>> A FEDERAL JURY FOUND OATH
KEEPERS FOUNDER, STEWART RHODES, GUILTY OF SEDITIOUS CONSPIRACY.
RHOADES WAS CONVICTED FOR HIS PART IN THE VIOLENT JANUARY 6
ASSAULT ON THE CAPITOL AND HIS FAILED PLOT TO OVERTURN THE 2020
ELECTION. >> STEWART RHODES IS THE GUY
WITH THE EYE PATCH THAT COMES FROM AN INCIDENT WHEN HE
ACCIDENTALLY SHOT OUT HIS OWN EYE.
HE'S THE LEADER OF THE FAR-RIGHT OATH KEEPERS' GROUP.
( "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS" THEME
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
TONIGHT: PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES:
TREASURY SECRETARY JANET YELLEN AND ROB DELANEY.
FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND THE
LATE SHOW BAND.
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: I GOT YOU.
I GOT YOU. ALL RIGHT.
WATCH OUT FOR HIM. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THIS ONE.
HAPPY WEDNESDAY. >> Audience: STEPHEN!
STEPHEN! STEPHEN!
>> Stephen: HELLO! >> Louis: YOU CAN FEEL IT.
YOU CAN FEEL IT. ( APPLAUSE )
IN HERE, UP THERE, OUT THERE, TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. AND, FOLKS, I AM FEELING, I
GOTTA SAY PRETTY DARN GOOD, AND I FEEL A LITTLE BAD ABOUT THAT,
BECAUSE I FEEL GREAT ABOUT SOMEBODY GOING TO PRISON.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT THAT.
THE LORD SAYS NO. YESTERDAY, IN A TRIAL OVER THE
HORRIFIC EVENTS OF JANUARY 6th, THE FOUNDER OF THE OATH KEEPERS,
STEWART RHODES, WAS FOUND GUILTY OF SEDITIOUS CONSPIRACY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S A BIG ONE.
THAT IS A BIG ONE. THAT'S INSURRECTION WITH A
CREAMY CENTER RIGHT THERE. RIGHT THERE.
RHODES WAS ALSO FOUND GUILTY OF OTHER BAD STUFF, WHICH IS WHY HE
IS NOW FACING A MAXIMUM OF 60 YEARS IN PRISON.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S A LONG STRETCH.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, BY 2082, THE HIP NEW LOOK MIGHT BE
STEAMPUNK COWBOY PIRATE. ( LAUGHTER )
NOW, WHEN YOU HEAR THE NAME "OATH KEEPERS" AND THE EYE PATCH
MAKES IT SEEM LIKE RHODES IS SOME SORT OF, LIKE, HEROIC
FREEDOM REBEL. IN REALITY, HE'S A DISBARRED
YALE LAW GRAD WHO WEARS AN EYE PATCH AFTER ACCIDENTALLY
SHOOTING HIMSELF IN THE FACE WITH HIS OWN GUN.
( LAUGHTER ) ( LAUGHTER )
THAT'S LIKE-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IT'S EMBARRASSING, IS WHAT IT IS.
THAT'S LIKE FINDING OUT RAMBO WEARS THAT HEADBAND TO COVER UP
HIS LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE TATTOO. THIS CONVICTION IS A HUGE DEAL.
IT MARKS THE FIRST TIME THAT A JURY HAS DECIDED THAT THE
JANUARY 6 VIOLENCE WAS THE PRODUCT OF AN ORGANIZED
CONSPIRACY. WELL, YEAH!
( APPLAUSE ) ORGANIZED.
I DON'T REMEMBER ANY HEADLINES THAT SAID, "CAPITOL MEET-CUTE
GETS OUT OF HAND." ( LAUGHTER )
RHODES IS SUCH A SCUMBAG, EVEN HIS ESTRANGED WIFE CHIMED IN,
SAYING THAT THE CONVICTION IS THE FIRST TIME RHODES HAS EVER
FACED CONSEQUENCES. ( APPLAUSE )
DAMMN! THAT IS WHAT YOU CALL "WINNING
THE BREAKUP." ( LAUGHTER )
LAST NIGHT, THE SENATE VOTED TO PASS THE "RESPECT FOR MARRIAGE
ACT," WHICH-- ( APPLAUSE ).
ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS. >> Louis: LET'S GO.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE. I LIKE DOING THE MONOLOGUE
TONIGHT. IT'S PLEASANT.
THE "RESPECT FOR MARRIAGE ACT," WHICH WOULD ENSHRINE MARRIAGE
EQUALITY IN FEDERAL LAW. THIS IS AN INCREDIBLE MOMENT.
I FEEL SO PROUD TO LIVE IN A COUNTRY WHERE ANYONE,
REGARDLESS OF THEIR SEXUALITY, CAN DISAGREE FOR DECADES ABOUT
THE RIGHT WAY TO LOAD A DISHWASHER!
( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S JUST WASHING THE DISHES
BEFORE THEY GO IN THE DISH WASHER.
DON'T WASH THEM. THAT'S THE THING THE DISHWASHER
WENT TO COLLEGE FOR! THE BILL PASSED IN A 61-36 VOTE,
WITH 12 REPUBLICANS JOINING DEMOCRATS TO VOTE FOR IT.
WOW. ( APPLAUSE )
NO WONDER MARRIAGE EQUALITY WON. EVEN THE PARTISAN SUPPORT WAS
BI! THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
NOW, I'M SURE A LOT OF YOU ARE SAYING, "HEY, STEVE, DON'T WE
ALREADY HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAME-SEX MARRIAGE?"
YEAH, BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE WORRIED WE MIGHT LOSE THAT RIGHT
THANKS TO THE LEGION OF DUMB. AFTER THE CONSERVATIVES ON THE
COURT OVERTURNED "ROE V. WADE," THE NEXT LOGICAL STEP THAT MANY
CONSERVATIVES WERE CALLING FOR IS TO OVERTURN OBERGEFELL.
HENCE, THE URGENCY TO PASS THIS BILL.
AND TO GET REPUBLICAN SUPPORT, THE BILL HAD TO WALK A FINE
LINE. SO IT WON'T FORCE ALL STATES TO
ISSUE MARRIAGE LICENSES TO SAME- SEX COUPLES.
INSTEAD, IT WOULD REQUIRE THAT PEOPLE BE CONSIDERED MARRIED IN
ANY STATE AS LONG AS THE MARRIAGE WAS VALID IN THE STATE
WHERE IT WAS PERFORMED. IN OTHER WORDS, IF YOU GET
MARRIED IN MASSACHUSETTS AND THEN MOVE TO FLORIDA, NO ONE CAN
QUESTION THE VALIDITY OF YOUR MARRIAGE.
OKAY. ( APPLAUSE )
BUT THEY CAN QUESTION WHY YOU MOVED TO FLORIDA.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT THE BILL DOES REPEAL THE
1996 DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT. SO THAT OLD THING IS GONE.
AS ONE PROMINENT LAWMAKER TOLD THE DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT:
>> "SASHAY AWAY." >> Stephen: THANK YOU, THANK
YOU, SENATOR RU. IT'S BEEN A REALLY BAD WEEK FOR
THE FORMER PRESIDENT, BECAUSE HE'S STILL GETTING FLAK OVER HIS
DINNER LAST TUESDAY WITH KANYE WEST AND WHITE NATIONALIST
ANTI-SEMITE NICK FUENTES. THE FORMER PRESIDENT IS
NOW SCRAMBLING TO DO DAMAGE CONTROL, SO HE WENT TO FOX NEWS.
NOW NORMALLY WE WOULD RUN FOOT ANNUAL OF THAT, BUT WE DON'T
HAVE ANY FOOT ANNUAL OF THAT. BECAUSE THEY ONLY LET HIM TALK
TO foxnews.com. EVEN THEIR CAMERAS ARE
UNWILLING TO BE SEEN ON CAMERA WITH HIM RIGHT NOW.
THE FORMER PRESIDENT TOLD THE WEBSITE,
HE HAD "NEVER HEARD" OF FUENTES BEFORE THE DINNER, ADDING,
"I HAD NO IDEA WHAT HIS VIEWS WERE."
YOU KNOW, I MIGHT HAVE BELIEVED THAT SIX YEARS AGO, IF THIS WAS
THE FIRST TIME YOU PLAYED FOOTSIE WITH WHITE
SUPREMACISTS, BUT IT'S HAPPENED A LOT.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: IF IT FLIES LIKE A DUCK
AND QUACKS LIKE A DUCK, BUT IT GOOSE-STEPS, YOU GOT YOURSELF A
NAZI DUCK. ( LAUGHTER )
ALL RIGHT. THAT'S-- THAT'S JUST LOGIC,
BABY. >> Louis: THAT'S SIMPLE LOGIC.
>> Stephen: THAT'S MATH. THE BLOWBACK WAS SO BAD, THAT TO
PREVENT FUTURE MEETINGS WITH WHITE SUPREMACISTS, THE FORMER
PRESIDENT'S TEAM HAS A NEW RULE: THIS IS TRUE-- THAT A SEIZ
OFFICIAL NEEDS TO BE WITH THE FORMER PRESIDENT AT ALL TIMES.
YES, IT'S SO IMPORTANT, THEY NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT THE
FORMER PRESIDENT NOT BE LEFT ALONE WITH A WHITE SUPREMACIST.
THE TRICK IS GONNA BE FINDING A WAY TO KEEP HIM OUT OF ANY ROOM
THAT HE'S IN. ( LAUGHTER )
DOWN IN GEORGIA-- ( APPLAUSE )
THAT JOKE'S A CHIN STROKER. DOWN IN GEORGIA, THEY'RE GETTING
CLOSE TO THE BIG SENATE RUNOFF ELECTION BETWEEN HERSCHEL WALKER
AND RAPHAEL WARNOCK. SO FAR, IT'S KICKED OFF WITH A
REAL BANG, BECAUSE ON MONDAY, VOTERS IN GEORGIA BROKE THEIR
RECORD FOR THE MOST BALLOTS CAST IN A SINGLE DAY DURING EARLY
VOTING. YET ANOTHER RECORD.
( APPLAUSE ) VOTE, VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!
YET ANOTHER NEW RECORD FOR HERSCHEL WALKER'S RESUME!
ALONG WITH HIS COLLEGE RUSHING YARDS RECORD, PLANNED PARENTHOOD
REWARDS POINTS, AND RECORD NUMBER OF NICKELS ACCIDENTALLY
SWALLOWED. ( LAUGHTER )
BOTH CANDIDATES ARE OUT CAMPAIGNING UP A STORM, BUT
WALKER'S SPEECHES ARE ESPECIALLY NOTABLE, BECAUSE THEY ARE
INSANE. ( LAUGHTER )
CASE FOR A BORDER WALL. >> I'M GONNA SECURE THIS BORDER.
THEY SAID, "HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT?"
I SAID THE WAY I CAN DO IT IS PUT UP A WALL, A WALL DO WORK.
WALLS WORK AROUND YOUR HOUSE. WHEN YOU GOT A WALL AROUND
YOUR HOUSE PEOPLE DON'T-- YEAH, BUT THEY CAN GET IN.
BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY GET IN, IT WOULD BE HARD TO
GET OUT, BECAUSE I GOT A DOG THAT-- WELL, MY DOG REALLY WON'T
BITE. ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: THEY'RE-- THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO UPDATE THAT CHANT:
"BUILD THE WALL! ADD A DOG!
ONE THAT BITES? MAYBE NOT!"
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
IF VOTERS SEND WALKER HOME, HE MIGHT HAVE A HARD TIME FINDING
WHERE THAT IS, BECAUSE WHILE WE KNEW THAT WALKER HAS MULTIPLE
HOMES, JUST THIS WEEK, WE LEARNED THAT HE'S CLAIMED HIS
HOME IN TEXAS AS HIS PRIMARY RESIDENCE TO GET A TAX BREAK.
NOT GREAT FOR A WOULD-BE SENATOR FROM GEORGIA.
BUT UNLIKE HIS OTHER SCANDALS, WALKER'S BEEN REFRESHINGLY
HONEST ABOUT IT. HERE HE IS IN JANUARY:
>> EVERYONE ASKS ME WHY DID I DECIDE TO RUN FOR A SENATE SEAT
AS I WAS SITTING IN MY HOME IN TEXAS, AND I WAS SITTING IN MY
HOME IN TEXAS, AND I WAS SEEING WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THIS
COUNTRY, I TELL PEOPLE TO STOP FOR A MOMENT AND LOOK.
YO, I LIVE IN TEXAS. ( LAUGHTER )
AND SAID IT! IT'S THE MOST DISQUALIFYING
CAMPAIGN CONFESSION SINCE HERBERT HOOVER'S 1928 SLOGAN:
"I SHOVED A NUN DOWN A WELL!" ( LAUGHTER )
WHO AREN'T FROM THE STATE THEY RUN FOR OFFICE IN, LOSING
REPUBLICAN AND GUY WHO FELL INTO THE GORILLA ENCLOSURE AND IS
TRYING HIS BEST TO BLEND IN, DR. MEHMET OZ.
EVER SINCE OZ GOT HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM BY JOHN FETTERMAN, HE'S
BEEN TRYING-- ( APPLAUSE )
IT'S NEVER TOO IT'S TOO SOON TO ENJOY THAT AGAIN.
HE'S BEEN TRYING TO GET HIS OLD TV JOB BACK.
UNFORTUNATELY FOR OZ, HIS FORMER PRODUCERS REPORTEDLY WON'T TALK
TO HIM. HE'S SO TOXIC THAT HE COULDN'T
EVEN INTEREST PARAMOUNT+ IN HIS DR. OZ PREQUEL:
"YOUNG MEHMET." ( LAUGHTER )
ONE REASON PRODUCERS DON'T WANT OZ BACK IS BECAUSE THE TV FOLKS
BELIEVE "THE CAMPAIGN BADLY DAMAGED OZ'S REPUTATION."
AND THAT'S NO SMALL FEAT, CONSIDERING THAT BEFORE HE RAN,
HIS REPUTATION WAS DOCTOR WHO SAYS, "IF YOU HAVE MORE THAN
200 ORGASMS A YEAR, YOU CAN REDUCE YOUR PHYSIOLOGIC AGE BY
SIX YEARS." OKAY.
LOOKS LIKE YOUR SECRET IS OUT, PAUL RUDD.
( LAUGHTER ) TURNING TO-- 200.
200. IS THAT ALL?
TURNING TO THE WORLD OF RELIGION, MANY FAITHS AROUND THE
WORLD BELIEVE THAT WITH TIME, PRAYER, AND MEDITATION ONE CAN
ACHIEVE A STATE OF RELIGIOUS ECSTASY.
BUT SOME FOLKS WANT A SHORTCUT, LIKE IN THAILAND, WHERE A
BUDDHIST TEMPLE HAS BEEN LEFT WITHOUT ANY MONKS AFTER THEY ALL
TESTED POSITIVE FOR METH. AS THE ENLIGHTENED ONE HIMSELF
SAID, "HOW DO I STAY SO FAT ON THIS MUCH CRANK?"
( LAUGHTER ) TONIGHT.
MY GUESTS ARE SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY, JANET YELLEN, AND
COMEDIAN ROB DELANEY. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, IT'S
"MEANWHILE!" JOIN US, WON'T YOU.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO AND THE
LATE SHOW BAND. YEAH.
( APPLAUSE ) HEY, LOUIS, WE HAVE FANTASTIC
GUESTS TONIGHT, WE'VE GOT-- AND NOT EVERY LATE-NIGHT SHOW GETS
TO SAY THIS: TONIGHT WE HAVE TREASURY SECRETARY JANET YELLEN
IS GOING TO BE HERE. ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: I'LL ALSO SAY THIS, I'LL ALSO SAY THIS-- THIS
IS RAY COMPLIMENT TO YOU PEOPLE-- NOT EVERY LATE-NIGHT
AUDIENCE WOULD BE THAT EXCITED TO HEAR THAT THE TREASURY
SECRETARY IS HERE. WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE
WHOLE THING. WE'RE GOING TO FIX THE ECONOMY.
WE'RE GOING TO LAUGH, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE FUN.
WE'RE GOING TO FIX THE ECONOMY. IT'S HAPPENING TONIGHT.
YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT THE INTEREST RATE TO BE, AND I'LL
MAKE IT HAPPEN TONIGHT. .
AND THEN WE ALSO HAVE COMEDIAN ROB DELANEY IS HERE.
HE'S GOT A BRAND-NEW BOOK. >> Louis: IT'S REALLY, REALLY
GOOD. >> Stephen: ARE WE DOING THIS
THING? ARE WE GOING STRAIGHT INTO THIS
THING? ARE WE DOING THIS?
FOLKS, YOU KNOW I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME RIGHT OVER THERE,
EXCAVATING THE NEWS MINES FOR THE PUREST STORY COPPER AND
ZINC, SMELTING IT INTO A TOPICAL GOLD BRASS, THEN HAND-SHAPING A
FLARED 5.75" BELL WITH SHEET-BRACED TUBING, A
WIDE-RADIUS TUNING SLIDE, AND A THREADED INTEGRAL MOUTHPIECE TO
CREATE FOR YOU THE EXQUISITE MONETTE RAJNA B-FLAT TRUMPET
THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE. BUT SOMETIMES, JUST SOMETIMES,
FOLKS-- THIS MAN KNOWS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT OVER THERE!
SOMETIMES, I AM DISGORGED UNCONSCIOUS FROM A SPILLWAY NEAR
A DEFUNCT CONSTRUCTION SITE, RIP THE GAS NOZZLE OUT OF AN
ABANDONED AMBULANCE, JAM IT INTO AN OLD OIL DRUM AND SLAP ON A
MOUTHPIECE MADE OUT OF A TOILET PAPER ROLL, THEN MARCH THROUGH
SOMEONE'S WEDDING HONKING THE MAKESHIFT DOOM-TUBA OF NEWS THAT
IS MY SEGMENT: >> MEANWHILE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS.
THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS RIGHT THERE.
MEANWHILE, "THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS" AMED THIS
26-YEAR-OLD CAT THE OLDEST FELINE IN THE WORLD.
BUT SHE STILL HAS THE PERSONALITY OF A KITTEN.
OOOH! THAT'S SWEET, BUT IT'S ALWAYS
SAD TO ME WHEN OLDSTERS TRY TO ACT YOUNG, YOU GET ME FAM?
NO CAP. ZENDAYA.
MEANWHILE, I'M SURE WE'RE ALL ABSOLUTELY GLUED TO THE MAJOR
INTERNATIONAL COMPETITION TAKING PLACE RIGHT NOW IN QATAR.
OF COURSE, I'M TALKIN' ABOUT THE "CAMEL BEAUTY WORLD CUP"!
HEY, I DON'T MEAN TO OBJECTIFY, BUT I'M NOT GONNA PRETEND THEY
AREN'T EASY ON THE EYES. ( LAUGHTER )
SMOKE-SHOWS OUT OF BED FOR REGURGITATING ITS CUD.
AND THE JUDGES TAKE THIS VERY SERIOUSLY.
APPARENTLY, THEY USE X-RAYS TO CHECK THAT THE ANIMALS HAVE NOT
HAD ANY SURGICAL ENHANCEMENTS. A SAD NECESSITY AFTER THAT
INFAMOUS PLASTIC SURGERY SCANDAL.
( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE-- MMM.
MMM. MEANWHILE, IN AN EFFORT TO
DESTIGMATIZE THE DISEASE, THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION
HAS RENAMED MONKEYPOX "MPOX." ( LAUGHTER )
YOU CAN'T JUST K.F.C. THIS THING.
IT'S NOT LIKE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE "M" STANDS FOR.
THAT'S LIKE WHEN THE WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM BRIEFLY CHANGED
THEIR NAME TO "THE WASHINGTON YOU-KNOW-WHATS."
( LAUGHTER ) MILLIONS OF AMERICANS ARE
CATCHING ONE OF THREE VIRUSES: COVID 19, THE FLU, AND R.S.V.,
WHICH THEY'RE CALLING A TRIPLEDEMIC.
SO I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS: SICK.
( LAUGHTER ) "ZOMBIE VIRUS" HAS BEEN REVIVED
AFTER 50,000 YEARS TRAPPED IN THE SIBERIAN PERMAFROST.
HEY, SCIENCE, I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU STUDY NEXT: WHY THE
(BLEEP) YOU WOULD DO THAT. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS ) THE ANCIENT DISEASE IS WHAT'S
KNOWN AS A "PANDORAVIRUS"-- NAMED FOR THAT GREEK STORY ABOUT
THE BOX THEY OPENED AND EVERYTHING WENT GREAT.
( LAUGHTER ) SUING THE MAKER OF VELVEETA'S
MICROWAVABLE MAC & CHEESE CUPS-- NOT, AS I ASSUMED,
BECAUSE IT WAS JUST TOO TASTY AND NUTRITIOUS.
NO, IT'S BECAUSE THE PACKAGING SAYS "READY IN THREE AND A HALF
MINUTES," BUT IT DOES NOT INCLUDE STEPS SUCH AS TEARING
OFF THE LID, ADDING WATER, AND STIRRING IN THE CHEESE SAUCE.
THAT ADDS AT LEAST 15-20 SECONDS, AND THAT'S TIME SHE
COULD SPEND SUING HER FAMILY. IN EXCHANGE FOR THOSE LOST
SECONDS, THE WOMAN IS ASKING FOR MORE THAN $5 MILLION IN DAMAGES.
THAT'S A LOT OF CHEDDAR... IS SOMETHING NO ONE HAS EVER
SAID ABOUT VELVEETA. ( LAUGHTER )
SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY, JANET YELLEN.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
♪♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ) WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW"!
FOLKS, MY FIRST GUEST THIS EVENING IS THE ONLY PERSON IN
AMERICAN HISTORY TO HAVE LED THE WHITE HOUSE COUNCIL OF ECONOMIC
ADVISORS, THE FEDERAL RESERVE, AND THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT.
PLEASE WELCOME TREASURY SECRETARY JANET YELLEN!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: NICE TO HAVE YOU. >> THANK YOU FOR THE INVITATION.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A LATE-NIGHT SHOW BEFORE?
>> I'VE NEVER BEEN. >> Stephen: YOU'RE GOING TO
LOVE IT. IT'S GREAT.
YOU'VE BEEN CALLED A JEANNEEROUS EXPLAINING ARGUMENTS SIMPLY AND
CLEARLY. YOU HAVEN'T SAID THIS YOURSELF.
CAN YOU EXPLAIN HOW INFLATION GOT SO HIGH BECAUSE TWO YEARS
AGO, EVERYTHING SEEMED FINE, EVEN IN 2021, YOU AND OTHER
MEMBERS OF THE ADMINISTRATION BELIEVED THAT INFLATION WAS A
SMALL RISK. WHAT HAPPENED, SIMPLY AND
CLEARLIY? ( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: THAT IS, YEAH. >> SO, WE HAD RAPID RECOVERY
FROM THE PANDEMIC. WHEN PRESIDENT BIDEN WAS
ELECTED, UNEMPLOYMENT WAS QUITE HIGH.
IT WAS CLOSE TO 7%. AND WE PUT POLICIES IN PLACE
THAT GENERATED A VERY RAPID RECOVERY.
UNEMPLOYMENT QUICKLY FELL BACK INTO THE THREEs.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT NOW? WHAT IS IT NOW?
>> 3.7. SO NORMALLY YOU WOULDN'T EXPECT,
JUST BECAUSE YOU HAD A RAPID RECOVERY, FOR INFLATION TO RISE
VERY MUCH, IF AT ALL. BUT IT TURNED OUT THE PANDEMIC
HAD VERY SPECIAL IMPACTS ON THE ECONOMY.
REMEMBER, EVERYBODY STOPPED SPENDING ON SERVICES.
THEY WERE IN THEIR HOMES FOR A YEAR OR MORE.
THEY WANTED TO BUY GRILLS AND OFFICE FURNITURE.
THEY WERE WORKING FROM HOME. THEY SUDDENLY STARTED SPLURGING
ON GOODS, BUYING TECHNTECHNOLOGU KNOW, SUDDENLY WORKING THROUGH
TECHNOLOGY. AND BOTTLENECKS STARTED
DEVELOPING WHERE SUPPLY, IN PARTICULAR IMPORTANT SECTORS OF
THE ECONOMY, JUST COULDN'T KEEP UP WITH DEMAND.
>> Stephen: AMAZON, JPMORGAN, MET TA, DISNEY, PARAMOUNT--
THEY'VE ALL DONE BIG CUTS IN ANTICIPATION OF A RECESSION.
ONE DOESN'T SEEM TO HAVE SHOWN UP YET.
WHO IS RIGHT? ARE WE HEADED FOR A RECESSION?
YOUR COUNTERPART IN ENGLAND SAYS THEY ARE ALREADY IN RECESSION
AND IT WILL BE THE LONGEST ONE SINCE THE GREAT WAR.
>> I BELIEVE THERE IS A PATH BRINGING INFLATION DOWN WHILE
MAINTAINING A STRONG HEALTHY LABOR MARKET.
>> Stephen: YOU THINK IT'S POSSIBLE WE'RE NOT HEADING INTO
A RECESSION? >> WE HAD RAPID RECOVERY.
GROWTH HAS SLOWED DOWN. I EXPECT THE PACE OF JOB
CREATION TO SLOW DOWN. THAT'S NATURAL AND EXPECTED WHEN
THE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE IS CLOSE TO THE LOWEST IN 50 YEARS.
SO I THINK WE CAN TAKE THE HEAT OUT OF THE ECONOMY.
AND, REMEMBER, RUSSIA HAS CONDUCTED A BRUTAL WAR AGAINST
UKRAINE. AND THAT CAUSED GAS PRICES TO
SPIKE. IT'S CAUSED FOOD PRICES TO
SPIKE. IT'S CREATING HARDSHIP ALL OVER
THE WORLD. AND WE'RE REALLY TRYING TO
ADDRESS THOSE-- THOSE STRAINS AS WELL.
THAT'S ANOTHER REASON INFLATION WENT UP, AND WE'RE TRYING TO
HOLD THAT DOWN. >> Stephen: NOW, YOU USED TO
BE, AS I SAID BEFORE, YOU USED TO BE THE HEAD OF THE FED,
CHAIRMAN OF THE FED. WHAT GOES ON IN THERE?
( LAUGHTER ) THEORIES THAT THE FED IS A
CABAL, AND YOU WEAR RO ROBES AND SACRIFICE A GOAT, AND RIGHT
BEFORE THE GOAT BURSTS INTO FLAMES IT TELLS YOU THE NEW
INTEREST RATE HIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY-- WHY IS IT SO
SECRETIVE? WHY IS THE FED SO SECRETIVE?
>> WELL, IT USED TO BE VERY SECRETIVE, AND THERE WAS A
FAMOUS BOOK CALLED, "SECRETS OF THE TEMPLE."
AND THEN THE PHILOSOPHY-- IT WAS THOUGHT ONCE UPON A TIME-- I CAN
NO LONGER REMEMBER WHY-- BUT MONETARY POLICY WOULD BE MOST
EFFECTIVE IF IT WAS MOST SECRETIVE.
AND THE OF THE TRUTH IS THAT THE FED NEVER EVEN ANNOUNCED TO THE
PUBLIC WHAT DECISION THEY HAD MADE ABOUT MONETARY POLICY.
THE FIRST TIME THAT EVER HAPPENED WAS IN FEBRUARY OF
1994. >> Stephen: BEFORE THEN, THE
INTEREST RATES WOULD CHANGE JUST, AND THAT'S HOW WE WOULD
FIND OUT? >> THEY WOULD MAKE A SECRET
DECISION, AND YOU TO BE A FED WATCHER, AND YOU WOULD WATCH THE
MONEY SUPPLY NUMBERS. AND YOU REALLY HAD TO UNDERSTAND
HOW WALL STREET WORKED IN ORDER TO REALIZE THEY HAD CHANGED THE
STANCE OF MONETARY POLICY. MEETINGS ENDED, THEY NEVER EVEN
ISSUED A STATEMENT. >> Stephen: THIS MORNING, YOU
CALLED THE RECENT CRYPTO-CRASH "A LEHMAN MOMENT."
OF COURSE A LEHMAN MOMENT, AS I UNDERSTAND IT, IS WHEN ONE FIRM,
OR LARGE ENTITY, ENDS UP BEING A SENECTED FOR A LARGER MARKET.
ARE YOU SAYING SCRIPTO COULD COLLAPSE BECAUSE OF RECENT
CRYPTO FAILURES? >> I WOULD SAY THE COLLAPSE OF
THIS FIRM, FTX, A LEHMAN MOMENT FOR CRYPTOCURRENCY SECTOR AND
HAS HAD CONTAGION. BUT, FORTUNATELY, THERE HASN'T
BEEN MUCH CONTAGION TO THE REAL ECONOMY.
INVESTORS HAVE LOST A LOT OF MONEY, AND TO ME, THAT POINTS TO
THE NEED FOR MUCH MORE REGULATION OF THIS SECTOR.
AND THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE THIS FIRM WAS OPERATING AT-- MAINLY
OUTSIDE THE UNITED STATES -- >> Stephen: WITH NO-- WITH NO
OVERSIGHT. >> WITH NO REAL OVERSIGHT.
BUT EVEN IF IT HAD BEEN IN THE UNITED STATES, THERE ARE REAL
GAPS. THERE'S SOME REGULATORY
AUTHORITY, BUT HUGE HOLES. AND SO THIS IS THE SECTOR WHERE
INNOCENT INVESTORS COULD REALLY LOSE THEIR MONEY.
>> Stephen: WELL, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING ABOUT-- LET ME ASK
YOU ABOUT CRYPTO: DO YOU-- DOES CRYPTO MAKE SENSE TO YOU, ON
THIS LEVEL? PEOPLE LIKE RON PAUL WOULD SAY
AFTER THE UNITED STATES WENT OFF THE GOLD STANDARD UNDER 96 KNOW
ON, I BELIEVE,s THAT YOU KNOW WE'RE NOW A FIAT CURRENCY.
THINGS ARE WORTH WHAT THEY'RE WORTH BECAUSE WE SAY IT'S WORTH
SOMETHING. IT'S BACKED BY THE FULL FAITH
AND CREDIT OF THE UNITED STATES, WHATEVER THAT PARTICULAR PHRASE,
THAT TERM OF ART MIGHT MINE. IS CRYPTO, WHERE IEATE A WIDGET
THAT SPITS OUT A COIN THAT I DECLARE A VALUE AND THAT NUMBER
OF THOSE SETS A CAPITALIZATION FOR ALL THAT CRYPTO OUT AND
THERE PEOPLE GET INVESTED AND THAT $20 MILLION PEOPLE SAY
THAT'S NOW WORTH $100 MILLION, AND IT'S ALL CREATING OFFED OUT
OF NOTHING. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE TO YOU?
THERE IS NO INHERENT VALUE TO THE ITEM ITSELF?
>> I HAVE BEEN PRETTY SKEPTICAL SINCE THE OUTSET ABOUT WHAT THE
VALUE OF CRYPTO WOULD BE TO THE REAL ECONOMY.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE THE UNITED STATES HAS A FIAT CURRENCY, IS--
IS THE DOLLAR MAKE ANY MORE SENSE TO YOU THAN CRYPTO DOES?
>> YES, THE DOLLAR MAKES A LOT OF SENSE TO ME.
>> Stephen: WHY? >>
>> BECAUSE IT'S A NATIONAL CURRENCY THAT'S WELL REGULATED
BY THE FEDERAL RESERVE THAT HAS A CLEAR MANDATE.
AND PEOPLE WHO WERE ACCOUNTABLE TO THE PUBLIC AND TO CONGRESS TO
MAINTAIN THE GOALS OF THE FED, WHICH IS MAXIMUM EMPLOYMENT, AND
LOW AND STABLE INFLATION. >> Stephen: THEY KNOW WHAT
THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT. THEY'VE GOT THE ROBES AND THE
GOATS AND EVERYTHING. >> THEY'VE GOT WHOLE THING.
THEY TELL YOU WHAT THEY'RE DOING.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE MISUNDERSTAND, BUT THEY TALK TO YOU ABOUT WHAT
THEY'RE-- WELL, ONE PROBLEM IS THERE ARE 19 OF THEM AT FULL
STRENGTH, AND THEY HAVE SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT VIEWS AND PEOPLE
SOMETIMES FIND IT CONFUSING. >> Stephen: NOW THAT YOU NO
LONGER ARE AT THE FED DO, THEY CONFUSE YOU?
( LAUGHTER ) EVER, AS THE TREASURY SECRETARY?
>> NOT ESPECIALLY, BUT -- >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I WILL
ASK SECRETARY YELLEN WHY HER NAME ISN'T ON OUR MONEY YET.
STICK AROUND. ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
RIGHT HERE, WE'RE BACK WITH SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY, JANET
YELLEN. HERE'S SOMETHING THAT CONFUSES
ME. THIS IS A DOLLAR BILL RIGHT
THERE. LET'S SEE IF WE CAN GET A SHOT
OF THAT. AND RIGHT OVER HERE-- CAN YOU
SEE THIS? THIS IS-- WE LOOKED FOR YOUR
NAME. AND IT SAYS STEVE MNUCHIN OVER
THERE IN, I GOTTA SAY, BLOCK PRINT.
HE NEVER LEARNED TO CONNECT HIS LETTERS.
>> IT'S CURSIVE. >> Stephen: WHY ISN'T YOUR
NAME ON THE MONEY, SECRETARY YELLEN?
IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS. >> SO LET'S LOOK AT THIS BILL.
>> Stephen: IT'S REAL. IT'S NOT COUNTERFEIT.
>> NO, NO, I AGREE. BUT, YOU SEE, THERE'S A SECOND
NAME. AND THE SECOND NAME ON THE LEFT
SIDE OF THE CURRENCY IS THE TREASURER OF THE UNITED STATES.
AND NEW MONEY CAN'T BE ISSUED UNTIL THERE IS ALSO A TREASURER,
ALONG WITH A NEW SECRETARY. >> Stephen: DO WE NOT HAVE--
>> WE NOW DO HAVE A TREASURER. AND OUR TREASURER IS THE FIRST
NATIVE AMERICAN WOMAN EVER TO BE APPOINTED TREASURER OF THE
UNITED STATES. ( APPLAUSE )
YOU GET THE BIG MOMENT? >> NEXT WEEK, I AM GOING TO FORT
WORTH, WHICH IS WHERE ONE OF THE TWO PLANTS ARE LOCATED THAT
PRODUCE OUR CURRENCY. AND I AM GOING TO SEE THE FI
FIRST-- THE FIRST SHEETS OF CURRENCY THAT HAVE BEEN PRINTED
WITH BOTH OF OUR NAMES. SO IT IS ABOUT--
( APPLAUSE ) DID YOU PRACTICE YOUR SIGNATURE?
ARE YOU HAPPY WITH IT? >> I PRACTICED AND PRACTICED.
YOU KNOW, I-- I-- I HAD HEARD STORIES-- TWO OF MY
PREDECESSORS, PRESIDENT OBAMA'S TREASURY SECRETARIES, TIM
GEITHNER AND JACK LIU, SIGNED OF CURRENCY.
AND THEIR SIGNATURES WERE SO ILLEG IBLG THAT PEOPLE MADE FUN
OF THEM. AND SECRETARY LIU, HE SIGNED
SOMETHING THAT LOOKED LIKE EIGHT CIRCLES THAT WERE CONNECTED.
>> Stephen: I REMEMBER THAT. IT LOOKED LIKE HOW A CHILD WOULD
DRAW SMOKE COMING OUT OF A CHIMNEY.
>> SOMETHING LIKE THAT. ( LAUGHTER )
DECIDED THAT THEY SHOULD REDO IT.
AND SO I KNEW THAT THIS WAS SOMETHING YOU COULD REALLY SCREW
UP. AND I WANTED TO GET IT RIGHT.
AND I PRACTICED AND I PRACTICED. AND YOU WILL SEE-- YOU'LL SEE
WHAT YOU THINK. BUT I THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO
READ THE LETTERS. >> Stephen: I'LL DO MY
CRITIQUE ON AIR. HOW ABOUT THAT?
I'LL LET YOU KNOW ABOUT IT. ( APPLAUSE )
BEFORE WE GO, WE DO SOMETHING ON THE SHOW EVERY WEEK WHICH IS
CALLED "THE SACK," WHERE EVERYBODY THROWS IN A BUCK WITH
THEIR NAME ON IT AND AT THE END OF THE WEEK WE PULL IT OUT.
BECAUSE YOU'RE HERE TONIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO DO IT A LITTLE
BIT EARLY. WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO PULL THE
NAME OUT OF THE SACK TO SAY WHO OUR WINNER IS?
THIS IS FOR ALL THE MONEY. HOW MUCH MONEY IS IN HERE, DO WE
KNOW? $166, SECRETARY.
WHO WON? >> WILLA, IN DIGITAL PA.
>> Stephen: WILLA! DIGITAL!
WILA! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> CONGRATULATIONS! YOU GET TO KEEP THAT ONE, HUH?
>> Stephen: TREASURY SECRETARY JANET YELLEN, EVERYBODY!
THANK YOU SO MUCH, SECRETARY. HOLD ON ONE SECRETARY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ROB DELANEY.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
WELCOME BACK!
MY NEXT GUEST IS A COMEDIAN WHO CO-CREATED AND STARRED IN THE
HIT COMEDY SERIES "CATASTROPHE." HE HAS WRITTEN A NEW BOOK: "A
HEART THAT WORKS." PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE
SHOW," ROB DELANEY. ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ). THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THIS ONE? OKAY!
>> Stephen: EITHER ONE. THIS SIDE MAKES IT IT EASIER.
>> YOUR BAND IS NASTY. >> Stephen: AREN'T THEY GOOD?
>> NASTY FOLK S. >> Stephen: FANTASTIC.
NICE TO MEET YOU. >> IT'S SO GREAT TO MEET YOU.
I MEAN, I CERTAINLY ADMIRED YOUR WORK BEFORE.
"CATASTROPHE," AND A BRIEF BUT MEMORABLE APPEARANCE IN
"DEADPOOL 2", OF COURSING. >> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: PEOPLE KNOW YOU AS A COMEDIAN, BUT YOU STARTED OFF
IN MUSICAL THEATER. >> I DID.
>> Stephen: WHEN DID THAT-- WHEN AND HOW DID THAT CHANGE
HAPPEN? >> SO WE WERE DOING A NATIONAL
TU A "BUS AND TRUCK" NATIONAL TOUR-- I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE
KNOWS WHAT THAT MEANS-- OF "CAMELOT."
>> Stephen: WERE YOU SIR LANCE LOT?
>> I WAS ♪ IF EVER I SHOULD LEAVE YOU ♪
>> I WOULDN'T DO IT IN SPRINGTIME.
>> Stephen: I COULD SEE YOU AS ROBERT GOULET.
>> THANK YOU. WE'RE WE WERE DOING THAT TOUR
AND OUR BUS BROKE DOWN IN VIRGINIA ONE A DAYWHEN WE WERE
TRYING TO GET TO WEST VIRGINIA TO DO A SHOW, AND WE DIDN'T KNOW
IF WE WOULD MAKE IT. BUT THEY GOT A REPLACEMENT BUS
TOINOUS TIME. AND WE BARELY MADE IT.
THE SHOW STARTED AT 7:30, AND WE GOT THERE AT, LIKE, 7:32.
WE HAD TO DO A SOUND CHECK TO CALIBRATE THE MICS.
THE THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO CHECK ARE GENOVERE AND SIR LANCE
LOT. YOU WOULD GO OUT AND SAY A
COUPLE OF BARS AND DIALOGUE. GENOVERE DID THAT AND ARTHUR AND
I. AND I SAID WAIT THEY DID SOME
DIALOGUE FROM THE PLAY TOTALLY SPOILING IT FOR THESE PEOPLE --
>> Stephen: THE AUDIENCE WAS THERE.
>> WE HAD TO DO IT IN FRONT OF THE AUDIENCE.
IMPORTANT DETAIL I LEFT OUT. BUT-- SO THEY SOUND CHECK IN
FRONT OF THEM. AND I'M LIKE I'M NOT GOING TO
TELL THEM ANY OF THE DIALOGUE. I DON'T WANT THEM TO KNOW THE
STORY OF CAMELOT BEFORE WE BEGIN-- LIKE THEY DIDN'T ALREADY
KNOW IT. IT'S JUST LIKE 2,500 OLD LADIES
IN THE AUDIENCE. >> Stephen: I DON'T WANT THEM
TON WHAT SHAPE THE TABLE IS. >> PRECISELY.
SO I WAS LIKE, YOU KNOW, WHAT? I'M JUST GOING TO SAY SOME STUFF
ABOUT OUR DAY AND ABOUT HOW OUR BUS BROKE DOWN ON THE BANK OF
THE ELBOW RIVER IN VIRGINIA. AND I DID.
AND I TOLD THEM A LITTLE ABOUT ABOUT OUR DAY.
AND PEOPLE LAUGHED. AND I WAS LIKE, OH, I DON'T DO
MUSICAL THEATER ANYMORE. NOW, I DO COMEDY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S DRUG. RIGHT THERE.
>> YEAH, BECAUSE MUSICAL THEATER WAS, LIKE, YOU KNOW, A TONING ON
SOME GARBAGE WEED. BUT MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH, WITH
THINGS YOU THOUGHT UP YOURSELF, THAT WAS THE TIE-ME-OFF.&
THE SPOON. THE GOOD STUFF!
>> Stephen: SURE, SURE, SURE. DARK IMAGE, BUT I AGREE.
YOU HAVE A NEW BOOK. IT'S CALLED "A HEART THAT
WORKS." AND IT'S A MEMOIR.
IT'S FUNNY AND IT'S PAINFUL AND IT'S REALLY ABOUT LOVE AND OFTEN
THE PAIN OF LOVE. TELL THE PEOPLE WHAT IT'S ABOUT.
>> YEAH, SO MY THIRD SON, HENRY, AROUND THE TIME OF HIS FIRST
BIRTHDAY, GOT SICK. AND HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS.
AND IT TOOK A WHILE TO GET IT DIAGNOSED.
IT TURNED OUT TO BE A BRAIN TUMOR.
AND HE WAS-- HE GOT-- YOU KNOW, HE HAD A BIG SURGERY AND
CHEMOTHERAPY AND WAS DISABLED BY THE SURGERY TO REMOVE THE TUMOR.
AND THEN WE HAD, YOU KNOW, SOME TIME IN THE HOSPITAL FOR 14
MONTHS IN HOSPITAL, AND THEN SEVEN ADDITIONAL MONTHS AT HOME.
AND THEN HIS TUMOR RETURNED, AND HE DIED.
SO THAT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT. AND IT'S ABOUT THE TIME BEFORE
AND AFTER THAT. AND HOW OUR FAMILY NAVIGATED IT
ALL. >> Stephen: THAT PAIN OF A
PARENT LOSING THEIR CHILD IS SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE DON'T
REALLY EVEN WANT TO IMAGINE. IT'S SUCH A PAINFUL-- ESPECIALLY
IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN OF YOUR OWN.
IT'S TOO HARD TO CONTEMPLATE. BUT YOU WRITE THAT GRIEF "MAKES
ME WANT TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND." >> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT YOU-- WHAT IS IT YOU WANT PEOPLE TO
UNDERSTAND? AND WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT FOR
YOU TO MAKE US UNDERSTAND? >> SO, I THINK LOSI LOSING A CHS
ACCURATELY BILLED AS THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU,
YOU KNOW. AND YOU-- WE IMMEDIATELY FELT
PLUCKED OWCHT REGULAR HUMAN RACE AND JUST PUT OVER HERE AND FELT
SO SEPARATE AND DIFFERENT AND NOT UNDERSTOOD.
BUT WE HAD ALSO LEARNED SOMETHING SO PROFOUND.
WE HAD SEEN SORT OF MORE DEEPLY INTO THE MECHANISM OF LIFE AND
LOVE AND FEAR AND PAIN THAN WE EVER HAD BEFORE.
AND... I DON'T KNOW. WE KIND OF WANTED TO COME BACK
TO HUMANITY, BUT WE FELT WE HAD TO...
( SIGHS ) NEEDED, LIKE, TRANSLATOR DEVICES
AND STUFF BEFORE WE COULD MESH WITH OTHER PEOPLE AGAIN.
SO IT WAS... I WANTED TO WRITE SOMETHING THAT
HELPED KIND OF BRIDGE THAT GAP BETWEEN, YOU KNOW, SOMETHING
THAT MANY PEOPLE WOULD RIGHTFULLY CONSIDER
UNIMAGINABLE. AND, YOU KNOW, REGULAR JOES JUST
WALKING DOWN THE STREET WHISTLING, YOU KNOW, NOT KNOWING
WHAT THAT STUFF IS LIKE. >> Stephen: HERE YOU ARE WITH
YOUR SON HENRY RIGHT THERE. TELL ME ABOUT HIM.
>> HE'S VERY BEAUTIFUL. I MISS HIS EARS IN MY MOUTH.
ALL MY CHILDREN'S EARS HAVE SPENT AN INSANE AMOUNT OF TIME
IN MY MOUTH. ( LAUGHTER )
IN YOUR MOUTH A LOT, I THINK, IS A BIG PART OF PARENTING.
HENRY WAS THE THIRD BOY RIGHT IN A ROW.
SO THERE'S NOT QUITE TWO YEARS BEFORE THE FIRST TWO, THEN JUST
OVER TWO YEARS BETWEEN OSCAR AND HENRY.
SO, YOU KNOW, OUR HOUSE WAS PRETTY CRAZY WITH ALL THESE
LITTLE BOYS. AND HE-- HE SEEMED TO KNOW RIGHT
AWAY HE WOULD HAVE TO BE VERY SERENE AND MAGNETIC.
HE WASN'T, LIKE, A SCRERM OR, "I'M GOING TO COMFEET FOR
ATTENTION." HE WOULD JUST BE LIKE A LITTLE
SWEET POTATO AND MAGNETIZE YOU TOWARD HIM.
SO VERY LOVELY. BUT THEN, YOU KNOW, 11 MONTHS
BEFORE HE BECAME VERY VISIBLY ILL AND VOMITING A LOT-- WHICH I
SHOULD SAY, CAN BE A SYMPTOM OF A BRAIN TUMOR FOR ANYBODY, BUT
PARTICULARLY FOR A YOUNG KID WHO CAN'T EXPLAIN-- LIKE YOU OR I
WOULD BE LIKE, "HEY, THERE'S THIS PRESSURE IN MY HEAD."
OR "I'M HAVING TROUBLE SEEING." BUT SOMEONE WHO CAN'T TALK CAN'T
DO THAT. SO IT WAS VERY HARD TO DIAGNOSE.
AND THE TUMOR WAS NEXT TO HIS BRAIN STEM AND CRANIAL NERVES.
SO TO GET IT OUT, THEY HAD TO DAMAGE HIS BRAIN STEM.
THE DOCTORS DID AN AMAZING JOB, BUT TO GET EVERY BIT OF THIS
TERRIBLE MALIGNANT TUMOR, SO HE WAS QUITE DISABLED AMPEDS AND HE
HAD TO RELEARN A LOT OF SKILLS-- OR EVEN LEARN SOME OF THEM
BECAUSE HE WAS SO YOUNG HE HADN'T EVEN DONE A LOT OF THE
STUFF THAT WE DO WITH THESE BODIES.
SO THEN HE BECAME THE HARDEST WORKER I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY
LIFE. I MEAN, JUST ASTONISHING TO
WATCH HIS DRIVE AS HE LEARNED HOW TO DO STUFF AND DID HIS
PHYSICAL THERAPY. I MEAN, LIKE, OKAY, ONE WAY THAT
MY WIFE AND I CAN MAKE EACH OTHER SMILE IS BY SAYING THE
PHRASE, "HIGH KNEELING." HENRY HAD TO LEARN, HE WAS DOWN
HERE, AND WHEN HE WOULD DO HIGH KNEELING, WHICH WAS ONE OF HIS
ACTIVITIES, WE WOULD CHEER LIKE IT WAS THE SUPER BOWL FREAKING
OUT, WATCHING HIM HIGH KNEEL. AND IT WAS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL TO
SEE THE ASPIRATION AND THE DRIVE AND THE LIFE IN HIM WAS JUST
AMAZING. >> Stephen: WELL, ROB, SO
LOVELY TO MEET YOU. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: AND THANK YOU FOR
TELLING THE STORY. IT'S SO IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO BE
ABLE TO SHARE THAT WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND FOR THEM TO LEARN IT.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH. >> Stephen: HIS BOOK, "A HEART
THAT WORKS," IS ON SALE NOW ROB DELANEY, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. IT
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE LATE SHOW."
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUESTS WILL BE JOHN KRASINSKI AND
SARAH POLLEY. JAMES CORDEN IS NEXT.
GOOD NIGHT.