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00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:04,938
>> REPUBLICANS ARE DEADLOCKED,
IN DISARRAY IN THE HOUSE OF
2
00:00:05,004 --> 00:00:06,973
REPRESENTATIVES OVER THE BATTLE
FOR A NEW SPEAKER.
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00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,142
>>THE REPUBLICANS ARE IN
DISARRAY.
4
00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:11,945
THEY DO NOT HAVE A LEADER.
5
00:00:12,011 --> 00:00:14,013
>> GROWING CHAOS IN THE HOUSE OF
REPRESENTATIVES.
6
00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:04,130
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE
SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."
7
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:14,641
TONIGHT:
PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES:
8
00:01:14,707 --> 00:01:20,313
CHRIS WALLACE
AND JESSIE BUCKLEY
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00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:25,485
FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND THE
LATE SHOW BAND.
10
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:27,921
AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM THE
ED SULLIVAN THEATER IN NEW YORK
11
00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:35,728
CITY, IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
12
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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
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00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:41,534
>> Stephen: WOOO!
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00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:42,735
WOOO!
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00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:52,445
RIGHT OVER THERE, MY FRIEND.
16
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:53,146
ALL RIGHT.
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00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:57,517
EVERYBODY-- WATCH YOUR BACK.
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OF HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY,
HAPPY, HAPPY THURSDAY.
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00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:03,990
THAT'S RIGHT.
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00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:05,024
THANKS, EVERYBODY.
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00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:07,427
WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
TO "THE LATE SHOW."
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00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:08,261
THE.
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00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:10,129
I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
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00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:12,632
YOU KNOW, I'VE HAD--
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
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00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:19,839
WE, REALLY, WE'VE HAD A LOT OF
FUN THIS WEEK MAKING JOKES ABOUT
26
00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:33,119
KEVIN McCARTHY LOSING IN
THE MOST HUMILIATING FASHION
27
00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:34,387
POSSIBLE.
28
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:36,523
BUT AT WHAT POINT DOES IT BECOME
SAD TO WATCH HIM GET REPEATEDLY
29
00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:38,124
DRAGGED THROUGH THE TOWN SQUARE
WHILE THE VILLAGE IDIOTS PELT
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00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,727
HIM WITH ROTTING GARBAGE?
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00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:42,695
( APPLAUSE )
NOT AT THIS POINT, BECAUSE THIS
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00:02:42,762 --> 00:02:48,034
IS STILL A LOT OF FUN.
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00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:50,537
BY NOW, IT'S REALLY CLEAR THAT
EVERY DAY McCARTHY ATTEMPTS TO
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00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:52,205
BECOME SPEAKER IS JUST ANOTHER
UNNECESSARY BUT ENJOYABLE
35
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:53,940
SEQUEL, WHICH IS WHY WE'RE
COVERING ALL THE LOWLIGHTS IN A
36
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:58,711
SEGMENT WE'RE CALLING
"MAMMA MIA: HERE HE LOSE AGAIN."
37
00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:01,981
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
38
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:12,892
♪ WATERLOO, RUNNING FOR SPEAKER
HE SHOULDN'T DO ♪
39
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:14,127
LET ME CATCH YOU UP.
40
00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:15,495
ON TUESDAY, KEVIN McCARTHY TRIED
TO GET ELECTED SPEAKER, BUT HE
41
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:18,131
LOST THREE TIMES.
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00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:20,466
BUT THEN ON WEDNESDAY, HE
LOST THREE MORE TIMES.
43
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:23,002
YOU MAY BE SENSING A PATTERN.
44
00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:26,873
AFTER THE SECOND DAY OF DEFEAT,
A DESPERATE McCARTHY OFFERED THE
45
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:33,680
REBELS ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING,
INCLUDING HIS BALLS IN A
46
00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:35,548
LITTLE MOLESKIN PURSE.
47
00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:36,649
OKAY, THERE YOU GO.
48
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:40,520
A LITTLE LATCH, A LITTLE LATCH
ON TOP.
49
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,555
HE PROMISED THE FREEDOM CAUCUS
TWO SEATS ON THE POWERFUL HOUSE
50
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:44,223
RULES COMMITTEE, GUARANTEED THAT
ONE OF THE PACs HE'S ASSOCIATED
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00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:49,762
WITH WOULD STAY NEUTRAL IN
ALL FUTURE REPUBLICAN PRIMARIES,
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00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:57,604
AND HE GAVE IN ON THE ONE THING
HE SAID HE WOULD NEVER GIVE IN
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00:03:57,670 --> 00:03:58,972
ON:
"ALLOWING A SINGLE LAWMAKER TO
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00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:02,942
FORCE A SNAP VOTE AT ANY TIME TO
OUST HIM FROM THE SPEAKERSHIP."
55
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:05,144
WOW, THAT IS A REALLY WEAK
POSITION TO TAKE IN WHAT IS
56
00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:06,145
ESSENTIALLY A JOB INTERVIEW.
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00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:07,180
"MY GREATEST STRENGTH?
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00:04:07,246 --> 00:04:09,916
PROBABLY THAT I'M SO EASY TO
FIRE.
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00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,184
( LAUGHTER )
WATCH.
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00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:11,884
SECURITY!
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00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:14,420
SEE YA MONDAY!"
( LAUGHTER )
62
00:04:14,487 --> 00:04:17,590
( APPLAUSE )
I'M GOING!
63
00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:26,933
I'M GOING!
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00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,602
AFTER THESE CONCESSIONS,
McCARTHY WAS FEELING PRETTY
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00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:34,474
HOPEFUL THAT PROGRESS WAS BEING
MADE INCREMENTALLY TOWARD HIS
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00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:36,209
VICTORY.
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00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:37,210
AS HE TOLD REPORTERS,"I CRAWL
BEFORE I WALK.
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00:04:37,276 --> 00:04:39,512
I WALK BEFORE I RUN."
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00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:42,515
THAT REMINDS ME OF THAT ANCIENT
RIDDLE: "WHAT WALKS ON FOUR LEGS
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00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:43,816
IN THE MORNING, TWO LEGS IN THE
AFTERNOON, AND IS NEVER GONNA BE
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00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:46,119
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE?"
( LAUGHTER )
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00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:58,898
( APPLAUSE )
RIDDLE ME THIS!
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00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,967
ANYWAY, KEVIN SHOOK OFF THOSE
FIRST TWO DAYS OF LOSING THREE
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00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,436
TIMES, CAME INTO THE CHAMBER
TODAY WITH A PEP IN HIS STEP,
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00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:05,638
AND LOST FOUR MORE TIMES.
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00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:07,507
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
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00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:08,808
SO FAR.
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00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:13,513
SO FAR.
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00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:14,847
WHY-- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
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00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:17,850
THAT'S THE MOST SINCE, LIKE,
1859, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
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00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:21,821
IT BEAT THE 1923 NINE TIMES IN A
ROW.
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00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:23,423
WHY DOES HE KEEP GOING?
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00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:27,427
I'M BEGINNING TO THINK LOSING
FLOOR VOTES MIGHT BE HIS KINK.
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00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,562
( LAUGHTER )
HE'S GETTING OFF ON THIS.
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00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:32,198
IT'S ALL IN THE NEW EROTIC
CONGRESSIONAL NOVEL, "FIFTY
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00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:35,435
SHADES OF NAY."
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00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:38,304
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
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00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:39,939
NOW WHY ELSE-- THAT'S UPSETTING.
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00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:47,346
( APPLAUSE )
WHY ELSE WOULD KEVIN McCARTHY
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00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:55,254
KEEP DOING THIS, OTHER THAN TO
MAKE ME HAPPY.
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00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:57,557
BECAUSE I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF
THIS.
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00:05:57,623 --> 00:06:01,427
I DON'T KNOW HAUGEN THE REST OF
YOU FEEL, BUT THIS IS BETTER
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00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:03,796
THAN WATCHING HIM LOSE AN
ELECTION.
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00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:07,633
IT'S BETTER THAN WATCHING HIM
LOSE AN ELECTION.
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00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:08,868
YOU GET TO WATCH HIM LOSE THREE
TIMES A DAY FOR, APPARENTLY,
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00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:09,302
ETERNITY.
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00:06:09,368 --> 00:06:10,503
IT'S FANTASTIC.
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00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:12,905
AND I KNOW THESE ARE NOT THE
FEELINGS THAT THE LORD WANTS ME
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00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:14,207
TO HAVE ABOUT ANYONE.
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00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:15,908
I WILL GRANT YOU THAT.
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00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:17,143
THE LORD IS FREE TO STOP ME.
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00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,145
BUT UNTIL HE COMES ON A CLOUD OF
GLORY AND TELLS ME NOT TO FEEL
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00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:24,917
HAPPY ABOUT KEVIN McCARTHY
GETTING REPEATEDLY NUT PUNCHED,
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00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:27,220
EVERY DAY IS CHRISTMAS FOR
STEVIE.
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00:06:27,286 --> 00:06:28,755
BECAUSE-- AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
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00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:32,425
( APPLAUSE )
I'LL TELL YOUS WHY.
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00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:36,963
BECAUSE HERE'S A GUY-- AND LET
ME EXPLAIN, LORD-- HERE'S A GUY
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00:06:37,029 --> 00:06:40,833
WHO, RIGHT AFTER JANUARY 6, YOU
WILL REMEMBER, ON THE FLOOR OF
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00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:46,839
THE HOUSE HE WANTS TO BE SPEAKER
OF, SAID THAT THE PRESIDENT BORE
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00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:49,475
RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE
UNPRECEDENTED ATTACK ON THE
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00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:51,611
CAPITOL.
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00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:54,280
AND THEN, TWO WEEKS LATER, WENT
DOWN TO MAR-A-LAGO TO KISS THE
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00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:54,914
RING.
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00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,984
AND I DON'T MEAN
( BOOING )
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00:06:58,050 --> 00:06:59,886
AND I DON'T MEAN THIS ONE.
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00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:02,688
HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING WAS
WRONG, AND HE DID IT ANYWAY FOR
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00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:14,233
HIS PERSONAL POLITICAL POWER.
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00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:18,471
COULD DO THE RIGHT THING OR I
COULD BE SPEAKER.
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00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:20,173
AND NOW HE GETS NEITHER.
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00:07:20,239 --> 00:07:23,676
10 TIMES IN A ROW, SO FAR.
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00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:26,979
IT PROFIT A MAN NOTHING TO GAIN
THE WORLD AND LOSE HIS SOUL,
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00:07:27,046 --> 00:07:30,917
ASSUMING HE HAD A SOUL TO BEGIN
WITH.
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00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:33,553
ANYWAY, THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY
ON THE SUBJECT.
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00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:35,087
OKAY, I'LL SAY A LITTLE MORE.
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00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:40,960
( APPLAUSE )
AT THIS POINT, HE'S OFFERED TO
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00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,528
GIVE AWAY SO MUCH POWER THAT THE
SPEAKER JOB ITSELF HAS NO
127
00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:43,196
MEANING.
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00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:44,697
SO WHAT DOES HE ACTUALLY WANT?
129
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:53,739
MY GUESS-- AND THIS IS KIND OF
TRUE-- HE'S DOING IT FOR LEGACY,
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00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,408
FOR HIS PLACE IN HISTORY,
BECAUSE-- AND THIS IS TRUE-- THE
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00:07:55,474 --> 00:07:58,277
HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES MUST
ACQUIRE AN OIL PORTRAIT OF EVERY
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00:07:58,344 --> 00:07:59,178
SPEAKER.
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00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:01,380
OR IN JOHN BOEHNER'S CASE, A
TASTEFUL NUDE.
134
00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:02,281
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
135
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:03,349
MAYBE-- HE LOOKS GOOD.
136
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:08,087
HE LOOKS REALLY GOOD.
137
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,622
NOW, MAYBE KEVIN'S JUST
DESPERATE FOR THAT PORTRAIT IN
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00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:12,425
THE SPEAKER'S LOBBY.
139
00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:16,095
IS WELL, TO END THIS LOGJAM, TO
SAVE DEMOCRACY, I HAVE
140
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:21,734
PERSONALLY COMMISSIONED AN OIL
PAINTING OF KEVIN McCARTHY.
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00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:23,469
BRING IT OUT, BOYS!
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00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:24,503
( APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN.
143
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:30,710
THANK YOU.
144
00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:35,448
HERE'S WHAT WE DID-- WE
ABSOLUTELY DID THIS.
145
00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:39,418
WE WENT ONLINE TO ONE OF THOSE
A.I. ART GENERATORS, AND TYPED
146
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:41,487
IN THE KEY WORDS THAT WE FOUND
IN NEWS ARTICLES ABOUT THIS
147
00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:44,323
IMPASSE: "KEVIN McCARTHY,"
"SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE," AND
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00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:45,791
"CHAOS."
149
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:50,029
THIS IS WHAT THE A.I. GENERATED:
VOI-LOSER!
150
00:08:50,096 --> 00:09:03,910
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HONEST TO GOD.
151
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:06,512
( APPLAUSE )
I THINK-- I THINK-- I THINK THIS
152
00:09:06,579 --> 00:09:14,887
TRULY CAPTURES KEVIN'S
JE NE SAIS AAAAHHHH!!
153
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,122
THERE'S YOUR PORTRAIT, KEVIN.
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00:09:16,188 --> 00:09:18,791
WE'LL SEND THIS TO YOU, AND YOU
CAN HANG IT UP IN YOUR OFFICE,
155
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:23,229
WHEREVER THAT ENDS UP BEING.
156
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,497
I'M GUESSING THE CORNER BOOTH AT
RUBY TUESDAY'S.
157
00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:25,765
AFTER A COUPLE CHOCOLATE COOKIE
SKILLETS, YOU'LL FORGET ALL THIS
158
00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:28,034
HAPPENED.
159
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:32,872
AND I DO WANT TO POINT OUT THAT
BASED ON THIS COMPUTER-GENERATED
160
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:38,277
PORTRAIT, WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER,
STEVE CARRELL'S GOING TO WIN AN
161
00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:40,613
OSCAR FOR PLAYING KEVIN
McCARTHY.
162
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:41,380
STEVE...
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00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:46,052
( APPLAUSE )
THIS IS REAL.
164
00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:51,123
THIS IS REAL.
165
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:54,627
NOW, AS FUN AS THIS WAS FOR
AMERICA TO SAY AND AS FUN AS ALL
166
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:57,396
THIS CHAOS IS FOR AMERICA TO
HAVE, THIS IS ALSO TERRIBLE FOR
167
00:09:57,463 --> 00:09:59,198
AMERICA.
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00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,433
THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
CANNOT BEGIN ITS BUSINESS UNTIL
169
00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:01,701
THERE'S A SPEAKER.
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00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,336
THAT MEANS NO ONE'S SWORN IN, NO
ONE'S BEING PAID, NO LAWS BEING
171
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:07,406
PASSED, NO MONEY FOR OFFICE
SUPPLIES.
172
00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:09,208
IT HAS LED "THE WASHINGTON POST"
TO WONDER, "DOES THE HOUSE EVEN
173
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:15,181
EXIST RIGHT NOW?"
THAT LEADS TO A FASCINATING,
174
00:10:15,247 --> 00:10:19,251
PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION:
"IF KEVIN McCARTHY FALLS IN THE
175
00:10:19,318 --> 00:10:22,455
FOREST, ISN'T IT FUN TO LAUGH
AT HIM?"
176
00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:28,627
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
REPUBLICANS-- YOU GOT TO SEND
177
00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:29,261
THAT TO HIM.
178
00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:32,665
WE HAVE TO SEND THAT TO KEV.
179
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:35,201
REPUBLICANS ARE UNDERSTAND
AGENCY TRIAL TO SPIN THE
180
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:42,842
INABILITY TO FULFILL THE BASIC
FUNCTIONS OF DEMOCRACY.
181
00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:49,148
>> IT'S BAD, BUT IT'S DEMOCRACY.
182
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:52,418
WHAT LOOKS CHAOTIC AND SEEMS
KIND OF COUNTERPRODUCTIVE TO
183
00:10:52,485 --> 00:11:03,396
MANY, IT'S ACTUALLY IN ITS OWN
WAY REFRESHING.
184
00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:04,630
>> Stephen: "CHAOTIC,"
COUNTERPRODUCTIVE," AND
185
00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:05,765
"REFRESHING"?
186
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:10,770
THAT COULD ONLY BE THE GREAT
TASTE OF CLUSTERMUNCH COLA.
187
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,205
ALL THE THIS DISFUNCTION IS
LEAVING HOUSE MEMBERS WITH TIME
188
00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:14,240
TO KILL.
189
00:11:14,306 --> 00:11:19,645
NEW MEMBERS OF THE HOUSE CAN'T
BE SWORN IN UNTIL A
190
00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:21,180
SPEAKER IS PICKED, WHICH MEANS
ALL THOSE FAMILIES WHO CAME TO
191
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:22,548
GET A PROUD PHOTO-OP HAVE NOW
BEEN CAMPING OUT FOR DAYS.
192
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:25,317
IT'S GOTTEN SO BAD THAT
CALIFORNIA REPRESENTATIVE JIMMY
193
00:11:25,384 --> 00:11:27,920
GOMEZ HAD TO MAKE THE DEMOCRATIC
CLOAK ROOM A BABY CHANGING
194
00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:31,824
STATION.
195
00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:33,192
AND WHAT GETS CLEANED UP IN
THERE, NANCY PELOSI?
196
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:34,727
>> THE POO POO.
197
00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:37,363
>> Stephen: YES, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, MADAM SPEAKER.
198
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:44,103
( APPLAUSE )
GOMEZ EVEN TWEETED THIS PHOTO.
199
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:48,340
OH, MY GOD.
200
00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:49,442
MAKE THE BABY THE SPEAKER!
201
00:11:49,508 --> 00:11:54,780
HIS RESUME IS JUST AS REAL AS
GEORGE SANTOS.
202
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:57,783
BUT--
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
203
00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:59,785
DANCING WITH THAT CHICKEN.
204
00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:01,620
DANCING WITH THAT CHICKEN.
205
00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:04,990
DANCING WITH THAT CHICKEN.
206
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:08,994
BUT THE BEST HAD TO BE
REPRESENTATIVE TROY NEHLS FROM
207
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:13,065
TEXAS, WHO WAS SEEN OUTSIDE
SMOKING A CIGAR, AND WHEN ASKED
208
00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:15,568
ABOUT IT HE SAID, "THEY'RE MILD
TO MODERATE, WHICH IS GOOD,
209
00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:20,106
BECAUSE THEY WON'T MAKE YOU
(BLEEP) YOUR PANTS."
210
00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:23,476
WE FACT CHECKED THAT, AND THAT
IS GOOD.
211
00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:26,278
( LAUGHTER )
OF COURSE, IT IMPLIES THAT HE
212
00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:31,083
SOMETIMES CHOOSES A BRAND OF
CIGAR THAT INTENTIONALLY MAKES
213
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:35,821
YOU CRAP YOUR PANTS:
"YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN SMOKING
214
00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:37,356
MILD ALL WEEK, BUT WE'RE GOING
ON VACATION NOW.
215
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:40,292
HONEY, PACK MY CRAPPIN' PANTS."
216
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:44,163
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT!
217
00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:47,133
MY GUESTS ARE CHRIS WALLACE AND
THE STAR OF "WOMEN TALKING,"
218
00:12:47,199 --> 00:12:48,901
JESSIE BUCKLEY.
219
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:51,770
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
"MEANWHILE!"
220
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,839
JOIN US, WON'T YOU?
221
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:29,942
( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: LOUIS CATO AND THE
222
00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:32,611
LATE SHOW BAND, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN!
223
00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:42,821
( APPLAUSE )
LOUIS.
224
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:43,722
>> Louis: STEPHEN.
225
00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:45,524
>> Stephen: LOUIS, MY FRIEND.
226
00:13:45,591 --> 00:13:47,626
>> Louis: STEPHEN, MY FRIEND.
227
00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:50,229
>> Stephen: YOU GUYS SOUND
GOOD.
228
00:13:50,296 --> 00:13:53,232
YOU GUYS SOUND FANTASTIC AS
USUAL, POWERFUL.
229
00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:54,133
YUP.
230
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:59,004
( APPLAUSE )
TONIGHT-- THANKS, EVERYBODY.
231
00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:02,441
HERE'S THE THING--
>> Audience: STEPHEN!
232
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:03,108
STEPHEN!
233
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:03,976
>> Stephen: THANKS, EVERYBODY.
234
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:05,110
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
235
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:05,911
LOUIS WE HAVE TWO FANTASTIC
GUESTS A GUY WE HAVE HAD OUT
236
00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:07,913
HERE MANY TIMES.
237
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,215
WE ALWAYS MIX IT UP.
238
00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:12,384
HE'S PERFECT TO BE TALKING ABOUT
THE CRISE IN WASHINGTON RIGHT
239
00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:14,887
NOW, A YOUNG MAN COVERING
WASHINGTON FOR 50 YEARS, CHRIS
240
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,121
WALLACE IS HERE TONIGHT.
241
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:21,193
AND JUST ONE OF MY-- ONE OF MY
FAVORITE ACTRESSES OF ALL TIME,
242
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:24,463
JESSIE BUCKLEY FROM THE MOVIE
"WOMEN TALKING" IS GOING TO BE
243
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,266
UP ON THE HERE IN JUST A LITTLE
WHILE.
244
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:28,234
SHE'S A COMPLETE JOY.
245
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:31,270
WE LIKE TO HAVE GOOD GUESTS FOR
OUR AUDIENCE.
246
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:33,272
IT'S ALWAYS VERY IMPORTANT
BECAUSE--
247
00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:35,241
( APPLAUSE )
AND WE DON'T LET PEOPLE DOWN
248
00:14:35,307 --> 00:14:36,442
HERE.
249
00:14:36,508 --> 00:14:39,612
ON MONDAY, WE HAVE A YOUNG MAN
YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF, MR. TOM
250
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:41,914
HANKS IS GOING TO BE HERE ON
MONDAY.
251
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:44,750
WE CALL THAT HOLD ROYALTY, OKAY.
252
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:47,519
BUT THEN ON TUESDAY, WE HAVE
ACTUAL ROYALTY, BECAUSE PRINCE
253
00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:50,756
HARRY IS GOING TO BE SITTING
RIGHT THERE.
254
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:51,757
>> Louis: COME ON!
255
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:55,694
>> Stephen: TO TALK ABOUT HIS
NEW BOOK "SPARE."
256
00:14:55,761 --> 00:15:00,199
IT'S EITHER A GRIPPING TELL-ALL
ABOUT THE ROYAL FAMILY, OR A
257
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:02,101
BOOK OF HANDY BOWLING TIPS.
258
00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:04,436
TUNE IN TO FIND OUT.
259
00:15:04,503 --> 00:15:06,472
ONCE AGAIN, "TUESDAY!
260
00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:07,673
>> Louis: YES.
261
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,175
>> Stephen: IN A LATE-NIGHT
EXCLUSIVE-- THAT'S AN EXCLUSIVE,
262
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:10,676
RIGHT, TOM?
263
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:11,644
THAT'S AN EXCLUSIVE.
264
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:13,912
PRINCE HARRY WILL BE RIGHT THERE
ON THIS SHOW.
265
00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:19,918
SO STOCK UP ON CORGIS AND STEAL
A PRICELESS CULTURAL TREASURE
266
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:24,156
FROM ONE OF YOUR COLONIES
BECAUSE "THE LATE SHOW"" IS
267
00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:27,926
GOING IMPERIAL, OKAY.
268
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:29,261
FOLKS, I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME
RIGHT OVER THERE, MELTING DOWN
269
00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:32,031
THE DAY'S BIGGEST NEWS STORIES
INTO A FINE, TOPICAL BRASS WHICH
270
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:37,936
I CAST INTO AN ENGRAVED CASE ON
AN EBONISED PLINTH, WITH AN
271
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:40,339
ENAMELED DIAL AND VISIBLE
ESCAPEMENT TO CREATE THE
272
00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:42,941
EXQUISITE BROCOT-DELETTREZ
MANTLE CLOCK THAT IS MY
273
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:46,945
MONOLOGUE.
274
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:48,547
BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, FOLKS,
I RASH A STOLEN DUNE BUGGY INTO
275
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,717
A CLAM SHACK, MAINLINE SOME
EVERCLEAR, SNAP A FIN OFF THE
276
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:52,885
PROPELLER OF AN ABANDONED
FISHING BOAT AND STICK IT TO A
277
00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:56,288
DIRTY FRISBEE WITH SOME CHEWING
GUM FROM A BUS STATION
278
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:59,124
URINAL TO SET OUT THE
TRANSIENT'S CRACKPOT SUNDIAL OF
279
00:15:59,191 --> 00:16:03,862
NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:
>> MEANWHILE!
280
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:08,167
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
ROYALTY!
281
00:16:08,233 --> 00:16:09,702
THAT'S RIGHT THERE.
282
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:15,140
IT'S A MESSAGE OF HOPE IS WHAT
THAT IS.
283
00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:17,943
MEANWHILE, ACCORDING TO A NEW
STUDY, PROCRASTINATION CAN MAKE
284
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,278
YOU DEPRESSED AND POOR.
285
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:19,812
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
286
00:16:19,878 --> 00:16:20,245
IT'S LATE.
287
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:21,246
YOU'RE TIRED.
288
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:24,683
JUST BE DEPRESSED AND POOR
TOMORROW.
289
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,785
RESEARCHERS REACHED THEIR
CONCLUSION AFTER STUDYING THE
290
00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:31,790
PROCRASTINATION HABITS OF
SWEDISH UNIVERSITY STUDENTS.
291
00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:38,731
AND WE HAVE ONE OF THE SWEDES'
VIDEO INTERVIEWS:
292
00:16:38,797 --> 00:16:42,968
♪ ♪ ♪
293
00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:47,473
>> Stephen: MEANWHILE, EVER
SINCE DANIEL CRAIG ANNOUNCED HE
294
00:16:47,539 --> 00:16:49,441
WAS DONE AS JAMES BOND,
PRODUCERS HAVE BEEN HUNTING FOR
295
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:52,778
A NEW ACTOR TO TAKE OVER THE
ROLE, NAMING ONLY THREE
296
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:58,417
CRITERIA: BRITISH, MALE, AND
30-SOMETHING.
297
00:16:58,484 --> 00:16:59,385
DAMN IT.
298
00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:01,887
IF ONLY I WERE BRITISH.
299
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:11,897
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WELL, WE GOT BIG NEWS THIS WEEK
300
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:16,034
WHEN REPORTS EMERGED THAT THERE
IS A FRONTRUNNER TO PLAY BOND:
301
00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:22,775
AARON TAYLOR-JOHNSON.
302
00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:23,275
SORRY, I MEANT "JOHNSON.
303
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:24,176
TAYLOR JOHNSON.
304
00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:26,512
AARON TAYLOR-JOHNSON."
305
00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:30,349
MEANWHILE, "A WISCONSIN CANAL
WAS CLOGGED BY MELTED BUTTER
306
00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:31,884
AFTER A DAIRY PLANT FIRE."
307
00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:34,520
WELL, WHY SHOULD WISCONSIN'S
CANALS BE ANY DIFFERENT THAN
308
00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:36,989
EVERYONE WHO LIVES THERE?
309
00:17:37,055 --> 00:17:42,060
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
310
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:47,466
MEANWHILE, "GAS STATION HEROIN
WAS JUST BANNED IN OHIO."
311
00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:50,936
THAT HEADLINE AGAIN: SOMETHING
CALED GAS STATION HEROIN HAS
312
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:54,440
BEEN LEGAL IN OHIO THIS WHOLE
TIME.
313
00:17:54,506 --> 00:17:57,843
THE ACTUAL NAME OF THIS NEWLY
BANNED DRUG IS TIANEPTINE, AN
314
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:03,115
ANTIDEPRESSANT THAT CAN MIMIC
THE EFFECTS OF OPIOIDS.
315
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:04,817
WELL, IF THIS KEEPS UP, I MIGHT
START THINKING IT'S NOT A GOOD
316
00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:08,053
IDEA TO GET MY ANTI-DEPRESSANTS
AT A GAS STATION.
317
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:23,001
( LAUGHTER )
( LAUGHTER )
318
00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:26,171
( LAUGHTER )
( LAUGHTER )
319
00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:27,706
OF
WOW.
320
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:31,243
THE NEW "CHARLOTTE'S WEB" IS
INTENSE.
321
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:34,480
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
322
00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:36,615
MEANWHILE, ON NEW YEAR'S EVE, A
TOWN IN THE U.K. WAS FORCED TO
323
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,417
CANCEL ITS FIREWORKS DISPLAY
BECAUSE OF THE PRESENCE OF A
324
00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:41,653
MASTURBATING WALRUS.
325
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:46,725
( LAUGHTER )
OF COURSE,s THAT'S JUST
326
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:47,893
POLITE.
327
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,161
IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO
CONCENTRATE WITH ALL THE NOISE.
328
00:18:49,228 --> 00:18:51,730
WILDLIFE EXPERTS SAID FIREWORKS
WOULD HAVE DISTRESSED THE ANIMAL
329
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,333
AFTER IT TURNED UP TO RELAX FOR
SOME "ME TIME" AT THE COASTAL
330
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:55,334
TOWN.
331
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,803
ONE RESIDENT SAID OF THE
SELF-PLEASURING ANIMAL'S
332
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,171
APPEARANCE:
"IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE EVER
333
00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:00,138
SEEN ONE.
334
00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:01,974
IT'S HUGE.
335
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,544
YOU RESPECT NATURE WHEN YOU SEE
SOMETHING OF THAT SIZE."
336
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:14,987
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
337
00:19:15,053 --> 00:19:19,892
ALSO, THE WALRUS.
338
00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:22,528
MEANWHILE, IN OOPSIE-DAISY NEWS
A U.K. MEDICAL PRACTICE
339
00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:27,032
MISTAKENLY TEXTED ITS PATIENTS
THAT THEY HAD "AGGRESSIVE LUNG
340
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:30,602
CANCER" WHEN THEY MEANT TO TEXT
"MERRY CHRISTMAS."
341
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:31,370
HONEST MISTAKE.
342
00:19:31,436 --> 00:19:33,839
WE'VE ALL DONE IT.
343
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,875
STILL NOT AS BAD AS A WEEK
LATER, WHEN THEY ACCIDENTALLY
344
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:38,877
MAILED A LETTER SAYING "WE HAVE
YOUR FAMILY IN AN ABANDONED SHED
345
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:40,045
IN THE WOODS.
346
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:46,919
YOU WILL NEVER FIND THEM--
OOPS, WE MEANT HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
347
00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:47,986
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CHRIS
WALLACE.
348
00:20:00,999 --> 00:20:02,734
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
349
00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:05,537
WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW."
350
00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:16,715
FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS, FOR
OVER-- I'M SO PLEASED TO HAVE MY
351
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:17,950
GUEST HERE TONIGHT.
352
00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:21,186
OVER FIVE DECADES, MY FIRST
GUEST TONIGHT HAS COVERED EVERY
353
00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:22,154
MAJOR AMERICAN POLITICAL EVENT.
354
00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:23,322
HE NOW HOSTS "WHO'S TALKING TO
CHRIS WALLACE?"
355
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:27,993
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE
SHOW," MR. CHRIS WALLACE!
356
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:42,941
♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )
357
00:20:43,008 --> 00:20:43,809
♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )
358
00:20:43,875 --> 00:20:49,848
♪ ♪ ♪
359
00:20:53,051 --> 00:20:57,723
>> Stephen: I DID NOT KNOW YOU
GREW UP TO A DAIRY FARM, BECAUSE
360
00:20:57,789 --> 00:21:00,425
YOU WERE MILKING THAT CROWD.
361
00:21:00,492 --> 00:21:04,029
>> THEY DO UNDERSTAND I'M NOT
PRINCE HARRY, CORRECT.
362
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,163
>> Stephen: I CAN SEE IT.
363
00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:06,431
I CAN SEE IT.
364
00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:09,034
YOU HAVE A REGALIGATE.
365
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,369
YOU'RE IMPERIALLY SLIM.
366
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,004
CHRIS, IT'S LOVELY TO HAVE YOU
HERE.
367
00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:18,777
WHO WOULD I MORE WANT ON DAY
THIEF OF KEVIN McCARTHY-GEDON.
368
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:25,250
>> AS YOU CALLED IT IN YOUR
MONOLOGUE, YOU COULD NOT BE
369
00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:26,351
HAPPIER, COULD YOU?
370
00:21:26,418 --> 00:21:27,452
>> Stephen: NO.
371
00:21:27,519 --> 00:21:29,588
>> I MEAN, THE COUNTRY --
>> Stephen: THE BIRTH OF MY
372
00:21:29,655 --> 00:21:33,125
CHILDREN AND THIS IS.
373
00:21:33,191 --> 00:21:34,326
JUST FANTASTIC.
374
00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:35,861
>> YOU HAVE ONE-THIRD OF THE
GOVERNMENT IN OPERATION AND FOR
375
00:21:35,927 --> 00:21:36,928
YOU-- LOOK AT YOU.
376
00:21:36,995 --> 00:21:40,098
YOU'RE JUST-- YOU'RE JUST--
BESIDE YOURSELF.
377
00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:43,635
>> Stephen: IT JUST SAYS TO ME
THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A GOD
378
00:21:43,702 --> 00:21:46,872
WHO PAYS ATTENTION TO PEOPLE
LIKE KEVIN McCARTHY, WHO ARE
379
00:21:46,938 --> 00:21:49,808
OVERT HYPOCRITES, WHO CLEARLY
SOLD THEIR SOUL FOR POLITICAL
380
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,843
POWER AND GET NOTHING IN RETURN.
381
00:21:51,910 --> 00:21:55,180
( APPLAUSE )
IT JUST MAKES ME HAPPY THAT
382
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:57,115
THERE IS SUCH A THING AS KARMA.
383
00:21:57,182 --> 00:21:58,016
HOW ABOUT THAT?
384
00:21:58,083 --> 00:21:59,985
>> I HAVE AN INTERESTING STORY
TO TELL YOU.
385
00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:01,153
I CAME UP ON THE TRAIN TODAY.
386
00:22:01,219 --> 00:22:01,987
>> Stephen: OKAY.
387
00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:04,022
>> FROM-- THAT'S THE END OF THE
STORY.
388
00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:05,657
NO, FROM --
>> Stephen: I'M GRIPPED SO
389
00:22:05,724 --> 00:22:06,258
FAR.
390
00:22:06,324 --> 00:22:07,359
>> FROM D.C. TO NEW YORK.
391
00:22:07,426 --> 00:22:12,097
WHEN I GOT TO NEW YORK, I
HAPPENED TO BUMP INTO NANCY
392
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:12,998
PELOSI'S DAUGHTER.
393
00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:15,400
>> Stephen: ALEXANDRA.
394
00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:17,069
>> ALEXANDRA, EXACTLY.
395
00:22:17,135 --> 00:22:19,771
SHE HAS OTHER DAUGHTERS, BUT IT
WAS ALEXANDRA.
396
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:20,972
>> Stephen: I GUESSED.
397
00:22:21,039 --> 00:22:23,675
>> WE BOTH AGREED THIS WOULD
NEVER HAPPEN UNDER NANCY PELOSI
398
00:22:23,742 --> 00:22:26,211
BECAUSE NANCY PELOSI HAD ONE
RULE WHICH WAS IF YOU DON'T HAVE
399
00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:28,613
THE VOTES, YOU DON'T GO TO THE
FLOOR.
400
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,717
SO THEY-- SHE SIMPLY WOULD HAVE
SAID, "WELL, THE HOUSE IS IN
401
00:22:31,783 --> 00:22:32,250
RECESS.
402
00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:33,385
WE'RE GOING TO WAIT."
403
00:22:33,452 --> 00:22:36,955
SHE WOULD NOT HAVE HAD 10
VOTES,s WHICH IS WHAT WE'RE AT
404
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:39,524
AS WE SPEAK RIGHT NOW.
405
00:22:39,591 --> 00:22:42,360
( APPLAUSE )
AND INCIDENTALLY, THERE IS A
406
00:22:42,427 --> 00:22:45,597
POSSIBILITY THEY MAY HAVE TO
KEEP VOTING BECAUSE THEY-- KEVIN
407
00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:49,301
McCARTHY MAY NOT HAVE ENOUGH
VOTES TO ADJOURN UNTIL TOMORROW.
408
00:22:49,367 --> 00:22:52,671
>> Stephen: RIGHT, BECAUSE THE
DEMOCRATS WANTED TO KEEP GOING--
409
00:22:52,738 --> 00:22:54,039
>> IT'S EMBARRASSING KEVIN
McCARTHY.
410
00:22:54,106 --> 00:22:55,574
AND IT'S PLEASING YOU.
411
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:56,875
>> Stephen: ME, EXACTLY.
412
00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:59,678
>> AND THE ANTI-KEVIN PEOPLE
WANT TO PLEASE YOU.
413
00:22:59,745 --> 00:23:00,378
NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
414
00:23:00,445 --> 00:23:01,313
>> Stephen: NO.
415
00:23:01,379 --> 00:23:03,749
>> BUT IN ANY CASE THERE ARE
ONLY 200 VOTES.
416
00:23:03,815 --> 00:23:07,319
THEY MAY STAY IN THERE FOREVER
JUST VOTING OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
417
00:23:07,385 --> 00:23:10,021
>> Stephen: IS THERE-- IS
THERE-- LET'S SEE, IS THERE AN
418
00:23:10,088 --> 00:23:11,256
END GAME HERE?
419
00:23:11,323 --> 00:23:13,391
DO YOU THINK HE'S GOT ANY PLAN?
420
00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:15,527
BECAUSE WHAT MORE CAN HE GIVE
AWAY?
421
00:23:15,594 --> 00:23:18,363
THEY'VE REDUCED THE SIZE OF THAT
SPEAKER'S CHAIR WITH ALL THE
422
00:23:18,430 --> 00:23:20,665
THINGS THAT HE'S GIVEN UP.
423
00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:24,736
AND HE'S LIKE,s, I'LL LOP OFF
ANYTHING TO FIT IN THAT CHAIR AT
424
00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:25,437
THIS POINT."
425
00:23:25,504 --> 00:23:27,239
>> LOOK, THAT'S THE REAL POINT.
426
00:23:27,305 --> 00:23:29,241
AT SOME POINT WE'RE GOING TO GET
A SPEAKER.
427
00:23:29,307 --> 00:23:31,877
AND, YOU KNOW, AS BAD AS IT
SEEMS RIGHT NOW, IT'S GOING TO
428
00:23:31,943 --> 00:23:34,679
BE FORGOTTEN WHAT WE WENT
THROUGH IN THE FIRST WEEK OF
429
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:35,814
JANUARY.
430
00:23:35,881 --> 00:23:37,415
BUT THERE'S GOING TO BE A
REPUBLICAN WHO IS GOING TO BE
431
00:23:37,482 --> 00:23:39,951
RUNNING THE HOUSE, AND WITH ALL
OF THE THINGS THAT KEVIN
432
00:23:40,018 --> 00:23:43,822
McCARTHY HAS GIVEN AWAY, CAN
THE HOUSE DO ANYTHING?
433
00:23:43,889 --> 00:23:46,291
FOR INSTANCE, THEY'RE GOING TO
HAVE TO AT SOME POINT PASS A
434
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:48,293
BUDGET TO KEEP THE GOVERNMENT
FUNDED.
435
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:51,530
THEY'RE GOING TO AT SOME POINT
HAVE TO RAISE THE DEBT LIMIT OR
436
00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:53,098
WE GO INTO DEFAULT.
437
00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:55,734
IF THEY CAN'T ELECT A SPEAKER,
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THEY'RE
438
00:23:55,801 --> 00:23:58,203
GOING TO BE ABLE TO TAKE THE
TOUGH VOTES TO ACTUALLY KEEP THE
439
00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:59,638
GOVERNMENT IN OPERATION?
440
00:23:59,704 --> 00:24:02,541
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK, BUT WE'LL BE RIGHT
441
00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:03,909
BACK WITH MORE CHRIS WALLACE.
442
00:24:03,975 --> 00:24:05,510
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
443
00:24:05,577 --> 00:24:06,578
♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )
444
00:24:13,985 --> 00:24:15,020
>> Stephen: THEY LIKE YOU.
445
00:24:15,086 --> 00:24:16,588
WE'RE BACK HERE RIGHT THERE.
446
00:24:16,655 --> 00:24:17,622
LOOK AT THAT.
447
00:24:17,689 --> 00:24:19,825
IT'S THE HOST OF "WHO'S TALKING
TO CHRIS WALLACE?"
448
00:24:19,891 --> 00:24:22,160
CHRIS WALLACE.
449
00:24:22,227 --> 00:24:24,629
YOU'VE COVERED POLITICS FOR--
>> YES.
450
00:24:24,696 --> 00:24:26,264
>> Stephen: 50 YEARS, LET'S
SAY.
451
00:24:26,331 --> 00:24:28,934
>> ROUGHLY.
452
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,503
>> Stephen: ROUGHLY, OKAY.
453
00:24:31,570 --> 00:24:35,106
YOU "MEET THE PRESS" TURNED 75
IN NOVEMBER.
454
00:24:35,173 --> 00:24:38,176
AND YOU WERE ONE OF ITS ANCHORS.
455
00:24:38,243 --> 00:24:43,481
AND I JUST WANT TO REMIND
PEOPLE...
456
00:24:43,548 --> 00:24:43,882
OF...
457
00:24:43,949 --> 00:24:44,516
( APPLAUSE ).
458
00:24:44,583 --> 00:24:45,784
>> SEE, THIS IS INTERESTING.
459
00:24:45,851 --> 00:24:48,286
YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO
EMBARRASS ME WITH THAT PICTURE.
460
00:24:48,353 --> 00:24:51,456
I THINK SOME OF THEM THINK, "YOU
KNOW WHAT?
461
00:24:51,523 --> 00:24:53,725
YES, IT WAS A HELMET HEAD.
462
00:24:53,792 --> 00:24:56,361
YES, THE HAIR WAS A LITTLE LONG,
BUT COME ON, GUYS.
463
00:24:56,428 --> 00:24:59,030
>> Stephen: THERE'S NOTHING
EMBARRASSING ABOUT THAT
464
00:24:59,097 --> 00:25:00,165
PHOTOGRAPH?
465
00:25:00,232 --> 00:25:07,072
>> INTENTALLY, THIS IS A FUNNY
THING, THEY SHOWED ME THE
466
00:25:07,138 --> 00:25:09,741
PICTURE BEFOREHAND, YOUR
PRODUCERS DID, LOOK AT THE TIES.
467
00:25:09,808 --> 00:25:11,509
THE TIES ARE ALMOST IDENTICAL.
468
00:25:11,576 --> 00:25:13,912
>> Stephen: THAT IS THE
CONSISTENCY WE WANT IN A CHRIS
469
00:25:13,979 --> 00:25:15,180
WALLACE.
470
00:25:15,247 --> 00:25:17,182
WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE PERSON TO
INTERVIEW IN THAT PERIOD OF TIME
471
00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:20,218
YOU WERE THE HOST, THE MOST
MEMORABLE INTERVIEW?
472
00:25:20,285 --> 00:25:23,054
>> WITHOUT ANY QUESTION, IT'S
EASY-- RICHARD M. NIXON.
473
00:25:23,121 --> 00:25:23,922
>> Stephen: WOW.
474
00:25:23,989 --> 00:25:28,827
>> HE CAME ON IN 1987 OR-- '88,
I THINK.
475
00:25:28,894 --> 00:25:33,164
AND IT WAS TOM BROKAW, JOHN
CHANCELLOR AND ME INTERVIEWING
476
00:25:33,231 --> 00:25:34,332
RICHARD NIXON.
477
00:25:34,399 --> 00:25:37,068
IT WAS THE FIRST TIME HE'D BEEN
ON SINCE BEFORE HE BECAME
478
00:25:37,135 --> 00:25:39,604
PRESIDENT, AND CERTAINLY,
OBVIOUSLY, SINCE WATERGATE.
479
00:25:39,671 --> 00:25:43,408
AND ONE OF THE THINGS I'D HEARD
AFTERWARDS, WHICH FASCINATED ME,
480
00:25:43,475 --> 00:25:47,946
IS THAT TO PREPARE-- I MEAN,
HE'S BEEN THROWN OUT OF OFFICE,
481
00:25:48,013 --> 00:25:51,416
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TO HIM--
HE WROTE DOWN EVERY QUESTION HE
482
00:25:51,483 --> 00:25:54,886
THOUGHT WE WOULD ASK AND WROTE
OUT ON A LEGAL PAD EVERY ANSWER
483
00:25:54,953 --> 00:25:56,821
TO THE QUESTION AND BASICALLY
MEMORIZED IT.
484
00:25:56,888 --> 00:26:00,225
THAT WAS THE KIND OF PRECISION--
I WILL TELL YOU ONE OTHER THING
485
00:26:00,292 --> 00:26:01,159
ABOUT HIM.
486
00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:03,261
HE MADE A BUNCH OF PREDICTIONS
ON THAT SHOW.
487
00:26:03,328 --> 00:26:04,930
THEY WERE ALL REALLY COVERAGENT.
488
00:26:04,996 --> 00:26:08,266
THEY WERE ALL FASCINATING AND
INFORMED.
489
00:26:08,333 --> 00:26:09,267
THEY WERE ALL WRONG.
490
00:26:09,334 --> 00:26:10,368
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.
491
00:26:10,435 --> 00:26:12,103
>> Stephen: DO YOU REMEMBER
ANY OF THEM?
492
00:26:12,170 --> 00:26:14,239
LIKE WHAT WAS HE WRONG ABOUT?
493
00:26:14,306 --> 00:26:19,344
>> HE WAS WRONG ABOUT A SUPREME
COURT JUSTICE.
494
00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:22,247
HE WAS WRONG ABOUT WHO WAS GOING
T WIN THE WORLD SERIES.
495
00:26:22,314 --> 00:26:24,316
YOU NAME TRICHARD NIXON WAS
WRONG.
496
00:26:24,382 --> 00:26:25,250
BUT HE WAS SMART.
497
00:26:25,317 --> 00:26:27,652
>> Stephen: DID YOU BELIEVE
HIM AT THE TIME.
498
00:26:27,719 --> 00:26:29,854
DID YOU GO, THAT GUY KNOWS WHAT
HE'S TALKING ABOUT.
499
00:26:29,921 --> 00:26:33,358
>> I DON'T THINK I'D SAY I EVER
BELIEVED RICHARD NIXON.
500
00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:35,927
>> Stephen: YOU SPENT 20 YEARS
INTERVIEWING POLITICIANS ON YOUR
501
00:26:35,994 --> 00:26:36,227
SUNDAY SHOW.
502
00:26:36,294 --> 00:26:37,462
>> YES.
503
00:26:37,529 --> 00:26:43,768
>> Stephen: AND NOW YOU'VE GOT
THE NEW SHOW GOING INTO INTO THE
504
00:26:43,835 --> 00:26:44,602
SECOND SEASON ""LOOK WHO'S
TALKING TO CHRIS WALLACE."
505
00:26:44,669 --> 00:26:45,236
IT'S "WHO'S TALKING TO CHRIS
WALLACE?"
506
00:26:45,303 --> 00:26:50,942
>> Stephen: THERE'S NO LOOK?
507
00:26:51,009 --> 00:26:52,944
>> YOU THINK IT WOULD BE BETTER
AS "LOOK WHO'S TALKING TO CHRIS
508
00:26:53,011 --> 00:26:54,079
WALLACE?"
>> Stephen: MAYBE.
509
00:26:54,145 --> 00:26:59,884
>> WE'LL PROBABLY SPEND A
MILLION DOLLARS ON MARKETING.
510
00:26:59,951 --> 00:27:01,052
ANYWAY, "WHO'S TALKING TO CHRIS
WALLACE?"
511
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,989
WE DID 10 WEEKS, 30 GUESTS, AND
WE'RE BEGINNING SEASON TWO
512
00:27:04,055 --> 00:27:11,329
TOMORROW WITH JAMES CAMERON,
ABOUT AVATAR.
513
00:27:11,396 --> 00:27:14,799
WHAT'S FASCINATING IS IT HAS
BECOME A BUSINESS STORY NOW
514
00:27:14,866 --> 00:27:18,703
WHICH IS IS HE GOING TO MAKE
ENOUGH MONEY TO MAKE AVATAR 3,
515
00:27:18,770 --> 00:27:19,571
4, AND 5?
516
00:27:19,637 --> 00:27:20,705
AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE IS.
517
00:27:20,772 --> 00:27:23,208
>> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW HOW
MUCH MONEY HE HAS TO MAKE TO
518
00:27:23,274 --> 00:27:24,376
MAKE THE REST?
519
00:27:24,442 --> 00:27:28,513
>> HE SAID SOMETHING BETWEEN
$1.5 BILLION-- WHICH HE MADE--
520
00:27:28,580 --> 00:27:29,314
AND $2 BILLION.
521
00:27:29,381 --> 00:27:30,015
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU SEEN THE
MOVIE?
522
00:27:30,081 --> 00:27:30,982
>> I HAVE SEEN IT.
523
00:27:31,049 --> 00:27:31,983
>> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU
THINK?
524
00:27:32,050 --> 00:27:34,419
>> I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY GOOD
AND A LITTLE LONG.
525
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,321
>> Stephen: ARE YOU GOING TO
SAY THAT TO HIM?
526
00:27:36,388 --> 00:27:38,223
DO YOU SAY THAT TO HIM IN THE
INTERVIEW?
527
00:27:38,289 --> 00:27:40,692
>> I HAVE ALREADY INTERVIEWED
HIM.
528
00:27:40,759 --> 00:27:41,693
>> Stephen: DID YOU SAY THAT?
529
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:43,261
>> I SAID HALF OF THAT TO HIM.
530
00:27:43,328 --> 00:27:45,263
>> Stephen: CAN I JUST GUESS
WHICH HALF?
531
00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:53,872
( APPLAUSE )
>> AND HUGH HUGH JACKMAN.
532
00:27:53,938 --> 00:27:56,741
>> Stephen: THESE ARE REALLY
GOOD GUESTS.
533
00:27:56,808 --> 00:28:00,512
"LOOK WHO'S TALKING TO CHRIS
WALLACE."
534
00:28:00,578 --> 00:28:02,547
>> "WHO'S TALKING TO CHRIS
WALLACE?"
535
00:28:02,614 --> 00:28:04,449
CAN I BRING SOMETHING UP HERE.
536
00:28:04,516 --> 00:28:05,550
>> Stephen: SURE, GO AHEAD.
537
00:28:05,617 --> 00:28:07,852
>> THE LAST TIME I WAS ON THE
SHOW IT WAS MARCH 27.
538
00:28:07,919 --> 00:28:14,926
>> Stephen: I REMEMBER IT
WELL.
539
00:28:14,993 --> 00:28:16,194
CNN+ STILL EXISTED.
540
00:28:16,261 --> 00:28:19,097
THANK YOU, THERE IS THE ONE
VIEWER OF CNN+.
541
00:28:19,164 --> 00:28:23,468
IT WAS THE DAY BEFORE THE SHOW
WAS GOING TO DEBUT, AND YOU AND
542
00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:26,037
I HAD A CONVERSATION BECAUSE WE
WERE TALKING ABOUT BOOKING AND
543
00:28:26,104 --> 00:28:28,206
HOW IMPORTANT IT IS --
>> Stephen: ON AIR WE WERE
544
00:28:28,273 --> 00:28:28,706
TALKING?
545
00:28:28,773 --> 00:28:29,507
>> YES, IT EXIST S.
546
00:28:29,574 --> 00:28:30,341
>> Stephen: THIS IS ON TAPE.
547
00:28:30,408 --> 00:28:31,543
>> YES.
548
00:28:31,609 --> 00:28:35,413
>> AND I SAID, "YOU KNOW WHO I
WOULD REALLY LIKE TO HAVE AS A
549
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,116
GUEST, YOU?"
AND YOU SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT?"
550
00:28:38,183 --> 00:28:42,720
AND YOU SHOOK MY HAND," AND
SAID, "IT'S A DEAL."
551
00:28:42,787 --> 00:28:48,093
SINCE THEN WE HAVE TALKED TO HIS
IS EXECUTIVE PRODUCER, AND WE
552
00:28:48,159 --> 00:28:51,463
KEEP HEARING-- HIS SCHEDULE IS
SUCH.
553
00:28:51,529 --> 00:28:53,631
THIS HAS BEEN SINCE LAST MARCH
AND HE CAN'T DO IT.
554
00:28:53,698 --> 00:28:56,768
YOU TELL A FEW JOKES, YOU ASK A
FEW QUESTIONS THAT SOMEBODY
555
00:28:56,835 --> 00:29:00,105
WROTE OUT FOR YOU, YOUR SCHEDULE
IS SUCH THAT YOU CAN'T COME ON
556
00:29:00,171 --> 00:29:01,639
AND DO-- THE BAND!
557
00:29:01,706 --> 00:29:04,609
THE BAND HAS TURNED ON YOU!
558
00:29:04,676 --> 00:29:09,581
YOU CAN'T COME ON FOR HALF AN
HOUR TO-- AND I'LL TELL YOU
559
00:29:09,647 --> 00:29:10,782
WHAT.
560
00:29:10,849 --> 00:29:13,518
WE WILL CHANGE THE NAME OF THE
SHOW TO "LOOK WHO'S TALKING TO
561
00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:14,719
CHRIS WALLACE."
562
00:29:14,786 --> 00:29:19,324
>> Stephen: CHRIS, "IT'S A
DEAL!
563
00:29:19,390 --> 00:29:20,125
( APPLAUSE ).
564
00:29:20,191 --> 00:29:22,327
>> AND WE KNOW WHAT THAT'S
WORTH.
565
00:29:22,393 --> 00:29:23,628
>> Stephen: 100-- YOU BETCHA.
566
00:29:23,695 --> 00:29:27,332
IT'S WHAT I CALL A TV PROMISE,
CHRIS.
567
00:29:27,398 --> 00:29:28,566
YOU BETCHA.
568
00:29:28,633 --> 00:29:31,503
DID YOU-- NOW, WOULD YOU EVER
WANT TO DO A SUNDAY SHOW AGAIN?
569
00:29:31,569 --> 00:29:34,873
BECAUSE YOU WERE SO GOOD AT
DOING THE SUNDAY SHOW.
570
00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:37,008
WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO GO BACK
AND DO THAT?
571
00:29:37,075 --> 00:29:39,577
YOU GET TO TALK TO THE NEWS
MAKERS AND EVERYTHING?
572
00:29:39,644 --> 00:29:42,313
>> BECAUSE, ONE, IT'S SUNDAY
MORNINGS.
573
00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:44,816
GETTING UP EARLY, I DID IT FOR
18 YEARS.
574
00:29:44,883 --> 00:29:47,552
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH, YOU DO
THAT STUFF LIVE.
575
00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:48,953
>> YEAH, YEAH IT'S CALLED NEWS.
576
00:29:49,020 --> 00:29:50,655
>> Stephen: WE PRETAPE.
577
00:29:50,722 --> 00:29:51,890
WE PRETAPE.
578
00:29:51,956 --> 00:29:55,727
>> HONESTLY, AFTER 18 YEARS OF
DOING IT AND, LIKE, ONE WEEK IT
579
00:29:55,793 --> 00:29:59,531
WOULD BE WHAT HAPPENED IN THE
"BUILD BACK BETTER BILL" TODAY
580
00:29:59,597 --> 00:30:02,834
AS OPPOSED TO LAST WEEK, AND
INCREMENTAL CHANGE.
581
00:30:02,901 --> 00:30:04,068
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
582
00:30:04,135 --> 00:30:06,938
>> TO BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN WITH A
JAMES CAMERON, "HUGH JACKMAN,
583
00:30:07,005 --> 00:30:10,508
JANE FONDA WHO WE'RE GOING TO
DO, YOU KNOW, YOU GET REAL
584
00:30:10,575 --> 00:30:17,949
PEOPLE IN REAL MOMENTS, AND YOU
HAVE REAL DISCUSSIONS.
585
00:30:18,016 --> 00:30:20,818
AND, YES, OF COURSE, THEY'VE
TALKED TO HIR PUBLICIST, BUT IT
586
00:30:20,885 --> 00:30:23,955
DOESN'T SEEM LIKE THEY'RE JUST
FILLED WITH SCRIPTING, TALKING
587
00:30:24,022 --> 00:30:25,223
POINTS.
588
00:30:25,290 --> 00:30:27,992
AND THE-- YOU KNOW, AT A CERTAIN
POINT, PEOPLE FORGET THE LIGHTS,
589
00:30:28,059 --> 00:30:30,094
AND WE TALK FOR HALF AN HOUR.
590
00:30:30,161 --> 00:30:31,429
PEOPLE FORGET THE LIGHTS.
591
00:30:31,496 --> 00:30:32,363
THEY FORGET CAMERAS.
592
00:30:32,430 --> 00:30:34,666
AND MAYBE YOU GET A REAL MOMENT.
593
00:30:34,732 --> 00:30:35,500
>> Stephen: WOW.
594
00:30:35,567 --> 00:30:37,635
>> LIKE YOU AND I ARE HAVING
RIGHT NOW.
595
00:30:37,702 --> 00:30:40,338
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THE FIRST
THING YOU WOULD WANT TO ASK ME
596
00:30:40,405 --> 00:30:42,040
IF I CAME ON THE SHOW?
597
00:30:42,106 --> 00:30:43,274
SELL ME.
598
00:30:43,341 --> 00:30:47,812
>> WHY THE HELL DID YOU NOT KEEP
YOUR PROMISE FROM LAST MARCH?
599
00:30:47,879 --> 00:30:48,680
( APPLAUSE ).
600
00:30:48,746 --> 00:30:49,914
>> Stephen: HEY, HEY, NOW WAIT
A SECOND!
601
00:30:49,981 --> 00:30:53,751
I DIDN'T SAY I WOULD COME ON IN
SEASON ONE OR TWO OR THREE OR
602
00:30:53,818 --> 00:30:54,686
FOUR.
603
00:30:54,752 --> 00:30:57,455
>> WELL, ARE YOU COMING CAN,s
ON SEASON TWO.
604
00:30:57,522 --> 00:30:59,791
>> Stephen: LET'S... LET'S SEE
HOW THE SHOW GOES.
605
00:30:59,857 --> 00:31:01,593
I THINK YOU'RE NEVER GOING OFF
THE AIR, CHRIS.
606
00:31:01,659 --> 00:31:04,529
I THINK I COULD KEEP THIS
PROMISE 10 YEARS FROM NOW.
607
00:31:04,596 --> 00:31:09,934
THAT'S HOW CONFIDENT I AM IN
"WHO IS TALKING TO CHRIS
608
00:31:10,001 --> 00:31:10,768
WALLACE."
609
00:31:10,835 --> 00:31:12,670
>> YOU GOT THE NAME OF THE SHOW
RIGHT.
610
00:31:12,737 --> 00:31:13,838
>> Stephen: IS THAT WHAT IT'S
CALLED?
611
00:31:13,905 --> 00:31:14,639
>> YES.
612
00:31:14,706 --> 00:31:15,173
>> Stephen: I DON'T LIKE THAT
NAME.
613
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:16,941
I WILL SEE YOU THERE.
614
00:31:17,008 --> 00:31:18,309
WHERE DO YOU GUYS TAPE?
615
00:31:18,376 --> 00:31:21,980
>> WELL, RIGHT DOWN IN HUDSON
YARD S.
616
00:31:22,046 --> 00:31:24,315
>> Stephen: OOOH.
617
00:31:24,382 --> 00:31:26,684
THAT'S A LONG WAY AWAY.
618
00:31:26,751 --> 00:31:29,954
20 BLOCKS.
619
00:31:30,021 --> 00:31:34,425
SEASON TWO OF "WHO'S TALKING TO
CHRIS WALLACE?" STARRING STEPHEN
620
00:31:34,492 --> 00:31:36,494
COLBERT, STARTS TOMORROW ON HBO
MAX AND SUNDAY ON CNN.
621
00:32:01,986 --> 00:32:04,922
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW,"
622
00:32:04,989 --> 00:32:07,125
ALREADY IN PROGRESS.
623
00:32:07,191 --> 00:32:10,094
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT
GUEST IS A SINGER AND ACTOR YOU
624
00:32:10,161 --> 00:32:11,129
KNOW FROM "WILD ROSE,"
"CHERNOBYL," AND "THE LOST
625
00:32:11,195 --> 00:32:11,929
DAUGHTER."
626
00:32:11,996 --> 00:32:15,233
HER LATEST FILM IS "WOMEN
TALKING."
627
00:32:15,300 --> 00:32:17,769
>> I WANT TO STAY AND FIGHT.
628
00:32:17,835 --> 00:32:21,439
>> WON'T WE LOSE THE FIGHT TO
THE MEN AND BE FORCED TO FORGIVE
629
00:32:21,506 --> 00:32:22,173
THEM ANYWAY?
630
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:23,107
>> I WANT TO STAY AND FIGHT,
TOO.
631
00:32:23,174 --> 00:32:24,809
>> NO ONE IS SURPRISED YOU DO.
632
00:32:24,876 --> 00:32:26,077
ALL YOU DO IS FIGHT.
633
00:32:26,144 --> 00:32:29,580
>> IS THIS REALLY HOW WE ARE TO
DECIDE THE FATE OF ALL THE WOMEN
634
00:32:29,647 --> 00:32:33,184
IN THIS COLONY, JUST ANOTHER
VOTE WHERE WE PUT AN "X" NEXT TO
635
00:32:33,251 --> 00:32:34,118
OUR POSITION?
636
00:32:34,185 --> 00:32:35,253
I THOUGHT WE WERE HERE TO DO
MORE THAN THAT.
637
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,356
>> YOU MEAN TALK MORE ABOUT
FORGIVING THE MEN AND DOING
638
00:32:38,423 --> 00:32:39,023
NOTHING.
639
00:32:39,090 --> 00:32:40,558
>> EVERYTHING ELSE IS INSANE.
640
00:32:40,625 --> 00:32:42,493
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BACK
TO "THE LATE SHOW," JESSIE
641
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:47,231
BUCKLEY!
642
00:32:47,298 --> 00:32:48,199
♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ).
643
00:32:48,266 --> 00:32:54,439
>> HI!
644
00:32:54,505 --> 00:32:59,277
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HEY.
645
00:32:59,344 --> 00:33:00,378
LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
646
00:33:00,445 --> 00:33:02,680
>> OH, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU,
TOO.
647
00:33:02,747 --> 00:33:05,316
>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR
BRING SOMETHING SPRINGTIME INTO
648
00:33:05,383 --> 00:33:06,384
THE BLEAK MIDWINTER.
649
00:33:06,451 --> 00:33:08,820
>> I THOUGHT WE'RE JUST GOING TO
HAVE FUN THIS YEAR.
650
00:33:08,886 --> 00:33:11,556
>> Stephen: LISTEN, WE HAVEN'T
SEEN YOU SINCE 2019.
651
00:33:11,622 --> 00:33:12,757
>> WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING?
652
00:33:12,824 --> 00:33:13,791
>> NOT MUCH.
653
00:33:13,858 --> 00:33:14,892
IT'S BEEN KIND OF AVERAGE.
654
00:33:14,959 --> 00:33:17,362
YOU WERE ON FOR "WILD ROSE."
655
00:33:17,428 --> 00:33:18,596
YOU CAME AND PERFORMED.
656
00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:20,331
IT'S LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
657
00:33:20,398 --> 00:33:24,402
I'VE SEEN YOU IN "THE LOST
DAUGHTER," "CHERNOBLE," "ROMEO
658
00:33:24,469 --> 00:33:25,470
AND JULIETTE."
659
00:33:25,536 --> 00:33:26,104
NOW "WOMEN TALKING."
660
00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:27,839
HOW WERE YOUR HOLIDAYS?
661
00:33:27,905 --> 00:33:29,006
LET'S START THERE.
662
00:33:29,073 --> 00:33:33,077
WE JUST HAD KIND OF A NORMAL
POST-COVID CHRISTMAS.
663
00:33:33,144 --> 00:33:34,045
DID YOU GUYS HAVE A GOOD TIME?
664
00:33:34,112 --> 00:33:35,246
>> YEAH.
665
00:33:35,313 --> 00:33:39,450
I WENT BACK TO IRELAND FOR THE
FIRST TIME FOR CHRISTMAS SINCE
666
00:33:39,517 --> 00:33:40,585
THE PANDEMIC.
667
00:33:40,651 --> 00:33:47,191
>> Stephen: SO IT'S THREE
CHRISTMASES SINCE YOU'VE BEEN.
668
00:33:47,258 --> 00:33:48,493
WHERE ARE YOU FROM AGAIN?
669
00:33:48,559 --> 00:33:49,127
>> KERRY.
670
00:33:49,193 --> 00:33:50,027
>> Stephen: I'VE BEEN THERE.
671
00:33:50,094 --> 00:33:50,828
IT'S VERY BEAUTIFUL.
672
00:33:50,895 --> 00:33:51,629
IT'S VERY BEAUTIFUL.
673
00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:53,364
YOU HAVE TRADITIONS IN YOUR
FAMILY?
674
00:33:53,431 --> 00:33:55,032
>> OH, YEAH.
675
00:33:55,099 --> 00:34:00,071
SLIGHTLY ODD TRADITIONS, LIKE MY
BOYFRIEND, WHEN HE CAME BACK FOR
676
00:34:00,138 --> 00:34:02,774
CHRISTMAS FOUR YEARS AGO, HE --
>> Stephen: IS HE IRISH?
677
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:03,775
>> HE'S BRITISH.
678
00:34:03,841 --> 00:34:05,042
>> Stephen: OH, OKAY.
679
00:34:05,109 --> 00:34:10,615
>> MY GRANDMOTHER USED TO ALWAYS
GIVE HIM AN IRISH NAME.
680
00:34:10,681 --> 00:34:16,220
ALL MY ENGLISH BOYFRIENDS WHO
CAME HOME WERE CALLED SEAMUS.
681
00:34:16,287 --> 00:34:17,221
WHATEVER THEIR NAME WAS.
682
00:34:17,288 --> 00:34:19,023
>> Stephen: JUST TO MAKE HER
FEEL BETTER?
683
00:34:19,090 --> 00:34:21,459
>> IT'S A TERM OF ENDEMOCRATIC,
KIND OF.
684
00:34:21,526 --> 00:34:23,227
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, SURE.
685
00:34:23,294 --> 00:34:27,398
>> THE FIRST CHRISTMAS HE CAME
BACK EATS LET'S SHOW YOU AN
686
00:34:27,465 --> 00:34:28,733
IRISH CHRISTMAS.
687
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,802
WE BROUGHT HIM TO THE BAR.
688
00:34:30,868 --> 00:34:34,605
AND IT WAS A KIND OF PROPER
KNEES UP, FIDDLES, PEOPLE
689
00:34:34,672 --> 00:34:35,606
JUMPING OVER BROOM STICKS.
690
00:34:35,673 --> 00:34:37,675
AND HE SAID OH, MY GOD.
691
00:34:37,742 --> 00:34:40,511
I'VE ARRIVED IN IRELAND FOR
CHRISTMAS.
692
00:34:40,578 --> 00:34:41,712
IT'S AMAZING.
693
00:34:41,779 --> 00:34:44,449
AND WE WENT TO THE BRIG FAMILY
CHRISTMAS PARTY AND HE OPENED
694
00:34:44,515 --> 00:34:48,753
THE DOOR AND IT WAS MEXICAN
THEMED AND HE WAS SO CONFUSED.
695
00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:54,725
THEY WERE ALL SINGING "FE LIZ
NAVID."
696
00:34:54,792 --> 00:35:01,632
AND EVERY TIME ANYBODY OPENED A
PRESENT THEY WERE SINGING FELIZ
697
00:35:01,699 --> 00:35:02,700
NAVIDAD.
698
00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:04,502
>> Stephen: WAS CHRISTMAS ON
TACO TUESDAY THAT YEAR?
699
00:35:04,569 --> 00:35:06,604
WHY DID YOUR FAMILY DO THIS?
700
00:35:06,671 --> 00:35:08,706
IT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF FUN.
701
00:35:08,773 --> 00:35:10,241
WHAT WAS THE IMPETUS.
702
00:35:10,308 --> 00:35:11,142
JUST SOMETHING DIFFERENT?
703
00:35:11,209 --> 00:35:14,479
>> MY UNCLE HAD LIVED IN TEXAS
FOR A WHILE.
704
00:35:14,545 --> 00:35:18,749
( APPLAUSE )
AND CAN I SAY ANYTHING AND
705
00:35:18,816 --> 00:35:22,653
YOU'LL SAY, WOOO!
706
00:35:22,720 --> 00:35:24,655
ANY PLACE,s NEW YORK!
707
00:35:24,722 --> 00:35:25,423
WOOO!
708
00:35:25,490 --> 00:35:27,325
AND SO I THINK HE BROUGHT IT
OVER.
709
00:35:27,391 --> 00:35:29,126
AND IT'S GREAT FUN.
710
00:35:29,193 --> 00:35:32,497
I'M ALL INTO KIND OF
MEXICAN-IRISH CHRISTMAS.
711
00:35:32,563 --> 00:35:36,033
>> Stephen: CURRENTLY, YOU'RE
ONE OF THE STARS OF THIS
712
00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:40,204
EXTRAORDINARY ENSEMBLE FILM,
MAYBE ONE OF THE MOST ENSEMBLE
713
00:35:40,271 --> 00:35:43,241
PERFORMANCES I'VE EVER SEEN
CALLED "WOMEN TALKING."
714
00:35:43,307 --> 00:35:43,941
AND IT'S.
715
00:35:44,008 --> 00:35:47,678
- - IT'S A FASCINATING MOVIE.
716
00:35:47,745 --> 00:35:49,480
IT'S A CHALLENGING MOVIE.
717
00:35:49,547 --> 00:35:51,215
IT'S A DARK STORY.
718
00:35:51,282 --> 00:35:54,285
TELL THE PEOPLE-- I BELIEVE IT'S
BASED ON A TRUE STORY.
719
00:35:54,352 --> 00:35:57,188
I SPOKE TO THE DIRECTOR SARAH
POLLEY WHEN HE WAS ON HERE ABOUT
720
00:35:57,255 --> 00:35:58,256
IT.
721
00:35:58,322 --> 00:35:59,824
IT'S BASED ON A TRUE STORY, BUT
IT'S SORT OF RESET.
722
00:35:59,891 --> 00:36:01,592
TELL THE PEOPLE WHAT IT'S ABOUT.
723
00:36:01,659 --> 00:36:06,230
>> SO IT WAS BASED ON-- THERE
WAS AN ARTICLE THAT CAME OUT IN
724
00:36:06,297 --> 00:36:09,667
"VICE" MAGAZINE ABOUT THIS
MENNONITE COMMUNITY IN BOLIVIA
725
00:36:09,734 --> 00:36:13,204
WHERE THE WOMEN HAD BEEN TOLD
THEY-- THEY WOKE UP AND IN THE
726
00:36:13,271 --> 00:36:15,573
MORNING THERE WAS BLOOD ALL OVER
THEM AND THEY HAD NO
727
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:16,774
RECOLLECTION OF WHAT HAD
HAPPENED.
728
00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:18,743
AND THEY WERE TOLD BY THE
COMMUNITY AND THE ELDERS IN THE
729
00:36:18,809 --> 00:36:23,214
COMMUNITY THAT THEY-- IT WAS
DREAMS AND IT WAS THE DEVIL
730
00:36:23,281 --> 00:36:24,448
VISITING THEM IN THE NIGHT.
731
00:36:24,515 --> 00:36:27,985
AND ONE OF THE YOUNGER PEOPLE
DISCOVERED THAT SOME OF THE MEN
732
00:36:28,052 --> 00:36:34,058
WERE CREEPING INTO THEIR ROOMS
IN THE NIGHT TIME AND
733
00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:36,060
TRANQUILIZING THEM WITH COW
TRANQUILIZER.
734
00:36:36,127 --> 00:36:39,230
THE MEN WERE BROUGHT TO
COMMUNITY BUT BECAUSE OF THEIR
735
00:36:39,297 --> 00:36:41,966
FAITH IN COMMUNITY, THEY WERE--
THE MEN WENT TO BAIL THE OTHER
736
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:45,369
MEN OUT AND SAID, "IF YOU WANT
TO GO TO HEAVEN, YOU HAVE TO
737
00:36:45,436 --> 00:36:47,238
FORGIVE THESE MEN."
738
00:36:47,305 --> 00:36:50,207
SO WHILE THEY WERE AWAY, THESE
WOMEN HELD A MEETING IN AN ATTIC
739
00:36:50,274 --> 00:36:53,544
OVER THREE DAYS WHERE THEY
DEBATED WHETHER TO STAY AND
740
00:36:53,611 --> 00:36:56,514
FIGHT, TO LEAVE, OR TO DO
NOTHING.
741
00:36:56,581 --> 00:37:02,086
AND SO THE STORY IS ABOUT THIS
GROUP OF WOMEN BASICALLY
742
00:37:02,153 --> 00:37:04,121
EMBARKING ON THAT KIND OF
CONVERSATION.
743
00:37:04,188 --> 00:37:07,525
>> Stephen: I'M CURIOUS ABOUT
THE APPLICABILITY OF WHAT I
744
00:37:07,592 --> 00:37:09,927
LEARNED FROM WOMEN TALKING ABOUT
HOW WOMEN TALK.
745
00:37:09,994 --> 00:37:12,196
( LAUGHTER )
AND I MEAN THAT SEMISERIOUSLY.
746
00:37:12,263 --> 00:37:14,832
IT'S NOT ALWAYS THAT SUBJECT,
THAT HEAVY.
747
00:37:14,899 --> 00:37:18,302
AND THERE IS ONE MAN, AUGUST,
THERE IS ONE CHARACTER THERE,
748
00:37:18,369 --> 00:37:24,175
SORT OF A STENOGRAPHER OF WHOOPS
HAPPENING, HELPING YOU MAKE UP
749
00:37:24,241 --> 00:37:25,309
YOUR MIND.
750
00:37:25,376 --> 00:37:28,813
HOW DO WOMEN TALK, IN YOUR
OPINION, WHEN THERE ARE NO MEN
751
00:37:28,879 --> 00:37:29,780
AROUND?
752
00:37:29,847 --> 00:37:31,482
>> UHM, I DON'T KNOW.
753
00:37:31,549 --> 00:37:32,683
ACTUALLY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT?
754
00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:36,320
THIS IS KIND OF-- PARTLY WHAT
DREW ME TO "WOMEN TALKING" WAS
755
00:37:36,387 --> 00:37:39,390
THAT I'D NEVER REALLY EXPLORED
THE COMPLEXITIES OF FEMALE
756
00:37:39,457 --> 00:37:41,292
FRIENDSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIPS.
757
00:37:41,359 --> 00:37:46,530
AND THERE'S SO MUCH UNSAID ABOUT
THAT KIND OF DYNAMIC, YOU KNOW.
758
00:37:46,597 --> 00:37:47,732
WE'RE OFTEN...
759
00:37:47,798 --> 00:37:52,336
WE OFTEN ARE KIND OF REPLICATING
THINGS AND PUT THINGS UNDER.
760
00:37:52,403 --> 00:37:55,072
BUT IT'S A REAL BEATING THING.
761
00:37:55,139 --> 00:37:59,944
IT'S COMPLICATED AND HAS
CONFLICT AND HAS JEALOUSY.
762
00:38:00,011 --> 00:38:02,713
>> Stephen: YOUR CHARACTERS
ARE NOT IN A HURRY TO BE
763
00:38:02,780 --> 00:38:04,181
FRIENDS, EITHER.
764
00:38:04,248 --> 00:38:07,952
>> NO, I GUESS SHE HAS A LOT OF
FEAR, YOU KNOW.
765
00:38:08,019 --> 00:38:09,754
AND --
>> Stephen: WHICH COMES OUT AS
766
00:38:09,820 --> 00:38:11,022
ANGER.
767
00:38:11,088 --> 00:38:15,626
>> YEAH, IT COMES OUT AS-- YEAH,
ANGER, I GUESS, AND CYNICISM, I
768
00:38:15,693 --> 00:38:16,827
GUESS.
769
00:38:16,894 --> 00:38:20,698
AND IN A WAY, SHE'S LEARNED TO
SURVIVE HER PAIN BY HOPING FOR
770
00:38:20,765 --> 00:38:22,767
SOMETHING BETTER IN THE NEXT
LIFE.
771
00:38:22,833 --> 00:38:26,737
AND WHAT SHE COMES TO UNLEARN
ABOUT HERSELF IS THAT ACTUALLY
772
00:38:26,804 --> 00:38:29,306
THERE'S ENOUGH TO HOPE FOR IN
THE LIFE THAT SHE'S LIVING AND
773
00:38:29,373 --> 00:38:33,811
WITHIN THIS COMMUNITY AND WITHIN
THIS CONVERSATION, IN SOME WAY
774
00:38:33,878 --> 00:38:36,313
SHEDS THE SKIN THAT SHE'S ALWAYS
CARRIED.
775
00:38:36,380 --> 00:38:37,782
>> Stephen: ONE LAST THING,
AND--
776
00:38:37,848 --> 00:38:39,250
>> AND THAT'S IT.
777
00:38:39,316 --> 00:38:40,217
NO, I'M JOKING.
778
00:38:40,284 --> 00:38:46,624
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: WELL, THAT'S JUST
779
00:38:46,691 --> 00:38:48,592
IT IS THE THING.
780
00:38:48,659 --> 00:38:52,697
SO YOU WERE GREAT IN "WILD
ROSE."
781
00:38:52,763 --> 00:38:54,732
YOU WERE GREAT IN "CHERNOBLE."
782
00:38:54,799 --> 00:38:57,835
YOU WERE GREAT IN "ROMEO AND
JULIETTE."
783
00:38:57,902 --> 00:38:59,937
YOU WERE GREAT IN "THE LOST
DAUGHTER."
784
00:39:00,004 --> 00:39:00,705
THIS IS PRETTY HEAVY.
785
00:39:00,771 --> 00:39:03,374
BUT YOU'RE A BUBBLING FONT OF
JOY.
786
00:39:03,441 --> 00:39:09,480
DID YOU EVER WANT TO BE A
ROM-COM, SOMETHING LIGHT?
787
00:39:09,547 --> 00:39:13,117
I THINK ROM-COMS ARE FRIVOLOUS.
788
00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:13,884
YOU'RE SO FUNNY.
789
00:39:13,951 --> 00:39:15,352
>> I'M HILARIOUS!
790
00:39:15,419 --> 00:39:17,421
>> Stephen: YOU ARE.
791
00:39:17,488 --> 00:39:18,389
NO.
792
00:39:18,456 --> 00:39:19,623
( APPLAUSE )
DON'T YOU WANT TO-- DID YOU EVER
793
00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:23,227
WANT TO BE THE KIND OF, LIKE,
FUN LOVE INTEREST IN SOMETHING?
794
00:39:23,294 --> 00:39:28,065
>> YEAH, ACTUALLY, LAST SUMMER I
DEFINITELY FELT HUNGRY FOR THAT.
795
00:39:28,132 --> 00:39:34,905
AND I JUST FINISHED FILMING A
FILM CALLED "WICKED LITTLE
796
00:39:34,972 --> 00:39:39,577
LETTERS" WITH OLIVIA COLMAN, AND
SHE'S REALLY NAUGHTY, AND IT'S
797
00:39:39,643 --> 00:39:41,879
TWO PEOPLE BEING REALLY NAUGHTY.
798
00:39:41,946 --> 00:39:43,347
I'LL BE BACK HERE.
799
00:39:43,414 --> 00:39:45,683
WE'LL BOTH COME BACK AND BE
NAUGHTY AND FUN.
800
00:39:45,750 --> 00:39:48,586
>> Stephen: I'LL BRING THE
MEXICAN FOOD.
801
00:39:48,652 --> 00:39:52,289
JESSIE, SO LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
802
00:39:52,356 --> 00:39:56,093
IT "WOMEN TALKING" IS NOW
PLAYING IN SELECT THEATERS AND
803
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:57,695
PLAYING EVERYWHERE JANUARY 20.
804
00:39:57,762 --> 00:39:58,796
JESSIE BUCKLEY, EVERYBODY.
805
00:39:58,863 --> 00:39:59,363
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
806
00:40:19,016 --> 00:40:20,451
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE
LATE SHOW."
807
00:40:20,518 --> 00:40:21,252
JOIN US NEXT WEEK.
808
00:40:21,318 --> 00:40:21,752
I'VE GOT TOM HANKS AND PRINCE
HARRY.
809
00:40:21,819 --> 00:40:24,555
GOOD NIGHT!
810
00:40:24,622 --> 00:40:25,623
♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )