[cat purrs, meows]
[fast, lively flamenco music playing]
[screams]
[giggles]
-[Puss yowling] -El Gato!
[yowls]
[El Guante Blanco and Puss] ♪ And... ♪
♪ With forepaws so soft ♪
♪ And tails held aloft ♪
♪ We raise the kitty flag ♪
[all laughing]
Ah. "The Kitty Flag."
Out of all the rousing anthems of feline heroism you taught me, Maestro,
that one may be my favorite.
You can still hit the high notes, Ginger. Most impressive.
And only a little unsettling.
[chuckles] It's good to see you smile again, Puss.
I have never felt better!
Reunited with my mentor on an epic quest to save San Lorenzo.
I have excitement rippling through my veins.
-Just look at it ripple. -[giggles]
This calls for a toast.
To El Guante Blanco.
With you on our team, we cannot fail.
Well, with me and a few other individuals. Yes?
[gulps]
Pardon?
Do not misunderstand me, Ginger.
Though tiny, we cats are capable of impressive feats.
Of course. We have just sung at least 12 different songs
that make this very point. And songs do not lie.
But if we are going to battle an entire army
to rescue this goaty man of yours, we will surely need--
A new song!
A hulking brute.
Hmm. I see what you mean. Some kind of great colossus.
Well, Señora Zapata is on the larger side.
Or maybe Vina. She is a child, yes.
But as children go, she is not as small as some are.
Puss, what about the Golem?
I hardly see how the Golem could help us,
what with his monstrous size, terrible strength, and...
Oh.
Who is this Golem you speak of?
[Dulcinea] He was a huge clay monster created by an evil wizard to destroy Puss.
[Golem growling]
[dramatic music playing]
[Puss] He came to San Lorenzo a foe... but he left a friend.
[yawns] Well, this Golem sounds like just the man we need.
[chuckles] A thousand apologies.
It is late, and I am tired.
Already? But it is barely night.
At my age, Ginger, anything after lunchtime is late.
[sighs]
You know, even though he almost destroyed San Lorenzo,
I'm looking forward to seeing the Golem.
Indeed. He will make a marvelous addition to the team.
He sure will. He'll be the muscle!
The what?
You know, the muscle. He'll do all the muscly stuff for us.
Anyway, good night.
[snoring]
He is the muscle?
[yawns]
-[gasps] -[laughs] Yes, good morning. Hello. Hi.
Did you sleep well? Okay, glad to hear it.
So, what you said last night, about the Golem being the muscle.
[chuckles] You were joking, yes?
Puss, did you sleep at all?
Because everyone knows that I am the muscle
on account of all the muscles I possess.
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco.
Just look at how many muscles are rippling.
So many ripplings in my muscles. [straining]
Look out.
Puss, I wasn't insulting you.
I was only saying you're, you know,
not exactly a big, hefty, incredibly strong guy like the Golem is.
Oh, I am not, eh?
I am at least sev--
Seven feet tall. No, 12.
I have the physique of two giants, one standing on top of the other.
Puss, you do understand
that other people can be better at certain things than you, don't you?
No one is better than me at being the muscle,
and I will prove it...
if it is the only thing I do today!
Good morning, you two. Are we ready to look for this Golem?
If it is one of only two things I do today!
[Puss] One time, I lifted an entire house using only my pinky toe.
I recall another occasion when I defeated a mighty Cyclops, merely by flexing...
...even though I had a bad cold, I won the arm wrestling contest. Hello?
...entire army perched on my shoulders, I marched along...
"You cannot defeat me," cried the powerful mountain gorilla.
But I still triumphed.
...was when I shattered the immense boulder with a single blow.
...swore I was stronger than any god or monster.
...the mountain into the sky, while bending a steel bar with my teeth.
I cannot wait to see the Golem.
Two great friends hanging out, comparing muscles...
Excuse me.
[Puss grunting]
So, with that thing, uh...
you just think of what you're looking for, and it leads you to it?
Exactly. So right now, I'm thinking of clay.
Like, a lot of clay. [chuckles]
Fascinating.
In my day, we had to find an enchanted frog and tickle it
until it told us what we wanted to know.
It was very difficult and it never worked, but, uh...
Meh. Tradition.
Oh, I think we're close!
-[Puss grunting] -Puss, come on!
-[El Guante Blanco] Come on, Ginger. -Wait!
Look!
[Golem grunting]
-The Golem! -Hang on, Ginger.
There is something not right about this situation.
Let us observe for a moment.
[chuckles] No need. The Golem and I are good friends.
Our friendship was forged through muscles.
-Actually, it was-- -Tut, tut, tut, tut. Muscles.
Golem, old buddy!
-Come to Uncle Puss, you big clay softie! -Uh...
Boot Cat?
Indeed, my also-muscular friend.
So, listen. We need your help.
Golem cannot help Boot Cat.
What? Why not?
Because Golem have new master now.
And she say that if Golem see Boot Cat--
Golem must kill Boot Cat! [laughs wickedly] Crush him!
Duchess!
Puss in Boots, it's always good to see you...
in pain!
I demand that you let the Golem go. He is a kind soul.
Oh, I'll consider that, Puss.
Just as soon as you're dead!
[Golem grunts]
[Puss grunting]
[screams, yowls]
Oh, goody! Success!
Golem, end him!
[El Guante Blanco] Not so fast.
I do not know who you are, madam.
And I do not know what problem you have with Puss in Boots.
Oh, nothing, really.
Just that he took my foot!
Oh.
Well, that...
makes sense?
Anyway, what I do know
is that this is Crepitus Procursus,
the legendary exploding crystal.
If you were to harm Puss,
my sword might, uh...
-slip! -[gasps] You fool!
Uh-uh-uh.
[gasps] If you hit the crystal, it would--
[imitates explosion]
Yes! Very big... [imitates explosion]
I have always wondered how this stuff works.
[booming]
[laughs] My, my!
If that little piece contains all that destructive power,
think of the... [imitates explosion]
...if I hit the big one. Huh?
[growling]
Just try me, One-Foot.
[grunts]
[screams]
[growls]
Golem, step away from Puss in Boots.
We're done with that little creep.
Not want hurt Boot Cat.
[Duchess] Away we soar!
[Duchess grunting]
The poor Golem! We must rescue him.
Not just for San Lorenzo's sake, but for his sake as well.
Not to mention, she called me "little."
I believe it was "little creep."
I am fine with "creep." But "little"?
I must prove to her and the world that I am a big and strong kitty cat.
This is my one true quest!
So, are we going to rescue your Golem friend from this Duchess?
These are my two true quests!
Ah-ha!
An obstruction, right in our path. I will go remove it.
Obstruction removed. We may now proceed.
Egad! Another obstruction!
One moment, not to worry.
Ha! I live for this.
[sighs]
[scoffs] I hope he gets over this.
We need the Golem so we can rescue Uli and fight the Bloodwolf.
San Lorenzo is depending on us!
Indeed. Well, when we find the Duchess's lair,
we will assess the fortifications, then--
[Puss straining]
Are you two watching?
This will be most impressive!
Ginger, please. Now is not the time.
We are discussing a strategy.
[strains] How dare you address me as though I were a child?
Also, you never look at me when I do neat things!
Look at me! Look at me!
-[Puss straining] -Ay-ay-ay!
Puss, you don't need to go around picking up rocks to impress us.
This is very true,
because picking up rocks is easy.
We will not be impressed until you attempt truly arduous physical tasks.
[softly] What are you doing?
[whispers] When he is like this,
it is best to just let him wear himself out.
I will show you arduous tasks!
There is nothing that El Fuerte cannot do.
El Fuerte means "The Strong One." Many people call me that.
-[Dulcinea] Who calls-- -You do not know them!
Now, prepare to be amazed
by my tasks of overwhelming arduousnessness!
[grunting]
Push-ups.
Stomach crunches.
Pulling a rock.
Boulder squats. [grunts]
Whatever this is called.
Pulling... big rock.
Holding my breath for a whole minute.
Pulling really big-- [groans]
Eating a mouthful of gravel.
[Dulcinea] Oh, Puss, don't put that in your mouth.
[gulps]
[Puss grunting] Slaying a tree.
This is not impressive.
Enough of your criticism.
How many more tasks must I perform
before you acknowledge my superlative strength?
Hmm... None. Because we are here.
Ah-ha. A heavily-fortified, impenetrable door.
But it is no match for my strength.
Let's go, muscles.
[grunts, straining]
Ow! It is starting to give.
-[Dulcinea sighs] -[El Guante Blanco] Ginger.
Shh! Do not distract me. I am making progress.
What you are making is a fool... of yourself!
Why do you say these things, Maestro?
Because you must accept who you are.
You are not the muscle of this operation,
and you never will be.
[sighs]
[sighs] And since it appears we cannot get inside to free this Golem,
neither will he.
So, I have failed. All is lost.
Puss, you're being too hard on yourself.
So what if we didn't manage to get the muscle?
At least we've still got the brains!
Thank you, Dulcinea. That does make me feel--
Wait, him?
Hmm? What? No. I didn't. Uh...
So, I am not the muscle or the brains?
Then who am I?
-Puss-- -No!
[sniffles] I am going to find a delicious pile of gravel
-and eat all of it! -[heavy thudding nearby]
[whispers] Quiet!
-[machine whirring] -[heavy thudding continues]
[Duchess grunting]
Open the door, Golem.
This is our chance. I can save the Golem.
-Puss, don't! -Do not be foolish, Ginger!
[grunts] Does this look foolish to you?
[straining]
Whoa!
Well, obviously this door is defective.
No matter.
[grunts]
Why is it so dark in here, anyway?
[Duchess laughing wickedly]
Okay, okay, that was impressive,
but, ha! No cage can hold me!
[straining]
Do not help me.
I will help you, Puss in Boots.
Help you to your grave!
[laughs maliciously]
[groans]
Puss has forgotten all of his training.
Whoever taught him to rush into things like that?
Uh, Maestro--
I told him time and time again,
before you engage in any situation, you must first observe!
Nothing could be more important!
-Maestro? -Yes, what is it?
Oh, just, on the subject of observing...
Oh.
Yes.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Duchess laughing]
[laughter continues]
Oh, it's going to be glorious when the Golem pulls you apart,
limb from limb, then separates your insides into various piles.
That is most disturbing.
I mean, it'll be gross too, obviously.
Goes without saying.
He will not do it. He is my friend.
No, he's not. He's my slave. I'll prove it.
Golem, get that rock and smash Puss in Boots.
[Dulcinea gasps]
Oh, well, isn't this convenient?
Grab them!
[Dulcinea screams]
Not want put friends in cage.
But must obey.
Life just vale of tears.
Oh, this is just delicious.
You, trapped in a cage, me, deciding how I'd like to see you killed!
Don't you just wish we could bottle up this moment and save it forever?
[sighs] It has become clear to me that I am neither the muscle...
nor the brains.
[sighs]
I am the nothing.
Mm. So, now, you're no more than a pretty face, eh?
[voice cracking] It would seem so.
Golem, destroy Boot Cat!
No, wait. Uh...
Destroy all the cats!
In this room. Not, you know, in the world. That would be an atrocity. [laughs]
And go!
Puss, you've got to do something!
I am not one who is prone to getting hysterical, Ginger, but...
[shouts] ...you really need to do something!
What can I do?
Like she said, I am nothing but a pretty face.
[giggles]
Wait a minute!
[Dulcinea and El Guante Blanco gasp]
[Golem] Whoa!
I am... the face!
So pretty.
Ha-ha!
[screams] No!
Timber.
[groaning]
[Dulcinea screaming]
En garde!
Hey, Puss. Catch!
[grunting]
Whoa!
[grunts]
[grunting]
[screams]
Oh!
[Puss] Stop chasing me!
[Duchess cackling]
[Puss yowling]
"Be free...
-again." -[Puss screaming]
[Puss grunting]
Say goodbye to your security deposit.
[grunts, groans]
[screams]
[screaming]
No one hurt Boot Cat!
Yes, yes, agreed!
And Golem not eat Duchess! Are these terms acceptable to you?
Golem not eat people.
Golem eat clay.
It science. Read book.
Golem, my friend. You saved me.
You saved us.
Golem love helping Boot Cat.
In that case, Golem,
we need your help against the most formidable adversary,
the Bloodwolf!
Oh, the Bloodwolf? He is returning from the netherworld?
Why didn't you say so? I hate the Bloodwolf!
Like, more than I hate you, even. And I really hate you.
Oh! Put me down!
Higher.
Puss, I know we've had our differences in the past.
You mean 30 seconds ago?
But the Bloodwolf is the nemesis of all living things.
If he's coming back, he must be stopped.
Please, you have to let me help.
-Hmm. -[Duchess] Uh...
I declare a truce.
I will not fight you until we have defeated the Bloodwolf,
or died trying.
Hm. Look into my eyes.
No one can hide a lie from Puss in Boots.
Oh. All right.
Yes.
Okay.
We will defeat the Bloodwolf together.
You speak...
the truth!
Partners?
Partners!
Oh, I love truces!
[Puss chuckles] You know something, Dulcinea?
I am 100% fine not being the brains or the muscle.
As long as everyone is very, really very clear
that I am the face.
Well, you know, Puss, not to be difficult,
but I've been using a new moisturizer,
and I feel like I've taken ten years... Uh...
But I'll let you have your moment.
Don't be silly, Puss.
You're much more than just the face.
You're the hero.
Yes. I am the hero!
The muscular, brainy hero.
Sure you are, Puss.
-I am. -Of course.
I do not like your tone.
[Dulcinea] So muscular and brainy.
[Puss] Now you are just patronizing me.
[fast, lively flamenco music playing]