1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:05,271 >> AT LAST NIGHT'S PENNSYLVANIA SENATE DEBATE, G.O.P. CANDIDATE 2 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,941 DR. OZ REVEALED WHO HE THINKS SHOULD BE INVOLVED IN MEDICAL 3 00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:11,010 DECISIONS. 4 00:00:11,077 --> 00:00:12,212 >> AS A PHYSICIAN, I'VE BEEN IN THE ROOM WHEN THERE ARE SOME 5 00:00:12,278 --> 00:00:14,280 DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS HAPPENING. 6 00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,415 I DON'T WANT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT INVOLVED WITH THAT AT 7 00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:18,385 ALL. 8 00:00:18,451 --> 00:00:20,787 I WANT WOMEN, DOCTORS, LOCAL POLITICAL LEADERS, LETTING THE 9 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,390 DEMOCRACY THAT'S ALWAYS ALLOWED OUR NATION TO THRIVE TO PUT THE 10 00:00:23,456 --> 00:00:25,458 BEST IDEAS FORWARD. 11 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:31,498 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> TONIGHT ON "LOCAL POLITICAL 12 00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:33,967 LEADER HOSPITAL": >> WE'RE LOSING HIM! 13 00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:35,068 >> WOW, WHAT A MESS. 14 00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:38,972 THAT LOOKS MORE TANGLED THAN THAT DOWNTOWN INTERSECTION 15 00:00:39,038 --> 00:00:40,373 BEFORE WE PUT IN THAT FOUR-WAY STOP-- MY IDEA. 16 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:50,984 >> NEXT WEEK ON "LOCAL POLITICAL LEADER HOSPITAL." 17 00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:53,987 ( DING ) >> YOU GUYS MIND IF I JOIN IN? 18 00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:54,621 I HAVE ALL THE PROPER PERMITS. 19 00:00:57,490 --> 00:01:02,128 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 20 00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:09,936 TONIGHT: CAN BE AND SWITCH. 21 00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:12,472 PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: AUBREY PLAZA 22 00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:13,339 AND NIKOLE HANNAH-JONES 23 00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:21,948 FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW BAND. 24 00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:25,318 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 25 00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,387 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 26 00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:52,145 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 27 00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:53,613 GOOD TO SEE YOU. 28 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:54,013 THAT'S RIGHT. 29 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,315 THAT'S RIGHT. 30 00:01:55,381 --> 00:01:56,783 THAT'S RIGHT. 31 00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:57,951 THAT'S THE MAN RIGHT THERE. 32 00:01:58,017 --> 00:02:00,987 THAT'S THE MAN RIGHT THERE. 33 00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,289 >> Audience: STEPHEN! 34 00:02:03,356 --> 00:02:03,923 STEPHEN! 35 00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:05,925 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! 36 00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:09,929 UP THERE... 37 00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:15,034 ♪ ♪ ♪ WOOO-OOO! 38 00:02:15,101 --> 00:02:16,636 THERE YOU GO. 39 00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:17,737 THERE IT IS. 40 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,172 THERE IT IS! 41 00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:21,374 RIGHT THERE. 42 00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:22,775 PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY. 43 00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:23,877 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 44 00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:27,480 DOWN HERE, UP THERE, OUT THERE, ALL AROUND THE WORLD. 45 00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:29,749 WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW." 46 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:30,717 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 47 00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:31,484 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 48 00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:35,054 WE ARE LESS-- IS THIS TRUE? 49 00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:36,055 WHAT IS THIS? 50 00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:37,290 THIS IS WEDNESDAY. 51 00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:41,194 SO WE ARE LESS THAN TWO WEEKS FROM THE MOST IMPORTANT MIDTERMS 52 00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:45,431 THIS YEAR. 53 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:49,335 AND IF THERE'S ONE THING WE KNOW, IT'S THAT NO ONE CAN TELL 54 00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:52,639 YOU WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. 55 00:02:52,705 --> 00:02:53,940 HERE'S WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. 56 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:58,044 FOR THE NEXT 13 DAYS: THE NEWS MEDIA'S GOING TO YANK OUR CHAIN 57 00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,079 LIKE THEY'RE TRYING TO START A LEAF BLOWER. 58 00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:01,915 CASE IN POINT: AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MONTH, DEMOCRATS HELD A 59 00:03:01,981 --> 00:03:04,350 THREE-POINT ADVANTAGE ON THE GENERIC CONGRESSIONAL BALLOT. 60 00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:05,919 THEN, SUDDENLY, REPUBLICANS HELD A FOUR-POINT ADVANTAGE OVER 61 00:03:05,985 --> 00:03:07,320 DEMOCRATS. 62 00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:10,557 NOW TODAY, POLLS SAY DEMOCRATS ARE UP FIVE POINTS. 63 00:03:10,623 --> 00:03:13,459 AND IF THESE POLLS-- ( APPLAUSE ) 64 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:17,830 AND IF THESE POLL RESULTS KEEP UP, EXPECT "ANYTHING" ON 65 00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:18,531 ELECTION NIGHT. 66 00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:21,467 OH, THANK YOU, "NEW YORK TIMES." 67 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:25,805 ( LAUGHTER ) YOU'RE LIKE GOING TO A FORTUNE 68 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:32,512 TELLER WHO SAYS I SEE, OH, YES, I SEE YOUR FUTURE VERY CLEARLY. 69 00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:33,713 YOU WILL MEET A TALL, DARK OR SHORT, BLONDE STRANGER, OR OLD 70 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:34,213 FRIEND, OR NO ONE. 71 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,049 OR GET HIT BY A BUS. 72 00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:37,250 WAIT! 73 00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:37,884 WAIT! 74 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:41,955 SOMETHING'S COMING THROUGH! 75 00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:43,356 YOU ARE GOING TO PAY ME $200. 76 00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:50,930 I ACCEPT VENMOOO." 77 00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:53,933 NOW, WITH THE POLLS THIS POSSIBLY CLOSE-- OR NOT-- LAST 78 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,136 NIGHT WAS A BIG NIGHT, BECAUSE THERE WERE A LOT OF DEBATES, 79 00:03:57,203 --> 00:04:00,073 NONE BIGGER THAN THE ONE IN PENNSYLVANIA, WHERE THERE WAS A 80 00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:05,111 SENATE FACE-OFF BETWEEN REPUBLICAN NOMINEE AND SPOCK'S 81 00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:08,815 DEADBEAT COUSIN, MEHMET OZ, AND DEMOCRATIC LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR 82 00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:11,351 AND BOSS ELF FROM RUDOLPH, JOHN FETTERMAN. 83 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,920 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 84 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:17,924 A DENTIST! 85 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,325 NOW, IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD, THIS PAST SPRING, FETTERMAN SUFFERED 86 00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:23,329 A STROKE. 87 00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:24,631 DOCTORS SAY HE'S DOING VERY WELL IN HIS RECOVERY, BUT IT HAS 88 00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:25,932 AFFECTED HIS AUDITORY PROCESSING, AND THAT LEAD TO 89 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,300 SOME STUMBLES. 90 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,836 FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN FETTERMAN MADE HIS OPENING STATEMENT: 91 00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:30,803 >> LET'S GET STARTED. 92 00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:32,739 MR. FETTERMAN, WE'RE GOING TO BEGIN WITH YOU. 93 00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:33,373 WHAT QUALIFIES YOU TO BE A U.S. 94 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:33,940 SENATOR? 95 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,509 YOU HAVE 60 SECONDS. 96 00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:37,343 >> HI! 97 00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:39,278 GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. 98 00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:40,246 >> Stephen: OKAY. 99 00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:46,686 ( LAUGHTER ) ADMITTEDLY A BIT OF AN ODD WAY 100 00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:53,926 TO START BY SAYING, HI, GOOD NIGHT. 101 00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:56,029 BUT IT'S A VERY COMMON PHRASE I USE ALL THE TIME, LIKE WHEN I 102 00:04:56,095 --> 00:05:00,199 GT TO A PARTY AND HEAR THE WORD "CRYPTO. 103 00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:00,667 THE. 104 00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:01,200 HI, GOOD NIGHT. 105 00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:04,604 GOT TO GO. 106 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:05,938 DR. OZ HAS HAD HIS PROBLEMS RUNNING FOR SENATE IN 107 00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:06,773 PENNSYLVANIA. 108 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,942 FOR ONE THING, HE LIVES IN NEW JERSEY. 109 00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:15,148 ALSO, HE CAME OUT SUPER ANTI-CHOICE IN THE PRIMARY, AND 110 00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:15,915 WHEN ASKED ABOUT THAT LAST NIGHT, HE ACCIDENTALLY SAID WHAT 111 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,083 HE MEANT. 112 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,084 HERE'S WHO OZ THINKS SHOULD BE INVOLVED IN MAKING MEDICAL 113 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,620 DECISIONS FOR WOMEN: >> AS A PHYSICIAN, I'VE BEEN 114 00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:24,924 IN THE ROOM WHEN THERE'S SOME DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS 115 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,059 HAPPENING. 116 00:05:26,125 --> 00:05:26,693 I DON'T WANT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT INVOLVED WITH THAT AT 117 00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:30,463 ALL. 118 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,198 I WANT WOMEN DOCTORS, LOCAL POLITICAL LEADERS... 119 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:38,371 >> Stephen: OH, SO CLOSE! 120 00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:42,642 NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO DISCUSS HEALTH CARE WITH THEIR LOCAL 121 00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,010 POLITICAL LEADERS, ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIVE IN ONE OF THOSE 122 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:49,816 REALLY SMALL TOWNS WHERE THE LOCAL MAYOR IS A DOG: 123 00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:54,353 "MAKING THIS DECISION WAS RUFF, BUT I BELIEVE LIFE BEGINS AT-- 124 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:58,357 SQUIRREL!" ( LAUGHTER ) 125 00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:05,965 ( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 126 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,767 OZ ALSO MADE SOME VERY DUMB COMMENTS ABOUT HIS SUPPORT FOR 127 00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,335 THE FORMER PRESIDENT. 128 00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:10,570 >> I WOULD SUPPORT DONALD TRUMP IF HE DECIDED TO RUN FOR 129 00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:13,106 PRESIDENT. 130 00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:15,341 >> ARE YOU CONCERNED ABOUT THE ONGOING LEGAL INVESTIGATIONS 131 00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:16,242 INVOLVING THE FORMER PRESIDENT? 132 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:17,376 >> I HAVEN'T FOLLOWED THEM VERY CAREFULLY. 133 00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:19,779 I'VE BEEN CAMPAIGNING PRETTY AGGRESSIVELY. 134 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:22,048 THEY'LL WORK THEMSELVES OUT. 135 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:25,785 >> Stephen: THEY'LL WORK THEMSELVES OUT? 136 00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:29,222 HE'S A PRESIDENT BEING ACCUSED OF TREASON, NOT A CAT WHO 137 00:06:29,288 --> 00:06:30,456 SWALLOWED SOME TINSEL! 138 00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:35,695 ( LAUGHTER ) AND-- A LITTLE TAIL. 139 00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:38,998 THERE YOU GO. 140 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,266 LET ME POINT OUT, HE HASN'T BEEN WATCHING, BUT HE HAS AN OPINION 141 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:41,434 ANYWAY. 142 00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:42,702 THAT'S LIKE A COACH SAYING, "HERE'S THE PLAY: GET THE BALL 143 00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:43,770 TO MICHAELS, THEN ZAG LEFT, HIS LEFT. 144 00:06:43,836 --> 00:06:46,372 NO, YOUR LEFT, DOESN'T MATTER. 145 00:06:46,439 --> 00:06:49,442 I'VE NEVER LOOKED AT THIS FIELD BEFORE. 146 00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:52,311 I'VE BEEN BUSY. 147 00:06:52,378 --> 00:06:53,646 WHAT'S PIG SKIN, AND DOES IT COME WITH DIP?! 148 00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,782 ALSO, WHICH ONE OF YOU IS MICHAELS? 149 00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:56,849 DON'T ANSWER THAT. 150 00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:57,517 I WANT TO BE SURPRISED. 151 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:58,384 'HOPE-FOR-THE-BEST' ON THREE! 152 00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:08,861 YAHTZEE!" ( APPLAUSE ) 153 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,363 YESTERDAY THERE WAS ALSO A DEBATE NIGHT FOR MICHIGAN 154 00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:12,431 GOVERNOR GRETCHEN WHITMER AND HER OPPONENT, KIRKLAND BRAND 155 00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:15,902 GRETCHEN WHITMER, TUDOR DIXON. 156 00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:19,772 DIXON IS ANOTHER ANTI-CHOICE MAGA REPUBLICAN. 157 00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:22,809 WELL, TURNS OUT, THAT'S VERY UNPOPULAR IN MICHIGAN, SO SHE'S 158 00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:25,778 FOCUSED HER CAMPAIGN ON ANOTHER ISSUE ENTIRELY, AND IT CAME UP 159 00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:28,714 AGAIN LAST NIGHT >> WHAT I'VE HEARD FROM PARENTS 160 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,483 ACROSS THE STATE IS INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT IN SCHOOL 161 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:33,352 LIBRARIES. 162 00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:36,789 IF YOU HAVE MATERIAL IN YOUR SCHOOL THAT IS SOMETHING THAT 163 00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:38,357 YOU CAN'T READ TO A CHILD AT A BUS STOP BECAUSE YOU WOULD BE 164 00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:42,361 ARRESTED BECAUSE IT IS PORNOGRAPHIC, THEN IT SHOULD NOT 165 00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:46,365 BE IN OUR CLASSROOMS. 166 00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:48,501 >> AH, YES, CHILDHOOD. 167 00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:55,775 WE ALL HAVE HAPPY MEMORIES OF BEDTIME, WHEN YOU'D GET IN YOUR 168 00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:57,476 P.J.s, GRAB A GLASS OF WATER, THEN HEAD ON DOWN TO THE BUS 169 00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:59,545 STOP FOR A BEDTIME STORY FROM A DRIFTER NAMED "SHAMBLES." 170 00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:02,849 HE DOESN'T JUST DO THE VOICES; HE HEARS THEM. 171 00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:04,150 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 172 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:07,787 AND TUDOR-- SURE, HAPPY MEMORIES. 173 00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:12,692 HAPPY MEMORIES. 174 00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:14,293 AND DIXON'S NOT THE ONLY ONE WORRIED ABOUT THIS ISSUE. 175 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:17,964 SO IS THIS GUY SHE TOTALLY MADE UP. 176 00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:19,765 >> I HAD A GENTLEMAN COME UP TO ME JUST A FEW NIGHTS AGO, AND 177 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:25,471 HE SAID, "I FOUND CONTENT IN MY SCHOOL LIBRARY DESCRIBING HOW TO 178 00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:26,706 HAVE SEX TO MY SON. 179 00:08:26,772 --> 00:08:30,476 I WENT TO THE DEMOCRATS, AND I SAID, "I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS 180 00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:31,777 IN THERE." 181 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:32,879 >> Stephen: OKAY. 182 00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:37,984 ( LAUGHTER ) FINE. 183 00:08:38,050 --> 00:08:38,985 THAT HAPPENED. 184 00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:43,789 BUT EVEN IF IT DID, IF SOMEONE FOUND A BOOK THEY 185 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,524 DIDN'T LIKE AT A SCHOOL LIBRARY, WHY WOULD THEY GO TO THE 186 00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:46,792 DEMOCRATS? 187 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,762 THAT'S LIKE SAYING, "EXCUSE ME, IS THIS CHUCK SCHUMER'S OFFICE? 188 00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:52,298 I DIDN'T LIKE THE FINALE OF 'HOUSE OF THE DRAGON.' 189 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,933 ALSO, THIS NATURAL PEANUT BUTTER IS TOO OILY WHEN IT'S IN THE 190 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:58,371 CUPBOARD BUT TOO HARD WHEN IT'S IN THE FRIDGE. 191 00:08:58,437 --> 00:09:00,239 I'M VOTING REPUBLICAN! 192 00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:01,774 GOOD DAY, SIR! 193 00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:03,843 I SAID GOOD DAY!" ( APPLAUSE ) 194 00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:13,686 THEN, FOR REASONS ALL HER OWN, DIXON CONTINUED: 195 00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:15,554 >> WHAT THESE PARENTS ARE TALKING ABOUT ARE NOT TEXTBOOKS 196 00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:18,357 THAT WILL HELP CHILDREN LEARN ABOUT THEMSELVES. 197 00:09:18,424 --> 00:09:20,626 THESE ARE BOOKS THAT ARE DESCRIBING TO CHILDREN HOW TO 198 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:21,661 HAVE SEX. 199 00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:22,929 >> Stephen: SHE'S RIGHT. 200 00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:25,998 WE LOOKED IT UP, AND THERE ARE A LOT OF CLASSIC CHILDREN'S BOOKS 201 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:30,469 TEACHING KIDS ABOUT DOIN' IT. 202 00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:33,039 THERE'S "WHERE THE WILD THINGS BONE," "IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE SOME 203 00:09:33,105 --> 00:09:35,675 NOOKIE," AND "GREEN EGGS AND BUTT STUFF." 204 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,276 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 205 00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:42,848 THERE'S ONE-- OH! 206 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:43,182 OH! 207 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:43,783 WOULD YOU? 208 00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:46,052 COULD YOU? 209 00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:49,789 WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, IN A BOX? 210 00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:54,360 THERE'S ONE GUY WHO COULD'VE USED A LITTLE MORE SEX EDUCATION 211 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,795 WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER. 212 00:09:55,861 --> 00:09:57,730 YOU SEE, DOWN IN GEORGIA, WE'RE GETTING MORE DAMNING NEWS ABOUT 213 00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:58,898 REPUBLICAN SENATE NOMINEE HERSCHEL WALKER, SEEN HERE 214 00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:01,600 YELLING, "HIT ME WITH A GUMMY BEAR. 215 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,803 I'M OPEN!" ( LAUGHTER ) 216 00:10:03,869 --> 00:10:06,572 WALKER HAS BEEN CAMPAIGNING ON A HARD-LINE ANTI-ABORTION STANCE. 217 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:10,376 AND EARLIER TODAY, A WOMAN CAME FORWARD ALLEGING THAT SHE WAS IN 218 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,211 A RELATIONSHIP WITH HERSCHEL WALKER, AND THAT HE HELPED HER 219 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,779 HAE AN ABORTION. 220 00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:16,615 WAIT A SECOND. 221 00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:22,355 DIDN'T WE DO THIS STORY ALREADY? 222 00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:24,256 AM I IN A RERUN RIGHT NOW? 223 00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:25,791 NO? 224 00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:29,628 "LATE SHOW, ALL NEW." 225 00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:30,296 NOT A RERUN. 226 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:30,796 OKAY. 227 00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:31,397 SO-- ( APPLAUSE ) 228 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,531 WE'RE RECORDING ME, RIGHT? 229 00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:36,969 ARE WE RECORDING ME RIGHT NOW? 230 00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:38,004 OKAY, GREAT. 231 00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:39,705 SO IT'S ANOTHER WOMAN, AND TODAY, SHE HELD A PRESS 232 00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:43,442 CONFERENCE WITH HER LAWYER, GLORIA ALLRED. 233 00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:45,945 AND THEY HAD A PRETTY CONVINCING AMOUNT OF EVIDENCE THAT WALKER 234 00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:49,782 HAD A LONG RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS WOMAN, INCLUDING LETTERS, 235 00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:54,220 PHOTOS, RECEIPTS, AND EVEN A VOICEMAIL WALKER LEFT FOR THE 236 00:10:54,286 --> 00:10:58,357 WOMAN WHEN HE WAS IN FRANCE COMPETING AS A BOBSLEDDER IN THE 237 00:10:58,424 --> 00:10:59,759 1992 WINTER OLYMPICS. 238 00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:04,563 OF COURSE, EVEN BEFORE JANE DOE'S PRESS CONFERENCE BEGAN, 239 00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:05,664 HERSCHEL WALKER BEGAN TO PUSH BACK. 240 00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:11,070 HERE'S WHAT HE SAID AT A CAMPAIGN STOP THIS AFTERNOON. 241 00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:12,505 >> WELL, I'LL JUST SAY RIGHT NOW, YOU KNOW, GUYS, I'M DONE 242 00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:13,706 WITH THIS FOOLISHNESS. 243 00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:15,374 I'VE ALREADY TOLD PEOPLE THIS IS A LIE AND I'M NOT GOING TO 244 00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:16,909 ENTERTAIN AND CONTINUE TO CARRY A LIE ALONE. 245 00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:21,013 AND I ALSO WANT TO LET YOU KNOW I DIDN'T KILL J.F.K., EITHER. 246 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:22,181 >> Stephen: MAKING THAT THE FIRST JOB WALKER DIDN'T CLAIM 247 00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,984 TO HAVE DONE. 248 00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:27,153 ( LAUGHTER ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 249 00:11:27,219 --> 00:11:29,088 TONIGHT. 250 00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:32,992 MY GUESTS ARE AUBREY PLAZA AND THE CREATOR OF "THE 1619 251 00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:36,962 PROJECT," NIKOLE HANNAH-JONES. 252 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,031 BUT WHEN WE RETURN, "MEANWHILE!" JOIN US, WON'T YOU? 253 00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,930 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: GIVE IT UP FOR THE 254 00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:11,697 BAND. 255 00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:16,602 LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW BAND. 256 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:19,038 TODAY, WE GOT A LOVELY GUEST. 257 00:12:19,105 --> 00:12:24,610 IN JUST A MOMENT, JUST ONE OF MY FAVORITE GUESTS TO TALK TO, JUST 258 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:28,347 A DELIGHTFUL, INCREDIBLY TALENTED AND REALLY BEAUTIFULLY 259 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,750 STRANGE IN HER OWN WAY, AUBREY PLAZA BEEN OF WILL BE OUT HERE 260 00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:32,885 IN JUST A MOMENT. 261 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:36,522 SHE'S IN THE NEW "THE WHITE LOTUS" BEAUTIFULLY STRANGE. 262 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:37,756 "THE WHITE LOTUS." 263 00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:43,429 AND THE FOUNDER OF THE "THE 1619 PROJECT," NIKOLE HANNAH-JONES 264 00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:44,096 WILL BE OUT HERE. 265 00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:45,297 THAT'S A GOOD CONVERSATION. 266 00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:48,534 WE HAVE TO KEEP GOING HERE BECAUSE WE RECORDED THIS THING-- 267 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:49,735 WE'RE TALKING 6:00 RIGHT NOW. 268 00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:55,007 I HAVE TO GET OVER FOR THE NEW GAFFIN HALL AT LINCOLN CENTER. 269 00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:56,642 I'M INTRODUCING SOMEBODY ON STAGE. 270 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,744 >> Louis: I HEARD. 271 00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:03,549 >> Stephen: LIN-MANUEL, SOMEBODY. 272 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,783 FOLKS, I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME RIGHT OVER THERE, RUMINATING ON 273 00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:08,621 THE DAY'S BIGGEST STORIES, COLLECTING MY THOUGHTS INTO THE 274 00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:12,057 MOST TOPICAL PASSAGES THAT EXPLORE THE LANDSCAPE OF HUMAN 275 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,593 RELATIONSHIPS IN THE MODERN ERA, WITH INFLUENCES FROM 276 00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:16,462 DOSTOYEVSKY, TURGENEV, AND THOREAU, TO COMPOSE FOR YOU THE 277 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:22,701 PITHY, YET TIMELESS, VIRGINIA WOOLF MASTERPIECE THAT IS MY 278 00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:23,869 NIGHTLY MONOLOGUE. 279 00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:25,070 BUT SOMETIMES, JUST SOMETIMES, FOLKS, I EMERGE FROM A SEWER 280 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,639 GRATE UNDER AN ABANDONED NEWS STAND, LICK A GLUE STICK, AND 281 00:13:26,705 --> 00:13:30,309 RIP WHICHEVER WORDS ANGER ME MOST OUT OF SOME DISCARDED 282 00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:32,611 ISSUES OF "CONSUMER REPORTS" THEN SLAP 'EM TOGETHER ON A 283 00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:34,647 GARBAGE LID TO PRESENT THE TUNNEL-DWELLER'S RANSOM NOTE OF 284 00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:43,189 NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT: >> MEANWHILE! 285 00:13:43,255 --> 00:13:45,791 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: RIGHT THERE! 286 00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:51,463 THAT IS-- THAT'S AMERICAN HISTORY RIGHT THERE. 287 00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:54,200 MEANWHILE, EARLIER THIS WEEK "APPLE'S iMESSAGE AND FACETIME 288 00:13:54,266 --> 00:13:56,735 WERE DOWN FOR SOME USERS," WHO "COMPLAINED ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE 289 00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:58,137 TO SEND AND RECEIVE TEXT MESSAGES OR PLACE FACETIME 290 00:13:58,204 --> 00:14:00,639 CALLS." 291 00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:02,841 OH, NO. 292 00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:04,043 WITHOUT TEXT OR FACETIME, HOW WERE THEY SUPPOSED TO 293 00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:08,614 COMMUNICATE USING THEIR PHONE? 294 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:12,618 ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE-- 295 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:18,190 ( APPLAUSE ) MEANWHILE, A NEW STUDY FOUND 296 00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:20,326 THAT "YOUR CAT RECOGNIZES THE SPECIAL WAY YOU TALK TO IT." 297 00:14:20,392 --> 00:14:28,033 SO, CAT OWNERS, WHEN YOU TELL YOUR CAT TO STOP SCRATCHING THE 298 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:28,934 NEW SILK PILLOWS BUT HE KEEPS DOING IT, IT'S NOT BECAUSE HE 299 00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:31,303 ( CUTE VOICE ) IT'S BECAUSE HE HATES YOU. 300 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:40,946 HE'S GONNA EAT YOUR EYEBALLS WHEN YOU DIE. 301 00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:43,749 MEANWHILE, "A STUDY FOUND THAT PEOPLE HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO 302 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:44,416 THAN COMMUTE." 303 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:52,958 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 304 00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:54,960 ( CHEERING ) MOST PARTICIPANTS SAID THEY 305 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:59,632 WOULD RATHER BE "SPENDING TIME WITH FAMILY" OR "EXERCISING," 306 00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:02,167 WHILE THE MOST HONEST PARTICIPANTS SAID THEY'D RATHER 307 00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,202 SPEND THEIR DAYS SAYING THEY'RE GONNA EXERCISE THEN SIT ON THE 308 00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:11,910 COUCH WATCHING "BELOW DECK MED" IN RUNNING SHORTS. 309 00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:13,345 MEANWHILE, IN SPREADABLE NEWS, DESPITE THE LOOMING BUTTER 310 00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:18,917 SHORTAGE, "THE USAGE OF FANCY BUTTER BOARDS IS SOARING," WHICH 311 00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:21,754 IS "TAKING A STICK OF BUTTER AND SPREADING IT ON A CHARCUTERIE 312 00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:27,726 BOARD AND THEN ADDING WHATEVER YOU WANT." 313 00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:31,964 NOTE TO MY LOVED ONES: IF YOU EVER SEE ME SPREADING AN ENTIRE 314 00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:35,834 STICK OF BUTTER ON A BOARD AND I'M ABOUT TO EAT IT, WHAT I WANT 315 00:15:35,901 --> 00:15:36,702 IS PROZAC. 316 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:50,582 ( APPLAUSE ) MEANWHILE, WE JUST GOT THE 317 00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:52,017 PICTURES FROM NIKON'S ANNUAL "SMALL WORLD" COMPETITION, A 318 00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:56,422 CONTEST FOR TINY PICTURES OF TINY THINGS, AND THIS YEAR'S 319 00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:57,723 BATCH IS PRETTY WILD. 320 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:02,161 HERE'S A ZEBRAFISH, PHOTOGRAPHED A MERE 72 HOURS INTO ITS 321 00:16:02,227 --> 00:16:03,862 DEVELOPMENT, CAPTURING THE EXACT MOMENT THAT IT REALIZED ITS 322 00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:07,499 WHOLE FAMILY WENT TO PARIS WITHOUT IT. 323 00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:15,741 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 324 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:19,378 MEANWHILE, "A SWEDISH ZOO CLOSED WHEN A KING COBRA ESCAPED ITS 325 00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:20,346 EXHIBIT." 326 00:16:20,412 --> 00:16:21,747 I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE HEARD THAT ANNOUNCEMENT: 327 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,383 "OKAY, FOLKS, NO REASON TO PANIC, BUT THE ZOO IS CLOSING. 328 00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:27,753 JUST SOME ROUTINE MAINTENANCE, REPAIRS, THERE'S A KING COBRA ON 329 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:40,065 THE LOOSE, CLEANING, INVENTORY, CATCHING THE COBRA, SERVICING 330 00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:43,202 EQUIPMENT. 331 00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:44,536 NOW, ONCE IN A WHILE, THERE'S A BIT OF A STORY BEHIND HOW WE 332 00:16:44,603 --> 00:16:47,239 HANDLE A STORY HERE AT "THE LATE SHOW." 333 00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:48,640 WHEN THAT HAPPENS, I LIKE TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT IN MY 334 00:16:48,707 --> 00:16:52,344 MEANWHILE SUB-SEGMENT: "BEHIND-THE-SCENES-WHILE." 335 00:16:52,411 --> 00:17:00,352 YOU SEE, THAT STORY ABOUT THE SNAKE LOOSE IN SWEDEN? 336 00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:03,922 INITIALLY, MY WRITER/PRODUCER, MIKE BRUMM, HAD THE IDEA THAT WE 337 00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:08,327 TAKE A SONG BY SWEDISH BAND ABBA AND CHANGE THEIR LYRICS TO BE 338 00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:11,230 ABOUT THIS ESCAPED SNAKE. 339 00:17:11,296 --> 00:17:16,802 SO MIKE DID, LIKE, A TRIAL VERSION OF A VIDEO WHERE HE USES 340 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:21,707 HIS OWN VOICE FOR A SCRATCH TRACK, A PROOF OF CONCEPT. 341 00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:23,275 SOMETIMES IT WORKS, AND THE BAND OVER THERE THEN DOES A BEAUTIFUL 342 00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:24,343 VERSION OF IT. 343 00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:27,746 AND SOMETIMES IT DOESN'T WORK, AND YOU NEVER SEE IT. 344 00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:33,285 BUT THIS TIME, IT SO VERY DID NOT WORK THAT, WITH MIKE'S 345 00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:36,288 PERMISSION, I'M GONNA SHOW IT TO YOU NOW. 346 00:17:36,355 --> 00:17:36,488 JIM? 347 00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:44,363 ( "DANCING QUEEN" PLAYING ) 348 00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:07,453 ♪ IT CAN BITE YOU CAN DIE 349 00:18:07,519 --> 00:18:11,557 ♪ OH, SEE THAT SNAKE TAKE COVER 350 00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:20,365 ♪ PUT IN THE COBRA SNAKE 351 00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:38,717 >> Stephen: WE DIDN'T CUT AWAY FROM THAT SONG IN THE MIDDLE. 352 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:41,420 ( APPLAUSE ) WE DID NOT CUT AWAY FROM THAT 353 00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:41,987 SONG IN THE MIDDLE. 354 00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,355 THAT'S AS FAR AS HE GOT. 355 00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:48,293 HE SAID, "YOU WANT ME TO FINISH IT?" 356 00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:52,297 I SAID-- I SAID NO. 357 00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:54,366 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH AUBREY PLAZA. 358 00:19:24,963 --> 00:19:28,100 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST IS AN ACTOR, AUTHOR, AND 359 00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:29,902 PRODUCER YOU KNOW FROM "PARKS AND RECREATION," "INGRID GOES 360 00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:30,869 WEST," AND "EMILY THE CRIMINAL." 361 00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:33,739 SHE NOW STARS IN SEASON 2 OF "THE WHITE LOTUS." 362 00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:37,209 >> SO YOU DO PLOIMENT LAW. 363 00:19:37,276 --> 00:19:38,510 SO INTERESTING. 364 00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:41,914 WHAT IS THAT EXACTLY? 365 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:47,920 >> WE, YOU KNOW, WE TAKE ON CLIENTS THAT ARE SUING THEIR 366 00:19:47,986 --> 00:19:48,921 EMPLOYERS FOR DISCRIMINATION, SEXUAL HARASSMENT, WRONGFUL 367 00:19:48,987 --> 00:19:50,556 TERMINATION, STUFF LIKE THAT. 368 00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:51,924 >> WHAT? 369 00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:52,558 WHAT IS THAT FACE? 370 00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:55,494 >> NO, NO, NOTHING, JUST... 371 00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:59,498 I'VE BEEN DEALING WITH A BUNCH OF BOGUS CLAIMS LATELY. 372 00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:03,468 EVERYONE HAS EVEN WHEN THEY HAVE ZERO MERIT AND THEY GET THROWN 373 00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:07,940 OUT IN SUMMARY JUDGMENT, YOU STILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THE 374 00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:10,642 DEPOTS AND THE INTERNAL INVESTIGATION. 375 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:17,883 IT'S A HUGE TIME SUCK, NOT TO MENTION A WASTE OF MONEY. 376 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:20,953 >> WELL, THEY'RE NOT ALL BOGUS. 377 00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:21,386 >> NO. 378 00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:23,255 >> GOD NO. 379 00:20:23,322 --> 00:20:24,823 ( BLEEP ), OF COURSING THEY'RE NOT. 380 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:25,424 NO, OF COURSE THEY'RE NOT. 381 00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:27,459 >> NO, NO, NO, IT'S FINE. 382 00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:28,827 >> SORRY. 383 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,930 >> ALL GOOD. 384 00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:36,101 >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," AUBREY 385 00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:37,302 PLAZA! 386 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:50,782 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 387 00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:52,084 >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO! 388 00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:54,019 >> HELLO. 389 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,355 >> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL YOUR BASIC AUBREY PLAZA 390 00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:56,989 RIGHT THERE. 391 00:20:57,055 --> 00:20:57,556 NICE TO SEE YOU. 392 00:20:57,623 --> 00:20:58,924 >> NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO. 393 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:01,493 >> Stephen: IT'S ALWAYS JUST A PLEASURE, A PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU 394 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:02,594 HERE EVERY TIME. 395 00:21:02,661 --> 00:21:04,096 >> I MISS YOU! 396 00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:07,265 >> Stephen: HEY, CONGRATULATIONS. 397 00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:12,070 I JUST FOUND OUT YOU JUST GOT NOMINATED FOR A GOTHAM AWARD FOR 398 00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:12,571 "EMILY THE CRIMINAL." 399 00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:14,272 >> I DID. 400 00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:15,707 >> Stephen: THAT'S MARVELOUS. 401 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:16,608 THAT FEELS GOOD, RIGHT? 402 00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:18,644 >> YOU KNOW WHAT, IT REALLY DOES FEEL GOOD. 403 00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:23,015 IT'S A REALLY SMALL MOVIE AND IT JUST-- IT FEELS GOOD WHEN THOSE 404 00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:26,051 SMALLER MOVIES, LIKE, BREAK THROUGH THE NOISE, YOU KNOW. 405 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,252 IT'S AWESOME. 406 00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:29,554 >> Stephen: SO YOU'RE STARRING IN THE NEW "THE WHITE LOTUS," 407 00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:31,189 SEASON TWO OF "THE WHITE LOTUS." 408 00:21:31,256 --> 00:21:31,690 CONGRATULATIONS ON THAT. 409 00:21:31,757 --> 00:21:35,360 >> THANK YOU. 410 00:21:35,427 --> 00:21:39,331 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: NOW, MIKE WHITE, 411 00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:42,300 THE CREATOR OF THE SHOW, SAYS THAT HE WROTE THE PART WITH YOU 412 00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:42,934 IN MIND. 413 00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:44,403 HE WROTE IT FOR YOU. 414 00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:45,470 IS THIS TRUE? 415 00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:48,073 >> HE DID, I THINK. 416 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:51,410 NORMALLY WHEN PEOPLE SAY THEY WRITE A PART FOR ME, IT'S LIKE 417 00:21:51,476 --> 00:21:54,946 I'M A MURDERER OR I'M A SERIAL KILLER. 418 00:21:55,013 --> 00:21:55,447 >> Stephen: THE DEVIL. 419 00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:57,282 >> I'M LIKE A DEVIL. 420 00:21:57,349 --> 00:21:57,883 >> Stephen: EXACTLY. 421 00:21:57,949 --> 00:21:58,984 >> LIKE, LITERALLY. 422 00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:01,153 BUT IN THIS SHOW, I'M JUST A LAWYER. 423 00:22:01,219 --> 00:22:04,089 I'M JUST A LAWYER. 424 00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:07,492 JUST A NORMAL PERSON, WHICH I CAN TO AS WELL. 425 00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:08,727 ( LAUGHTER ). 426 00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:12,130 >> Stephen: HAVE OTHER PEOPLE JUST WRITTEN A PART JUST FOR YOU 427 00:22:12,197 --> 00:22:12,998 BEFORE? 428 00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:13,899 >> UM... 429 00:22:13,965 --> 00:22:15,067 >> Stephen: HAVE YOU BEEN TOLD THAT BEFORE? 430 00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:17,235 >> I MEAN, YEAH, KIND OF. 431 00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:19,504 I MEAN "PARKS AND REC," KIND OF. 432 00:22:19,571 --> 00:22:21,306 BUT THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. 433 00:22:21,373 --> 00:22:22,874 I WAS A BABY. 434 00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:23,809 I WAS A BABY. 435 00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:25,010 KIND OF. 436 00:22:25,077 --> 00:22:26,144 BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT. 437 00:22:26,211 --> 00:22:29,748 HE KNOWS THE ME-ME MORE INTIMATELY SO I FEEL LIKE I GOT 438 00:22:29,815 --> 00:22:34,219 TO KIND OF, YEAH, SHOW A KIND OF MORE NONEVIL SIDE OF ME. 439 00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:36,088 WHICH IS NICE. 440 00:22:36,154 --> 00:22:37,989 >> Stephen: SURE, IT IS. 441 00:22:38,056 --> 00:22:39,057 I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING IT. 442 00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:40,258 >> YEAH, YEAH. 443 00:22:40,325 --> 00:22:43,895 >> Stephen: THESE THINGS TAKE PLACE AT REALLY NICE RESORTS. 444 00:22:43,962 --> 00:22:44,963 THE FIRST "THE WHITE LOTUS." 445 00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:47,199 AND I ASSUME THIS IS JUST AS NICE. 446 00:22:47,265 --> 00:22:48,066 A REALLY LOVELY RESORT. 447 00:22:48,133 --> 00:22:49,201 >> OH, YEAH. 448 00:22:49,267 --> 00:22:51,803 >> Stephen: DO YOU ACTUALLY GET TO STAY IN A NICE RESORT 449 00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:53,438 WHILE YOU'RE DOING IT? 450 00:22:53,505 --> 00:23:01,113 >> YEAH, WE WERE LIVING IN THE FOUR SEASONS IN SICILY. 451 00:23:01,179 --> 00:23:03,048 >> Stephen: THAT MUST SUCK. 452 00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:04,616 >> IT DID NOT SUCK. 453 00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:08,854 WE WERE LIVING THERE FOR MONTHS AND SHOOTING AT THE HOTEL WE 454 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,957 WERE LIVING AT IT AND THERE IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECT IT HAS ON 455 00:23:12,023 --> 00:23:15,560 YOU AFTER A WHILE, KIND OF LIKE "THE SHINING" KIND OF VIBE. 456 00:23:15,627 --> 00:23:16,094 >> Stephen: GO ON. 457 00:23:16,161 --> 00:23:17,662 >> IT WAS FUN. 458 00:23:17,729 --> 00:23:20,932 >> Stephen: WERE YOU RIDING A TRICYCLE AROUND THE HALLWAYS? 459 00:23:20,999 --> 00:23:22,467 >> YEAH, YEAH. 460 00:23:22,534 --> 00:23:26,872 NO, BUT IT'S JUST WEIRD PAUSE YOU'RE, LIKE LINK IN ONE HOTEL 461 00:23:26,938 --> 00:23:30,242 ROOM, AND THEN IT'S TIME TO GO TO WORK, SO YOU LEAVE YOUR HOTEL 462 00:23:30,308 --> 00:23:35,413 ROOM AND WALK DOWN THE HALL AND GO INTO YOUR OTHER ROOM WHICH IS 463 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:38,049 YOUR DRESSING PROOM AND YOU JUST CAN'T ESCAPE. 464 00:23:38,116 --> 00:23:39,351 YOU CAN'T ESCAPE IT FOR MONTHS. 465 00:23:39,417 --> 00:23:43,822 WE WERE FLIFG THIS REALLY SMALL TOWN IN SICILY. 466 00:23:43,889 --> 00:23:45,791 WE OVERRAN THAT TOWN, THE CAST. 467 00:23:45,857 --> 00:23:48,693 IT WAS THE OFF SEASON THERE SO THEY WERE JUST LIKE-- 468 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,629 > Stephen: WERE THEY HAPPY TO HAVE YOU THERE? 469 00:23:50,695 --> 00:23:56,101 WERE THEY WELCOME TO HAVE THE BUSINESS OR WERE THEY LIKE, 470 00:23:56,168 --> 00:23:56,968 "PLEASE GO AWAY." 471 00:23:57,035 --> 00:23:59,304 >> NO I THINK THEY WERE HAPPY TO HAVE US. 472 00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:03,375 IT'S WEIRD WHEN YOU LIVE IN A LITTLE TOWN LIKE THAT FOR TOO 473 00:24:03,441 --> 00:24:06,144 LONG, THINGS KIND OF HAPPEN. 474 00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:07,379 YOU INTEGRATE. 475 00:24:07,445 --> 00:24:10,482 I GOT IN A WEIRD FOOD WITH THE LOCAL BAKKER-- LOCAL BASICALLY. 476 00:24:10,549 --> 00:24:13,585 >> Stephen: A FEUD WITH A BAKKER. 477 00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:14,786 GO AHEAD. 478 00:24:14,853 --> 00:24:15,921 >> I HAD A LOT OF DAYS OFF -- >> Stephen: IDLE HANDS AND THE 479 00:24:15,987 --> 00:24:17,055 DEVIL A WORKSHOP. 480 00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:20,292 >> I GOT OBSESSED WITH THE PISTACHIO COOKIES THIS GUY WAS 481 00:24:20,358 --> 00:24:24,830 MAKING AND I DON'T KNOW WHY IT BUGGED HIM THAT I KEPT COMING 482 00:24:24,896 --> 00:24:26,064 BACK. 483 00:24:26,131 --> 00:24:30,135 AND I WAS TELLING EVERYBODY YOU HAVE TO COME FOR THE PISTACHIO 484 00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:30,936 COOKIES. 485 00:24:31,002 --> 00:24:32,871 AND ONE DAY HE STOPPED SELLING THEM. 486 00:24:32,938 --> 00:24:34,840 AND I WAS LIKE, DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 487 00:24:34,906 --> 00:24:36,241 YOU KNOW WE WANT THE COOKIES." 488 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:38,543 AND HE SAID, YOU WANT THE COOKIES? 489 00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:43,114 I'LL BRING YOU 50 COOKIES TOMORROW," AND HE DID, AND THEY 490 00:24:43,181 --> 00:24:43,982 WERE OVERCOOKED. 491 00:24:44,049 --> 00:24:46,218 >> Stephen: HE BURNED THE SPECIAL ODOR. 492 00:24:46,284 --> 00:24:50,255 >> THIS COULD BE I'M CRAZY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY, I MADE IT UP IN 493 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:52,324 MY HEAD OR SOMETHING, THIS NARRATIVE. 494 00:24:52,390 --> 00:24:53,825 BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT HAPPENED. 495 00:24:53,892 --> 00:24:59,531 AND I GOT REALLY KIND OF-- IT TURNED INTO KIND OF LIKE A 496 00:24:59,598 --> 00:25:03,501 "SEINFELD" EPISODE OR SOMETHING WHERE I KEPT GOING EVERY DAY AND 497 00:25:03,568 --> 00:25:06,271 DEMANDING THESE COOKIES AND DEMANDING THAT THEY NOT BURN THE 498 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:07,472 COOKIES. 499 00:25:07,539 --> 00:25:12,344 AND AT ONE POINT I ACTUALLY STARTED FILMING AND I DID LIKE A 500 00:25:12,410 --> 00:25:13,979 "20/20" INVESTIGATIVE REPORT KIND OF THING. 501 00:25:14,045 --> 00:25:16,214 >> Stephen: WILL WE EVENTUALLY BE OF GET TO SEE THIS? 502 00:25:16,281 --> 00:25:18,316 >> I HAVE IT ON MY PHONE. 503 00:25:18,383 --> 00:25:21,987 I SENT IT TO YOU GUYS BUT THEY SAID THEY COULDN'T SHOW IT FOR 504 00:25:22,053 --> 00:25:22,787 SOME REASON. 505 00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:24,522 IT'S SHOCKING. 506 00:25:24,589 --> 00:25:25,624 IT'S SHOCKING, THE INTERVIEW. 507 00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:28,260 I TRIED TO GET HIM ON CAMERA. 508 00:25:28,326 --> 00:25:32,430 AND HE SAID, "GET THAT CAMERA OUT OF HERE." 509 00:25:32,497 --> 00:25:35,233 >> Stephen: DO YOU SPEAK ITALIAN? 510 00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:39,237 ( SPEAKING ITALIAN ) IS THERE I WAS THINKING IF YOU 511 00:25:39,304 --> 00:25:42,874 DON'T SPEAK ITALIAN, HE COULD HAVE BEEN SAYING ANYTHING TO 512 00:25:42,941 --> 00:25:43,408 YOU. 513 00:25:43,475 --> 00:25:44,442 >> IT WAS ALL ENGLISH. 514 00:25:44,509 --> 00:25:45,410 HE HATED ME. 515 00:25:45,477 --> 00:25:46,645 BUT WE MADE UP. 516 00:25:46,711 --> 00:25:47,679 WE MADE UP. 517 00:25:47,746 --> 00:25:52,817 >> Stephen: YOU ALSO ARE DOING-- THIS IS A PASSION 518 00:25:52,884 --> 00:25:58,223 PROJECT OF FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA, "MEGALOP LIS." 519 00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:00,825 I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE PROCESS. 520 00:26:00,892 --> 00:26:07,499 DOES AN AUBREY PLAZA, DO YOU HAVE TO AUDITION FOR FRANCIS 521 00:26:07,565 --> 00:26:08,667 FORD COPPOLA? 522 00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:11,436 >> I DEFINITELY AUDITIONED FOR SURE, FOR SURE. 523 00:26:11,503 --> 00:26:15,206 >> Stephen: YOU CALL HIM "FRANK?" 524 00:26:15,273 --> 00:26:17,909 >> I CALL HIM FRANNIE. 525 00:26:17,976 --> 00:26:18,443 NO. 526 00:26:18,510 --> 00:26:21,546 ME AND FRANNIE-- WHAT. 527 00:26:21,613 --> 00:26:22,948 NO I HAVEN'T MET NIM PERSON YET. 528 00:26:23,014 --> 00:26:24,349 >> Stephen: YOU HAVEN'T MET HIM. 529 00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:27,052 >> I CAN'T GET FIRED BEFORE I START. 530 00:26:27,118 --> 00:26:29,788 PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME SAY ANYTHING STUPID. 531 00:26:29,854 --> 00:26:31,323 >> Stephen: HIS WINE IS DELICIOUS. 532 00:26:31,389 --> 00:26:32,857 >> I KNOW, THE WINE IS GOOD. 533 00:26:32,924 --> 00:26:36,127 I ACTUALLY AUDITIONED FOR HIM ON ZOOM WHEN I WAS IN SICILY. 534 00:26:36,194 --> 00:26:41,266 IN FACT, I WAS STAYING IN THE SAN DOMENICO, WHICH I COULD BE 535 00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:45,303 WRONG, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE HE STAYED THERE WHEN HE SHOT "THE 536 00:26:45,370 --> 00:26:49,808 GODFATHER" AND IN THAT TOWN THERE'S A LITERAL GODFATHER 537 00:26:49,874 --> 00:26:52,344 AMERICA RCH STORE -- >> Stephen: YOU CAN BUY A 538 00:26:52,410 --> 00:26:53,078 HORSE HEAD OR SOMETHING? 539 00:26:53,144 --> 00:26:55,313 >> I WENT THERE ALL THE TIME. 540 00:26:55,380 --> 00:26:59,517 I BOUGHT HORSE HEADS, PENCILS, GUNS-- NOT GUN S. 541 00:26:59,584 --> 00:27:00,885 >> Stephen: CANNOLIS. 542 00:27:00,952 --> 00:27:03,521 >> SURE, CANNOLIS. 543 00:27:03,588 --> 00:27:06,124 AND THEN, YEAH, SO I WAS ON ZOOM WITH HIM. 544 00:27:06,191 --> 00:27:11,162 AND IT WAS-- IT WAS REALLY WEIRD BECAUSE IT'S, LIKE HIM-- YOU 545 00:27:11,229 --> 00:27:14,799 KNOW, I WAS SO EXCITED TO MEET HIM. 546 00:27:14,866 --> 00:27:16,301 AND HE WAS WEARING A TUXEDO. 547 00:27:16,368 --> 00:27:18,837 >> Stephen: HE WORE A TUXEDO FOR YOUR AUDITION? 548 00:27:18,903 --> 00:27:22,207 >> THEN I FOUND OUT HE WAS GOING TO THE ACADEMY AWARDS THAT DAY. 549 00:27:22,273 --> 00:27:25,443 HE WAS ACTUALLY JUST SQUEEZING ME IN. 550 00:27:25,510 --> 00:27:30,115 BUT I SQUEEZED MYSELF RIGHT IN, TOO, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN 551 00:27:30,181 --> 00:27:35,553 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A 552 00:27:35,620 --> 00:27:38,923 QUICK BREAK, AUBREY PLAZA, BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, AUBREY IS 553 00:27:38,990 --> 00:27:41,826 GOING TO SPILL DATE ON HER COSTARS. 554 00:27:41,893 --> 00:27:43,895 STICK AROUND. 555 00:27:53,004 --> 00:27:58,943 >> Stephen: WE'RE BACK WITH STAR OF "THE WHITE LOTUS," AUBREY 556 00:27:59,010 --> 00:28:02,714 PLAZA. 557 00:28:02,781 --> 00:28:04,182 AUBREY, ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. 558 00:28:04,249 --> 00:28:05,850 >> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. 559 00:28:05,917 --> 00:28:10,321 >> Stephen: NOT ONLY ARE YOU A GREAT GUEST AND A WONDERFUL 560 00:28:10,388 --> 00:28:12,524 SPARKLING PERSONALITY AND UNIQUELY YOURSELF. 561 00:28:12,590 --> 00:28:14,192 YOU ALSO ALWAYS COME WITH GREAT STORIES. 562 00:28:14,259 --> 00:28:18,263 YOU ARE WILLING TO ABSOLUTELY SPIT THE TRUTH ABOUT SOME OF 563 00:28:18,329 --> 00:28:19,097 YOUR COSTARS. 564 00:28:19,164 --> 00:28:20,298 >> I HAVE TO. 565 00:28:20,365 --> 00:28:22,967 >> Stephen: AND, YOU KNOW, A FEW TIMES WE'VE HAD THE PLEASURE 566 00:28:23,034 --> 00:28:25,904 OF CHATTING, YOU HAVE BEEN SO CANDID ABOUT YOUR COSTARS. 567 00:28:25,970 --> 00:28:29,641 AND WE'D LIKE TO DO SOMETHING WE'VE DONE BEFORE, AND IT'S 568 00:28:29,707 --> 00:28:33,011 CALLED "TEA AT THE PLAZA." 569 00:28:33,078 --> 00:28:35,513 AND THAT'S WHERE AUBREY PLAZA SPILLS THE TEA ABOUT HER 570 00:28:35,580 --> 00:28:36,314 COSTARS. 571 00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:39,384 I GIVE YOU A NAME, AND YOU GREASE US. 572 00:28:39,451 --> 00:28:40,018 OKAY? 573 00:28:40,085 --> 00:28:41,386 >> OH, I WILL GREET YOU UP. 574 00:28:41,453 --> 00:28:43,521 >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT. 575 00:28:43,588 --> 00:28:44,756 >> MMM! 576 00:28:44,823 --> 00:28:46,891 AND WHAT KIND OF TEA IS IT TODAY? 577 00:28:46,958 --> 00:28:47,525 >> Stephen: I HAVE NO IDEA. 578 00:28:47,592 --> 00:28:51,296 ( LAUGHTER ) MMM. 579 00:28:51,362 --> 00:28:51,930 >> NETTLES. 580 00:28:51,996 --> 00:28:52,564 >> Stephen: YES, ALL RIGHT. 581 00:28:52,630 --> 00:28:54,732 >> GOOD FOR THE JOINTS. 582 00:28:54,799 --> 00:28:58,002 GOOD FOR THE JOINTS, STEPHEN. 583 00:28:58,069 --> 00:28:59,003 >> Stephen: IT IS? 584 00:28:59,070 --> 00:29:01,473 ALL RIGHT, I TRY NOT TO MOVE MY JOINTS ANYMORE. 585 00:29:01,539 --> 00:29:02,707 >> NO YOU DON'T... 586 00:29:02,774 --> 00:29:09,047 >> Stephen: P AUBREY PLAZA, M GOING TO GIVE YOU A NAME, YOU 587 00:29:09,114 --> 00:29:13,084 GIVE US THE GOSSIP. 588 00:29:13,151 --> 00:29:19,958 COSTAR IN "LOTUS 2022," JENNIFER COOLIDGE. 589 00:29:20,024 --> 00:29:23,528 >> JENNIFER COOLIDGE REFUSES TO TRAVEL BY PLANE, TRAIN, OR CAR. 590 00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:31,503 IN FACT, SHE ONLY TRAVELS BY SLEIGHING, LED BY SNOW WOLVES. 591 00:29:31,569 --> 00:29:32,537 >> Stephen: WOW. 592 00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:34,973 HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE HAVE SUCH STRANGE DEMANDS IN THEIR 593 00:29:35,039 --> 00:29:35,306 CONTRACTS. 594 00:29:35,373 --> 00:29:36,441 >> I KNOW. 595 00:29:36,508 --> 00:29:39,511 SHE'LL ONLY TRAVEL BY SLEIGH. 596 00:29:39,577 --> 00:29:43,781 >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE WORKED WITH THIS PERSON 597 00:29:43,848 --> 00:29:49,487 BEFORE BUT I UNDERSTAND YúU WOWORKED WITH JOY BEHAR. 598 00:29:49,554 --> 00:29:57,662 >> JOY BEHAR HAS SEX WITH GHOSTS AND SHE'S PROUT OF IT. 599 00:29:57,729 --> 00:29:59,497 LOOK IT UP. 600 00:29:59,564 --> 00:30:00,999 LOOK IT-- LOOK IT UP. 601 00:30:01,065 --> 00:30:01,633 GOOGLE IT RIGHT NOW. 602 00:30:01,699 --> 00:30:03,501 >> Stephen: WOW, WOW. 603 00:30:03,568 --> 00:30:04,969 THAT'S NOT SO MUCH GOSSIP. 604 00:30:05,036 --> 00:30:05,937 THAT'S JUST WELL KNOWN. 605 00:30:06,004 --> 00:30:07,672 >> THAT'S JUST SOMETHING I HEARD ABOUT. 606 00:30:07,739 --> 00:30:10,308 ( LAUGHTER ). 607 00:30:10,375 --> 00:30:14,479 >> Stephen: IN "INGRID GOES WEST" YOU COSTARRED WITH 608 00:30:14,546 --> 00:30:15,113 ELIZABETH OLSON. 609 00:30:15,180 --> 00:30:16,648 TELL US A LITTLE BIT HER. 610 00:30:16,714 --> 00:30:18,516 >> SHE IS SICK, STEPHEN. 611 00:30:18,583 --> 00:30:19,417 SHE IS SICK. 612 00:30:19,484 --> 00:30:20,618 >> Stephen: GO ON. 613 00:30:20,685 --> 00:30:26,291 >> ELIZABETH OLSON HAS HANDS INSTEAD OF FEET AND FEET INSTEAD 614 00:30:26,357 --> 00:30:27,492 OF HANDS. 615 00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:30,128 >> Stephen: I HAVE SEEN HER IN MOVIES AND SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE 616 00:30:30,195 --> 00:30:30,895 HAS HANDS. 617 00:30:30,962 --> 00:30:32,630 >> HONE, LOOK CLOSER. 618 00:30:32,697 --> 00:30:33,198 ZOOM IN. 619 00:30:33,264 --> 00:30:34,365 >> Stephen: WOW. 620 00:30:34,432 --> 00:30:36,901 >> ANY TIME SHE MEETS SOMEONE, SHE KICKS THEM IN THE FACE. 621 00:30:36,968 --> 00:30:38,670 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WOW! 622 00:30:38,736 --> 00:30:40,305 >> WITH HER FEET-HANDS. 623 00:30:40,371 --> 00:30:44,576 >> Stephen: THE THINGS THEY CAN DO WITH CGIs THESE DAYS. 624 00:30:44,642 --> 00:30:47,645 >> SHE IS DISGUSTING. 625 00:30:47,712 --> 00:30:49,714 >> Stephen: I FEEL ALMOST SAD FOR HER, THOUGH. 626 00:30:49,781 --> 00:30:51,349 >> SHE IS SICK. 627 00:30:51,416 --> 00:30:55,186 >> Stephen: DANNY DeVITO, YOUR COSTAR IN "LITTLE DEMON." 628 00:30:55,253 --> 00:30:56,754 >> GIVE ME A BREAK. 629 00:30:56,821 --> 00:30:58,423 >> Stephen: OKAY. 630 00:30:58,489 --> 00:31:02,594 >> DANNY DEVITO DOES SO MUCH VOICEOVER WORK. 631 00:31:02,660 --> 00:31:08,333 IN FACT YOU KNOW THE SOUND THE RAIDATOR MAKES, THE HISS SOUND? 632 00:31:08,399 --> 00:31:09,701 THAT'S HIM. 633 00:31:09,767 --> 00:31:13,204 AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT DANNY DEVITO, HE PLAYS THE VOICE OF 634 00:31:13,271 --> 00:31:19,944 SSATAN ON FX'S "LITTLE DEMON" OPPOSITE ME, ALL EPISODES 635 00:31:20,011 --> 00:31:21,813 STREAMING ON HULU. 636 00:31:21,879 --> 00:31:22,714 SEE WHAT I DID THERE? 637 00:31:22,780 --> 00:31:25,984 SEE WHAT I DID THERE? 638 00:31:26,050 --> 00:31:27,452 >> Stephen: SEASON 2 OF "THE WHITE LOTUS" PREMIERES SUNDAY ON 639 00:31:27,518 --> 00:31:28,019 HBO. 640 00:31:28,086 --> 00:31:28,987 AUBREY PLAZA, EVERYBODY! 641 00:31:29,053 --> 00:31:31,022 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING 642 00:31:31,089 --> 00:31:32,857 JOURNALIST NIKOLE HANNAH-JONES. 643 00:31:47,038 --> 00:31:51,809 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT IS THE PULITZER 644 00:31:51,876 --> 00:31:53,144 PRIZE-WINNING "NEW YORK TIMES" REPORTER WHO CREATED "THE 645 00:31:53,211 --> 00:31:54,279 1619 PROJECT." 646 00:31:54,345 --> 00:31:58,983 PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," NIKOLE HANNAH-JONES! 647 00:31:59,050 --> 00:32:06,924 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 648 00:32:06,991 --> 00:32:10,495 ♪ TURN ME AROUND TURN ME AROUND 649 00:32:10,561 --> 00:32:12,930 AIN'T GOING TO LET NOBODY TURN ME AROUND ♪ 650 00:32:12,997 --> 00:32:14,666 >> Stephen: HOW YOU DOING? 651 00:32:14,732 --> 00:32:15,933 NICE TO HAVE YOU ON. 652 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,669 >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME ON. 653 00:32:17,735 --> 00:32:21,773 >> Stephen: NOW, THREE YEARS AGO, YOU CREATED THE "THE 1619 654 00:32:21,839 --> 00:32:28,313 PROJECT," ORIGINALLY WITH A SPECIALIST ""THE NEW YORK TIMES" 655 00:32:28,379 --> 00:32:28,946 MAGAZINE. 656 00:32:29,013 --> 00:32:30,982 NOW IT'S A CHILDREN'S BOOK. 657 00:32:31,049 --> 00:32:39,924 IT'SA A PODCAST SEZ AN UPCOMING DOCU-SERIES, A DESSERT TOPPING, 658 00:32:39,991 --> 00:32:43,061 AND A BOOK "THE 1619 PROJECT: A NEW ORIGIN STORY." 659 00:32:43,127 --> 00:32:44,729 ( APPLAUSE ) NOW, LET'S JUST START WITH 660 00:32:44,796 --> 00:32:45,897 BASICS FOR A SECOND. 661 00:32:45,963 --> 00:32:49,100 SOME OF THE PEOPLE WATCHING RIGHT NOW MAY NOT BE AWARE OF 662 00:32:49,167 --> 00:32:53,705 WHAT THAT DATE, 1619, WHAT ITS SIGNIFICANCE IS. 663 00:32:53,771 --> 00:32:56,774 THERE ARE A LOT OF DATES WE HAVE OUT THERE IN OUR HEAD. 664 00:32:56,841 --> 00:32:57,975 WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 665 00:32:58,042 --> 00:33:02,080 >> 1619 IS THE YEAR THE FIRST AFRICANS WERE SOLD INTO THE 666 00:33:02,146 --> 00:33:03,281 BRITISH COLONY OF VIRGINIA. 667 00:33:03,348 --> 00:33:06,984 SO WE REALLY MARK THAT AS THE BEGINNING OF AMERICAN SLAVERY, 668 00:33:07,051 --> 00:33:10,388 AND OF COURSE WHAT "THE 1619 PROJECT" ARGUES, SINCE SLAVERY 669 00:33:10,455 --> 00:33:13,224 IS ONE OF THE OLDEST INSTITUTIONS IN THE LAND THAT 670 00:33:13,291 --> 00:33:16,127 WOULD BECOME THE UNITED STATES, THAT IS FOUNDATIONAL TO SO MUCH 671 00:33:16,194 --> 00:33:17,395 OF THE SOCIETY WE HAVE TODAY. 672 00:33:17,462 --> 00:33:21,099 >> Stephen: LITERALLY-- WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE SHIP? 673 00:33:21,165 --> 00:33:22,934 >> "THE WHITE WITH LION." 674 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:26,938 >> Stephen: THE "WHITE LION PULLED INTO THE JAMESTOWN 675 00:33:27,004 --> 00:33:30,375 HOW MANY AFRICANS-- DO WE KNOW HOW MANY WERE SOLD INTO BONDAGE? 676 00:33:30,441 --> 00:33:34,846 >> WHAT WE KNOW FROM THE RECORD THEY SAID, "20 AND ODD." 677 00:33:34,912 --> 00:33:36,280 SO BETWEEN 20 AND 30. 678 00:33:36,347 --> 00:33:40,985 THEY WERE FROM AN DOLIA, AND THEY WERE ORIGINALLY ON A 679 00:33:41,052 --> 00:33:45,690 PORTUGUESE SHIP BOUND FOR MEXICO, STOLEN BY PILOTS AND 680 00:33:45,757 --> 00:33:48,459 WERE TRADED TO HUMAN BEINGS FOR PROVISION S. 681 00:33:48,526 --> 00:33:49,727 >> Stephen: WHEN DID YOU FIRST LEARN OF THIS? 682 00:33:49,794 --> 00:33:51,262 WHEN DID YOU FIRST BECOME INTERESTED IN THIS? 683 00:33:51,329 --> 00:33:56,934 >> I FIRST CAME ACROSS THE DATE 1619, WHEN I WAS 16 YEARS OLD, 684 00:33:57,001 --> 00:33:58,536 WHICH WAS TWO OR THREE YEARS AGO. 685 00:33:58,603 --> 00:34:00,304 AND I WAS A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT. 686 00:34:00,371 --> 00:34:07,078 AND I HAD A ONE-SEMESTER BLACK STUDIES ELECTIVE TAUGHT BY A 687 00:34:07,145 --> 00:34:09,781 GREAT EDUCATOR NAMED MR. DIAL. 688 00:34:09,847 --> 00:34:12,483 AND NERDY NIKOLE BECAME OBSESSED WITH LEARNING THE HISTORY AND I 689 00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:16,320 WOULD ASK MR. DIAL TO GIVE ME BOOKS TO READ, AND ONE OF THE 690 00:34:16,387 --> 00:34:22,527 BOOKS WAS "BEFORE THE MAYFLOWER," AND ABOUT 30 PAGES 691 00:34:22,593 --> 00:34:26,798 IS IS WHEN I READ ABOUT THE "WHITE LION." 692 00:34:26,864 --> 00:34:28,533 NO ONE TAUGHT US THAT DATE. 693 00:34:28,599 --> 00:34:34,839 OF COURSE EVERY AMERICAN CHILD LEARNS ABOUT THE "MAYFLOWER" BUT 694 00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:37,575 "THE WHITE LION" HAD BEEN COMPLETELY ERASED. 695 00:34:37,642 --> 00:34:41,379 AND AS A BLACK GIRL KNOWING AFRICAN PEOPLE HAD BEEN HERE 696 00:34:41,446 --> 00:34:48,886 LONGER THAN THE PEOPLE WHO DISEMBARKED THE "MAYFLOWER" WAS 697 00:34:48,953 --> 00:34:50,288 VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. 698 00:34:50,354 --> 00:34:57,061 >> Stephen: SO THE 20-ODD, THE 20, 30 ANGOLANS THAT CAME OWN, 699 00:34:57,128 --> 00:35:00,531 IN THE EARLY COLONISTS WERE THERE ANY AFRICANS WHO CAME OR 700 00:35:00,598 --> 00:35:03,501 BROUGHT TO THE UNITED STATES NOT AS ENSLAVED PEOPLE? 701 00:35:03,568 --> 00:35:06,204 OR DID THEY ALL COME AS ENSLAVED PEOPLE? 702 00:35:06,270 --> 00:35:10,441 >> IN THE EARLY COLONIES PEOPLE WERE COMING AS ENSLAVED WORKERS. 703 00:35:10,508 --> 00:35:17,915 BUT YOU DID START TO HAVE, AFTER THE KIND OF MIDDLE 1600s, 704 00:35:17,982 --> 00:35:22,353 THERE WERE SOME FREE OR INDENTURED LABORERS FROM EUROPE 705 00:35:22,420 --> 00:35:25,056 BUT A VERY SMALL NUMBER. 706 00:35:25,122 --> 00:35:27,325 WHAT IS INTERESTING, WE HADN'T QUITE CREATED WHAT SLAVERY WOULD 707 00:35:27,391 --> 00:35:28,860 LOOK LIKE IN THE YUT. 708 00:35:28,926 --> 00:35:32,196 OF COURSE WE CREATE LAWS TO DEAL WITH THINGS THAT ARE ALREADY 709 00:35:32,263 --> 00:35:33,397 HAPPENING. 710 00:35:33,464 --> 00:35:36,968 SO THE STATUS OF THEM WAS NOT WHAT WE WOULD COME TO KNOW AS 711 00:35:37,034 --> 00:35:37,535 CATTLE SLAVERY. 712 00:35:37,602 --> 00:35:38,336 THEY COULD BECOME FREE. 713 00:35:38,402 --> 00:35:39,670 THEY COULD OWN PROPERTY. 714 00:35:39,737 --> 00:35:42,840 IT WASN'T A SLAVERY THAT WAS INHERITED OR LIFE LONG. 715 00:35:42,907 --> 00:35:46,544 BUT WITHIN 30 YEARS OF THEM LANDING, WE WOULD BEGIN TO 716 00:35:46,611 --> 00:35:48,479 CREATE THAT SORT OF LIFELONG SLAVERY. 717 00:35:48,546 --> 00:35:52,116 >> Stephen: IN SOME WAYS-- CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG HERE-- 718 00:35:52,183 --> 00:35:54,619 THE BRITISH THERE THEIR COLONIES IN THE UNITED STATES, WHAT WOULD 719 00:35:54,685 --> 00:35:57,555 BECOME THE UNITED STATES, CREATED A NEW FORM OF SLAVERY. 720 00:35:57,622 --> 00:36:01,492 THERE HAD BEEN A LONG HISTORY OF SLAVERY IN THE WORLD. 721 00:36:01,559 --> 00:36:04,295 BUT THIS WAS A RACE-BASED SLAVERY THAT HADN'T EXISTED 722 00:36:04,362 --> 00:36:05,062 BEFORE. 723 00:36:05,129 --> 00:36:06,330 >> THAT'S RIGHT. 724 00:36:06,397 --> 00:36:10,735 UP UNTIL REALLY THE INSTITUTION OF CATTLE SLAVERY, PEOPLE BECAME 725 00:36:10,801 --> 00:36:12,870 SLAVES SOMETIMES BECAUSE OF WAR OR BECAUSE OF DEBT. 726 00:36:12,937 --> 00:36:14,005 SO IT WAS CONDITIONAL. 727 00:36:14,071 --> 00:36:22,547 BUT WHAT WAS CREATED BY THE EUROPEAN POWERS DURING THE 728 00:36:22,613 --> 00:36:24,949 TRANSATLANTIC, WAS RACE-BASED SLAVERY. 729 00:36:25,016 --> 00:36:26,150 IT WAS A SLAVERY INHERITED. 730 00:36:26,217 --> 00:36:30,054 PRIOR TO THAT, WHEN YOU HEAD CHILDREN, CHILDREN WEREN'T BORN 731 00:36:30,121 --> 00:36:34,792 INTO SLAVERY, BUT OF COURSE HERE EVERY PERSON-- EVERY WOMAN WHO 732 00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:37,995 WAS ENSLAVED WOULD GIVE BIRTH TO AN ENSLAVED CHILD, AND IT WAS A 733 00:36:38,062 --> 00:36:39,030 LIFELONG SLAVERY. 734 00:36:39,096 --> 00:36:41,132 SO YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE A CHANCE OF BECOMING FREE. 735 00:36:41,198 --> 00:36:43,167 >> Stephen: IT SEEMS LIKE THAT'S AN IMPORTANT THING TO 736 00:36:43,234 --> 00:36:43,501 KNOW. 737 00:36:43,568 --> 00:36:44,201 >> IT IS. 738 00:36:44,268 --> 00:36:45,336 >> Stephen: ABOUT YOUR COUNTRY. 739 00:36:45,403 --> 00:36:49,507 AND YET 14 STATES, 14 STATES OF THE UNITED STATES, HAVE 740 00:36:49,574 --> 00:36:52,610 ATTEMPTED TO BAN OR BANNED THE "THE 1619 PROJECT" FROM BEING 741 00:36:52,677 --> 00:36:54,245 TAUGHT IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS. 742 00:36:54,312 --> 00:36:59,116 WHAT'S YOUR THEORY ON WHY THERE HAS BEEN SUCH A STRONG BACKLASH 743 00:36:59,183 --> 00:37:00,351 IN SOME PARTS OF THE COUNTRY? 744 00:37:00,418 --> 00:37:06,457 >> I THINK WE ARE IN, OBVIOUSLY, A DEEPLY POLARIZED SOCIETY AND 745 00:37:06,524 --> 00:37:09,327 THAT CONSERVATIVES HAVE REALLY UNDERSTOOD THE OLDEST DIVIDE IN 746 00:37:09,393 --> 00:37:10,761 AMERICA IS THE RACE DIVIDE. 747 00:37:10,828 --> 00:37:16,500 SO IF YOU WANT TO STOKE DIVISION, IF YOU WANT TO WIN 748 00:37:16,567 --> 00:37:19,503 POLITICALLY, SCARING PEOPLE INTO THINKING THAT THEIR CHILDREN ARE 749 00:37:19,570 --> 00:37:22,707 LEARNING A HISTORY THAT'S TEACHING THEM THAT THEY'RE THE 750 00:37:22,773 --> 00:37:25,743 OPPRESSOR, THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE HEROES IF THEY'RE WHITE, I THINK 751 00:37:25,810 --> 00:37:28,312 HAS BEEN A VERY EFFECTIVE PROPAGANDA CAMPAIGN. 752 00:37:28,379 --> 00:37:31,515 BUT I THINK IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING THAT REGARDLESS OF HOW 753 00:37:31,582 --> 00:37:35,052 ANYONE FEELS ABOUT "THE 1619 PROJECT--" AND TRUST ME MOST OF 754 00:37:35,119 --> 00:37:37,488 THE PEOPLE TRYING TO BAN IT HAVE NEVER READ IT. 755 00:37:37,555 --> 00:37:42,026 IT'S VERY CLEAR-- THAT NO MATTER HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT, A FREE 756 00:37:42,093 --> 00:37:43,527 SOCIETY DOESN'T BAN BOOKS. 757 00:37:43,594 --> 00:37:46,030 A FREE SOCIETY DOES NOT DO THAT. 758 00:37:46,097 --> 00:37:53,304 ( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERING ) 759 00:37:53,371 --> 00:37:56,140 >> Stephen: ALONGSIDE-- ALONGSIGHT ANALYTICAL ESSAYS IN 760 00:37:56,207 --> 00:38:00,978 THE BOOK ARE POEMS AND MONOLOGUES AND PHOTOGRAPHS, 761 00:38:01,045 --> 00:38:04,348 INCLUDING THIS PHOTO RIGHT HERE I'D LIKE YOU TO TALK ABOUT. 762 00:38:04,415 --> 00:38:06,150 WHO IS THIS IN THIS PHOTOGRAPH RIGHT HERE? 763 00:38:06,217 --> 00:38:12,223 >> THIS IS MY FATHER, MILTON HANNA, WHO WAS BORN-- 764 00:38:12,289 --> 00:38:13,391 ( APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU. 765 00:38:13,457 --> 00:38:16,761 >> Stephen: MAO DOES HIS STORY FIT INTO YOUR LARGER STORY? 766 00:38:16,827 --> 00:38:19,497 >> IT'S SORT OF EMOTIONAL TO SEE HIM IN THIS WAY. 767 00:38:19,563 --> 00:38:24,101 MY FATHER WAS BORN ON A SHARECROPPING FARM IN GREENWOOD, 768 00:38:24,168 --> 00:38:28,572 MISSISSIPPI, IN 1945 WHEN BLACK PEOPLE HAD NO RIGHTS OF 769 00:38:28,639 --> 00:38:30,474 CITIZENSHIP IN THAT STATE. 770 00:38:30,541 --> 00:38:33,177 HE CERTAINLY COULDN'T IMAGINE ONE DAY HE WOULD BE THE FIRST 771 00:38:33,244 --> 00:38:35,846 IMAGE YOU SEE IN A BOOK LIKE THIS. 772 00:38:35,913 --> 00:38:38,983 I OPENED THE DEMOCRACY ESSAY WHICH REALLY ARGUES BLACK 773 00:38:39,050 --> 00:38:41,886 AMERICANS HAVE BEEN THE GREATEST DEMOCRATIZING FORCE IN THE 774 00:38:41,952 --> 00:38:43,087 HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES. 775 00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:47,758 AND I OPEN WITH MY FATHER, A VETERAN, WHO LOVED HIS COUNTRY, 776 00:38:47,825 --> 00:38:54,165 WHO SERVED HIS COUNTRY, AND WHO FLEW THIS GIGANTIC AMERICAN FLAG 777 00:38:54,231 --> 00:38:55,399 IN OUR YARD. 778 00:38:55,466 --> 00:38:58,569 AND THE ESSAY GRAPPLES WITH HOW I CAME TO UNDERSTAND WHY A MAN 779 00:38:58,636 --> 00:39:04,575 WHO WAS BORN INTO A COUNTRY THAT WOULD NOT TREAT HIM AS AN EQUAL 780 00:39:04,642 --> 00:39:07,278 CITIZEN BECAUSE HE WAS BLACK COULD HAVE THAT MUCH LOVE FOR 781 00:39:07,344 --> 00:39:08,512 HIS COUNTRY. 782 00:39:08,579 --> 00:39:11,148 HE EXHIBITED THE HIGHEST CALLING OF PATRIOTISM, TO SEE THE WAY 783 00:39:11,215 --> 00:39:14,885 YOUR COUNTRY IS FAILING,s TO SEE THE HYPOCRISY OF YOUR 784 00:39:14,952 --> 00:39:18,522 COUNTRY, AND NOT LIVING UP TO ITS HIGHEST IDEALS BUT STILL 785 00:39:18,589 --> 00:39:20,591 BELIEVING YOUR COUNTRY CAN BECOME THE THING WE ALL DREAM IT 786 00:39:20,658 --> 00:39:21,726 TO BE. 787 00:39:21,792 --> 00:39:25,262 AND THAT'S WHAT MY FATHER REALLY STANDS FOR IN THIS BOOK. 788 00:39:25,329 --> 00:39:26,697 >> Stephen: NIKOLE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. 789 00:39:26,764 --> 00:39:30,034 >> THANK YOU. 790 00:39:30,101 --> 00:39:33,104 >> Stephen: THE BOOK, "THE 1619 PROJECT: A NEW ORIGIN STORY" IS 791 00:39:33,170 --> 00:39:33,804 AVAILABLE NOW. 792 00:39:33,871 --> 00:39:34,305 NIKOLE HANNAH-JONES, EVERYBODY. 793 00:39:34,371 --> 00:39:36,140 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 794 00:39:56,994 --> 00:39:58,896 >> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." 795 00:39:58,963 --> 00:40:00,931 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE KERRY WASHINGTON. 796 00:40:00,998 --> 00:40:01,532 STICK AROUND FOR JAMES CORDEN. 797 00:40:01,599 --> 00:40:02,099 GOOD NIGHT.