKAY?" "YES, IT'S A HEAVY LOAD TO
CARRY."
AND I WOULD SAY, "YES."
BECAUSE I WAS DOING FINE.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE PLAYING THE PSYCHO.
>> I'M KILLING PEEP, DRIVING AROUND IN MY TRUCK.
I'M FINE.
HE WAS JUST CHAINED UP THE WHOLE TIME.
>> Stephen: WHAT WAS IT LIKE-- LIKE DID YOU HAVE TO FIND A PART
OF YOURSELF THAT WOULDN'T MIND STRANGLING PEOPLE?
>> YEAH.
AND IT WAS -- >> Stephen: HOW HARD WAS THAT
FOR YOU TO-- >> IT WAS RIGHT THERE.
WHEN I WAS WATCHING THE SHOW AND YOU MISPRONOUNCED MY NAME I'M
LIKE I'M GOING TO ( BLEEP ).
>> Stephen: NOW, I'VE GOT YOUR DAD, BRENDAN GLEASON-- DID I
PRONOUNCE HIS NAME CORRECTLY?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
HE'S MY GUEST ON MONDAY.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: ANYTHING I SHOULD ASK HIM?
HOW SHOULD I-- HOW SHOULD I NAIL HIM?
>> WHAT?
SAY MY NAME.
>> Stephen: DOMHNALL.
>> YOU CAN ASK HIM WHY HE NAMED ME THAT WAY.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: SO IT'S NOT JUST
ME.
THIS HAS BEEN A CROSS FOR YOU TO BEAR, PEOPLE MISPRONOUNCING YOUR
NAME.
>> MY BROTHER'S NAME IS BRIE-AN, BUT IT'S SPELLED BRIAN.
THERE'S NO GIVEAWAY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S CRUELTY.
THAT WOULD BE LIKE BEING NAMED COLBERT AND SPELLING IT
COAL-BERT.
>> INSANE, YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: HERE YOU ARE.
THERE'S YOU AND YOUR BROTHER, BRIAN.
THERE'S YOU, THERE'S BRIAN.
THERE'S YOUR DAD.
WHAT'S IT LIKE TO PERFORM WITH THE FAMILY?
>> IT'S THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> YES.
THEY'RE LIKE MY FAVORITE PEOPLE.
I'VE GOT TWO OTHER BROTHERS WHO ARE ALSO MY FAVORITE PEOPLE, AND
MY MAM.
AS A GROUP, THEY'RE MY FAVORITE PEOPLE.
AND GETTING TO WORK WITH GREAT PEOPLE WHO ARE ALSO GREAT AT
WHAT THEY DO IS ONE OF THE JOYS OF GETTING TO WORK IN SHOW BIZ
OR WHATEVER.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU'RE FAMILY, AND WHEN IT'S OVER, DO
THEY GIVE YOU NOTES?
DO THEY GIVE YOU FAMILY NOTES.
>> DO NOT TRY TO BREAK UP THE GLEASONS STEPHEN.
WE WILL BREAK YOU.
>> Stephen: THAT'S FAIR ENOUGH.
NEW EPISODES OF "THE PATIENT" ARE AVAILABLE ON HULU ON
TUESDAYS.
DOMHNALL GLEESON, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATESHOW."
STICK AROUND FOR JAMES CORDEN.
GOOD NIGHT.