[keys clacking]
♪ [Modest Mouse's "The World at Large"]
♪ ♪
BROCK: ♪ Ice age heat wave ♪
"Verbally threatening suicide,
"recent loss of a loved one to death,
expressions of hopelessness and anger..."
"Sudden decline in academic performance,
"increased used of mind-altering substances,
loss of interest in sex."
Alaska displayed two of those warning signs.
She had lost, though not recently, her mom.
She was definitely drinking a lot more at the end.
She did talk about dying.
Yeah, to be pretentious, not because she meant it.
Her grades didn't drop,
and she sure as hell didn't lose interest in sex.
I mean, you had to like sex an awful lot
to make out with your scrawny ass.
Funny.
BROCK: ♪ And the nights get cold ♪
♪ I like the autumn, but this place is getting old ♪
♪ I pack up my belongings, and I head for the coast ♪
♪ It might not be a lot, but I feel like ♪
Her mood could be so unpredictable.
Whenever she didn't feel like answering
a "how," "when," "why," or "what" question,
she could get so dark.
COLONEL: What? And I can't get dark?
By the way, you haven't been
all sunshine and rainbows lately,
and you not gonna off yourself.
Wait, are you?
Funny.
BROCK: ♪ I couldn't hear my mouth ♪
♪ My thoughts were so loud ♪
♪ ♪
Okay, I have a theory.
It's not terribly likely, but it is plausible.
So that night, the phone rings.
It's Jake, calling to wish her a happy anniversary.
What a nice guy.
So she feels awful for hooking up with Pudge
and wants to go see him.
So now she's furious and drunk and just mad at herself.
She's driving along,
and she sees the cop car.
And in a flash, everything comes together
and she does it.
Not because she was drunk, but because she killed herself.
[solemn music]
That's ridiculous.
We've already been over this.
She wasn't thinking about Jake--
Do you even care about her or give a fuck about the truth?
What are you even talking about?
Easy, Colonel.
If she loved you so much, why'd she leave that night?
And if you loved her so much, why'd you help her go?
I was drunk. What's your excuse?
Shut up.
[huffs]
Fuck you.
♪ ♪
What the fuck is y'all looking at?
♪ ♪
HYDE: "How will we ever get out
of this labyrinth of suffering"?
And lately, we have all been given more than enough reason
to despair, but here you all are
in my class.
In the face of great sadness, you are all getting through.
You are, as they say, surviving.
So as you work on your paper,
as you try to answer the question
of the late Alaska Young, ask yourself...
"What is my cause for hope"?
COLONEL: Hey, Pudge.
Pudge, slow those scrawny legs down, man.
I, uh...
I know I said some pretty hurtful shit,
and I was wrong.
I just want things to be normal again.
Just me and you, normal.
That's all I want.
I feel like if we just knew...
You're right. We have to keep on looking.
What if we don't figure anything out?
There are answers to every mystery,
just gotta know where to look.
Good thing I got a plan.
[door bangs open]
Excuse me.
I'm Alaska Young's brother,
and I need to speak to the cop who saw her die.
[phone ringing]
[over radio] OFFICER: 26-8-7, repeat.
OFFICER CONWAY: You sure you're 19?
COLONEL: Excuse my French, officer,
but that's bullshit.
You can get married at 18--hell, 14
with your parents' permission,
but I have to wait till I'm 19 to smoke?
So you're 18.Man, write me a ticket.
We just need to know what you saw.
[birds chirping]
[glass shatters]
I've seen plenty, but I ain't never seen that.
She didn't brake.
She just hit it.
CONWAY: Thought I was gonna die.
But here I am.
Did she say anything?
Like, did she have any last words?
Sorry, it's kind of a thing he's into.
She was, uh...
She was passed on, son.
Do you think it was an accident?
[somber music]
♪ ♪
Well, I...I been a state trooper for 26 years.
I seen more drunks than you can count.
Never seen anybody so drunk they can't swerve.
How drunk was she?
[clears throat]
Her, uh, blood alcohol was .21.
That's drunk, certainly.
It's powerful drunk.
♪ ♪
Is there any chance we can get a copy
of the police report?
[door clicks open]
Um, I'm not supposed to do that
and certainly not to hand over to some kids.
I understand, officer. I really do.
But we're desperate and just searching
for any sort of clues as to what happened
and maybe, just maybe, there's something
in that police report that can help us out.
All right, but only because you're family.
CONWAY: I'll go copy what I can for you boys.
I hope you find what you're looking for.
COLONEL: Well, that cop just convinced me
it might have been a suicide.
And if she knew what she was doing,
she made us accomplices, Pudge, and I hate her for that.
Maybe we should just let her be dead.
[solemn country music]
SINGER: ♪ So I looked her in the eyes ♪
You kids go to Culver Creek?
[clears throat]
Y'all had a death up there.
Uh, awful sorry to hear that.
It's on the house.
♪ ♪
COLONEL: I always knew Alaska was good for something.
It turns out she was.
TAKUMI: Free Ding Dong.
The web says that suicides usually involve
carefully thought out plans,
but nothing in that report makes it seem like
she thought this out.
Her car had college brochures, and she was clearly planning
for the future.
Okay, fine. It wasn't suicide.
But it doesn't make sense as an accident either.
[sighs] We're really making progress.
We have one move left.
The only way to get into Alaska's head that night
is to get as drunk as she was.
The Eagle keeps a breathalyzer in his house, and we need it.
[doorbell rings]
Gentlemen, this is a pleasant surprise.
So is the sight of your upper lip.
Can I get you boys a couple of croque monsieurs?
EAGLE: I just happened to be cooking up a petit déjeuner,
if you are interested.Uh, no thank you, sir.
Uh, we--we just ate.
[chuckles]
So, what brings you to the Eagle's Nest?
Yes, I know what you call me. It's charming.
MILES: They are a majestic bird, sir.
COLONEL: And patriotic.
Um, but anyway, we've been talking,
and we think it would be nice
to do something official to memorialize Alaska.
COLONEL: Uh, perhaps you didn't hear us.
We already ate.
Yes, I have company.
[toilet flushes]
MILES: Uh, those look fantastic.
COLONEL: Madame O'Malley!EAGLE: Thank you.
Oh, mon Dieu!
I had no idea you and the Eag--
Mr. Starnes-- were spending time together.
You know, the French are known for their sophistication.
MILES: Yep, they are very sophisticated
with their taste, I've heard.
Well, I'm from Albuquerque, originally, but--
COLONEL: Oh, great place.O'MALLEY: Merci, Chip.
Gonna go grade some papers.COLONEL: Oh, come on!
Grading papers can wait.
Plus, you have a delicious egg sando
coming fresh off the stove.
[Miles chuckles nervously]
And I need to know all the deets about you two.
Mr. Starnes, you sly devil...
Watch your step, Chip.
Wow, that is some high-end fromage.
COLONEL: Oh, wow.
MILES: Really should not be interrupting
this, uh, petit déjeuner. O'MALLEY: Hang out, Miles.
I can't take credit.
Um... but anyway, we should get going.
[door clicks shut]COLONEL: Yeah, we should go.
MILES: 'Cause we got so many things--
Was that the front door?
I did not hear anything.Neither did I.
Merde, are you two up to something?
MILES: Ah, merde.
[music playing over speakers]
Sorry, I... think I might still just be
a little on edge,
and you two don't exactly have the best reputation.
It's totally understandable.
COLONEL: We have been known to cause a little trouble
in the past.
There's no comfort from this grief, is there?
It's just been awful.
But some kind of memorial would be lovely.
I'll think about it over Christmas break.
Thank you for your kind consideration.
And I am gonna be sending you two a mistletoe.
Y'all are crazy cute, and I'm rooting for you.
Don't have too much fun.
Thank you, Mr. Martin. A bientôt.
♪ [J-Kwon's "Tipsy"] J-KWON: ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
Ah, help me, Pudge!MILES: All right.
Help!That's shot number six.
We gotta go again.
Drinking this much vodka is bad enough,
but it's the milk that may actually kill me.
It says there are no tire marks.
That means she didn't brake. That's suicide.
Unless she fell asleep.
I don't know if you can drive straight
while y-you're asleep, but if anyone could--
One of y'all can be a guinea pig
for that little experiment.
[exhales]
J-KWON: ♪ Homeboy tripping, he don't know ♪
Oh, it burns! It burns.
Okay, blow hard into this for at least two seconds.
Is that what you told Lara?MILES: Shut up.
[blowing]
[device beeps]
MILES: .14. Oh, come on, man!
You're almost 2/3 of the way there.
Well, I'm 3/4 of the way to puking.
J-KWON: ♪ Everybody in the club getting tipsy ♪
♪ Everybody in the club getting tipsy ♪
♪ Two, here comes the three to the four to the five ♪
♪ Now I'm looking at shorty right in her eyes ♪
I did it!MILES: .21!
Way to go, Colonel.
J-KWON: ♪ In the club getting tipsy ♪
MILES: Sit back down.TAKUMI: Whoa, take it easy.
I'm gonna puke.No, no, no, no, no, no.
You can't--you can't do that.
If you do that, you're gonna ruin
the whole experiment, and we need more information.
We need you to pass the field sobriety test.
MILES: Just walk a straight line.
Oh, that's it?BOTH: Yeah.
I can do that for sure.
Was she really this drunk?
TAKUMI: Apparently.
Hey, could you drive right now?
No, no, no, no, no.
Pudge, we're really stupid.
We were worse than stupid.
[melancholy music]
She must have been wasted.
Why did we believe her
when she said she wasn't?
♪ ♪
Because we never knew if she was drunk or not...
if she was happy or not.
And we always did what she wanted.
[banging on door]
[clattering]
MILES: Cry.What?
Cry.EAGLE: I'm coming in.
[lock snapping]
[whimpering]
EAGLE: Do you have any idea what time it is?
What is going on in here?
[Colonel sobbing]MILES: Uh--uh, we do,
and--and I'm really, really sorry.
The Colonel's just having a really tough time right now.
It's the Alaska thing. It's just really hitting him.
I didn't know what to do, so I got Takumi.
My--my, uh, shoulder's known as Culver Creek's best
for crying on.
Mr. Martin, is there anything that I can do?
[breathes deeply]
No, sir.
I'm just really grateful I have such good friends.
I am too.
Mr. Hikohito, why don't you get back to your room?
It's well past your bedtime.
And Miles...
Just keep an eye on him, okay?
If he needs a grief counselor, the school can provide one.
MILES: Will do.EAGLE: Thank you, Miles.
Now, lights out.
[ambient music]
♪ ♪
[Colonel snoring]
♪ ♪
JUDY: How are you, Miles?
WALT: You hanging in there, pal?
I'm, uh... you know.
JUDY: Well, we are so excited that you're coming home.
WALT: Yeah, your mom's almost forgiven you
for bailing on Thanksgiving.
She didn't stop talking about
all the leftover cranberry sauce.
JUDY: That is untrue,
because there are never leftovers
when your Uncle Melvin joins us.
WALT: Don't shame Uncle Mel.
He got the lap band surgery, and he's doing great now.
[voices fading]
♪ ♪
JUDY: ...talk about the surgery, Miles?
Miles, are you there?
Uh, I love you guys. I'll see you soon.
[phone clatters]
♪ ♪
MILES: Hey.
Her plastic daisies.
When we were packing up her room,
do you remember, were her plastic daisies in there?
I don't know. What?
Why?
Where's the police report?
COLONEL: What's going on, Pudge?
MILES: Holy shit.
Here it is.
Found in her car: her plastic daisies.
The daisies mean something.
Why would she leave here with plastic daisies in her car?
She was on the phone with Jake,
and she got upset when he brought up their anniversary,
so maybe in her feminist fashion,
she was bringing him flowers to apologize?
Yeah, maybe.
We need to talk to Jake. Maybe he can explain it.
I don't know.
We have to go where the investigation takes us,
even if we don't like what we find.
Oh. Oh.
I still feel like death warmed over.
So I'm gonna need you to do all the talking.
Can you turn off the sun?
[guitar strumming softly]
♪ ♪
[phone ringing]
[phone beeps]
Yo. MILES: Hey, Jake.
It's Miles.Oh, hey, Miles.
Good to hear from you, man.
Actually been thinking of calling you.
Is that right? JAKE: Yeah.
You and I are kind of in the same boat, you know?
How we felt about her, how we feel now,
like an Alaska support group.
That sounds nice.
MILES: Actually, Alaska is the reason I'm calling you.
JAKE: Yeah, she's all I think about too.
See, man, we're the same.
Um, is there any chance that she was driving
to bring you plastic daisies?
JAKE: Sorry, what does that have to do with anything?
Um... I-I don't know.
I, uh--it sounds weird saying it out loud.
Maybe it wasn't a clue after all.
It's funny.
I remember the day I met her.
[dramatic music]
She had a daisy in her hair,
sitting on that bridge, just so freaking sad.
So freaking beautiful, just drinking all alone.
I'm so confused, man.Hang up.
Shh.Hang up.
JAKE: She broke up with me and I still love her.
I'm really sorry, Jake, I-I didn't mean to upset you.
I-I'll call you again, okay?
That was really rude.
We got as much as we gonna get
out of that beautiful, sad man.
So the daisies weren't for Jake.
Yeah, as I've been saying.
And they had nothing to do with the anniversary,
but where else do you take flowers?
Uh, a wedding.
Why would you drive off crying and hysterical
if you're going to a wedding?
A funeral.No, Alaska don't know
nobody who died.
Not recently.
Come on.
[keys clacking]
"Mary Ellen Young leaves behind a daughter, Alaska."
This is it. This is her.
Look at the date. December 12th, 1997.
Which is the same date that Alaska died.
And the anniversary of the day she met Jake.
Which is also the anniversary of her mom's death.
I forgot.
BOTH: That's where she was going!
Holy shit.
[exhales deeply]
Takumi, my man.
We was looking for you.
You missed class.MILES: We solved it.
I saw a daisy on the wall by the payphone
and remembered her plastic daisies,
and they were in the car with her,
because she was driving to her mother's grave.
COLONEL: It was the anniversary of her mom's death,
which she forgot--well, almost.
That's why she was upset.
I can't believe we didn't think of it earlier.
I mean, don't sell yourself short, Pudge.
We thought of it eventually.Yeah.
And what did I tell you? There are always answers.
Yeah, you did say that.COLONEL: I always say that.
What answers?
Well, the part about the daisy.
The flowers.
TAKUMI: Yeah, what does that prove?
We still don't know if it was an accident
or if she did it on purpose.
What exactly have you figured out?
Only Alaska knows if she fell asleep
or was fumbling for a cigarette and didn't see a cop car,
or did see it and hit the gas.
And those secrets died with her.
Even if you did figure it all out,
what would it change?
It won't make her less dead.
Listen, man, if you don't wanna know--
We will never know.
This mystery can't be solved.
We have to live with that for the rest of our lives.
[solemn music]
♪ ♪
♪ [The Wailers' "She's Comin' Home"]
♪ ♪
SINGER: ♪ There's a feelin' in the air ♪
♪ Happy people everywhere ♪
JUDY: [muffled] Miles.
WALT: Miles.
JUDY: Miles!
SINGER: ♪ Oh, can you see ♪
JUDY: Are you gonna spend your whole vacation in the pool?
We wanna spend some time with you too, pal.
It's almost Christmas Eve.
Okay. I-I'll be out in a few.
And could you get rid of that for me?
Please.
SINGER: ♪ Christmas carols, everyone ♪
♪ My love for her I'll show ♪
♪ When I catch her under the mistletoe ♪
♪ Oh, can you see ♪
MRS. WIGFIELD: Any big plans for Christmas, Chip?
You're looking at it.
I'll just be here, peddling lawn ornament reindeer
as one small cog
in the big Christmas industrial complex.
I hope you have a happy holiday.
Probably won't.MRS. WIGFIELD: What's that now?
[clears throat]
I said, you too, Ms. Wigfield.
SINGER: ♪ Now I'm so glad ♪
[sighs]
All right, Chip, it's one thing to be sad,
but it's another to be rude to my customers,
who are also our neighbors.
So leave the attitude behind when we get to church tonight.
I'm not going to church.
SINGER: ♪ Till she has to go away ♪
DOLORES: Excuse me?
Oh, you're gonna turn your back on Jesus?
I'm pretty sure he turned his back on me.
DOLORES: I know you're upset, son,
but now, more than ever, you need prayer
and community, and God.
God?
What kind of God would let a teenage girl die
in a car accident?
Not one that I need. I'm done.
[TV narrator speaking indistinctly]
[meerkats on TV chirping]
WALT: Hey, Miles?
Want to watch a little Meerkat Manor with us?
It's gotten really good.
Flower just evicted Kinkaju and Mozart.
WALT: Spoiler alert.Uh, I-I'm working.
Trying to finish this essay for my World Religions class.
Or start it, actually. It's important.
I'm not really interested in the domestic issues of meerkats.
TV narrator: While the rest of the Whiskers family
hang out together in the stolen burrow,
grooming and enjoying each other's company,
it's a very different story...
I can't write with you staring at me.
[knock at door]
I'm good.
I-I'm sorry, I just, uh...
this--this essay is a big part of my grade,
and I don't even know what I'm gonna write.
And so... I'm just--I'm just under a lot of pressure.
Your father and I want you to know,
you don't have to go back to Culver Creek.
You can return to your high school here.
You can come home, Miles.
We'll help you get over it.I'm not gonna get over it.
JUDY: I didn't mean right away, of course.
But in time, you will weather this storm.
Not this one.
If people were rain...
I was drizzle.
And... she...
She was a hurricane, okay?
There's not gonna be a day in my life
where I don't think about her.
It feels like that now, but it will get easier.
I don't want it to get easier!
Because then that means that I've stopped remembering her.
And is that what we're rooting for here?
That--that I forget her?
That she just becomes some distant memory?
Is that you want me to do when you die,
for me to forget you?
Because the bodies are gonna keep on piling up,
and the longer that I live,
the more people that I know will die.
And do I even have enough space in my memory for all of them?
And what does it even matter anyway?
Someday, no one will remember that she even existed,
or that I did.
Everything falls apart... memories too.
And then you're left with nothing,
not even a fucking ghost.
Just think about it.
[phone ringing]
Hello. MILES: Hey, Colonel.
Merry Christmas Eve, Pudge.
I hope you note that that was dripping in irony.
MILES: Noted.
My ability to understand sarcasm is still intact.
Good, otherwise, this friendship is over.
And seeing as though you are my last remaining friend,
I can't afford to lose you.
Listen, Colonel, um, I was talking with my parents.
Walter Halter and Judy. Send them my best.
Sure, I will.
But, uh, we were discussing everything,
and...
I'm not going back to Culver Creek.
MILES: I can't.
It's--it's gonna be spring soon,
and she's not gonna be there to see it.
And I just...
I-I don't wanna see a world
she will never get to see.
[somber music]
♪ ♪
Okay, seasons are a thing.
There's no avoiding that.
So, uh, what you gonna do?
Well, my grades were good,
and my teachers at my old school loved me.
How could they not?
So my parents say they'll be happy to have me back.
Well, good. That's great.
Must be so nice to be able to run away from your problems
and know everything's gonna be all right.
I wish you a soft landing, and good luck.
♪ ♪
[soft folk music]
♪ ♪
SINGER: ♪ Think of you quite often ♪
♪ Wondering how you've been ♪
♪ ♪
[gravel crunching]
♪ Memories are not so bad ♪
♪ They crawl under my skin ♪
♪ ♪
Sorry, we're closed for tonight.
SINGER: ♪ The last thing we could picture ♪
♪ You waved to me good-bye ♪
♪ ♪
What are you doing here?
Dr. Hyde!
SINGER: ♪ I think it's worth a try ♪
You didn't want to go to church.
Looks like church did come to you.
SINGER: ♪ 'Cause oh ♪
♪ You are ♪
♪ Such beautiful friends ♪
♪ The beautiful prize ♪
♪ And ♪
♪ All we know ♪
Here we go.
COLONEL: No, Mom.
I don't want a cookie.
I can't believe you called him.
I can't believe he came.
We're honored to have you here, Dr. Hyde.
I'ma leave you all alone, but if you need anything,
you just holler.
Thank you, Dolores.Thank you.
[door clicks shut]
So...
I understand you're having a crisis of faith.
No crisis, no faith.
People need to believe in something, Mr. Martin.
Yeah, well, people are fools.
HYDE: So you're prepared to render judgment
on all of humanity?
Just fools.
Look, I appreciate you coming out here,
but it's not necessary.
I really don't need to hear no inspirational
"it's all God's plan," circle of life bullshit.
That's not why I'm here.
So you're not here to cheer me up?
I am not.
I'm here to be with you.
You're grieving, so let yourself grieve.
You don't have to fight it.
Well, maybe I feel like fighting.
Alaska's dead, Miles isn't coming back,
and I'm spending Christmas Eve with my teacher.
HYDE: So be with your anger.
Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling.
The only hope of getting to the other side of this
is to go through it,
and I'm here to go through it with you.
Yeah, well, you're gonna be sitting here for a long time.
Well, that's all right. I got no place to be.
It's all right.
It's okay.
[gently sobbing]
HYDE: It's okay.
[sobbing]
[yells]
HYDE: It's okay, son. It's okay.
COLONEL: [sobbing]
I don't understand why He has to take my friend.
I just miss my friend.
HYDE: I know, son. I know.
Just let it out. That's good.
I miss her too.
[sobbing]
[Hyde gently shushes]
[solemn music]
♪ ♪
ALASKA: "Great Perhaps."
I like it.
It's just ambiguous enough.
Unquantifiable, kind of magical.
Hell of a metaphor.
♪ ♪
[low chatter]
♪ ♪
So.
Looks like I'm not getting a single after all.
Sorry to let you down.
You can never let me down, you skinny bastard.
[uplifting music]
♪ ♪
[bell tolling]
[birds chirping]
EAGLE: We put a lot of thought into how best to remember her,
and so I am proud to present
the Alaska Young memorial bench.
Alaska loved to read, and so maybe,
with spring upon us,
other students will sit on her bench,
reading and daring to dream.
[applause]
COLONEL: A bench. They gave her a fucking bench?
She would have hated that shit.
LARA: Well, then get her something
she would have loved.
What, like shitty wine and pretentious metaphors?
I don't know. How 'bout a prank?
Yes. That's great.
A memorial prank.
Alaska Young Memorial Prank.
TAKUMI: She did have that one idea she was working on.
She was saving it for our senior prank.
Never made it out of the planning phases,
but it's really good.
Executed as designed, it's more than just good.
It's epic.
But to pull it off, we gonna need more than just us.
True, we're gonna need the whole school,
and we could get in so much trouble.
I'm in.LARA: Me too.
Down.Let's make history.
♪ [Goldfrapp's "Ooh La La"]
♪ ♪
GOLDFRAPP: ♪ Dial up ♪
Hey, man, I can't give you any more free stuff.
Management was not pleased.
I don't want a free Ding Dong, Gus.
What you want?I want you.
Oh, hey.
Sara, I need you.
Please don't do this.
What? No, not like that.
LONGWELL: What's going on?
Jesus, Longwell, put a damn shirt on.
Your alabaster skin is blinding me.
What's this about, Chip?
GOLDFRAPP: ♪ Switch me on ♪
Something bigger than all of us.
Okay.
Miles, what's wrong? MILES: Hey, uh...
remember when you stole the school bell
and buried it in the cemetery?
Greatest prank in Culver Creek history, yeah.
Well, how would you like to be a part
of the new greatest prank ever?
Go on.
Mr. Starnes, Miles and I are here
as representatives of the junior class
to let you know that we've selected our speaker
for Speaker Day.
Well, wonderful.
It's always such an enriching day.
Please, who is it?
It's a close friend of Miles' dad.
Dr. William Morse.
He's a professor at a university in Florida.
He studies adolescent sexuality.
Mm.
Aiming for controversy, are we?
Oh, no.
I-I mean, I've met Dr. Morse.
He's interesting, but not controversial.
He just, uh, studies the adolescents' understanding
of sex and how it's constantly changing and growing.
He's opposed to premarital sex.
EAGLE: Ah.Oh.
Well, Lee, this sounds très intéressant.
When it comes to teenage sexuality,
the most important organ is their mind.
GOLDFRAPP: ♪ Ooh, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ I need la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
Let me give him a call.
[phone buttons beeping]
[line trilling]
[in sophisticated voice] Dr. Morse speaking.
EAGLE: Welcome, everyone.
This is a day of historic significance at Culver Creek.
It was the vision of our founder, Phillip Garden,
who thought that you, as students,
and we, as faculty, should take one afternoon a year
to benefit from the wisdom of voices
outside of the school.
Now, this year, we have two distinguished guests.
The senior class has chosen
Alabama Assistant Attorney General Tim Harris.
Welcome, Tim.
And the junior class has selected a speaker
equally as compelling,
just not quite as punctual, it would appear.
[door thuds open]
EAGLE: Ah, there he is.
The junior class speaker.
Dr. William Morse is a professor of psychology
at the University of Central Florida
and a widely respected scholar.
They talking about you.Okay, smile.
This--this itches, this...EAGLE: ...very interesting.
So please help me welcome Dr. William Morse.
Doctor.
[applause]
Welcome. Thank you for being here.
Thank you.
[clears throat]
[microphone feedback screeches]
Did we confirm he can read?
Good afternoon.
I'm here today to talk with you
about the fascinating subject
of teenage sexuality.
Uh, my research was in the field
of sexual linguistics,
specifically the way that young people discuss sex
and its related questions.
In today's world,
boys are much more likely to objectify girls' bodies
than the other way around.
Boys will say amongst themselves
that so-and-so has "perky breasts,"
while girls will more likely say
that a boy is cute, a term that describes
both emotional and physical characteristics.
See, this has an effect
of turning girls into mere objects,
while boys are seen by girls as whole people--
LARA: Hey, Doc!
You're so hot,
I wish you would just shut up
and take off all your clothes.
[laughter]
Why, thank you.
See, what just happened is a very interesting case study,
a female objectifying me, a male.
It's so unusual, I can only assume you were kidding.
She's not kidding!
Take off all your clothes!
Do it, hot stuff!Yeah, baby!
[laughter]
Well, it certainly is important to subvert
the patriarchal paradigm,
and I suppose this is one way to do so.
All right, then.
[audience murmuring]
This is for Alaska Young! [grunts]
♪ [Kelis' "Milkshake" playing]
KELIS: ♪ My milkshake brings ♪
♪ All the boys to the yard ♪
♪ And they're like, "It's better than yours" ♪
♪ Damn right, it's better than yours ♪
♪ I can teach you, but I have to charge ♪
♪ My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard ♪
♪ And they're like, "It's better than yours" ♪
♪ Damn right, it's better than yours ♪
♪ I can teach you, but I have to charge ♪
♪ I know you want it ♪
♪ The thing that makes me ♪
♪ ♪
♪ What the guys go crazy for ♪
♪ ♪
♪ They lose their minds ♪
♪ The way I wind ♪
♪ I think it's time ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ Warm it up ♪
This is for Alaska Young!
[cheering]
Yeah, Pudge!
This is for Alaska Young!
[cheering]
This is for Alaska Young!
[cheering]
KEVIN: This is for Alaska Young!
HANK: This is for Alaska!
[cheers and applause]
STUDENT: This is for Alaska!
[cheering]
STUDENT: This is for Alaska!
Oh, my God.
KELIS: ♪ I can see you're on it ♪
♪ You want me to teach thee ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Techniques that freaks these boys ♪
♪ ♪
♪ It can't be bought ♪
♪ Just know thieves get caught ♪
♪ Watch if you're smart ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪EAGLE: Okay.
KELIS: ♪ Warm it up ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ The boys are waiting ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
EAGLE: All right, all right. That's enough.
That's enough, Dr. Morse.
Wrap it up. Wrap it up.
That's enough, Dr. Morse.
You need to leave this campus immediately.
Please stop.
I did not approve of anything of this nature.
GUS: Yeah!Okay.
That's enough. That's enough.
Okay. Okay.
That was-- well, that was unexpected.
Uh, okay. All right.
So it's not--it's not funny.
So, up next, we have, uh, the seniors' speaker,
uh, Alabama Assistant Attorney General Tim Harris.
Please.
[cheers and applause]
[doors click open]
EAGLE: Mr. Martin, Mr. Halter.
You boys have some nerve.
Before you get too mad,
it can only be proven that we brought a person
onto the campus that we presumed to be
an expert on sexual expression,
but turned out to be someone
that expresses sexuality expertly.
What he said.
I'm not mad.
You're not?
No, I mean, don't ever do anything like that again.
But my goodness,
"subverting the patriarchal paradigm"?
It's like she wrote that speech herself.
[laughs]
[tender music]
Though I am unfamiliar with the sound,
I do believe we just heard the Eagle laugh.
Miracles do happen.Greatest prank ever.
[laughter]
Oh.
COLONEL: I gotta hand it to him.
Gus has some moves.
MILES: I came here looking for a Great Perhaps,
for real friends, and a more than minor life.
What you up to?
Um, finally writing the essay for Hyde.
She said I might be a writer,
so...
I want the first thing I write to be about her.
♪ ♪
Sorry to interrupt,
but there's still one last thing we need to do.
♪ ♪
MILES: Until I got here,
my only friends were the last words
of the already dead.
♪ ♪
Like William McKinley,
the third American president to be assassinated.
He lived for several days after he was shot.
But towards the end,
his wife started crying and screaming,
"I want to go too."
With his last measure of strength,
McKinley turned to his wife and spoke his last words,
"We are all going."
And then Alaska had to go,
because I screwed up and the Colonel screwed up
and we let her go
and she slipped through our fingers.
♪ ♪
We will always live with things done
and things left undone that day.
If only we could see
the endless string of consequences
that result from our smallest actions.
♪ ♪
But we can't know better
until knowing better is useless.
♪ ♪
I thought at first that she was just dead,
just darkness.
Just a body being eaten by bugs.
I still sometimes think that the afterlife
is just something we made up to ease the pain of loss,
to make our time in the labyrinth bearable.
But here's what gives me hope.
If you take Alaska's genetic code
and you add her life experiences
and the relationships she had with people,
and then you take the size and shape of her body,
you do not get her.
There is something else entirely.
There's a part of her greater than the sum
of her knowable parts.
♪ ♪
And that part has to go somewhere,
because energy once created is never destroyed.
♪ ♪
And if Alaska took her own life,
that is the hope I wish I could have given her,
to understand that anything in life is survivable,
because we are as indestructible
as we believe ourselves to be.
♪ ♪
[engine revving]
♪ ♪
[engine revving]
♪ ♪
[tires screech]
So I know she forgives me just as I forgive her.
We cannot be born, and we cannot die.
We can only change shapes and sizes
and manifestations.
♪ ♪
I know so many last words, but I'll never know hers.
I'll never know her thoughts in those last minutes.
We'll never know if she left us on purpose.
But the not knowing will not keep me from caring.
♪ ♪
[sniffling]
[both sobbing]
[Colonel breathing heavy]
We must look so fucking lame.
[both sobbing]
MILES: Alaska's last words to me were: "To be continued."
And she was right.
I must continue
I choose the labyrinth,
even if there is no way out,
even if we're all going,
even if everything falls apart.
♪ ♪
Hi.EAGLE: Morning.
♪ ♪
[lively chatter]
[laughter]
COLONEL: Okay.
[chatter continuing]
♪ ♪
All right. Good.
♪ ♪
[Lara laughing]
♪ ♪
[singer vocalizing]
[stirring music]
♪ ♪
MILES: I will always love Alaska Young,
my crooked neighbor, with all my crooked heart.
♪ ♪
Thomas Edison's last words were,
"It's very beautiful over there."
I don't know where "there" is...
But I believe it's somewhere.
And I hope it's beautiful.
♪ ♪
♪ [Mondo Cozmo's "Shine"]
♪ ♪
COZMO: ♪ Stick with me, Jesus ♪
♪ Through the coming storm ♪
♪ I've come to you in search of something ♪
♪ I've lost ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Shine down a light on me ♪
♪ Show a path ♪
♪ I promise you I will return ♪
♪ If you take me back ♪
♪ Let 'em get high ♪
♪ Let 'em get stoned ♪
♪ Everything will be all right ♪
♪ If you let it go ♪
♪ Let 'em get high ♪
♪ Let 'em get stoned ♪
♪ Everything will be all right ♪
♪ If you let it go ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Let 'em get high ♪
♪ Let 'em get stoned ♪
♪ Everything will be all right ♪
♪ If you let it go ♪