1 00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:05,205 >> THE WAIT IS FINALLY OVER. AFTER SIX LONG YEARS, RIHANNA 2 00:00:05,271 --> 00:00:08,575 HAS RELEASED A NEW SINGLE. IT'S CALLED "LIFT ME UP." 3 00:00:08,641 --> 00:00:10,710 IT'S THE LEAD SINGLE FROM MARVEL'S UPCOMING BLOCKBUSTER 4 00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:13,113 SEQUEL, "BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER." 5 00:00:58,124 --> 00:01:02,061 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 6 00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:03,563 TONIGHT: 7 00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:12,472 TRICK OR TWEET? PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: 8 00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:15,108 JENNIFER HUDSON AND ZOSIA MAMET. 9 00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:20,346 FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW BAND. 10 00:01:22,682 --> 00:01:25,885 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 11 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:31,591 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! IT 12 00:01:32,992 --> 00:01:40,099 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 13 00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:55,048 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HELLO, HELLO, HELLO. 14 00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:58,284 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HELLO, HELLO, HELLO. 15 00:01:58,351 --> 00:02:00,653 HAPPY MONDAY. HELLO! 16 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:07,927 WELCOME, ONE AND ALL... THANK YOU. 17 00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:10,997 WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW." I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 18 00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:16,769 FIRST OF ALL,-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 19 00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:22,208 ( APPLAUSE ) IT'S THE SCARIEST NIGHT IN 20 00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:24,711 AMERICA, JUST ABOVE EVERY OTHER NIGHT IN AMERICA. 21 00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:32,352 ( LAUGHTER ) STILL RIDIN' A SUGAR HIGH, 22 00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:33,720 WELCOME TO LATE NIGHT. DON'T FALL ASLEEP, NO MATTER 23 00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:36,523 WHAT YOUR PARENTS SAY, BECAUSE THE MINUTE YOU GO TO BED, 24 00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:40,126 THEY'RE STEALING ALL YOUR BEST CANNED. 25 00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:45,398 I'M TALKING KIT KAT. KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 26 00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:47,667 KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? GIVE ME A BREAK. 27 00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:51,571 ( APPLAUSE ) YEAR? 28 00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:59,445 I'M DRESSED UP AS MY DOG BENNY. ( LAUGHTER ) 29 00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:05,919 IT'S A VERY SPECIAL HALLOWEEN BECAUSE THE POWERBALL JACKPOT 30 00:03:05,985 --> 00:03:20,867 HAS REACHED $1 BILLION. ( APPLAUSE ) 31 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:24,537 HAS REACHED $1 BILLION. ( APPLAUSE ) 32 00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:26,940 BEEN THIS HIGH IN POWERBALL'S HISTORY. 33 00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:28,708 BEFORE POWERBALL, OF COURSE, THE MOST POPULAR LOTTO GAME WAS JUST 34 00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,843 BALL. THE WINNER WOULD GET A BALL. 35 00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:32,812 THE LOSER WOULD GET TYPHUS. ALSO THE WINNER. 36 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,781 THE POWERBALL DRAWING OCCURRED AT 11:00 P.M. TONIGHT, WHICH IS 37 00:03:34,847 --> 00:03:36,583 AFTER WE TAPE THIS SHOW. BUT I CAN ALREADY ANNOUNCE THE 38 00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:43,323 WINNING NUMBERS: THEY ARE 4, 9, 20, 22, 69, WITH 39 00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:46,326 A POWERBALL OF 20. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 40 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:54,300 YOU CAN TAKE IT TO THE BANK! HOW DO I KNOW? 41 00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:57,971 BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE ONES ON MY TICKET. 42 00:03:58,037 --> 00:04:01,841 SO THAT'S WHAT WON, REGARDLESS OF THE LIES YOU HEAR IN THE 43 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:05,945 MAINSTREAM MEDIA. ( APPLAUSE ) 44 00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:11,751 IF I WIN-- IF I AM CORRECT, I WILL SPLIT THIS WITH EVERYONE IN 45 00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:17,056 THIS ROOM. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 46 00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:21,094 OKAY? THAT'S RIGHT. 47 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:30,970 OKAY? LIKE 95-5. 48 00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:33,306 OF COURSE, I HOPE EVERYONE WINS. WE ALL NEED SOMETHING TO CHEER 49 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:36,943 US UP, AFTER THAT MANIAC BROKE INTO NANCY PELOSI'S HOUSE AND 50 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:41,848 HIT HER HUSBAND IN THE HEAD WITH A HAMMER. 51 00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:42,949 NOW, PAUL PELOSI IS STILL IN THE HOSPITAL. 52 00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:46,753 THANKFULLY, HE IS EXPECTED TO MAKE A FULL RECOVERY. 53 00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:50,089 THE ATTACKER-- ( APPLAUSE ). 54 00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:57,230 ( APPLAUSE ) FEDERAL CHARGES FOR ASSAULT AND 55 00:04:57,296 --> 00:05:01,834 ATTEMPTED KIDNAPPING, IS NAMED DAVID WAYNE DEPAPE. 56 00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:04,937 WE'VE GOT TO STOP GIVING PEOPLE THE MIDDLE NAME "WAYNE." 57 00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:08,841 IT NEVER ENDS WELL. DAVID "WAYNE" DEPAPE. 58 00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:12,311 JOHN "WAYNE" GACY. OSAMA "WAYNE" LADEN. 59 00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:16,883 ( LAUGHTER ) IT APPEARS DEPAPE IS EXTREMELY 60 00:05:16,949 --> 00:05:21,154 MENTALLY ILL AND HAS ALSO MADE RACIST POSTS ONLINE, INCLUDING 61 00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:25,158 SOME THAT QUESTIONED THE RESULTS OF THE 2020 ELECTION, DEFENDED 62 00:05:25,224 --> 00:05:31,798 THE FORMER PRESIDENT, AND ECHOED QANON CONSPIRACY THEORIES. 63 00:05:31,864 --> 00:05:33,166 SO EITHER HE'S GOING TO BE INSTITUTIONALIZED, OR THE G.O.P. 64 00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:37,603 NOMINEE IN 2024. ( APPLAUSE ) 65 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:45,912 ( APPLAUSE ) COMMON IN AMERICA NOW, BUT 66 00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:49,248 HERE'S SOMETHING I DIDN'T SEE COMING: DEPAPE IS FROM BRITISH 67 00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:54,520 COLUMBIA. HE'S CANADIAN. 68 00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:55,822 THAT'S HOW TOXIC OUR POLITICS ARE-- CANADA GOT A CONTACT 69 00:05:55,888 --> 00:06:00,993 CRAZY. ( LAUGHTER ) 70 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:08,401 TO "DUDLEY DID-WHAT?!" THE DISCOURSE IN AMERICA IS 71 00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:11,170 ABOUT TO GET WAY WORSE THANKS TO NEW TWITTER C.E.O. ELON MUSK 72 00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:14,107 ( BOOING ) SEEN HERE WATCHING STREET 73 00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:19,512 URCHINS SCRAMBLE FOR HIS DISCARDED CHICKEN BONE. 74 00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:22,315 MUSK TOOK OVER TWITTER ON FRIDAY AND, IMMEDIATELY, THERE WAS AN 75 00:06:22,381 --> 00:06:28,287 EXPLOSION OF HATE SPEECH, INCLUDING USE OF THE N-WORD ON 76 00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:31,624 THE PLATFORM, WHICH JUMPED 500%, LEADING TWITTER TO CHANGE THE 77 00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:32,692 LANDING PAGE FROM WHAT'S HAPPENING? 78 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:37,396 TO >> "WHAT'S HAPPENING?!?!?!?!" 79 00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:41,701 >> Stephen: THE COMPANY BLAMED IT ON TROLLS, BUT OF ALL THE 80 00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:43,236 TROLLS ON TWITTER, NONE ARE TROLLIER THAN THE TROLL WHO JUST 81 00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:45,204 BOUGHT IT, BECAUSE YESTERDAY, MUSK REPLIED 82 00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:47,507 TO A TWEET FROM HILLARY CLINTON ABOUT THE ATTACK ON PAUL PELOSI 83 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:49,776 THAT CONDEMNED THE VIOLENCE AND CONSPIRACY THEORIES WITH A LINK 84 00:06:49,842 --> 00:06:52,044 TO A HOMOPHOBIC CONSPIRACY THEORY BLAMING THE VICTIM OF THE 85 00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:56,482 VIOLENCE. THAT'S NOT JUST AWFUL. 86 00:06:56,549 --> 00:07:00,887 THAT IS BEYOND THE PALE-- AND SO IS ELON MUSK. 87 00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:08,895 ( LAUGHTER ) NOT SO MUCH MOBY AS JUST A DICK. 88 00:07:08,961 --> 00:07:20,106 ( APPLAUSE ) THAR HE BLOWS! 89 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,575 BOY, THAT MAKES ME MAD. I JUST WANT TO-- WHAT DO I WANT 90 00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:25,845 TO DO, SPEAKER PELOSI? >> I'M GOING TO PUNCH HIM OUT. 91 00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:31,083 I'M GOING TO GO TO JAIL, AND I'M GOING TO BE HAPPY." 92 00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:36,789 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HELP DON'T CROSS NANCY. 93 00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:39,592 IS THIS TRUE? I AM BEING TOLD THERE IS NEWS OF 94 00:07:39,659 --> 00:07:43,462 MUSK BREAKING TWITTER, BECAUSE WE FOUND OUT TODAY THAT ELON 95 00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:48,501 MUSK HAS DISSOLVED THE COMPANY'S BOARD AND CROWNED HIMSELF SOLE 96 00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:56,442 DIRECTOR. THAT SOUNDS POWER-MAD. 97 00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:58,077 BUT DON'T WORRY. BEFORE HE GOT THAT TITLE, HE RAN 98 00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,512 IT BY THE C.F.O., ELON MUSK; THE HEAD OF H.R., ELON MUSK; AND THE 99 00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:03,082 PERSONAL ASSISTANT TO ELON MUSK, ELON MUSK. 100 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:08,588 ( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S IT. 101 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:14,327 IT'S DONE. ( APPLAUSE ) 102 00:08:14,393 --> 00:08:18,664 LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU, KIDS: IF YOU WORK HARD, AND 103 00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:22,368 BECOME WEALTHY AND POWERFUL ENOUGH, ONE DAY, YOU, TOO, CAN 104 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:24,971 PAY $44 BILLION TO SIT IN A ROOM BY YOURSELF. 105 00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:32,645 ( LAUGHTER ) THE MIDTERMS, COMING UP. 106 00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:35,514 THE MIDTERMS ARE A WEEK FROM TOMORROW. 107 00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,049 THE RACE IS TIGHTENING, SO THE DEMOCRATS HAVE UNLEASHED THEIR 108 00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:43,623 SECRET WEAPON: BARACK OBAMA. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 109 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:47,593 I KNOW. I KNOW. 110 00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:51,597 CONSTITUTION. HE SPENT THE WEEKEND DOING 111 00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:58,371 RALLIES FOR HIS PARTY, AND SOME LADIES IN MICHIGAN WERE INTO IT. 112 00:08:58,437 --> 00:09:05,544 >> NOW, I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT SOMETIMES GOING OUT ON THE 113 00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:07,480 CAMPAIGN TRAIL FEELS A LITTLE HARDER THAN IT USED TO, NOT JUST 114 00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:14,120 BECAUSE I'M OLDER AND GRAYER. ( CHEERING ) 115 00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:25,898 OKAY. ( APPLAUSE ) 116 00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:30,069 YOU SAID THAT. ( LAUGHTER ) 117 00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:41,981 ( LAUGHTER ) POINT OUT, THAT'S TWO THINGS THE 118 00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,316 45th PRESIDENT WILL NEVER HAVE: A CROWD SHOUTING HOW HOT HE IS 119 00:09:43,382 --> 00:09:53,526 AND A WIFE WHO AGREES. ( APPLAUSE ) 120 00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:56,128 WHERE HE WENT AFTER REPUBLICAN SENATE CANDIDATE HERSCHEL 121 00:09:56,195 --> 00:09:59,398 WALKER, SEEN HERE IN A STADIUM FILLED WITH HIS SECRET CHILDREN. 122 00:09:59,465 --> 00:10:07,473 ( LAUGHTER ) OBAMA MADE THE CASE AGAINST 123 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:11,510 WALKER. >> IN COLLEGE, HE WAS AMAZING. 124 00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:17,116 ONE OF THE BEST RUNNING BACKS OF ALL TIME. 125 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:21,020 BUT HERE IS THE QUESTION: DOES THAT MAKE HIM THE BEST PERSON TO 126 00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:22,421 REPRESENT YOU IN THE U.S. SENATE? 127 00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:27,159 AND BY THE WAY, THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE, TOO. 128 00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:29,829 LIKE, YOU MAY HAVE LIKED ME AS PRESIDENT, BUT YOU WOULD NOT 129 00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:32,431 WANT ME STARTING AS TAILBACK FOR THE DOGS. 130 00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:35,401 ( LAUGHTER ) YOU'D BE TERRIBLE AT ANY 131 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:50,349 POSITION, ESPECIALLY QUARTERBACK: 132 00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:51,350 POSITION, ESPECIALLY QUARTERBACK: 133 00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:59,658 "UHHH, LOOK, UHHHH, BLUE, FLUE, UUHHHH 42... 134 00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:06,665 O.. MA...HA... ( LAUGHTER ) 135 00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:11,103 HOLD ON. HOLD ON. 136 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:16,575 HOHOLD ON. HUT." 137 00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:18,077 THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO. 138 00:11:18,144 --> 00:11:31,390 ( APPLAUSE ) BRAZIL. 139 00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:35,361 YOU'RE FROM BRAZIL. BIG NEWS OUT OF YOUR HOME 140 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:40,399 COUNTRY RIGHT THERE. IT'S IN THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE 141 00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:42,468 BETWEEN FAR-RIGHT INCUMBENT AND GUY WHO WON'T STOP COMPLEMENTING 142 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:46,238 YOUR OPEN-TOED SANDALS, JAIR BOLSONARO AND LEFTIST FORMER 143 00:11:46,305 --> 00:11:49,775 PRESIDENT AND COWBOY DESCRIBING HIS MISSING HAT, LUIZ INACIO 144 00:11:49,842 --> 00:11:53,879 LULA DA SILVA. THIS WAS A HIGH-STAKES ELECTION, 145 00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:56,882 BECAUSE BOLSONARO IS KNOWN FOR EMBRACING FASCISM, INTENTIONALLY 146 00:11:56,949 --> 00:11:59,518 LETTING THE CORONAVIRUS KILL HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS, AND 147 00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:04,790 OVERSEEING A SURGE IN DEFORESTATION IN THE AMAZON. 148 00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:10,796 AND AS ANY BRAZILIAN WILL TELL YOU, DEFORESTATION SHOULD HAPPEN 149 00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:15,534 ONLY ALONG THE BIKINI LINE. WELL, THE RESULTS ARE FINALLY 150 00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:19,371 IN, AND BY A RAZOR-THIN MARGIN, BRAZIL HAS ELECTED LULA! 151 00:12:19,438 --> 00:12:21,740 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IS THIS A GOOD THING? 152 00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:24,443 >> THAT IS A GREAT THING. >> Stephen: THAT IS A GREAT 153 00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:25,344 THING? >> YES. 154 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:28,447 >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO, THERE YOU GO. 155 00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:31,317 WHEN THE RESULTS WERE ANNOUNCED, THOUSANDS OF BRAZILIANS ACROSS 156 00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:35,121 THE COUNTRY WERE ECSTATIC AND CAME OUT TO CELEBRATE. 157 00:12:35,187 --> 00:12:44,797 THINGS GOT SO WILD, EVEN CHRIST THE REDEEMER GOT INTO IT. 158 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:48,467 THIS IS A HUGE-- I GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING. 159 00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:49,735 THIS IS A HUGE COMEBACK FOR LULA. 160 00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:53,405 IN THE YEARS SINCE HIS LAST TERM ENDED, HE WAS IMPRISONED AFTER A 161 00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:55,574 SENTENCE FOR CORRUPTION, BEFORE BRAZIL'S SUPREME COURT ANNULLED 162 00:12:55,641 --> 00:12:59,311 HIS CONVICTIONS. HOLY ROLLERCOASTER. 163 00:12:59,378 --> 00:13:03,315 THIS GUY'S GETTING ONE HELL OF A SEQUEL. 164 00:13:03,382 --> 00:13:04,617 YOU CAN WATCH IT ALL IN THE MOVIE "LULA PART TWO-LA 165 00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:08,087 ELECTRIC BOOGA-LULA." ( APPLAUSE ) 166 00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:17,029 THERE YOU GO. DESPITE THE RESULT, BRAZILIANS 167 00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:21,066 ARE ON EDGE. LULA'S WIN CAME AT THE END OF 168 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,002 A VERY MESSY ELECTION WHERE MISINFORMATION SOARED. 169 00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:26,272 AT TIMES, LULA'S SUPPORTERS ACCUSED BOLSONARO OF BEING A 170 00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:29,675 CANNIBAL AND A PEDOPHILE, AND BOLSONARO'S SUPPORTERS CALLED 171 00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:33,279 LULA A SATANIST, A GANG LEADER, AND A COMMUNIST. 172 00:13:33,345 --> 00:13:34,513 COMMUNIST GANG LEADERS ARE THE WORST. 173 00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:39,885 ( AS MOB BOSS ) HERE. 174 00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:42,588 BE A SHAME IF THE WORKERS CONTROLLED THE MEANS OF 175 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,857 PRODUCTION, KNOW-WHAT-IM-SAYIN?" OKAY? 176 00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:55,701 I HATE TO SEE SOMEBODY FORWARD THE DIALECTIC. 177 00:13:55,768 --> 00:14:01,173 WE ALL KNOW WHAT COMES NEXT. A BUNCH OF INSANE ELECTION 178 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,777 CONSPIRACIES FROM THE HEAD OF BRAZIL'S BIGGEST LINEN COMPANY, 179 00:14:04,843 --> 00:14:09,715 MY PILLAO WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 180 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:12,418 TONIGHT! MY GUESTS ARE JENNIFER HUDSON 181 00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:17,523 AND ZOSIA MAMET. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, ROBOTS! 182 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,457 STICK AROUND. 183 00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:54,627 ( APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU. 184 00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:58,230 HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK! FOLKS, AS MUCH AS I LOVE 185 00:14:58,297 --> 00:15:00,799 TECHNOLOGY, I LIKE JOKES ABOUT TECHNOLOGY EVEN MORE. 186 00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:10,643 THIS IS "CYBORGASM." 187 00:15:14,613 --> 00:15:25,658 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ALWAYS! 188 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:31,764 FIRST UP, AFTER JUMPING ON THE CRYPTO TRAIN LAST YEAR, 189 00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:33,232 CRYPTO TRAIN LAST YEAR, pCNN SUDDENLY SHUTTERED ITS N.F.T. 190 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:38,837 MARKETPLACE." THAT'S TOO BAD. 191 00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:40,539 I REALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO MAKE A FORTUNE OFF THEIR 192 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:44,376 BORED BLITZERS. ( LAUGHTER ) 193 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:50,149 CRAFTED LIVING SKIN FOR ROBOTS, FURTHER BLURRING THE LINE 194 00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:51,850 BETWEEN HUMAN AND MACINE." OH, THANKS. 195 00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:54,720 ALSO, QUICK QUESTION: WHY DO WE WANT THE LINE TO BE 196 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:59,024 BLURRY? ( LAUGHTER ) 197 00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:01,460 AND THOUGHT, "I WISH IT WAS EASIER TO CONFUSE THAT WITH MY 198 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:05,397 COUSIN RICK." ( LAUGHTER ) 199 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:10,903 THEY'RE TRYING TO MAKE THE FLESH AS REAL AS POSSIBLE, AND IT 200 00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:13,138 ALREADY REPLICATES THE "BIOLOGICAL FUNCTIONS OF SKIN, 201 00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:16,542 SUCH AS ITS ABILITY TO SELF-REPAIR AND REPEL WATER." 202 00:16:16,608 --> 00:16:22,081 SURE, BUT CAN IT BE SOMEHOW BOTH BE TOO DRY AND TOO OILY, AND GET 203 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:27,119 SPOTS ON IT BECAUSE IT'S 50, AND THEN STAYS UP WONDERING ABOUT A 204 00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:28,754 WEIRD MOLE THAT IT CAN'T SEE, SO IT HAS TO WAIT UNTIL ITS WIFE 205 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,256 WAKES UP TO ASK HER TO LOOK AT IT? 206 00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:45,838 THEN IT'S HUMAN SKIN. ( APPLAUSE ) 207 00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:48,307 MAKE YOU FLY LIKE IRON MAN-- IF YOU'RE RICH," BECAUSE THESE 208 00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:51,777 THINGS COST AROUND $400,000. WOW, THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY FOR A 209 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:52,678 GLORIFIED TOY. I MEAN, WHO'S GOING TO SPEND 210 00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:55,714 THAT KIND OF-- OH, MY LORD, GIVE ME ONE! 211 00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:58,150 ZOOM! ZOOM HITHER AND THITHER, SKY 212 00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:00,953 MAN! CONQUER THE HEAVENS, YOU 213 00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:05,791 CARGO-PANTS'D APOLLO! FOR NOW, THE COMPANY SAYS THIS 214 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,527 THING IS MAINLY FOR MILITARY CLIENTS, AND "THE SUIT IS 215 00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:12,164 UNLIKELY TO MAKE IT INTO THE PUBLIC DOMAIN ANYTIME SOON," 216 00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:14,833 ADDING, "IT WOULD BE LIKE TAKING A NASCAR DOWN TO WALMART. 217 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:21,607 YOU COULD, BUT NO ONE WOULD." ( LAUGHTER ) 218 00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:31,717 ( APPLAUSE ) BEAR CRAP IN THE WOODS?" 219 00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:36,054 "YOU GUYS WANT TO GO FOR A "DOES DALE DRIVE NASCAR TO 220 00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:41,493 WALMART?" NEXT UP, RESEARCHERS ARE ASKING, 221 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,997 "WHO WOULD USE A SEX ROBOT?" AND TRYING TO "PREDICT PEOPLE'S 222 00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:47,666 WILLINGNESS TO ENGAGE WITH NEW EROTIC TECHNOLOGIES," BY USING 223 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:51,537 "PERSONALITY ASSESSMENTS." OH, THERE'S A WHOLE MYERS-BRIGGS 224 00:17:51,603 --> 00:17:55,340 PERSONALITY CATEGORY FOR THIS. "YOU'RE AN E.N.T.J.? 225 00:17:55,407 --> 00:18:00,446 I'M A D.T.F. C-3P0." ( LAUGHTER ) 226 00:18:00,512 --> 00:18:07,619 SO, SO, AFTER ALL-- ( APPLAUSE ) 227 00:18:07,686 --> 00:18:10,255 WHAT PERSONALITY TYPE WAS DETERMINED TO BE MOST 228 00:18:10,322 --> 00:18:15,461 ROBO-CURIOUS? BRACE YOURSELVES, BECAUSE 229 00:18:15,527 --> 00:18:18,363 APPARENTLY, "MEN ARE MORE PRONE TO USING SEX ROBOTS." 230 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:23,635 ( LAUGHTER ) THANK YOU, SCIENCE. 231 00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:26,905 WE LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR NEXT GROUNDBREAKING REPORT: "DUDES 232 00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:30,008 WILL STICK IT IN A TREE STUMP." ( LAUGHTER ) 233 00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:39,985 BASED ON A TRUE STORY. NEXT UP, "AMAZON'S ROBOTS ARE 234 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:43,021 GETTING CLOSER TO REPLACING HUMAN HANDS," AND CAN HANDLE 235 00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:46,391 "MORE THAN 1,000 ITEMS AN HOUR, MEANING IT COULD PICK AND STOW 236 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,760 ITEMS AT RATES SEVERAL TIMES FASTER THAN A HUMAN WORKER 237 00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:59,438 COULD." BUT CAN THOSE HANDS DO THIS? 238 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:01,940 BOW! BOW BEFORE YOUR GOD, ROBOT 239 00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:07,813 MINIONS! ( LAUGHTER ) 240 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:15,988 "OUR INVESTMENTS IN ROBOTICS AND TECHNOLOGY ARE HELPING MAKE JOBS 241 00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:17,923 IN OUR FACTORIES BETTER, EASIER, AND SAFER, AS WELL AS CREATING 242 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,157 NEW CAREER OPPORTUNITIES FOR OUR PEOPLE." 243 00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,193 ADDING, "CAREER OPPORTUNITIES AT OTHER COMPANIES-- NOT OURS! 244 00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:26,798 WE'RE GOING ALL ROBOTS. GOOD LUCK, SKIN BAGS!" 245 00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:38,076 ( LAUGHTER ) AND FINALLY, FINALLY, THERE IS 246 00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:40,212 NOW A FIREFIGHTING ROBOT. LET'S SEE IT IN ACTION. 247 00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:42,080 IT CAN DRIVE AROUND AND, APPARENTLY, IT'S SO POWERFUL IT 248 00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:45,217 CAN BLAST 1,200 GALLONS OF WATER A MINUTE ON A FIRE. 249 00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:47,786 SO, ADMITTEDLY, LESS USEFUL FOR GETTING YOUR CAT OUT OF A TREE. 250 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,488 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 251 00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:09,341 ( APPLAUSE ) EVERYBODY! 252 00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:12,844 GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND RIGHT OVER THERE, LOUIS CATO. 253 00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:16,248 AND THE LATE SHOW BAND. A LITTLE FROSTY. 254 00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:23,288 A LITTLE CHILLY TONIGHT. >> Louis: IT'S A COLD ONE. 255 00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:25,824 >> Stephen: LADIES AND GENTLEMENS, FOLKS AND SUCH, 256 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:34,399 FELLOW CITIZENS ALL, PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY. 257 00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:36,501 FOLKS, MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS A SINGER, ACTOR, TALK SHOW HOST 258 00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:40,672 AND AS OF THIS YEAR, THE YOUNGEST FEMALE EGOT WINNER. 259 00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:44,009 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," JENNIFER HUDSON. 260 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:58,957 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 261 00:20:59,024 --> 00:21:02,594 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ) 262 00:21:02,661 --> 00:21:06,198 YOU. >> YOU, TOO? ! 263 00:21:06,264 --> 00:21:08,800 >> Stephen: HAPPY HALLOWEEN. >> HAPPY HALLOWEEN. 264 00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:10,736 >> Stephen: I LIKE THOSE NAILS. 265 00:21:10,802 --> 00:21:12,270 THEY'RE WITCHY. >> THEY'RE LIKE MY CAT NAILS. 266 00:21:12,337 --> 00:21:13,805 >> Stephen: I LIKE THE BOOTS, TOO? 267 00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:16,108 >> YOU LIKE THE BOOTS. I WAS TRYING TO HAVE A LITTLE 268 00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:17,542 FUN WITH YOU. >> Stephen: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU 269 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:20,178 MADE THEM OUT OF GROVER. >> GROVER! 270 00:21:20,245 --> 00:21:22,614 >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU. >> NICE TO SEE YOU! 271 00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:27,085 >> Stephen: NOW, SINCE I SAW YOU LAST, AS I SAID THERE, YOU 272 00:21:27,152 --> 00:21:31,990 BECAME THE 17 EGOT WINNER-- EXPLAIN TO THE PEOPLE WHAT 273 00:21:32,057 --> 00:21:33,492 EGOT-- >> EXPLAIN. 274 00:21:33,558 --> 00:21:35,560 >> Stephen: FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW, WHAT IS AN EGOT. 275 00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:40,966 >> AN EGOT IS WHEN YOU WIN THE EMMY, AGREEMENT, OSCAR AND TONY. 276 00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:43,669 THAT'S AS FAR AS I CAN EXPLAIN BECAUSE I'M STILL TRYING TO 277 00:21:43,735 --> 00:21:45,237 FIGURE IT OUT. >> Stephen: WOW. 278 00:21:45,303 --> 00:21:48,340 >> IT'S SO NEW TO ME. >> Stephen: HERE YOU ARE, HERE 279 00:21:48,407 --> 00:21:53,245 YOU ARE. WITH YOUR EMMY, GRAMMYS, OSCAR 280 00:21:53,311 --> 00:21:56,782 AND TONE. >> THAT'S AMAZING. 281 00:21:56,848 --> 00:21:59,317 THAT'S ME INTRODUCING EACH ONE OF THEM TO THE OTHER. 282 00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:01,086 THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME THEY MET. 283 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:04,723 >> Stephen: HOW DID YOU-- HOW DID YOU INTRODUCE-- I SAID, 284 00:22:04,790 --> 00:22:08,427 TONY, HERE IS OSCAR. OSCAR, HERE IS GRAMMY." 285 00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:10,996 >> Stephen: GRAMMY HERE IS EMMY. 286 00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:13,632 DO THEY GET ALONG? >> YEAH, STOW FAR, SO GOOD. 287 00:22:13,699 --> 00:22:15,867 >> Stephen: OSCAR DOESN'T LORD IT OVER THE OTHER ONE? 288 00:22:15,934 --> 00:22:18,136 >> WELL, YEAH, IT DOES. IT DOES. 289 00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:20,739 >> Stephen: IT HAS AN ATTITUDE. 290 00:22:20,806 --> 00:22:23,442 >> IT SAYS p♪ HAAA♪ 291 00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:27,179 >> Stephen: JENNIFER, YOU HAVE ANOTHER BIG THING ON YOUR 292 00:22:27,245 --> 00:22:28,814 RESUME. YOU ARE NOW THE HOST OF THE "THE 293 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:34,453 JENNIFER HUDSON SHOW." WHICH-- WHICH-- AND ITS 294 00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:37,255 INAUGURAL SEASON WAS JUST NOMINATED FOR A PEOPLE'S CHOICE. 295 00:22:37,322 --> 00:22:39,958 >> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: NO, THANK YOU. 296 00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:41,760 >> THANK YOU. OH, MY GOODNESS! 297 00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:44,596 >> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR DOING A TALK SHOW RIGHT. 298 00:22:44,663 --> 00:22:46,965 IS THERE ANYTHING ABOUT THE JOB BECAUSE IT'S DAILY BROADCAST. 299 00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:49,067 >> YES, YES. >> Stephen: WHICH I DIG. 300 00:22:49,134 --> 00:22:51,470 AND THEN YOU'RE INTERVIEWING PEOPLE AND YOU'RE DOING BITS. 301 00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:53,105 IS THERE ANYTHING THAT SURPRISED YOU ABOUT IF? 302 00:22:53,171 --> 00:22:56,475 >> ALL THE TERMS. >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 303 00:22:56,541 --> 00:22:59,611 >> LIKE THE NEW TERMS. I'M AN ACTRESS. 304 00:22:59,678 --> 00:23:02,380 I'M USED TO "ACTION" AND CAN THE CUT." 305 00:23:02,447 --> 00:23:05,183 WHEN I HEAR REQUESTED AREA." WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. 306 00:23:05,250 --> 00:23:07,185 >> Stephen: AN AREA TO TALK ABOUT THE GUEST. 307 00:23:07,252 --> 00:23:11,256 WHAT AREA WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. >> ALL THE PRODUCERS ARE RUNNING 308 00:23:11,323 --> 00:23:13,525 AROUND BECAUSE THERE ARE SUPER MAJOR EVENTS. 309 00:23:13,592 --> 00:23:17,662 AND I'M LIKE, GUYS, I'M NEW. WHAT DOES AREA MEAN, AND WHAT 310 00:23:17,729 --> 00:23:21,366 DOES TEASER MEAN? I'M STILL LEARNING THOSE TERMS, 311 00:23:21,433 --> 00:23:26,972 BECAUSE IT'S A WHOLE NEW WORLD, LEAST FOR AN ACTOR OR SINGER. 312 00:23:27,038 --> 00:23:30,475 IF I'M ACTING, IT WILL SAY, "ACTION." 313 00:23:30,542 --> 00:23:32,444 >> Stephen: OR "PLACES." >> AND I'LL BE LIKE, I'M 314 00:23:32,511 --> 00:23:36,148 SUPPOSED TO TALK NOW? I'M GETTING TO OF USED TO THAT. 315 00:23:36,214 --> 00:23:39,317 >> Stephen: PEOPLE SEEM TO BE LIKING IT. 316 00:23:39,384 --> 00:23:41,586 THERE'S A CLIP GOING AROUND THAT'S VIRAL. 317 00:23:41,653 --> 00:23:44,222 DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO SHOW THEM? 318 00:23:44,289 --> 00:23:46,892 IT'S SINGING WITH THE WOMAN-- YOU'RE SINGING SOME GOSPEL 319 00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:50,362 REQUESTED BY AN AUDIENCE MEMBER. DO YOU REMEMBER THE STORY BEHIND 320 00:23:50,428 --> 00:23:52,931 THIS MOMENT? >> YES, I THINK HER NAME WAS 321 00:23:52,998 --> 00:23:54,199 MARILYN. >> Stephen: YES. 322 00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,735 >> AND SHE WAS IN THE AUDIENCE. SHE HAD JUST TURNED, LIKE, 93 OR 323 00:23:56,802 --> 00:23:57,936 SO. >> Stephen: WOW. 324 00:23:58,003 --> 00:24:02,574 >> AND SHE SAID I WOULD LOVE HER TO SING ME A GOSPEL SONG. 325 00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:05,277 IF I COULD DO TI WOULD. SO I DID. 326 00:24:05,343 --> 00:24:06,678 AND IT WAS ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT. 327 00:24:06,745 --> 00:24:09,848 I LOVE TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT. AND EVERYBODY IS A PART OF IT. 328 00:24:09,915 --> 00:24:15,387 IT'S LIKE I WANTED HER TO BE ABLE TO WALK AWAY WITH A GOOD 329 00:24:15,453 --> 00:24:17,455 MEMORY. >> Stephen: HERE IT IS. 330 00:24:17,522 --> 00:24:32,404 ♪ JESUS PROMISED ME A HOME NO MORE SICKNESS, SORROW, PAIN 331 00:24:32,470 --> 00:24:37,909 ♪ JESUS PROMISED ME A HOME NO MORE SICKNESS, SORROW, PAIN 332 00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:47,118 ♪ JESUS, HE PROMISED ME A HOME OVER THERE ♪ 333 00:24:47,185 --> 00:24:54,459 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: FANTASTIC. 334 00:24:54,526 --> 00:24:57,262 >> I LOVE MOMENTS LIKE THAT. >> Stephen: NOT TO PUT YOU ON 335 00:24:57,329 --> 00:25:00,498 THE SPOT, BUT DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER LITTLE GOPS NEL YOUR 336 00:25:00,565 --> 00:25:02,434 POCKET RIGHT NOW? >> ANOTHER GOSPEL? 337 00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:06,571 >> Stephen: JUST A TOUCH? HAD 338 00:25:06,638 --> 00:25:12,477 ( CLEARS THROAT ) >> YOU ALWAYS PUT ME ON THE SPOT 339 00:25:12,544 --> 00:25:19,618 ♪ JESUS PROMISED ME A HOME OVER THERE 340 00:25:19,684 --> 00:25:27,759 ♪ NO MORE SICKNESS, SORROW, PA PAIN, OR CARE 341 00:25:27,826 --> 00:25:36,534 ♪ BECAUSE JESUS, HE PROMISED ME A HOME OVER THERE ♪ 342 00:25:36,601 --> 00:25:50,315 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I DON'T-- I 343 00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:53,018 DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE ELSE-- HOW MANY PEOPLE IN THE 344 00:25:53,084 --> 00:25:55,754 WORLD HAVE BEEN LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE SITTING THIS CLOSE TO YOU 345 00:25:55,820 --> 00:25:59,090 WHEN YOU SING, BUT I'VE HAD THE JOY A FEW TIMES, AND I GOTTA 346 00:25:59,157 --> 00:26:02,027 SAY, IT MAKES MY SKELETON RATTLE INSIDE MY BODY. 347 00:26:02,093 --> 00:26:04,462 >> THANK YOU. AND I LOVE SINGING WITH YOU, 348 00:26:04,529 --> 00:26:05,430 TOO. >> Stephen: I LIKE SINGING 349 00:26:05,497 --> 00:26:08,166 WITH YOU, TOO. WE'VE HAD SOME FUN. 350 00:26:08,233 --> 00:26:11,569 NOW, DID YOU EVER IMAGINE YOU'D BE DOING A SHOW ON A DAILY BASIS 351 00:26:11,636 --> 00:26:13,271 THAT ALLOWED YOU TO DO THINGS LIKE THIS. 352 00:26:13,338 --> 00:26:15,407 THIS IS TODAY'S SHOW. THIS IS YOU. 353 00:26:15,473 --> 00:26:18,710 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? >> THAT WAS SO FUN. 354 00:26:18,777 --> 00:26:22,480 THIS-- I GOT THE PERFECT EXCUSE FOR HALLOWEEN. 355 00:26:22,547 --> 00:26:28,053 I GOT TO BE WHOOPI GOLDBERG IN "SISTER ACT 2--" "SISTER ACT ONE 356 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:31,056 AND TWO." THAT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE 357 00:26:31,122 --> 00:26:36,728 MOVIES EVER, SO TO BE ABLE TO BE HER FOR HALLOWEEN AND SING THOSE 358 00:26:36,795 --> 00:26:40,598 SNGS, THAT'S WHAT I USED TO DREAM OF. 359 00:26:40,665 --> 00:26:44,069 TO HAVE MY OWN SHOW AND FLY IN THE AIR AND SING THOSE SONGS. 360 00:26:44,135 --> 00:26:47,772 HONEY, I HAD A MOMENT. IT'S MY FAVORITE HALLOWEEN YET, 361 00:26:47,839 --> 00:26:50,542 HANDS DOWN, HANDS DOWN. >> Stephen: I WANT TO ASK YOU 362 00:26:50,608 --> 00:26:51,910 ABOUT-- ( APPLAUSE ) 363 00:26:51,977 --> 00:26:57,248 COUPLE OF TIMES, TOO. YOU NEED VERY SPECIAL EQUIPMENT 364 00:26:57,315 --> 00:26:59,017 TO DO THAT. YOU NEED REALLY TRAINED PEOPLE 365 00:26:59,084 --> 00:27:00,885 TO DO THAT. HOW DID IT FEEL? 366 00:27:00,952 --> 00:27:04,622 I FIND THAT LITTLE HARNESS YOU HAVE TO GET INTO UNCOMFORTABLE. 367 00:27:04,689 --> 00:27:09,127 >> IT'S VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. I HAD SO MANY THINGS UNDER THAT 368 00:27:09,194 --> 00:27:10,328 COSTUME. THE HARNESS. 369 00:27:10,395 --> 00:27:13,164 >> Stephen: AND THE STEEL BRACKETS ON YOUR HIPS. 370 00:27:13,231 --> 00:27:15,467 >> WE REHEARSED THAT QUITE A BIT. 371 00:27:15,533 --> 00:27:17,235 >> Stephen: DID YOU GET NERVOUS UP THERE? 372 00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:22,807 >> AS LONG AS THEY DIDN'T KEEP ME UP THERE TOO LONG I WAS OKAY. 373 00:27:22,874 --> 00:27:25,744 >> Stephen: I HAD JULIE ANDREWS RIGHT THERE ONCE, AND 374 00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:29,114 SHE TOLD ME ABOUT PLAYING MARRY POPPIN'S AND THEY DROPPED HER. 375 00:27:29,180 --> 00:27:31,116 >> NO! >> Stephen: YES. 376 00:27:31,182 --> 00:27:34,819 JULIE ANDREWS SAID THAT JULIE ANDREWS SAID A BAD WORD. 377 00:27:34,886 --> 00:27:37,756 ( LAUGHTER ) >> I CAN'T IMAGINE. 378 00:27:37,822 --> 00:27:41,793 >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT STICK AROUND, 379 00:27:41,860 --> 00:27:44,062 EVERYBODY, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE JENNIFER HUDSON. 380 00:27:55,473 --> 00:27:58,076 ( APPLAUSE ) WE'RE HERE WITH THE HOST OF THE 381 00:27:58,143 --> 00:28:03,014 "THE JENNIFER HUDSON SHOW," THE LOVELY AND TALENTED JENNIFER 382 00:28:03,081 --> 00:28:07,619 HUDSON. NOW, YOU GREW UP IN THE CHURCH. 383 00:28:07,685 --> 00:28:10,188 >> YES. > Stephen: OBVIOUSLY, YOU 384 00:28:10,255 --> 00:28:12,557 HAVE DEEP GOSPEL ROOTS. I JUST FOUND OUT FOR ALL THE 385 00:28:12,624 --> 00:28:14,526 SINGING YOU DID-- AND HOW EARLY DID YOU START? 386 00:28:14,592 --> 00:28:19,898 >> WELL, MY FIRST SOLO WAS AT SEVEN, BUT I DID NOT START 387 00:28:19,964 --> 00:28:21,566 SINGING WITH MY EYES OPEN UNTIL I WAS 19. 388 00:28:21,633 --> 00:28:23,301 >> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO ASK YOU ABOUT. 389 00:28:23,368 --> 00:28:26,271 YOU DID NOT KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN UNTIL YOU WERE 19. 390 00:28:26,337 --> 00:28:27,272 WHY? AND WHAT WAS THAT LIKE? 391 00:28:27,338 --> 00:28:31,609 >> BECAUSE I HAD STAGE FRIGHT. I WOULD -- 392 00:28:31,676 --> 00:28:34,412 >> Stephen: YOU WOULD GO OUT WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED. 393 00:28:34,479 --> 00:28:36,414 >> YES. I COULDN'T LOOK AT PEOPLE. 394 00:28:36,481 --> 00:28:39,284 EVEN WHEN I'M ACTING, I LOOK AT THE FLOOR. 395 00:28:39,350 --> 00:28:42,287 THEN EVERYBODY ON THE PRODUCTION WOULD BE FEET VERSUS PEOPLE. 396 00:28:42,353 --> 00:28:44,923 UN, THAT'S A WHOLE AUDIENCE. SOMETIMES IT'S INTIMIDATING. 397 00:28:44,989 --> 00:28:48,393 GROWING UP IN CHURCH FIRST OF ALL,UN, YOU SING, YOU KNOW, FROM 398 00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:51,930 WITHIN AND FROM A CERTAIN PLACE. SO IT'S MORE INTERNAL. 399 00:28:51,996 --> 00:28:54,966 SO I WOULD SING WITH MY EYES CLOSED. 400 00:28:55,033 --> 00:28:57,969 WE WEREN'T ALLOWED TO PERFORM. I WAS LIKE, PERFORMING? 401 00:28:58,036 --> 00:29:00,138 WHAT HAPPENED TO JUST STANDING AND SINGING A SONG? 402 00:29:00,205 --> 00:29:04,876 SO WHEN I WAS 19, THAT'S WHEN I STARTED SINGING WITH MY EYES 403 00:29:04,943 --> 00:29:07,278 OPEN. ONE MINUTE, WHEN I CLOSED MY 404 00:29:07,345 --> 00:29:09,848 EYES, EVERYBODY THOUGHT SHE CAN'T SING. 405 00:29:09,914 --> 00:29:14,119 AND WHEN I FINISHED I LOOKED UP AND EVERYBODY WAS GIVING ME A 406 00:29:14,185 --> 00:29:16,721 STANDING OVATION, AND AFTER THAT, IT BROKE THAT FEAR. 407 00:29:16,788 --> 00:29:17,989 >> Stephen: WOW. ( APPLAUSE ) 408 00:29:18,056 --> 00:29:22,260 INTERESTING DISTINCTION-- YOU MADE AN INTERESTING DISTINCTION 409 00:29:22,327 --> 00:29:23,995 THERE BETWEEN SINGING AND PERFORMING. 410 00:29:24,062 --> 00:29:27,799 WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? >> WELL, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, WHEN 411 00:29:27,866 --> 00:29:30,335 YOU PERFORM, YOU ARE EXUDING ENERGY OUT. 412 00:29:30,401 --> 00:29:34,439 YOU'RE CONNECTING AND, YOU KNOW, WITH PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE. 413 00:29:34,506 --> 00:29:40,378 BUT THEN, SINGING, WELL, AT LEAST SINGING IN CHURCH FOR ME, 414 00:29:40,445 --> 00:29:42,147 IT'S MORE INTERNAL. >> Stephen: COULD YOU SING THE 415 00:29:42,213 --> 00:29:46,518 EXACT SAME SONG THAT SORT OF SOUNDED THE SAME TO A LAY MAN 416 00:29:46,584 --> 00:29:51,322 BUT YOU KNOW THAT ONE OF THOSE IS PERFORMING AND ONE OF THEM IS 417 00:29:51,389 --> 00:29:53,358 SINGING? YOU DON'T HAVE TO PHYSICALLY DO 418 00:29:53,424 --> 00:29:56,828 ANYTHING WELS YOUR BODY TO BE PERFORMING? 419 00:29:56,895 --> 00:29:58,363 IT'S SOME INTENTION YOU HAVE? >> YEAH. 420 00:29:58,429 --> 00:30:02,667 I GUESS IT'S A DIFFERENT WAY OF COMMUNICATING, YOU KNOW, VERSUS, 421 00:30:02,734 --> 00:30:06,938 LIKE, WHEN YOU ARE INTERNAL, YOU STAY WITHIN YOURSELF AND IT'S 422 00:30:07,005 --> 00:30:09,641 MORE INTIMATE AND COMES FROM A CERTAIN SPACE. 423 00:30:09,707 --> 00:30:13,645 WHEREAS YOU'RE ALLOWING PEOPLE IN WHEN YOU ARE PERFORMING. 424 00:30:13,711 --> 00:30:16,881 AND IT'S ALL ABOUT THE ENERGY. >> Stephen: DO YOU EVER GO 425 00:30:16,948 --> 00:30:19,551 BACK TO THAT INTERNAL FORM OF PERFORMANCE. 426 00:30:19,617 --> 00:30:25,056 >> Stephen: INTERNAL FORM OF SINGS AS OPPOSED TO PERFORMING? 427 00:30:25,123 --> 00:30:27,392 >> I DON'T CONSIDER MYSELF AS A PERFORMER. 428 00:30:27,458 --> 00:30:28,860 I'M A SINGER. >> Stephen: I SEE. 429 00:30:28,927 --> 00:30:32,030 YOU'RE A PRETTY GOOD PERFORMER, TOO, I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU. 430 00:30:32,096 --> 00:30:35,300 >> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: IT'S NOT ME SAYING 431 00:30:35,366 --> 00:30:36,334 IT. >> THANK YOU. 432 00:30:36,401 --> 00:30:38,970 >> Stephen: IT'S THESE PEOPLE SAYING IT, NOT ME. 433 00:30:39,037 --> 00:30:41,973 NOW, I UNDERSTAND THAT ONE OF THE TRADITIONS YOU HAVE ON YOUR 434 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,342 NEW SHOW IS YOU HAVE A NEW MUG EVERY DAY. 435 00:30:44,409 --> 00:30:45,910 >> YES. >> Stephen: WHY THAT? 436 00:30:45,977 --> 00:30:50,348 >> BECAUSE I MEAN-- OKAY, SO WHEN I GET UP IN THE MORNING, I 437 00:30:50,415 --> 00:30:54,452 ALWAYS HAVE JUST MY LITTLE SPIT OF COFFEE IN A LITTLE CUP, SO 438 00:30:54,519 --> 00:30:58,022 EACH ONE HAS A DIFFERENT SAYING. WHATEVER I FEEL I NEED-- LIKE, I 439 00:30:58,089 --> 00:31:01,159 NEED A CUP OF PEACE. I NEED A CUP OF LOVE, WHATEVER 440 00:31:01,226 --> 00:31:04,028 IT IS I NEED, AND I PICK THAT CUP. 441 00:31:04,095 --> 00:31:07,865 AND THAT'S WHAT I DRINK OUT OF. IT'S AN AFFIRMATION, 442 00:31:07,932 --> 00:31:11,402 INSPIRATION. SO I TRMED FOR EVERYONE, WHAT 443 00:31:11,469 --> 00:31:13,338 THAT INSPIRATION YOU NEED. >> Stephen: AT SOME POINT IN 444 00:31:13,404 --> 00:31:16,908 THE FUTURE, I WOULD BE SO HONORED-- TAKE THAT WITH YOU. 445 00:31:16,975 --> 00:31:19,944 ADD IT TO THE COLLECTION. ( APPLAUSE ). 446 00:31:20,011 --> 00:31:23,114 >> Stephen: JENNIFER, LOVER TO SEE YOU. 447 00:31:23,181 --> 00:31:27,218 >> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: "THE JENNIFER HUDSON 448 00:31:27,285 --> 00:31:28,686 SHOW" AIRS WEEKDAYS NATIONWIDE. JENNIFER HUDSON, EVERYBODY. 449 00:31:28,753 --> 00:31:30,488 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ACTRESS ZOSIA MAMET. 450 00:31:46,471 --> 00:31:50,608 ( APPLAUSE ) SLEEP LIGHTLY. 451 00:31:50,675 --> 00:31:53,044 WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. ( APPLAUSE ) 452 00:31:53,111 --> 00:31:59,050 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW MY NEXT GUEST FROM "GIRLS" AND 453 00:31:59,117 --> 00:32:01,085 "THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT." NOW SHE'S EDITED A COLLECTION OF 454 00:32:01,152 --> 00:32:03,154 ESSAYS CALLED "MY FIRST POPSICLE." 455 00:32:03,221 --> 00:32:08,660 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," ZOSIA MAMET. 456 00:32:08,726 --> 00:32:10,561 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE ). 457 00:32:10,628 --> 00:32:15,800 >> Stephen: HELLO. YOU ALL GOOD? 458 00:32:15,867 --> 00:32:22,106 >> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU 459 00:32:22,173 --> 00:32:23,641 AGAIN. >> NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO! 460 00:32:23,708 --> 00:32:26,811 >> Stephen: LAST TIME, IF MEMORY SERVES, LAST TIME YOU 461 00:32:26,878 --> 00:32:30,515 WERE HERE YOU TOLD A CHARMING LITTLE STORY OF GOING OUT TO BUY 462 00:32:30,581 --> 00:32:33,117 YOUR WEDDING DRESS IMMEDIATELY AFTER BEING ON THE SHOW. 463 00:32:33,184 --> 00:32:35,820 >> I DID. >> Stephen: YES. 464 00:32:35,887 --> 00:32:38,890 AND ONE THING I NEVER ASKED YOU, AND I LOVE HEARING THESE 465 00:32:38,956 --> 00:32:42,360 STORIES, IS HOW DID YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND-- EVAN? 466 00:32:42,427 --> 00:32:44,562 >> EVAN I THINK THAT'S HIS NAME. >> Stephen: MEET. 467 00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:47,899 YOU NEVER KNOW. >> WE DID A PLAY TOGETHER. 468 00:32:47,965 --> 00:32:49,300 WE DID -- >> Stephen: NEAR THE CITY? 469 00:32:49,367 --> 00:32:51,235 >> WE DID A PLAY HERE IN THE CITY. 470 00:32:51,302 --> 00:32:55,406 WE DID A PLAY DOWN AT THE LUSSIER HOTEL. 471 00:32:55,473 --> 00:32:58,876 AND WE DID IT SECRETLY FOR THE WHOLE PLAY, WHICH WAS VERY FUN 472 00:32:58,943 --> 00:33:01,212 AND VERY ROMANTIC. YEAH, EXACTLY. 473 00:33:01,279 --> 00:33:04,148 >> Stephen: YOU STARTED DATING IN REHEARSALS THEN? 474 00:33:04,215 --> 00:33:07,051 >> YES. WE STARTED DATING IN HEREVERSAL. 475 00:33:07,118 --> 00:33:11,656 I HAVE ZERO GAME, LIKE, JUST-- JUST NONE TO SPEAK OF. 476 00:33:11,723 --> 00:33:16,627 AND I HAD-- I HAD, LIKE, 15 TICKETS TO I THINK IT WAS OUR 477 00:33:16,694 --> 00:33:20,465 SEASON TWO "GIRLS" PREMIERE, AND I INVITED OUR ENTIRE CAST JUST 478 00:33:20,531 --> 00:33:23,334 SO I COULD INVITE HIM. ( LAUGHTER ) 479 00:33:23,401 --> 00:33:28,940 WANT HIMED TO BE THERE. I WAS LIKE, EVERYONE COME!" 480 00:33:29,006 --> 00:33:31,509 HE CAME TO THE PARTY, AND MY HUSBAND, NOT LIKE ME, HAS ALL OF 481 00:33:31,576 --> 00:33:33,411 THE GAME. SO HE WAS VERY SLY, AND HE WAS 482 00:33:33,478 --> 00:33:37,081 THE FIRST ONE TO LEAVE. AND AS HE WAS LEAVING THE ONLY 483 00:33:37,148 --> 00:33:41,085 THING I COULD THINK OF, WE BOTH KNEW OUR LINES, BY THE WAY. 484 00:33:41,152 --> 00:33:43,087 WE KNEW THE OTHER ONE WAS OFF BOOK. 485 00:33:43,154 --> 00:33:46,424 I SAID, "DO YOU WANT TO COME OVER AND RUN LINES ONE NIGHT?" 486 00:33:46,491 --> 00:33:50,094 SO HE CAME SCPOFER WE RAN LINES. AND NOW WE'RE MARRIED! 487 00:33:50,161 --> 00:33:53,798 >> Stephen: WOW. ( APPLAUSE ) 488 00:33:53,865 --> 00:34:01,873 ( APPLAUSE ). INTO THE HOLIDAY SEASON HERE. 489 00:34:01,939 --> 00:34:04,242 >> WE ARE DEEP IN. >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, THE 490 00:34:04,308 --> 00:34:05,910 CHRISTMAS MUSH IS PLAYING. >> IT'S HWANG. 491 00:34:05,977 --> 00:34:10,348 >> Stephen: I LEARNED RECENTLY THAT YOU'RE A VERY CONSCIENTIOUS 492 00:34:10,415 --> 00:34:12,383 GIFT GIVER. YOU PUT A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO 493 00:34:12,450 --> 00:34:15,553 IT? >> THERE'S AN XCEL SPREADSHEET 494 00:34:15,620 --> 00:34:17,922 ABOUT IT. .>> Stephen: FOR REAL? 495 00:34:17,989 --> 00:34:20,691 >> FOR REAL. >> Stephen: THAT'S FANTASTIC. 496 00:34:20,758 --> 00:34:26,497 SO WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE SUCH-- I DON'T WANT TO SAY 497 00:34:26,564 --> 00:34:29,634 ADDICTED, BUT COMMITTED. >> NO, I GET A HIGH. 498 00:34:29,700 --> 00:34:33,104 AND ONCE THEY'VE OPENED THE GIFT IT'S ALL OVER AND THEN I GET SO 499 00:34:33,171 --> 00:34:34,872 SAD. LIKE, I WANT TO TAKE IT BACK AND 500 00:34:34,939 --> 00:34:37,341 GIVE IT TO THEM AGAIN. >> Stephen: YOU NEED ANOTHER 501 00:34:37,408 --> 00:34:39,610 HIT. >> I NEED ANOTHER HIT. 502 00:34:39,677 --> 00:34:42,513 "WHAT DO YOU HAVE? WHEN IS YOUR HALF BIRTHDAY? 503 00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:46,684 CAN WE TALK ABOUT EASTER?" >> Stephen: IS HALF BIRTHDAY A 504 00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:50,621 DISWHRIENG NO, BUT I WANT TO MAKE IT A THING SO I CAN GET 505 00:34:50,688 --> 00:34:52,990 THEM A PRESENT. YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR FIX 506 00:34:53,057 --> 00:34:54,792 SOMEHOW. HERE'S THE REAL ISSUE-- MY 507 00:34:54,859 --> 00:34:58,629 HUSHUSBANDS THAT HAS WON CHRISTS FOREVER, EIGHT YEARS AGO THIS 508 00:34:58,696 --> 00:35:01,165 CHRISTMAS, HE GAVE US OUR DOG, AND IT WAS A SURPRISE. 509 00:35:01,232 --> 00:35:05,236 >> Stephen: IS THAT WHO THIS IS? 510 00:35:05,303 --> 00:35:07,104 >> THAT'S MOOSE. >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO. 511 00:35:07,171 --> 00:35:11,175 >> THAT'S SWEET MOOSE. I KNOW, SHE'S THE BEST. 512 00:35:11,242 --> 00:35:13,010 >> Stephen: ARE YOU A BIG ANIMAL PERSON? 513 00:35:13,077 --> 00:35:15,713 >> I'M A HUGER ANIMAL PERSON? >> Stephen: ALWAYS. 514 00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:19,050 >> ALWAYS. WE GREW UP WITH LIZARDS AND 515 00:35:19,116 --> 00:35:25,590 SALAMANDERS AND TORTOISES, AND WE HAD CHICKENS GROWTH UP, IT 516 00:35:25,656 --> 00:35:27,758 WAS NOT ALLOWED IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD. 517 00:35:27,825 --> 00:35:28,993 >> Stephen: DID YOU HAVE A ROOSTER? 518 00:35:29,060 --> 00:35:31,662 >> WE DIDN'T HAVE A ROOSTER BUT OUR NEIGHBORS LIKED TO PRETEND 519 00:35:31,729 --> 00:35:36,200 WE DID, THEY WOULD CALL THE COPS ON US, AND MY MOTHER WOULD 520 00:35:36,267 --> 00:35:40,404 ANSWER THE DOOR WITH FRESH EGGS AND BE LIKE, "HELLO, OFFICER, IS 521 00:35:40,471 --> 00:35:44,275 THERE A PROBLEM?" SHE'D BE LIKE, "WOULD YOU LIKE-- 522 00:35:44,342 --> 00:35:48,112 WOULD YOU LIKE A FRESHLY BAKED MUFFIN WITH FRESHLY LAID EGGS? 523 00:35:48,179 --> 00:35:51,182 AND THEY'D BE LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK." 524 00:35:51,249 --> 00:35:59,757 >> Stephen: DID YOU GROW UP IN MMAYBERRY? 525 00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:03,961 >> I GRU UP IN SANTA MONICA. >> Stephen: YOU HAD CHICKENS 526 00:36:04,028 --> 00:36:07,498 IN SANTA MONICA? I WOULD CALL THE COPS ON YOU. 527 00:36:07,565 --> 00:36:11,602 >> EVERYONE IS JUSTIFIED. SEARCH WRONG IN THIS SCENARIO. 528 00:36:11,669 --> 00:36:13,671 >> Stephen: YOUR FIRST BOOK COMES OUT. 529 00:36:13,738 --> 00:36:18,476 IT'S AN ANTHOLOGY OF ESSAYS CALLED "MY FIRST POPSICLES." 530 00:36:18,543 --> 00:36:21,779 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? >> IT MEANS WHATEVER YOU WANT IT 531 00:36:21,846 --> 00:36:23,180 TO MEAN. >> Stephen: WHAT'S IT ABOUT? 532 00:36:23,247 --> 00:36:28,419 >> SO THE IDEA WAS FIRST BORN-- WE HAD GONE TO DINNER WITH SOME 533 00:36:28,486 --> 00:36:33,324 FRIENDS OF OURS AND THEY SHOWED UP LATE AND SAID, "WE'RE SO 534 00:36:33,391 --> 00:36:36,594 SORRY, WE GAVE OUR SON A POPSICLE FOR THE FIRST TIME AND 535 00:36:36,661 --> 00:36:40,364 HE HAD AN INCREDIBLE REACTION TO IT AND WOO STAYED." 536 00:36:40,431 --> 00:36:43,301 THIS LITTLE BOY-- WHO IS NO LONGER A LITTLE BOY. 537 00:36:43,367 --> 00:36:47,238 I FEEL OLD. HAD THIS-- IT WAS LIKE A NETFLIX 538 00:36:47,305 --> 00:36:49,106 SPECIAL OF EMOTIONS, ALL OF THE BIG ONES. 539 00:36:49,173 --> 00:36:52,843 HE WAS SCARED OF IT, AND THEN HE WAS EXCITED, AND THEN HE GOT A 540 00:36:52,910 --> 00:36:57,548 BRAIN FREEZE, AND HE WAS LIKE THIS IS THE BEST THING EAVE EVER 541 00:36:57,615 --> 00:37:03,321 HELP AND I WAS SO STRUCK BY HOW UNIVERSAL IT IS THAT WE VALUE 542 00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:05,489 THESE DEEPLY EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES WITH FOOD. 543 00:37:05,556 --> 00:37:10,394 AND THEY'RE TIED TO FAMILY OOR, YOU KNOW, OTHER RELATIONSHIPS, 544 00:37:10,461 --> 00:37:13,497 ROMANNED OF MANTICALLY, FRIENDSHIPS TRADITION-- ALL OF 545 00:37:13,564 --> 00:37:15,866 IT. AND SO I TOLD MY BOOK EDITORS. 546 00:37:15,933 --> 00:37:18,002 AND THEY WERE LIKE, "THAT'S A REALLY COOL IDEA. 547 00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:23,174 IT'S PROBABLY BEEN DONE BEFORE." AND THEN THEY FOUND OUT THAT IT 548 00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:24,508 WASN'T. SO -- 549 00:37:24,575 --> 00:37:26,444 >> Stephen: WHAT'S YOURS? WHAT'S YOUR DEEP EMOTIONAL 550 00:37:26,510 --> 00:37:29,146 CONNECTION TO A FOOD? WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE IN HERE? 551 00:37:29,213 --> 00:37:34,819 >> MY ESSAY IS ABOUT MY LOVE OF CHRISTMAS AND GIFT GIVING COMES 552 00:37:34,885 --> 00:37:36,821 FROM MY GRANDMOTHER. SHE WAS OBSESSED WITH CHRISTMAS. 553 00:37:36,887 --> 00:37:41,492 AND SHE HAD ALL THESE TRADITIONS SURROUNDING IT AND ONE OF THEM 554 00:37:41,559 --> 00:37:44,528 WAS SHE WOULD MAKE THIS CHRISTMAS DINNER DESSERT WHICH 555 00:37:44,595 --> 00:37:48,499 WAS A PLUMB PUDDING WITH THIS FOAMY SAUCE WHICH I'M NOT 556 00:37:48,566 --> 00:37:52,203 TOTALLY CLEAR-- IT WAS LIKE EGGS WHIPPED UP WITH SOME SORT OF 557 00:37:52,269 --> 00:37:55,506 CREAM AND I DON'T KNOW, IT GOT REALLY FOAMY. 558 00:37:55,573 --> 00:37:58,476 AND IT WAS DELICIOUS. >> Stephen: OF ALL THE 559 00:37:58,542 --> 00:38:02,613 PEOPLE-- PATTING SMITH IS IN HERE, TONY HALE,Y TED DANSON 560 00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:06,083 WROTE ESSAYS. WHO WERE YOU THE MOST NERVOUS TO 561 00:38:06,150 --> 00:38:08,586 ASK? >> I STARTED THIS UNEXPECTED PEN 562 00:38:08,653 --> 00:38:11,622 PAIL RELATIONSHIP WITH DAVID SEDARIS WHICH-- 563 00:38:11,689 --> 00:38:15,793 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I'M SO HAPPY FOR 564 00:38:15,860 --> 00:38:17,662 YOU. >> I'M SO HAPPY FOR ME. 565 00:38:17,728 --> 00:38:23,601 WHEN I GOT AN EFLAIL MY AGENT, I HAD DONE THIS PIECE FOR A 566 00:38:23,668 --> 00:38:27,538 MAGAZINE ABOUT-- LIKE A CULTURE DIARY, AND I HAD BEEN READING 567 00:38:27,605 --> 00:38:31,342 "BEST OF ME." AND THEY SAID, DAVID HEARD YOU 568 00:38:31,409 --> 00:38:34,512 WERE READING HIS BOOK AND HE'D LIKE TO WRITE YOU A LETTER. 569 00:38:34,578 --> 00:38:37,648 AND I SAID I'M DONE, I'M OUT. THIS IS PEAK. 570 00:38:37,715 --> 00:38:42,620 WE STARTED A PEN PAL RELATIONSHIP AND I WROTE AND 571 00:38:42,687 --> 00:38:47,291 ASKED IF HE WOULD DO A RECIPE. AND HE SAID, "IF I CAN WRITE 572 00:38:47,358 --> 00:38:51,662 ABOUT JELL-O AND HOT DOGS, YES." HE THEN ASKED IF I WANTED TO 573 00:38:51,729 --> 00:38:53,531 HAVE BREAKFAST WITH HIM. I WAS SHOOTING "THE FLIGHT 574 00:38:53,597 --> 00:38:56,400 ATTENDANT" IN LOS ANGELES, AND HE WAS COMING THROUGH ON A BOOK 575 00:38:56,467 --> 00:39:00,938 TOUR. AND I WAS SO NERVOUS, I WAS SO 576 00:39:01,005 --> 00:39:04,075 NERVOUS, I GOT THERE 40 MINUTES EARLY. 577 00:39:04,141 --> 00:39:05,443 >> Stephen: FOR BREAKFAST? ( LAUGHTER ) 578 00:39:05,509 --> 00:39:12,283 FOR BREAKFAST, AND THEN I HID IN THE BATHROOM. 579 00:39:12,349 --> 00:39:16,153 ( LAUGHTER ) AND I WAS LIKE, "I CAN'T DO IT. 580 00:39:16,220 --> 00:39:19,690 YOU HAVE TO CALL AND TELL HIM I'M SICK." 581 00:39:19,757 --> 00:39:22,026 I I WAS LIKE-- I WAS LIKE-- I CAN'T, I CAN'T. 582 00:39:22,093 --> 00:39:24,195 >> Stephen: SHE TALKED YOU OUT OF IT, THANK GOD. 583 00:39:24,261 --> 00:39:28,432 >> SHE TALKED ME OUT OF IT. SHE TOLD ME TO HAVE BREAKFAST 584 00:39:28,499 --> 00:39:32,770 WITH HIM, AND I DID, AND HIS HUSBAND, HUGH, CAME. 585 00:39:32,837 --> 00:39:38,442 AND YOU KNOW THEY SAY NEVER MEET YOUR HEROES AND HE WAS 586 00:39:38,509 --> 00:39:42,880 EVERYTHING AND THEN SOME. IT WAS SO GREAT 587 00:39:42,947 --> 00:39:44,014 >> Stephen: "MY FIRST POPSICLE" IS AVAILABLE TOMORROW! 588 00:39:44,081 --> 00:39:47,551 ZOSIA MAMET, EVERYBODY. ZOSIA, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 589 00:39:47,618 --> 00:39:48,452 BEING HERE. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 590 00:40:07,104 --> 00:40:08,205 >> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." 591 00:40:08,272 --> 00:40:12,042 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE MATTHEW PERRY, AND 592 00:40:12,109 --> 00:40:13,944 JAMES TAYLOR WILL TAKE THE "COLBERT QUESTIONERT." 593 00:40:14,011 --> 00:40:16,480 STICK AROUND FOR JAMES CORDEN. GOOD NIGHT.