1
00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:06,773
>> HI, I'M MICHAEL SHANNON.
MOST PEOPLE KNOW ME FROM MY
2
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,243
INTIMIDATING, ALMOST SOCIOPATHIC
PERSONA.
3
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:15,415
BUT THERE'S ANOTHER SIDE.
AND TO SHOW YOU, I'VE PUT OUT AN
4
00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:23,289
ALBUM OF BEST OF THANKSGIVING
SONGS.
5
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:25,258
>> INTRODUCING "EVERYBODY'S GOT
STUFFING TO HIDE EXCEPT ME AND
6
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:27,560
MY TURKEY: THE SONGS OF
THANKSGIVING."
7
00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:57,390
>> YOU'LL ALSO GET:
8
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:11,004
AND OF COURSE:
9
00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:27,987
>> AND MANY MORE SOON-TO-BE
CLASSICS.
10
00:01:28,054 --> 00:01:29,989
>> ACT NOW, AND I'LL ALSO THROW
IN MY CHRISTMAS ALBUM:
11
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:40,266
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE
SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
12
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:44,103
TONIGHT:
13
00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:49,509
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES:
JAKE GYLLENHAAL
14
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:53,480
AND ELIZABETH DEBICKI
15
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:59,886
FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND THE
LATE SHOW BAND.
16
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,256
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE
ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
17
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:10,063
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
18
00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:16,002
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
HEY!
19
00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:19,839
HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
20
00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:22,308
THERE YOU GO.
I LOVE IT.
21
00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:30,650
THEY LOVE IT.
ROLL THOSE DICE.
22
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:34,420
HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY
THANKSGIVING.
23
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:35,889
>> Audience: STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
24
00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:37,090
STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT!
25
00:02:37,156 --> 00:02:41,194
HEY, EVERYBODY!
UP THERE, DOWN HERE.
26
00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:50,003
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
♪ ♪ ♪
27
00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:53,840
LET'S DO IT!
LET'S DO IT, MAN.
28
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:58,244
I'M READY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
29
00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:02,215
HELLO.
HELLO.
30
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:05,818
WELCOME, WELCOME, EVERYBODY, TO
"THE LATE SHOW."
31
00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:09,055
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
FOLKS--
32
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:17,096
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
AS WE ALL KNOW, TOMORROW IS
33
00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:20,300
THANKSGIVING.
IT'S A SPECIAL TIME, WHEN WE
34
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:21,801
GATHER WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS
TO SHARE OUR GRATITUDE THROUGH
35
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,904
AMERICA'S TRADITIONAL EXPRESSION
OF LOVE: THE FOOD COMA.
36
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:34,581
( LAUGHTER )
MIGHT LOOK A LITTLE DIFFERENT,
37
00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:36,416
BECAUSE PRICES ARE UP ON ALMOST
EVERYTHING FROM FROZEN PIE
38
00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:38,351
CRUSTS TO PUMPKIN PIE MIX TO
A DOZEN DINNER ROLLS.
39
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:40,486
THERE GOES MY FAVORITE DESSERT:
A DOZEN DINNER ROLLS.
40
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,789
THESE HIGH PRICES ARE CAUSED BY
A VARIETY OF FACTORS, INCLUDING
41
00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:47,093
THE WAR IN UKRAINE, HIGH FUEL
PRICES.
42
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,595
BUT THE NUMBER ONE FACTOR,
ACCORDING TO EXPERTS, IS
43
00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:51,030
HUNTER BIDEN'S LAPTOP.
( LAUGHTER )
44
00:03:51,097 --> 00:04:03,476
( CHEERING )
PLAYERS.
45
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:06,012
IT'S ALSO THE STAR OF THE SHOW,
TOM TURKEY!
46
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,649
IN ADDITION TO INFLATION, A
BLIGHT OF AVIAN FLU MEANS THAT
47
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:13,453
THANKSGIVING 2022 IS SHAPING UP
TO BE A TOUGH ONE FOR TURKEY.
48
00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:16,723
TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE
EVERY THANKSGIVING IS A TOUGH
49
00:04:16,789 --> 00:04:21,260
ONE FOR TURKEYS.
( LAUGHTER )
50
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:27,567
( APPLAUSE )
A LITTLE ARB PLAWZ BEFORE THEY
51
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:31,237
MEET THEIR END.
EVEN IF YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS
52
00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:32,805
ON SOME OF THAT DRY, CLOTH-
FLAVORED MEAT, IT WILL LIKELY
53
00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:36,209
BE MUCH SMALLER THAN YOU'RE USED
TO, BECAUSE SOME TURKEYS MAY NOT
54
00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:39,178
HAVE HAD THE FULL AMOUNT OF TIME
TO GET TO 20 POUNDS BEFORE
55
00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:43,516
THANKSGIVING.
OH, SO TURKEY IS THAT
56
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:46,619
FRIEND NOW.
( AS TURKEY )
57
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:49,589
NO MATTER WHAT I EAT-- GRAIN,
BERRIES, REGIONAL GRASSES.
58
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:50,590
I'M, LIKE, DROWNING IN THIS
WATTLE.
59
00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:52,492
IT'S SO ANNOYING.
I'M JEALOUS.
60
00:04:52,558 --> 00:04:56,629
YOU EAT ANYTHING AND GET FAT."
( LAUGHTER )
61
00:04:56,696 --> 00:05:04,037
THAT ARBY'S IS WARNING CUSTOMERS
THAT TURKEY SANDWICHES ARE NOT
62
00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:06,272
AVAILABLE, AND HAS POSTED
"TEMPORARILY OUT OF STOCK" ON
63
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:09,208
MENU BOARDS, FORCING THEM TO
CHANGE THEIR SLOGAN FROM "WE
64
00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:11,778
HAVE THE MATS" TO "WANT A CUP
OF HORSEY SAUCE?"
65
00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:19,752
( LAUGHTER )
I KIND OF DO.
66
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,487
THE DAY AFTER YOU'VE SHARED A
MEAL WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS,
67
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:22,989
IT'S TIME FOR THE NEXT
TRADITION: TRAMPLING THEM AT
68
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,557
"BEST BUY" FOR A PAIR OF
BLUETOOTH HEADPHONES.
69
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:27,560
BECAUSE IT'S BLACK FRIDAY!
WHILE MOST OF BLACK FRIDAY SALES
70
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:32,965
COME FROM BIG BUSINESSES, WE
HERE AT "THE LATE SHOW" HAVE
71
00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:36,436
BEEN TRYING OUR BEST TO SUPPORT
THE LITTLE GUYS.
72
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,838
SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING OF THE
PANDEMIC, WE'VE WORKED TO GIVE
73
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:41,240
INDEPENDENTLY OWNED COMPANIES A
BOOST WITH THE HASHTAG
74
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:46,279
#COLBERTSMALLBIZBUMP AND HAVE
HIGHLIGHTED THEM, DOZENS OF THEM
75
00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:47,413
HERE ON THE SHOW.
THE RESPONSE HAS BEEN
76
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,881
TREMENDOUS.
JUST LISTEN TO THE OWNERS OF
77
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:55,354
PREUSS PETS IN LANSING,
MICHIGAN, AFTER WE MENTIONED
78
00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:56,889
THEIR STORE ON THIS SHOW.
>> HI GUYS, IT'S KIRBAY FROM
79
00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:59,625
PREUSS PETS.
IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD, THERE'S
80
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:03,863
SOMETHING REALLY COOL.
WE WERE FEATURED-- PREUSS PETS
81
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:09,402
WAS FEATURED ON STEPHEN COLBERT.
SEAN AND I HAD PLANNED TO GO
82
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:18,344
LIVE TODAY AND DO A CREATIVE
VIDEO FOR "SMALL BIZ BUMP."
83
00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:22,081
MY BUMP HAD OTHER PLANS.
I'M NOW DILATED TO THREE
84
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:27,754
CENTIMETERS AND WAS SENT HOME
TO DO NOTHING BUT TAKE BATHS,
85
00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:30,590
AND THIS IS MY OWN
SELF-PRESCRIPTION.
86
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:33,693
IF YOU HAVEN'T TRIED BEN &
JERRY'S MINTER WONDERLAND,
87
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,596
IT'S, LIKE, THE BEST ICE CREAM
ON THE PLANET.
88
00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:38,931
I'M GONNA SIGN OFF NOW AND
CONTINUE LABORING AND HAVE A
89
00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:43,903
BABY.
>> Stephen: JUST TO BE CLEAR
90
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:47,373
( APPLAUSE )
THAT IS SO-- THAT IS BEAUTFUL
91
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:53,012
TO HEAR.
BUT JUST TO BE CLEAR, GETTING
92
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,148
THE COLBERT SMALL BIZ BUMP DOES
NOT CAUSE PREGNANCY... THAT I
93
00:06:55,214 --> 00:07:03,689
KNOW OF.
( LAUGHTER )
94
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:12,431
THIS VIDEO, OF COURSE, WAS VERY
TOUCHING, AND I HOPE EVERYTHING
95
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:13,399
WENT WELL, BUT I DO HAVE ONE
SMALL ISSUE:
96
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:16,836
YOUR ICE CREAM CHOICE.
COME ON!
97
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:20,106
NEXT BABY YOU HAVE, DITCH THAT
BUCKET OF SLUDGE AND ADMINISTER
98
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:23,242
A MASSIVE DOSE OF STEPHEN
COLBERT'S AMERICONE DREAM.
99
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:26,846
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
COME ON.
100
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:28,614
BOOM!
RIGHT THERE.
101
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:31,350
MMM!
MMM!
102
00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:32,285
MMM!
OH!
103
00:07:32,351 --> 00:07:40,593
OH, MY LORD.
( APPLAUSE )
104
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:44,764
EPIDURAL.
IN FACT, OUR SLOGAN IS
105
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:46,732
"AMERICONE DREAM: ONE BITE, AND
YOU COULD YANK A CANTELOPE OUTTA
106
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:50,102
THERE!"
( LAUGHTER )
107
00:07:50,169 --> 00:08:01,814
>> Louis: REALLY?
THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY?
108
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:05,852
NOTHING LIKE A MASSIVE DOSE OF
DAIRY WHEN YOU'RE DOING A
109
00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:07,119
MONOLOGUE.
SINCE THEN, WE'VE GOTTEN VIDEOS
110
00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:08,588
FROM OTHER BUSINESSES THAT COULD
USE A BOOST, LIKE THIS ONE FROM
111
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:10,156
LA TIGRE MEN'S STORE IN
SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO.
112
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:14,126
>> HELLO, STEPHEN.
WELCOME TO SAN JUAN, PUERTO
113
00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:17,897
RICO, AND WELCOME TO LA TIGRE.
SO, STEPHEN, LA TIGRE IS PUERTO
114
00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:19,699
RICO'S PREMIERE DESTINATION FOR
CUSTOM CLOTHING AND ITALIAN
115
00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:28,307
COLLECTIONS.
AND ALTHOUGH WE SELL LUXURY
116
00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:33,412
ITEMS AND HIGH-QUALITY GOODS,
WE'RE STILL A SMALL BUSINESS.
117
00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:35,014
SO LAST YEAR HAS BEEN REALLY
CHALLENGING FOR US AS WELL.
118
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:38,651
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?
LAST YEAR, WHEN YOU TOLD EVIE
119
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:44,290
YOUR MEASUREMENTS, FOR A
BIRTHDAY PRESENT, WE MADE A
120
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,025
SHIRT JUST FOR YOU.
WE EVEN PUT YOUR INITIALS TO THE
121
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,560
SHIRT.
>> Stephen: WELL, I'M HAPPY TO
122
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:54,867
SAY, I GOT THE SHIRT FROM
LA TIGRE.
123
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:55,868
IT'S ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.
UNFORTUNATELY, DUE TO THE STRESS
124
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:56,903
OF THE LAST COUPLE YEARS, MY
MEASUREMENTS HAVE...
125
00:08:56,969 --> 00:08:58,604
EVOLVED.
I'M NOT AT LIBERTY TO DISCUSS
126
00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:00,373
WHETHER THEY'VE GONE UP OR DOWN.
SO LET'S JUST SAY THIS WILL BE
127
00:09:00,439 --> 00:09:05,912
PERFECT FOR SOMEONE WHO SHARES
MY INITIALS BUT HAS NOT BEEN
128
00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:09,348
POUNDING PINTS OF AMERICONE
DREAM.
129
00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:10,449
NOW--
( APPLAUSE )
130
00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:18,958
WAIFE.
WE HEARD FROM SO MANY GREAT
131
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:20,559
BUSINESSES THAT DESERVE A BUMP,
BUT THERE WAS ONE IN CLEVELAND,
132
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:22,495
OHIO, THAT REALLY CAUGHT MY EYE.
>> HERE WE ARE AT FINE POINTS IN
133
00:09:22,561 --> 00:09:23,796
CLEVELAND, OHIO.
MY NAME IS LIZ TEKUS, AND I'M
134
00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:26,365
THE OWNER.
WE HAVE A HUGE SELECTION OF
135
00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:29,602
YARN.
WE SUPPORT INDEPENDENT DYERS.
136
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:32,271
WE HAVE A LOT OF HAND-DYED AND
HAND-PAINTED YARNS.
137
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:35,675
YOU CAN SEE HERE WE HAVE
HUNDREDS OF BUTTONS.
138
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:39,345
SOME PEOPLE JUST COME HERE FOR
THE BUTTONS.
139
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,682
SO, AGAIN, THIS IS LIZ TEKUS,
FROM FINE POINTS IN CLEVELAND,
140
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:47,286
OHIO, AND I HOPE YOU'LL
COME AND SEE US SOON.
141
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:49,555
>> Stephen: THAT GOT ME EXCITED
ABOUT "FINE POINTS," AND I
142
00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:52,058
WANTED TO GET OTHER PEOPLE
EXCITED ABOUT IT, TOO.
143
00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:55,928
AND IF THERE'S ONE THING THE
FINE SLATE OF PROGRAMMING HERE
144
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:59,498
AT CBS HAS SHOWN, IT'S THAT
NOTHING GETS PEOPLE MORE EXCITED
145
00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:03,936
THAN THE RELEASE OF A BRAND NEW
"N.C.I.S." FRANCHISE.
146
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:05,237
BUT HOW COULD WE HARNESS THAT TO
HELP FINE POINTS?
147
00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:12,511
TAKE A LOOK.
>> LISTEN UP, AGENTS!
148
00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:15,648
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU HAVE SOLVED ALL THE
149
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:18,017
NAVY-RELATED CRIMES IN
LOS ANGELES.
150
00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:20,353
>> DAMN RIGHT.
>> WHICH MEANS WE HAVE TO
151
00:10:20,419 --> 00:10:23,856
TRANSFER THE ENTIRE "N.C.I.S."
UNIT.
152
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:35,601
WELCOME TO CLEVELAND.
>> OH?
153
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:39,238
UNBELIEVABLE.
HE LEFT US ALL THE CLUES.
154
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:48,948
>> YEAH.
ARE WHERE DO THEY GET THIS
155
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:52,251
YEARN?
( APPLAUSE )
156
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:56,956
DIED.
THIS FABRIC.
157
00:10:57,023 --> 00:11:01,160
IT'S HAND DYED.
BY INDEPENDENT DYERS.
158
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:07,099
>> IT'S AMAZING.
DEEKS, LOOK AT THE DETAIL.
159
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:11,237
>> ATTENTION, FELLOW
CLEVELANDERS, AS MAYOR OF
160
00:11:11,303 --> 00:11:15,541
CLEANED,s I MUST ADDRESS THE
GRUESOME CRIME WAVE SPREADING
161
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:19,245
ACROSS OUR CITY.
>> DAMN IT!
162
00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:24,850
>> KNITTING NEEDLES.
>> WE BELIEVE THE CROCHET KILLER
163
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:28,554
IS ON THE LOOSE AGAIN.
>> LOOK WHAT HE DID TO THE
164
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:31,057
VICTIM'S FACE.
>> UGH!
165
00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:38,898
IT'S AWFUL!
BUT THAT IS AN INCREDIBLE
166
00:11:38,964 --> 00:11:44,070
SELECTION OF BUTTONS.
>> WE MUST DETERMINE WHERE HE
167
00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:46,272
GETS THESE AMAZING
KNITTING/MURDER SUPPLIES.
168
00:11:46,338 --> 00:11:51,077
>> LET'S CHECK OUT THE
HYPERDIAGNOSTIC IMAGES OF THE
169
00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:52,511
NEEDLE.
>> OKAY, ENHANCE.
170
00:11:52,578 --> 00:12:00,152
DOUBLE ENHANCE.
ENHANCE REFLECTION.
171
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:05,191
( LAUGHTER )
VIDEO.
172
00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:08,427
>> FROM PINE POINT IN CLEVELAND,
OHIO.
173
00:12:08,494 --> 00:12:21,807
>> FINE POINTS!
>> SORRY, AGENTS, BUT I THINK
174
00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:36,755
YOU'VE LOST THE THREAD.
( LAUGHTER )
175
00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:44,797
YOU'VE LOST THE THREAD.
( LAUGHTER )
176
00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:49,835
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
CAREY, EVERYONE AT "N.C.I.S.:
177
00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:52,371
LOS ANGELES," AND, OF COURSE,
LIZ TEKUS AND EVERYONE AT FINE
178
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:56,575
POINTS IN CLEVELAND.
I HOPE IT HELPS MOVE SOME YARN!
179
00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:57,710
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT!
180
00:12:57,776 --> 00:12:59,512
MY GUESTS ARE JAKE GYLLENHAAL
AND STAR OF "THE CROWN,"
181
00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:01,480
ELIZABETH DEBICKI.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
182
00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:03,849
"MEANWHILE!"
JOIN US, WON'T YOU.
183
00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:46,525
GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND.
184
00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:50,129
LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW
BAND, EVERYBODY!
185
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:52,865
THERE YOU GO!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
186
00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:57,503
>> Louis: YES, INDEED.
>> Stephen: LOUIS.
187
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:01,507
>> Louis: STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: LOUIS, TONIGHT--
188
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:04,710
IS IT TONIGHT?
DO I HAVE THE RIGHT THING HERE?
189
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:06,478
TONIGHT, HAPPY WEDNESDAY, FIRST
OF ALL,.
190
00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:09,281
>> Louis: HAPPY WEDNESDAY.
>> Stephen: HAPPY WEDNESDAY TO
191
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:10,783
YOU.
HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY.
192
00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:15,120
TONIGHT WE HAVE TWO AMAZING
PERFORMERS, YOUNG, TALENTED,
193
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:17,289
BEAUTIFUL, JAKE GYLLENHAAL, AND
"THE CROWN'S" ELIZABETH DEBICKI
194
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,925
ARE HERE.
SHE'S PLAYING PRINCESS DIANA.
195
00:14:19,992 --> 00:14:21,660
>> Louis: THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: SHE'S PLAYING
196
00:14:21,727 --> 00:14:23,629
PRINCESS DIANA.
UNLIKE PRINCESS DIANA, ELIZABETH
197
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,599
DEBICKI IS 6'3".
>> Louis: I HEARD.
198
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:28,968
>> Stephen: YOU ADD THE
EXCITEMENT OF WATCHING "THE
199
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,670
CROWN" AND THE DRAMA OF CHARLES
AND DIANA, WITH THE KNOWLEDGE
200
00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:36,275
THAT IN THIS-- YOU KNOW, IN THIS
VERSION, DIANA CAN DUNK.
201
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:39,144
LAUGH VERY EXCITING.
VERY EXCITING.
202
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:53,359
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TOMORROW.
>> Louis: HAPPY THANKS TO YOU,
203
00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:54,560
TOO
>> Stephen: FOLKS, YOU KNOW I
204
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,794
SPEND MOST OF MY TIME RIGHT OVER
THERE, WANDERING THE STORY
205
00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:57,630
MARKET, PICKING OUT THE FINEST,
MOST TOPICAL KELLY-BRONZE NEWS
206
00:14:57,696 --> 00:14:59,531
TURKEY, THE BRIGHTEST, MOST
EXQUISITE YUKON GOLD POTATOES,
207
00:14:59,598 --> 00:15:01,400
AND THE RIPEST McFARLIN
CRANBERRIES, THEN PREPARING AND
208
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,102
ASSEMBLING IT ALL INTO THE
SPECTACULAR, AND CLASSIC
209
00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:06,772
THANKSGIVING SPREAD THAT IS MY
MONOLOGUE.
210
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:09,742
BUT SOMETIMES, JUST SOMETMES,
FOLKS, I CRASH A STOLEN CABLE
211
00:15:09,808 --> 00:15:11,577
SERVICE VAN INTO A CONDEMNED
MIDDLE SCHOOL CAFETERIA, SCRAPE
212
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:13,679
TOGETHER SOME DISCARDED FRUIT BY
THE FOOT, EXPIRED YOOHOO, AND
213
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,681
WHAT IS EITHER AN OLD SLICE OF
BREAD OR A FALLEN CEILING TILE
214
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,517
AND SLAP IT ALL TOGETHER TO
SERVE THE ASSEMBLED RACCOONS THE
215
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:21,186
DEMENTED OUTLAW PICNIC OF NEWS
THAT IS MY SEGMENT:
216
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:26,125
>> MEANWHILE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
217
00:15:26,191 --> 00:15:30,462
MEANWHILE, IT'S WHAT'S FOR
DINNER.
218
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:37,703
IT'S AMERICA'S WAY TO PLAY.
MEANWHILE, MUSICIAN
219
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,806
"DJ KHALED IS OFFERING FANS A
UNIQUE CHANCE TO BOOK AN AIRBNB
220
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:45,444
STAY IN HIS SHOE CLOSET."
IT'S PERFECT FOR ANYONE WHO
221
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:47,413
LOVES THE SMELL OF SWEATY FEET
AND BEING WOKEN UP BY A MAN
222
00:15:47,479 --> 00:15:52,151
SCREAMING HIS OWN NAME.
( LAUGHTER )
223
00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:57,856
STRUGGLING TO INCINERATE ALL OF
THE COCAINE IT SEIZED IN YET
224
00:15:57,923 --> 00:16:01,360
ANOTHER RECORD YEAR."
WELL, THERE'S AN EASY FIX.
225
00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:03,929
IF THEY'RE STRUGGLING TO KEEP
UP, GIVE THE PEOPLE RUNNING THE
226
00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:08,500
INCINERATOR COCAINE.
THEY WILL NOT SLEEP UNTIL
227
00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:15,708
THE JOB IS DONE.
MEANWHILE, AFTER A SERIES OF
228
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:18,777
VERY PUBLIC SETBACKS, "ELON
MUSK'S 2022 WEALTH LOSS EXCEEDS
229
00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:26,485
$100 BILLION."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
230
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:31,990
I KNOW BELT-TIGHTENING IS NO
FUN, BUT YOU'RE NOT ALONE IN
231
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:37,162
THESE TOUGH ECONOMIC TIMES.
OKAY, ALL OF US ARE HAVING TO
232
00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:39,865
CUT BACK ON HOW MANY CARS WE
SHOOT INTO SPACE.
233
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:43,502
MEANWHILE, AN EARBUD PIECE WAS
STUCK IN A BRITISH MAN'S EAR FOR
234
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:46,772
FIVE YEARS.
AND THAT WHOLE TIME, IT WAS
235
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:50,743
PLAYING ONE EXTENDED PHISH SOLO.
( LAUGHTER )
236
00:16:50,809 --> 00:16:54,613
PIECE OF AN EARBUD POPPED OFF IN
THE MAN'S EAR, AND AFTER YEARS
237
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,916
OF SUFFERING FROM HEARING LOSS,
HE PURCHASED "A HOME ENDOSCOPE
238
00:16:57,983 --> 00:17:01,920
KIT," AND "THE TINY CAMERA
ALERTED HIM TO A SMALL WHITE
239
00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:08,460
OBJECT INSIDE HIS EAR."
SO HE VISITED AN EAR, NOSE, AND
240
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,295
THROAT SURGEON, WHO WAS ABLE TO
REMOVE THE OFFENDING OBJECT.
241
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:11,764
SO I JUST NEED TO FIX THAT
HEADLINE.
242
00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:14,633
IT SHOULD SAY, "DUMBASS REFUSES
TO GO TO DOCTOR FOR FIVE YEARS,
243
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:19,238
IN ENGLAND, WHERE IT'S FREE!"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
244
00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:26,645
MEANWHILE, A BAVARIAN MAN "NOW
HOLDS THE GUINNESS WORLD RECORD
245
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:30,549
FOR ASSEMBLING THE LARGEST
COLLECTION OF RUBIK'S CUBES OR
246
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:31,884
ROTATING PUZZLES IN THE WORLD,"
AND "CAN SOLVE ONE IN 40
247
00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:35,154
SECONDS."
IN FACT, THE ONLY PUZZLE HE
248
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:43,962
HASN'T SOLVED IS LONELINESS.
( LAUGHTER )
249
00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:48,100
MEANWHILE, "THE FEDERAL HIGHWAY
ADMINISTRATION HAS REPORTEDLY
250
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:52,037
ORDERED NEW JERSEY OFFICIALS TO
STOP PUTTING UP CUTE AND FUNNY
251
00:17:52,104 --> 00:17:55,574
MESSAGE BOARDS WITH IN-YOUR-FACE
SAFETY WARNINGS SUCH AS "GET
252
00:17:55,641 --> 00:18:00,746
YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR APPS" OR
"NICE CAR, DID IT COME WITH A
253
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:04,116
TURN SIGNAL?"
THE F.H.A. IS REQUIRING THAT
254
00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:08,320
FROM NOW ON, THE SIGNS USE ONLY
SERIOUS JOKES LIKE "WHY DID THE
255
00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:10,055
CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
BECAUSE ITS CAR WAS IMPOUNDED
256
00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:12,057
AFTER BLOWING A .18 ON THE
BRETHALYZER.
257
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:15,694
ALSO, THE CHICKEN'S WIFE LEFT
LEFT HIM."
258
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:22,234
( LAUGHTER )
THE "NEW YORK TIMES" HAS GIVEN A
259
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:25,337
RARE FOUR-STAR REVIEW TO A NEW
SUSHI RESTAURANT THAT IT
260
00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:29,074
DESCRIBES AS "MAYBE THE ONLY
RESTAURANT IN NEW YORK THAT WILL
261
00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:31,910
SLIP COD SEMEN INTO THE MIDDLE
OF A VERY EXPENSIVE TASTING
262
00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:36,181
MENU."
AND THAT IS THE MOST UPSETTING
263
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:40,519
"MAYBE" I'VE EVER SEEN.
I HOPE NEW YORK WAITERS WILL
264
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:44,389
UNDERSTAND WHEN, FOR THE REST OF
MY LIFE, I SAY "JUST IN CASE,
265
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:48,927
HOLD THE COD SEMEN."
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JAKE
266
00:18:48,994 --> 00:18:50,362
GYLLENHAAL.
267
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:11,083
( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HEY!
268
00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:15,888
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!
NEVER BE IN DOUBT.
269
00:19:15,954 --> 00:19:21,193
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW
MY FIRST GUEST FROM MOVIES SUCH
270
00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:23,996
AS "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN,"
"NIGHTCRAWLER," AND "STRONGER."
271
00:19:24,062 --> 00:19:28,767
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE
SHOW," JAKE GYLLENHAAL!
272
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:43,715
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪
273
00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:48,554
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪
274
00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:51,557
>> Stephen: HI.
>> HEY!
275
00:19:51,623 --> 00:19:58,764
( CHEERING )
>> GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE.
276
00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:03,635
>> Stephen: NOT EVERY GUEST
COMES ON WITH THEIR OWN CUP OF
277
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,538
GUNK.
TO WHAT DO I OWE THE HONOR?
278
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:09,708
IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS?
THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO TALK
279
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,643
ABOUT.
>> THIS IS WHAT YOU MAY THINK IT
280
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,345
IS.
THIS IS SOURDOUGH STARTER.
281
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,814
>> Stephen: YOU WERE ONE OF
THE FIRST GUESTS I SPOKE TO--
282
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,483
THIS IS WHY I WANTED TO TALK
ABOUT IT.
283
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,852
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO
BRING IT.
284
00:20:20,919 --> 00:20:23,789
>> THIS COMES WHEREVER YOU GO.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
285
00:20:23,855 --> 00:20:25,824
YOU JUST TAKE THE BATCH WITH
YOU?
286
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,593
>> YEAH.
YOU WANT TO SMELL MINE.
287
00:20:27,659 --> 00:20:33,465
>> Stephen: OOOOH!
NICE AND VINEGARY THAT IS NICE.
288
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:35,667
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> Stephen: THAT SHOULD BE--
289
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:40,005
IF YOU EVER DO A COLOGNE.
EARLIER ON IN THE COVID
290
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:43,709
THINGAMAJIG, IN APRIL 2020, SO
RIGHT IN THE BEGINNING OF IT,
291
00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:46,612
YOU WERE ONE OF MY FIRST GUESTS
OVER THE ZOOM.
292
00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:49,915
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE PLANNED
TO TALK ABOUT, ABOUT ALL WE
293
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,451
TALKED ABOUT WAS TRYING TO MAKE
SOURDOUGH.
294
00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:56,221
AND I WANTED TO SHOW YOU JUST
HOW MUCH TIME WE WASTED DOING
295
00:20:56,288 --> 00:20:57,122
IT.
JIM.
296
00:20:57,189 --> 00:21:00,959
>> WHY ARE WE-- WHY ARE WE
WHISPERING?
297
00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:05,931
>> Stephen: I HAVE... I
HAVE... I HAVE SOURDOUGH RISING.
298
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:11,269
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: IT'S RESTING.
299
00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:14,239
IT'S RESTING.
>> IS THAT SOMETHING-- SOMETHING
300
00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:17,476
SOUR DO YOU HAS --
>> Stephen: SHHH!
301
00:21:17,542 --> 00:21:19,978
I UNDERSTAND.
>> IS THAT SOMETHING SOURDOUGH
302
00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:24,182
HAS TO DO?
IT HAS TO REST.
303
00:21:24,249 --> 00:21:26,351
>> Stephen: THERE'S SOME FOAM
ON THE TOP.
304
00:21:26,418 --> 00:21:29,855
NOW WHAT DO I DO?
>> OKAY, HOLD ON.
305
00:21:29,921 --> 00:21:32,224
>> Stephen: I CAN'T EAT THAT.
WHAT DO I DO?
306
00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:41,767
>> YOU GO FROM THAT TO...
TO THIS, WHICH IS RESTING.
307
00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:44,670
IT'S NOT YET READY BUT ITS ON
ITS WAY.
308
00:21:44,736 --> 00:21:47,339
>> Stephen: THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MOTIVATES
309
00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:49,775
ANYONE TO WATCH TELEVISION
ANYMORE, SO IT IS POSSIBLE THIS
310
00:21:49,841 --> 00:21:53,979
CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW IS EITHER
GETTING SUPER BOWL RATINGS, OR
311
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:56,314
PEOPLE ARE SCRAM BLIPPING FOR
THE REMOTE RIGHT NOW TO CLICK
312
00:21:56,381 --> 00:22:00,419
OVER TO ANYTHING ELSE.
>> THERE'S A VERY PARTICULAR
313
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:03,221
KIND OF AUDIENCE WHO IS
DEFINITELY INTO THIS.
314
00:22:03,288 --> 00:22:05,490
>> Stephen: WELL, WE'RE GOING
TO TEST THAT AGAIN TONIGHT.
315
00:22:05,557 --> 00:22:07,826
>> YES, WE ARE!
( APPLAUSE ).
316
00:22:07,893 --> 00:22:13,331
IS THAT I-- I TOOK YOUR EXAMPLE,
AND THIS WAS-- THIS IS WHERE I I
317
00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:15,801
ENDED UP GETTING.
LOOK AT THAT BEAUTY RIGHT THERE.
318
00:22:15,867 --> 00:22:18,003
>> OH, WOW!
>> Stephen: OH, WHAT HAPPENED
319
00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:20,172
TO YOU, DARLING?
>> OH, WOW!
320
00:22:20,238 --> 00:22:22,441
>> Stephen: WAIT.
YOU SHOULD HAVE SOME FRIENDS.
321
00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:25,544
>> OH, WOW.
DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO?
322
00:22:25,610 --> 00:22:27,846
DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO?
>> Stephen: ARE YOU STILL
323
00:22:27,913 --> 00:22:29,414
DOING THIS?
>> YEAH.
324
00:22:29,481 --> 00:22:32,350
I'M STILL DOING-- THIS IS ALIVE.
IT GETS FED EVERY SINGLE DAY.
325
00:22:32,417 --> 00:22:34,753
>> Stephen: SO IT'S
THANKSGIVING, ARE YOU GOING TO
326
00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:36,955
MAKE BREAD FOR THANKSGIVING.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR
327
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:37,889
THANKSGIVING?
DO YOU COOK?
328
00:22:37,956 --> 00:22:40,625
>> I DO COOK.
I'M GOING TO GO TO MY SISTER'S
329
00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:42,794
HOUSE, MY SISTER AND
BROTHER-IN-LAW'S HOUSE.
330
00:22:42,861 --> 00:22:44,362
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
>> AND WE'RE GOING TO GO-- WE'RE
331
00:22:44,429 --> 00:22:46,832
GOING TO COOK.
>> Stephen: WHO DOES THE
332
00:22:46,898 --> 00:22:47,866
TURKEY.
>> I DO THE TURKEY.
333
00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:50,569
>> Stephen: ARE YOU GOING TO
STUFF THE TURKEY.
334
00:22:50,635 --> 00:22:54,239
BECAUSE DANIEL CRAIG, I HAD HIM
ON THE OTHER NIGHT, AND HE
335
00:22:54,306 --> 00:22:57,809
THINKS STUFFING THE TURKEY IS
TRULY A BIZARRE ACT.
336
00:22:57,876 --> 00:23:02,013
>> WELL, I'M GOING TO SPATCHCOCK
MY TURKEY, DANIEL.
337
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,750
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY,s
WHAT?
338
00:23:04,816 --> 00:23:07,986
THIS IS CBS.
I DON'T THINK YOU CAN SAY
339
00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:09,588
"SPATCHCOCK."
>> OH, YES YOU CAN.
340
00:23:09,654 --> 00:23:14,126
I'M GOING TO SPATCHCOCK MY
TURKEY.
341
00:23:14,192 --> 00:23:15,861
>> Stephen: ARE YOU GOING TO
GRILL IT?
342
00:23:15,927 --> 00:23:24,436
>> WE HAVE-- MY BROTHER-IN-LAW
HAS A BEAUTIFUL WOOD BURNING
343
00:23:24,503 --> 00:23:27,439
OVEN.
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT --
344
00:23:27,506 --> 00:23:30,275
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW BENJAMIN
FRANKLIN?
345
00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:32,277
>> YES, OH, RIGHT.
>> Stephen: HIS STOVE.
346
00:23:32,344 --> 00:23:34,780
>> YEAH, SURE, JUST LIKE
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN.
347
00:23:34,846 --> 00:23:36,915
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU
CONTROL?
348
00:23:36,982 --> 00:23:40,552
IT MUST BE HARD TO FIND THE
RIGHT TEMPERATURE THERE?
349
00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:44,489
>> NO, I MEAN, IT'S JUST HOT.
IT'S HOT, HOTTER, AND VERY HOT,
350
00:23:44,556 --> 00:23:48,927
DON'T GET ANYWHERE NEAR IT.
IT'S SORT OF THAT, IT'S SORT OF
351
00:23:48,994 --> 00:23:53,231
COOLER TOWARDS THE INSTANCE AND
HOTTER TOWARDS THE BACKSIDE, YOU
352
00:23:53,298 --> 00:23:54,299
KNOW.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT I
353
00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:58,069
HEAR.
( APPLAUSE )
354
00:23:58,136 --> 00:24:00,372
MMM!
SPATCHCOCK IT!
355
00:24:00,438 --> 00:24:03,175
>> YUP.
>> Stephen: STUFF THAT
356
00:24:03,241 --> 00:24:05,877
SPATCHCOCK!
>> FIRST I'M GOING TO BUTTERMILK
357
00:24:05,944 --> 00:24:08,446
BRINE IT.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE GOING TO
358
00:24:08,513 --> 00:24:11,149
BUTTERMILK BRINE IT.
SALT, BUTTERMILK, 24 HOURS.
359
00:24:11,216 --> 00:24:15,554
YOU HAVE TO SCRAPE IT ALL OFF OR
ELSE IT'S NOT GOING TO BROWN.
360
00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:19,191
>> HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT.
>> Stephen: DO YOU THINK I
361
00:24:19,257 --> 00:24:22,694
HAVEN'T SPATCHCOCKED A BUTTER
MICK BRINE.
362
00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:25,030
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING
TO.
363
00:24:25,096 --> 00:24:27,966
I HEARD ABOUT THIS WOOD-FIRED
OVEN, ACTUALLY.
364
00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:29,768
MY PRODUCER TOLD ME.
I GOT YOU THIS.
365
00:24:29,835 --> 00:24:31,136
IT'S A PRECISION INFRARED
THERMOMETER BECAUSE IT CAN TELL
366
00:24:31,203 --> 00:24:34,806
YOU THE HEAT OF YOUR OVEN.
AND I WANT YOU TO USE THIS AND
367
00:24:34,873 --> 00:24:36,775
TELL ME HOW IT WORKS OUT.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THAT.
368
00:24:36,842 --> 00:24:39,811
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT I DO--
>> THIS IS SO GENEROUS.
369
00:24:39,878 --> 00:24:42,647
>> Stephen: I GIVE AND I GIVE.
>> I WANT TO SAY I'M VERY
370
00:24:42,714 --> 00:24:43,915
GRATEFUL FOR YOU.
>> Stephen: YOU WANT TO SAY
371
00:24:43,982 --> 00:24:45,717
IT?
>> I AM VERY GRATEFUL FOR YOU.
372
00:24:45,784 --> 00:24:50,422
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: IT'S HOLLYWOOD.
373
00:24:50,488 --> 00:24:53,725
I WANT TO SAY I'M A HUGE FAN.
>> I AM A HUGE FAN.
374
00:24:53,792 --> 00:24:55,794
BUT THIS IS-- THIS IS A RARE
GIFT.
375
00:24:55,861 --> 00:24:57,929
AND I REALLY WANT TO SAY THANK
YOU FOR IT.
376
00:24:57,996 --> 00:25:01,833
BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW HOW HOT
THAT STOVE IS.
377
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:04,669
AND YOU'RE GOING-- I'M GOING TO
THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN I THINK
378
00:25:04,736 --> 00:25:07,672
ABOUT POINTING IT AT THE BACK.
( LAUGHTER ).
379
00:25:07,739 --> 00:25:12,510
LITTLE BREAK.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
380
00:25:12,577 --> 00:25:14,079
JAKE GYLLENHAAL.
STICK AROUND.
381
00:25:28,627 --> 00:25:30,629
HEY, EVERYBODY!
WE'RE BACK HERE WITH JAKE
382
00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:32,430
GYLLENHAAL, AND WHATEVER IS IN
THAT CUP.
383
00:25:32,497 --> 00:25:34,933
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS
LITTLE THING RIGHT HERE.
384
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,036
THIS IS GOING TO BE HUGE.
THIS IS GOING TO BE A HUGE GIFT
385
00:25:38,103 --> 00:25:40,972
NEXT YEAR BECAUSE IT COMES OUT--
I WAS GOING TO SAY IT'S GOING TO
386
00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:46,912
BE A BIG CHRISTMAS GIFT BUT IT
COMES OUT DECEMBER 25, 2023.
387
00:25:46,978 --> 00:25:49,648
YOU CAN PREORDER.
THIS IS FOR KIDS.
388
00:25:49,714 --> 00:25:51,883
KIDS LOVE KNOWING THERE'S A
PRESENT COMING LATER.
389
00:25:51,950 --> 00:25:53,018
>> YES.
( LAUGHTER ).
390
00:25:53,084 --> 00:25:57,188
SECRET SOCIETY OF AU AUNTS AND
UNCLES.
391
00:25:57,255 --> 00:25:58,623
IT'S A BOOK THAT YOU WROTE.
>> YES.
392
00:25:58,690 --> 00:26:01,126
>> Stephen: WHAT INSPIRED YOU
TO DO THIS?
393
00:26:01,192 --> 00:26:05,397
WHAT IS THE SECRET SOCIETY?
>> THE SECRET SOCIETY OF AUNTS
394
00:26:05,463 --> 00:26:12,003
AND UNCLES ARE ONLY PLACES
AUNTS, UNCLES, NIECES AND
395
00:26:12,070 --> 00:26:15,173
NEPHEWS CAN GO AND IT'S ABOUT
THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN AUNTS
396
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:20,879
AND UNCLES AND NIECES AND NEPHEW
THEY CAN THINK THEY'RE COOL AND
397
00:26:20,946 --> 00:26:23,315
GIVE THEIR NEPHEW SOME --
>> Stephen: THINK THEY'RE
398
00:26:23,381 --> 00:26:25,684
COOL?
ARE YOU NOT COOL?
399
00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:28,386
ARE YOU NOT COOL-- DO YOU HAVE
NIECES AND NEPHEWS?
400
00:26:28,453 --> 00:26:32,457
>> I THINK I'M COOL.
I DON'T KNOW IF THEY THINK I'M
401
00:26:32,524 --> 00:26:33,391
COOL.
BUT I --
402
00:26:33,458 --> 00:26:35,026
>> Stephen: HOW OLD ARE THEY?
>> 16 AND 10.
403
00:26:35,093 --> 00:26:36,928
>> Stephen: ONE OF THEM THINKS
YOU'RE COOL.
404
00:26:36,995 --> 00:26:40,131
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: SPEAKING OF THE
405
00:26:40,198 --> 00:26:43,568
KIDS, YOU'RE IN AN NEW ANIMATED
MOVIE CALLED "STRANGE WORLD."
406
00:26:43,635 --> 00:26:48,573
>> "STRANGE WORLD."
>> Stephen: WHO ARE YOU?
407
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,409
WHO ARE YOU IN THIS STRANGE
WORLD?
408
00:26:51,476 --> 00:26:56,448
>> I PLAY IT'S A STORY ABOUT
THREE GENERATIONS OF THIS CAMLY
409
00:26:56,514 --> 00:26:58,984
CALLED THE CLADES.
AND I PLAY THE MIDDLE ONE, THE
410
00:26:59,050 --> 00:27:02,921
FATHER OF A YOUNG BOY NAMED
ETHAN, AND THE SON OF A GUY
411
00:27:02,988 --> 00:27:06,491
NAMED YEAGER.
SO I'M BOTH FATHER AND SON IN
412
00:27:06,558 --> 00:27:09,060
THE CENTER OF THIS.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP
413
00:27:09,127 --> 00:27:10,362
HERE.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON
414
00:27:10,428 --> 00:27:12,464
HERE?
>> I DO.
415
00:27:12,530 --> 00:27:15,967
I'VE BEEN ESTRANGED FROM MY
FATHER FOR 25 YEARS, AND MY SON
416
00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:19,137
AND I HAPPEN TO RUN INTO
SOMETHING, AND WE DISCOVER
417
00:27:19,204 --> 00:27:22,073
SOMETHING.
>> Stephen: IS THIS-- IS THIS
418
00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:25,343
IN THE STRANGE JOORLD WELL, ARE
WE-- YES, YES.
419
00:27:25,410 --> 00:27:27,545
>> Stephen: ARE ALL OF US IN
THE STRANGE WORLD?
420
00:27:27,612 --> 00:27:30,081
>> YES, WE ARE.
>> Stephen: IS THAT WHAT IS
421
00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:34,519
REVEALED IN THIS?
>> I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE THAT
422
00:27:34,586 --> 00:27:36,154
AWAY.
THIS IS IN THE STRANGE WORLD.
423
00:27:36,221 --> 00:27:38,390
THIS CLIP.
>> Stephen: JIM.
424
00:27:38,456 --> 00:27:53,338
( LAUGHTER )
GET BACK HERE!
425
00:27:53,405 --> 00:27:54,506
( LAUGHTER )
GET BACK HERE!
426
00:27:54,572 --> 00:28:09,454
>> OH!
♪ ♪ ♪
427
00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:15,560
>> OH!
♪ ♪ ♪
428
00:28:15,627 --> 00:28:18,763
( OUT OF BREATH )
HI, HELLO.
429
00:28:18,830 --> 00:28:23,201
I'M-- I'M A HUMAN BEING FROM THE
TOP WORLD.
430
00:28:23,268 --> 00:28:25,603
YOU PROBABLY DON'T UNDERSTAND A
WORD I'M SAYING, DO YOU?
431
00:28:25,670 --> 00:28:29,574
>> OF COURSE I UNDERSTAND YOU.
WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, ONE OF
432
00:28:29,641 --> 00:28:31,709
THOSE MINDLESS MONSTERS.
>> HUH?
433
00:28:31,776 --> 00:28:34,112
>> THAT'S RIGHT, BUB.
YOU'RE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE
434
00:28:34,179 --> 00:28:40,919
ONE, THE ONLY, JAEGER--
>> DAD!
435
00:28:40,985 --> 00:28:43,688
>> Stephen: DENNIS QUAID.
>> DENNIS QUAID.
436
00:28:43,755 --> 00:28:45,256
>> Stephen: PLAYED YOUR DAD
BEFORE.
437
00:28:45,323 --> 00:28:46,925
>> HE HAS.
SECOND TIME DENNIS QUAID AND I
438
00:28:46,991 --> 00:28:49,561
HAVE BEEN DISPAWTH SON IN A
FILM, AND SECOND TIME WE HAVEN'T
439
00:28:49,627 --> 00:28:52,730
BEEN IN PRETTY MUCH ANY SCENES
TOGETHER IN THAT FILM.
440
00:28:52,797 --> 00:28:55,233
>> Stephen: BECAUSE THE FIRST
ONE WAS "DAY AFTER TOMORROW."
441
00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:57,502
>> IT WAS.
AND THIS ONE WE DON'T ACT
442
00:28:57,569 --> 00:28:59,838
TOGETHER WHEN WE DO THE VOICE
RECORDING.
443
00:28:59,904 --> 00:29:02,140
WE ARE ALONE IN A ROOM, AND WE
ACT WITH THE DIRECTOR.
444
00:29:02,207 --> 00:29:06,311
>> Stephen: I HAVE TO ASK YOU
ONE THING ABOUT A MOVIE YOU'RE--
445
00:29:06,377 --> 00:29:12,150
YOU'RE DOING A REMAKE, REBOOT--
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT--
446
00:29:12,217 --> 00:29:17,722
OF THE 1989 CLASSIC?
CLASSIC IS A STRONG WORD.
447
00:29:17,789 --> 00:29:20,925
>> BEAUTIFUL READING.
YOU SHOULD DO VOICE WORK.
448
00:29:20,992 --> 00:29:25,663
THAT WAS-- SOMEWHERE BETWEEN A
PERIOD AND A QUESTION MARK.
449
00:29:25,730 --> 00:29:29,467
>> Stephen: "ROADHOUSE."
>> YES
450
00:29:29,534 --> 00:29:32,370
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: PATRICK SWAZEY.
451
00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:35,240
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHO ARE YOU?
452
00:29:35,306 --> 00:29:38,476
I DON'T REALLY CARE.
I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I
453
00:29:38,543 --> 00:29:43,982
AUDITIONED FOR THE 1989--
>> OH, THANK GOD, I THOUGHT YOU
454
00:29:44,048 --> 00:29:45,550
SAID FOR OURS.
I WOULD.
455
00:29:45,617 --> 00:29:48,353
>> 1989.
>> Stephen: JAMES AULDERMAN
456
00:29:48,419 --> 00:29:51,523
CASTING IN CHICAGO CALLED ME IN
TO AUDITION.
457
00:29:51,589 --> 00:29:53,525
I MIGHT HAVE EVEN GOTTEN A
CALLBACK.
458
00:29:53,591 --> 00:29:55,994
>> FOR WHO?
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW!
459
00:29:56,060 --> 00:29:57,829
IT'S HILLBILLIES AT A BAR IN
CHICAGO.
460
00:29:57,896 --> 00:30:01,733
IT'S A REALLY WEIRD COMBO.
AND I JUST WANT TO KNOW, HAVE
461
00:30:01,799 --> 00:30:03,935
YOU FINISHED SHOOTING?
>> WE FINISHED SHOOTING.
462
00:30:04,002 --> 00:30:05,370
>> Stephen: BECAUSE I WANT TO
BE IN YOUR MOVIE.
463
00:30:05,436 --> 00:30:07,238
>> WE'RE SHOOTING A LITTLE
SOMETHING IN --
464
00:30:07,305 --> 00:30:10,575
>> Stephen: YOU PICK UP SOME--
>> WE'RE DOING SOME PICKUPS IN A
465
00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:12,710
MONTH OR SO.
>> Stephen: DO YOU NEED
466
00:30:12,777 --> 00:30:17,182
SOMEBODY TO WALK BY IN THE
BACKGROUND AND GO, "I LOVE THIS
467
00:30:17,248 --> 00:30:19,918
ROADHOUSE.
THIS IS A BETTER ROADHOUSE THAN
468
00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:23,021
THE OLD ROADHOUSE."
>> I WAS ABOUT TO SAY YES UNTIL
469
00:30:23,087 --> 00:30:26,324
YOU SAID THAT.
>> Stephen: YOU COULD COACH
470
00:30:26,391 --> 00:30:27,926
ME.
>> WALK THROUGH THE BACKGROUND
471
00:30:27,992 --> 00:30:30,528
OF ROADHOUSE --
>> Stephen: I WOULD LOVE IT.
472
00:30:30,595 --> 00:30:34,399
SOMEBODY COULD PUNCH ME IN THE
FACE, TEETH LIKE CHICKLETS ALL
473
00:30:34,465 --> 00:30:36,568
OVER THE FLOOR.
>> IT IS SO FUN.
474
00:30:36,634 --> 00:30:38,503
WE DID FINISH.
THE MOVIE IS GOING TO BE SO FUN.
475
00:30:38,570 --> 00:30:40,605
YOU CAN MAKE IT FUNNER.
>> Stephen: SURE.
476
00:30:40,672 --> 00:30:43,575
>> CAN YOU BE IN IT.
>> Stephen: I MEAN, IF YOU
477
00:30:43,641 --> 00:30:44,442
INSIST.
>> WE INSIST.
478
00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:46,578
>> Stephen: YOU INSIST?
( APPLAUSE )
479
00:30:46,644 --> 00:30:51,349
HERE.
"STRANGE WORLD" IS IN THEATERS
480
00:30:51,416 --> 00:30:53,384
NOW.
JAKE GYLLENHAAL, EVERYBODY.
481
00:30:53,451 --> 00:30:56,888
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH STAR OF
"THE CROWN," ELIZABETH DEBICKI.
482
00:31:19,744 --> 00:31:21,312
HEY WELCOME BACK, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
483
00:31:21,379 --> 00:31:24,515
MY NEXT
GUEST IS AN ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM
484
00:31:24,582 --> 00:31:25,650
"THE GREAT GATSBY," "THE NIGHT
MANAGER," AND "TENET."
485
00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:30,888
SHE NOW STARS AS PRINCESS DIANA
IN "THE CROWN."
486
00:31:30,955 --> 00:31:38,429
( CHEERING ).
>> OF COURSE.
487
00:31:38,496 --> 00:31:41,532
>> WE SAW THE PICTURES OF YOU IN
ITALY.
488
00:31:41,599 --> 00:31:45,937
WELL, YOU ALL LOOK SO HAPPY.
>> IF ONLY YOU KNEW.
489
00:31:46,004 --> 00:32:00,885
IT'S HONESTLY WORSE THAN EVER.
I'M AT A LOSS FOR WHAT TO DO.
490
00:32:00,952 --> 00:32:18,136
IT'S HONESTLY WORSE THAN EVER.
I'M AT A LOSS FOR WHAT TO DO.
491
00:32:18,202 --> 00:32:18,936
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TO
492
00:32:19,003 --> 00:32:24,842
"THE LATE SHOW," ELIZABETH
DEBICKI!
493
00:32:24,909 --> 00:32:35,520
♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )
494
00:32:35,586 --> 00:32:39,223
>> HELLO.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU.
495
00:32:39,290 --> 00:32:41,225
>> NICE TO BE HERE.
>> Stephen: WE ACTUALLY HAD A
496
00:32:41,292 --> 00:32:43,061
CHANCE TO HAVE DINNER TOGETHER
ONE NIGHT.
497
00:32:43,127 --> 00:32:45,997
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER, IT
WAS MANY, MANY YEARS AGO?
498
00:32:46,064 --> 00:32:48,700
>>
>> I DO.
499
00:32:48,766 --> 00:32:52,103
>> Stephen: IT WAS AT THE MET
GALA.
500
00:32:52,170 --> 00:32:56,574
I THINK WAS IT WAS THE NEED
HIDELLSTON MET TAYLOR SWIFT.
501
00:32:56,641 --> 00:32:59,277
HE WAS ON THE DANCE FLOOR
WORKING IT.
502
00:32:59,344 --> 00:33:01,512
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: SO LOVELY TO GET A
503
00:33:01,579 --> 00:33:03,781
CHANCE TO SIT DOWN AND TALK TO
YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME.
504
00:33:03,848 --> 00:33:07,151
>> I REMEMBER DISTINCTLY TALKING
TO YOU AT THAT DINNER, BECAUSE I
505
00:33:07,218 --> 00:33:09,654
FIND THOSE THINGS QUITE
DIFFICULT AND I NEVER KNOW WHERE
506
00:33:09,721 --> 00:33:11,923
TO SIT-- THEY TELL YOU WHERE TO
SIT.
507
00:33:11,989 --> 00:33:12,857
>> Stephen: SURE, SURE, SURE.
EVERYBODY IS SO DAMN FAMOUS.
508
00:33:12,924 --> 00:33:15,593
>> AND THEY'RE SO FAMOUS AND SO
GLAMOROUS.
509
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:18,830
IT'S THE WORST VERSION OF THE
SCHOOL CAFETERIA FOR ME.
510
00:33:18,896 --> 00:33:21,999
AND YOU WERE THERE AND I-- YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE THERE AND
511
00:33:22,066 --> 00:33:25,770
IT WAS QUITE DELIGHTFUL.
NOW, YOU PLAY PRINCESS DIANA.
512
00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:28,906
TALK ABOUT SOMEONE, THE WORST
VERSION OF A SCHOOL CAFETERIA,
513
00:33:28,973 --> 00:33:32,243
PRINCESS DIANA HAD A ROUGH TIME
IN THE LUNCH ROOM.
514
00:33:32,310 --> 00:33:36,013
IN THE LATEST SEASON OF "THE
CROWN," THE RESEMBLANCE IS
515
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:39,150
REALLY UNCANNY AT TIMES-- NOT SO
MUCH RIGHT HERE, BUT WHEN YOU'RE
516
00:33:39,217 --> 00:33:42,387
IN CHARACTER, AND ESPECIALLY
WHEN YOU'RE IN WARDROBE, OF
517
00:33:42,453 --> 00:33:45,923
THINGS LIKE THIS, IT'S REALLY
EXTRAORDINARY.
518
00:33:45,990 --> 00:33:48,593
THERE'S THE REVENGE DRESS RIGHT
THERE.
519
00:33:48,659 --> 00:33:55,466
( APPLAUSE )
THERE-- WAS THERE-- YOU KNOW,
520
00:33:55,533 --> 00:34:00,271
SOME OF IT IS THE PHYSICALITY.
WAS THERE PART OF DIANA'S
521
00:34:00,338 --> 00:34:02,373
PHYSICALITY THAT WAS YOUR HOOK
OR THE PART THAT CAME EASIEST
522
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,942
FOR YOU?
>> YEAH, SOME OF IT CAME A
523
00:34:05,009 --> 00:34:07,712
LITTLE TOO EASY, WHICH IS
SLIGHTLY ALARMING.
524
00:34:07,779 --> 00:34:11,949
BUT WE HAVE AN AMAZING MOVEMENT
COACH, POLLY BENNETT, AND SHE'S
525
00:34:12,016 --> 00:34:14,218
SORT OF OUR SECRET WEAPON ON
"THE CROWN."
526
00:34:14,285 --> 00:34:17,655
SO MUCH OF THAT SHOW IS PEOPLE--
YOU GETTING AS CLOSE TO THE
527
00:34:17,722 --> 00:34:19,690
ESSENCE OR THE SPIRIT OF THE
PERSON.
528
00:34:19,757 --> 00:34:22,827
IT'S NOT REALLY AN IMPERSONATION
KIND OF JOB.
529
00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:25,830
BUT SHE'S AMAZING BECAUSE SHE
JUST MAKES A SPACE FOR YOU TO
530
00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:29,067
SORT OF EXPLORE ALL THOSE-- ALL
THOSE AREAS.
531
00:34:29,133 --> 00:34:32,370
BUT I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE A HOOK.
I KNOW SOME PEOPLE HAD HOOKS.
532
00:34:32,437 --> 00:34:35,907
BUT NOW I'M SO CLOSE TO IT-- I'M
STILL SHOOTING IT AS WELL, SO I
533
00:34:35,973 --> 00:34:40,311
THINK I'M DOING IT ALL THE TIME.
I HAVE TO SORT OF NOT DOING IT.
534
00:34:40,378 --> 00:34:42,513
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE
TROUBLE NOT BEING HER AT TIMES?
535
00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:45,416
>> NOT, NOT-- I DON'T KNOW.
( LAUGHTER ).
536
00:34:45,483 --> 00:34:47,518
CHARACTER RIGHT NOW?
>> YES, I AM.
537
00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:49,587
>> Stephen: WHO AM I TALKING
TO?
538
00:34:49,654 --> 00:34:51,389
AM I TALKING TO PRINCESS DIANA
RIGHT NOW?
539
00:34:51,456 --> 00:34:52,957
>> YOU ARE.
NO, NO, NO.
540
00:34:53,024 --> 00:34:55,293
>> Stephen: I LOVE YOUR
CHARITY WORK.
541
00:34:55,359 --> 00:34:57,962
( LAUGHTER )
I'VE HEARD YOU TALK ABOUT
542
00:34:58,029 --> 00:35:04,001
THERE'S A CONNECTION IN YOUR
PAST MOVIES, LIKE SOME REALLY
543
00:35:04,068 --> 00:35:09,474
TREMENDOUS PERFORMANCES.
SO HERE YOU ARE IN CAN THE THE
544
00:35:09,540 --> 00:35:12,910
NIGHT MANAGER" THERE WITH HUGH
LAURIE.
545
00:35:12,977 --> 00:35:20,651
HERE YOU ARE, YOU'RE PLAYING--
KENNETH BRANAGH'S WIFE IN THE--
546
00:35:20,718 --> 00:35:24,622
IN "TENET."
AND HERE YOU ARE IN "THE CROWN."
547
00:35:24,689 --> 00:35:27,391
WHAT IS THE COMMON THREAD HERE,
AS YOU DESCRIBED?
548
00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:33,297
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: UH... YES.
549
00:35:33,364 --> 00:35:37,335
>> AND GLASSES.
NO, I'VE CORNERED THE MARKET FOR
550
00:35:37,401 --> 00:35:40,238
SAD PEOPLE ON BOATS.
( LAUGHTER )
551
00:35:40,304 --> 00:35:44,342
I DON'T KNOW HOW I DID THAT!
I DON'T KNOW HOW I DID IT.
552
00:35:44,408 --> 00:35:48,479
THE FIRST TIME I WAS EVER ON A
FANCY BOAT WAS WITH HUGH.
553
00:35:48,546 --> 00:35:50,281
>> Stephen: RIGHT HERE, THIS
ONE?
554
00:35:50,348 --> 00:35:54,252
>> AND I THINK PEOPLE SAW IT AND
THOUGHT, "SHE'S GREAT ON A BOAT.
555
00:35:54,318 --> 00:35:57,255
PUT HER ON MORE BOATS."
>> Stephen: IN "TENET,"
556
00:35:57,321 --> 00:36:01,993
THERE'S A HUGE DIVE YOUR
CHARACTER DOES ON THE BACK OF A
557
00:36:02,059 --> 00:36:02,793
MEGAYACHT.
IS THAT YOU?
558
00:36:02,860 --> 00:36:04,695
>> NO.
>> Stephen: DID YOU VOLUNTEER?
559
00:36:04,762 --> 00:36:06,998
DID THEY STOP YOU FROM DOING IT?
>> NO, I WOULD NEVER.
560
00:36:07,064 --> 00:36:10,801
IT'S SO HIGH.
THEY DID FILM ME DIVING OFF THAT
561
00:36:10,868 --> 00:36:13,571
LITTLE BOAT, AND IT WAS SO BAD
THEY DIDN'T USE IT.
562
00:36:13,638 --> 00:36:15,873
IN THE OTHER ONE --
>> Stephen: IN THIS ONE?
563
00:36:15,940 --> 00:36:20,611
DID YOU DO A CANNONBALL.
>> WHAT DID YOU DO?
564
00:36:20,678 --> 00:36:26,017
NO, I TRIED TO HARD, AND CHRIS
NOLLEN SAID ON THE DAY OF, JUST
565
00:36:26,083 --> 00:36:28,686
DIVE IN.
HE SAID, "YOU'RE INDUSTRIALIAN,
566
00:36:28,753 --> 00:36:32,089
JUST DIVE IN."
>> Stephen: WHAT DOES THAT
567
00:36:32,156 --> 00:36:34,358
MEAN?
"YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN.
568
00:36:34,425 --> 00:36:37,361
WRESTLE A CROCODILE."
>> SO THAT WASN'T ME, NO.
569
00:36:37,428 --> 00:36:40,965
>> Stephen: PUNCH A KANGAROO.
I UNDERSTAND ONE OF MY FAVORITE
570
00:36:41,032 --> 00:36:47,705
PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, A RECENT
GUEST HERE, THE ICONIC CATE
571
00:36:47,772 --> 00:36:50,641
BLANCHETT IS A MENTOR OF YOURS.
HOW AND WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?
572
00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:58,749
>> WELL, THAT WAS-- I DID A PLAY
WITH CATE WHEN I WAS 20... 2.
573
00:36:58,816 --> 00:37:01,519
AND IT WAS MY SECOND-EVER JOB,
AND IT WAS IN SYDNEY.
574
00:37:01,586 --> 00:37:05,222
>> Stephen: YOUR SECOND GIG
EVER IS A PLAY WITH CATE
575
00:37:05,289 --> 00:37:06,824
BLARCHET?
>> I KNOW.
576
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,626
SO STRANGE.
>> Stephen: AS SOMEONE WHO WAS
577
00:37:08,693 --> 00:37:12,096
A YOUNG, STRUGGLING ACTOR, I
DON'T LIKE YOU.
578
00:37:12,163 --> 00:37:15,399
MY SECOND GIG WAS NOT WITH CATE
BLANCHETT.
579
00:37:15,466 --> 00:37:22,106
I PROMISE YOU.
>> IT WAS WITH CATE BLARCHET AND
580
00:37:22,173 --> 00:37:26,777
A VERSION "THE MAIDS."
CATE WAS RUNNING THE COMPANY
581
00:37:26,844 --> 00:37:30,648
WITH ANDREW AT THE TIME.
I HAD DONE "GATSBY" PROBABLY
582
00:37:30,715 --> 00:37:34,719
ABOUT A YEAR BEFORE AND IT TOOK
A LONG TIME FOR THE FILM TO COME
583
00:37:34,785 --> 00:37:36,787
OUT.
>> Stephen: "GATSBY" WAS YOUR
584
00:37:36,854 --> 00:37:38,122
FIRST GIG!
>> THAT'S NOT TRUE.
585
00:37:38,189 --> 00:37:42,259
I HAD TWO LINES IN A SMALL
AUSTRALIAN FILM CALLED "A FEW
586
00:37:42,326 --> 00:37:45,730
BEST MEN," AND I SPEND THE
ENTIRE MOVIE LOOKING FOR SHEEP.
587
00:37:45,796 --> 00:37:47,932
BUT I WAS SO HAPPY BECAUSE I
DIDN'T HAVE ANY MONEY.
588
00:37:47,999 --> 00:37:51,235
AND I THOUGHT THIS IS GREAT.
I BOUGHT A LAPTOP, I PAID MY
589
00:37:51,302 --> 00:37:53,571
RENT.
ACTUALLY, IT WAS MY THIRD JOB
590
00:37:53,638 --> 00:37:55,673
WITH CATE.
>> Stephen: FOR YOUR SECOND
591
00:37:55,740 --> 00:38:02,513
GIG-- I'M GETTINGANG RIER-- YOUR
SECOND GIG WAS "THE GREAT
592
00:38:02,580 --> 00:38:05,216
GATSBY."
DID YOU AUDITION DOWN UNDER OR
593
00:38:05,282 --> 00:38:07,485
DID YOU ACTUALLY COME TO THE
UNITED STATES FOR THAT?
594
00:38:07,551 --> 00:38:10,955
>> I CAME TO THE STATES.
I HAD NEVER BEEN TO AMERICA
595
00:38:11,022 --> 00:38:15,059
BEFORE.
AND I JUST FINISHED DRAMA, I WAS
596
00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:16,494
20.
I DID A SCREEN TEST IN
597
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:20,164
AUSTRALIA, AND I DIDN'T-- IT
WAS, LIKE, MY FIRST SCREEN TEST
598
00:38:20,231 --> 00:38:24,769
SO I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT.
WE DIDN'T DO ANY FILM AND TV
599
00:38:24,835 --> 00:38:25,670
TRAINING.
IT WAS VERY MUCH A THEATER
600
00:38:25,736 --> 00:38:27,438
SCHOOL.
I GOT VERY, VERY NERVOUS.
601
00:38:27,505 --> 00:38:31,442
AND I REMEMBER THE LOVELY READER
OPPOSITE ME, HE WAS READING SO,
602
00:38:31,509 --> 00:38:33,744
SO FAST.
AND I THOUGHT IS THAT WHAT YOU
603
00:38:33,811 --> 00:38:36,514
DO IN FILM AND TV?
YOU HAVE TO TALK SO FAST?
604
00:38:36,580 --> 00:38:40,384
ANYWAY, I THOUGHT IT WAS
DIABOLICAL.
605
00:38:40,451 --> 00:38:44,855
SOMEONE SUNDAY IT TO BASS'
PEOPLE, AND THE BEAUTIFUL
606
00:38:44,922 --> 00:38:48,859
RUNNER, THE WONDERFUL CASTING
AGENT SOMEHOW FISHED IT OUT AND
607
00:38:48,926 --> 00:38:51,562
DOESN'T TO HIM.
THE THE FIRST TIME I EVER SAW
608
00:38:51,629 --> 00:38:55,533
HIM-- I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER
TOLD ANYONE THIS STORY-- I FIRST
609
00:38:55,599 --> 00:39:00,037
TIME I EVER SAW HIM HE ASKED A
LOVELY MAKEUP ARTIST TO COME TO
610
00:39:00,104 --> 00:39:02,306
MY ROOM TO DO MY MAKEUP FOR THE
SCREEN TEST.
611
00:39:02,373 --> 00:39:05,309
I HAD NEVER HAD MY MAKEUP DONE
BEFORE SO I THOUGHT THAT WAS
612
00:39:05,376 --> 00:39:07,645
KIND OF BIZARRE.
WHILE THIS LOVELY GENTLEMAN WAS
613
00:39:07,712 --> 00:39:11,782
DOING MY FACE, I HEARD THIS
KNOCK ON THE DOOR IN THE HOTEL.
614
00:39:11,849 --> 00:39:15,753
AND I THOUGHT WHO IS THAT?
SO I WENT UP TO THE DOOR AND I
615
00:39:15,820 --> 00:39:21,525
LOOK IN THE LITTLE PEEP HOLE,
AND THERE'S BASLAM, HIS EYEBALL,
616
00:39:21,592 --> 00:39:24,195
STARING AT ME.
AND HE PUFORT IN,s AND THERE
617
00:39:24,261 --> 00:39:29,600
WERE THESE DRESSES-- HE SORT OF
IS SO MUCH LIKE HIS FILM, HIS
618
00:39:29,667 --> 00:39:31,802
ENERGY, IN LIFE.
THAT WAS MY AUDITION FOR THAT.
619
00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:33,971
>> Stephen: SO LOVELY TO SEE
YOU, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
620
00:39:34,038 --> 00:39:34,772
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: SEASON FIVE OF "THE
621
00:39:34,839 --> 00:39:36,674
CROWN" IS STREAMING NOW ON
NETFLIX.
622
00:39:36,741 --> 00:39:39,176
ELIZABETH DEBICKI, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
623
00:40:01,065 --> 00:40:02,433
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE
LATE SHOW."
624
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:05,870
HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYBODY!
JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
625
00:40:05,936 --> 00:40:06,704
GOOD NIGHT!