1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:03,103 >> PROSECUTORS SAY THAT THE MEMBERS OF THE OATH KEEPERS 2 00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:09,943 RACKED UP A $400 TAB AT AN OLIVE GARDEN IN VIRGINIA IN 3 00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:12,379 CELEBRATION AFTER THE CAPITOL ATTACK. 4 00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:14,881 >> OATH KEEPER STEWART RHODES' LAWYER IS USING THIS AS A 5 00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:18,752 DEFENSE SAYING, "THE DINNER IS EVIDENCE THAT THE MILITIA LEADER 6 00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:22,122 WASN'T WORKING TO FOMENT A REVOLUTION." 7 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:25,558 >> HAVE YOU JUST SPENT THE DAY SUBVERTING DEMOCRACY AND NOW YOU 8 00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:28,495 WANT TO KICK BACK WITH A LITTLE INSURRECTIANO? 9 00:00:28,561 --> 00:00:31,965 WELL, THEN COME ON IN TO THE OLIVE GARDEN AND VIOLENTLY 10 00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:34,601 OVERTHROW YOUR HUNGER. 11 00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:38,705 TRY OUR HEARTY QANON-TRES, LIKE SHRIMP-THE-ELECTION-WAS-A-SCAMPI 12 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:41,641 MILITIASTRONE COUP, AND HANG MIKE PENNE. 13 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,444 PLUS, WITH UNLIMITED BREADSTICKS, YOU'RE GOING TO 14 00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:47,714 WANT TO SHOUT, "STOP THE MEAL!" AND AS ALWAYS, KIDS WILL HAVE 15 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:49,983 FUN WITH OUR MAP OF THE CAPITOL PLACEMAT. 16 00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:51,584 SO VISIT THE OLIVE GARDEN TODAY. 17 00:00:51,651 --> 00:00:55,688 REMEMBER: WHEN YOU'RE HERE, YOU'VE GOT AN ALIBI. 18 00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:58,425 >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT." 19 00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:04,764 TONIGHT: 20 00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:11,938 PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES: SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN 21 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:16,943 AND SECRETARY ERNEST MONIZ FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND THE 22 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:18,545 LATE SHOW BAND. 23 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:24,584 AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK 24 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:27,353 CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT! 25 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:33,960 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 26 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:43,470 >> Stephen: THAT IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 27 00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:50,577 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: IT'S GOOD TO SEE 28 00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:51,110 YOU. 29 00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:51,811 HELLO. 30 00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,513 HELLO, LOVELIES. 31 00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:54,948 HELLO, YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. 32 00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:56,549 HAPPY WEDNESDAY. 33 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:57,317 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 34 00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:58,918 YOU'RE VERY KIND. 35 00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:02,589 WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO "THE LATE SHOW." 36 00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:04,257 I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. 37 00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:06,993 AND I WANT TO START TONIGHT-- ( APPLAUSE ) 38 00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,028 I WANT TO START TONIGHT'S SHOW WITH AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. 39 00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:12,098 AFTER MUCH SOUL SEARCHING, I HAVE DECIDED THAT I AM READY TO 40 00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:14,734 ACCEPT THE RESULTS OF MONDAY'S POWERBALL LOTTO DRAWING. 41 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,871 ( LAUGHTER ) I AM NOT THE WINNER, BECAUSE 42 00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:24,711 THEY STOLE IT FROM ME, AND I ACCEPT THAT. 43 00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:31,084 TONIGHT, OF COURSE, THEY HELD A DRAWING FOR $1.2 BILLION, AND 44 00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:34,254 I'M PRETTY SURE I WON THAT, BECAUSE I USED THE EXACT SAME 45 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,823 NUMBERS. 46 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:39,626 OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 47 00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:40,894 WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT THESE NUMBERS DON'T WIN TWO TIMES IN 48 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,061 A ROW? 49 00:02:42,128 --> 00:02:43,863 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: DOING THE SAME THING AND EXPECTING 50 00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:47,433 DIFFERENT RESULTS IS THE DEFINITION OF GENIUS. 51 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:54,274 ( LAUGHTER ) SPEAKING OF GAMBLING, THE 52 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:56,776 MIDTERMS ARE JUST SIX DAYS AWAY, SO YESTERDAY, PRESIDENT BIDEN 53 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,646 RALLIED FOR DEMOCRATS IN FLORIDA.pBIDEN LOVES FLORIDA, BE 54 00:02:59,712 --> 00:03:03,950 IT'S THE ONLY PLACE HE'S CONSIDERED MIDDLE-AGED. 55 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:04,918 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 56 00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:09,255 OF COURSE-- THERE YOU GO. 57 00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,057 THERE YOU GO. 58 00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:12,992 SEE YOU LATER. 59 00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,394 OF COURSE, A BIDEN APPEARANCE WOULDN'T BE COMPLETE WITHOUT A 60 00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:16,629 LITTLE MIX-UP. 61 00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:19,999 >> INFLATION IS A WORLDWIDE PROBLEM RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF 62 00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:22,569 A WAR IN IRAQ AND AN IMPACT ON OIL AND WHAT RUSSIA'S DOING. 63 00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:27,173 I MEAN, EXCUSE ME, THE WAR IN UKRAINE. 64 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,042 >> Stephen: "GAS PRICES ARE HIGH BECAUSE THE DARN RED COATS ARE 65 00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:31,110 COMING. 66 00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:33,413 THAT HORSE TRIED TO WARN US, BUT WE DIDN'T LISTEN-- TOO BUSY 67 00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:35,848 FIGHTING THE VIET CONG WHO ARE TRYING TO TURN KUWAIT COMMUNIST 68 00:03:35,915 --> 00:03:37,984 WITH THE DEATH STAR THEY'RE BUILDING. 69 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:41,521 THAT'S NO MOON, JACK. 70 00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:43,723 NO, I I'M SERIOUS. 71 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,058 I MEAN, HOW ARE 300 SPARTANS SUPPOSED TO DEFEAT A WHOLE ARMY! 72 00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:50,263 C'MON, LEONIDAS! 73 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:54,400 NO, I'M SYRIAN, FOLKS!" SINCE HE WAS IN FLORIDA, IT 74 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:55,935 SEEMED LIKE A GOOD TIME TO ATTACK REPUBLICAN SENATOR AND 75 00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:59,639 DEHYDRATED MR. CLEAN, RICK SCOTT. 76 00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:01,274 ( LAUGHTER ) SCOTT'S PROPOSING TO SUBJECT 77 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:03,943 "NEARLY ALL FEDERAL SPENDING PROGRAMS TO A RENEWAL VOTE EVERY 78 00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:06,346 FIVE YEARS, MAKING MEDICARE AND SOCIAL SECURITY MORE VULNERABLE 79 00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:11,384 TO BUDGET CUTS." 80 00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:15,054 AND THERE IS ONE OLD MAN-- ( BOOING ) 81 00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:16,956 A LITTLE LET'S THAT. 82 00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,057 AND THERE IS ONE OLD MAN WHO'S NOT GOING TO TAKE THAT. 83 00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:20,927 >> A SENATOR FROM FLORIDA? 84 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:23,896 GOING AFTER MEDICARE AND SOCIAL SECURITY? 85 00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:26,065 I TELL YOU WHAT, I DON'T KNOW WHERE-- AS THEY SAY IN SOUTHERN 86 00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:27,500 DELAWARE, I DON'T KNOW WHERE Y'ALL BEEN. 87 00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:30,837 HOT DAMN, BOY. 88 00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:38,745 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: DID HE JUST SAY, "AS 89 00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:39,679 THEY SAY IN SOUTHERN DELAWARE"? 90 00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,481 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY IN SOUTHERN DELAWARE? 91 00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:44,317 "WE ARE ONE MILE SOUTH OF NORTHERN DELAWARE. 92 00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:46,052 ( LAUGHTER ) HOT DAMN, BOY." 93 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,353 IT'S NOT JUST BIDEN. 94 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:48,955 RIGHT NOW, BOTH SIDES ARE MAKING THEIR CLOSING ARGUMENTS TO THE 95 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:55,828 VOTERS. 96 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,130 THE G.O.P.'S ARGUMENT IS STOP VOTING. 97 00:04:57,196 --> 00:04:58,598 THEY'VE BEEN ENCOURAGING SO-CALLED "POLL WATCHERS" TO 98 00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:00,266 INTIMIDATE VOTERS AT DROP BOXES ACROSS THE COUNTRY. 99 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,802 HERE ARE TWO GUYS IN ARIZONA A FEW WEEKS BACK, STANDING NEAR A 100 00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:04,937 DROP BOX IN A PHOENIX SUBURB WEARING SKI MASKS AND BODY 101 00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:08,708 ARMOR. 102 00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:11,177 THAT OUTFIT IS ONLY APPROPRIATE FOR TWO THINGS: INTIMIDATING 103 00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:14,313 VOTERS, OR ASSASSINATING JAMES BOND IN THE ALPS. 104 00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:16,315 ( LAUGHTER ) NO SURPRISE, VOTERS FELT 105 00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:19,652 INTIMIDATED, SO THEY WENT TO COURT, AND YESTERDAY, A JUDGE 106 00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:23,389 ORDERED ARMED ELECTION MONITORS TO STAY 250 FEET AWAY FROM DROP 107 00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:25,058 BOXES. 108 00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:28,327 I THINK IT'S FAIR TO SAY DEMOCRACY IS IN DANGER WHEN 109 00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:31,631 BALLOT BOXES TAKE OUT A RESTRAINING ORDER. 110 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:33,566 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 111 00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:36,436 OF COURSE A LOT OF-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 112 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,071 BALLOT BOXES! 113 00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:40,139 BALLOT BOXES! 114 00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:43,109 OF COURSE, A LOT OF THESE KNUCKLEHEADS ARE MOTIVATED BY 115 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,846 ONLINE MISINFORMATION ABOUT VOTING, AND IT'S GETTING WORSE. 116 00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:50,583 ON TWITTER, LIES ABOUT VOTING MACHINES HAVE BEEN A TOP MIDTERM 117 00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:54,287 NARRATIVE, INCLUDING FALSELY CLAIMING THE VOTING MACHINES 118 00:05:54,353 --> 00:05:55,755 WERE CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET. 119 00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,056 AND WHERE'D THEY LEARN THAT? 120 00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:59,158 THE INTERNET. 121 00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:00,727 ( LAUGHTER ) BUT EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CAN'T 122 00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:02,095 TRUST THE INTERNET. 123 00:06:02,161 --> 00:06:04,997 I READ ALL ABOUT IT ON donttrusttheinternet.net 124 00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:08,568 CHECK IT OUT. 125 00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:09,802 OKAY. 126 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,671 AS IS TRADITION, THERE'S A LOT OF MISINFORMATION BEING PUT OUT 127 00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:15,041 BY FOREIGN ACCOUNTS, LIKE ONE BASED IN CHINA, WHICH TWEETED 128 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:18,811 A PHOTO OF SOMEONE HOLDING PAPER NEAR A PURPORTED DROP BOX, 129 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:21,347 CLAIMING THEY WERE "PAID BY THE D.N.C." 130 00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:22,148 THIS ACCOUNT HAD 26,000 FOLLOWERS. 131 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,051 ITS NAME? 132 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:26,819 "ULTRA MAGA BELLA HOT BABE." 133 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:31,924 OF COURSE IT HAD SO MANY FOLLOWERS! 134 00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:33,493 EXPIADLIDOCIOUS" ) ♪ STUPID PROPA-GANDA ULTRA MAGA 135 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:34,994 BELLA HOT BABE ♪ FOLLOWED BY THE INCELS 136 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,596 MASTURBATING IN THEIR MAN-CAVE 137 00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:38,931 ♪ IF YOU SAY IT LOUD ENOUGH, YOUR LOVED ONES 138 00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:40,933 SAY, "HEY, STOP, BABE." 139 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,468 ♪ STUPID PROPA-GANDA ULTRA MAGA BELLA HOT BABE! 140 00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:44,003 ♪ DUMB LITTLE IDIOTS, DUMB LITTLE LIE! 141 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:47,840 ♪ DUMB LITTLE IDIOTS, DUMB LITTLE LIE! ♪ 142 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,909 THANK YOU VERY MUCH! 143 00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:06,993 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THE BODY ARMOR BROS BY THE 144 00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:11,697 BALLOT BOX AREN'T THE ONLY MAGA GUYS PLAYING DRESS-UP. 145 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,900 THERE'S ALSO A GROUP WHO CALL THEMSELVES OATH KEEPERSES WHO 146 00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:17,904 ARE CURRENTLY ON TRIAL FOR THEIR ROLE IN JANUARY 6. 147 00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:19,005 THEY'RE LED BY INSURRECTIONIST STEWART RHODES, SEEN... 148 00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:20,106 WAIT, WHERE IS HE? 149 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:25,912 ALL I SEE ARE TREES, BUSHES, AND TWO FLOATING EYEBALLS. 150 00:07:25,978 --> 00:07:30,449 RHODES AND FOUR OF HIS FOLLOWERS ARE FACING CHARGES OF SEDITIOUS 151 00:07:30,516 --> 00:07:31,684 CONSPIRACY FOR PLANNING TO USE VIOLENCE TO KEEP THE 152 00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:33,186 EX-PRESIDENT IN OFFICE. 153 00:07:33,252 --> 00:07:36,122 FUN FACT: THEY'RE BEING TRIED AT THE PRETTY MAN FEDERAL 154 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,990 COURTHOUSE. 155 00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:40,626 IF THEY APPEAL, IT GOES TO THE HANDSOME BOY CIRCUIT COURT, AND 156 00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:44,597 THEN POSSIBLY ALL THE WAY TO THE SUPREME CUTIE PATOOTIES. 157 00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:47,834 ( LAUGHTER ) JANUARY 6 WASN'T JUST ABOUT 158 00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:50,336 SMASHIN' GLASS AND HANGIN' PENCE. 159 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:53,773 IT WAS ALSO ABOUT APPS FOR THE TABLE, BECAUSE PROSECUTORS SAY 160 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,908 THAT AFTER THE U.S. CAPITOL ATTACK, MEMBERS OF THE OATH 161 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:59,946 KEEPERS MET FOR A LATE-NIGHT DINNER AT AN OLIVE GARDEN. 162 00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:02,882 EXPLAINS THEIR NEW SLOGAN: "WHEN YOU'RE HERE, YOUR 163 00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:05,618 FAMILY DIDN'T HUG YOU ENOUGH AS A CHILD." 164 00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:13,426 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 165 00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:18,531 ♪ ♪ ♪ WE DON'T KNOW ALL THE SPECIFICS 166 00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:22,835 OF THE DINNER, AS PROSECUTORS DID NOT DIVULGE THE DETAILS OF 167 00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:24,136 WHAT THE OATH KEEPERS ATE. 168 00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:25,338 OF COURSE THEY DIDN'T. 169 00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:28,908 THAT'S OLIVE GARDEN'S OTHER SLOGAN: "WE CANNOT IDENTIFY WHAT 170 00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:31,410 YOU ATE." 171 00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:38,951 ( LAUGHTER ) PRETTY SURE THERE WAS CHEESE IN 172 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:39,752 THERE, THOUGH. 173 00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:41,921 PRETTY SURE-- HOPE THAT WAS CHEESE. 174 00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:46,659 WHAT WE DO KNOW IS THAT THE GROUP SPENT $408.82. 175 00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:48,928 HOLY MINESTRONE! 176 00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:50,396 OVER $400 OF OLIVE GARDEN FOOD? 177 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:51,430 THAT'S NOT A RESTAURANT TAB. 178 00:08:51,497 --> 00:08:54,433 THAT'S THE RESULTS OF AN AUTOPSY. 179 00:08:54,500 --> 00:09:02,174 ( AS CORONER ) "ALL RIGHT, I'M CALLING IT: 180 00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:03,042 9:45, JANUARY 6. 181 00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:06,245 CAUSE OF DEATH: PASTA THAT NEVER ENDED." 182 00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:07,880 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 183 00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:14,053 BUT-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 184 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,290 BUT THE OATH KEEPERS DIDN'T EVEN GET TO ENJOY THE TIRAMISU. 185 00:09:17,356 --> 00:09:19,725 THEY STARTED TO REALIZE THAT LAW ENFORCEMENT WAS SEARCHING 186 00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:25,464 FOR THEM, SO THEY FLED THE OLIVE GARDEN. 187 00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:28,567 THEY FLED? 188 00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:30,102 THAT CAN'T BE EASY TO FLEE AFTER DROPPIN' $400 AT THE OLIVE 189 00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:31,037 GARDEN. 190 00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:37,743 "THE FEDS ARE COMIN'! 191 00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:41,314 LET'S GO....UNGH... I'LL MEET YOU GUYS. 192 00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:43,516 I'LL CATCH UP. 193 00:09:43,582 --> 00:09:45,117 I'M GONNA HIT THE JOHN. 194 00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:46,352 I'LL BE RIGHT THERE." 195 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:54,760 ( APPLAUSE ) THE QUESTION IS, DIJUST STICK IT 196 00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:58,564 OUT, OR AM I ALWAYS HOLDING IT IN? 197 00:09:58,631 --> 00:09:59,231 ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) 198 00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:00,099 I DON'T EVEN KNOW. 199 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:03,436 AT THIS POINT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW. 200 00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:07,139 THE OATH KEEPERS' LAWYER HAD AN INTERESTING SPIN ON THEIR FAMILY 201 00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:09,141 DINNER, WRITING, "RHODES AND THE OTHERS LEFT THE CAPITOL GROUNDS 202 00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:13,179 AND WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN FOR DINNER, BECAUSE OVERTHROWING THE 203 00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:16,248 GOVERNMENT WAS NOT THE OATH KEEPERS' INTENT." 204 00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:19,485 SO HIS ARGUMENT IS "GUILTY PEOPLE DON'T EAT DINNER AFTER 205 00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:22,455 THE CRIME?" I KNOW ONE GUY WHO HASN'T 206 00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:25,057 WATCHED "DAHMER." 207 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:28,527 ( LAUGHTER ) SPEAKING-- YEAH, I KNOW! 208 00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:29,829 I AGREE! 209 00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:32,665 I AGREE! 210 00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:34,633 TERRIBLE! 211 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:39,605 SPEAKING OF THOSE RESPONSIBLE FOR JANUARY 6: FOX NEWS. 212 00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:43,776 YESTERDAY, THE FOX HOTS OVER AT "OUTPOUNDED" WERE ALL WHIPPED 213 00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:46,512 INTO A FROTH OVER A NEW STUDY WHICH FOUND THAT IN A SAMPLE OF 214 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,881 COLLEGE STAFF AND STUDENTS, PETTING A CAT REDUCES THEIR 215 00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,182 NEGATIVE MOOD. 216 00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:52,752 IN HUMANS. 217 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,687 I SHOULD SAY. 218 00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:56,789 THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN REDUCE YOUR CAT'S NEGATIVE MOOD. 219 00:10:56,856 --> 00:10:59,258 FOX NEWS SAW THIS SIMPLE, FEEL-GOOD STUDY AND REACHED THE 220 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:02,928 OBVIOUS CONCLUSION: OUR CHILDREN ARE WEAK, AND WE MUST NOT SPARE 221 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:04,030 THE ROD. 222 00:11:04,096 --> 00:11:06,732 >> THIS IS JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF HOW WE ARE RAISING 223 00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:08,968 SNOWFLAKES, BECAUSE, I MEAN, IF YOU HONESTLY CAN'T MAKE IT IN 224 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:11,937 COLLEGE, THEN JUST DROP OUT. 225 00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:14,874 I THINK THEY NEED DISCIPLINE. 226 00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:16,042 I THINK THEY NEED A SLAP IN THE FACE. 227 00:11:16,108 --> 00:11:19,945 >> Stephen: I AGREE. 228 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,715 A SLAP IN THE FACE IS MORE ENJOYABLE THAN "CATS." 229 00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:31,957 ( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ 230 00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:33,993 THEY CONTINUED THE CRAZY: >> IT IS ALSO PART OF THE 231 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,961 INDOCTRINATION. 232 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,163 I MEAN, THEY ARE BEING TRAINED. 233 00:11:37,229 --> 00:11:38,130 YOU MIGHT GO IN THERE THINKING, "I HAVE TO GET MY PHILOSOPHY 234 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:38,898 BOOK. 235 00:11:38,964 --> 00:11:41,300 I'VE GOT TO GET MY CHEMISTRY BOOK." 236 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,869 AND THEN YOU'RE TOLD, EFFECTIVELY, BY THE UNIVERSITY, 237 00:11:43,936 --> 00:11:45,538 "NO, YOU NEED A PUPPY." 238 00:11:45,604 --> 00:11:48,407 >> Stephen: MAYBE BEFORE THEY GET ANY BOOKS THEY SHOULD GET 239 00:11:48,474 --> 00:11:52,445 SOME GLASSES, BECAUSE THAT STUDENT JUST WALKED INTO A PET 240 00:11:52,511 --> 00:11:53,612 STORE. 241 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,514 KAYLEIGH McENANY TALKED ABOUT HER OWN COLLEGE EXPERIENCE. 242 00:11:55,581 --> 00:11:59,418 >> I DON'T NEED TO BE CODDLING A PUPPY. 243 00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:02,988 I NEED MY ORGANIC CHEMISTRY BOOK IF I'M IN PRE-MED HERE. 244 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,323 THIS IS INSANITY. 245 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:07,726 GIVE ME A CUP OF COFFEE, A COOKIE, AND A STACK OF BOOKS, 246 00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:08,694 AND I'M SET. 247 00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:10,930 >> Stephen: WAIT A MINUTE. 248 00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:12,932 YOU NEEDED A "COMFORT" COOKIE? 249 00:12:12,998 --> 00:12:16,936 OH, I BET YOU STUDIED INSIDE SOME SORT OF "SAFE" BUILDING 250 00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:18,003 THAT WAS UP TO CODE. 251 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:21,941 I SPENT MY COLLEGE YEARS OUTSIDE, NAKED, SHOUTING MY 252 00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:26,512 ESSAYS RIGHT UP MY PROFESSOR'S DRAIN PIPE. 253 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:30,449 ST.ANCE LEM'S OF CANTERBURY STATES HIS ARGUMENT FOR 254 00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:32,818 EXISTENCE OF GOD!" ULTIMATELY, THE FOX HOSTS 255 00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:34,253 COMPLAINED THAT GETTING TO PET A DOG OR CAT IN COLLEGE IS JUST 256 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,754 NOT REALISTIC. 257 00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:37,890 >> NO ONE'S GONNA HAND YOU A PUPPY IN THE REAL WORLD. 258 00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:43,829 >> Stephen: I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT SHE'S RIGHT. 259 00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:48,734 THEY'RE GONNA HAND YOU TWO PUPPIES! 260 00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:49,969 HELLO! 261 00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:52,805 HELLO! 262 00:12:54,039 --> 00:13:05,518 ( APPLAUSE ) BO-DO-BOP. 263 00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:07,920 DO-DO-DO. 264 00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:08,687 WHO MAKES FOX NEWS ANGRY?& YOU DO! 265 00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:10,156 YES, YOU DO! 266 00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:12,992 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT! 267 00:13:13,058 --> 00:13:18,931 MY GUESTS ARE SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN AND FORMER SECRETARY OF 268 00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:20,199 ENERGY, ERNEST MONIZ. 269 00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:21,100 BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, ELECTION NIGHT IS IN SIX DAYS AND, SADLY, 270 00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,169 YOU WILL BELIEVE WHO'S RUNNING. 271 00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:06,912 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK, 272 00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:11,917 GIVE IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO. 273 00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:14,987 ( APPLAUSE ) YEAH. 274 00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:16,922 VERY NICE. 275 00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:18,857 VERY NICE. 276 00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:22,261 LOUIS, TONIGHT-- >> Louis: TONIGHT! 277 00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:25,431 >> Stephen: TONIGHT, WE'VE GOT SOME FANTASTIC GUESTS COMING UP 278 00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:26,332 HERE IN JUST A MINUTE. 279 00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:27,499 >> Louis: THAT'S RIGHT. 280 00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:30,936 >> Stephen: WE'VE GOT THE ONE, THE ONLY, SENATOR ELIZABETH 281 00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:32,671 WARREN WILL BE OUT HERE IN JUST A MOMENT. 282 00:14:32,738 --> 00:14:34,406 SHE'S GOT A HEAD OF STEAM. 283 00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:36,408 THAT WOMAN'S GOT A HEAD OF STEAM. 284 00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:39,712 AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR HER TO BLOW IT. 285 00:14:39,778 --> 00:14:43,315 WE ALSO HAVE COMING UP, FORMER SECRETARY OF ENERGY, ERNEST 286 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,383 MONIZ. 287 00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:46,485 WHY HAVING ERNEST MONIZ ON? 288 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,922 YOU KNOW HOW THEY'RE LIKE, "PUTIN MIGHT USE TACTICAL 289 00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:50,756 NUCLEAR WEAPONS. 290 00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:51,890 BUT DON'T WORRY. 291 00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:54,760 IT'S JUST TACTICAL." 292 00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:58,430 I'M GOING TO HAVE HIM ON AND ASK WHAT THAT MEANS. 293 00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:02,167 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN "TACTICAL NUKE?" 294 00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,068 IS THAT BAD? 295 00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:07,139 I'M GOING TO BET THE ANSWER IS YOU BETCHA. 296 00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:10,342 FOLKS, THE MIDTERMS ARE NEXT TUESDAY, AS I TOLD YOU 297 00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:11,543 IN THE MONOLOGUE. 298 00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:15,781 AND I HOPE I DIDN'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THEY WERE NEXT TUESDAY. 299 00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:16,682 PLEASE GO VOTE. 300 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,183 AND HERE'S THE THING-- ( APPLAUSE ) 301 00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:26,425 #-R HERE'S THE THING: IN THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS, 302 00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:27,926 SOME OF OUR FELLOW CITIZENS IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY HAVE 303 00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:29,028 GONE A LITTLE FUNNY IN THE HEAD. 304 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:30,062 Y'KNOW, CAMO, FACEMASK, BODY ARMOR, AUTOMATIC WEAPONS, 305 00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:34,466 ZIP TIES, HANGING AROUND BALLOT DROP BOXES. 306 00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:36,535 YOU KNOW, SO. 307 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:40,939 NOT SO MUCH "HA-HA" FUNNY AS HA-HA FUNNY. 308 00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:42,308 I WOULD SAY THE SOURCE OF THE FUNNY IS ALL THE LIES ABOUT THE 309 00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:43,842 2020 ELECTION THAT HAVE BEEN SPREAD BY THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW 310 00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:45,077 BETTER. 311 00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:46,578 SO NOW, SOME OF THOSE ELECTION DENIERS ARE RUNNING FOR THE JOB 312 00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:50,949 OF OVERSEEING AND CERTIFYING THEIR STATE'S ELECTORAL PROCESS: 313 00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,117 THE SECRETARIES OF STATE. 314 00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:55,954 THIS YEAR, 12 "REPUBLICANS WHO HAVE PUBLICLY QUESTIONED OR 315 00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,691 DISPUTED THE RESULTS OF THE 2020 ELECTION ARE RUNNING FOR 316 00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:02,961 SECRETARY OF STATE ACROSS THE COUNTRY AND "IF ELECTED, THEY 317 00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:06,065 COULD TRY TO SWAY ELECTION RESULTS IN 2024 AND BEYOND." 318 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:09,435 ( BOOING ) MEANING THE ELECTION DENIERS 319 00:16:09,501 --> 00:16:11,203 MIGHT BE RUNNING THE NEXT ELECTION! 320 00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:12,671 THAT DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT. 321 00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:15,674 IT'S LIKE SAYING, "WE NEED A BABYSITTER. 322 00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:18,344 HOW ABOUT CASSANDRA, THE DARK DENIER OF CHILDREN? 323 00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:20,245 I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT SHE REALLY WANTS THE JOB. 324 00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:24,183 OR DON'T YOU ENJOY DATE NIGHT?" ( LAUGHTER ) 325 00:16:24,249 --> 00:16:26,585 ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS CANDIDATES IS IN ARIZONA, WHERE 326 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:29,321 THE G.O.P. NOMINEE FOR SECRETARY OF STATE, WHO'S BEEN LEADING IN 327 00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:32,224 THE POLLS, IS STATE REPRESENTATIVE WHOSE 11 SECRET 328 00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:36,462 HERBS AND SPICES ARE ALL IVERMECTIN, MARK FINCHEM. 329 00:16:36,528 --> 00:16:39,765 NOW REMEMBER, IN 2020, ARIZONA WAS ON THE EDGE OF BEING 330 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:43,969 STOLEN BY MAGA MANIACS PUSHING THE BIG LIE, AND THE ONLY THING 331 00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:46,338 STANDING IN THE WAY WAS THE SECRETARY OF STATE, WHO STUCK TO 332 00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:47,606 THE RULES. 333 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:51,043 NOW THAT JOB COULD BE TAKEN OVER BY A GUY WHO IS "CREDITED WITH 334 00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:54,146 STARTING THE STOP-THE-STEAL CAMPAIGN IN ARIZONA," AND "WAS 335 00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:57,149 PART OF THE MOB THAT RIOTED OUTSIDE THE CAPITOL ON 336 00:16:57,216 --> 00:16:58,851 JANUARY 6th." 337 00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:01,120 YOU DON'T GET TO ATTACK DEMOCRACY AND THEN ASK TO 338 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:03,355 RUN IT. 339 00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,691 THAT'S LIKE A BANK ROBBER GOING, "PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG! 340 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,860 AND ALSO A JOB APPLICATION! 341 00:17:07,926 --> 00:17:09,128 I CAN START MONDAY. 342 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:12,498 I WOULD SAY MY GREATEST WEAKNESS IS THAT I AM ROBBING THIS BANK." 343 00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:15,834 ( LAUGHTER ) THEN OVER IN NEVADA, YOU GOT 344 00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:17,836 FORMER STATE REPRESENTATIVE AND NEWS ANCHOR FROM THE FUTURE 345 00:17:17,903 --> 00:17:22,408 TELLING US ABOUT LIFE BEFORE THE EVENT, JIM MARCHANT. 346 00:17:22,474 --> 00:17:26,612 MARCHANT "FALSELY CLAIMS THE FORMER PRESIDENT DEFEATED 347 00:17:26,678 --> 00:17:29,915 JOE BIDEN IN NEVADA AND HAS SAID HE WOULDN'T HAVE CERTIFIED THE 348 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:32,684 RESULTS THERE IN 2020" AND HAS PUSHED THE "FALSE CLAIM THAT 349 00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:36,488 PELOSI, SCHUMER, AND SCHIFF WEREN'T LEGITIMATELY ELECTED." 350 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,024 OH, SO HE'S JUST DENYING EVERY ELECTION! 351 00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:40,526 "SCHUMER LOST! 352 00:17:40,592 --> 00:17:41,560 SCHIFF CHEATED! 353 00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:44,096 JUSTIN GUARINI BEAT KELLY CLARKSON! 354 00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:46,031 I WON THE J.D. POWER AND ASSOCIATES INITIAL CUSTOMER 355 00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:51,403 SATISFACTION FOR MIDSIZE FAMILY VAN. 356 00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:58,744 ( APPLAUSE ) BUT THE CREAM OF THE CRAZY CROP 357 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:02,414 IS MICHIGAN'S G.O.P. NOMINEE AND WOMAN WHO CAN'T WAIT FOR HER 358 00:18:02,481 --> 00:18:07,786 PARENTS TO MEET HER NEW BOY-FLAG, KRISTINA KARAMO. 359 00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:11,757 KARAMO LOOKED AT ALL THOSE OTHER DANGEROUS CRANKS AND SAID, "HOLD 360 00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:16,728 MY CHALICE OF ADRENOCHROME," BECAUSE "SHE SAID THAT THE 361 00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:19,131 FORMER PRESIDENT, NOT BIDEN, IS THE REAL WINNER OF MICHIGAN AND 362 00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:23,669 THE ELECTION," AND THINKS "DEMONIC POSSESSION IS REAL" AND 363 00:18:23,735 --> 00:18:25,637 ALSO SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED. 364 00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:29,041 >> HAVING INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE DEMONICALLY 365 00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:32,010 POSSESSED OR OPPRESSED, I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT A PERSON 366 00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:37,282 OPENS THEMSELVES UP TO POSSESSION. 367 00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:38,350 >> Stephen: THAT IS AN AWKWARD PHONE CALL: 368 00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:42,287 "HEY, BETH, IT'S RICK. 369 00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:45,691 LOOK, THIS IS EMBARRASSING, BUT I JUST FOUND OUT I'M DEMONICALLY 370 00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:48,093 POSSESSED, SO YOU MIGHT WANNA HIT THE CLINIC AND SEE IF YOU 371 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,796 TEST POSITIVE FOR ASMODEUS. 372 00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:55,133 KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR MODERATE TO SEVERE GOAT HOOF, OKAY? 373 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,936 I'M SORRY." 374 00:18:58,003 --> 00:19:05,477 ( APPLAUSE ) ALL THESE PEOPLE HAVE STRAIGHT 375 00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:12,117 UP SAID, "REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE VOTE COUNT IS, NEXT TIME, WE'RE 376 00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:13,652 DECLARING REPUBLICANS WON THE NEXT ELECTION, NO MATTER WHAT." 377 00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:14,753 AND I BELIEVE THEM. 378 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:15,787 BUT DON'T TAKE IT FROM ME. 379 00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:18,156 AS KARAMO HERSELF PUT IT AT A RECENT RALLY: 380 00:19:18,223 --> 00:19:21,760 >> HISTORY IS TLLING US, HISTORY IS SCREAMING TO US THAT 381 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:25,230 IF WE DON'T STEP UP AND FIGHT NOW, WE WILL LOSE THE GREATEST 382 00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:26,732 COUNTRY IN HUMAN HISTORY. 383 00:19:26,798 --> 00:19:29,568 >> Stephen: I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS, BUT WE SHOULD REALLY 384 00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:34,072 LISTEN TO THE LADY WHO BELIEVES IN PENIS DEMONS. 385 00:19:34,139 --> 00:19:35,507 GO VOTE. 386 00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:37,576 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN. 387 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,871 THANK YOU FOR JOINING US FOR YET ANOTHER ACT OF OUR WONDERFUL 388 00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,039 SHOW. 389 00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:11,944 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST THIS EVENING IS A U.S. 390 00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,478 SENATOR FROM THE GREAT STATE OF MASSACHUSETTS AND A FORMER 391 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:14,746 PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE. 392 00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:20,185 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN! 393 00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:20,953 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 394 00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:35,901 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 395 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:36,735 ♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 396 00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:37,469 >> Stephen: PLEASE, NICE TO SEE YOU. 397 00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:40,038 >> GOOD TO BE HERE! 398 00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:44,076 >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, YOU COME-- MADAM SENATOR, YOU COME 399 00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:45,811 HERE AT AN AUSPICIOUS TIME. 400 00:20:45,877 --> 00:20:46,712 >> YES. 401 00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:48,447 >> Stephen: IT IS LESS THAN A WEEK AWAY-- 402 00:20:48,513 --> 00:20:49,881 >> LESS THAN A WEEK. 403 00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:52,484 >> Stephen: ...FROM THE MIDTERM ELECTIONS. 404 00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:59,891 THERE'S A WEIRD DICHOTOMY OUT THERE THAT THERE IS-- I HAVE 405 00:20:59,958 --> 00:21:02,294 SEEN HEADLINES SAYING, LACK OF ENTHUSIASM. 406 00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:07,099 I HAVE SEEN OTHER HEADLINES SAYING AT THE SAME TIME, "THIS 407 00:21:07,165 --> 00:21:12,371 IS HISTORIC TURNOUT THAT HASN'T BEEN SEEN SINCE THE MID-70s." 408 00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,740 THIS IS A HISTORIC BUT STRANGEp. 409 00:21:14,806 --> 00:21:17,342 DO YOU HAVE A CLOSING ARGUMENT AS WE GO INTO THE LAST FEW DAYS? 410 00:21:17,409 --> 00:21:21,279 >> THIS IS ABOUT A HUGE CHOICE HI MEAN, GIANT DIFFERENCES. 411 00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:23,949 THERE ARE GOING TO BE FOUR THINGS ON THE BALLOT. 412 00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:31,323 WHOEVER'S NAME IS THERE, "ROE V WADE" IS GOING TO BE ON THE 413 00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:32,491 BALLOT. 414 00:21:32,557 --> 00:21:33,792 THE REPUBLICANS WANT TO BAN ACCESS TO ABORTION ALL ACROSS 415 00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:35,027 THE COUNTRY. 416 00:21:35,093 --> 00:21:37,529 THE DEMOCRATS THINK THE PATIENT AND THE DOCTOR SHOULD MAKE THE 417 00:21:37,596 --> 00:21:40,732 DECISION, AND NOT YOUR LOCAL ELECTED OFFICIALS. 418 00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:43,969 YES, PENNSYLVANIA, I'M LOOKING AT YOU. 419 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:44,670 JOHN FETTERMAN. 420 00:21:44,736 --> 00:21:46,872 >> Stephen: THAT'S ONE. 421 00:21:46,938 --> 00:21:48,340 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 422 00:21:48,407 --> 00:21:49,608 >> THAT'S ONE. 423 00:21:49,675 --> 00:21:51,376 >> Stephen: THAT'S ONE, HOLD ON. 424 00:21:51,443 --> 00:21:51,877 ONE. 425 00:21:51,943 --> 00:21:52,811 TWO. 426 00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:55,747 >> THE ECONOMY IS GOING TO BE ON THE BALLOT. 427 00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:57,816 NOW, THE REPUBLICANS -- >> Stephen: A LOT OF PEOPLE-- 428 00:21:57,883 --> 00:22:01,286 A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK THE REPUBLICANS HAVE AN ADVANTAGE ON 429 00:22:01,353 --> 00:22:02,654 THE ECONOMY BECAUSE OF INFLATION. 430 00:22:02,721 --> 00:22:03,422 >> WHOA! 431 00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:04,756 A LOT OF BILLIONAIRES THINK THAT. 432 00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:07,025 >> Stephen: A LOT OF BILLIONAIRES-- 433 00:22:07,092 --> 00:22:08,527 >> YES, I KNOW, YOU LIKE THAT. 434 00:22:08,593 --> 00:22:12,597 A LOT OF BILLIONARIES THINK THAT BECAUSE HERE'S THE DEAL, THE 435 00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:15,333 REPUBLICANS SAY THEIR BIG ECONOMIC PLAN IS TO CUT SOCIAL 436 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:20,405 SECURITY AND MEDICARE AND PUT PUT IN MORE TAX BREAKS FOR 437 00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:22,908 BILLIONAIRES AND BILLIONAIRE CORPORATION S. 438 00:22:22,974 --> 00:22:26,745 >> Stephen: CAN WE STOP ON THAT FOR A MOMENT, SOCIAL 439 00:22:26,812 --> 00:22:28,146 SECURITY AND MEDICARE. 440 00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:32,117 THAT HAS LONG BEEN CALLED THE THIRD RAIL OF AMERICAN POLITICS. 441 00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:33,752 WHY DO YOU THINK THEY'RE WILLING TO LICK IT? 442 00:22:33,819 --> 00:22:36,788 >> BECAUSE THEY HAVE VERY LONG TONGUES. 443 00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:39,758 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 444 00:22:39,825 --> 00:22:46,098 ♪ ♪ ♪ AND ON THAT ONE, ACTUALLY, KEEP 445 00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:47,799 IN MIND-- LET'S DO ANOTHER STATE. 446 00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:50,936 THE REPUBLICANS HAVE SAID THEY WANT TO VOTE EVERY FIVE YEARS ON 447 00:22:51,002 --> 00:22:54,806 WHETHER TO KEEP SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE. 448 00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:59,878 BUT IN WISCONSIN, RON JOHNSON SAYS HE WANTS TO VOTE EVERY 449 00:22:59,945 --> 00:23:00,679 SINGLE YEAR. 450 00:23:00,746 --> 00:23:04,750 SO, WISCONSIN, WE'RE LOOKING AT YOU. 451 00:23:04,816 --> 00:23:06,852 MANDELA BARNES IS YOUR GUY. 452 00:23:06,918 --> 00:23:07,552 GOTTA DO THIS. 453 00:23:07,619 --> 00:23:08,286 >> Stephen: OKAY. 454 00:23:08,353 --> 00:23:10,122 >> OKAY, THAT'S THE SECOND THING. 455 00:23:10,188 --> 00:23:14,059 AND DEMOCRATS, BY THE WAY, WANT THE ECONOMY TO WORK FOR 456 00:23:14,126 --> 00:23:15,193 EVERYBODY. 457 00:23:15,260 --> 00:23:15,894 LOWERING HEALTHCARE COSTS -- >> Stephen: WHAT IS THE PLAN 458 00:23:15,961 --> 00:23:17,362 ON INFLATION, THOUGH. 459 00:23:17,429 --> 00:23:21,066 >> SO, LOOK, IT'S GOING AFTER COSTS THAT FAMILY DIRECTLY FEEL. 460 00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:24,536 SO WHAT WE'RE DOING IS WE'RE LOWERING THE COST OF HEALTHCARE, 461 00:23:24,603 --> 00:23:27,706 PUTTING A CAP ON THE COST OF INSULIN. 462 00:23:27,773 --> 00:23:33,211 THE CLIMATE PLAN WILL REDUCE THE COST OF UTILITIES. 463 00:23:33,278 --> 00:23:34,980 SO WE'RE GOING DIRECTLY AFTER IT. 464 00:23:35,046 --> 00:23:39,651 LOOK, WE'VE GONE AFTER IT-- WE'VE CUT STUDENT LOAN DEBT FOR 465 00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:41,153 43 MILLION AMERICANS. 466 00:23:41,219 --> 00:23:42,888 ( APPLAUSE ) THAT'S WHERE FAMILIES LIVE. 467 00:23:42,954 --> 00:23:45,991 >> Stephen: DO YOU THINK THATW-? 468 00:23:46,057 --> 00:23:48,093 BECAUSE THERE HAS BEEN YET ANOTHER STAY BY A FEDERAL JUDGE 469 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:48,894 ON THAT. 470 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,328 DO YOU THINK THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN? 471 00:23:50,395 --> 00:23:54,499 >> SO, LOOK, IF THE JUDGES ACTUALLY READ THE LAW, YEAH, 472 00:23:54,566 --> 00:23:55,634 IT'S GOG HAPPEN. 473 00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:58,036 THERE'S NO DOUBT THAT THE PRESIDENT HAS THE AUTHORITY TO 474 00:23:58,103 --> 00:23:59,304 DO THIS. 475 00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:00,972 PRESIDENT OBAMA DID IT. 476 00:24:01,039 --> 00:24:03,708 PRESIDENT TRUMP DID IT, AND PRESIDENT BIDEN CAN DO THIS. 477 00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:07,646 BUT TAKE A DEEP BREATH ON THAT ONE, ON STUDENT LOANS, AND JUST 478 00:24:07,712 --> 00:24:10,682 THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES 479 00:24:10,749 --> 00:24:13,552 IS ON THE SIDE OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. 480 00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:18,990 20 MILLION AMERICANS WILL SEE ALL OF THEIR STUDENT LOAN DEBT 481 00:24:19,057 --> 00:24:20,125 CANCELED. 482 00:24:20,192 --> 00:24:22,928 HALF OF ALL LATINOS WILL SEE ALL OF THEIR DEBT WIPED OUT. 483 00:24:22,994 --> 00:24:25,497 NEARLY A THIRD OF ALL AFRICAN AMERICANS. 484 00:24:25,564 --> 00:24:27,432 THIS IS AN ECONOMIC JUSTICE ISSUE. 485 00:24:27,499 --> 00:24:29,401 THIS IS A RACIAL JUSTICE ISSUE. 486 00:24:29,467 --> 00:24:34,472 THIS IS THE FIRST BIG EFFORT OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT TO HELP 487 00:24:34,539 --> 00:24:37,242 CLOSE THE RACIAL WEALTH GAP IN AMERICA. 488 00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:38,043 ( APPLAUSE ). 489 00:24:38,109 --> 00:24:39,211 >> Stephen: OKAY, LET'S GO TO THREE. 490 00:24:39,277 --> 00:24:41,847 >> BY THE WAY, I SHOULD SAY ON THAT ONE, ANYONE WHO HASN'T 491 00:24:41,913 --> 00:24:46,985 SHOULD SIGN UP FOR STUDENT LOAN DEBT RELIEF. 492 00:24:47,052 --> 00:24:51,289 THAT'S STUDENTAID.GOV. 493 00:24:51,356 --> 00:24:52,224 OKAY, I WANT TO DO THAT. 494 00:24:52,290 --> 00:24:54,092 >> Stephen: WHAT'S THE THIRD THING HERE? 495 00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:56,494 >> THE THIRD THING IS CLIMATE. 496 00:24:56,561 --> 00:24:58,163 OUR PLANET IS ON THE BALLOT. 497 00:24:58,230 --> 00:25:01,800 THE REPUBLICANS WANT TO KEEP TAKING MONEY FROM BIG OIL. 498 00:25:01,867 --> 00:25:05,737 THEY WANT TO EMBRACE THE CLIMATE DENIERS. 499 00:25:05,804 --> 00:25:09,841 THE DEMOCRATS HAVE ALREADY MADE A BIG DOWN PAYMENT. 500 00:25:09,908 --> 00:25:17,849 WE HAVE ALREADY PASSED LAWS TO CUT CLIMATE EMISSIONS BY 40% BY 501 00:25:17,916 --> 00:25:19,017 2030. 502 00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:21,319 AND GVE US SOME MORE SENATORS AND WE'RE GOING TO MAKE MORE 503 00:25:21,386 --> 00:25:22,988 CUTS AND TRULY SAVE OUR PLANET. 504 00:25:23,054 --> 00:25:28,093 THIS IS WHY DEMOCRATS-- SO THAT'S NUMBER THREE. 505 00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:29,194 ( APPLAUSE ). 506 00:25:29,261 --> 00:25:33,732 >> Stehen: IS THAT-- IS THAT-- IS THAT CLIMATE CHANGE 507 00:25:33,798 --> 00:25:37,736 BILL, OR THE-- ADDRESSING CLIMATE CHANGE, OR GLOBAL 508 00:25:37,802 --> 00:25:43,108 WARMING BILL, IS THAT IN ANY WAY RELATED TO THE INCREASE IN FUEL 509 00:25:43,174 --> 00:25:43,375 PRICES? 510 00:25:43,441 --> 00:25:44,075 >> NO. 511 00:25:44,142 --> 00:25:46,111 IN FACT, IT GOES THE OTHER WAY. 512 00:25:46,177 --> 00:25:51,549 YES, IT IS RELATED IN THE SENSE THAT THE MORE WE MOVE TO CLEAN 513 00:25:51,616 --> 00:25:56,521 ENERGY, THE MORE WE MOVE TO RENEWABLE ENERGY, THE LESS 514 00:25:56,588 --> 00:26:01,526 DEPENDENT WE ARE ON NATIONS LIKE RUSSIA OR SAUDI ARABIA THAT 515 00:26:01,593 --> 00:26:05,664 DECIDE HOW HIGH AND HOW LOW OIL PRICES ARE GOING TO BE. 516 00:26:05,730 --> 00:26:10,201 SO ULTIMATELY, ONE OF THE EFFECTS OF THIS BICK CLIMATE 517 00:26:10,268 --> 00:26:14,506 INITIATIVE THAT THE DEMOCRATS HAVE PUT IN IS TO BRING DOWN THE 518 00:26:14,572 --> 00:26:17,108 COST OF ENERGY FOR PEOPLE ALL ACROSS THIS COUNTRY. 519 00:26:17,175 --> 00:26:20,178 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: OKAY, SO, FOUR-- 520 00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:21,680 >> THAT'S THREE. 521 00:26:21,746 --> 00:26:22,580 >> Stephen: THAT'S THREE. 522 00:26:22,647 --> 00:26:23,648 SO WHAT'S THE FOURTH ONE. 523 00:26:23,715 --> 00:26:26,985 >> FOUR: DEMOCRACY IS ON THE BALLOT. 524 00:26:27,052 --> 00:26:28,453 >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO. 525 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:29,821 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). 526 00:26:29,888 --> 00:26:33,124 >> Stephen: AND WHILE THE REST OF THESE ARE IMPORTANT, NONE OF 527 00:26:33,191 --> 00:26:34,960 IT MATTERS UNLESS YOU SAVE THAT ONE. 528 00:26:35,026 --> 00:26:35,660 p>> THAT'S RIGHT. 529 00:26:35,727 --> 00:26:37,595 AND WE'VE GOT TO SAVE DEMOCRACY. 530 00:26:37,662 --> 00:26:42,067 LET'S FACE IT, THE REPUBLICANS CONTINUE TO EMBRACE THE BIG LIE. 531 00:26:42,133 --> 00:26:46,037 THEY CONTINUE TO TRY TO EXCUSE AND MAKE UP FOR WHAT HAPPENED ON 532 00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:47,339 JANUARY 6. 533 00:26:47,405 --> 00:26:51,710 THE DEMOCRATS HAVE A VERY CLEAR MESSAGE: EVERY AMERICAN CITIZEN 534 00:26:51,776 --> 00:26:54,512 SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO VOTE AND TO GET THAT VOTE COUNTED. 535 00:26:54,579 --> 00:26:55,480 THAT'S THE DEAL. 536 00:26:55,547 --> 00:26:57,649 ( APPLAUSE ) THAT'S HOW DEMOCRACY WORKS. 537 00:26:57,716 --> 00:27:03,421 >> Stephen: 299, MORE THAN HALF, 299 OF REPUBLICANS ARE ON 538 00:27:03,488 --> 00:27:06,658 THE BALLOT THIS YEAR WHO HAVE QUESTIONED THE INTEGRITY OF OUR 539 00:27:06,725 --> 00:27:07,092 ELECTION. 540 00:27:07,158 --> 00:27:08,193 >> THAT'S RIGHT. 541 00:27:08,259 --> 00:27:09,761 >> Stephen: OR WHETHER THE PREVIOUS ELECTION SHOULD BE 542 00:27:09,828 --> 00:27:10,095 OVERTURNED. 543 00:27:10,161 --> 00:27:11,329 >> RIGHT. 544 00:27:11,396 --> 00:27:13,031 >> Stephen: THAT IS ONE OF THE MOST CHILLING STATISTICS I COULD 545 00:27:13,098 --> 00:27:13,698 POSSIBLY NAME. 546 00:27:13,765 --> 00:27:15,567 >> YES, IT IS. 547 00:27:15,633 --> 00:27:16,701 YES, IT IS. 548 00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:20,005 AND IT IS BECAUSE IT TRULY CORRODES THE FOUNDATION OF OUR 549 00:27:20,071 --> 00:27:20,772 DEMOCRACY. 550 00:27:20,839 --> 00:27:22,240 >> Stephen: CAN IT BE WALKED BACK? 551 00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:27,679 BECAUSE THAT IDEA, WITH ABSOLUTELY ZERO-- NOT AN IOTA, 552 00:27:27,746 --> 00:27:31,816 NOT A CORK OF EVIDENCE BEHIND IT-- HAS METASTASIZED SO WIDELY 553 00:27:31,883 --> 00:27:34,119 UNDER THE PRESSURE OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT TO GET LOYALTY TO THE 554 00:27:34,185 --> 00:27:37,589 PEOPLE WHO ARE RUNNING FOR OFFICE THAT IN EVERY STATE IN 555 00:27:37,655 --> 00:27:39,591 THE UNION, THERE'S SOMEBODY RUNNING WHO BELIEVES THAT. 556 00:27:39,657 --> 00:27:42,360 >> YES, IT CAN BE -- >> Stephen: OR SAYS THEY 557 00:27:42,427 --> 00:27:43,061 BELIEVE IT. 558 00:27:43,128 --> 00:27:44,529 >> AND THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE. 559 00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:47,932 BUT, YES, IT CAN BE WALKED BACK, AND HERE'S HOW WE WALK IT BACK. 560 00:27:47,999 --> 00:27:50,435 WE WALK IT BACK BY VOTING. 561 00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:53,605 IT AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS OVER THIS NEXT WEEK. 562 00:27:53,671 --> 00:28:03,882 ( APPLAUSE ) IWILLVOTE.COM. 563 00:28:03,948 --> 00:28:07,919 IF YOU'RE NOT CLEAR ABOUT WHERE YOU VOTE WHEN YOU CAN VOTE OR IF 564 00:28:07,986 --> 00:28:11,890 YOU WANT TO VOTE EARLY OR YOU WANT TO VOTE ON ELECTION DAY. 565 00:28:11,956 --> 00:28:16,261 AND BRING IN YOUR NEIG NEIGHBORD YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR COUSINS 566 00:28:16,327 --> 00:28:21,199 AND YOUR UNCLE BECAUSE DEMOCRACY REQUIRES US TO BE ENGAGED AND 567 00:28:21,266 --> 00:28:24,636 GET OUT THERE AND VOTE BECAUSE IF WE VOTE AND WE VOTE FOR 568 00:28:24,702 --> 00:28:29,240 PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY GET UP AND TELL THE TRUTH, PEOPLE WHO 569 00:28:29,307 --> 00:28:33,912 BELIEVE DEMOCRACY WORKS WHEN EVERY AMERICAN CITIZEN GETS THE 570 00:28:33,978 --> 00:28:36,181 RIGHT TO VOTE AND TO GET THAT VOTE COUNTED. 571 00:28:36,247 --> 00:28:39,584 IF WE DO THAT, THAT IS HOW ULTIMATELY WE BEAT BACK THE BIG 572 00:28:39,651 --> 00:28:43,521 LIE AND WE BEAT BACK THE BIG LIARS. 573 00:28:43,588 --> 00:28:44,489 THAT'S HOW WE MAKE IT WORK. 574 00:28:44,556 --> 00:28:49,127 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A 575 00:28:49,194 --> 00:28:50,261 QUICK BREAK. 576 00:28:50,328 --> 00:28:52,630 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN, 577 00:28:52,697 --> 00:28:53,031 EVERYBODY. 578 00:28:53,098 --> 00:28:54,966 STICK AROUND. 579 00:29:03,942 --> 00:29:05,543 >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK HERE WITH 580 00:29:05,610 --> 00:29:07,612 MASSACHUSETTS SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN. 581 00:29:07,679 --> 00:29:14,986 ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO YOU'VE HAD A FEW RUN-INS WITH THE PAST, YOU 582 00:29:15,053 --> 00:29:18,890 CALLED OUT FOR HIS BEHAVIOR IN THE PAST, IS SOMEONE WHO 583 00:29:18,957 --> 00:29:21,960 STRANGELY IS DAB LICK IN CONSPIRACY THEORIES ON TWITTER 584 00:29:22,026 --> 00:29:25,263 AND THAT IS THE NEW OWNER OF TWITTER, ELON MUSK. 585 00:29:25,330 --> 00:29:29,300 YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN A HUGE FAN OF BILLIONAIRES, ESPECIALLY ONES 586 00:29:29,367 --> 00:29:30,802 WHO DON'T PAY THEIR TAXES. 587 00:29:30,869 --> 00:29:36,674 WHAT ABOUT A BILLIONAIRE WHO NOW OWNS THE PLATFORM THAT IS MOST 588 00:29:36,741 --> 00:29:40,845 USED TO PROMULGATE THE POLITICAL IDEA AND ARGUMENT, TWITTER? 589 00:29:40,912 --> 00:29:41,446 >> YEAH. 590 00:29:41,513 --> 00:29:43,581 SO I LOOK AT IT THIS WAY. 591 00:29:43,648 --> 00:29:48,686 SOMEBODY IS GOING TO MAKE THE DECISIONS ABOUT WHAT WE SEE ON 592 00:29:48,753 --> 00:29:50,388 TWITTER, RIGHT? 593 00:29:50,455 --> 00:29:51,823 IT CAN BE MADE OUT IN THE OPEN. 594 00:29:51,890 --> 00:29:53,091 IT CAN BE MADE IN PUBLIC. 595 00:29:53,158 --> 00:29:55,026 IT COULD BE MADE BY A COMMISSION. 596 00:29:55,093 --> 00:29:56,327 WE COULD DECIDE TO DO THAT. 597 00:29:56,394 --> 00:30:00,665 WE CAN MAKE THE RULES POSTED AND THROUGHOUT FOR ANYBODY DO SEE. 598 00:30:00,732 --> 00:30:06,337 OR IT COULD BE MADE BY ONE BILLIONAIRE IN A VERY DARK ROOM 599 00:30:06,404 --> 00:30:09,174 BASED ON WHATEVER IS RUNNING AROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS 600 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:10,642 HEAD. 601 00:30:10,708 --> 00:30:13,711 ME, I THINK THOSE DECISION OUGHT TO BE MADE OUT IN THE OPEN. 602 00:30:13,778 --> 00:30:17,849 I DON'T THINK ANY BILLIONAIRE, ANY BILLIONAIRE OUGHT TO BE THE 603 00:30:17,916 --> 00:30:23,655 ONE WHO HAS THAT KIND OF POWERpW PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD GET A 604 00:30:23,721 --> 00:30:25,690 CHANCE TO TALK TO EACH OTHER. 605 00:30:25,757 --> 00:30:28,193 SO I'M-- I GOT A REAL PROBLEM WITH HIM 606 00:30:28,259 --> 00:30:35,300 ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: ARE YOU BLUE CHECK 607 00:30:35,366 --> 00:30:37,969 VERIFIED? 608 00:30:38,036 --> 00:30:39,270 >> I JUST DON'T CARE. 609 00:30:39,337 --> 00:30:41,639 ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO. 610 00:30:41,706 --> 00:30:43,041 ( APPLAUSE ) ALL RIGHT, BEFORE WE GO, I WANT 611 00:30:43,107 --> 00:30:46,411 TO ASK YOU ABOUT AN IMPORTANT DOCUMENT THAT WAS RECENTLY 612 00:30:46,477 --> 00:30:47,545 RELEASED. 613 00:30:47,612 --> 00:30:50,615 THIS PHOTO OF YOUR DOG BAILEY DRESSED UP FOR HALLOWEEN. 614 00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:51,783 >> YES. 615 00:30:51,849 --> 00:30:54,519 >> Stephen: CAN I-- CAN I GET AN OFFICIAL COMMENT ON THIS 616 00:30:54,586 --> 00:30:55,653 COSTUME? 617 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,723 BECAUSE I SEE-- JIMMIE, CAN YOU PUT IT BACK UP, PLEASE. 618 00:30:58,790 --> 00:31:07,498 I SEE ANTLERS AND BEARD AND WIG. 619 00:31:07,565 --> 00:31:11,102 IS HE SANT AS A REINDEER? 620 00:31:11,169 --> 00:31:13,938 OR IS HE THE UNHOLY LOVE CHILD OF KRIS KRINGLE AND DASHER? 621 00:31:14,005 --> 00:31:14,872 WHAT IS GOING ON HERE. 622 00:31:14,939 --> 00:31:20,411 >> HE IS SVEN FROM "FROZEN." 623 00:31:20,478 --> 00:31:21,746 >> Stephen: I APOLOGIZE. 624 00:31:21,813 --> 00:31:24,115 >> NOT TO ME! 625 00:31:24,182 --> 00:31:25,083 JUST TELL BAILEY. 626 00:31:25,149 --> 00:31:27,218 >> Stephen: AND I CALL MYSELF AN EDUCATED MAN. 627 00:31:27,285 --> 00:31:28,953 >> EXACTLY. 628 00:31:29,020 --> 00:31:30,054 EXACTLY. 629 00:31:30,121 --> 00:31:31,556 >> Stephen: SENATOR, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. 630 00:31:31,623 --> 00:31:34,959 IT'S ALWAYS WONDERFUL TO HEAR YOU LAY THINGS OUT. 631 00:31:35,026 --> 00:31:41,966 IWILLVOTE.COM. 632 00:31:42,033 --> 00:31:44,969 >> Stephen: SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN, EVERYBODY. 633 00:31:45,036 --> 00:31:47,972 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH FORMER SECRETARY OF ENERGY, ERNEST 634 00:31:48,039 --> 00:31:49,040 MONIZ. 635 00:32:11,996 --> 00:32:18,202 >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 636 00:32:18,269 --> 00:32:22,473 FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST IS THE FORMER SECRETARY OF ENERGY, 637 00:32:22,540 --> 00:32:23,941 C.E.O. OF "THE NUCLEAR THREAT INITIATIVE," AND PRESIDENT OF 638 00:32:24,008 --> 00:32:25,176 "THE ENERGY FUTURES INITIATIVE." 639 00:32:25,243 --> 00:32:26,811 PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," SECRETARY ERNEST MONIZ! 640 00:32:41,025 --> 00:32:42,427 >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 641 00:32:42,493 --> 00:32:43,428 >> GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 642 00:32:43,494 --> 00:32:44,696 >> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. 643 00:32:44,762 --> 00:32:45,830 >> THANK YOU. 644 00:32:45,897 --> 00:32:47,732 >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW WHAT I WAS SAYING TO 645 00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:51,736 LOUIS A LITTLE BIT EARLIER, THERE'S BEEN SO MUCH TALK LATELY 646 00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:58,009 ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY THAT PUTIN MIGHT FIRE OFF WHAT HAS CALLED A 647 00:32:58,076 --> 00:33:02,847 TACTICAL NUCLEAR WEAPON, OR A BATTLEFIELD NUCLEAR WEAPON. 648 00:33:02,914 --> 00:33:06,150 AND JUST SEEMS TO ME THAT NOT ENOUGH ATTENTION IS BEING PAID 649 00:33:06,217 --> 00:33:10,588 TO THE IDEA OF WHAT TACTICAL MEANS VERSUS STRATEGIC. 650 00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:12,824 AND I WAS HOPING YOU COULD DEFINE THAT FOR US. 651 00:33:12,890 --> 00:33:16,394 BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THIS WHOLE SUBJECT IS JUST BEING SOFTENED 652 00:33:16,461 --> 00:33:19,497 UP FOR US IN WAYS THAT IS JUST NOT HEALTHY. 653 00:33:19,564 --> 00:33:21,632 IT'S REDUCING OUR RESISTANCE TO THE IDEA THAT NUCLEAR WEAPONS 654 00:33:21,699 --> 00:33:25,036 WOULD BE USED BY TALKING ABOUT IT IN THESE KIND OF SOFT TERMS 655 00:33:25,103 --> 00:33:27,839 LIKE "TACTICAL" OR BATTLEFIELD." 656 00:33:27,905 --> 00:33:29,507 WHAT IS A TACTICAL NUKE? 657 00:33:29,574 --> 00:33:32,944 >> MAYBE IT'S BEST TO GIVE YOU A REFERENCE POINT FIRST. 658 00:33:33,010 --> 00:33:35,813 THE BOMB THAT EXPLODED IN HIROSHIMA. 659 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:39,951 IT WAS ABOUT 15,000 TONS T.N.T. 660 00:33:40,017 --> 00:33:41,753 EQUIVALENT, 15 KILL TONS. 661 00:33:41,819 --> 00:33:45,656 TACTICAL NUCLEAR WEAPONS ONE-THIRD THAT SIZE OR LESS. 662 00:33:45,723 --> 00:33:49,961 IT COULD BE A FACTOR OF 10 LESS. 663 00:33:50,027 --> 00:33:51,162 IT COULD BE EVEN A BIT MORE. 664 00:33:51,229 --> 00:33:54,799 BUT TO GIVE YOU A STANDARD ON THE OTHER SIDE, IF YOU GO BACK 665 00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:59,771 TO THE OKLAHOMA CITY BOMBING OF SOME YEARS AGO, THE DESTRUCTION 666 00:33:59,837 --> 00:34:02,106 THAT CAUSED, THAT WAS, OF COURSING, NOT A NUCLEAR WEAPON. 667 00:34:02,173 --> 00:34:04,375 THAT WAS A FERTILIZER BOMB, BASICALLY. 668 00:34:04,442 --> 00:34:05,410 SO NO RADIATION. 669 00:34:05,476 --> 00:34:07,912 BUT THAT WAS TWO TONS. 670 00:34:07,979 --> 00:34:11,115 SO 10,000 TIMES LESS THAN HIROSHIMA. 671 00:34:11,182 --> 00:34:13,151 SO IT GIVES YOU A SCALE. 672 00:34:13,217 --> 00:34:15,987 A SMALL NUCLEAR WEAPON AIN'T ALL THAT SMALL. 673 00:34:16,053 --> 00:34:18,389 I MEAN, IT'S STILL A PRETTY BAD DAY. 674 00:34:18,456 --> 00:34:20,992 >> Stephen: RIGHT, IT SEEMS TO ME THE DIFFERENCE IS BETWEEN THE 675 00:34:21,058 --> 00:34:25,296 WORST THING YOU COULD THINK OF AND THE UNTHINKABLE. 676 00:34:25,363 --> 00:34:26,497 LIKE, THAT'S THE SCALE. 677 00:34:26,564 --> 00:34:30,601 YOU KNOW, THE WORST THING YOU CAN IMAGINE, AND UNIMAGINABLY 678 00:34:30,668 --> 00:34:31,436 HORRIBLE. 679 00:34:31,502 --> 00:34:33,504 WHY DO TACTICAL NUCLEAR WEAPONS EXIST? 680 00:34:33,571 --> 00:34:37,442 >> SO THEY WERE INTRODUCED BY THE UNITED STATES AND THE SOVIET 681 00:34:37,508 --> 00:34:43,247 UNION AS YOU SAID, AS SOMETHING THAT COULD BE VIABLY USED IN A 682 00:34:43,314 --> 00:34:44,515 BATTLEFIELD. 683 00:34:44,582 --> 00:34:47,452 SO YOU WOULD LITERALLY USE THEM AGAINST TROOP CONCENTRATIONS OR 684 00:34:47,518 --> 00:34:48,953 SUPPLY LINES AND THE LIKE. 685 00:34:49,020 --> 00:34:53,758 THE UNITED STATES HAS GOTTEN RID OF MOST OF ITS IT TACTICAL 686 00:34:53,825 --> 00:34:54,959 NUCLEAR WEAPONS. 687 00:34:55,026 --> 00:34:56,427 THE SOVIET UNION HAS NOT. 688 00:34:56,494 --> 00:34:58,029 THEY'VE GOT ABOUT 2,000 OF THEM. 689 00:34:58,096 --> 00:35:03,434 AND PUTIN'S NUCLEAR SABER RATTLING IS CERTAINLY VERY 690 00:35:03,501 --> 00:35:05,303 UNSETTLING, TO PUT IT MILDLY. 691 00:35:05,369 --> 00:35:09,173 BUT, YOU KNOW, HE'S ALREADY CROSSED A LINE, EVEN WITHOUT 692 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:12,977 USING A NUCLEAR WEAPON, AS HE HAS ESSENTIALLY THREATENED TO DO 693 00:35:13,044 --> 00:35:14,212 MANY TIMES. 694 00:35:14,278 --> 00:35:16,881 AND THE REASON IS THTHAT, YOU KNOW, THE UNITED STATES AND THE 695 00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:22,320 SOVIET UNION ALWAYS TOOK A, WHAT I WOULD SAY RESPONSIBLE 696 00:35:22,386 --> 00:35:25,923 POSITION, UNDERSTANDING THAT WE HAD THESE HUGE ARSENALS, AND 697 00:35:25,990 --> 00:35:28,759 THAT WE HAD TO BE VERY CAREFUL ABOUT MANAGING THEM. 698 00:35:28,826 --> 00:35:32,230 AND WE HAD THEM JUST TO PREVENT THE OTHER SIDE FROM ATTACK, US. 699 00:35:32,296 --> 00:35:34,465 >> Stephen: RIGHT, DETERRENCE. 700 00:35:34,532 --> 00:35:37,635 >> DETERRENCE, RIGHT. 701 00:35:37,702 --> 00:35:43,374 WHEREAS PUTIN NOW HAS USED IT AS A COERCIVE TOOL TO INVADE A 702 00:35:43,441 --> 00:35:43,975 NON-NUCLEAR WEAPON STATE. 703 00:35:44,041 --> 00:35:44,842 IT'S A FUNDAMENTAL CHANGE. 704 00:35:44,909 --> 00:35:46,944 >> Stephen: A NON-NUCLEAR WEAPON STATE. 705 00:35:47,011 --> 00:35:48,079 >> UKRAINE. 706 00:35:48,145 --> 00:35:52,917 >> Stephen: SPECIFICALLY GAVE THEIR NUKES TO RUSSIA WHEN 707 00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:54,018 THE... BROKE UP. 708 00:35:54,085 --> 00:35:57,288 >> SOVIET NUCLEAR WEAPONS RETURNED TO RUSSIA, EXACTLY. 709 00:35:57,355 --> 00:36:01,626 AND I WOULD NOTE THAT THE MANY, MANY COUNTRIES THAT DO NOT HAVE 710 00:36:01,692 --> 00:36:05,429 NUCLEAR WEAPONS CERTAINLY PAY ATTENTION TO THIS. 711 00:36:05,496 --> 00:36:09,834 BECAUSE THE FEAR HAS ALSO OF ALWAYS BEEN THAT UNTIL THE 712 00:36:09,901 --> 00:36:12,370 NUCLEAR WEAPON STATES GOT RID OF THEIR NUCLEAR WEAPONS, THEY 713 00:36:12,436 --> 00:36:16,207 COULD BE USED EXACTLY THAT WAY, AS TOOLS OF COERCION. 714 00:36:16,274 --> 00:36:18,009 SO ONE TABU HAS BEEN BROKEN. 715 00:36:18,075 --> 00:36:23,948 BUT THE BIG TABU AGAINST USING A NUCLEAR WEAPON WE HOPE WILL 716 00:36:24,015 --> 00:36:24,682 HOLD. 717 00:36:24,749 --> 00:36:25,883 , OBVIOUSLY, DESPITE THE THREATS. 718 00:36:25,950 --> 00:36:28,486 >> Stephen: TODAY, WE LEARNED THAT RUSSIAN MILITARY LEADERS 719 00:36:28,553 --> 00:36:31,522 DISCUSSED THE USE OF TACTICAL NUKES. 720 00:36:31,589 --> 00:36:32,757 WE HAVE INTELLIGENCE SAYING THAT. 721 00:36:32,823 --> 00:36:38,696 AND THAT THE UPSHOT OF THIS INTEL THAT THEY HAVE IS THE 722 00:36:38,763 --> 00:36:41,198 RUSSIAN GENERALS BELIEVE PUTIN IS SERIOUS ABOUT THIS, EVEN 723 00:36:41,265 --> 00:36:45,903 THOUGH HE HAS SAID, "NO, I WOUL" >> THAT MILITARY LEADERS ARE 724 00:36:45,970 --> 00:36:47,705 DISCUSSING THAT IS NOT NEW. 725 00:36:47,772 --> 00:36:49,540 THAT HAS BEEN FOR DECADES. 726 00:36:49,607 --> 00:36:52,009 WHAT IS NEW IS DOING IT IN THE CONTEXT OF THE PRESIDENT, WHO 727 00:36:52,076 --> 00:36:56,213 HAS THE SOLE AUTHORITY TO USE THOSE WEAPONSs, HAVING 728 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:57,214 THREATENED TO USE THEM. 729 00:36:57,281 --> 00:36:59,050 >> Stephen: DID YOU THINK WE WOULD BE HERE? 730 00:36:59,116 --> 00:37:04,322 BECAUSE WE BOTH GREW UP WITH THE LOOMING THREAT OF A STRATEGIC 731 00:37:04,388 --> 00:37:07,725 EXCHANGE OF I.C.B.M.s AND THE IDEA IT IS ALL GOING TO BE OVER 732 00:37:07,792 --> 00:37:10,728 TOMORROW NATCHES AN ONGOING,ICILY, NIGHTMARE OF MY 733 00:37:10,795 --> 00:37:11,462 CHILDHOOD. 734 00:37:11,529 --> 00:37:13,197 BUT I LET THAT GO IN THE MID-90s. 735 00:37:13,264 --> 00:37:17,735 DID YOU IMAGINE WE'D BE HERE HAVING A REASONABLE SUBJECT FOR 736 00:37:17,802 --> 00:37:20,671 DISCUSSION IS WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW? 737 00:37:20,738 --> 00:37:25,643 >> WELL, FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE REFERRING BACK TO THE "DUCK AND 738 00:37:25,710 --> 00:37:26,143 COVER" DAYS. 739 00:37:26,210 --> 00:37:26,744 >> Stephen: EXACTLY. 740 00:37:26,811 --> 00:37:27,945 >> UNDER THE SCHOOL DESK. 741 00:37:28,012 --> 00:37:30,414 >> Stephen: DO WE NEED TO JUST DISTRIBUTE SCHOOL DESKS AGAIN? 742 00:37:30,481 --> 00:37:31,282 >> ABSOLUTELY. 743 00:37:31,349 --> 00:37:32,316 BUT REALLY THICK ONES. 744 00:37:32,383 --> 00:37:36,120 ( LAUGHTER ) AND I WOULD SUGGEST AS WELL THAT 745 00:37:36,187 --> 00:37:40,558 I THINK ONE IS SEEING A REVIVAL OF BUILDING BOMB SHELTERS IN THE 746 00:37:40,625 --> 00:37:41,525 UNITED STATES. 747 00:37:41,592 --> 00:37:43,728 SO WE'RE KIND OF GOING BACK TO THAT TIME. 748 00:37:43,794 --> 00:37:47,765 BUT YOUR QUESTION, LOOK, THE COLD WAR ENDED EARLY 90s. 749 00:37:47,832 --> 00:37:52,136 THERE WAS A KIND OF, LIKE, A COLLECTIVE EXHALE. 750 00:37:52,203 --> 00:37:53,437 "WELL, WE GOT PAST THAT." 751 00:37:53,504 --> 00:37:58,743 THE TROUBLE IS THAT THERE ARE SOME NEW THREATS, LIKE CYBER 752 00:37:58,809 --> 00:37:59,844 ATTACKS. 753 00:37:59,910 --> 00:38:02,279 SUPPOSE THERE'S A SUCCESSFUL CYBERATTACK ON THE NUCLEAR 754 00:38:02,346 --> 00:38:05,149 WEAPONS COMMAND SYSTEM, COMMAND AND CONTROL SYSTEM? 755 00:38:05,216 --> 00:38:10,187 WHAT WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT IS BLUNDER, THAT NOBODY MEANS TO 756 00:38:10,254 --> 00:38:14,125 USE THE NUCLEAR WEAPONS IN A MAJOR EXCHANGE, BUT THAT THERE'S 757 00:38:14,191 --> 00:38:15,292 A BLUNDER. 758 00:38:15,359 --> 00:38:19,597 SOMEBODY HACKS IN, INITIATES A SERIES OF EVENTS WHERE, YOU 759 00:38:19,664 --> 00:38:22,700 KNOW, PRESIDENTS ONLY HAVE MINUTES TO MAKE A DECISION IN 760 00:38:22,767 --> 00:38:24,301 TERMS OF WHAT TO DO. 761 00:38:24,368 --> 00:38:26,904 SO WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT THAT, WHICH IS WHY WE THINK WE HAVE TO 762 00:38:26,971 --> 00:38:31,142 KEEP ON WITH LOWERING THE NUMBER OF WEAPONS, EVENTUALLY GET RID 763 00:38:31,208 --> 00:38:34,545 OF THEM, AND SATISFY OUR NONPROLIFERATION GOALS. 764 00:38:34,612 --> 00:38:36,280 >> Stephen: WHO CAN TALK TO PUTIN? 765 00:38:36,347 --> 00:38:40,985 >> SO, WE THINK THAT WHO CAN TALK TO PUTIN SUCCESSFULLY-- I 766 00:38:41,052 --> 00:38:44,321 MEAN, MANY PEOPLE CAN TALK WITH PUTIN-- BUT SUCCESSFULLY, I 767 00:38:44,388 --> 00:38:47,892 THINK YOU HAVE TO START BY LOOKING AT WHO DOES HE-- WHO 768 00:38:47,958 --> 00:38:50,528 DOES RUSSIA NEED ON HIS SIDE? 769 00:38:50,594 --> 00:38:51,295 NEEDS CHINA. 770 00:38:51,362 --> 00:38:52,229 NEEDS INDIA. 771 00:38:52,296 --> 00:38:54,732 THEY'RE BUYING THE OIL RIGHT NOW FROM RUSSIA. 772 00:38:54,799 --> 00:38:58,869 MAYBE YOU CAN ARGUE SAUDI ARABIA AND OPEC FOR THE OIL MARKETS, 773 00:38:58,936 --> 00:38:59,970 YOU KNOW, ET CETERA. 774 00:39:00,037 --> 00:39:03,040 SO THE LEADERS OF THOSE COUNTRIES, AND MOST ESPECIALLY 775 00:39:03,107 --> 00:39:04,742 CHINA, COULD HAVE REAL SWAY. 776 00:39:04,809 --> 00:39:10,214 AND WE HAVE ARGUED THAT IF PUTIN WERE TO USE A NUCLEAR WEAPON IN 777 00:39:10,281 --> 00:39:13,017 UKRAINE, IT WOULD BE VERY BAD FOR CHINA'S SELF-INTEREST, 778 00:39:13,084 --> 00:39:17,455 BECAUSE THAT COULD LEAD IN UNCONTROLLED WAYS TO THEIR OWN 779 00:39:17,521 --> 00:39:18,522 SECURITY ENVIRONMENT UNRAVELING. 780 00:39:18,589 --> 00:39:22,626 YOU KNOW, THEY LIVE IN A NEIGHBORHOOD WHERE JAPAN AND 781 00:39:22,693 --> 00:39:29,133 SOUTH KOREA AND TAIWAN, FRANKLY, ALL HAVE SIGNIFICANT NUCLEAR 782 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:30,367 CAPABILITIES. 783 00:39:30,434 --> 00:39:32,570 AND IF THEY DECIDED, YOU KNOW, THEY HAD TO MOVE TOWARDS NUCLEAR 784 00:39:32,636 --> 00:39:35,272 WEAPONS, THEY CERTAINLY HAVE THE TECHNICAL CAPABILITY TO DO SO. 785 00:39:35,339 --> 00:39:40,311 SO WE THINK CHINA HAS A SELF-INTEREST, AND PRESIDENT XI 786 00:39:40,377 --> 00:39:43,814 SHOULD BE TALKING TO HIS DECLARED FRIEND "DON'T CROSS 787 00:39:43,881 --> 00:39:44,915 THAT LINE." 788 00:39:44,982 --> 00:39:47,785 >> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR SUCH A CHEERFUL CONVERSATION. 789 00:39:47,852 --> 00:39:48,185 ( APPLAUSE ). 790 00:39:48,252 --> 00:39:49,687 >> NO PROBLEM. 791 00:39:49,754 --> 00:39:50,654 >> Stephen: SECRETARY ERNEST MONIZ, EVERYBODY! 792 00:39:50,721 --> 00:39:52,556 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 793 00:39:52,623 --> 00:39:53,624 THANK YOU. 794 00:40:14,712 --> 00:40:16,647 >> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW." 795 00:40:16,714 --> 00:40:19,784 TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE BONO. 796 00:40:19,850 --> 00:40:21,852 STICK AROUND FOR JAMES CORDEN.